Rethinking Online Interactions for True Support

Have you ever found yourself spiraling into an emotional reaction because of a social media post? I certainly have, and it’s a wild ride. In this episode of Life Unfolded, we explore the emotional turbulence that comes with our online interactions. Triggered by a seemingly innocuous quote on Facebook, I dive into a reflection on the dangers of online validation, how easily we can project our personal experiences onto others' posts, and the risk of enabling harmful behavior. Through my personal story, I underscore the importance of taking a moment to breathe and think critically before engaging in online debates.

We further discuss how social media inflates our sense of self-importance and provides a misleading sense of community and agreement. By analyzing my own reactions and the broader implications of these digital interactions, I encourage listeners to seek genuine connections and deeper understanding over surface-level validation. If you've ever felt the sting of misunderstanding in an online space or struggled with the false sense of support that social media can create, this episode will resonate with you. Let's navigate this digital minefield together and learn how to foster true connection and empathy in our online worlds.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:00

Hello and welcome back to Life Unfolded. Yesterday I was scrolling through Facebook and it did not take long for me to feel triggered by a post and I spent some time kind of thinking on it, like should I jump in on this conversation or not, and dwelled on it for longer than I should have Went on to the next one. It did not take long, a couple posts down. Oh my gosh, there's something else like that I hit the hide button on and the first post I guess I'm trying to decide which direction to go with this there's, I'm just going to take a little. We're just going to like go down a cul-de-sac real quick and then come back to the street we're walking down, if that makes sense. So this first post that was triggering for me was some it was like a quote, but like words made into a JPEG or a PNG, like a word graphic, right, and these are so common now, and you can find a phrase or a saying that backs up whatever it is you're feeling or experiencing, even if it wasn't written in that context or like meant for that certain situation, and so I think it's just caused, perhaps like false validation or like an inflated sense of self or entitlement or enabling unhealthy beliefs. And so I'm just going to tell you what this phrase was, and it doesn't have anything to do with the person who shared it. I've seen this phrase or this statement floating around before, and it was. One of the biggest mistakes in life is to allow yourself to be recruited by someone to hate another human being who has never wronged you. Only fools inherit other people's enemies as some weird sign of loyalty Bold statement. In a lot of situations, that's probably true. What was triggering for me was I wrote it in my notes. I do this sometimes, and I think that's important. If you're healing from hurts to, before you put it on the internet, type it out in your notes, because maybe that's enough to get it out of your system. But this is what I was thinking. This was my thought on that post. Maybe in some instances, but in my experience I could have avoided abuse, ptsd and ongoing fallout if I'd paid more attention to what others shared and avoided someone instead of giving the benefit of the doubt multiple times. I also wish others had been more vocal and specific about their experiences earlier on too. I think it shows wisdom to heed warnings. Maybe it's not recruiting hate or inheriting enemies but trying to protect others or choosing to avoid harm. Well, I never experienced that from them is one of the biggest abuse enabling sentences. Just another perspective, and oh my gosh, I'm going to say that statement again. Well, I've never experienced that from them is one of the biggest abuse enabling sentences.

Speaker 1: 4:12

Anyways, so you can see how where we're having issues in our society today is that you can put a statement on the internet and like, just because it said with some sort of authority, the person who shared this is probably thinking of a totally different situation that they're going through. But I related it to what I'm going through. And so then I'm thinking like, do I start this debate with these like conflicting, like it's not even anything to do with why they shared it, doesn't have anything to do with why I shared it, so we'd be talking about two different things, if that makes sense. And so I think where this comes up with, like the inflated sense of self-importance or the false support, is I can post or share like some statement thinking of one situation in my mind, and then I see the likes and the hearts come in and I'm like, oh see, everyone agrees with me, I'm totally right, my opinion's right. But all these people who are liking and loving or laughing or angry, whatever, are reading that through the lens of their own perspective and unique experiences. They don't know necessarily what you're trying to say behind that, if that makes sense. So then it's like you're like oh, all these people agree with me, my opinion is correct, and all these people are just thinking like, oh, this relates to what I'm going through. Yeah, I get that, and it's totally different. And so with social media we feel like we have this support, this community, this connection, but we are so much more disconnected, not even physically in the sense that we don't meet up or like do phone calls anymore, but like disconnected in our thoughts. Where we're, we're not even thinking about the same thing and feel like we're encouraging one another or somebody else is encouraging and supporting me, when they're not even on the same wavelength. And so now we've exited the cul-de-sac and we're back on our walking path. It's been kind of a recurring theme.

Speaker 1: 6:17

It keeps coming up, these issues around social media and negative, unhealthy impact on our society, on our culture. It comes up in podcasts I listen to, like one that I really like to listen to is Motivation by Brendan Burchard or Motivation, with Brendan Burchard, something that he said in an episode I listened to today which is called I'm looking it up right now so I can tell you why you Need Grace and Compassion in your Life and he was talking about how social media is conditioning us, or has conditioned us, has been conditioning us, to make quick judgments. You see a post, you decide do I like this? Do I want to like this? Do I want to comment on this? Do I not like this Scroll? And you're like making all these really quick, fast judgments at a pace that we've like never done before, and so it just makes us more judgmental, more critical, more like arrogant, I guess, more egotistical, and it's making us less patient and less gracious with the people around us. And okay, so here's another way that this has shown up for me.

Speaker 1: 7:25

Recently, I was looking up quotes related to a video project that I'm working on for a client and found like three quotes that I really liked. Well, I didn't recognize two of the names and one of them was unknown. So it just feels kind of funny, like I mean, I've done it before sharing a quote by somebody. I have no idea who they are, but I I like, I guess, in good conscience or integrity, like to at least have an idea of the person I'm sharing words from. You know, maybe it's just me, but anyways. So I looked it up and this person well, let me read you the quote first. So I'm doing a video for the boys and girls club, their annual auction, and so I was looking up quotes about children and the future of a community. So this particular quote was children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. And that was written by a man named Neil Postman. I was like, who is Neil Postman? I don't know who this person is Before I like put this in a video on a screen or ask somebody to read it. Let me look it up.

Speaker 1: 8:41

Neil Postman was an American author, educator, media I said that weird educator, media theorist and cultural critic who eschewed digital technology, including personal computers, mobile devices and cruise control in cars, and was critical of uses of technology such as personal computers in school. He's written books such as Amusing Ourselves to Death, the Disappearance of Childhood, and one that I just ordered and I'm excited to read Technopoly. Technopoly the Surrender of Culture to Technology, is a book by Neil Postman, published in 1992 that describes the development and characteristics of a technopoly. Written in 1992, can you imagine what his perspective would be now if he wrote that in 2024? I feel like this is going to be a read that is way ahead of its time, or is just like timeless, and becomes more and more important as time goes on. So I look forward to sharing my thoughts on that with you. So I look forward to sharing my thoughts on that with you.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Now, this is where the conflict is for me with social media. I run a business, I'm trying to grow a business, and for the last several years, if you were going to reach anybody, you got to. I mean with advertising. You got to advertise where your target audience is right the people you're trying to sell to. What are they going to be looking at, listening to, watching, so you can get your products or your services in front of them? Well, so many people have social media accounts, and so it's become a thing Like if you have a business, you need to have a social media presence, and I do this. If your social media is not up to date, you're probably going to lose out on clients, especially the younger demographics, because that's like our search engine. Now, if I am interested in visiting a restaurant, I look them up on Instagram because I want to see nice pictures of what they have to offer on their menu and if they haven't updated in a year, well, I'm going to go find another restaurant.

Speaker 1: 10:47

Like you have to be relevant, and so this is where it's been tough for me, and even on my personal page. It's like when I do get to a point that I want to share something for my business page, you got to have enough engagement so that way your posts show up. Page. You got to have enough engagement so that where your posts show up, because if you don't post consistently, you lose priority in the newsfeed, because it's the algorithm, the ever changing algorithm, by the way. So when you're listening to this, it could be totally different, but as of right now, if you're not active and engaged, you will lose your place in the newsfeed. So it's like you kind of have to keep posting and there's all this pressure around it and sometimes it just feels mindless or it's like strategic.

Speaker 1: 11:30

It's not just genuine sharing, it's I have to do this so my business posts and like marketing posts will be seen, but I am noticing more of a shift in mindset around social media. I mean, I don't. I'm not necessarily seeing it in waves, but I have seen more mindfulness around it. I suppose, around it, I suppose, and I feel like we're entering into this space as business owners or entrepreneurs someone who needs to promote something where maybe social media isn't the best place to be advertising. If it goes away suddenly, how are you going to contact your folks? So this is why, in the digital marketing world, growing an email list is crucial, or building your own online community, like through your website or through an app.

Speaker 1: 12:24

But I'm also wondering about other avenues for advertising. Are people starting to go out more? Are they starting to go to events or community activities? And those are the places we should be putting our content out. These are just questions I'm asking. I don't necessarily have the answers, nor do I expect you to respond back with them, unless you want to share insights. I'm down to have a conversation about it.

Speaker 1: 12:50

So, all this to say, I've been in a little bit of a conflict when it comes to social media and I've been considering taking a pause on my personal Facebook account and just maintaining my business profiles, my singing Instagram and then my productions Instagram and Facebook and kind of like lumping all those posts together in some way, if that makes sense, and just taking a detox because, like I was saying at the beginning of this episode, how quickly it can affect our mindset and our outlook and our perception of others or the world, and not necessarily for the best, is pretty frightening, and I don't think that's a healthy way to live. I don't think we should be obsessing over what's being shared on social media. I mean, I'm curious to see after doing a detox, like how much quieter my mind is, what my anxiety level is level is, if I'm sleeping better, if I have less insecurities and fears. Comparison, and it's hard to just say, yep, I'm doing it, I am taking a pause because it is addictive.

Speaker 1: 14:10

That dopamine hit is real and it's powerful. You log in and you feel like, oh, people love me, people like what I shared or people like what I'm doing with my business. Is it genuine, though, or is it just a scroll, click, scroll, click, scroll, click. Like it's not genuine? A lot of the times, just an afterthought. They click, scroll, forget, and is there any real impact left? And is there any real impact left? Well, this concludes our walk down one of the many avenues in my brain. I thank you for joining me today. Talk to you next time.