Rewriting the Story of “Not Enough” with Tracee Dahlke

What happens when the life you thought you were meant to live suddenly shifts?

In this episode of Life Unfolded, I sit down with Tracee Dahlke, founder of PMA Med Spa, to talk about the unexpected turns that shape who we become. From earning a full-ride dance scholarship to not being invited back to the dance team the following year, Tracee shares how that moment left her feeling lost—and how it ultimately redirected her toward a deeply fulfilling career in healthcare and aesthetics.

We dive into the real, unfiltered journey behind her success, including navigating self-worth, breaking patterns in relationships, starting a business without a background in business, and learning to set boundaries in a life built around serving others.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that what feels like failure can actually be redirection—and that you’re allowed to evolve, pivot, and choose yourself at any stage of life.

If you’ve ever felt lost, behind, or unsure of your next step, this episode will meet you right where you are.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Losing your identity and rebuilding it from the ground up 
•  How childhood experiences shape self-worth—and how to rewrite that story 
•  Career pivots, burnout, and finding purpose in helping others 
•  The reality of entrepreneurship and overcoming imposter syndrome 
•  Setting boundaries and creating a life that supports your well-being 
•  Why your worth is not determined by who chooses you 

“Sometimes what feels like the worst thing that could happen is actually leading you exactly where you’re meant to be.”

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https://www.pmamedspa.com/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back to Life Unfolded. Today I am joined by Tracy Dahlke, MSN APRN FNPC. She's a board certified family nurse practitioner and the founder of PMA MedSpa in Lebanon, Oregon, which she launched in 2019. With over a decade of experience in healthcare, Tracy combines her background in primary care and hormone therapy with a passion for aesthetics and wellness to deliver results-driven personalized treatments. Known for her meticulous approach and commitment to patient education, she specializes in injectables, hormone therapy, and advanced aesthetic services, helping clients feel confident in their own skin. As a certified aesthetic trainer and medical director, Tracy's dedicated not only to her clients, but also to mentoring other providers and safe ethical practices. Her mission is to create a safe space where science, beauty, and self-care come together to support overall confidence and well-being. And today we get to hear her story. Welcome, Tracy.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Hello, Melody. Thank you for having me. I'm honored to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, I'm really excited that you're here. And I just love everything that you've done at PMA. It's really impressive of your team and the space and all the services you offer in the town of Lebanon. So I'm excited to hear more about what got you here. So why don't we start, I guess, from the beginning, who were you growing up? What were your passions? And are you doing what you thought you would be doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Well, I guess, I mean, I've always been like an overachiever from really young age. Dancing was my overall passion when I was very young. I danced my whole life, loved it. It was, I thought I was gonna be doing that for the rest of my life, but things did not turn out that way. I think my overachiever attitude came from wanting to prove that I was good enough. I think a lot of that came from my biological dad not really being part of my life. My stepdad is my dad. He raised me, he shaped me, and he's a huge part of who I am today. But as a kid, I didn't really understand why my biological dad didn't want anything to do with me. Now I see things differently. It wasn't about me. He just didn't have the capacity to show up the way a parent should. And I've made peace, peace with that. But I've also learned that your biological family isn't always your chosen family, and that's totally okay. But yeah, like me as a little girl, I wanted to get my dad's attention. And so I tried my hardest in school and dance, uh, straight A's, dance team captain when I was a freshman in high school. So I did everything I could to be noticed, I think, by my biological dad. And not until later in life did I realize I was, you know, gripping at strings that weren't there, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

That's a a really healthy way to grapple with that. It sounds like you've done the work to realize that what happened as a kid doesn't affect your your value as a person. And I love what you said about your biological family. Doesn't have to be your chosen family, and and you get to choose now.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Yeah. I mean, I it took me a long time. I definitely had issues as in my young 20s grappling with that, not feeling good enough, not feeling, you know, loved or appreciated, and probably dated a lot of men that were emotionally, not probably, did date men that were emotionally unavailable because that's kind of what I thought my self-worth was, you know? And you just grow and learn that you are worth it and to choose yourself. So it takes time, it takes growth, inner growth.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah, for sure. I'd actually love to hear more about where you are with that now and what were some of the things that I guess led you to start doing that work.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Well, I guess just living. And, you know, as we grow up and we have our own personal hardships from, you know, either successes or failures, you start to kind of figure out who you are. And I realized that I was strong, independent, proud of what I was becoming, and just learned that, you know, these these feelings that I held on to for so long that were bringing me down were not worth keeping. Like it was time to let those things go in order for me to, you know, move on in life and and have a happy marriage and all of those things. It's just a a life lesson that you eventually learn, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Yeah. So where was the drift from like the dance team to where you ended up now?

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Well, I got a full ride dance scholarship to Hawaii Pacific University when I was 18, which is a huge high. I'm in the hall of fame of my high school for being the first girl to get a full ride dance scholarship from a very small town. So, and that was just like the start of my life. Like, I thought, I mean, I just thought I was unstoppable. It was just the best high ever. And the following year, I wasn't asked to go back on the dance team. And that was absolutely devastating. Like I completely felt lost. I just dancing was my whole entire life. And so when that happened, I was so ashamed. I felt like such a failure that I didn't even know how to like really come back from it. I did, but I felt like I was numb and kind of like in a bad dream. I wasn't wrapping my head around how devastating it was for me. I was just kind of like still trying to achieve things. I transferred to University of Hawaii at Manoa. I studied fashion. And like everything I thought my life was going to be just disappeared. So even though I liked fashion and I was, I was pursuing that and I graduated with that, I still felt that little bit of emptiness without dancing. And I was even too afraid to, you know, become a dance teacher. Like people thought, why aren't you teaching dance? Well, it was just such a heartbreak of mine. I felt like I couldn't even go to that level without it just like tearing me down. So I never became a dance coach. I kind of regret that now that I'm older and like, why couldn't you just get over yourself and and do something that you loved so much? But I just I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I would say that was a breaking point for me was was losing my dance scholarship. But, you know, again, life lessons has led me to where I am now. Now I'm a nurse, and uh fashion is my first degree, and I still dress kind of cute, I guess, but that school alone is uh still paying on that one.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Well, I will say you do have the best dress team for sure. Your outfits and all the coordinating that you do. I can definitely see that.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Yeah, and I feel like with it, it wasn't just that one moment. It was more like a series of realization. After I graduated with my degree in fashion, I felt like this huge void, like something was missing. And that's when I finally realized that I wasn't being fulfilled because I wasn't helping people in a meaningful way. Like, even though I graduated with fashion, I wasn't even designing clothes or helping people in that type of emotional well, you know, atmosphere. I was working at Florida Excel in Hawaii selling party supplies as a buyer. Like it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be. And that's when everything really shifted for me, and I decided to go back to school and pursue nursing. And that just started me on a completely different path. And that was a long road. Like I was already graduated with my first degree, and I went back. I started as a CNA, then got my LPN, then my ADN, then my BSN, then finally my F and P C. So it was a long, hard road. Um my husband of 10 years, he's been with me since the LPN status, like stage. So he's he's been with me through all of it. And man, has that been a journey. Now it feels like forever ago, because I've been at FNP now for five years. But yeah, that was a long path to get to where I am now.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Yeah, it sounds like it. And you definitely have a lot of grit. I can still pick up on that, like the overachiever, the the drive that you have.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah, I went to high school for what or went to school for 12 years, and then I went to college for 14.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

I don't recommend it. That's amazing. I mean, I definitely did not have the guts to do that. So the fact that you went and pushed through, even despite everything that you'd been through, like you're a fighter. Well, thank you. Was there well, we kind of already talked about a major life event, which was the dance team. And then feeling like you weren't fulfilled because you weren't helping people. So, what what made you there's so many directions you could have gone in. What made you pick nursing?

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Well, honestly, it was my classmate, or well, not my classmate, I'm sorry, my roommate of seven years. She was a nurse, and she would come home from her shift and just talk about how amazing she felt and how you know the stories of helping these babies. She was in the NICU. And I just saw her light up and she just felt so happy in her job. And I was like, I don't feel that way. I don't care about party supplies. Like, this is am I gonna spend the rest of my life doing this job like this? And so seeing her just love her job is kind of what made me do it. And I didn't think I could. I was like, I'm a fashionable girl, like I like pretty things. Like I should have gone to cosmetics, like, you know, that that route, but I didn't. So that's when I, you know, enrolled as a CNA to see if I could even do the bare, you know, the basic level of nursing, or if I would be grossed out by feeding tubes and stuff like that. So once I did my CNA training, I was like, oh, this isn't bad at all. I just feel like I'm helping people, like I'm not grossed out by any of these blood stuff, which caught me by surprise. And so I just said, you know what, I think I can do this, and I just did it.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Yeah, cool. So you just you just pick something.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Sometimes that's what you have to do, is just pick a direction.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

And you, I mean, you can always redirect in life, like it's not necessarily you can say it's a failure or something like that, but as I've gotten older and all the things I've been through, it's like it's not a failure, it's a lesson learned. And you can now redirect your life and do something wild, like you got a divorce. Okay, that sucks. You're gonna have to feel it, you're gonna have to go through it. But now look at the new opportunities you have to find, you know, a better person or a different career path, or you know, all these things that you you're now open to when something bad happens, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Yeah, for sure. I like that perspective. Like there's always an opportunity, even in challenges.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Yeah, just redirect and do something. I mean, there's just so many doors open to you. And if you fail at that, you know, redirect and choose another one. There's so many things. I mean, I would love to be a detective. I would love to be so many things. I wouldn't mind being a lawyer. Like, there's so many things that if if nursing didn't work out for me, I'd be like, all right, I'm playing to law school.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Like, oh my gosh, more school. You're wild. So I guess I could kind of connect the dots between your love of fashion and getting into aesthetics from nursing, but I don't want to make any assumptions. So why don't you tell me how you got into where you are now?

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Assume away, because you are 100% correct. I am a creative person and I love beauty and I love, you know, pretty things and makeup. Like I'm very girly. And after being in the real world of nursing forever, I mean nothing about it is necessarily like, you know, aesthetic. It is all in primary care, women's health, labor and delivery. And so after a while, I just got really burnt out on actual nursing. Like it is a very hard job. And regardless of where you're at in it, it can it can be very draining on you. You're just giving so much every day to other people, and you don't get a lot back from it. A lot of people that are sicker in the hospital or even in primary care, they're mad about insurance, they're mad about being a diabetic, they're mad about this, and they take it out on the staff. Like it's uh we cause that, you know. And so after a while, you just get really burnt out on nursing. And I think nursing burnout is a huge, huge thing. And I was getting my lashes done, and this esthetician told me that there's a school in Portland that trains medical providers, uh, nurses and NPs and MDs on aesthetics because it's very hard to get in plastic surgery. Like those jobs are coveted. You get like free surgery. Come on, there's not gonna be openings in any of those places. And so I reached out, they had been open. It's it was Pacific Northwest Aesthetics Academy. And I think they had been open for about two years when I enrolled in 2019. And I got trained, and both of those trainers are still part of my life today. And I just opened up the business and went with it.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Were they mentors for you in starting your business too? Yes, I mean that, yes, very much so.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

But it was also extremely hard because guess what? I did not go to school for business. So running a business has been one of the biggest challenges, I think. Still to this day, I have half the time I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing because I don't. I've never, I mean, I guess I do. I'm I I know what I'm doing because I have a successful business and I have now for seven years and I've expanded from single just me to now I have two advanced estheticians, I have two registered nurses, I have a receptionist, I have I'm the medical director to four other nurses that own their own business. So, like I I know what I'm doing, but I still like if I've I I've never managed a business before. So I'm still learning to this day. There's so much growth to be had and things to learn because running a business is very hard. And you just I applied for LLC, got my tax EIN, and rented a place and started doing it on the side until I was going to get my F and P and I had to do my residency, and I couldn't work my normal nursing job as well. So I was the whole time I was in aesthetics for the first three years, I still had a full-time job. I just did it on the side. And that's very hard. You don't make money in aesthetics when you're doing it part-time. It takes a long time to build your clientele, build trust in these people. And in the beginning, with any specialty, you don't know a lot. You know the basic foundation of what you're trained, but there's so much more to learn. And in aesthetics is like this ever-evolving world of new development from things that were cool in 2019, or not like you don't even do it anymore, you know, because they've learned so much, because it's just evolving so much.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

I can imagine that is it's just such a rapidly evolving industry. How would you say that you overcome I guess we could call it imposter syndrome? Like because you've still pushed through and you've built this successful business, even though you know you didn't go to business school. What are some ways that you keep your mindset sharp and stay focused?

SPEAKER_02 16:54

I mean, that is well, I think that's just a little bit a little bit of my overachieverness in me. Like I'm such a perfectionist that I can't stop trying or working hard. Like I don't, I don't know how. But that is something I'm trying to actually change. This year, I am more aware now that I give so much to other people that it's time to really give back to myself. And so that's part of the point or the reason why I'm growing my business and adding in employees because I cannot do it alone anymore. I'm just, I cannot do it anymore. Like I have to put my health first at some point and take care of my own mental health, physical health instead of just, you know, working all day, coming home, working all night on my computer. Like it's just nonstop when you're running a business. And my business is hard because it's not only just a business, it's taking care of people. And I have people's, you know, happiness in my hands. And it's not just Botox and fillers. I'm helping people with hormone therapy. And some of these ladies have felt bad for so long, and now I'm their hormones are balanced and they've lost, you know, 50 pounds and they feel like their best self. So I hope I hold all that responsibility of making sure that I make people feel as good as they they can. And sometimes I don't do that. Like one time I gave a girl Botox and she started crying because she felt so heavy at her post op or two-week post-appointment that she was like devastated and thought this was the worst thing that could ever happen to her. So even though there's a lot of good things and I'm helping people, a lot of people don't know anything about aesthetics, and they come in and they expect you to do these things for them, and you do them, and then they are unhappy with the results. So it's like a lot of back and forth. And so, any of those patients that are unhappy with anything that happens to them, like I take that to bed, yeah, I have issues sleeping because I just feel horrible that that was not my intention or my goal. You know, I'm sorry I made your eyebrows feel heavy. That was not my intent. So that's all hard as well. So, with the point I'm trying to get at is I'm spy, I'm spiraling here now, is that I need to, in order to grow, I'm at capacity by myself. So, in order to grow, I have to build a team that my current patients trust. If I take a day off, that my business is not going to run into the ground, that I can take a vacation, and that my staff can hold down the fort, like that's where I'm moving to or trying to this year is really get a strong team underneath me so that I can go to the gym, for example. Like I would like to, you know, work less, not 24-7 seven days a week. I would like to be able to sleep in knowing that medication's gonna get refilled. This patient's gonna be reached out to by my staff. I don't have to be sitting there looking at my computer and my phone to respond to people 24-7, 8 p.m. when they're texting me, it's Saturday, Sunday when they're texting me. Like I'm trying to teach myself boundaries. And if you're my friend and my patient, don't text my cell phone about medication refills. That's not the proper channel. So I'm trying to not only give myself boundaries, but teach my friends boundaries as well. Like, you guys, it's 8 p.m. on a Saturday. Did you have to text me about your medication that you need refilled right now? I'm gonna forget because you text my personal phone and I'm out to dinner with my husband. Like, so I'm trying to teach myself, uh, my staff to hold me accountable to that too, is boundaries. Like, do not let me respond to patients on Saturday night. And so they are they're learning to tell me no, we're closed, they can wait. That's this is not an emergency, they can wait. So one day we will address their concern, you know. So that's currently the stage I'm in right now, and that's what I'm trying to to do this year.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah, I think that's really really cool that you're able to do that. And it takes humility too to ask other people to hold you accountable. Like, hey, I know I struggle with this and I need your help. And like being able to trust a team with your baby, you know, that's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

That they have my back and that they I'm going to Mexico soon. And I hope that they, you know, I can't do much from Mexico. So they're gonna have to hold the fort down for me.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

I yeah, I'm sure they're gonna be awesome. And I'm glad that you're able to go and take a break because you do put a lot into to everything. So, what is feeling aligned in your life today? Like, what are you most proud of becoming?

SPEAKER_02 21:54

I would say that I'm most proud of becoming a Woman who knows herself. I think that that's something that all of us struggle with. Our identity, who we are after a hardship. I want to be the best wife I can be. I want to be the best friend I can be. I want to be the best provider I can be, and the best boss. And I'm a very nice boss. But I think in this season of life, I just want to be the best version of myself. I want to let go of things that are silly, that bother me. And I just want to move forward with growing my business to the point where I can step back and just be the CEO role and have it functioning without me so that I can step away and, you know, take a severance, take some time off, so that I can wake up, go to the gym, go to church, you know, find my inner peace. That's what I'm that's my goal.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

So, what would you say to someone who's in the middle of it? Someone who feels kind of stuck or lost, or maybe has experienced something similar to what you did with you know the way they saw their life going just changed.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

What would you what would be your advice? I would say you're not broken and you're not behind.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

And that some some sometimes the things that feel like failures are actually, like I said before, redirections. You know, when I lost dancing, I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to me. And now I can see that it led me exactly where I'm supposed to be. And so for someone out there who is struggling with their identity or where to go in life, like just take a moment, sit with yourself and redirect. Do something you've always wanted to do and you were too afraid to do it. Like, let's change this hardship to something amazing. And, you know, if it doesn't work out, redirect again. It's okay to change who you are, even in your 30s, even in your 40s. It's okay to change what you're doing. Like it's totally fine. Happiness, you only have this one life and it's very, very short. So if you're unhappy, change. Simple as that.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Not simple, but that's my advice. Yeah. Simply stated. Harder to do, but like but worth it. Do you still dance? Do you ever dance for fun or for you?

SPEAKER_02 24:29

Oh, yeah, for fun. I'm a big car dancer. I have dance parties in my kitchen all the time. So I dance all the time. I love making little TikToks with my nieces. So dancing is still a big part of my life. It's just not a career.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Well, I think it's really cool that you're able to reconcile your relationship with dance and that you still do it. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Still taking it down. I mean, you've seen my TikToks or my reels, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Oh, yeah. I watched you do that. With your whole team, too. You guys all look like pros. That was amazing. We still dance. All right. Signature questions that I ask everybody. What does life unfolding mean to you?

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Hmm. I would say to me, it means trusting that even the hard, confusing, painful parts of life are part of the process. Not everything is meant to make sense right away. Sometimes you just have to keep moving and trust that it's leading you somewhere, somewhere right.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

And what excites you most about what's unfolding in your life right now?

SPEAKER_02 25:41

I would have to take it back to, you know, the growth of my business, both personally and in my business, you know, with expanding into the more wellness side and helping people on that deeper level and building that team that supports my vision. And honestly, I just becoming someone I'm proud of without needing like external validation. And that really feels good. Like that external validation, I feel like, especially with social media and everything, so many of us women feel like we have to be the best at everything, the prettiest, the just everything. And those expectations are so high and they're so unreachable that just grounding myself and saying I don't have to meet the expectations of Instagram to be good at what I do or to give a, you know, be a good provider. I don't have to have 10,000 followers to show that I'm worthy. And I think other girls, especially young girls out there, they need to hear that too. Like your social media imprint, although it's fun and important for business and whatnot, having the most followers does not mean you're more worthy than the other person.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

That is so true. That's such an important message. Especially for women. And like you said, young women. It's so easy to get stuck in that comparison trap of someone has more followers, or someone's selfie looks prettier than mine, or they have more likes than me, or they have more engagement. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

I mean, and that's part of the reason why I hired a social media person to help me because uh it gets I get in a down downward spiral when I compare other med spas to mine and how much better their content is than mine. And so I just I had to take that off my shoulders. And now I I mean I look at Instagram barely ever because it just I'd rather read my book than look at Instagram. Reading my book grounds me, where looking at social media and comparing myself to others does not bring me bring me peace. It might bring some people peace. Like I know the the social media content creator people out there who do who make content and that's their job. Like that's great. That brings them happiness. It does not bring me happiness. So to each his own, like nothing against any content creators out there that that do it for a living. Like, good on you, proud of you. That's awesome. That's your path and your journey. But that, you know, again, that's just not something that brings me peace or grounds me.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Yeah. Well, it's good to know that too. Like the it takes all kinds of kinds to make the world go round, right? So I'm glad there's people who can do what you do because I couldn't do it, but I know we need people like that. And I don't know, even with social media, I put a ton of content out there, but I also can easily get into a spiral of looking at other photographers and videographers and musicians, and I try to put a lot more emphasis onto just like the creating and engaging and then not doom scrolling, you know. Same as you would rather be in my book. Yeah. Yes. Well is there anything else that you wanted to share? Any last-minute thoughts that came up?

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Oh, I have one last-minute thought that you could possibly add in.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Your worth is not determined by who chooses you or who doesn't. That was one big one for me. You get to choose yourself in this life. So just because that boy doesn't like you, just because that job didn't hire you, like you get to choose yourself. So just know that your worth is not determined by who chooses you or who doesn't. You get to choose yourself.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

That's a really powerful thought. I'm glad you shared that.

unknown 29:45

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Uh well, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I think it's going to be inspiring to people who listen. And thanks for taking time on your day off, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Cool. My pleasure as always, Melody. And thank you for having me. And I can't wait to hear it and make my voice sound prettier than it is.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Oh, where can people find you if they want to check out your services and your awesome dancing reels?

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Oh I am on Instagram, PMA underscore med underscore spa. And my website is PMA medspa.com.