How to Find Ease When Everything Feels Hard

"It's just A LOT to deal with." If you've found yourself whispering (or screaming) those words lately, you're not alone—and this episode is for you.

In episode 154 of The Empowered and Embodied Show, Kim Romain and Louise Neil open up about what it feels like when everything—from tech problems to creative projects—feels hard. From spinning plates and bubbling volcanoes to slow internet and overwhelmed brains, we get real about what it means to hold it all… and how to let some of it go.

Together, we explore the power of softening, slowing down, and shifting from control to trust—even in the middle of the mess. Because while we can't control the chaos outside of us, we can learn to respond differently to it from within.

This episode isn’t about fixing or forcing. It’s an invitation to pause, breathe, and reframe—to remember that ease is always available, even in hard times.

“I’m not going to give my power away to things that are out of my control.” - Kim Romain

“When we are truly resilient, we get to be ourselves—our whole selves.” - Louise Neil

Key Takeaways

• Why “slow the f*ck down” might be the most powerful advice right now
• How we unconsciously make things harder—and how to stop
• Why alignment of mind, body, and soul brings clarity in chaos
• The difference between pushing through and softening into presence
• Why resilience isn’t about being tough—it’s about being real
• How language, awareness, and breath shift our internal landscape

Key Moments

0:00 – Introduction
2:41 – Talking through overwhelm and when everything feels hard.
6:32 – Exploring our need for control and how it complicates things.
10:30 – The behind-the-scenes messiness of launching something new.
14:22 – Using energetic timing to create more ease and flow.
18:13 – Why aligning mind, body, and soul matters in tough moments.
21:12 – Redefining resilience as softness, not pushing through.
24:14 – Embracing the messiness of the full human experience.
28:25 – Spotting where we overcomplicate and how to simplify.
30:45 – Shifting language and perspective to soften what feels hard.
34:35 – Finding our power and agency in chaotic times.
39:30 – The role of community in helping us come back to ourselves.
46:21 – Sharing what we’re working on and inviting connection.

Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.

Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.

Transcript

The Empowered & Embodied Show

Episode 154: How to Find Ease When Everything Feels Hard
Hosts: Kim Romain & Louise Neil
Release Date: April 8, 2025

Kim Romain (00:03)
Hi there, welcome to the Empowered & Embodied Show. I'm Kim Romain.

Louise Neil (00:06)
And I'm Louise Neil.

We're two transformational coaches who are also fellow travelers on the path of growth and self-discovery. And we're inviting you along for the ride.

Kim Romain (00:14)
That’s right. We're right here in the trenches with you—navigating the ups and downs of life. Each week, we share our own experiences, bring you conversations with amazing guests, and explore insights and strategies that have helped us find more clarity, confidence, and ease.

Louise Neil (00:26)
And trust us—we do not have it all figured out. We're learning and growing right alongside you.

Kim Romain (00:32)
So, if you're ready to rise above the chaos, doubt, and confusion life sometimes throws your way and step into a more empowered and embodied version of yourself, then you're in the right place. Let's get started.

This Episode: When It All Feels Hard

Kim Romain (01:59)
Well, hello, hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode. I'm one of your co-hosts, Kim Romain—joined, as always, by my co-host...

Louise Neil (02:11)
That’s me, Louise—the one giggling in the corner today.

Kim Romain (02:17)
Louise is giggling because right after we pressed record, we were suddenly joined by some mysterious animal noises that we weren’t making. It was... interesting. So we started over. And here we are. Louise, what's on your mind today?

Louise Neil (02:41)
Honestly? I’ve got a lot of energy moving today—and it’s coming out as giggles. But underneath that? Things feel really hard. Like I'm juggling a thousand balls, spinning a dozen plates... maybe even spinning balls and juggling plates. Everything just feels hard right now. That’s what’s going on. I feel a little scattered.

Kim Romain (03:20)
Oof, yeah... and you just took a deep breath—I like that. We forget to breathe when things feel hard. And it has been feeling hard lately. I think a lot of us are feeling that.

Louise Neil (03:31)
Totally. It’s like it’s coming at me, but also being created inside of me at the same time.

Kim Romain (03:41)
Yeah. What does that feel like—when it's bubbling up inside?

Louise Neil (03:49)
It feels like a lack of control. Like, there's so much going on, I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know what to do next. And when you said “bubbling up,” it really clicked. There’s this volcano energy... and it’s hard to put a cap on the volcano. Even when we’re doing something really important—like this podcast that I love.

But when the world’s loud and the volcano's bubbling, it’s hard to feel resourced enough to get the important things done.

Kim Romain (05:12)
Yeah. I actually started my day with a conversation like this—with someone else, not even you! It was someone I met in Florida last month, and when I asked how they were doing, they just said, “It’s a lot.”

And I keep hearing that over and over again.

Louise Neil (05:16)
Did you?

Kim Romain (05:42)
Yeah. And what fascinates me is how, when we reach that bubbling volcano place—where all you want to do is sigh and breathe—even that doesn’t feel like enough. Nothing feels easy. Even the stuff we normally love starts to feel harder.

Louise Neil (06:41)
There’s two parts to it: Things feel harder, and we also make them harder.

Kim Romain (06:51)
Yes! And there's something in between too—it is harder because of what’s happening inside us, and then we make it even harder. It’s like... now the shit show is overflowing.

Louise Neil (07:16)
Yeah. It’s hard to know where to even break into that spectrum of hardness. I know this isn’t my natural state. I don’t normally operate like this. But it gets all tangled up... and I don’t know where to begin. I can’t even finish a sentence today.

Kim Romain (08:29)
The words going through my mind right now are: Slow the fuck down.

Louise Neil (08:34)
Oh my god—yes.

Kim Romain (08:48)
Right? Like, why do you even need a place to break into?

Louise Neil (09:00)
Because I need to get control. It’s like a snowball rolling down a mountain—getting bigger, more complicated. I’m working on launching a group program. The beta is going so well, and I’m excited to bring it out into the world in April. But then my to-do list explodes.

There's content, marketing, websites, sales pages—so many moving parts. And then other things crash in. Like my shitty internet. My computer keeps rebooting. It’s like, what the actual fuck?

All of it is influencing how I’m showing up—and it feels like one more thing I have to fix before I can even start birthing this beautiful idea baby.

Kim Romain (13:04)
Thank you for sharing that. Really—thank you. Because hearing your story—hearing the energy build—is something we can all relate to.

Let me feed in a little bit here. You're in it right now. And I’m in it with you. Everyone listening is probably feeling it too.

So... right now, as we’re recording, it’s day seven of Mercury Retrograde. You shouldn’t be launching anything.

Louise Neil (15:03)
Yes! I understand energy and containers. But how can I still move at a speed that suits me, in a direction I want to go, during this flux? It’s not about stopping.

Kim Romain (15:30)
No, not at all. It’s about understanding the energy. It could be Mercury Retrograde, illness, grief, world crisis—so many things can make the world feel like a lot. But the question becomes: How do we deal with the thing in our way and still move forward?

You already know this. You help clients do it all the time.

Louise Neil (17:13)
Yes. And we fall into overcomplication over and over again. It’s a human thing. Complexity bias, maybe. We say things like “I don’t know where to start,” or “I don’t know how,” and we make those things true.

Kim Romain (18:13)
YES! Our clients show up like that too. But the truth is: You do know.

Louise Neil (18:26)
Absolutely. And I do know what makes sense to do now—even in this re-time. Reflection, redesign, repair... all of it.

Kim Romain (19:53)
That alignment—mind, body, soul—that’s when we know what to let go of.

We mess it up. I mess it up. We all do.

But when we slow the fuck down, we can move forward—even in the crunchy times.

This, to me, is what resilience is. (And I know it’s not your favorite word.)

Louise Neil (21:20)
I do like the word! But not in the toxic way it’s usually used. I think it fits this re-season. When we reflect and repair, we build true resilience. We shed the stickiness and come back to ourselves.

To me, resilience is being fully you. Not pushing through, not hustling—but softening into your wholeness.

Kim Romain (23:45)
Yes. And Zen monks talk about this too—it’s practice. They’re human. They don’t walk around in perfect peace all the time.

Life is hard. Full stop. There’s chaos, harm, grief.

And also—there’s wonder and joy.

We lose sight of that when we’re gripping for control. Sometimes, we just need to soften and let go.

Louise Neil (26:52)
We fixate on the outcome and the steps to get there. And when those steps don’t work, we panic. But the truth is, there’s more than one way forward.

When we only see one path and it’s blocked—we make things harder than they need to be.

Kim Romain (28:25)
I always ask myself: Where am I overcomplicating this?

Louise Neil (28:31)
I ask the opposite: If this were easy, what would it look or feel like?

Kim Romain (29:12)
That one’s harder for me when I’m flooded. But “where am I overcomplicating this?” I can answer pretty quickly—even if I don’t want to admit it.

Louise Neil (30:11)
And even thinking about why things are hard keeps us stuck in the cycle.

Kim Romain (30:45)
Right. It’s the language we use—“hard” feels like something impenetrable. But the more we soften, the more we remember we can find a way through.

Louise Neil (31:59)
Exactly. Like, even just breathing in this conversation slowed me down.

Kim Romain (33:52)
Yes! And I shared recently with my group this absurd visual: You're on a walk, and a 747 lands in front of you. No crash, just there. Suddenly, your path is blocked.

What do you do?

It’s like—life throws absurd stuff at us. But if we know what’s most important to us, we can respond.

Louise Neil (34:52)
And that comes back to knowing yourself. What are your values? What’s your truth?

Kim Romain (36:32)
Yes. The world is messed up—but we don’t have to be.

When we choose intentional alignment, we make the unmanageable manageable.

And to be clear—manageable doesn’t mean easy or painless. But we stop giving our power away.

Louise Neil (37:52)
And we stop absorbing other people’s energy. That’s not our role.

Kim Romain (39:00)
We can be in community—without absorbing everything. It takes practice.

Louise Neil (39:58)
Practice, yes. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.

Kim Romain (40:30)
My mentor used to say, we slow down to speed up. It took me years to integrate that.

Louise, thank you for bringing the crunchiness today and letting us explore it from so many angles. What’s your golden nugget from this convo?

Louise Neil (41:16)
Honestly? The breath. I breathed a lot today, and it grounded me. I feel different. I remembered I have more control than I think I do. That’s huge.

Kim Romain (42:10)
Your energy shift is palpable. Thank you for showing up vulnerably and honestly.

That’s my golden nugget too: We don’t get to choose when shit hits the fan—but we do get to choose how we meet it.

What We’re Up To

Kim Romain: Loving the Rising Visionaries container—where we explore Human Design transits and ground them into real-world embodiment and alignment. https://kimromain.com/rising-visionaries

Louise Neil: Launching Rise and Redefine—a community coaching program for women navigating career, work, and menopause. (It’s a “re” word!) https://louiseneil.com