The Clutter Conversations
A podcast for anyone who has ever dealt with clutter, personally or professionally.
The Clutter Conversations
Mastering School Mornings: Building Independence Through Routine
How can you transform chaotic school mornings into a serene start to the day? Join us on this heartwarming episode of Clutter Conversations, where my youngest child, Lydia, an eighth-grader, and I unravel the secrets behind effective morning routines. Lydia offers a candid glimpse into her morning, relying on both my 6:30 AM wake-up calls and her trusty Alexa device. We stress the importance of kids taking charge of their mornings gradually, helping parents ease their children into self-sufficient habits that build over time.
As we gear up for a new school year and my middle kid’s earlier start time, the episode delves into how established morning rituals can make all the difference. From the importance of early wake-ups, enjoying a peaceful coffee, and pet care to getting ready efficiently, we cover it all. Lydia and I also discuss the intricacies of managing schoolwork, preparing backpacks, and handling unexpected tech issues like a faulty laptop charger. We reflect on how diligent study habits, older siblings, and homeschooling have positively shaped academic discipline.
The episode wraps up with a powerful discussion on fostering independence from a young age. Lydia shares how gaining responsibility has made her more efficient over the years. We explore the challenges she faced in her younger years and how those experiences contributed to her growth. By nurturing these skills early, we aim to pave the way for a more prepared and self-reliant future for our children. Listen in for practical tips, heartfelt reflections, and inspiring moments that will motivate both parents and kids to embrace a smoother start to their day.
For more information or to schedule a FREE consult call with Katie, be sure to check out KCH Organizers!
Katie Hoshauer. Hello friends, Welcome back to the Clutter Conversations, a podcast for anybody who's ever dealt with clutter personally or professionally. I'm your host, Katie Hoshauer. Today is a special day. It has been a long time coming to have the guest that is going to grace our presence today. I've been on it before. Oh, I mean, I do get a lot of great feedback and you're not bad to look at across the way, but this other guest is. It ranks up pretty high in the conversation sphere for me, especially because school is starting soon and I know a lot of parents out there are like, oh, school is starting soon. Or they're like good, go away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't identify with that first one at all. Well, the morning rush is so overwhelming sometimes, especially if you have issues with any kind of change in routine, so I had this very special guest on this show so that we could talk a little bit about what the morning hustle looks like in the morning before school.
Speaker 2:Did you get her to sign an NDA or anything? So she can't go on other podcasts and try to become famous?
Speaker 1:I'd be okay if she went on other podcasts and became famous Okay. I mean, she's pretty cute to boot, so it might be more YouTube channel appropriate so people can talk about how—.
Speaker 2:Oh God, let's not put that in her brain, Please Come on.
Speaker 1:No, but she and I have had this conversation before. Come on. No, but we she and I have had this conversation before. As I, when I have one of these clutter conversations, I have one before we actually schedule the interview, and it's a great topic and it was really engaging and clarifying and fun to have this conversation with this particular human being I don't really want to say who it is?
Speaker 2:I know it's not you. Oh, whatever, I was wondering how much you're going to build it up before you just introduce the guest. Or do you want to just get to it?
Speaker 1:I do introduce her in the podcast episode the interview itself. I will have a little disclaimer that I did not have my handsome hubby with me as my editor and producer extraordinaire, so we just kind of were flying by the seat of our pants, and so the audio may not be as wonderful. You might hear some tick, tick, tick, tick, ticks of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's, there's some. I listened to a little bit of it to make sure everything was, you know, volume wise and consistent, and there was some tapping that yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what happens when you have uh special guests on but I will tell you that this special guest I was able to interview while sitting on my bed with them.
Speaker 2:Take it away, and it's not you, I know my god, I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Speaker 1:I hope you guys enjoy this. I have a very special guest with me here today on the Clutter Conversations. But before I introduce this very special guest, I just want to acknowledge the fact that summer is coming to an end. To an end, sad face, and with that means extracurricular activities and getting up to an alarm and getting the kids ready and fed and, you know, at least presentable, and in the car and to school on time, and all of the chaos that happens in a school morning, and I feel like the best person to ask about that would be one of my kids. So please welcome my entering eighth grade student. Say hi to Lydia, everybody. Lydia, say hi to everybody.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody.
Speaker 1:That was a great intro. We've already had a little bit of this conversation and, um, I'm I'm really eager for the audience to be able to hear what it's like from a kid's perspective, and I know that as a mom it's really hard sometimes to let go of some of the responsibility of getting the kids shuffled. I will say Lydia is my youngest kid, so that kind of tells you something. She'll be 13 in August and so I have been working with my kids for a very long time to be able to get to this point. Some people may listen to this episode and say, wow, my 13 year old could never do that. But you just have to start small.
Speaker 1:We didn't start out in the way that Lydia is going to share with us what her morning routine looks like. And when I say morning routine, lydia has her own morning routine, just like I have my own morning routine and my other kids have their own morning routine. And the more that you can take ownership and responsibility for that morning routine, the more fluid and peaceful life can be. And it's not just the morning before school routine, it's also getting ready for bed and coming home from school. But that's a different episode for a different time. Maybe we'll have Lydia back on. But Lydia, why don't you tell us a little bit about what your morning routine looks like when you're starting school? First question do you wake up to an alarm?
Speaker 2:No, I do not. My mom wakes me up.
Speaker 1:What time do I wake you up?
Speaker 2:About 6.30, but sometimes if I need to take a shower or something like that, then I would set an alarm for 6 o'clock, 6.15.
Speaker 1:Yeah, lydia has an Alexa Excuse me, I just said the word with one in the room. It's probably she didn't hear me. Anyway, she has one of those devices and when she needs to get up early she just sets her own alarm for those times. Otherwise, she does depend on us to be able to wake her up gently. I don't throw water on her or anything, right? No, no, although we are a week and a half away from starting the eighth grade and I think that more often you're going to be getting.
Speaker 2:You're going to splash water in my face.
Speaker 1:Don't give me any ideas. I hope your dad doesn't listen to this, because he might actually do that. I can see him doing that, I know no. But I think that it might be a good time for you to start taking responsibility of getting up on time. If you don't get up on time, I can help you, you know? Hey, babe, it's, you know, 630.
Speaker 2:You still get Josie up, and I think that it's. I think that it's still working how it is, and also my alarm has not been going off recently when I have been waking up for yeah, we'll have to troubleshoot that and make sure that it's all working. It actually works yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm going to give technology a little bit of that parenting bit, but it is time. I've always wanted Josie to be getting herself up for a number of years, but it was hard because I was already coming in. You guys used to share a room so I was already coming in to get you. It was a part of my morning routine, which starts at 6 am. My alarm goes off at 6 am and I get a cup of coffee, have a cup of coffee in bed, let the dogs out feed them and then between 6.15 and 6.30, I knew it was time to wake you guys up. But with a new school year we also kind of have to reevaluate some of how we approach the morning, like the aspects of like Well, like the hours, josie starts school at 7 am, not 8.15 anymore. That's going to change a lot.
Speaker 1:That is going to change some stuff because for me I don't want to have to take and pick up. So we're trying to work around what that might look like. It's much easier to figure out what feels right and works when we're actually in it. So I'm giving a little bit of grace to that. But tell me, so you wake up or are woken up by a certain time, that you know I can take a shower. If I need to get up at 6.15, I need to take a shower. If not, I can get up at 6.30.
Speaker 2:And then what Usually after that I'll like, like, put on like clothes, I'll do my makeup and which, like I used to have to get up at 6.15 because I wasn't as used to doing makeup, because at the beginning of seventh grade it took me a lot longer to do my makeup, and now I'm down to like 10, 15 minutes. Practice makes perfect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also like that you can quantify how long it takes you. Like that you can quantify how long it takes you, because then it can say well, I know I'm going to want to take a little extra time on my makeup, so I better wake up a little bit earlier, if there's like some special event that you want to be able to like, picture day, for example. I want to spend extra time on my hair and my makeup for that one specific day, but generally speaking it's 10 or 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:We're not doing anything crazy with makeup or anything. The weekends are a good time to experiment with that. Yeah, so, and then tell me what happens. You're you're ready to face the day. I wonder if that's where that phrase comes from, but you're ready to face the day. I wonder if that's where that phrase comes from, but you're ready to face the day, then what?
Speaker 2:um, usually then it's probably seven o'clock ish, um, so I like pack my backpack, which has taken less time, because I used to like take out a bunch of stuff and then have to put it all back in, and now it's just like take out my computer and like unplug it and like put it in my backpack and fill up my water bottle, and that's pretty much it, unless I've done homework, which is not usually the case, because I finish it at school.
Speaker 1:Boy, I really wish I was still in the eighth grade because I had a lot of homework. You guys never come home with homework. I'm like, because we get it all done at school. That was not even a thing when I was a kid, and guys comment wherever you're finding this or like find me on the clutter conversations on Facebook and tell me did you have homework as a?
Speaker 2:kid, we have homework Just in like math. We would get like 10 minutes and that's all I need like at most. One time it took me a minute to finish my math homework.
Speaker 1:Is that because you only take that amount of time?
Speaker 2:Like no, that's because of me. Some of the kids take hours to do their homework and I'm just kind of on top of things, cause I would think that you wouldn't be like.
Speaker 1:you're a very good student. All three of my kids are diligent students and I'm going to take a little credit for that. I I did homeschool them for five years, so I'm like you know what.
Speaker 2:I was in the first grade, mom.
Speaker 1:We don't need to tell people about that, but you have had a good example from your older sisters, from our exchange student Kiara, to see what being a diligent student looks like, and part of that is getting ready for doing your homework before it's actually at home right. Yeah, so how long back to getting your backpack back to your morning routine? How long does getting your backpack ready take?
Speaker 2:long does getting your backpack ready take? I'd say five minutes. I mean, sometimes I need to let my computer charge for extra time, because sometimes it just doesn't charge fast for some reason. So sometimes I'll put my computer in my bag right before we leave.
Speaker 1:Can we just call something out real quick? I don't know what is it. I'm pretty sure that the nights that your computer quote unquote doesn't charge fast enough. No, no I know you have been on your computer.
Speaker 2:No, no, my internet turns off at 8.15.
Speaker 1:And it actually turns it off. So like you can't, because you are wildly smart and you have hacked the system on numerous occasions. That also is another podcast episode.
Speaker 2:I can teach you at home.
Speaker 1:DIY how to pull one over on your parents.
Speaker 2:Hashtag loophole Lydia Loophole.
Speaker 1:Lydia, I'm good at what I do, she is good at what she does, um okay, so you're saying that it's not because of that? I don't understand how your computer could be charging all night and sometimes I, I know, uh, it's well.
Speaker 2:First of all um the original computer charger that I had, um dogs chewed up, yeah, so that doesn't work. So I'm using like one of dad's don't tell him he's gonna listen to this. Oh, I am not using one of dad's just one I randomly found on the street yeah, yeah, let's go with that. Um, okay, but it just like doesn't charge as fast that that may be the case.
Speaker 1:But another way to make sure that we're not having that like well, sometimes it's charged and sometimes it's not, is how. How could we possibly make it so that we know that it's charged in the morning?
Speaker 2:Don't use it as much.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't use that's not what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:I don't really know what you're asking.
Speaker 1:Plug it in the night before. Well, that's what I do, not always. Sometimes not always, and sometimes it's because you've had it taken away from you.
Speaker 2:Go on. Um, I used to charge my computer down next to your bed and that's what that's the charger that dad uses for his earplugs. So he would unplug my computer and plug in his earplug things, and that's why it wouldn't charge, and then in the morning he would plug it back in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then it's not fully it hasn't been sitting there all night, yeah, which is funny because his earplugs don't charge all night.
Speaker 2:Well, he's asleep for the silver disc thing. I know, I know.
Speaker 1:He doesn't leave that plugged in at night. So your computer could be plugged in at night. That is not. But this is all a part of figuring out how your routine can match with dad's routine so that there's harmony in those two needs, whether it's a dedicated plug for your computer or a dedicated plug, not dad's. You know earbud charging thing, but that's a great example of how working together to figure out what is the solution. Where we both have a charging need, how can we make sure that we are both prepared for those charging needs so that the things are charged right? Because you need your computer charged in the morning and dad wants his earbuds charged at night. So in my head I'm like he charges his thing in the morning and you charge yours overnight. That just makes sense to me. But that's just me. You know the productivity professional, but you know I'm not. I'm not going to do my own.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think I'm sensing what you're doing here. Okay, but hold on. Hold on. Now that I've moved into Faith's room, she left behind a charger.
Speaker 1:Wonderful.
Speaker 2:That I can use for my computer. Okay, so now it's different this year than it was last year.
Speaker 1:Well, isn't that great. So every what did? I already say that we need to kind of reevaluate things as situations change. Like Lydia just said, she just moved into her older sister's bedroom because her older sister is going off to college and so she has the more plugs available to her, she has more device charging things available to her and as she gets older and more mature and able to appropriately use these things, she gets more access to those things.
Speaker 1:Year, maybe even every six months, where you know we have our winter break and maybe we reevaluate what that routine looks like, based on what the kids are able to do, what we've been working on, like this upcoming year, we're going to work on Lydia setting her own and Josie, her sophomore sister, setting an alarm to wake themselves up. I can be the support, but I am not the one responsible, because I'm not. As my mother-in-law would have said, I'm not raising children, I am raising adults and this is one of those things. If they want to show up on time, which is important to both of them. They both like to be on time, which that comes deeply rooted from me.
Speaker 2:You're giving yourself a lot of credit here, man, I mean.
Speaker 1:I'm your mom. I taught you a lot of what you do, and what I love about your routine we're bringing it back to Lydia's routine is that you have taken what I have taught you, what dad has helped teach you, but I've had most of the time with you in the mornings and you have applied that to saying I can now take ownership of that. I can now get myself ready. I can now make sure that I'm dressed to shoes. I can now make sure that my hair and teeth are brushed. I can now make sure that I have eaten a very large, healthy breakfast and cleaned up after myself every morning.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Sure, so you have finished getting dressed, getting ready, putting your beautiful face, getting it ready for the world as you are comfortable with. You have gotten your backpack ready. So academically you are ready. How are you doing on the nourishing your brain part? Of your morning routine. What does that look like?
Speaker 2:I'm laughing at what position you're in right now. So I'm laughing at what position you're in right now. So I don't usually eat breakfast, like in the morning, because at like need the food until 1015, which is when brunch is Um and uh. So, especially cause I had PE first period, um, first and second period, cause they kind of switched in the middle of the year, but in the early periods of the day I was in PE and usually you need to like feel your body and like have energy to like run, but I kind of like trained myself so I don't need that as much.
Speaker 1:So I'm it's kind of hard to explain Well, I think if any other parents of teenager teenage girls specifically, I'm sure that it's different for boys they have all the boys I've ever known and I'm not trying to put it to one gender or another, but all the boys that I've ever known are ravenous all the time. That's pretty much in my experience. That is the norm that I've seen. But I have three teenage girls, so that is my experience on the everyday. And I was also a teenage girl and I remember being like I don't need breakfast, I just I'd rather spend that time getting my makeup on, I would rather spend that time doing my hair.
Speaker 1:But one thing when we were having this kind of pre-conversation, lydia and I, we were talking about that reevaluation of those current needs. And yes, she had PE and she kind of trained her body last year to need it just at brunch time. But the reevaluation if she has math or science or English at the beginning of the day and she's going at it still shaking off the sleepies. I hate it when the kids say I'm tired when they wake up. No, you're just not awake yet. You're not tired unless you really haven't slept all night, which means you're probably doing something that you shouldn't have been doing screen time, but that re-evaluation where they can see I'm really struggling in this class, maybe I need to do something differently, maybe I need to fuel my body a little bit more. And then, if they see that, as I need help in this space, what are the things that I, as mom, can do to help make sure that there are things available, like a quick protein shake that can get grabbed literally on the way walking to the car, that it's easy.
Speaker 1:Protein, low sugar, gives a little jolt. If I had to choose one thing to put into my body, it's going to be protein, because I just feel full and strong and ready to roll when I've had a little bit of protein. I call it a punch of protein and it just kind of gets me through to that brunch time. So if Lydia finds that she's having a difficult time in whatever her first class is which we don't know yet then we already had that discussion that it might be time to reevaluate our morning eating needs, and there are some kids that it's much more obvious that they need to eat a good big breakfast, a decent breakfast with, you know, a protein and maybe a fruit or a vegetable, or I mean, what vegetables do we have at breakfast? I mean, you could do like bell peppers and onions or something, but I don't know. Or even a waffle like a frozen waffle, it doesn't matter, I don't know. Or even a waffle like a frozen waffle, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:But there are some kids that need a little bit more um for them sustenance for them to be able to show up the way that they need to show up to be able to be successful. Um, but what's interesting here is, as I'm as Lydia's talking, she talked about 10 to 15 minutes to put on her makeup. She talked about five minutes to set up her backpack. I would say maybe 10 minutes or so to do the bathroom stuff where we're brushing our teeth and we're using the restroom. And if she has to shower, she likes long showers. It's like 10 or 15 minutes. Don't get me started, guys.
Speaker 2:At the least I love me some 30-minute showers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what? We're going to start charging you for water. It's crazy, anyway. No, we're not. But what I'm hearing is that is the routine.
Speaker 1:When we talk about the time we have to walk out the door, we can work backwards for that. So if it takes you 10 to 15 minutes to have food and it takes you five minutes to pack your backpack, and it takes you 10 or 15 minutes to do your makeup and it takes you 10 minutes to pick out your outfit, get dressed, and it takes you 10 minutes in pick out your outfit, get dressed and it takes you 10 minutes in the bathroom, then we're looking at a 40 to 45, 50 minute getting ready cycle. That is a routine. But when you put it to a time that says we need to walk out the door by 8 am, we need to walk out the door by 8 am.
Speaker 1:Last year I think it was 7.50. Our alarm was 7.50, our reminder, which I do recommend using technology to make sure that you don't have to be like constantly looking at the clock as this routine is settling in. It's good to have awareness about how long these things take, but that 7.50 was. We need to be walking out the door and we had our device.
Speaker 1:I'm looking at her I don't want to ignite anybody's or make anybody's devices start talking to you, but we would set a reminder on the device that would say leave for school at 750. And it would go off at 7.50. And when something else came up that we needed to leave a little bit early, I would set a different reminder so that we could still get into the routine and not have to be staring at the clock and feel rushed by the clock, because as you establish your routine and how long things actually take you and this is a great time to do that because you're not actually under the pressure of needing to get to school right now in this week, two weeks, three weeks before school starts you are in this. Let's see how long it might take for me to get to and from school or, I'm sorry, to get ready for school to be able to walk out the door. So if we had to leave at 7.50 and I knew that it was going to take five minutes for her to pack up her backpack, she had to be starting to pack her backpack by 7.45. If I knew that it was going to take 15 minutes for her to do her makeup Now we're looking at 7.30 for what time she needs to be starting her makeup.
Speaker 1:If I know it takes her 15 minutes to pick out her outfit, now we're looking at 7.15 for wake-up time. If it takes her 10 minutes in the bathroom, now we're looking at 7.05 as wake-up time. If she wanted to take a shower, now we're looking at, you know, 645. So we're working our way back from the time that is ideal for us to get to where we need to be at school by a certain time. We're working our way back to find a time that is decent and appropriate for us to wake up by, decent and appropriate for us to wake up by.
Speaker 1:I like to then build in a little bit of wiggle room. We're not going to get up exactly at 6.35 because maybe something happens, maybe one of our sisters is in the bathroom and all of a sudden we don't have that same 10, 15 minutes as routine into that schedule. So building in a little bit of flexibility. So maybe we're up at 6.30, maybe at 6.20. If we like to hit the snooze, maybe at 6.15. Trick yourself into that as you're establishing that routine that makes it so that you can still get out the door on time. Did you have something to add to that Lydia. You look expectant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say that I like to like have, like, like you said, extra wiggle room.
Speaker 1:She's air quoting on the radio. Quote, end, quote Yep quote unquote yep, anyways.
Speaker 2:Um, because like you said, like I don't know if Josie's gonna be in the bathroom or something like that, but if that happens and I have to like pick out my outfit, just don't put it on and like pack my backpack and like kind of make up for that time yeah even though it is better to have a shower earlier in the day. So I don't go to school with my hair wet, um and it kind of based on experience.
Speaker 1:It kind of throws people off when you do things in a certain order and then all of a sudden, you don't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's one of those adaptability things, which is really great. How can you still use that time? If you know? I have 10 or 15 minutes in these little 15 minute chunks. I have 15 minutes in the bathroom. I have 15 minutes in the shower. I have 15 minutes to get dressed. I have 15 minutes to do my makeup. I have 15 minutes to grab a little snack and to pack up my backpack and then you're ready to roll. That's an hour and 15, but you can put those in any order that you might want. Like, sometimes you brush your teeth right before we leave, right? It's not like this is my 15 minutes. We tried that, it didn't work.
Speaker 2:It's like this is my 15 minutes. We tried that. It didn't work.
Speaker 1:It's like this is my 15 minutes and it caused way more problems than it needed to. But being able to evaluate your own routine, the things you want to get done in a certain amount of time, and then being able to apply them to the time available is a really helpful skill, and you have done an excellent job this past year of taking on a lot of that responsibility and ownership.
Speaker 1:Thank you no thank you because you're making my job easier and I super appreciate it. You're welcome. I will say, when you were 10 and 11, it was not like this yeah, we had to work to get here. You had to mature into it. I may have been expecting too much out of you, but we really we did have to work at this.
Speaker 1:So I just want to say that for parents that have younger than 13, younger than, or kids that just aren't trained in this, my kids are trained in this, and so when you as the parent don't have a grasp on that concept, it's hard to transfer that skill to the kids. So I will say that this is something that I like to work with kids. I call it my student success. So we do coaching through. Let's see what you want to get done before school and after school and after dinner, getting ready for the next day.
Speaker 1:So that is a service that I offer. They are virtual sessions that are just conversations, just like I'm having with Lydia, but we're working through what that might look like so that it can be on paper and on purpose, and then you find the flexibility in that, once you can recognize what the patterns are, that's something that I help kids see and develop for themselves, and I help parents do the same thing. If you need a master schedule, with all of the you know going to and from different extracurricular activities and still also taking care of yourself and taking care of your home and all of the you know, if you work outside of the home, how we can find balance and make you feel like you're showing up in the way that you want to be able to show up in your home, in your family, in your life. Liddy, do you have anything else to share before we say adios to our wonderful listeners?
Speaker 2:Um, not really. No, oh wait, I do, I actually do, I knew it.
Speaker 1:She loves the last word. But guess what I get to have it Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Hey, go on Whatever. Um, I feel, I just feel like it takes like getting used to kind of like you said before, like when I was like 10 and 11, I like was not as fast as I am now, and I feel like that's not just because I've gotten older but because I've been more independent, because when I was like 10 and 11 then I depended more on you and if you were running then I was running late and everything was running late. But now I'm like I just like got faster and better as time went on.
Speaker 1:Well, let me ask you this If I had done all the things for you that you used to ask me to do when you were 10 and 11. I don't want to do this. I want you to do that. You know, if I had woken you up, if I had picked out your outfit, if I had well, I wouldn't bathe you. If I had helped, like made sure that your timing was right for going into the bathroom to brush your teeth, if I had made sure that the food was out, without having you take a little bit of ownership, how are you supposed to be able to develop that skill to do it on your own?
Speaker 2:I wouldn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I think we went through those hard times at 10, 9, 10, 11, that to get to this point that I know that I can depend on you to be ready to walk out the door because we've worked for it. We have fought for it Literally. We have fought for it, and one of the things that I like to help people do is to not have to fight for it so hard. There are skills that you can work on and develop that make future selves more peaceful, happier, more calm, more prepared and ready to show up. So I am really glad, lydia, that you wanted to be on this podcast. It's always great to be able to just connect with my kids and it's really exciting to hear you guys become your own people. But to take things that I know will help you long into the future, it's really exciting for me to see that come to fruition. I love you so much. I love you too, mama.
