Encore of Stories Sustain Us #13 – The Importance of Awareness and Support for HIV/AIDS

As the holiday season is upon us, I’m taking this time to revisit some of the most impactful episodes from Season 1. Today, we’re bringing back Season 1, Episode 13, featuring my dear friend and truly inspiring guest, Roy Hudgens. 

Roy Mason Hudgens shares his personal journey living with HIV/AIDS during the AIDS pandemic. He discusses the challenges he faced, including societal stigma, discrimination, and the lack of medical knowledge and treatment options at the time. Roy highlights the importance of support from the HIV/AIDS community and the compassion shown by doctors and nurses. He also talks about the advancements in medication, from the early days of AZT to the development of the cocktail and the single-dose treatment. Roy emphasizes the holistic impact of living with HIV/AIDS, including the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Roy Mason Hudgens shares his experience living with HIV/AIDS and the importance of staying ahead of the disease through daily mindfulness practices and physical fitness. He emphasizes the need for continued awareness and support for those affected by the disease, as well as the importance of love and acceptance for all individuals. Roy encourages listeners to embrace the present moment and find joy in simple pleasures, such as walking barefoot in the grass. He calls for action in advocating for affordable access to medication and resources for those living with HIV/AIDS globally.

🎙️ Stories Sustain Us is more than a podcast—it's a powerful platform that shares inspiring stories from people working to make the world a better place. Through honest, heartfelt conversations, host Steven Schauer explores the connections between people, planet, and purpose. From climate change and environmental justice to cultural preservation and human resilience, each episode aims to ignite meaningful action toward a more sustainable future.

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Transcript

Steven (00:02)
Welcome back to Stories Sustain Us, the podcast where we explore the remarkable journeys of those making a lasting impact on our world. I'm your host, Steven Schauer, and as the holiday season is upon us, I'm taking this time to revisit some of the most impactful episodes from season one. Today, we're bringing back season one, episode 13, featuring my dear friend and truly inspiring guest, Roy Hudgens. This episode originally aired on September 17th, 2024.

and I'm thrilled to share it with you again. And just so you know, I'm currently working on new shows for season two of Stories Sustain Us, which will be released in January. Roy is an interior designer, a passionate tennis player, and a survivor of the HIV AIDS epidemic, having lived with HIV for an incredible 39 years. His journey is one of resilience, hope, and an unshakable zest for life. During the height of the AIDS pandemic, Roy faced

overwhelming stigma and a lack of medical resources. Yet he found the strength and the support of the HIV AIDS community and compassionate caregivers. When this episode first aired, we explored the holistic impact of living with HIV AIDS on mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and how Roy's daily mindfulness practices, fitness routines and deep appreciation for life's simple pleasures have helped him thrive.

Since then, I'm happy to report that Roy continues to live his best life in Los Angeles, inspiring everyone he meets. He still encourages us all to slow down, be present, and go barefoot in the grass as often as possible. A simple, yet profound reminder of the joy in connecting with the present moment. This episode also ties directly to global sustainability. Through the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals, specifically Goal 3,

there's a target to end the HIV AIDS pandemic by 2030. Roy's story is a powerful testament to what's possible when resilience, advocacy and community come together to create change. Whether you're revisiting this episode or hearing it for the first time, I hope you find Roy's story as inspiring as I do. So sit back, relax and join me as we dive into this encore presentation of Roy Hudgens incredible journey on Stories Sustain Us, where we are inspiring action through the power of storytelling.

Steven Schauer (02:28)
All right, well, Roy, welcome to Stories Sustain Us. How you doing, my friend? Good to see you.

Roy Mason Hudgens (02:34)
I'm good, thank you. Thank you for having me.

Steven Schauer (02:37)
Yeah, well, just did the introduction. So everybody's starting to get to know you, but thank you for kind of joining me on, I don't know, kind of what, what I'm seeing as a special episode kind of, kind of things. I'm talking to you about your personal life experience with the, with what I think is a very important topic. And it's not necessarily, you know, talking to a, you know, a researcher or a scientist or someone who's working in a field. I'm talking to someone who's lived.

on the front lines of the AIDS crisis that the world, the AIDS pandemic that the world is still in 40 years later. So we're still in this pandemic. So I appreciate you very much sharing your personal journey and story as part of this kind of episode of Story Sustainer. So thanks for being here.

Roy Mason Hudgens (02:27)
My pleasure. you for having me. Congratulations on your podcast. Yeah.

Steven Schauer (03:31)
Yeah, I'm having fun with it. So getting to chat with old friends like you and new people all around the world has been a blast. So it's been fun. So thank you. Appreciate it. yeah, so we're just jumping to your story, Roy. Tell me Roy's story. How are doing? What's childhood like and what's life been like for you?

Roy Mason Hudgens (03:48)
Okay. Well, first of all, I'm great. Thank you. Living in LA. Standing in my kitchen with a view of the Hollywood Hills in my humble little apartment and I'm loving life. So that's who I am right now. But yeah, I love it here. Well, you're in the same climate. know. Yeah. Thank you for inviting me and like talking about

Steven Schauer (04:05)
That's a beautiful place to be.

Yeah, yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (04:17)
the AIDS epidemic in the current state and the future of it. But I have been HIV positive for

29 years, I think. I think it's 29 or 30. I'm not sure. can't remember. But yeah, so I'm a military brat. I'm number six of seven children, six boys and one girl. And we moved almost twice a year. We lived in 22 different states, and I was born in Turkey. yeah, and I guess it was, I don't know, remember when, but I definitely

knew I was different, special, and it was not okay to be gay and my family were military. So there was just that. But I guess it was, I think I was 19 years old, I to a gay bar, and I saw this guy and he looked like Ricky Ricardo, and had stuck back hair, and he was very handsome. And he came up and said hi to me and I was like,

Steven Schauer (04:58)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (05:27)
No way. Anyways, that's kind of how it happened. San Antonio at the paper moon. First thought was someone like that would never like me. Next thing you know, he's like, hello. So we never left each other's side until he died of AIDS 10 years later from when we met. But.

Steven Schauer (05:29)
This was where where was this San Antonio, yeah

Yeah.

Yeah. When did you, you said you were 19. When was that?

Roy Mason Hudgens (05:50)
He died in 1995. No, yeah, I was 19 and 86, 77. Yeah, so we started a life together and it was, it's just tough back then to be out or, but what happened was we started a successful business and we were rocking along and you know, our nieces and nephews spent holidays at our home.

Steven Schauer (05:53)
95, so you met in the mid 80s.

Yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (06:20)
So, you know, there was a little bit of like, don't talk about it, but everyone loved to be around us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a little bit. But so one day he got sick, he got a super high temperature and...

Steven Schauer (06:27)
Yeah, both families. It was kind of a hush secret. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard, man.

Roy Mason Hudgens (06:40)
He, his doctor tested him and he was, he had full blown AIDS. And I was also, I tested positive for AIDS. And so we didn't, I didn't know anything. Like nobody, this was like early nineties, early nineties. we had no idea. Like I didn't know you could drink a Coke after someone with AIDS. I had no idea. And,

Steven Schauer (06:45)
Yeah.

When was this? was early 90s at this point?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (07:10)
But I will say our families rallied around us. so here's the thing, back then there was no drugs for it until AZT came out. And like, for example, so what it was like was this. Rico got everything you could get without an immune system. He got a parasite in his brain. He went completely blind. He had, his bones were rotting and with.

Steven Schauer (07:20)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (05:11)
They would send him home from the hospital with open wounds to heal with six feet of packing that I had to dress him with. sent a blind lady over to teach us how to be blind. It was just one thing after another. Early on when we were first diagnosed, I was the best man at my brother's wedding and we, my sister was coming to get Rico and I to take us to Louisiana, but I had a tooth that needed pulled and she called

Steven Schauer (07:39)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (08:10)
to get, she called around to dentists in San Antonio to get my tooth pulled. And it took her 14 dentists to find one that would pull my tooth because I was, yeah. And so she took me to this dentist. She's holding my arm. We walk in and the whole staff is lining the walls in full chem gear. And I remember walking down the hall thinking, I do not belong on, that's the first time I didn't believe I belonged on this planet.

Steven Schauer (08:21)
on you.

Roy Mason Hudgens (08:39)
And so that was one of so many things that trying to be, trying to accept that he's dying, I most likely will, and be as kind and loving and supportive at the same time not being recognized as a human being was traumatic, which is stuff that I'm still working on, but doing good. took a while. One time he was in the hospital with that surgery that he had.

Steven Schauer (08:39)
Yeah.

No doubt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (09:09)
And I was in there waiting for him to wake up from the surgery and this mean ass woman, can we cuss on her? Anyways, this nurse came in and she, well, she was like, I mean, those horror stories that you hear, she's like, you're not immediate family, get the fuck out of here. She threw me out of the room, stuff like that. And it was just constant. Rico's family was very Catholic and so.

Steven Schauer (09:16)
Yeah, of course. Words, say whatever you want. If you're hearing this story, I might say some curse words.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (09:39)
He wanted to be Catholic and still be gay and go to heaven because he knew he was dying. So we took him to this big giant, giant church at the TV.

Steven Schauer (09:43)
Yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (09:52)
saying, I don't want to say it, I'll say it, was cornerstone. We took him there, we went there, and is, and he wanted to be saved. Yeah, and so you have to pay them a check to be dumped in the pool and saved. And so I wrote the check, they took him to dunk him and the assistant to Pastor Hagee came out and said,

Steven Schauer (09:54)
Yeah. Okay. That is, yeah, that is a big kind of mega church in San Antonio for those who don't know,

Roy Mason Hudgens (10:20)
what you boys are doing is a thorn in God's eye. You're going to hell. and I was, no, his minion, his little deacon. Yeah, and I remember sitting in, I was up in the locker room and I was like, it felt like I was walking down the hall as a dentist. Like, what? I just wrote you a check. Like, are you gonna keep my money? But I never told Rico that. didn't, he was.

Steven Schauer (10:40)
Yeah, for, you know, compassion and, know, yeah, huh. Yeah, that's, that's, yeah. I'm sorry, Roy.

Roy Mason Hudgens (10:47)
Yeah, so, and there's so many stories like that. Well, there's more to later on now, currently in my life. Like those things were gifts and it took me a long time and a lot of trauma to get to where I'm at with that. it's just food for my ego, for me to be like a victim. So there's a whole other story into that. But at the time I felt like I didn't belong here. I wasn't allowed.

Steven Schauer (11:03)
Yeah.

Sure, I appreciate. Yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (11:16)
So you kept your head down and just tried to stay invisible. Yeah.

Steven Schauer (11:19)
You're ostracized. mean, you, to say the least. mean, yeah, so that feeling of not belonging, that was intentional. I people made, I mean, that was the, being told something like that, that is not kindness. That's not compassion. That is, you know, the opposite of that. So, you know, my heart goes out to you. know some of these stories, because you and I know each other, but it's still thank you for your.

Roy Mason Hudgens (11:43)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Steven Schauer (11:49)
vulnerability and honesty and sharing with some of those hard tragic stories. mean, so please, please go on. Where do you want to pick up, I guess? Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (11:50)
for.

Yeah, it was a, well, it was a different, well, here's the thing about sustainability and about medications and what we can do to keep people from dying. And so back then it was different. Like he was given AZT. And so AZT is what is described to us by our doctor is that if you have a flower bed and in that flower bed is a little weed and you take this gigantic

Steven Schauer (12:11)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (12:27)
weed eater to get that weed, gonna mutilate a bunch of flowers. That's what AZT was. It was like, coming through. And so when the cocktail finally came out, the combination, it was like a little handheld weeder. And so Rico was short eight months before the cocktail came out before he died. That's why I'm alive. But before that, he was on a lot of test drugs. We were on everything possible.

Steven Schauer (12:33)
You're gonna mow everything else down, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm. Mm.

Roy Mason Hudgens (13:02)
But there's a, there's a, had thrush, was like a foaming in the mouth. And he was, he's the reason that there is a,

Steven Schauer (13:02)
Mm

Roy Mason Hudgens (13:09)
used infections for women they take it to come as all and to connor or it's car as well he was the reason they have that drug he was one of the people that's was tested so a lot of things that you know i'd take a pill once a day that gives me the fullness of life i play tennis arrived at my tour i played big boy tennis and i had with the college kids it's because that will kill it i got to take because of people like we killed it

Steven Schauer (13:27)
Mm

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (13:38)
So yeah, that's what it was like.

Steven Schauer (13:42)
Did you find that the medical community, know, was obviously with the dentist experience didn't sound at all that helpful, but were you finding more help amongst the, the MDs and the doctors that, was it kind of somewhere some didn't know what to do with you? Cause it was still so novel and, and, and scary, I'm sure for everybody, but, or, or, you know, how was your experience?

Roy Mason Hudgens (14:01)
No. No.

It... Yeah...

Steven Schauer (14:11)
obviously testing all of these things and going through all of that. Was there any compassion in that process or were you just kind of like, here try this and call me later?

Roy Mason Hudgens (14:19)
Yes. No, yes. It was inside the community of doctors and nurses that were HIV and AIDS doctors and nurses in the clinics. Amazing. I mean, you're in a, you know, it's a different time. You're sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of people that are dying. have lesions and they're wasting and you're like, my God, like, this is what I have to look forward to.

Steven Schauer (14:29)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (14:49)
It's just awful. was an awful, awful experience. I remember taking Rico one time to his many, so many doctor's appointments. And one time I was taking him down to the car and he just started bawling. And I was like, what's wrong? And he's like, I don't want to go to the waiting room. It's just so awful. So, but yes, the nurses and doctors were amazing. They were like touching me. They would touch you and love you. And they weren't afraid of getting AIDS by being next to you. So.

Steven Schauer (14:50)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dude.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (15:19)
huge, a huge, compassion and love from the AIDS foundation, the clinics, the regular hospitals, if it wasn't an AIDS ward, they were awful. Well, they were scared. Just like the dentist office, they were scared. You know, they did say yes. And he pulled my tooth. There's plastic on the wall, but he pulled that fucker. So.

Steven Schauer (15:29)
Yeah. They were scared. Sure. Right.

Yeah.

You

Roy Mason Hudgens (15:47)
And so here I am, I was 19 -ish when I was infected and I'm 58 and so, well, 58 and a half. yeah, with that, was thinking about what that does to people like me that are in their 50s or 60s that would survive the AIDS epidemic. I'm healthy.

Steven Schauer (15:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (16:16)
I somehow got into tennis right about 1999.

And I just ran for 20 years, 25 years. And so I'm fit. because the AIDS virus takes a toll on you. When I was taking medications, the cocktail, would, you have to keep testing your viral, your T cells back then, because the virus mutates and the medication is no longer effective. So have to switch up the cocktail. There were like 12.

Steven Schauer (16:28)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (16:55)
sequences of the cocktail that they could switch it around to trick the virus. I had gone to the last one. Like I was, you know, it be okay for a year or two and then my T cells would drop and it's like, we've got to switch the cocktail up. And so I remember one time my doctor like, this is the last combination for you. Okay. And then, then for until, until I got the single pill, which was probably

Steven Schauer (17:09)
Yeah.

So how long did that go on?

Roy Mason Hudgens (17:25)
maybe 10 years ago -ish.

Steven Schauer (17:27)
Yeah. So almost, almost 20 years of changing the cocktails, constantly test. How often were you testing, know, quarterly every other year? I mean, every six months, every year, how often were you testing? yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (17:31)
I was racing against the clock,

So at the beginning, no, beginning weekly, then every two months, three months, six months, and then got to a year, and now it's a year. I just got my test the other day, and it's 100 % undetectable. Like you, it's not there. It's there, but it's not there. So, but back then we couldn't eat raw eggs, couldn't eat, like I couldn't have Caesar dressing.

Steven Schauer (17:50)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Roy Mason Hudgens (18:08)
Because you can't afford to get sick when you have no immune system or a weak immune system. Like tuberculosis is like the number one killer of people living with AIDS because their immune system is so low.

Steven Schauer (18:09)
Why? Because...

wow.

I wouldn't have never thought about raw eggs or Caesar dressing or other things that could attack your immune system, your weakened body. Wow.

Roy Mason Hudgens (18:27)
Yeah, remember I was with my friends. We were in Austin at this concert and this guy was with, I didn't date like at all. I was so traumatized by the whole thing. I went on a couple of dates. Yeah, it was tough. But I went on a date with this guy and I went over and we were gonna hang out and I was gonna stay in Austin. had my current drug. We had to have refrigerated. So I my friend, I'm like, how do I fucking?

Steven Schauer (18:41)
after reclose passing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (18:56)
tell this guy, hey, I gotta put my AIDS medicine in your fridge. Yeah, that's what it's like. Yeah.

Steven Schauer (19:04)
Yeah, yeah. Thank you again for, you know, kind of pulling back the curtain and sharing some of the, like, again, you know, the recognizing some of the privilege of my life of not knowing what that's like. And again, not thinking for a minute like, you can't have, you know, eggs, you know, that never. Yeah, so.

Roy Mason Hudgens (19:22)
Yeah.

Yeah. Sunburns also. Sunburns will fuck you up if you're immune to symptoms. I didn't know that until I knew it. Sunscreen.

Steven Schauer (19:35)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Said you have scares along the way during that period? Your own personal kind of moments of, know. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (19:44)
Yeah, I had a, did. remember.

Illness? Yeah, so you're sober. I'm sober. In 1999, I got sober. Rico died in 1995, and I went to the doctor and she's like, well, you have the same strands of the virus in you, so you're gonna go blind, get a parasite in your brain, you'll be probably dead in a year. I was like, okay. So I just went and got high until 1999. And I was alive.

Steven Schauer (19:55)
Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (20:20)
I got sober the same place I think we did at Club 12.

Steven Schauer (20:25)
Yeah, that is where I got so that's actually where I think I met you the first time a few years into my sobriety journey.

Roy Mason Hudgens (20:29)
Yeah.

So I got sober, I five T cells, I was very sick, I ended up in the hospital and I had PCP pneumonia which is one of the, it's called the ARC, age related complications and you get like the lesions or pneumonia or brain stuff, parasite in your brain, like anything.

Steven Schauer (20:52)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (21:01)
Anyone can get them without an immune system. And so I was in the arc, which is usually see ya. And again, they're like, yeah, but you're to live. But I was in the isolation ward at University Hospital and I was masked. Or no, I was in the isolation ward. And then all of a sudden I hear all this noise. was Joe McFadden and like 10 people from the club. came in like, we're going to have a meeting in your room. And they all were wearing masks.

Steven Schauer (21:01)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (21:31)
because I was the one that was needing protection. And Joe was like, what the fuck? He took a mask and put it on me and they all took off all their masks. It was so great. But you know, Joe. So, but yeah, I had a couple of times where I was sick. Before I got sober in 1999, I remember getting a scratch and it not healing, fingernails not growing, kind of feeling like just rotting.

Steven Schauer (21:33)
Yeah, you're the one at risk, right? Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (22:01)
And then when I got sober and went to the doctor, I had like five teasels, so I was dying. That I was saying.

Steven Schauer (22:05)
You were, yeah. Geez Louise. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Thank you also for your vulnerability of telling that part of your story. think, you know, I shared a few episodes ago that I'm in recovery and it's a freaking miracle. And, you know, I'm grateful for every moment of it and wouldn't have met beautiful people like you otherwise as well. So, yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (22:10)
No.

Likewise.

Steven Schauer (22:33)
So you eventually get through the 18, 20 years of having to do the cocktail and 2010, 2014, somewhere in there you get to the single dose. me what's that like?

Roy Mason Hudgens (22:43)
And then...

Yeah, I think Truvada came out for us that were infected, that were positive. It was a cocktail. And now it's the one that you take if you're not infected to keep you from getting AIDS. It's so crazy. And now I take Biktarve. And so it's one pill. But see, it's not just the Biktarve. It's like, it's mental, it's physical, it's emotional, it's spiritual.

Steven Schauer (22:54)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (23:15)
Like I know people same length of time. I know people that didn't make it, but I know people with the same length of time living with HIV and AIDS that are sickly and old because one, it eats at your muscles and like you have to, you have to try. You have to try to stay ahead of it. And so fortunately I just was hiding on the tennis court.

Steven Schauer (23:38)
Yeah, you have to you have to work every day.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (23:46)
I would only play singles, but I played like eight hours a week. So I was isolating on the tennis court, which helped me physically. So I'm fit and healthy because I did a lot of fitness stuff, know. But there's a lot of people that aren't. And I'm grateful that I stayed ahead of the disease because once you get weak, it affects you. There's what people...

Steven Schauer (23:50)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (24:15)
There's so many people that are still dying from it. And you just don't think about it because it's not in the news.

Steven Schauer (24:17)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's a report, you know, I mentioned to you and at the introduction talked about the new report that came out from UNAIDS. This is, you know, we're mid September now with this release, but the report came out in middle of July a few months ago and, you know, a horrible statistic of every minute somewhere around the globe, there's someone dying of AIDS related.

complications. it is, there's more miracle stories such as yours, but there's certainly, you know, pretty dramatic inequalities in other places around the world. And in those places, there's inequalities between who has access men or women, or, you know, what type of, you know, work they do if they're in the sex trade or in some of these places. I mean, it's just there's still a lot that we

collectively as humanity needs to do, in my opinion, to help get this pandemic eradicated, if certainly not more manageable around the world, like you're managing your disease. So what?

Roy Mason Hudgens (25:35)
I wish we could see a component of...

some component of the medication, like with early detection, like medication, mindfulness, that's what changed for me. Yes, I take that pill every day and I'm grateful for it. I'm not going to not take it, but the quality of my life has gotten so much better learning how to meditate, learning how to be of service. It's, it pays so heavy. When you practice mindfulness,

Steven Schauer (25:52)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (26:10)
service. Yeah, especially for those that have been traumatized. Like that stuff, I I thought it was fine. I was living my life. Everything was great. And then it wasn't. I have a wise friend that said, Roehwe, everything buried is alive and growing and it's gonna come out someday. I'm not sure when or where it came out. So, you know, I've done all the Eckhart Tolle, Science of Mind, Emmett Fox, Sadguru,

Steven Schauer (26:13)
Tell me.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (26:40)
Just got my completion to my Isha. The one thing for me that's changed the most, that's changed me the most was being of service and recovery. And I'm currently doing the work with Byron Katie. Fortunately, she lives in California, and so I went to a retreat. It's just four questions, but all it does is it actually, it's like hand surgery versus putting cream on your hand.

Like you question your thoughts, is it true? You absolutely know it's true. Who would you be without that thought? How do you treat yourself and others when you believe that thought? What addictions do you participate in? And then you turn it around. So I'll give you a little quick example. had, okay, so I actually went to Ojai because my boyfriend Kent, he's like really involved in vibrancy and I'm like, okay, I'll go. So we go and there's the...

Steven Schauer (27:28)
Yeah, please.

Roy Mason Hudgens (27:38)
a hundred people at these events. I didn't know, but at the end of each event, she pulls someone from the audience and puts them on stage and she does the work with you. And she pulled me, she picked me. So I was doing the work on my form, I was doing the work on, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings, but during, when Rico and I were together, there were family members that I felt didn't treat me right. And I felt like they wanted me to die.

Steven Schauer (27:45)
Yeah.

Right on.

Yeah, yeah

Roy Mason Hudgens (28:07)
not him. And I carried that with me, just, I don't know if it was true, but that's what my brain told me. So she had me do the work on that. And, you know, it took, she let me come to my own answers without her putting words in my mouth. And it turned out it wasn't true. And she was a beautiful mother to him and me. And she managed to, she managed to

Steven Schauer (28:15)
That's sure.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (28:37)
bring this large Hispanic Catholic family into our home and let him be Catholic and gay and die of AIDS believing he would go to heaven. Like she gave that to him. sorry.

Steven Schauer (28:50)
Yeah.

Yeah. No, that's friggin beautiful, man. I mean, thank you for sharing that. I'm tearing up with you,

Roy Mason Hudgens (28:59)
Right, and I didn't know that. It came out on stage, I'm like, holy fuck. And so I sent her a card and thanked her. So that's what the work is doing for me. You question your thoughts, ask them if they're true, turn it around, and shabam. It's the same with anyone. I had a sponsor that would tell me the same thing in different words. So whatever is spirituality,

Steven Schauer (29:04)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (29:28)
guru, process, grass under your feet, gets you there. Like that's the mana of life, including the medication. Take your meds. So, yeah.

Steven Schauer (29:39)
Yeah. Sorry. Do you, know, so on a daily basis, you take your, pill and it sounds like on a daily basis, you do your mindfulness meditation routines, you do your exercise, your physical fit, you, eat well.

Roy Mason Hudgens (29:49)
I

Right. Which includes riding my bike to work and taking my socks and shoes off in the grass whenever I can. Yes.

Steven Schauer (30:03)
Yeah. Feeling the earth underneath you. Yeah. That's, that's such a, that's important. I like doing that too when I can. I don't do that as often as you certainly not as often as I would like, but it, it, it just feels good when you do it, right? You just like connected. feel connected to something bigger than yourself when you're touching the earth, at least for me, you know, I do a lot of hiking here in the Pacific Northwest and, I am literally a tree hugger when I'm in the middle of the woods. I will, there's a giant.

Roy Mason Hudgens (30:11)
I never did before.

It's crazy.

Steven Schauer (30:32)
amazing, beautiful trees. I will just go put my hands on it and sometimes I'll hug it, but I'll just touch it. I'll just hold it, just feel it. there's like, it's just something, you're just connected to something that you're connected to the earth. You're connected to life, a life force. think it's beautiful. So yeah, I appreciate that. So, so you do all these things every day to kind of maintain your physical, mental, emotional and

spiritual well -being. That's kind of what I'm hearing you say. It's a daily deal. You don't get vacations from taking care of yourself because just like our sobriety, we don't get to take vacation from that because that mental illness is still there and ready to flare back up. You have to take all these other kind of daily steps to maintain your...

Roy Mason Hudgens (31:22)
Yeah.

Steven Schauer (31:28)
your physical health as well because of the virus that's in your body. that kind of what I'm hearing correctly? Yeah. Which, taking in a hole is leaving you as a pretty healthy 58 year old man. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (31:30)
Thank

Barry. Yeah, I didn't get the rona for two years and made fun of all my friends and then I got it. I couldn't even see it was so sick. But yeah, so I got the rona though.

Steven Schauer (31:55)
Yeah. So things like that though, common colds, the coronavirus, flu, are you still at a heightened risk or because your T cells are doing so well and the medication has it as barely acknowledgeable, you're able to maintain your health through those types of illnesses. Like I got the coronavirus as well, you know, year and a half ago and it knocked me out for a week. I mean, I was...

Roy Mason Hudgens (32:01)
If you're

So.

Steven Schauer (32:24)
down and out for a week. But I also wasn't too worried that I wasn't going to recover. mean, so do you have, do you face those types of things differently?

Roy Mason Hudgens (32:35)
Well, so first of all, it's not T cells anymore. Somewhere along the way, 10, 15, 20, I don't know when it shifted, but now they base it on your viral load. So anything under 200 is like undetectable, or it's like good. And then like I am zero, I'm undetectable. And so it used to be T cells, but now it's like your viral load, how many viruses are in your body? And so like someone who's like full -blown AIDS has hundreds of thousands of viral loads.

Steven Schauer (32:45)
Okay.

Okay.

Roy Mason Hudgens (33:05)
So I don't know if I know the answer to that because I'm always cautious. I think I'm okay because I'm undetectable. But my doctor says, well, it's there, but it's not there. So basically they can't get a reading on it I'm not a doctor, but they can't see it. They can't get a reading on it. So it's undetectable. So I don't know if I get some crazy illness that I'm not going to recover. I think I'm normal, but

Yeah, so, I mean, I've gotten colds and stuff, so I don't know the answer to that.

Steven Schauer (33:42)
on. Well, so where do we go from here Roy? I what's life like for you now in Los Angeles? From what I know of it, it sounds like you're living a pretty amazing life. So I mean is that what's happening?

Roy Mason Hudgens (34:02)
Yeah, yes, was working on, you know, recovery and the crazies, but yes, so I spent a lot of my life, one in shame, but also like waiting for it to happen. I have this cute apartment, it's a studio, it's adorable, and I have a great view, I ride my bike to work, but I had, for a while there, I was seeing myself in a house with Kent and a yard and dogs and.

Steven Schauer (34:05)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (34:31)
And I was like living in that house and I was not being happy where I'm at. And so I just, I, you know, I did some work on it and I was like, wait, why don't I just start living where I'm at and see how that goes. And so I started using, doing puzzles and like I'm hanging some pots and pans over the stove. I live here, like I'm going to live here forever. It helps me stay present. And so, you know, when you do that, maybe my house is around the corner. So.

Steven Schauer (34:36)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (35:01)
But I do love it here. I'm an interior designer. I actually have a huge Ken House project in Texas I've been working on for two years. So I go back there often. And then I design custom saunas for the celebrities and sell hot tubs here. yeah, have a good life. I have a great schedule. Yeah. I get to meet customers and give service and.

Steven Schauer (35:18)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (35:29)
I skip when I walk sometimes it's like bananas. So there's something about LA LA. When I got here, it was like a living treatment center. They have 30 foot hedges. Like everything in Texas is the succulents are fake. They're real here. Cause it's like tropical, subtropical. So like even the crappy areas of town have amazing landscaping. it's like an island. So that helps. Like you said, when you were hiking.

Steven Schauer (35:44)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (35:57)
Like there's so many beautiful plants and trees that everywhere he walks. Yeah, I feel like I'm on vacation. So. Well.

Steven Schauer (36:02)
Yeah, yeah, that's kind of how I feel living here and walk in the neighborhood. It's very walkable neighborhood and it's just full of beautiful flowers that bloom all year round most part except for winter, but it's still just beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Love it.

Roy Mason Hudgens (36:13)
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I'm in love also.

Steven Schauer (36:18)
Nice. That is a good thing.

Roy Mason Hudgens (36:19)
Yeah, didn't, didn't, my God. Never was I ever, ever gonna risk opening my heart up. It just shut down on its own, a concrete wall over it. was like, I didn't even try. Rico had died at Christmas and I had the house all decorated in advance for him. He never came home from the hospital and I never celebrated Christmas again, but it wasn't even intentional. I just deleted it.

Steven Schauer (36:31)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (36:48)
And so I put my first Christmas tree up 28 years last year.

Steven Schauer (36:53)
Yeah. I mean, you sent me the pictures of it. I was so happy for you. was like, that's just so exciting. Yeah. Yeah. All right on. And I'm happy for you that you're dipping your toe back into the relationship pool. And that's important, right? mean, we're social creatures. We're supposed to be with other people and connection and relationship. So that's a testament to.

Roy Mason Hudgens (36:57)
Amazing!

Yeah

Steven Schauer (37:21)
Like you said, all the work you've done on addressing some of those traumatic things that have happened to you in your life. you are, know, for me, I appreciate, you know, we share gratitudes almost every day. That's one of our ways that we're connected and get to know what's going on with each other's life is we'll send a little text to each other about.

Roy Mason Hudgens (37:29)
Mm -hmm.

Steven Schauer (37:47)
what we're grateful for today and I always appreciate reading what you shared because it's, you I find you to be just an amazing human being and very inspirational. You know, couldn't be more grateful to know you, call you a friend. Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (37:53)
Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. You started that. Do you remember? I was struggling in San Antonio, seven years ago, six years ago. And you called me and said, so this is what you're going to do. You're going to start making your gratitude list every day. And during this interview, and you're going to meet me for lunch at the Pearl on Tuesday. I was like, yes, sir. And so we've been doing it almost every day. Yeah.

Steven Schauer (38:07)
I, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It helps me out. I'm glad it helps you out, but it helps me out too. it, it, the gratitude's a superpower, man. well, Roy, what, is there anything else that you want to touch on with regards to your personal story? You know, you've shared a lot and I'm so grateful for how open and honest you've been with, with your experience, with HIV AIDS and, and

immensely grateful for what you've shared today. Is there anything else that's kind of, you know, we'll call it a burning desire for those who are familiar with what that term is?

Roy Mason Hudgens (39:05)
No,

Just any chance anyone can have the opportunity to love someone just the way they are. Like the bottom is the top. If you're at your worst and you're feeling like crap and ungrateful, you have to have that to get to the top. So I don't know. I'm really big on just embracing.

the underdog. So, love the nerds. I'm gonna marry one.

Steven Schauer (39:44)
Yeah.

Can't wait to meet him. So I appreciate there was a little bit of a call to action there, which I so appreciate. Love everyone, love everybody where they are, love people for who they are, where they are. In the context of this particular episode about the AIDS pandemic, is there anything, any call to action?

that for anybody listening to this podcast or watching the video, I can't imagine, you know, if anybody, any audience member isn't touched by your story. So hopefully they're fired up and inspired to do something to help. What would you ask people to do beyond, which is incredibly powerful, love people where they are? mean, that is an amazing call to action, but is there anything else that you would ask audience members?

to do after listening to this? they shut off the podcast and they go do this. What would that be?

Roy Mason Hudgens (40:53)
So I don't know how it works, but I do know when the new drugs came out, when it first started working, they were like $20 ,000 a month if you didn't have insurance, and then they were like $200 a pill, and so the more it worked, the more expensive it got. And so I know there's so many people that don't have access to it, so I don't know how this works, but I have a suspicion that when there's profit, there's delays.

Steven Schauer (41:14)
Wow.

Roy Mason Hudgens (41:23)
When things are making, when drug companies are making money for us to be sick. Like, I don't know how that works, but I know that like the right legislation can take care of that. So I don't know how it works other than getting involved in, like whatever it takes to push along without having these, you know, delays in research and distribution based on

Steven Schauer (41:31)
Yeah.

Roy Mason Hudgens (41:52)
what companies bottom line is. So there's a lot of money, a lot of money in the AIDS epidemic. And so, but I don't know how it works. So.

Steven Schauer (41:56)
Yeah.

So tell your Congress member, tell your Senator that federal support resources for AIDS legislation is something that is important to you. That's a call to action people can do is to take a stand, let their elected officials know that this is an important issue that needs financial resources so that everyone can get affordable access to

Roy Mason Hudgens (42:17)
Yes.

Yes.

Steven Schauer (42:29)
to drugs that will keep them alive, right? mean, this is right.

Roy Mason Hudgens (42:32)
Right. And there's more. I'm a very proud American, a military family. I am very proud American, but we're one chunk of the globe. So we have to help everyone. There's so many people that are not going to get the drugs. So we're doing, we have so much resources. We should be sharing.

That's what I'm saying, we should be sharing. Like I would split my pill in half and send it to Africa if I had to. Or wherever.

Steven Schauer (43:01)
Yeah, yeah. I agree. Completely.

Right on. We shouldn't have to ask people like you to do that. We are a resource wealthy nation. to the credit, George W. Bush, right? mean, he did a couple decades ago when he was in office lead an effort to do a pretty significant package of support.

Roy Mason Hudgens (43:13)
Yeah. Yeah.

Right, right, yeah.

Steven Schauer (43:36)
specifically to Africa. I mean, it can be done. There's evidence even by those amongst the conservative leaders of our nation can see the need for kindness and compassion to help other nations. So there's a track record there of it getting done. So we need to keep pushing our legislators and elected officials to keep doing it and do more because there's more to be done.

Roy Mason Hudgens (44:02)
Yeah, yeah, it always be on the docket. In the queue.

Steven Schauer (44:06)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. that's the crux of that, you UNAIDS report is that if we're going to get to eradicating AIDS globally by 2030, the elected leaders of the world, the governments of the world need to step up their promises, you know, not that they need to follow through with their promises. Promises were made to work towards eradicating

the disease by 2030, but it's, you we're not quite halfway there and the promises are not being kept. So pushing our elected leaders around the world to uphold what they said they would do and to put the resources and effort into eradicating this disease once and for all. So.

All right, man. Well, I end every episode. Is there anything else you want to add before I get to the last questions? Is there any other calls to action? There are a few questions. Yes, few more. Anything else you want to, you want to any other call to actions or anything else you'd like to mention before I hit you with the last questions? Okay. So each episode I end with asking three questions of the guests around the topic of hope.

Roy Mason Hudgens (45:05)
there's a question.

No thank you. That's it.

Steven Schauer (45:27)
so, you know, hope isn't a strategy, right? But without hope, it's hard to get into action to go do the things you need to do. So hope is kind of a, a foundational prerequisite of, of doing something, of getting into actions. And, and on these episodes on story sustain us in this one in particular, we're talking about a really hard subject and thank you again so much for your honesty and vulnerability.

Roy Mason Hudgens (45:41)
Thank you.

Steven Schauer (45:56)
So AIDS is hard, right? mean, it's a difficult subject to talk about. So I want to end on a hopeful note. There's been a lot of hope and a lot of promise just in your story already, but I want to push you a little bit more to find out what you're hopeful about. So I'm going to ask you three questions, kind of just off the cuff, the top of your head, or what's in your heart. Don't think too long about the answer.

Roy Mason Hudgens (46:17)
Okay.

Okay.

Steven Schauer (46:25)
Give the answer. and I'm defining hope kind of the way folks who study it define it. And hope is defined as you can have a vision for the future and you feel like you have some agency to help that vision come true. Might not be easy, you might not get there, but you have a vision and you feel you can do something to help it happen. So.

Three questions, Roy. First question is, what is your vision for a better future? It could be for you personally or professionally or for the world. What's your vision for a better future?

Roy Mason Hudgens (47:04)
living in the moment, barefoot in the grass.

Steven Schauer (47:08)
Tell me why.

Roy Mason Hudgens (47:10)
because I've had success in every area of my life that I've practiced the principles of our program. And it doesn't sustain me. What sustains me is being barefoot in the grass. I drove around San Antonio with four jobs, making piles of money, thinking, someday I'm gonna pull over, take my shoes and socks off. And I never did, I ate in my car. And now in LA, I don't.

pass grass without stopping and taking my shoes and socks off. It makes me a better person.

Steven Schauer (47:43)
So last question then. So imagine we're living in a future where everybody's following that advice and we're all taking the moment to enjoy a moment of barefooted contact with the grass, with the earth. How does it make you feel? How does that future make you feel?

Roy Mason Hudgens (48:05)
Hopeful, yes, hopeful. There's a park near my house and every evening it's unleashed. Dogs are off leash, running into the hills and living their best life. And I sit there with my barefoot and watch all this. And then we do a little body weight workout. And then when they leave, when the sun sets, they take all their dogs. You can feel the ground smiling. I mean, smiling.

from the doggy love and that's my higher power. That's what I feel. That's what I see when we're all sitting in your car barefoot. So hope, yeah.

Steven Schauer (48:45)
Awesome, beautiful. Well, Roy, thank you, my friend. Thank you so much. I look forward to catching up with you again soon, but thank you so much for being on the show and sharing your story. I'm incredibly grateful to know you as a friend, and I'm incredibly grateful that you were willing to share your personal, very personal story on this program. So thank you, Roy.

Roy Mason Hudgens (48:51)
You're welcome.

You're welcome, I love you and I'll send you my gratitude list tomorrow.

Steven Schauer (49:12)
I love you too, man. You'll get my gratitude list as well. Take care, brother. Bye -bye.

Roy Mason Hudgens (49:15)
All right, thanks, bye.

Steven (49:16)
Thank you for joining me for this special encore of stories sustain us featuring the remarkable Roy Hudgens. His journey of resilience, joy and advocacy is a powerful reminder to slow down, stay present and find beauty in life's simplest moments like going barefoot in the grass. As we reflect on Roy's story, let's also remember the importance of global efforts to end the HIV AIDS epidemic and promote health and wellbeing for all.

Stories like Roy's remind us that progress is possible when we come together with compassion and determination. To learn more and find out ways you can get involved, please check out the links in the show notes for the UN Sustainable Development Goals, UN AIDS, and the website for the HIV AIDS Strategy in the United States. I'm so grateful you tuned in to revisit this episode. If you enjoyed it, please share it with someone who might be inspired by Roy's incredible journey.

and subscribe, rate and review Story Sustain Us on your favorite podcast platform. I really appreciate your support. Stay tuned for more highlights from season one as we celebrate the stories that sustain us this holiday season. Next week on December 3rd, there will be an encore performance of my conversation with an inspiring young UK-based activist. Her energy and achievements will undoubtedly motivate you to take action. As always,

This will be available at storiessustainus.com, wherever you listen to podcasts and on YouTube. And don't forget, new episodes of Stories Sustain Us are coming in January when season two is launched. Until next time, I'm Steven Schauer. Please take care of yourself and each other. Take care.