Beyond Bold

Five Lessons From 2024 That Will Transform Your Life in 2025

• Kyla Bolden

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Did 2024 feel like a year of growth and challenges? In this episode of Beyond Bold, Kyla Bolden reflects on the five biggest lessons she learned this year—and how you can apply them to make 2025 your most transformative year yet.

✨ Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • How to ditch a scarcity mindset and embrace abundance for true success.
  • The secret to living in “the gain” instead of “the gap” for sustained happiness.
  • Why reframing setbacks can unlock positivity and resilience.
  • Four simple agreements to live a balanced, grounded life.
  • A powerful trick to infuse gratitude into your daily routine.

Kyla gets candid about her personal experiences, from overextending herself in business to rethinking her goals and rediscovering the power of gratitude. With stories, practical tips, and inspiration, this episode is the perfect way to set the tone for 2025.

🎧 Tune in, take notes, and get ready to embrace boldness like never before!

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Speaker 1:

Hi everyone, it's Kyla Bolden and welcome back to the Beyond Bold podcast. Thank you so much for joining me here today again and, if you're new, welcome. I wanted to give just a little overview about what Beyond Bold is, just for those who don't know it, but I am a CEO and the founder of a tech startup. I've run my company for eight years and on Beyond Bold, we talk about all things on how to live a bold life on your own terms. Whether you are a CEO, a founder, somebody who wants to start their own business or somebody that really just wants to craft their own career in their life, this is the perfect podcast for you, and today we are going to talk about all of the lessons that I learned as a business owner and just as like a 28 year old girl who is going through life and trying to do their best and in hopes that it'll help you have a better 2025.

Speaker 1:

I am super excited for the new year. I feel like, if you're anything like me, 2024 was a good year, but it was a really long year and it was a lot of changes that happened, especially if you're in North America like we went through an election and then globally, with AI becoming more commercialized, changed a lot of things in business, and I think this year was a lot of being flexible, responding to changes, but also a lot of learning too, and I learned so much. And when thinking about what to do for this episode, I was first thinking about doing a goal setting episode, because I love to goal set, but I actually think I'm going to do that after the first quarter goal set, but I actually think I'm going to do that after the first quarter, and I wanted to do an episode that was more focused on what I learned and what I'm trying to take into 2024, or rather 2025. Sorry, it always takes me a little while to get used to the new year, and this was inspired by a few books that I read in December. So I read the Gap in the Game by Daniel Sullivan and the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, and I'm somebody who reads a lot of self-development books. Trust me, I read them, I listen to them, and it's very rare that I find a book that I'm like, oh my gosh, like this blew my mind, I did not know this right, and I'm not saying that I know everything, but if you're anything like me and I'm sure you've had this experience. You typically read a self-help book and you're like yeah, I knew this, okay, I'm going to start doing it now. Like now I have more reasons to do that. Like I think we all have a good idea, naturally, how to live a good, productive life, and the problem is is that we don't always do it. But, specifically, the book the Gap and the Gain taught me something so new and it really changed my perspective on goal setting and happiness, so I'm really excited to talk to you guys about that. I also learned a lot when it came to business and prospecting, and I wanna talk to you guys about that. And then I wanna talk to you guys about what I learned in the book the Four Agreements, and this really sums up everything, or rather the most important things I learned in the book the Four Agreements, and this really sums up everything, or rather the most important things I learned this year, and I'm hoping that you guys could take some of these things that I learned into your new year to have the best 2025 yet. So, without further ado, let's get into the four lessons I learned in 2024 that I really believe that if you guys take too hard, you are going to be able to level up in your business, in your personal life and just in your entire life in general.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so the first lesson I learned is the importance of having an abundance mindset and, more so, the importance of making sure you do not have a scarcity mindset and being really honest with yourself about if you do have a scarcity mindset. So, because if you would have asked me six months ago, kyla, do you have an abundance mindset? I was upset a hundred percent. In a lot of ways, I think that's true. I do very much have abundance mindset and what I think and like what I think is possible for me and all of those things. But I know this in my day-to-day life. I was really showing that in a lot of ways, I had a scarcity mindset, and when I was finally honest with myself, that's when a lot of things change.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, one of the biggest lessons I learned in 2024 was recognizing how much my scarcity mindset was holding me back, and this is not just professionally, but personally too. I realized I was overextending myself in so many ways, and I noticed this because I was not honoring my boundaries at all, and when you notice that you have boundaries and you're consistently breaking them. Oftentimes scarcity is the cause of that and it was affecting everything my sleep, my workouts, my overall balance, my work, everything. So, for example, I know how important rest is to me and I'm sure it's important to all of you guys too, and I was always somebody that worked really hard and you know I used to be really, really good about my sleep. But in the last couple of years I haven't been that good and, honestly, the second half of this year I found myself pulling multiple all-nighters every single week. No joke, like most weeks, I would pull two all-nighters on average, sometimes even three, definitely one every single week, and I was often staying up and doing these multiple O-Liders and going above and beyond for clients, often doing more than they paid for, even X.

Speaker 1:

Because when I really thought about it and, like you know, looked inward, I was afraid of missing out on the next opportunity. I thought to myself, like what if there's no more clients? Like no more clients come, which is silly, because they always come or, um, what if, like, I missed out on this opportunity? And uh, here's the thing, opportunities always come. But that was the scarcity mindset talking to me. Um, and I was oftentimes finding myself like giving bigger discounts that I needed to, and that was a boundary that I really didn't like how much.

Speaker 1:

I crossed that boundary this year and the same thing showed up in my personal life. I found myself pouring into friendships or people that weren't reciprocating the same energy back that I wanted, and it was like in fear of losing those connections. Because I live in Toronto most of the time and if you live in Toronto, it's very, very common A lot of people say that Toronto is a hard place to meet people, make new friends and things like that. So I felt like I was holding onto connections that I didn't need to hold on so tightly. And now I know this is all due to my scarcity mindset that I had. So what I learned is having abundance mindset is really really key. It's about trusting that there's always more out there, more clients, more friendships, more opportunities, and that you don't have to sacrifice your well-being or your values to make it happen. When I started like letting go of that fear of oh my gosh, like what if, like, this person doesn't show up, or what if this client isn't happy, or what if it takes me longer to get this, or etc. Etc. I really was able to lean more into abundance and I not only feel better, but I started attracting the right opportunities and people into my life. And it's a learning lesson, I think.

Speaker 1:

As humans, we are wired to like look for the danger, and that's why it's so easy to develop a scarcity mindset. You find yourself not respecting your boundaries, ask yourself why, and a lot of times that's due to your scarcity mindset. And so then what you do is you look at that scarcity, think about is it true? And a lot of times you know there's no validity of you believing in a scarcity mindset, like this world is truly abundant. So when you get down to the crux of it, you realize it's false. And just reminding yourself okay, how can I switch this mindset, this opportunity, false? And just reminding yourself okay, how can I switch this mindset, this opportunity, this situation I'm into, to look at it from abundance perspective. So, yeah, that was the first lesson I learned Like, always make sure you're having abundance mindset in everything, and scarcity is really really literally poison it. Avoid it in any sense.

Speaker 1:

So the second lesson that I learned was the importance of always living your life through the gain perspective rather than the gap, and this is from a book that I read by Daniel Sullivan called the Gap in the Gain, and this book really, really did change my thinking and really helped me understand myself better. So the Gap in the the gain is all about the fact that oftentimes, high achievers live in the gap, which is where they think they should be, and it's important to live in the gain, which is all that you've accomplished, all that you've done. Looking at all that you've achieved in the last 30 days, 90 days a year, and looking back at all what you gained and seeing your progress, and why a lot of high achievers oftentimes live in the gap is because we set our goals as ideals rather than tangible goals that are necessary to get from point A to point B. I'll give you a classic example.

Speaker 1:

I used to be an athlete I still am an athlete, I would say, but I used to run track and I ran it at a really high level. I won states, national championships, et cetera, and so when I would make my goals for the seasons, my goal would never be to win states. My goal would be win states, get a personal best and break a school record. So when I won states, it didn't feel like a success because I'm like I didn't get a personal best and I didn't break a school record, and that is something that we do as high achievers all the time, and it sets yourself up for failure, honestly. So it's really important to look at when you're goal setting, thinking about, like, is this ideal or is this actually like a goal that gets me from point A to point B and is something that is not something that will happen in a perfect, perfect world, because really, at the end of the day, when you're running the race, the goal is to win the race. You know and like, yes, you want the personal best, yes, you want to break a record, but like, those things are just like added bonuses and it puts too much pressure on yourself and it makes you feel like, when you've actually achieved winning the race, that you didn't actually reach your goals.

Speaker 1:

And I think you know I wanted to give the race example because that's something that I found, that I did since I was a kid and it shows up in my life now, but it really shows up in our lives in so many different ways, but it really shows up in our lives in so many different ways. And so one of the things I'm saying really committed to is staying in the game, which is when you look back 30 days, 90 days a year, and say, okay, what is all the things that I've accomplished? How far have I come? So even if, like you say, like, your goal is to make, like you know, let's say your goal was to make $200,000, right, and you made $180,000, you don't go oh, I didn't make $200,000. You say I made $180,000, right, like.

Speaker 1:

That is living in the game and to put yourself in a like a positive mindset, and it also makes it a lot easier for you to achieve your goals because you are recognizing that you are progressing. So living in the game is something that I'm really committed to. It really opened my eyes as to why I'm often not proud of myself as much as I should be and like why, even this year, I've accomplished so much and it didn't feel like I accomplished a lot and it's because my goals were really ideals and I was consistently living in the gap of like okay, I did this, but like, honestly, I could be doing so much more. Right, and that is a way for you to be honestly, internally, not proud of yourself and happy. So that is something that really just like changed my thinking, because I've always wondered I've achieved so much, but why don't I sometimes feel like I've achieved a lot? And it's because I live in the gap a lot of times. So I'm really, really focused on making sure I live in that gain that you always live in.

Speaker 1:

The gain is at the end of the day, write down three wins for that day. Just do it in your planner. At the end of the month, write down all the wins you've had in the month and like how much you progressed. And at the end of each quarter, do that the same way and like really just try to focus on how far you've come and don't worry about as much of the things that you haven't achieved. You are a high achiever anyway. You're going to achieve high things. Like you don't have to worry about the fact that you're complacent, because chances are, if you listen to this podcast, you're not somebody who isn't a hard worker and you're not somebody who is complacent, right. But I really truly believe, and like science has showed this, like read Daniel Savo in his books. He is amazing. Looking at your progress will help you get to where you want, to be quicker and make you happier, right? So, um, yeah, that is the second lesson I learned always making sure you're in the gain rather than the gap.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so the third lesson I learned this year is that you are in charge of your memories and it is your duty to view them through a positive perspective. So this actually came from a book that I read last year, and it was a book by Joe Dispenza, but basically he talks about how 50% of our memories are false. Like us, as humans, do a really poor job of memorizing and remembering how things happen right, and because of that, why not view everything through a positive perspective than a negative perspective? Like your brain really does not know the difference. This is why and I'm not sure if this happened to you before, but it's happened to me I sometimes remember things that literally did not happen to me as a kid. Or my mom always tells me this story about how she, I think, remembers going to a circus as a child, but actually her brother went to the circus and her memory is actually of her brother telling her about the All of that. To say, we do not remember things very well, so why not remember it from a positive perspective rather than a negative perspective, and how you do that is actually through viewing any challenge that you're going through as a learning lesson.

Speaker 1:

I think it's easy, especially as an entrepreneur, when you like have like bad meetings or you have bad quarters or you just have like have these like really tough experience. I mean like a lot of it came from raising capital for me, but, like I think any person that builds their own business has gone through like a lot of hardship sometimes, and as an entrepreneur, it's really easy to just be like OK, like on to the next thing, like I got to keep going. Anyone really who is working hard in their career. Like they have a really awful meeting with a client and they're like okay, like just gonna push it aside and move on to the next, move on to the next. And for a while I was like that too, but I wasn't really dealing with those experiences and they were just buried in my brain as negative emotions and they were affecting the way I was moving about this world.

Speaker 1:

And the key is is to not just like push things to the side. Is to not just like push things to the side is to look at your past and think, okay, how could this be a positive. What is the learning lesson Like? How could I look at this differently? And once you figure it out how to frame that thing in a positive light, then you can move on and that is really the way you make progress, rather than just like pushing these experiences to the side. You really need to look at your experiences and think okay, I'm in charge of my memories. How can I frame this as a positive experience?

Speaker 1:

And really honestly, I think one of the truest things about life is like give anything enough time you're thankful for it happening, even the things that you cried about, the things that you really wanted to get but didn't get. Like give it enough time and like you would be thankful that it didn't show up in your life, because one of the things that I believe is that if it's not for me, I don't want it, and like I get everything that is for me right. So really, that is one of the key lessons I learned this year making sure that you look at every experience that you have had in the past and not just push it aside. Make sure that you are looking at the experience as a positive experience in some way. Find the positive, because that's going to allow you to move on from things a lot quicker and it's ultimately just going to, like make you build your winner's story in your mind, which is so important for achieving big things. You can't look at your past and be like that happened and that wasn't fair, and this happened and that hurt me, like that's just going to drag you down too much. So, in order to build your winter stories, take charge of your memories and know that everything that happened in the past was a positive, because it got you to the point that you are now. So that is the third lesson I learned.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and now the fourth lesson I learned was really a set of lessons I learned from this book called the Four Ingredients by Miguel Ruiz. It was a really good book, mostly because it was really simple. Again, like, this book wasn't mind blowing, like the gap in the game. This book really taught me things I already knew, but I thought it was just a really easy way to go about life and like things to remember, and if I remember these four things consistently, I'm gonna be a lot happier than I already am now, and so I wanted to tell you guys about it. So I'm just gonna read you the four agreements.

Speaker 1:

And so the first one and like these are ways to live your life is be impeccable with your words, which means don't say anything that you don't wanna come true. Don't gossip. Like in the Bible says life and death is in the power of the tongue. Like it's really important not to say things out loud that are negative. Don't talk about yourself in ways that you wouldn't talk about somebody else. Like be kind to yourself and use your words as something that have power. So every time you speak, make sure you're speaking life rather than death.

Speaker 1:

The second one is don't take anything personally. I love this one because sometimes, like rather, you're driving and someone gets road rage with you and it really hurts your spirit, or you're in a business call and somebody's really off-handed to you or a customer's really rude to you. In a lot of ways it's really easy to take things personally, especially if you're an entrepreneur or somebody driving hard in their career. Oftentimes you face situations and have conversations in which people could be like really awful right, but realize like, don't take anything personally. That is really about something else that's going on in your life. Especially if you don't know the person, chances are them getting mad at you has nothing to do with you. So don't take anything personally.

Speaker 1:

The third one is don't make assumptions. This is really important. We all know the old saying assuming is making an ass out of you and me. It's really really true. If somebody hasn't told you they feel this way, don't assume they do right. Don't assume people are mad at you and people aren't mad at you. Don't assume somebody knows what you're thinking if you haven't told them right. I think not assuming is super important to have healthy relationships and just also being happy. I think we've all been in situations where we thought somebody has been mad at us and they haven't. But like, you've built it up in your head right? So never assume. And then the fourth one is always do your best. Now, a lot of us do these things naturally often, but like, I think, having a reminder of making sure to live your life by these four agreements, it's just like a really easy way to just like level up your life right. So the four agreements was a great book. I don't necessarily think you need to read it, to be honest, but these four rules which is be impeccable with your words don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. They're just four ways to live your life really, really well. Okay, so I know I said I was going to do four learning lessons of 2024, but I honestly have a fifth one that I have to share, and it's about gratitude.

Speaker 1:

I am somebody that practices gratitude a lot and I'm always looking for new ways to be able to infuse gratitude more in my life, and I think oftentimes, when life gets challenging, it is kind of hard to like find the happiness in certain situations, right, like, sometimes the situation just sucks. But I actually learned this tip from the book the Gap and the Gain, and it's the easiest way to like make yourself be happy and grateful for the life you have and for the things that you have when you are complaining, is to imagine yourself without that thing. For instance, towards the end of the year, I got a pinched nerve in my leg, which was really just not fun, and I'm somebody that loves to do a lot of running and it was hard and I felt myself complaining about it a lot. And the way to stop complaining rather than like be like, oh, I'm grateful for the pinched nerve in your leg you could say okay, like imagine your life without your leg, and that will stop your complaining immediately. And you could use this in so many different ways throughout your life.

Speaker 1:

So let's say you're complaining about a family member. Imagine your life without that family member. You're complaining about a customer. Imagine your life without your customer. Like, at the end of the day, you want the money, so, like imagine your life without that money. You're complaining about your job. Imagine your life without a job. Right, it's a really easy way to like nip complaining right in the bud before you go down the spiral of like whoa, it's me and my life sucks and such and such. And it's an easy way to not like lie to yourself. Sometimes I find it hard when, like something negative happens and you like have to find like gratitude in it, and oftentimes you will find the gratitude as time passes. But a really easy way to just like stop yourself from like going down that negativity hill is just be like okay, what if I didn't have X? That's a lot worse. And keep it pushing. Like, okay, imagine yourself without a car, you know. So that is a really, really simple way to live a life with more gratitude and happiness. So that is a quick tip that, like I really think everyone should implement into their lives. So those are the five biggest lessons that I learned in 2024 that I'm going to be taking into 2025. I have a really good feeling about this upcoming year. I'm really excited to take these lessons I learned and really be able to transform my life even more for the better in the upcoming years.

Speaker 1:

So just to go over what we talked about scarcity is poison. Make sure that you do not have a scarcity mindset and be honest with yourself. If you do have a scarcity mindset and oftentimes if you find yourself like neglecting your boundaries or letting go of your boundaries, that is typically because of a scarcity mindset. So that was the first lesson. The second lesson is always live in the gain rather than the gap. So the gap is where you think you could be, where you should be, and the gain is all the things that you've achieved, all the ways that you progress. So live your life through the eyes of the gain and then also within that is making sure that your goals are not ideal, set like real, tangible, necessary goals rather than like ideal goals. And side note, that is not telling yourself to not think big, but it's really just making sure that when you do achieve that goal, it's not tarnished because you only thought that you could achieve it in that exact way, and if you don't achieve it in that exact way, and if you don't achieve it in that exact way, it's a failure.

Speaker 1:

The third one is making sure that you view all your past through a positive perspective. Like I said, humans remember 50% of things wrong and it's really up to you, it is your duty as a positive, balanced, healthy, successful person, to look at your past in a positive light and then also, within that, making sure that when you go through difficult situations, you don't just push it aside. You actually examine that situation and look for the lesson in it, look to see how you can find the positive in it, which is the lesson, and then you're able to actually move on and let go. The fourth lessons were from the four agreements, which were be impeccable with your words. Don't take anything personally, never assume and always do your best. Those are things that I think a lot of us already do, but having them distilled into those four rules, those four agreements, it's just a really easy thing to remember on a daily basis.

Speaker 1:

And the fifth thing was all around gratitude, the easy way to stop complaining is thinking about your life without that thing. Gratitude is everything, and the more gratitude you have in life, the more successful you will be. So those are the five most important things I learned this year. I am hoping and praying that this year is all that you imagined and more, and I hope you guys have an amazing 2025. And lastly, before I go, please make sure to subscribe to this podcast wherever you are listening to it, whether it's on YouTube, subscribe. If you're on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, please follow it and download. It helps. So so much and leave a comment. Give it five stars and tell me what you'd like me to speak about next. Like I said, have an amazing new year. I'm praying that this new year is the best ever, and thanks for listening.

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