HOW TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND NOT OTHERS!

 FOCUS ON YOURSELF — How to Stop Comparing and Start Believing

In this powerful episode of 3 Point Inspiration, host Bessy Ebule takes you on a transformative journey to reclaim your focus, confidence, and purpose in a world obsessed with comparison.

Discover:

• Why comparing yourself to others limits your true potential
• How focusing on others distracts you from your goals and purpose
• The surprising way comparison kills your self-belief — and how to fight back
• Real-life insights to help you stay in your lane, embrace your uniqueness, and build unshakable confidence

If you've ever felt "behind," "not enough," or lost in someone else's success story, this episode reminds you to refocus on what truly matters: YOU.

 Your journey is unique. Your timing is perfect. And your growth is worth the focus.

 Follow the show and join thousands of others chasing their dreams with courage, resilience, and grit.

Transcript

FOCUS ON YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS

 Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve- Napoleon Hill.

 Your mind can achieve a lot more than you think. But to do this, you must be focused and not compare yourself with others. Comparing yourself with others limits your potential, distracts you, and destroys self-confidence.

 NUMBER ONE: COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS LIMITS YOUR POTENTIAL

 You were born with enormous potential, enough for you to achieve success. That potential may be musical, logical, interpersonal, or whatever.  But you will never achieve your dreams if you only compare yourself with others.

 Let's say you have a classmate who gets all the good grades, wins all the awards, and gets the praise of everyone, but you barely can pass your exams, and you're not very happy with yourself. However, this classmate of yours doesn't get along well with other people and doesn't care. 

You, on the other hand, have interpersonal intelligence. You can understand how people feel and can relate with them in a way that's appropriate for the situation. If your other classmates wanted to pick someone to lead a project, they'd pick you over the other very intelligent one.

While you appreciate their choice, you may also think something is wrong with you because you are not as intelligent as your star classmate. That is a bad mindset.

 Comparison not only stifles creativity and originality, but it also diminishes the value of your unique contributions to the world.

 True success comes from authenticity and self-confidence. But comparison dulls creativity because it makes you afraid to take risks that might not "look" as successful as others. Instead of working on your personal development and honing your uniqueness, you become a shadow of yourself and lose your originality, thinking, "If only I could be like my classmate". You must understand that your neighbour's success has nothing to do with your potential. Focus on your abilities and seize the opportunities that come your way. 

 Comparison breeds discontent. 

When you focus on others, you begin to undervalue yourself. You feel behind when you see peers celebrating career wins, luxurious lifestyles, or seemingly perfect relationships online. But the truth is that comparison rarely accounts for context. You don't have to torture yourself by being discontent with life because of other people's successes. You need to focus on yourself and have a success mindset. 

 Comparison distorts identity.

One of the most damaging effects of comparison is that it causes you to lose sight of your unique strengths, values, and purpose. Instead of embracing who you are, you try to mimic the paths, talents, or lifestyles of others. This copycat mentality can lead to frustration and burnout because you're trying to succeed at being someone you are not to be. You have a specific purpose. Find it.

 In a world dominated by social media highlights and constant performance metrics, comparison has become second nature. We scroll, see, and, almost instantly, measure our lives against others. But while comparison may seem harmless or even motivational, it is one of the most subtle yet powerful forces that can limit a person's growth, peace, and potential.

 EMBRACE YOUR UNIQUENESS

Here's how to solve the problem- embrace your uniqueness. Shift your focus from comparison to celebration- celebrate your wins, personal growth, and challenges because they make you resilient. Develop the discipline of gratitude and the courage to stay in your lane. Staying in your lane means focusing on your own journey, not comparing it to others'. Set your goals based on your values, not someone else's timeline. Instead of competing with others, compete with the person you were yesterday. If you walked 500 metres yesterday, try doing 600 or 700 today. If you could read five pages yesterday, try reading 7 or 8 today and if you could save just $10 last fortnight, try raising it to $15 next fortnight.

 Remember this quote attributed to Albert Einstein: "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.

Don't judge yourself by the abilities or achievements of others; focus on yourself!

 2. NUMBER TWO: FOCUSING ON OTHERS DISTRACTS YOU

 When you focus on others—what they're doing, achieving, wearing, earning, or posting, you become distracted from your path and slow your progress. It's easy to look at someone else's highlight reel and feel you're falling behind. Don't waste your energy being distracted by others. Instead, use your energy to build, grow, and improve yourself.

 Distraction doesn't always come in entertainment—it can also be a life lived to impress others rather than express your God-given abilities. You can become a people-pleaser when your attention is consumed by how others perceive you. You begin to live for their approval instead of your purpose. You say yes to things you should decline, chase dreams that aren't yours, and compromise your values just to fit in. In the process, you lose your authenticity and confidence. 

 No matter how much you like to tell yourself otherwise, your brain can only handle so much input at a time. If you're constantly thinking about what others think, say, or do, you crowd out the clarity needed to plan, create, and take bold action. You'll find yourself overanalysing decisions, hesitating to act, or constantly changing your direction based on someone else's opinion, slows you down and keeps you stuck.

  Every second spent focusing on someone else takes away from your personal development. Time is your most valuable resource. When you spend it watching others live their lives, you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to live yours fully. Growth requires focus. Success demands direction, and you find peace when you are content with your path.

 So, how do you regain your focus?

1. Set personal development goals—Know what you're working toward. When your eyes are on the finish line, it's easier to ignore the noise around you.
2. Limit distractions – Take control of your environment. Unfollow accounts that make you feel small, and avoid conversations that feed insecurity.
3. Practice gratitude. Be thankful for where you are and how far you've come. This will keep you grounded and motivated.
4. Celebrate others without comparing – Someone else's success is not your failure. Learn, don't envy.

 In the end, focus is power. And the moment you stop watching others and start working on yourself is when your true transformation begins.

 3. NUMBER THREE: FOCUSING ON OTHERS MAKES YOU LOSE SELF-CONFIDENCE

 In a world where social media and societal pressure highlight everyone's wins, it's easy to fall into the trap of constantly watching others. We compare lifestyles, measure progress against peers, and quietly ask ourselves, "Am I doing enough?" While staying inspired by others isn't wrong, when your focus shifts from learning to comparing, something dangerous happens—you begin to lose self-confidence.

 The more you focus on how far someone else has gone, the more you second-guess your steps. Every delay in your journey feels like failure, not because you're failing but because someone else seems to be succeeding faster. You ask, "What's wrong with me?" instead of "What can I do to grow?" Over time, this self-doubt becomes a silent enemy that keeps you from taking bold action or trusting your instincts.

 When your energy is focused outward—on what others are doing—you lose touch with your inner voice. You stop hearing your goals, values, and passions because you're too busy to match the noise around you. This misalignment leads to discouragement and confusion. You begin to forget why you started, what makes you unique, and the strengths you already possess.

 Another dangerous effect is the development of a fear-based mindset. Instead of moving with confidence, you start to play it safe. You might avoid trying new things or pursuing big dreams because you fear not measuring up. You hesitate, procrastinate, or even abandon your vision—because somewhere along the line, you've convinced yourself that you don't have what it takes.

 But the truth is, the problem isn't your pace or your progress—it's your perspective.

You should never run someone else's race. Your journey is uniquely yours. Focusing on others won't make you better; focusing on yourself will. The moment you start tuning out the noise and tuning in to your purpose, your self-belief returns.

 Comparison feeds insecurity and doubt.

The more you compare, the more you begin to doubt your capabilities. You start thinking you're not good, smart, or fast enough. That inner dialogue becomes a barrier, keeping you from stepping out and pursuing opportunities. Confidence, which is essential for growth and leadership, is quietly eroded.

 So, how do you reclaim your self-confidence?

• Celebrate small wins – Acknowledge your growth, no matter how slow.
• Practice self-compassion – You're doing better than you think.
• Unfollow to refocus – Limit exposure to anything that feeds insecurity.
• Affirm your identity – Speak life over your purpose and potential. 

Self-belief doesn't come from being better than others—it comes from becoming your best version. Stop watching, start working, and trust that your story is still unfolding.

 Thanks for watching. Please let me know if this episode has inspired you to chase your dreams. Listen to my other episodes for more inspiration to grow your courage, resilience, and grit.

 Always remember, no matter where you are, that if others can do it, you too can, and with God, all things are possible. See you next time. God bless you.