3 Ways to Show Up and Be Hear Without being Labeled a B*+$*...Witch

Why is it that when women speak up, they're often labeled a B*%^$...witch?  But when a man presents the same idea at a meeting, he's applauded as though he's a genius?  It doesn't have to be that way -and it shouldn't be. Let's look at 3 steps that women can take so that though seated at a table of men, they can speak up, stand out, and share their own brilliance.  

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Transcript

Hi there everybody.  And I'm so glad you are here today, especially you ladies. Because I want to talk about an issue that I keep hearing about when I'm in the middle of executive presence training, or leadership training, and women kind of pull me aside or when it's just the ladies, they raise their hand and they talk about two issues that run

they run into time after time after time. The first is that they're at a table and they're in a room full of men, or they're at the table, surrounded by men. And they come up with a great idea. The woman comes up with a great idea. And they say it's like, I'm invisible. It's like, I don't have a voice. 

It's like, no one hears me. No one pays attention to me, but a guy - a couple of minutes later can come up with the same idea he presents it. And everybody applauds him.  And everybody says what a brilliant idea. So what gives with that?  Now, the other thing they tell me is that so often when they get passionate about an issue or they push back and they're assertive,

they hear later on, or maybe even at that moment that people consider them the B word. Rhymes with witch. And so many women run into this that I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to address it. So I'm going to give you a three step roadmap to address being the only woman at the table and you want to stand out and be heard. 

and later, I'm going to give you a secret that is so undervalued and so underrated and so overlooked.  But it will make you stand out and that's without saying one word. So let's do this together.    📍  📍  In today's world of uncertainty,   📍 it's easy to sit back,   📍 shut down   📍  📍  📍 and stay quiet. 

  📍 Exactly what this world does not need.   📍 It needs your insights,   📍 your brilliance,   📍 and your inspiration.   📍 It needs you  📍 to unleash who you truly are.   📍 I'm Diana Damron author,   📍 speaker,   📍 and former television anchor.   📍 

And I invite you   📍 to join me on a journey   📍 to build an extraordinary life  

  📍  📍 by building an extraordinary identity.    📍  📍  📍  📍 Welcome to Your Identity unleashed.  

Oh, I am so glad you are here because I love this topic. Unleashing your identity, really your identity unleashed. I mean, there's so much power in identity and I don't think we explore it sufficiently. But if you think about it, how we see ourselves, whether you're a man or a woman, how, how you see yourself in the mirror. How you feel about yourself up here and how you talk to yourself up here. That all stems from our identity, how we identify ourselves. 

And of course, then there's the aspect of how others identify us. So I'm really excited by the conversations we're going to have as far as really how to unleash the power of your identity. And I'm right there with you of my identity.

Now, one of the areas that so many women tell me about is, is the sense that they feel like they have no identity when they're sitting at the table, surrounded by a bunch of men. When they're like the only woman there and they come up with an idea. And yet it's as though  they're not seen their ideas, not heard. 

Number one, number two. They tiptoe through a meeting. They're afraid to speak up because they don't want to be labeled a.  I'll say witch okay.  So I'm going to give you three steps. These are three great ideas that you can begin to implement immediately so that you will begin to be heard and be seen.

All right, let's start.

Step one. To be seen and heard at the table. Ladies, when you're surrounded by men is to prepare.  Absolutely prepare for that meeting. Don't walk in, not knowing or not thinking about what's going to come up at that meeting. 

You may not have an agenda in front of you, but you already have a pretty good idea of what's going to be discussed.   📍 I like to think about meetings as being something 

Like an exam, right.?   📍 So when you were in junior high and high school and college, and    📍 you'd walk in the room and you would either have a pop quiz or you'd have an exam.  Either way, what it really was, was a test on whether or not you've been paying attention. 

  📍 Have you been listening? In class, you know, the subject matter. Have you been doing your homework?   📍  📍  📍  📍  📍 Are you following through, are you being responsible in the course? And so the exam,   📍 if you've been doing your homework, If you've been listening in class, there is a pretty good chance that you're going to ACE the exam.  

  📍  📍  📍  📍  📍 Well, very often, if you think about a meeting in terms of an exam, it's the same way. Have you been paying attention? 

  📍  📍 Have you been listening? We've been listening to the leadership. Have you been listening to your peers? Have you been listening to your direct reports? Have you been listening? Not just to what's on paper, but what's really happening in your organization.  Have you been studying? Have you been paying attention? If you have.  There's a pretty doggone good chance of that meeting is going to go really well. 

This meeting, just maybe an opportunity for you to shine.

So the very first step is be prepared. 

All right. Step two. As far as being seen, being heard, truly standing out.   📍  📍 Is to walk into the room, like you own it.

  📍 You own the room, which means number one, you show up on time. If not a little bit early,   📍 there is nothing that shows disrespect,  like walking in a little bit late. And you've got a cup of coffee in your hand. In other words, everybody can wait while you get your cup of coffee. So stand tall show up on time. And when you walk in, literally have a smile on your face. Look at people, look at people in the eye, greet people.  And when you sit down. sit tall.   📍  📍 Don't slump. 

I know it can be easy to slump. I certainly have been there. I just kind of slouched down and relax.   📍  📍 But the fact is when we don't sit up in the chair, It's as though we're not really engaged. 

 And you truly want to be listening and it's so much easier to have a higher energy level and to be active and engage when you're sitting tall.

When you walk into the room tall, when you sit tall, when you make eye contact, when you smile.  You exude confidence. People begin to identify you as confident. And as you do so increasingly you identify yourself as confident. When you begin to exude confidence, people begin to take you more seriously and they listen. To what you have to say, what you have to offer.



All right. Step number three, and standing up to be seen and heard is to take a breath.   📍 Literally. Take a breath.  When you're agitated when you're angry, when you're nervous taking a breath begins to relax this. It begins to settle us  but something that we don't discuss very much, it also changes our voice. 

So often as women, when we get passionate, we get excited, when we get agitated, we started speaking a lot faster and as we speak a lot faster, our pitch goes up higher and higher and higher. And our voice begins to travel into the nose. We become more nasal and nasality is not attractive to the ear. So when we take a breath

we have an opportunity.  To begin to lower the voice. It becomes more resonant.  And the body, the other bodies in the room become more receptive to the message carried by that voice. 



All right. So there, we have it three steps so that you can stand out, be seen and be heard. 

Number one, be prepared. Number two, walk into a room like you own it. Walk into the meeting. Like you own it. And then when you're sitting there, you're sitting up straight you're exuding confidence, number three.  Take a breath. Okay. So let's put it all together.



I was working with an executive team and I was also working with a woman on whom this executive team depended to provide a lot of the research, a lot of data. Every month. This woman was responsible for showing up at a meeting with the board of directors. And every month when she left that meeting, she felt awful. People would say, speak up, speak up. 

We can't hear you. And her boss would ask her questions. And while her boss wasn't trying to undermine her. She, she felt like she wasn't answering the questions well, so I asked her how she identified herself at that moment. She said, boy, it's not confident. In fact, I think people don't think I'm competent. 

And I asked, how do you want to identify yourself? And she said, as confident. 

So we began with those three steps. I just gave you she number one, prepared. She had all the data, but before the meeting, she repeatedly went to her boss to get a sense of the boss's perspective and she readied herself for the questions and she anticipated them far better at the next meeting. Number two. She walked in, like she owned the room. 

And when she sat at the table in the board of directors room where the leadership of the executive team was as well. She sat with confidence. She sat straight and her feet were planted on the ground. And number three, she took a breath. And when she took a breath, she was able to project. At the conclusion of that meeting people came up to her on her executive team and said, what happened. You were amazing.  When she next visited me, I said, how do you feel? 

She said so confident. I said, what happened? She said, nobody asked me to speak up. Nobody said, I can't hear you. And I was able to answer every question by my boss  really clearly and quickly and very, very well. 

And how do you identify yourself? -As confident

taking those three steps. This woman was seen. And she was heard and she was taken  very seriously. The power of identity is amazing. As we change our behavior as we change the way we communicate as we change the way we show up, we change our own identity. And then we change the way people identify us. Likewise, if we literally, in our mind hold a different identity.  And that's who we want to be. We begin to change the way we behave, the way we communicate and the way we show up. 

In other words, We have the ability to build an extraordinary life by building an extraordinary identity. Now.  If you want to be part of this adventure, when it comes to identity, please hit subscribe and do me one more favor. If there's some content that you think it would be fascinating for me to produce, please put even comments below. 

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