IF 60 - Creating Unforgettable Moments and Building Systems

In this episode, Kenny continues discussing the book 'The Intentional Father,' focusing on the importance of preparing for impactful moments with your children. He shares personal reflections and interviews with guests like Aaron Leatherdale and Danny Bayliss, emphasizing the value of having a structured plan for raising kids. 

The episode also highlights the significance of intentionality in both personal and business life, including the host's own experiences with a life coach. Additionally, the host touches on current events, such as the election of Donald Trump, and provides practical advice on building meaningful connections and investment opportunities.

00:00 Introduction and Challenge

01:08 Overview of The Intentional Father

01:32 Election Reflections

02:08 Guest Interviews and Parenting Plans

04:01 Intentionality and Life Coaching

06:50 Power of Preparing for Moments

09:25 Reflections on Interviews

11:29 Encouragement and Business Insights

12:49 Riddles and Gratitude

13:47 Parenting and Video Game Break

15:55 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Beware the soul sucking power of reasonableness when applied to the power of moments. This was in the book, The Intentional Father, that I read this week, chapter nine, I believe. The power of preparing for moments. And my challenge, starting this episode, is going to be this. What's a moment that you can have with your son that will not be forgotten? That you can prepare for? All right. So today's episode is going to cover more of the intentional father book. I'm really enjoying. hopefully you guys are enjoying this walk with me. it's on hoopla. if you haven't started that book yet, go ahead and start it. It has so many good gold nuggets in there. wish I'm going slower just so I could write down more, but, pretty much doing a chapter or two each week. So we're going to go over that. And that's, what I already started talking about in the power moments. we had an election happen on Tuesday. November 5th, that was, I'd say somewhat historic, a historic day and a day. I was shocked that Trump won, to be honest, I had already come to grips that it would be. The other one and Lo and behold the American people chose Donald Trump. my son calls him Donald and Says that's just like Mickey Mouse and Donald. So it's funny when he just when we go to the president, he's Donald won? Donald won. And We had some really good guests interviews this week, A theme that I've been hearing, Aaron Leatherdale, Wayne's, Wayne Johnson. And then I just, interviewed a guy today named Danny Bayliss and it's that idea of having a plan, that they can pretty much spell out to me on how they're raising their kids or having some framework. duh, the title of this book that I'm reading is called The Intentional Father. And I think I'm just getting slapped in the face a couple different ways on what is your plan with your kid. what is the five F's, the five categories. what are you trying to use as a guide? so I'll reflect a little bit on, on some takeaways from those, those interviews. And, we had our first webinar that the OakIQ team put on. I think they probably had some in the past, but. we recorded one that I listened to today. It really was just Aaron and Caleb, the, heads of the company talking about, the state that we're in, as a nation in regards to the economies of the United States. So what I love about the interview, the webinar is you guys get to really know Caleb and, Caleb Edwards and. Aaron Leatherdale better, just their personalities. I think that's very helpful. any type of investment, I feel is there's a personal connection step that I would say 99 percent of all investors want to have. especially in the real estate world, of course, there's stocks and financial advisors that, maybe make things a little more, you Generic and vanilla, but, even a financial advisor, you're connected to that person and that helps you enjoy the experience. okay. let me start with the whole idea of intentionality. I hired a life coach recently to help me, with my systems and processes. Something that I have been needing help on. And that is that idea of time management, time blocking. Values, life mission, business mission. they all work together and transparently I've always struggled with having systems and processes in place in my life, in a way that keeps me on track and moving forward. versus prioritizing relationships with people and, somewhat going, unprepared into different meetings by just relying on my ability to quickly get up to speed with the person and, and move that relationship forward when I'm in front of them. But what I've learned is. If I am prepared in a more systematic approach to talking to more and more people and investors, I can impact more people, with these systems that are in place. So, my life coach, Justin's been a huge help for me in this. And another thing I think I've mentioned to you all before, but that idea of self awareness and Micah Brandenburg and other previous guests had said self awareness is the number one characteristic for leadership. And what I can apply this to my life is I know I struggle with self discipline, self actualization, getting out of bed on my own and just gritting my teeth and getting something done. It's one of my struggles. It's not a strong point of mind. However, a strength of mine is if I know someone is walking this path with me, I don't want to let that person down. And the accountability partner or coach, or, even cheerleader having someone with me in collaboration or walking side by side with me on something, completely changes the results of what happened in whatever it is I'm trying to do. so in the different buckets of life, finances, faith, marriage, fatherhood, if I know that there's someone with me doing this that I have to report to, or give some type of updates with. It completely changes how I go about it. So challenge for you all, if you are like me, and you've struggled with number one, building a system or plan, in your life, like a life plan, or you're struggling in a certain bucket, working out health, and you just need someone to be an accountability partner with you, find that buddy to help you and, or get a higher coach. in fact, if you need a recommendation, let me know. and we'll go from there. All right. let's just go right into the intentional father from that, because I feel like that ties in so well. So this chapter that I want to just give a few thoughts on, Power of Preparing for Moments, that initial starting point I did on the episode, I said, Beware the soul sucking force of reasonableness. This is a story that just jumped out at me. The guy says, author says, Hey, let's say your son has never had a Philly cheesesteak before. What could you do? One option could be, Hey, you know what? We're going to go to the mall. We're going to get a Philly cheesesteak. We're going to watch a movie afterwards and then come on home and that'll be a fun day. And the author says, Hey, you know what? that's not bad. That's a good swing. Maybe a single in regards to what it could have been. He says, What if instead you go to Philadelphia and, dress up nice and you get a hundred dollar Philly cheesesteak? and then, Afterwards you go to a Phillies game. And, you drive home afterwards. Or you go to a hotel or whatever. the whole point of the story was, The second one seemed completely unreasonable. we don't have money for that. That's overboard. But he says, you get one shot at this with your kids. And first Philly cheesesteak, you only have that once. and there's just the mindset there is how can you capitalize on these moments? And he lists 10 or so first for your son, first shave, first girlfriend, first time being exposed to porn. first time being exposed to racism, and maybe a few others, but, if you're not prepared for these things that are going to happen, you may lose an opportunity there. So, great chapter, and he even refers to another book called The Power of Moments. Chip and Dan Heath. This is a book I read a while ago, it's only six hours, six and a half hours on, on Audible, but it's that whole idea of just going above and beyond to create these moments. In our lives that are just unforgettable and in our children's lives. let that be a action item for you all. Number one, assess what are some moments I want to be ready for in whatever age your kids are at. And then, number two, just throw away the whole idea of reasonableness. And go for intentional intentionality, in making these out of this world memories with your kids that, they'll last forever. All right. and then let's just do some reflecting on some of these interviews I've had. Aaron Leatherdale, he has five boys and he talked, he was on the show recently. he just talked about, the different buckets that he wants to, develop his kids in. business slash entrepreneurship, spirituality, health, I think faith. and I can't remember the last one, but I guess my point is he had these already mapped out. And every Monday, I think he said he had a meeting with his family to go over these buckets and just have a, I think actually that's the first person I've heard say let's have a family meeting once a week. really cool idea. Take that as something another dad is doing. They work for you. and then today's interview with, Danny Bayless talked about the five F's and those F's were faith, Family, fitness, finance, and friendships. And he said that's in the order of importance, starting with faith, family, fitness, finance, friendships. So I thought that was really cool because number one, you can somewhat memorize that quickly because they're all F, but, he can refer back to that every day and say, what am I working on in these things? These are things that I think we're all doing in our heads, but taking that next step in writing it down or having some type of visual chart can be, I think, a, a level up for some of us. I know for me. So I'm excited about what I'm doing with my life coach and developing more of this. we've gone over like a self, the five voices of who you are. I was the nurturer, these personality tests that I'm sure most of us are aware of, but maybe you haven't done one in a while or yours has changed. and then he gave me a list of 30 or 40 different values and said like of these, which one, pick five. I'll be sharing more along those lines when those come out, but, just some things I'm working on. And maybe you can jump on this as well here's a word of encouragement, in regards to business stuff. So I've been challenged and encouraged to just stay the course and put your reps in and, trust the process. So one thing that happened this week was I got a call from somebody that it was a neighbor of a house that I had sold. This house needed a ton of fixing up and the house. Of the person who called me also had a house that was in shambles. in a kind of sub market here in Greenville, South Carolina. And, yeah, I passed away pretty much at the tail end of when I was selling this house and I had, knocked on the door a couple of times, but this guy had said, Hey, uncle passed away. We're trying to figure out what to do with the house. Are you're the first, you're the only person I've talked to about this. We don't really know what to do. We're thinking about maybe fixing it up and having me live there or potentially just selling it just as it is needs probably bulldozed in a new house built. this was a lead that I really hadn't talked to. And I think probably six months. I did have a good conversation with the family, when the death had happened, but, just that idea of. You never know what's going to happen with, as you make connections with people. And I think the key takeaway is just keep making connections with people. if you're faithful in the small things. They will pay off one day. whatever that is for you guys, keep it going. last week's riddle was, the more of me, the less you see. What am I? Answer to that is darkness. I don't know if you guys got that one or not. I would say that's one of the easier ones. next riddle that I'll give for you, this is one of my favorites. you stare at me, I stare at you. I have three eyes, but never blink. And you obey me with your hands and your feet. What am I? So this is, Kenny's Riddles that I started, I think about three weeks ago. And, I'll just keep going until I run out of riddles. guys, I really appreciate you all. I'm very thankful. Thankful for my wife. Thankful for our new president. Thankful for, this season. Really thankful for my kids. My son and I had a great time, disc golfing today. I'll share a quick takeaway that, Moses and I have been, we have what's called VG day. video game day. And that day is actually Tuesdays and Thursdays. So it's actually two days. and occasionally we've played on Saturdays, but what I've realized as a dad is my son's mental capacity is just getting wrapped up in these games. And I feel like it's really because of me, like we talk about it. I let him talk about it. He draws the pictures. He looks at the books. it's this is what I'm giving to him. So why wouldn't he, love it and somewhat obsessed over it. So my wife and I talked and we decided, you know what, we're going to just take a break on video games for a month. And instead of just doing nothing and thinking about not playing video games, we're going to try to instill some new habits or new hobbies in our Into his life or just get excited about other things. within, so this is only happening. We did this, we started this week. He has been great about it and, not all he, maybe he'll have some lapsing, relapsing, but, we played disc golf today and, really enjoyed that just one on one with him. Didn't necessarily have any deep conversations. But we just spent some time together and I think there was a few times where he threw it and he said something like, dad, was that a good throw? Or could you believe I did that? And I could just see that like affirming question and it's yeah, buddy, you're getting so good at this. And he really is. so anyway, something that we're learning and doing, but, yeah, that's been just something I've been thankful for. And, for those that are looking for some investment opportunities. Check out that webinar. I'm going to send a link on my, I'll see if I can put it on the show notes for here. I know it will be on my Facebook or Instagram or LinkedIn. um, I put both Caleb and Aaron on the show, so you can check those out to get to know them. But great team, great market, the Kansas City market, and, just a quick plug to check those out. All right, dads, you're awesome and you are the key to, the success of our futures, especially as we raise our kids. So keep at it. hopefully you're loving it. This is a calling. This is a role. Probably, it is the most important role you could have. you are setting your kids for the future and your kids are going to be impacting hundreds and thousands of millions of people. So lead well. I want to instill some seriousness in that and and just keep at it. thank you for what you're doing and enjoy your wife and your kids. Have a great weekend.