#51: Lose Your Fear, with Alexandra Thompson

In this episode of the Business On Purpose podcast, host Barry Barrett sits down with Alexandra Thompson, the leader of Alarm and Sonitrol New England. Alexandra shares the fascinating story of her company's beginnings, her journey within the business, and her vision for the future.

Key Highlights:  Alexandra introduces her company, a security systems integrator operating in New England with four offices and a team of about 100 people.

• The Founding Story: Alexandra narrates the inspiring story of how her father, Doug, started the company from scratch at the age of 25, including his early struggles and achievements.
• Growing Up in an Entrepreneurial Family: Insights into Alexandra's childhood experiences and how she perceived her father's hard work and the company's success.
• Transition to Leadership: Alexandra discusses her journey to leadership, the challenges of being a second-generation business owner, and her efforts to prove herself and add value to the business.
• Embracing Change and Personal Growth: Alexandra talks about her personal growth, overcoming feelings of entitlement, and shifting her mindset to focus on the company's collective success.
• Implementing EOS and Future Vision: How the company adopted the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to streamline operations, focus on their unique value, and plan for future growth.
• Customer Retention and Technology Integration: Strategies for reducing attrition, making security systems more user-friendly, and leveraging technology to enhance customer engagement.
• Sales and Abundance Mindset: Barry and Alexandra discuss the importance of a consultative sales approach and the abundance mindset in building successful customer relationships.
• Advice for Entrepreneurs: Alexandra's advice for aspiring business leaders: have faith, work hard, be open to coaching, and trust the journey.
• Closing Thoughts: Barry and Alexandra reflect on the importance of growth, both personal and professional, and maintaining a balance between ambition and contentment.

Join us for this insightful conversation that explores the intersection of legacy, leadership, and personal development. Alexandra Thompson's journey offers valuable lessons for entrepreneurs at every stage of their business journey.

Resources Mentioned:

• How to Be a Great Boss by Gino Wickman and René Boer
• Modern Wisdom Podcast by Chris Williamson

Connect with Us:

• Podcast Website: Business On Purpose
• Follow Barry Barrett on LinkedIn: Barry Barrett
• Sales Training information: www.bwpcoach.com/salestraining

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Great Boss Workshop

https://www.bwpcoach.com/greatbossworkshop

Great Boss Workshop

https://www.bwpcoach.com/greatbossworkshop

Great Boss Workshop: https://www.bwpcoach.com/greatbossworkshop

Transcript

51 Alexandra Thompson

[00:00:00] 

Barry: welcome to the podcast, her company has all these exciting things going for it because of the leadership and the direction that the leadership team has taken, she heads up the leadership team.

I'll let you tell her story, but welcome to the podcast. how are you today? 

Alexandra: Oh, I'm doing great, Barry. I'm excited. I get to spend an hour on a Friday morning with my good friend, you know, and, talk with you about things that we're both super interested in. So what a great way to start my day.

Barry: Yeah, we are friends and it's so incredible being able to work with the type of people that you just would just hang out with. and you're definitely one of those,tell us about your company, the name of your company, where it's located. And just a little bit about it. 

Alexandra: Yeah, absolutely. So we are alarm and Sonitrol New England.

We are here in New England and we have, we have four offices. We're in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut. we're a team of about a hundred people doing around 25 million a year in revenue. we [00:01:00] are an alarm systems integrator, meaning we buy, Hardware and software from manufacturers. We custom design security systems.

So, whether it's for a residential, your home burglar alarm or a large school district, we're protecting buildings from intrusion from fire and we're doing. So with. Burglary technology, fire system technology, and then also auxiliary types of technology like access control camera systems, locks, lights and thermostats in the case of the home.

so we. Design these systems, we install them, and then we service them over time. So we're generating our revenue from, our service department. We're generating it from our sales and installation department. And then we have this beautiful thing that everybody wants, which is our reoccurring monthly revenue, where we get paid every month to monitor these systems.

So if something goes off, we're calling the police, we're calling the fire department. And we've been doing it for a little over 50 years. that's great business. 

Barry: Yeah. [00:02:00] So 50 years, tell us like how the business got started and, why it got started in those. Yeah. 

Alexandra: Oh God. We have a really good, how it got started story.

I think I get very excited telling the story. it was my father that started the business and that's something in my career, you know, tried to downplay because my ego so badly wants me to, you know, earn my stripes and be legitimate enough on my own, but I am. Second generation in our business. And my father is just one of those really incredible people that started something that has become very big from nothing.

So he, here's a little bit of a backstory as to how he got introduced to somebody in our industry, right. Out of college, he went to a kind of a traditional four year school. And on the eve of his graduation, he met somebody who was opening up a burglar alarm company. He said, you know, Doug, my father, Come lay wire for me for the summer.

So he went in, you know, to pull wire to install these burglar alarms in a school district. So he [00:03:00] started by pulling the wire. Then he started mounting the hardware. Then, you know, so he was a technician, moved into sales, moved into managing a branch for them, and did all this before he's 25. And at the age of 25, he said, you know, I kind of know all aspects of this business.

I think that I could do this myself and I want to do this myself. So he bought, the rights to a franchise for a security franchise, security system, franchise company in Hartford, Connecticut. And he rented two apartments, one on top of the other. He's 25 years old. They're both little tiny studios in downtown Hartford in the lower one.

He puts a monitoring station, right? Where, cause you have to sit there and listen for the burglar alarms that go off so you can call the police. He hires three operators cause you have to do that 24 seven and he moves into the apartment upstairs. the first customer he sold was [00:04:00] a dry cleaner in downtown Hartford.

This is like 1972. And he had read in the paper that this guy got broken into and ran down there and said, you need an alarm system. And I have one to sell you. Right. And he sold him and three other customers. And he installed them himself over the course of a Labor Day weekend. He flipped the switch. on Monday morning or Tuesday morning and started monitoring these systems and from there he would, you know, he would do the midnight to 8 a.

m. monitoring shift when he didn't have an operator to cover, right? Go upstairs, take a nap, get up, look at the paper, who could possibly, you know, cold, go out, cold call, sell more people, install the systems himself, and that's our origin. Can you imagine? 25 year old kid. 

Barry: No, 

Alexandra: at 

Barry: 25, I was still trying to figure out, like, I don't know.

I don't know what I was trying to figure out, but I was trying to figure out something at 25. [00:05:00] 

Alexandra: I know, and he just, yeah, and he just did this for, you know, it's probably about 10 or 15 years where he was working that hard, you know, knowing with this holy grail of reoccurring monthly revenue that if he got to a certain scale, he would be able to take his foot off the gas.

Barry: So Doug started at 25 years old and for like 15 years he worked his face off.

Alexandra: Yeah. Yeah. 

Barry: And so tell me about like, You know, and the secondhand knowledge, I guess, and tell me about, like, what his life was like during that 15 years of about working half days, 12 hours, you know, 12, 15 hours, you know, 

Alexandra: I think now that I'm like slowing down and thinking about the timeline, it's probably more like 10 years, you know, and I think that, For, five of those years, he was a single guy and working, you know, round the clock kind of, this was his only thing and his only priority.

[00:06:00] he met my mother when he was around 30, and they got married very quickly and had three kids over the next, 10 years. and so his life definitely diversified at that point by becoming a father and, you know, raising those kids and being a husband. 

Barry: So from your point, he was hiring 

Alexandra: other people, you know, you hired salespeople, more technicians and grew the business organically.

Barry: So from your point of view, because I thought this is pretty interesting, you know, I've got a 16 year old, she's getting ready to turn 16 from your point of view, like, how did you experience this, you know, crazy entrepreneurial life? 

Alexandra: You know what, to be honest, Barry, I. Well, you know me, like that's my only mode.

I experienced it as growing up with extreme privilege. I experienced growing up that my dad had his own company and we had a lot of money and I didn't really think about. What he did to earn it or get it. I just kind of grew up in this very privileged [00:07:00] world and he went to work every day from nine to five and he'd come home for dinner.

but I didn't really think a whole lot about his business and I just was kind of doing my own thing. 

Barry: So if you put yourself in his shoes now that reflecting like, yeah. What do you, what is your insight? What is, what do you think about it? 

Alexandra: if I put myself in his shoes and I look back on his life and like what it all looked like, or I'm not sure I understand the question.

Barry: Yeah. So what I'm trying to figure out, like what I'm trying to look at is like you, you now have a young daughter, right? Yeah. You're married. And so you go to work every day. Yeah, this family, right? You have a daughter and I want you to look back and say, okay, from what you think from Doug's point of view, right?

And how you experience like, like his, I don't know, like, your, do you have a greater, what's your appreciation of what he did versus what [00:08:00] he, what you experienced? that's about it. 

Alexandra: It's a no, it's a great question. And I think, you know, my dad was one of those guys that somehow managed to come home for dinner at night.

And he drove us to school in the morning. And, you know, when I look back on it and thinking about what he built and what he did, It is really neat to think about how, you know, I think for him providing for us financially, was extremely important. And, you know, that's a lot of what drove him. Although I think he's just 1 of those people that has that inside drive that no matter what he's going a 1, 000, 000 miles an hour.

I mean, you know him. Well, he's now 76 years old and, you know, he just literally yesterday got off, you know, he's been running his boat up the East Coast and it's breaking down the whole way. And he's Ah, it's a great adventure. You know, he's probably up at 6am working out this morning. So he's a force of nature, but I appreciate.

What he did for us. and, you know, and it was a different time, right? It was the 80s and the early 90s. And, [00:09:00] you know, so it's easy for me as a, I don't know if I'm a millennial or Gen Z or whatever. I'm 41, but, you know, Gen X, like, ah, you know, they're, they weren't emotionally as present. And, you know, we're just such a different world now.

but he did a lot of things right. 

Barry: Yeah, I'm not that like, just open and honest. Like sometimes I'm not that emotionally present. Like I have to work on it. So yeah, you know, I'm like, but like we have tools to like videos and coaches and they never had. Right. So it's a struggle for me. No, because I'm gonna do, I've got a book 

Alexandra: I'm gonna text you.

Okay. That was mind blowing for me around emotional availability and maturity because, I don't know, I just love it whenever you can name something, when you can see yourself in a book and you're like, oh, I have that. Okay, so now how do I fix it? You know? But step one is knowing you have it and then talking to somebody who's already thought it through to help you.

Help you get better. 

Barry: Yeah, a hundred [00:10:00] percent. The yeah,when I'm in the room with him, you know, I'm 47 and the way he's like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm ever. I'm like, I feel lazy. And I'm like, well, I'm not a lazy guy, but somebody like that, they just have it in them. I don't know why they just don't know.

it's impressive to watch. So switching gears. You know, while ago earlier, you said, you know, you, you felt like you had to prove yourself, your ego, try to tell the story a different way, whatever. So that happens to a lot of people, a second generation, like, I don't personally know. How that feels.

I wish I knew how it felt to be a second generation business owner. my nephew now works, in the business. He's second generation. tell me what you think causes the second generation to feel like they need to prove themselves. 

Alexandra: Well, because, I deeply, how do I phrase this when I was younger and all the way up through undergrad [00:11:00] school.

So I also went to a traditional 4 year undergraduate program. I had just a total sense of entitlement. I thought that the world owed me the silver spoon. I was, you know, I was given and I thought that, It was just normal and I didn't have to work really hard. And, you know, I was given all of these tremendous opportunities and freedom from difficult things throughout my life.

And so for me, personally, because I lived that way and I know that's within me, and then I had a shift in my core values and who I am at a certain point in my life, It became really important. It would have been very easy for me to just kind of continue to coast and have a sense of entitlement and think that the world owed me something and, show up at work.

I guess my ego can't let me just be someone who takes advantage of their great situation. You know, I just feel really, I would feel terrible if I [00:12:00] wasn't earning. My salary, I would feel terrible if I wasn't helping the business. and quite frankly, at this moment in time, I'm probably a little bit overpaid, you know, in that, and that's because it's a family business.

I 

Barry: don't know. And that's 

Alexandra: kind of hard for me a little bit, you know, 

Barry: that's funny 

Alexandra: balance, but I don't know if that answers the question directly, but it's like, I. Have to earn my salary. It gives me a lot of insight. I don't want to be a person who just takes, takes, takes. Yeah. So it 

Barry: gives me a lot of insight.

when you were talking about, coasting and giving, got given stuff like from my experience of you in the last couple of years, like there is not even asemblance of that in you, which is really cool. As far as you being overpaid, no thanks. Like you're being paid appropriately.

I think that's head trash that you get 

Alexandra: a 

Barry: family [00:13:00] member. So, yeah, that, that's good stuff. That gives me a lot of insight. And I think that people do struggle with this second generation. but I think that's the way it's supposed to be. You're supposed to have that. 

Alexandra: That's super fair.

And I think there's just like one other element of the second generation thing that I want to share, which is, I have siblings that work in the business and I feel like to some degree. Me needing to be a superstar success story. Is like 8 year old Alexandria needing to be better than her brother and sister in the eyes of her parents, you know, like, I really think like the little girl drives that and I've had a really cool shift, in my relationship with my siblings and probably the past 6 months or a year.

I think we may have touched up talked about this a little bit before, but just I've shifted from, you know, looking at how much I'm doing versus how much they're doing and blah, blah, blah. To like. All right, I was given a set of gifts by the universe and [00:14:00] I have this opportunity to build this company into something as big as humanly possible for all of our benefit together.

And I've stopped looking at, I'm working so hard and they're doing this and you know, this comparison thing. And it's now just reshifted to, I have a picture of the three of us on my wall being, you know, this was this thing that Doug created. I'm going to try and, you know, Do it for my siblings. And that's been amazing.

You're resentful or comparing or remember that you're the only one that's suffering. 

Barry: There was a, there's a quote says, comparison is the thief of joy. Remember who that was, but I was coaching a business owner a couple of years ago and I'm looking for it. There it is. And I just said this and we grab it.

He, I just said it to him, and I said, Comparison chips away at yourself worse, so when you compare yourself, you destroy yourself. Right? Little by little. He [00:15:00] sent me this. You know what I mean? Aww. I'm like, what a great thing, because, you know, he was comparing himself. And I'm like, well. Yeah, because you know, if you compare yourself, you're either, you know, if you ever heard the term leveling, 

Alexandra: yeah.

Barry: So, so leveling is when someone either tears other people down to make, to bring them down to their level. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: They build themselves up. Up so that they can get to the other person's level. Now, some people, I think they're super levelers. They tear people down and they build themselves up. Right. And so when you compare yourself, that's what you're doing.

you're trying to level. and you know, there's no blame, no shame. You and I have two different. Types of skill sets and their compliment or your brothers, your sisters, whatever, they have different types. But I do think that there's this thing where, you know, you're talking about, you know, kids who are [00:16:00] given, you know, there's an old saying that says people who have everything value, nothing, 

Alexandra: nothing.

Yep. 

Barry: And so there is this idea that I love and, Every successful person that I've met has this thing where they're like the eight year old girl who's trying to prove themselves Against their siblings. Yeah, like I don't know how healthy that is I don't want him to know I do know that it's very useful to 

Alexandra: a point 

Barry: It's when you get into your, you're like, I found it for me.

It's like I get into my mid thirties and I'm still doing that. It's going to keep me at that level of success. But then I switched to being abundance minded where I'm like, wait a minute, there's enough for us all. 

Alexandra: Yep. 

Barry: Right. Yep. So tell me how you made that shift, because obviously you have, and how did you do it?[00:17:00] 

Alexandra: You know,I wish I could say it was one specific thing, you know? Sure. But it's not, for me, the big internal shifts and personal growth that occurs is the culmination of. Whole lot of regular, hard internal work. And then all of a sudden, you know, and I'm doing this hard internal work on a daily basis and then a year, one day it's like, wow, like I didn't.

Think about that person in a negative way, or, you know, for me, like these spiritual growth moments are, you know, if I'm in line at the post office and I see there's a person training up front and the lines way backed up and I'm busy because it's lunchtime and I got to get back to work and like, I'm so important and that, but instead of going down that path, I have the thought pop into my head of, Oh man, this must be really hard for the person training.

They must feel so uncomfortable with this huge line of irritated looking [00:18:00] people, right? So my point is that I can, I had, I do all of this work and then I have moments like that where it's like, I grew, I'm different. You know, I've changed. And so this thing, you know, this particular example in my siblings, it's been, you know, years of work in therapy and, you know, all my practices.

And then one day it's like, I'm thinking about them differently. 

Barry: Yeah. 

Alexandra: So I can't really pinpoint. 

Barry: I was listening to this the other day. You said, well, I've changed. Right. I think a better word is I've grown. And the reason is because I was listening to this guy the other day. I listened to him all the time.

Chris, Chris Williamson, modern wisdom podcast. And it's really, you got to check it out, but he says, a lot of people will look at you and say, well, you've changed, like it's a negative thing because they don't have the language that you've [00:19:00] grown. 

Alexandra: Right. 

Barry: And another person said, well, this is a long time ago.

I heard this. He says, well, you don't think that I worked this hard to stay the same. Do you?

So you've obviously grown and went through this. And so now I'm hearing you, you no longer feel like you have to prove yourself in the regard to what, 

Alexandra: in regard to being Doug's daughter. And, you know, maybe that's, you know, personal internal growth and also, you know, Maybe there's just a level two of like, I have proven myself.

Our business is doing freaking awesome since I've been running it. You know, like I have a lot of peers that I have a lot of respect from in our industry. I have our financial statements that I look at every month that show me I'm doing a good job. And so maybe there's just, we've gotten to a point that I feel like I don't need to anymore.

I've been at this for almost, it'll be nine years in November. So maybe that's a component of it too. 

Barry: Yeah. I saw this shirt yesterday. It said, you are enough. 

Alexandra: [00:20:00] Yeah, absolutely. 

Barry: And so the, I just looked at the person wearing it, go, yes, I am enough. And just passed them. And he just smiles and like, you know, you could tell it made his day.

And, it's just an interesting thing. So, so like, yeah, Alexandra, you are enough. 

Alexandra: Yeah. And, you know, actually one mantra that I really love, that I'll use in times of insecurity is I am enough. I have enough. I do. I am enough. I have enough. I do enough. Right. Right. and that's the abundance mindset and it's, yeah, it just, it covers all the bases.

Barry: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And it's, but it also like, it's juxtaposed against, like you are enough, I still need to do something to give, right, to give value to the world. And so we all have this, I think most people, including myself, like this psychology of [00:21:00] not being enough creates so much friction.

Right. But, right. You know, what do we give the world? What is your sweet spot that, that helps you bring value to the world because you're enough? Yes. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: Yeah. Yeah. So where's the company going now? Like it's got a 50 year track record. 

Alexandra: Yeah. So I think where the company is going now, so we implemented EOS, a year and a few months ago, maybe 15 months ago.

And so for us, that, that has been a incredible process. And I would say where the company is growing now. Or growing. So maybe there's your answer is my Freudian slip. But, we are an organization that has become more narrow in our focus of really deciding who is the ideal person that values the unique Products and services that we are the best in the world.

And let's stop trying to be everything [00:22:00] to everybody and connect with those people. and so we've really tried to kind of pare down on the variety of products that we sell and support, so that we can have a crystal clear picture of what our unique value is to the marketplace and go find that audience that really values it.

So we plan to grow, by. Really, you know, nailing that down and then ramping up our sales and marketing efforts and, you know, so there's going to be organic, there's going to be growth through that, you know, net new customers, but also, focusing on taking really good care of our base, right? We have about 20, 000 customers and there's tremendous upgrade opportunity.

So I've implemented a, you know, using our customer service team to do these types of upgrades. so we're getting more RMR. Out of our reoccurring monthly revenue out of our existing base. and then the 3rd is really having our, you know, our financial processes locked down for appropriate rate increases [00:23:00] across our customer base.

well, of course, always keeping a very close eye on attrition reduction. So we're working hard to make sure that, you know, and we are. We have like 7 percent attrition, which our industry standard is closer to 12. So we already have very low attrition, which is great, but you know, continuing to double down there, there's awesome opportunity.

I, you know, I was looking at data the other day and found that out of our commercial cancellations, it actually turns out that like 90 percent of them are these kind of smaller customers, right? They pay us less than a hundred bucks a month. They're a single location. Those are super easy to save.

Right. So even though we already have low attrition, let's bring that number down even further, so that we can get to growth on the other side of, are you 

Barry: saying you want to keep a hold of those customers that are your highest cancellation rates? 

Alexandra: I'm saying that we have more opportunity. We have. A great opportunity [00:24:00] to save more of our customers from canceling, right?

So if you think about, I want us to be a growth organization and I highlighted the three ways that we're going to grow, right? We're going to do it through organic salad sales. We're going to do it through upgrading our existing base. We're going to do it through rate increases, but if we've got a big attrition number down here, customers canceling, we're not growing that much.

So looking to. Get better and better at reducing that attrition so we don't have as big of a nut to overcome to get back into growth. 

Barry: Do you have feedback? And if you do, and you don't want to share that's fine, but do you have feedback on why those smaller customers are canceling? 

Alexandra: Not it's, you know, it's, we track it, you know, it's competition, right?

they're getting phone calls from people all the time saying I can do it better, cheaper. they're, you know, moving out of the market there. you know, the number one reason actually why people cancel it for with our business. And I think it's fair to say this is across our industry [00:25:00] is I don't use my system, right?

I bought this thing. I thought I was going to use it, but I don't use it and I need to cut some costs. So I'm going to get, you know, I'm going to cancel. So that's the number one reason. 

Barry: Yeah. how do you make that sticky? How do you make people use it? 

Alexandra: Yeah, so, you get it on their iPhone. so you get them, you know, you make sure they're upgraded to newer technology so that they're not just turning their alarm on and off from their keypad, right?

You get them to with newer technology to system auto arms or disarms itself, or sends them a notification on their phone if they've left the house and they haven't armed it. You get them using, You know, you get cameras on their system. So now they're able to watch their kids playing in the pool when they're at work, you know, or you get them to get an electronic door.

So basically leverage new technology that they can get excited about and. Tell the story of you don't want to throw the baby out the bath water. You've already invested [00:26:00] in this thing. Let's do just a couple of quick upgrades to it to make it more user friendly and accessible to you. That's how you do it.

Barry: You know, you know, you just did that. I was thinking, cause I, you know, I have my own answers in my head and I am a face to face nose to nose, like human to human communicator. And I was like, Hey, you know, you could have a customer service thing. You could just call them and you're like, no technology.

And I'm like, Oh yeah, that's more scalable than what I had in my head. 

Alexandra: Well, but you need the customer 

Barry: service person to 

Alexandra: call them, to get them on the new technology platform. Right. 

Barry: Right. 

Alexandra: That's something you've got to share, but you have to change if they're not getting value out of the system because they don't use it.

You have to change the system so that they get value so that they will use it. Right. Add more onto it or remove whatever, you know, a lot of people it's like at, I mean, I am so bad at this, right? Like something will, [00:27:00] my printer will break right at the office and I will email somebody my documents that need to be printed for six months before I will go and fix the printer, right?

That's just my nature. It's weird. I get it. But the same thing with an alarm system. If it breaks and people are like, I can't deal with getting it fixed, then they don't use it. So you either change the system to add new technology. So they'll use it or you go and you fix whatever problem has been keeping them from using it.

So then they'll start using it again. 

Barry: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I would say that you don't need a customer service. You need a salesperson to call them. 

Yeah So many people are afraid of sales and you know I was at our meeting yesterday with the US Worldwide and somebody used the term who I respect Unsell and I'm like and what they mean is they don't want to come across as pushy 

Alexandra: You 

Barry: know a con artist and look me neither You Right.

So [00:28:00] people said, I don't want to come across as pushy. I'm like, well, they don't be pushy. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: I don't want to be salesy. What do you, what does that even mean? You know, and I know what the sentiment is and he says, unsell. I'm like, well, to unsell something is to convince somebody who's already chosen to buy, to not to buy.

Alexandra: Yeah. Don't 

Barry: do that. 

Alexandra: Definitely don't do that. I think, you know, when you say, I don't want to be salesy, the first thing that pops into my mind. abundance mindset. Here's what I mean by that. If I truly believe that I'm going to be okay, no matter what, right. Cause my soul's in a healthy place and I, you know, I just have faith.

Everything's going to be okay. I am not trying to sell someone so hard because I know That if I don't get this deal, I'm going to be okay. I've got, you know, a big enough pipeline. I work really hard, [00:29:00] I know. And so, if I believe that I'm going to be okay, no matter what, be able to provide for my family and blah, blah, blah.

I genuinely am showing up to that phone call in a consultative way and, you know, really trying to figure out what their problem is and if my solution fits their problem. And you know, if I'm not afraid of not getting the deal, then I'm going to ask the difficult questions to uncover the hidden objections that could keep me from closing the deal in a perfectly nice, friendly voice, you know, okay, you know, Barry, this is, you know, You know, typically at this point, you know, people have made a decision, you know, this is a 50 a month product.

And if they haven't, there's something about our product. It doesn't feel right to you. Like that's okay. Like what doesn't feel right to you? Right. Cause I'm not afraid of you saying no. So. I'll just ask these questions. I'll uncover the hidden objections. I'll address them and we'll close the deal. 

Barry: Yeah.

My favorite way to do that is to [00:30:00] upfront tell them, Hey, look at any time, this is a no, you know, you're an adult. I'm an adult. Just tell me no. And we'll still be friends. Is that okay? And they're like, yeah, and you've experienced this right with me. I'm like, well, no's no. And that's okay. We'll talk about it, but you know, sales really is, getting someone to make a decision that they already know they need to make.

And that's straight from Zig Ziglar, you know, I don't make up anything. I just use what works in the past and give them credit for what is used. And so there's a big difference between manipulation and influence. Yeah. Manipulation is to convince you to do something for my own bit. My benefit and influence is to convince you to do something that's your benefit And probably already [00:31:00] also benefits me.

Alexandra: Yeah. And that's 

Barry: okay. that is not, that's okay too. That is actually the best case scenario when it's mutually beneficial, but the person receiving the product or service is the driver of that without a manipulative person. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: And that's the difference when a con artist, And a salesperson.

Alexandra: Absolutely. 

Barry: Yeah. And so that, and I know why people, but another thing, Dr. Joyce brother said that you cannot consistently perform at a level that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. 

Alexandra: Yes. So there's a core, there's another,I can't think of the exact, but you know, it's around the idea of like, you'll only Receive as much as your, you know, your inner self thinks you're worthy of, or, you know, You know, it's something it's a really good one.

I can't quite think of it now. 

Barry: Yeah.

 Dr. Joyce brothers said

 [00:32:00] You cannot consistently perform at a level that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. 

Alexandra: Yep.

Barry: I've been using that for like 20 years. 

Alexandra: It's a good one. 

Barry: Oh yeah. It's so funny. I just repeat. Jeremy Bates said, rip off and duplicate R and D. And I know he ripped off and duplicated somebody else. Just this is how these things like, what's so funny is like, I showed you the thing and I'm glad my client sent it to me and I said it to him, but it was just a, a, a.

A different phrase of way. I phrased it from a different parents. Yes. 

Alexandra: We're just parrots. None of this is original content. 

Barry: And I love that. And when you think that you are, if you're an original person, like your ego is so big that you can't see outside yourself. Right. But yeah, I like the original 

Alexandra: thing.

Sorry to interrupt you, but the only original thing about it is like, we are like, I on my inside is going out into the world and [00:33:00] hearing something and saying, Oh yeah, like that resonates. That's true. And that's true to me. And that's true to me. And then I go forward. And when I encounter circumstances in my life where I'm like, Hey, that's like that thing.

And it comes out. So it's like, it's kind of going through. The filter 

Barry: of who we are. Yeah. You sure 

Alexandra: as heck didn't make it up. 

Barry: You're putting all the pieces together and making it your yours. Right. So earlier I said, future hesitators. Well, that's Tom Hopkins, right? So I'll use all these different leaders and put them together.

And then that's how I created my sales program is I just, all these things resonate with me. Here's my thing. here's my way of doing it. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: If you like my way, great. If you don't like my way, I'll introduce you to somebody else. 

Alexandra: Yeah, exactly. 

Barry: What a great word. And that's 

Alexandra: that abundance mindset again.

Like this is who I am, like. And having the level of comfort and confidence to say, like, this is who I am. And, you know, if there's, if I can add value here, [00:34:00] great. And if I can't, you know, that's cool too. I'm not for everybody. 

Barry: It's funny. You know, I, another implementer refor, referred me to someone, we're in the same marketplace.

He referred me to this other customer company because he's like, Barry, they're, they are, how do you put it? Yeah, they're, what was it? he didn't say rough. They are, anyway, it was around that, right? they're a lot. He's like, so you're the implementer that they need. Like, Hey, that's right.

Right. The part of 

Alexandra: your unique thing, 

Barry: unique ability is to like step into the danger and be okay, not being liked by you. I really do want you to like me if I respect you, but at the same time, like, I'm going to say stuff that, and we're going to experience each other and I'm not that invested in you not liking me.

And not everybody's built that way, you know, some people are built for conflict. And now when I let it, when I let my [00:35:00] ego drive that, I become arrogant and cold. Right. And that's no good. Right. Right. So this, you know, there's one, the shadow part of you, right? Your shadow is when you're angry and then you show up a certain way.

Yep. And so that's, that, that's interesting. Can I tell 

Alexandra: you a quote I heard yesterday that I love? it was, it's a podcast with this guy, Dr. James Hollis. And he quoted somebody. I have no idea who it was, but multiple centuries ago, basically saying like they were discussing the shadow self and in like the young man con context, but the shadow self, like basically this guy, 2000 years ago said, I am capable of every human emotion, like, of the human experience, like within each one of us.

We could be, we can do the worst things, or the best, and you know, it's within [00:36:00] us to, to figure out which way we're going to go with. Yeah, but that every, but the point being that like, everybody has a shadow side. Their shadow side is the parts of themselves that they feel are incongruent with their values.

And people, you know, reject that shadow side because it's uncomfortable. They don't want to think of themselves that way. But like the reality is every one of us has the capability to be the worst because we're all just human. 

Barry: Yeah. that's the one thing that like, I hope that people don't judge me on my worst day.

Cause now, and here's what I really caution people, you know, go around and speak, I do certain things and outside looking in, man, I can really look like I have no problemS.

Barry: It's really easy for me to hide my imperfections, you know, look outside in, it can look like you have everything together. You can Instagram post or whatever it is people do, but at the same time, man, like [00:37:00] everybody's human and everybody messes up and trying to have that heart of.

Seeing that person or another person for, with empathy is a lot of, it's hard to do, right? Yeah, that's good. So I think, you know, right now, what, what advice, you know, you've run this amazing company. what advice would you have for people? If you could go back and give yourself this advice, what would it be to other people to say, Hey, this is what.

we should, we could focus on. 

Alexandra: Have faith. Like have faith that you're going to be okay, no matter what. And that if you show up and work as hard as you can, when you're at work and you have an open mind and humility to take coaching from people, to ask other people for ideas, to believe that you don't know it all and to, you know, ask for help.

but just have faith that like [00:38:00] showing up and working your hardest. Like if you're doing the thing you're supposed to be doing, it's going to work out okay. You know, just get, lose your fear. There's just, it's, there's so much wasted energy and being afraid of not being enough or being afraid of failure.

And I don't mean this in like, everybody should start a business and like do your passion and, you know, like, I don't mean this in a, if you do the right thing, you're going to love work every day. Right? Like, that's not my truth. But just. Yeah. 

Barry: Yeah. Yeah. 

Alexandra: Trust the effort. you are, I, you know, if you're in the action business and you let the universe take care of the outcomes, you're in a good position, right?

Like you row the boat, trust that somebody's steering, trust it's a journey. And that journey is going to have high points and it's going to have low points and you're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days, but be present for all of it and just do your best and follow the path that Gets laid out before you, you know, don't, that's, I could go [00:39:00] on and on, but that would, that's my first reaction response.

Barry: It's so that I love that. And so what you said is not everybody should start a business. I actually rarely should people start a business, you know, to start a business, you gotta be great at sales.and not everybody is going to be, 

Alexandra: yeah, that's right. 

Barry: And so, you know, I was listening to somebody the other day and said, they said, do what you love and what you're good at.

Sometimes it's the same. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: Now I'm one of the lucky people who says what I'm good at and what I love is the same freaking thing. 

Alexandra: Yeah. 

Barry: But it's not always been that way. Yeah. So I was always good at sales. I can't tell you that I always loved it. Like, I fell in love with sales. 

Alexandra: Anyone who tells you they always love it is 

Barry: right.

Yeah, I did it enough that I got so good at it that I fell [00:40:00] in love with it. That's what happened. I was pretty good at it at the beginning, just pretty good. And then I liked it. It was sometimes I hated it. There was aspects that cold calling and door knocking. I hate that. And I don't know anybody who does.

And if they tell you they do, they're lying to themselves and you. And so. Do find something you love and do it and something you're good at and do it. Right. You're going to make money at what you're good at. You're, you may not what you make money at what you love. 

Alexandra: yeah, a hundred percent. 

Barry: Right. So that's good.

I love that. Well, Alexandra, it has been an absolute pleasure and, you know, you have a great day. Thank you for being on. 

Alexandra: Oh, thanks for having me. It's great getting to talk with you this morning.