You’re Not Behind in Life. You’re Just Human.

A self-love pep talk for anyone who feels like they’re falling behind. We’re pausing the pressure, getting honest about life, and reminding ourselves that being human means figuring things out as we go.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I have been in the middle of nowhere, no social media, no noise, no distractions. And I feel like I've learned a lot disappearing here for 48 hours, and I want to talk about it in today's episode. So I'm moving overseas in a month. A lot's happening in my life. I feel confused, excited, all these different feelings. And I'm always very honest on this channel. I have spoken about friendship breakups and relationship breakups and moving interstate, you know, ending long distance, and then now I'm gonna go back into long distance. And there's just so much going on. I feel like my brain is always super loud and I wanted to get away. I just want to like be present, you know, and kind of breathe. Speaking of breathing, let's all have a deep breath. Okay, I'm getting cozy. I just wanted to breathe. I feel like the months are going by really quickly because, you know, I'm thinking I'm moving in April and that's a month away, and I'm like, oh my god, the month is gonna fly by. But it's like, holy shit, a month is a long time. Like, imagine we got told you only have a month to live. God forbid you got a terminal illness and you had one month to live. Do you know how much you could do in the one month? I feel like a duck that's treading on water and I'm flapping and flapping and just relax. It's just it's too much. I feel like I'm so fast-paced at the moment, and this is a result of my brain being so loud, predominantly because of social media and that effect it has on me, and it has on all of us, really. And I want to talk about that today. I feel like we are addicted to being busy, a lot of us, not all of us, but a lot of us. I know that's the case for me, because being busy deters me from having to think too much. But there is beauty in being bored and being still and thinking and being present. Like this is really nice right now. Being in nature, slowing down. This is so necessary and this is so needed. And I know that because of my job, it makes it super easy for me to do stuff like this and to just get away and go out into the middle of nowhere. And that might not be the case for a lot of you. So I thought, you know what? I wasn't even planning on filming, but I happen to have all of my stuff in the car, and I thought, let me whip out my camera, let me film, let me talk about what I've been thinking about. Because if you can't be here with me in person, then you can be here with me virtually, and I want to talk about some things. And I hope that you can feel less alone if you relate to anything that I'm saying that I'm about to say, and I hope that this can be sort of like a self-love pep talk to slow down, you know? Sitting with my thoughts can be really confronting. I feel like I've always had really, really high standards for what I want to do in life. And as I get older, I mean I'm gonna be 25 this year. I know for some people that's super young. For me, I feel like a dinosaur right now. Not really because of age, but more so because you really do completely change. Like I feel like I'm in my 20s now. I used to think about this when I was 18. I used to listen to Siz's song 20 something. What did she say? How can it be 20 something all alone? Still not a thing in my name. Ain't got nothing running from love, only no fear. That's me, Miss 20 something. Like that song I used to listen to and think, damn, is it that hard being in your 20s? Yes, it's that hard, bitch. The fuck. You wished for this, you're here. But like, no, seriously though. I wanted to be in my 20s so bad. Like, I don't know what I thought it would be giving. I thought I would have so much money in my bank account, all of the answers to life, a clear idea of what my future looked like. Like, that is what I expected from my 20s. And now I'm sitting here, I'm almost halfway through my 20s, and I've realized this is so chaotic. I'm convinced we never fully figure it out because I have friends in their 30s and above, and they're still figuring it out too. But I'm telling you, the 20s is like the trenches. And I find that a lot of people on the social media, especially in their 20s, are constantly chasing dopamine. They're chasing, you know, traveling and new friends and new relationships, and it's just jumping one thing to another. And I think it's because sitting and being still and kind of being confronted by the fact that you don't know what you're doing, you're lost, you're confused, life is scary, life is weird. Those things are way too difficult to think about. So instead, let's chase this, this, and that, you know. But that's really dangerous because then we have the paradox of choice. And with the paradox of choice, when you are constantly being shown a million different opportunities, a million different lifestyles you could live and things you could do and people you could be with, then you are never going to be happy. And I've noticed this one million percent for myself. I now wholeheartedly actually do believe that if I got everything I wanted tomorrow, I would be happy, but it would probably wear off in a few months because you need purpose, you need fulfillment, you need to be chasing things. It's nice to chase things. And so if you can change your mindset from why don't I have what I want, why am I not where I want, be grateful that you have a dream and that you actually can chase it. Because there are a lot of people out there that cannot chase the things that they want. They don't have that luxury. Okay, what we're complaining about is maybe I don't have enough money saved up, I keep spending, or you know, oh my god, that guy that I want doesn't like me back, or that car that I wanted to buy got sold. These are not real problems. Being out here, I've realized most of the things that we stress about don't actually matter. I feel like when we're constantly in our normal environment, everything feels urgent. Replying to messages immediately, drama, social media, how many likes have you gotten? But the things that might feel like a complete emergency on Monday is irrelevant by Wednesday. And so the reason I bring that up is to just say it's never really that deep. Truly, it never is. Slowing down and realizing that it's not that serious, like you can live your life, you can go on a trip and be present and enjoy it, and you don't have to post it to show anyone. Listen, I love posting things. I love posting things, it's my job, I enjoy it, I enjoy filming and posting and whatever, but also it is really overwhelming, and I never will be able to do enough. I have a million ideas, and I'm okay with the fact that like I cannot be everything at once. There are so many things that I want to do. I can't do every single thing that I want to do. I won't be able to. And that's something that I've just come to terms with. Sometimes subconsciously, I start to fall into this, but I can, I can do everything, and I need everything. But it's like, no, you can't. And you have to be grateful and you have to slow down. Like, I think when we're young, we think about traveling, and it's like, of course I'll travel the world. Of course I'll see Egypt and go to the pyramids and go to Africa and do a safari and do this and do that and see Antarctica. Like, it's just endless opportunities, and of course you're going to achieve everything that you want. Hello. That's just not how it works. You know what I'm realizing? There are things that I have been able to see, places I've been that other people haven't been able to go to. There are friends that I've made that other people haven't been able, you know, to have a friendship that feels that way, exactly that way. Those inside jokes that are between me and my friend. And there are so many things in my life that have been unique, you know, just for me to experience. Despite the fact that lots of people out there feel it. They feel love in many different fonts and different ways. I have experienced a love in my own way. I've experienced things in my own life, and I'm grateful for that. And that's something that I want you to realize is that you can't do everything, but there are so many things that you will do that will be special. And if you just take a moment to appreciate the fact that you've been able to do that in your own way, you're gonna feel so much better in life because it's so easy to compare and just think, okay, on to the next, the next thing, the next thing. And it's like, no, just enjoy it, just be present. We are all so addicted to stimulation. Being out here, I've realized how much I reach out for my phone. My phone is right here right now. I mean, I do have some notes I want to talk about, and that's why it's here, but I realize that half the time I'm not even actually bored, I'm just uncomfortable with silence. Usually, okay, this time of day, the sun going down, for some reason, I don't know why this is, usually it makes me feel quite depressed. I don't know. The day is done and it's quite nostalgic and it's a really nostalgic time. And before I started taking antidepressants, I'm on SSRIs, it's a serotonin booster because my body just naturally doesn't produce as much serotonin as it does for other people, and that can leave me, you know, having meltdowns and crying a lot and whatever. Anyway, before I got medicated, I would cry all the time during this time, you know, the sun going down. I think it's because I was just alone with all of my thoughts, and that is a really scary place to be. You know, there are so many thoughts and there are so many feelings that I would have, and just reflecting on the day and life in general, and like what I want out of life and what's to come and what's happened, and none of this serves me. I know it's so much easier said than done to be present, but like the more you get comfortable with sitting in silence, reading a book, doing things by yourself on a Saturday night, even, the more you practice those things, the more you will get comfortable in life in general. You can't run away all the time. You're gonna have to be faced with these feelings and these realities. And bad things are gonna happen. That's just life. But good things happen too. And the same way that when we're happy and then it goes away and you get sad, the same thing happens in reverse. When we're sad, it goes away and then we get happy again, and that's just life. That's just its ups and downs, you know. But have you ever had a friend or like known someone that always has a new boyfriend or always has so many friends? Okay, instead of having a few really good quality friends, they have quantity. There's a lot of people around them. Those people are actually often the people that are most uncomfortable being alone. They can't thrive alone. And they would never admit it, and from the outside it wouldn't look like it. Oh, that person's great. You know, they've got so many friends and they're always doing things. What's that Taylor Swift lyric? A friend to all is a friend to none. Look, I don't necessarily believe that, I just like that lyric, but the truth is it really is about quality. If you have a good relationship with yourself, you're good at being alone, you can understand yourself well enough, you're introspective, you're okay with being sad and then happy and just riding the wave when it comes to life, and you have really good quality friends, people that know you, people that have your back. If shit hit the fan and you needed to borrow a thousand bucks, these people would try and be there for you. If they had it, they would send it to you. That's what you need. That's important. That's what I've realized. I have struggled my whole life with just wanting to be popular, wanting to have so many friends. I mean, I always say there is probably a tinge of like some kind of selfishness, I don't know, some kind of like yearning to be seen, for me to be an influencer. And I think any content creator is sort of in the same boat. They would never admit it, but it's like a very shallow job. And there is this part of us that wants to be loved and seen, and I think it comes from insecurity. But like now I'm introspective enough to understand that. So I realize I don't need to have that many friends, I just need to have good quality friends. I don't need to be the most famous person on the world, I just need to leave my mark, you know, when it comes to my YouTube or whatever it is I plan on doing. I need just those few people that really enjoy it. That person that comes to me whenever I create my first album because I love music and says, oh my god, I I love that song you made. Like I listen to it all the time. That's what's important. I recently did a meet and greet in New York and a bunch of girls came and just like seeing them in person, like that's what matters, truly. I wouldn't change where I'm at for anything, you know what I mean? So, anyway, that's my rant on that. I also really quickly wanted to talk about how I truly believe that none of us are behind in life and you can restart anytime. So, after finishing this video, if you truly wanted to completely change the course of your life, you can. Just because you live in a certain place, have a certain job, have a certain partner or friends, it doesn't mean you're stuck there. In fact, it's actually good to change. What's that saying? A boat was never built to just be stuck at the harbor. It's built to go and, you know, be free, be in the water. Like that's literally what boats are made for. People as human beings, we need change. The definition of insanity is just sitting there and doing the same thing over and over. That is literally the definition of insanity in the dictionary. Look it up. If you feel like you're behind in life, I need you to hear this. You're not. You might just need some change. You need to be brave, you need to go for exactly what it is that you want. I truly believe that we are given the dreams and the goals that we have because they chose us. But it's like, are you brave enough to actually go for that thing? Because life will pass by and it's really up to you. Okay, you're not just gonna wake up one day and be everything that you want to be. You are supposed to chase that, and that's probably why you feel behind in life because you're scared, but there's no point of being scared. Being scared does nothing for you. I always say, you know, you have to shoot your shot because you're one step closer to actually achieving something that way than nothing. And if you sit around and do nothing, you will never achieve anything. And so you have to kill your ego, okay? Life isn't a race, it's just a path, and it can feel really scary, it can feel really confusing, but it's all for a reason. Bad things are going to happen, but everything is always going to be okay in the end. I mean, look at us. Like if you were sitting right here on this chair, just picture it, with me, and I asked you about the hardest thing you've ever gone through in life, do you know what? This might be a little bit depressing. No, this is empowering. I want you to comment in the comments the hardest thing you've ever gone through because I want to read what everyone's been through, and I want all of us to sort of be there for each other. Because if you are sitting here right now and you told me about the hardest thing you've ever been through, I would say, damn, that's crazy, but also you got through it though. And so you can get through anything, you will get through anything. Maybe here and there you'll have a bad week, you'll have a bad day, you'll have a bad month or a bad year, but it's not a bad life. But you can always restart, you can change, you can pick up the pace, you know. We're just always gonna be evolving and growing, and yeah, that's it's really important to remember that I don't think you will ever fully have it figured out. I mean, even people that have made it, like you look at like Ariana Grande and her career, for example, and some would think, she's made it. Why doesn't she just like go and chill? Why is she like doing so much? Why is she trying to act and being wicked and blah blah? I don't hold this belief, by the way, but like I'm just saying, some people might perceive it that way. It is because just because for us, she's made it, quote unquote, for her, that's that like you don't just make it and then that's it. You just sit around and retire. Like for some people, they need to be busy, they want to chase doing things and feeling passionate. Having passion is what keeps me alive. Without passion, I wouldn't be able to exist and be happy and want to get up and film and do any of this. I wouldn't want to do anything if I wasn't passionate. So that's the truth. The truth is we are always gonna be chasing different things, okay? Even when you get what you want, you're gonna be chasing something else. So why not just slow down and be in the moment and try to enjoy things right now? Okay. Anyway, I love you so much. This will be on Spotify so that you can re-listen to this whenever you want, because I feel like this was a good episode. I'm gonna go inside, maybe read a book, have a tea, and yeah, I hope you liked today's episode.