Trying to Get Free (with Bsrat Mezghebe)

In this episode, we interview author Bsrat Mezghebe about her debut novel, I Hope You Find What You’re Looking For. Bsrat describes her approach to connecting the 10,000-foot view of society with everyday human life and explains the novel as a story about Eritrean women seeking freedom in the DC suburbs on the eve of Eritrean independence in 1991. We discuss the Eritrean War for Independence, diaspora, and the moral complexity of revolutionary choices. Bsrat reflects on writing about liberation across shifting American politics.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

00:35 Meet Bsrat Mezghebe

02:07 Debut Novel Overview

03:05 Characters and Structure

04:25 What Readers Take Away

05:37 Writing Liberation in America

12:06 Staying Grounded

13:50 What She Reads Now

14:50 Next Projects and Nonfiction

15:52 Fiction Versus Nonfiction

17:21 Advice for Community Impact

19:08 Social Media and Focus

20:31 Where to Find Bsrat

21:09 Closing and Call to Action

Bsrat’s Book

I Hope You Find What You’re Looking For

Other Books Mentioned

Toni at Random: The Iconic Writer’s Legendary Editorship by Dana A. Williams

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

Where to find Bsrat

bmezghebe.com

Instagram

Thank you for being part of the Liberation is Lit podcast! If you have stories to share, want to suggest topics, or just want to connect, find us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok @liberationislit or visit our website at liberationislit.com. If you enjoyed the episode, please consider leaving a review! Remember, your voice matters, and together, through the lens of stories, we're making a difference in the world.

Transcript

0:07

Hey y'all. Welcome to the Liberation is Lit podcast where the power of storytelling meets the force of social change. I'm your host, Tayler Simon, and in this podcast we believe in the profound impact of stories, and I am super excited to be here with author bsrat Mezghebe and we're gonna talk about her book. I hope what you find, what you're looking for. Hi, Bsrat, how are you? Hello. Hello. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you so much. Yes. So to kick us off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself as an author? Sure. So again, my name is Bsrat Mezghebe. I am a writer from Washington, dc I hope you find what you're looking for is my debut novel. It took me nine years to write, so good things can take some time. I, you know, I, my, my first. Work is is a novel, but I'm also interested in nonfiction as well, and I'd like to see, I'd like to think of myself as being as constantly kind of toggling between two perspectives. I'm very curious about the context, like the 10,000 foot view of what's happening in the world, what's happening to in, in society, and then drilling down and seeing how that affects our very universal and mundane experiences of being a human, which is like figuring out where we're going for dinner, how we're gonna pay the bills, dealing with our families and our loved ones. And I'm really curious about the interplay between regular degular life and kind of zooming up and seeing the big story of, of, of what's going on. So that's, yeah, that's kind of my perspective as a writer. So I love that and I, and I think that's kind of the universal role of the writer is how can we take the mundane individual in interior world and connected to what's happening Yeah. exterior world and how it both connects us and also provides a unique experience for each Mm-hmm. So I love that perspective. You taking your writing. So talk to us a little bit about your debut novel. I hope you find what you're looking for. did you want readers to take away from this story? So, I hope you find what you're looking for. I have, you know, the short answer is that it's about women trying to get free. The mid-length answer is that it's, it's about kind of the, the secret lives of a family of Eritrean women living in the DC suburbs on the eve of Eritrean independence, which is in 1991. And the longer answer, it's, you know, it follows it, it, it's very much about the what. What I just explained you know, not many people know about the Eritrean War for Independence and the diaspora that it created. So it kind of zooms beyond the, if you ever saw a headline about that war, it kind of zooms beyond deeper and kind of tells a story about how every day you know, ordinary people have found themselves in very extraordinary circumstances. So there's Zodie, who's the matriarch, who has never been married, never had kids. She's on the cusp of turning 50, and she finds herself at this crossroads where she's debating whether she should embark on a romantic relationship, but she's never experienced. Or kind of pursue this business opportunity. And she's not, she's keeping both kind of cards close to her chest and dealing with that dilemma privately. And she plays mother to this mother and daughter duo named Elsa and Lydia. And Elsa is a former gorilla fighter. A third of the rebel forces that ushered in Eritrean independence from Ethiopia were women, which was one of the highest rates worldwide. And she is kind of, she's kind of grappling with secrets about her experience in the war and the circumstances of her daughter's, father's death and Ha hasn't di divulged much to her, her daughter about that. And then there's Lydia, who's like the American teenager. Who's, you know, it's her coming of age story and she's trying to she's paying attention to how the mothers in her life, Zodie and Elsa kind of grapple with the stories they've been told about love and motherhood and, and coming up and, and freedom and, and coming up with her own stories and the novel. Alternates a narrative voice between the three characters. So it, it shifts around in time and in voice. Yeah, so that's how I would describe it. Oh, and you asked, sorry, what, what do I want readers to get out of it? Oh, man. Well, what can I say to that? I think I want readers to consider what they would do if if their world became very unsafe which is how the characters end up in America, their homes, their country becomes very unsafe, and I want them to consider what would they do? Would they stay in fight? Would they be, would they be heroes? Would they leave? Would they decide to decide to leave like some people did? And if they did, where would they go? How would they kind of rebuild their lives? What would they hold on from their old lives? So I, I want people to think about what they would have to do if those circumstances were their circumstances. So yeah, I, I kind of want them to put themselves in, in, in the character shoes. And I feel like this book is so timely for the world context that we're living in Yeah. Unfortunately. I love how you gave like the short answer about what your book is about is women trying to get free. Yep. And I definitely read how the characters who were fighting for liberation on a personal Mm-hmm. like this grander context. And I wanted to ask you, what feelings did you have writing the book over the last nine years? What feelings did you have around liberation while living within this feel nine years has been like the timeline for this ever changing, situation that Yeah, So how did you feel writing about liberation in this way while living in this current American context? so, so, you know, it's, it's interesting when I, I started this book america was different in 2015. So it, it, so we, it, I would say maybe the start was, you know, 2017 was, was the, the election. The election. But you know, and there, there was obviously some dynamics brewing before then, but 2015 felt different than, than it does now. I'll say this, you know, I have two kind of. Perspectives that I, from which I think about this book, one is pre pre-Trump, I guess I'll say. You know, the way I thought about liberation was very much formed by the experiences or the, the, the, the experiences that were recounted to me by Eritrians who experienced the war for independence, either personally, like the things, you know, their personal experiences or things that I witnessed myself being in, in the diaspora and going back to Eritrea and what I saw. And I, I parallel that with where America was in terms of its relationship with revolutionary politics. Because the war for Eric's war for Independence was from 6 61 to 91. So up until very recently, we were very much steeped in like revolutionary politics. Whereas in America, you know, civil rights, there was also kind of a dovetailing between civil rights and kind of class. The, the, the, the, the fight for like class justice, you know what I mean? Like equity and and kind of, I don't wanna say class warfare, but like, just like, economic and social justice is probably a better term. And then we saw that really being like very, very intense. The fifties, sixties and seventies. And then the crackdown and most of the warriors from that time, the real advocates the folks who were on the front lines either. Were handled by the powers that be arrested lost their lives or by sheer war of attrition, had to get back, gave up, and that's kind of how things sustain themselves. And so, and. Growing up in America, I saw little glimmers pop up again, maybe like the Millionaire March or, and then later on with Ferguson and Black Lives Matter, but the, the, the age that I grew up in America, we, we stopped fighting. You know what I mean? We were like consumers and very comfortable with that. And the time for, for fight. The, the era of fighting had passed. We were like, I'm gonna watch TV and buy our consumer electronics and like, enjoy our lives. So that's what I saw in like my American upbringing. But because of the timing of the rine war, this is a very long answer. The timing of the rine war for dependence. It, it, the timing sustain after the kind of heyday of American revolutionary politics, modern revolutionary politics. So I still saw that from an Iran context. And it was really impressive to me to see people who were willing to like, fight for their values. Like I, I saw that with my own eyes. I saw relatives, I have relatives who were freedom fighters, relatives who were activists in, in the diaspora, and they sacrificed a great cost to their, either materially in terms of the quality of their lives or with their actual lives. And you know, heroism is, is not, is a, is a very layered story because it makes great demands on your personal life, on your family life, on your ability to parent your, your children on your ability to parent yourself. And so it's a very complicated thing. So I, I'm very sympathetic to people. I'm in awe of people who are willing to lay down their lives. And they're like the, be the years of their producting productive earning capacity to sacrifice for their beliefs. And I also sympathize with people who make a very rational choice that they, that, that, that they can't do that. You know what I mean? That they have to be responsible in other ways for the quality of their lives or the people who are responsible to them. So I can, I can understand both. So. This book for me was a chance to explore that because there are some characters who are willing to put their lives on their lines. The, their lives on the line for their political beliefs. And there are other characters who make different decisions. You know, and some Zodie, for example, is at peace with that. She, she was not interested in fighting the war came to America, and Elsa thought that she wanted to fight in the war, and things became a little bit complicated for her. And she had, she made some morally ambiguous. Choices, things that she hasn't quite resolved in herself and she makes it to America as well. And there, the people in her life made different choices and they sacrificed their lives for what they believe in. So I'm I, I wanted to show the full range of what it means to be a revolutionary. In general, you know, or what, what, what, what it means to fight for your, your rep, you know, your, your beliefs. And now, so that was like where I was coming from with the book, and then so much happened in America, and I think it just made me think again of like, there are so many different ways to respond to norms the norms of your country changing, you know, like there are so many different ways. And I, and I see. I see, I see, I see it in, in society. I see it in like dis, you know, online discourse. The kind of exhaustion that comes from being overwhelmed by rapid changes in your country that feel very scary. And also the kind of hope that maybe things will change if you just wait it out. So, you know, I don't have, I think I'm just, I'm more than ever curious, like, I'm very sympathetic to the varied human responses to, to like great change in volatility in your country. I think it's all, you know. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I get it all, you know, and I understand the challenges in, fighting for grace, like for societal change. It's really, it, you know, it's, it's, it's no short order. And I don't know, I, I have so much more to say about this, but I'm very sympathetic to all of the, to all of the ways that, that we respond to our world changing around us. You know? I'll leave it there. Yeah. So, what keeps you grounded in this, this work and truth telling in these scary times where things are changing every single day? What keeps you grounded in this work? I think what keeps me grounded is an awareness that like there's very little that's new under the sun, and I think that I think reading like literature and history and being aware of the ebbs and flows of history, there are only like a handful. There's only a handful of responses to like power. You know, it's all just power. We're all just responding to like power and in society and in our families. You know, like I think there's both, it's very intimate forms of control in our family and then there's kind of more, you know, in, in society there are other forms of control, but I think the ways that we respond to that are all kind of. There's like a, a, a, a very short buffet menu options of how you respond to that. So I think it keeps me grounded just like understanding that we're all kind of, that things have, you know, that there's history is cyclical. And that I think, you know, time, our time here is finite and I just try to, be in touch with like, what I think my gifts are, what, what the, the impact, the, the contribution that I think I wanna make in my time here and focus on that. And I think if everyone kind of does that, then we are making best use of our time. So I, you know, think of like, what is it that I want to say? What, how is it that I, I think carefully about how I wanna spend my time? I think I try to and, you know. So I think reading and being inspired by the authors who have come before me kind of keeps me grounded. I have a 16 month old that keeps me very grounded. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's how I'd answer that question. So what have you been reading to keep you grounded in this work? Gosh, you know, lately it is a shame. It's actually, I'm not gonna say it's a shame, it's not a shame. I've been reading like the literary equivalent of like rom-coms to kind of keep myself sane. Because sometimes you look at the news and you're just like, oh my God. Oh my God. So I've been reading a, some Tia Williams, I love her, like romantic novels. There's this author named Curtis Sittenfeld who has written. Like Shere. I really love her writing, like it's smart, but it's also kind of escapist. Those are kind of the two that I can think of i'm digging into Toni at random, that book about Toni's time as an editor. What else, what, what else? Yeah, I'm trying to keep it light. You know, I, I, I'll, I'll keep it light for a little bit and then I go into something deep and then I, I go back to something light. When the thoughts are deep all the time, Yeah, I try to lighten it up. that are fine. Yeah, you got to. Yeah. So, do you have any upcoming projects that you wanna share with listeners? I I would really like, I'm, I'm curious about kind of narrative nonfiction now, and I've always been, but I wanted to get this book out first and I am, I'm looking, I'm exploring like, some archival projects, so I'm doing some research on, what's the best way to kind of capture personal stories, oral histories, that kind of, that, that kind of thing amongst like the urchin community in, in the Diasporan back home. If you have any suggestions of great archives, please let me know that, capture it Well, let me know. And I, I've all, I love the book, the Warmth of Other Suns, like most people do by Isabelle Wil Wilkerson about the Great Migration. It's just such a tremendous, a tremendous. Work and I'm, I, my dream is honestly, to write a book like that about the Erian story, you know, that's like my dream and I'm just not comfortable talking about it. For the longest time I wasn't, but I'm like, I'm gonna talk about it, like I'm gonna try to make this happen. Yeah. And even though, and that's why Mm-hmm. of liberation is lit, is definitely built on. You can learn things from a perspective of fictional stories as well as nonfiction. Everything doesn't have to be nonfiction. I love like, what is it? Creative fabulation, contra, I can't remember the word. But when you like, just reimagine like real life history and make it intimate, more intimate than what we're reading in the textbook. So you're already doing the work. You just, thank you I if in fact I think you did it the hard way first with fiction. it. I agree. I agree. There were many points in the process where I was like, girl, you could have just, why are you making up stuff? You know what I mean? You could have just talked to people and written down their lives, why are you doing this? But, you know, creativity is a very funny thing. I don't know why, you know, inspiration is a funny thing. I felt compelled to write a novel and, and I, and I do wanna write nonfiction as well, but is, I thought the same thing many times. I said, what are you doing? Why, but I, you know, I, I've always been a reader, a fiction reader. I love literature. There's something about a story, you know, you sit with it differently than a true story. They're all true, you know, they're all true. But there's just something about being told a story. You know, you just kind of get settled in a different way, you know? So, I don't know. I, I responded to the Gods of Creativity and I'm, I'm, I keep listening, so whatever they tell me to do next, I'll do that. So, the way you do it. yeah. Yep. So my last question for you is, what advice would you offer listeners who wanna make a positive impact in their communities? I think free your, I would say free yourself of narrow ideas of what you think a positive contribution is. There are so many ways, I think, to be. To, to, to contribute. I think number one, just be conscious of what's happening in your, in your neighborhood, in your community, in your world. Be awake. Just be awake. Know what's going on. And I think also do some, you know, I think if, if you're making your family and your community a better place than that. It can be a, you know, then that, that's, that's fine. Like, I, I don't think it needs to be any more grandiose than that. I think just being like a present part of the world that you're in, you know, is, is really helpful. And that can be being good at your job, whatever it is. And it can also be. Maybe thinking about change in a more grandiose or macro way, but I don't think everything is like, about political activism necessarily. I think it's being a good neighbor, being a good family member, and like spending some time to figure out what your gifts are and honoring them. I think that we all have you know, that little thing, that little voice that kind of wakes you up some sometime or sometimes in the middle of the night or the thing that's tapping you on the shoulder. It's like you, you know, do this thing. You know what I mean? Whatever. That we all, there's, there's this thing I think for a lot of us. And I think you gotta honor it. You know, just get, get in tune with what your inner voice is telling you and be responsive to it. And I think that's all, that's, that's like a tall order in and of itself to be able to hear yourself and not all the voices outside. So just hear yourself and then if everyone doesn't, I think we'll kind of change the frequency a little bit, you know? Right. We to stop being distracted by our consumer electronics. Yeah, seriously. My God. I mean, it's, it's designed to distract us. What we gotta overcome somehow. I'm not in good shape right now. Not in good shape. Actually like to, to finish this book. I got off Instagram in 2016 and I didn't get back on it. Until I had to promote this book and I was very happy to not be on Instagram. Very happy, very nice life. Everything was great. And now I'm back on it and I'm like, no, no, no. Everything is gone, down, down, down. Like I'm spending so much more time on my phone. So I cannot wait to get off of the, because that's really the only app I have. Social media app I have. So, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's designed that way. You know, there are very few people I know who can moderate their activity on it, you know, who can manage it. I have my weeks where I do good, or maybe my days where I do good. And then like last night, people in my writing group are going to hear this. I did get distracted last night during our writing group session and scroll for 15 minutes and I realized, oh gosh, 15 minutes, one. Well, it was 15 minutes of supposed to, of an hour of uninterrupted writing time, so that was a long time to Yes, that's true. Out of one hour, yes. But Yeah. oh, imagine in a day. our best. We are, we're doing our best. We're doing our best. Thank you so much Bsrat, for this great conversation. Do you wanna drop your Instagram and wherever Oh, Instagram keep up with you and your work? yes. After we're just talking about the evils of Instagram. But yes. Hey everybody, you can find me on Instagram. right. During your scrolling Exactly all your time. At, it's my name, Bsrat Mezghebe. And I'll be there for now. I don't know how much longer. But yes, you can find me there and my website is Bsrat Mezghebecom and that's all, you know, those are kind of my two, the two online homes that I have and I try to keep it active with events and book news. So, but I really appreciate being in conversation with you. Thank you. Yes, this was great and thank you so much again for being on the podcast and thank you listeners, if you have any stories you wanna share, want us to. Just topics or just wanna connect with us. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at Liberation is Lit. Or visit our website, liberation is lit.com. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review. And remember, your voice matters and together through the lens of stories, we're gonna make a difference in the world. Until next time.