E 50 - Planetary Alignment Triggers Deep Feelings in Women So Here’s How To Move Them Through

A lot of us are walking around with a “fine” face while our bodies quietly scream for relief. Tamra and I get honest about what’s been building under the surface, from stress and sleep issues to the kind of anger that doesn’t disappear just because we stay polite. 

We start with the hands-on side of healing and the real-world ways people unwind: hot stone massage for deep calming and ashiatsu barefoot massage for getting into stuck layers the body has held for years. From there, we move into trauma and traumatic brain injury patterns we see again and again, like looping thoughts, shame spirals that crash a beautiful moment, and why better sleep can be the first big sign your nervous system is finally settling. We also talk about holistic wellness through the lens of gut health, hormones, and tracking client feedback so the work stays grounded in results. 

Then we zoom out into animal communication and energy work with pets, including why dogs and horses often reflect the same stress patterns their humans carry. We share practical spiritual protection and energetic boundaries, plus simple home clearing tips to support deeper rest, like bowls of water with lemongrass under the bed and using lemons to shift the feel of a room. 

The heart of the conversation is women’s rage and why it’s showing up so loudly right now, including ancestral trauma, collective pressure, and the cost of stuffing emotions into the body. We share safe, legal ways to release anger, the 90-second “feel it without the story” tool, and why reclaiming your power starts with learning safety inside your own body. If this resonates, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these tools.

Fine Tamara at yourrootedtruth.com

Transcript

Welcome And Real Life Catch Up

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Hey everyone, welcome back to Om Shanti Healing's podcast, The Spiritual Connection. It has been a beat since I have been motivated to get on my podcast. So I apologize for that. I've got uh some busy stuff going on uh in my life. So podcasts come when there is time allotted. And Tamra and I got together today to talk about some pretty cool stuff planetary-wise. Um, what is out there in the cosmos? Hi, Tamara. Thanks for coming back on. Hello, my dear. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

You look lovely today. So do you. I'm like, the hair always looks so good. Your hair.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

I feel that same way about you. It's also fluffy and wispy.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I've been all my grays growing in there. There's all those. Did I tell you? But have I ever told you I was born with a white spot? Like I have a white spot here.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Were you your unicorn used to be there? That's where the horn was.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

That's what my horn was.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

In a past life, you were a unicorn.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Maybe. And then over time, that well, that white spot has gotten bigger, much bigger, but that for the longest time I've had I could have a Cruella de Ville stripe. That's hot. I could have rocked it, but I'm not ready to embrace it yet.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

Yeah. I chopped off 10 inches of my hair. I know. That's why I look so good. And now it's like healthy and kind of wavy a little bit because it's shorter. But I'm gonna, I don't think I'm gonna color it ever again. I'm just gonna be plucking my white eyebrow hairs out, embracing each little hair that comes in. My son just bought a sports car, so I'll be getting more gray hairs here shortly. Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yes. Oh yes. I've had gray hair since I started going gray when I was 21. My dad was completely white by the time he was 24. So 21 was my first gray hair. So since then, I'm like, I just whatever. You know, it is what it is. I have gray hair everywhere. Chin hairs, those are new.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Oh, gonna love those.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I have one right here.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

Oh, yeah. And the ones that like they're there, like all of a sudden, they're an inch long, and it's like, what the hell? I just looked in the mirror five minutes ago, and there was like no. It's so true.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

And mine are like coarse and like white. So I'm like, I even have gray hairs on my chin and my neck. And yeah, overnight they're like ta-da. Like, you're getting old. Here's a couple eyebrow hairs for you to pluck too. Oh, I did. I have one of them. I got some white ones and then, you know, downstairs that there too. I'm like, you know what? You just gotta embrace it at this point.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

There's no fighting it. I mean, we can dye our eyebrows, I guess. And uh you could dye all of it, just I don't like to dye my hair anymore. I'm kind of over it. It was a phase. I it's not it fries your hair out, especially in Colorado air. It is so freaking dry here. Yeah, it's like you color your hair, it sucks more of the moisture out of your hair, and then it's just like a straw mess on your head. It's not good. Data cling for days.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

So anyway, mine's just a gloss. And mine's a table. That was a tangent.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

That's what these podcasts are great for when you come on with me. We just go off on this direction and this direction, and makes for good entertainment, hopefully. Hopefully, exactly. This is real life stuff, people. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

For those of us who eat goddamn hair, you know, each chin hair gives us wisdom.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

I remember my mom and they would be so long and curly on my mom. And I remember going up and like pulling it just lightly, and she'd be like, Yeah, yeah, get that. Can you get that, please? And you'd be like, pink, you know. I swear I have more than she does. I have more than one on my chin.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

So yay! Yeah, good times, good times.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

So, what do you want to talk about? Um, I want to talk about kind of like this being a support group of sorts, and um, oh, I first wanted to ask you, how is the new massage going? The new massage bill business going.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

Well, um, massage has been around for 20 years in my life and healing work and such, but the new modalities that I'm offering are hot stone massage, and that is for light efflage, you know, gentle pressure with the heat penetrating stones in my hand. So that's really great for really just gentle work, just to kind of reset and disconnect. And then ashiatsu is the very opposite of that, but there is still connection with all touch, right? But in ashiyatsu, it's barefoot massage. I'm using my feet and my legs, so I have a contraption on my ceiling. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. For my poles, for my hands. Awesome, and I climb up on the table and I walk on people, and it's amazing, especially for my men that have tree trunk legs. I just really don't want to get my elbows into that anymore. And I walk on them and they're like grunting it out. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 5:56

Yeah, good for you.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

And then getting through some stuck layers that have been in their bodies for you know, decades potentially. So making them cry. Are you getting soy?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Tears of joy, good, yeah. Tears of joy.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Yeah, like removing toxins, we're flushing lymph, we're getting all the good things moving, and they are having space in their bodies that they have not remembered having, you know, so it's a great thing, and my ladies are loving it too. It's a fairly new thing, but getting the hang of it, getting tonicity and strength and my legs, like it's an acclimation to the legs for sure, of doing lower body work, but my upper body is getting a nice break, you know. All I'm missing is my mortgini in my hand when I'm up there. I would think that you'd get an upper body workout too, holding on and stuff. Yeah, I mean, I have to engage the chest and the shoulders and stuff to to help I get leverage from pushing on the poles to get deeper work in, but it's mostly lower body. It's fun. Thank you for asking. How are things going with you?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Uh things are lovely and busy. Um I, you know, I seem to come and flow whether it's like leaning towards animals or leaning towards humans. And I've had a lot of lean towards humans, again with the traumatic brain injuries and stuff. And I think I think I find myself wanting to be like either on a podcast more or on stage, and really helping people start to understand what they're experiencing is literally can be contributed to a brain trauma. Like there's so many, at least for me, I can speak so much of my life going, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why does this work? Why am I having these looping thoughts of shame? The biggest thing for me that I've noticed since I've worked on myself, I work on myself regularly as well, is that I will have like, I would be in a moment of like, oh my gosh, like that was such an incredible moment, and just that heart center connection. And then all of a sudden my brain will go, Yeah, but do you remember this? Do you remember this when you did this? Do you remember this? Or when you didn't do a very good job being a mom or whatever it is. It's always as those little shame, little nudges of shame. So I'd be in this moment of flow and be feeling heart-centered, feeling loved, connected, whatever it is, or I'd have somebody give me the best hug or give me, or even my clients giving me compliments. I would be like, oh, thank you, thank you. And then my brain would remind me of all the times that I made mistakes or whatever it is. And this was the worst, usually at night. I don't have that anymore. It's just amazing that I don't have. Oh yeah. Oh, it's just great. And then the looping thoughts, like for me, my brain injury, what one of my brain injury traumas was my left um frontal lobe here, and that was looping thoughts. So I'd get stuck on a song, like three lyrics of a song, you know, singing those lyrics. Or I would um get looping on a thought and that sort of thing. Those are quieter. My clients are sleeping better, depression's been amazing. The shift in depression, depressive thoughts. Um, you know, sleep is a component for everything. I think the number one thing my clients notice right away is better sleep. And then I'm also, it also regulates hormones because I'm working on gut health and all this stuff. Like it's just been, I work on a hormone playlist for myself. It's been great. I have my energy system, my energy's back up. Just yeah, that's been life altering. So I keep on taking note of uh the clients and what they give me in their feedback, and then writing these lists of this is what they noticed. Are you experiencing this? They've noticed this has changed, they've noticed this has changed, they've noticed this. Literally just by my working frequency on their brain and their gut health.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Well, it's awesome that you're taking notes and you're getting good feedback from your clients.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My whole my whole client thing is all referrals.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Do you see do you see patterns of protocols that are similar with brain injury clients? Like they all need specific things, no matter what.

When Animals Mirror Human Health

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Um well, each playlist is what I do, oh my gosh, what I do find. Okay. So what I do is I customize each playlist to that specific client for one. So I'm not really in the mindset because I'm tuning into their guides and their energy and what's highest and best for them, and I'm creating it. So I'm I'm not necessarily making parallels that way. Um, but I'm I do find the amazing thing is that once you start clearing out something and something starts rocking and rolling on its own, like a deeper level comes up, which is like conductivity. That's been awesome. Like, oh my gosh, now we're here. Now we're, you know, at this frequency. Now this is a deeper frequency. Now we're even getting stronger, you know, farther into the core of this and what the emotion is that's releasing and stuff. What I do find, which has been fascinating, is the parallels between the human and their animals. I work with a lot of humans who hired me initially to work on their animals, and then they end up, I end up working on them. And so, like I have a specific client that she's the best. I'm helping her. She basically runs um a rescue, and she's just keeps on rescuing dog after dog and horse and you know stuff now, or she's wants goats and she rescues them and they're sick as can be. She sends me a photo, I'm like, yep, sick as can be. And then we start working, I can start killing off bacteria, all this kind of stuff. That's where we start many times. But I will notice the interesting thing is she's been working on her dogs. Her dogs have ADHD, she has ADHD. Then I'm recognizing that, oh, interesting. Like, then I have a client who horses her horses tend to get respiratory infections. She tends to have respiratory infections. Um, you know, like the just the parallels. And I swear I always say it's our animals showing us where we need to work on ourselves. Because first and foremost, as is all things, when we fill our own vessel and we get our own health up and rocking and rolling, it's amazing how it shifts the energy around us, whether it's our kids or or our animals. And she, I mean, there it's just being nothing short of fascinating with the um, like I said, with the just all of a sudden you're like, okay, there's a respiratory thing. What's coming with that? What are lungs? Lungs, according to traditional Chinese medicine, are grief. What's the grief coming up? Let's clear that. What's the underlying, you know, infections and all this stuff? And then sure enough, the animals start to shift and they are doing better. And just I just point it, you know, a horse with booger, massive boogers coming out of his nose and all this kind of stuff. I'm like, okay, why do we work on you first? Because you know, this is showing up in you first and stuff. So yeah, it's being crazy. Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:08

Because the animals know that they are in dire straits and that there's someone there that's saving them, you know. They understand that and they they have animals have a level of empathy, you know, differently than humans do. Yeah. Right. They just they just feel it, they don't try to change it or shift it or manipulate it or navigate it in any way, they just feel the feels that their humans are putting off and they respond to it.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Yeah. And there's also on a deeper level than that, what I've noticed over the years in talking with animals is that they are here to show us where we get to do the work in our life. Where the sometimes the heaviest lifting is what are my animals? You know, why do I keep on getting rescued French bulldogs? Because they are some of the most stubborn little assholes on the planet. You are collecting like one of every color. I know, I do. I'm on number what, sixth now, and stuff like that. They've all lived very happy lives. But it's once again, it's being a I have I get to go into my power. I get to go into my patience. Oh, look, there's a deeper level of patience I get to have because you call a bulldog and you say, you know, come, and then they look at you and they're like, hmm, thinking about it. And then they're kind of like, let me look around, see if there's anything better, you know. And you're like, you know, that's only one option. Exactly. Exactly. Well, let me check my other options.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Option is the key word there.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Exactly. And all my animals have digestion issues. Well, hello, digestion issues. Yeah, yeah. All of them end up having tummy stuff, sensitivity. So I'm like, okay, we're working on me, and I'm working on my stomach, I'm working on my underlying stuff. And it's amazing how it does. It starts to shift everybody, everybody's happier and healthier. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yeah. I know when you worked on, you know, I had some right side sciatic stuff that was coming up out of my masculine, you know, fight or flight stuff that you know, self-employed people get stuck in. Yeah. And it my dog's hip was flaring up, and she was bothered, like she was in some pain in her back end, my six-year-old, and you worked on her and cleared it all up. And I felt you worked on me first. And I started to feel a shift, and then you worked on her to just kind of like top it off, you know, and that was really helpful.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Well, and it's just a perfect example of we love our animals, right? So if we love our animals and we're all of a sudden concerned about what's going on with them, and then you come to me, I'm gonna put it like I see it. Well, okay, so how does this showing up for you? Because this keeps on being a reoccurring or whatever it may be and stuff like that. Or the moment I tune into the animal, they're like, tell her, tell her I'm showing her what's going on with her. I'm more, and I've had animals who have come who literally I do a session because the humans all concerned about their pet. And then I tune in with the animal, and the animal's just like, oh, good, I have your attention. Now tell her this. This is all the things I have to say to share. And the whole session becomes about the human versus the animal because it's not about the animal. The animal's like, I'm just I'm just giving her a reflection of where she needs to, you know, take better care of herself or he does.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Yeah, I see that a lot in my um in Fawn and my older female. She's definitely um feeds off of my stress level with her behavior, like she'll get more aggressive at the fence with the neighbor dog. If I'm sitting here stewing in my day, you know, over something, she's a little bit more twitchy. You know, she just is. And if I'm having a day of seeing clients and I'm working and happy and in a good space, she's like taking lots of naps, chilling on the couch.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

Yeah.

Teaching Energy Work For Dog Teams

SPEAKER_03 17:15

You know, it's uh they feed off of each other. I I have I'm hosting a workshop on May 2nd. I don't know if you saw that, um, at the canine learning center. I'm I'm teaching energy work to the humans and how to do it on their dogs. Because those those people there are their dogs are competitors, like they're show dogs, they train, they're competing for you know, a ribbon or a trophy, and it's like a big ordeal. They're performing animals, so to have that tool to help them maintain a good gait, right? Because that'll ding you on points, yeah, have a calm demeanor and be able to listen to their humans during competition and agility training type stuff, being able to stay present, yeah, and have the humans, have the humans be in a better vibrational space during those competitive moments because the humans are way more like zinging and like anxiety than the the dog is, yeah, right? So I'm I'm hoping the we'll have a good turnout and we'll be able to teach some things to the people and and help them help themselves, which will then help their dogs.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Well, and maybe that if I can give a suggestion, because that's where I end up kind of going with clients, is um, there's always a focus on self-care. Always. The animals always defer to them, like what kind of self-care are they doing? They're very stressed, they're not you know, working, you know, da-da-da-da-da. That I need to get her to take me on on more walks because she needs to get up and move more or whatever it may be. And like you said, the great thing is there's that empowerment of, oh my gosh, I can do Reiki. Like you step into this amazing inner power and this connection to the sacral chakra, where this, this, you know, your your energy center, your power center, and all of a sudden you're like, I can do that with my hands. Oh my gosh, then I could work on myself. Or I always call it as you know, pulling up your Wonder Woman underoost. Like all of a sudden, same thing with your dog running the fence, stepping into that power and getting out there and being like, knock it off. You're in that uh that uh that Wonder Woman energy. So Mawa is just like the underlying cause in all things in my experience with animals is how do you come into your calm, assertive Wonder Woman energy to uh you know, to be able to uh, you know, to you know, recognize what the animal's showing you, recognize why they're acting this way, what is this reflecting for me, where's where's this in areas where I can work on or whatever it is, is just a really good help and to regulate the environment around you, right?

SPEAKER_03 20:04

When you know where when you are checked into your vibe and what you're projecting. Yeah. Because animals are just like a mirror, right? Oh, there are sponges and they're mirrors over. Children we are putting out, and uh it's important to know that. So I'm hoping this workshop will bring awareness to people and you know, gently make them more self-aware of what they're putting out, right? Yeah, love it. Which is a touchy subject because you know, everyone gets offended by everything. Well, we'll see how it goes. Who cares? Who cares? I'll be like, you know, you need to check yourself with your beauty.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

And then the beauty of it also is that you can maybe someone can maybe be initially offended or whatever it may be, your nose a little bent out of shape, but then they can be driving home afterwards and be like, okay, now that my ego has settled down a little bit, okay, let me pull out some really good truth bits out of that as well. And that's I have to say, that is the beauty of what I get to do, even talking to the animals, talking with the animals, because all I am is I'm just the messenger. Like I'm gonna tell you exactly what they said. I'm gonna tell if it, and I will tell clients all the time, if I start to censor myself, if I start to put it in my own wording or anything like that, the information stops because it's coming through me, not to me. So I'm just like, this is what your animal wants to share with you. This is their concerns for you. They're really worried about this area of your life. Or as I've said before, my favorite part is the one I call the ratting out or the tattletaling part of the session with the animal, is there will be like, okay, um, I, you know, I I did that because I didn't like her boyfriend. She's not making good choices in men, things like that. Like they are wise, you know, they are truly connected.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Yeah, when I when I started uh dating John, I'm like, well, if my dogs like him, yeah, that's a good sign. Right. That's checking a box in my list, you know, of what I require, right? If my dogs, you know, like him and roll over and give their belly, then he's in.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Well, and it's the same thing with kids, you know, little kids, they are just the same thing, they're tuned in, tapped in, turned on. You know, at this point, when they're just little, you know, little little ones, just like the animals, there's no censorship, there's just either they vibe with your energy or they don't.

Clearing Your Space To Rest Deeper

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah. When my kids were little, they would see spirit. So cool. They don't talk about it much anymore, uh, because they're adulting now. But they would see they would see spirits in my mom's bathroom. They in the old house we lived in, they would see a cat, like an orange cat down in the bathroom. Cute. And occasionally my daughter still mentions that she sees stuff kind of walking around in this house. Like it's not, she hasn't brought it up in a while, but the last time she did, I'm like, yeah, like it's not, it's not a negative thing. They're just present. They're they were here before the neighborhood was here, right? It was it's an old energy and they're not doing anything. They're not harming anything, they're just floating around in this space, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

But some of it also comes through us because when you're a portal, when you're sleeping, which can lead to my little tidbit here, my little tip is we are little portals. I used to astral travel like nobody's business at night. And I'd wake up more exhausted. I'd worked all night and I'd wake up more exhausted than I did before I went to sleep and stuff like that. And I recognized I was also being somewhat of a portal or you know, bringing spirits in. There was a lot more activity and stuff. So I had to one set my intention that I don't want to astral travel. And then two, kind of same thing, blessing my space. I'm a big believer in, and I just shared this with a client of mine the other day, that putting a bowl of water under your bed with lemon grass drops. I learned this from an amazing healer I know who's been healing people with her eyes since she was four. And she's a believer in cutting lemons and putting them in rooms to help clear the energy of rooms. I'm a believer in cutting lemons, putting them in rooms, but then also open your closets. You know, the corners are where the energy is, cleaning out your corners of your house, opening um closets, and you can sage it, you can drum it, you can whatever it may be. I regularly put a big old bowl of water underneath my bed with lemongrass, essential oil drops under my bed, and I'll leave it under there for maybe two, maybe three nights, and I change it out regularly, and it clears my mattress. It does wonders with for my sleep, and it does wonders for the fact that when you're asleep, what's coming through you, what you're processing off you energetically gets stored in your mattress. So I do it all the time. Cutting lemons and rooms, all sorts of stuff. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I'll be doing that tonight. I know, like, and you, I would put, because you have a two a two fur bed. I sleep, you know, like I sleep like a starfish in the middle of my bed. Um, you put a bowl, put two bowls of water for John's side and your side and stuff like that, underneath the mattress and stuff. That does, you know, like I said, it really does help. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Yeah, it's it's worth the go for sure to see how we feel in the morning.

Planetary Alignment And Lineage Rage

SPEAKER_01 25:44

And then leading, you know, the other thing that I have, so here's the other, these are the things that I wanted to, you know, have this podcast be about. Um, there's a couple of uh things that I've learned that I thought it would be supportive of people um listening. And then also just to talk a minute about what's happening on the planet with the planetary alignment. I don't know this stuff and I've said it before. I've taken astrology classes, third house, second house, 56th house in this area. It I walk, I swear I walk out dumber every time I've taken two classes. I think I walked out just none of it stuck. So I defer to people who this is just an amazing gift that they have. And they say the planetary alignments right now, and like I said, this is scientific, the planetary alignments right now are unprecedented. We've never seen this alignment, and we won't see it again in this lifetime. So, what this is doing on a cellular level to our body is bringing up stuff and the deep-rooted stuff, and it's not just stuff from our childhood, it can be stuff from lifetimes. I've cleared more times than I count. Um, the rage in my lineage, the rage in my DNA. Um, I, you know, when I started doing, I would look at this line of women because I had a lot of farmers, which is surprising because all I want, which is interesting because I want to change. I'm the way changer in this lifetime, and I want a farm, as you know, and I want to create a sanctuary, but I also want it to be where it changes the farmers in my past. That was all trauma, abuse, animals were eaten, da-da-da. I'm like, mine is gonna be wildflowers, the animals aren't eaten, you know, that sort of thing. Like, so I really one day planned to find my farm. But my lineage, when I would look at it, was just these pinched, angry women, mostly women, because here they had married these men either because they felt like they had to, had no other options, or B married them because they thought they loved them, and then they find out these guys were just awful, abused, physically abused, baby after baby after baby, um, because that's my mother was a perfect example. At five years old, she was no longer a child. She was out in the fields at five years old. She was allowed to play and be a kid. And then five years old, you're out in the fields and working, picking vegetables and all stuff. That was, you know, like I said, that was part of that was your labor in as a farmer and stuff, your child labor. Um, and I remember looking at photos, and my brother sent me this zip drive of the black and white photos of all these ancestors I'd never seen on my father's side, on my mother's side. And it's just so I laugh because it's so sad and depressing. Like you see, the man, he's all pinched, you know, all this kind of stuff, and he's all and then there's six kids, and then the woman at the end is same thing as everyone's all dressed, and everyone's like bleary eyed because you know that they, you know, must have taken exhausted and sad. Exhausted, exactly. But you get down to the wife, and she looks twice as age, and she's just had six plus six to ten babies, that kind of thing, and and she's vacant. It's just so sad. Like there's like no life in her eyes, and that's what I saw in ancestor after ancestor after ancestor. So I've been doing the heavy lift of clearing that, and in clearing that has been rage. And rage has not just been my lineage and my ancestral roots, rage has been the collective rage, and especially the rage of women. And the rage has been because of repression, oppression, you know, everything we've been through since the history of patriarchy is real still.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

All of that since the beginning of time, we lack of options, lack of control, lack of freedom.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Everything was controlled by men, and being chattel, and we were vessels for birthing, right? Right. No love, nothing.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Or just sex, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Yeah, yeah.

Safe Ways To Release Anger

SPEAKER_01 30:15

So for me, I saw a snippet of a video, and the woman was a rage counselor, and she was saying the importance of women, not just being like um so the cool thing was I I always stumble upon things that just are amazing messages. She says that we hold rage down the right side of the outside of our ribs and the left side of the downside of the outside of our ribs. That's where we hold our rage and the rage, the planetary rage, the lineage and everything. And I was like, oh, that's fascinating. And so she was saying that the importance is when you're hitting something, like if you're getting your anger out and you're hitting something, like they'll do that in therapies. I've done that before as a therapist with my clients and stuff like that. But she says the importance is you need to be over your head and bring it down, like you're chopping wood with an ax, you know, just and I have what's called a dam it doll. And the dam it doll, you can get it on Amazon, they're amazing. Damn it doll from my therapizing practice. And I have been beating the shit out of my bed at night. I've been doing a silent rage because I don't need to, you know, traumatize my animals. And then during the day, when I'm like, okay, everybody outside, just go just go enjoy the sunshine for a while and I'll close the door. I will be inside, just literally raging, hitting the couch, the chairs. I sobbed. I released so much rage. It was amazing. I've done it now probably like three times. And for the first time, I don't feel like I want need to do it. Like I'm like, okay, well, you know, down the road, whatever. And for the first time, I don't feel like angry. I'm not I'm not fire fiery like I used to be. Like I'm just so much more calm and patient. And oh my gosh, it's just been life-altering. So I'm like here to encourage the women of the planet to beat the bejesus out of preferably an inanimate object, not your spouse or your chili, not your children. Or your critters. Right. Just go beat a cat.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Any sort of any sort of animal or like stuffed animal that you you have around the house or a pillow, like something that you can slam into something else without causing harm. Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

There's the foam bats. You can buy those foam, those whiffable swim noodles. Noodle stuff is gratifying, I'd imagine, because you need something like heft. You know, you really like. I'm like, if I had some wood to chop, I have an axe, but if I had some wood to chop, I would find that very therapeutic to be like, you know, it was, I'm not exaggerating. It's just that's been that was such a great tidbit of information I stumbled across and ready to release that. And then I think I've told you that for years I've burped. Like when I get energy and I'm releasing energy, I've burped. And it was getting to the point where I'd have nights where I couldn't sleep because I was just burping and full moons and burping. It was so frustrating. And since I've done that, since I've raged and that because liver's all anger, since I've released that, I barely burp anymore.

unknown 33:32

Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

So I'm like, I hope it sticks. I know. I'm well, it will because all I have to do when it starts kind of like, oh, I'm starting to burp more. I'm like, okay, I think I need to go beat something.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

You know, it's time to beat the bed or the so true. It's liberating too, you know, because we're as women, we're kind of like stereotypically told and brainwashed that we need to like keep our composure, take care of everybody else, put what we need last. You know, we need to maintain the foundation of the household and the family and blah blah blah and the child rearing and all the things.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Well, and it's and it's tiring.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

Yeah, it is. And what we don't put us on the list of what we need to take care of, like the deep stuff.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's the beauty of you give yourself space, even if that's what you have time to do, and you're just out in the backyard beating the bejesus out of something out in the backyard, you know, everybody's inside. It's also a for me, it was the wording of I'm too much or I'm not enough. I feel like most of everything women believe about themselves and the shame is a lot of it boils down to I'm either too much or I'm not enough or doing enough or being enough or the persona or what is my mask? All of that. Yeah. Exhausting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Definitely can relate to all of that. It's very hard to find a place where we really feel like we belong inside of ourselves. Yeah. You know, it's like a feeling of I'm in the living in this body, but it doesn't feel like I belong here and I don't even know who this body is and what it needs to really feel safe and okay.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

And I think a lot of the stuffing of rage and my body work and the healing work that I do, it lands in your back. It lands in your pelvis and it lands down your legs. And that's all like the lower three chakras, the solar, the sacral, and the root affect women deeply because we're stuffers. We stuff what we want, we stuff what we need. We stuff anger, we stuff discontent, we stuff feeling worthy, and like we stuff what we get from other how other people make us feel. You know, we stuff it all, and it lands in our pelvis, and it sits in there and it radiates pain into our backs and down our legs. And I I feel that in a lot of women that I work with, you know, some are just so insecure in who they are, like their shell looks beautiful, right? But inside they just there's loathing, there's just like a hate who I am and me, and what I'm like, I don't feel like I'm doing enough and being enough and making enough, and it's it's deep inside all of all of us women to some degree, right? It's just a matter of how much do you fester in it on a day-to-day. Yeah, I was thinking I think if we're we were allowed to rage in a healthy way, I think our bodies would feel a heck of a lot better, right? Because the body does keep the score, you know, our bodies would feel more free, our energy would be more balanced, yeah. We would probably get our needs met more often. Yeah, if we were allowed to just release instead of always being composed and beautiful and like we got it all together, none of us have it together. None of us. I know that's the beauty. We're all just like fuck. Am I doing any of this right? So true. So true.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

And I think that's where the beauty of it is, is being my favorite saying now is I am perfectly imperfect, or I'm oh look, I'm being human. Oh wow, I'm having a human moment and that sort of thing, and it not being I'm too much or not enough and stuff. And for me, I spent a lot of time where I think this is what happens for a lot of people is I spent a lot of time disassociating from my body because I didn't feel safe. There's the big word for me. That's a that gives me goosebumps. It's so powerful for me. Feeling safe in my body was, and I just constantly and I look back and going, where was I during that? Like, even I look back now in some of my marriage, and I was like, Where was I? I was so disassociating, you know. Oh, yeah. I remember my moments raising Brody, raiding raising my son, but there were so many times where I was like, Holy cow, like, I don't, that's a spans of time. I either don't numb. Yeah, exactly. Or I was like, why would I say that? Why would I say that's okay? Why did I agree to that? Why did I, you know, over, you know, all of that stuff. Yeah, because I completely disassociated. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Yeah, I can relate to that in my marriage too. You know, I had to fake, I had to fake for for a long time while my kids were little, you know, and just pretend, put on the mask of we're good, things are great, I feel fulfilled in every way.

SPEAKER_04 39:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Lies, lies, lies. You know, we stuff the lies, we we tell the lies, we try to convince ourselves that we believe the lies. And that makes us more ragey. Yes. That makes us not only resent the person that's pissing us off, but it makes us resent ourselves because we're supposed to love ourselves and we're just ignoring what we need and blowing ourselves off, and then we expect to still function and and produce in the world. You know, it's just it's a hard balance.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Yeah. My disassociating was more along the lines of I had to look a certain way. My I had such a solid persona. Like the youngest of age, the programming I got was I found myself worth in the way that I looked. And if someone, and because someone made a comment with the way that I looked, and then I just grabbed hold of that, you know, that's the reason I modeled. That's the reason I lived in LA. That's the reason, you know, California is all where I lived. It was all about what you look like and stuff. And so for me, now growing older and looking in the mirror, having to let that ego die and just being like, okay, it's okay. I can just, it's okay. My body's not the same, my hormones aren't the same, you know, all that kind of stuff. It's just weird and stuff, but it's still a matter of it's an exercise of just being like, I just love myself. I'm gonna look in the mirror, look at myself, and just find a way to love myself without somebody else telling me they love me. It's it's such a great exercise and stuff. But yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

So just I want to do, I want to um touch on two more things and then I'm pretty much my list is done. Okay. All right. Yeah. That sounds great. What do you want to talk about next?

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Um, what I would like to talk about next is um, oh, I wanted to go back to, oh, I want what I wanted to address was when you are um like your our thoughts about ourself and that stuff coming up and stuff like that, and how you can recognize when it's yours or when it's somebody else's, and you've just taken on somebody else's energy. I am definitely sensitive to even going into certain stores and I'm just like, I have to take a moment to just put on my armor, my energetic armor, my bubble up, I call it my bubbling up and that sort of thing, because I take on, I can take, I can stand in line at a, you know, check out of somewhere and I can feel the person behind me, what's going on, and that sort of thing. So what I tend to do also, and I showed somebody this, and this was really cool, um life altering, life altering for them, they said, was um snapping, you know, clearing your energy. I do it at night and stuff like that because what you take in visually, so you can clear the energy of your eyes, and then also what you take in auditorially and stuff like that, like what you've heard or snippets or whatever it is, and you can clear that, you can clear under your feet, you know, lift your foot up and clear under your foot and clear that, wipe, you know, all this kind of stuff kind of wiping off. And then it just starts helping you navigate what is yours and what you are you absorbing, or what did you just absorb? And then the other thing that I love to do, which is something that has been just one of the best things I've learned for myself, is uh with again the planetary alignments and all this wild shifting stuff happening, with these emotions that are coming up, when you stuff them down, you start getting back issues, right? Because back is past. When you stuff them down and you feel it in sacral, that's all about feeling safety. Your sacral is your, I mean, your yeah, your sacral is your safety. And also when you have, you know, anything that the root and that sort of thing is blocked and that sort of thing, that is also then how hard it is to connect to the earth, connect to, you know, the root, you know, the root of the earth and stuff and keep yourself grounded. And so what I do is, and this seems to sometimes happen, usually in the car, I'll be driving along and all of a sudden just this wave of like fear of I'm not safe or something is something old stuff and that sort of thing. And I'll be like, okay, I definitely can tell this is planetary. What I do, and what they say that scientifically, if you give yourself 90 seconds to just allow that feeling, like the worst, like you were and I were talking the other day, worst case scenario. Allow that worst case scenario. Because so many people are like, no, no, no, it's push it down, push it down, push it down. And you're doing that, and it's then sitting in your back, it's sitting in an organ, it's sitting somewhere, versus I'm just gonna sit here and let that emotion really come up, and it is kick you in the butt, can be, because that's what it's been for me lately. But I'm like, okay, I'm gonna time it, and for 90 seconds, I'm just gonna allow this to happen. And sure enough, if I allow it, then it's amazing how it whoo and it goes away. And then if it happens again, it's much lighter. And then I notice it's not, I'm not getting those repeating thoughts, or that doesn't trigger me anymore. And when I see that, that doesn't even phase me anymore, or that person said something. Oh my gosh, that. Doesn't even bother me anymore. I didn't even remember that I used to have a reaction to it and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

So yeah, because anxiety is about running away from something, right? And if you if you sit in it and not run from it, it's gonna probably escalate a little bit, but then it'll dissipate if you just keep if you keep with it and be like, okay, what? And then what? You know, and then what? Yeah. And then what? Right. And breathe. And and then breathe. You know, and then you like you create solutions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

What's a worst case scenario? Let me see that. Right. And then it's not so scary. Right. Let me dig. Okay. And then what? And then you dig. And then, oh wow, that. But then the key would also be like those deep breaths as well, because that's gonna help oxygenate and cleanse as well and release stuff too. So people, so many times when they get scared or anxious or anything like that, we start to hold our breath. I start to go, I start to clench my jaw and I do this and that sort of thing, or my lips disappear and stuff. And so I'm like, nope, not doing that. Just gonna, worst case scenario, let me go. And like you said, and then what? And then what?

SPEAKER_03 45:43

And then right, right. That helps me a lot. Just saying, okay, I get a scary thought. And then what? Okay, what would I do to solve that little piece of problem, you know, and then what? And if you start to like think of a solution, it it is less scary and has less power, you know, than if you were to just let the fear just take over your entire body.

unknown 46:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 46:12

That's always an option too, but I wouldn't recommend that. You know, we're talking about tools to like decompress, right? Right. To have your power back for women to feel stronger and in their own space, love their bodies where they're at, and be able to control scenarios.

unknown 46:31

Right.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

So and they are currently, right?

SPEAKER_01 46:35

Right, absolutely. And the other thing that happens then as well is if you allow yourself to just allow the feelings to come up, the emotions to come up versus let me now problem solve, let me now prom solve. Like rather than going down the rabbit hole would be I'm going down the rabbit hole, but I'm just gonna let this fear come up. And the moment I start attaching it to what it used to be, why I'm fearful, let me figure out why I'm afraid, da-da-da. Instead, I just go, no, I'm just letting the fear come up. I'm just gonna breathe through the fear rather than, like I said, attaching the story to it. Because then you're still kind of going up into your mind and you're, you know, figuring it out, figuring it out, and that still can create anxiety versus I don't know what this is attached to. And the moment I start trying to attach it to something, to some could be very, very truly a false narrative, right? Usually rather than, yeah, exactly. And rather than trying to attach it to something, I'm just going to whoo, I'm having a really scary feeling right now. I'm just letting some fear come up and just and then, like I said, 90 seconds of that. Just feel your feels, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

Yeah, feel your feels, ladies. Feel your feels, allow yourself to feel the feels, don't be shameful or guilt around feeling the feels. Yeah, we are powerful beings when we're allowed to keep our power and use it the way we want. Yeah, yeah. When we really not let uh external stimuli take our power, make us feel like we don't deserve to have power.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

Oh, that's the hard that's the biggest brainwash there.

Rage Rooms After Big Life Changes

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Yeah, yeah. Like we're supposed to stay small. That's how it was in my marriage. I was kept in this small little compartment of you are only so capable without me. You know, you can't do this and this long list of you can't do this without me here. But the truth of the matter was he took my power, and I am capable of a heck of a lot more than I was brainwashed into thinking I was capable of without him. Did you did he take it or did you give it away?

SPEAKER_01 48:53

He took it. I always try what I always go to is if this is happening for me, then I'm then nobody can make me feel or not feel, or whatever it is. It's my choice to have that feeling, or to just and get butthurt, or just be like, I'm over it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

I I fought for my feelings to stay true and valid. They were just unvalidated by my partner. And after 17 years of that, you know, you kind of numb out, right? You're like, I just gotta raise my kids for a little while longer. You know, you numb out. Yeah, yeah, you do. Because you just gotta survive and do life the best you can and fake your way through it until you have an escape route planned.

SPEAKER_01 49:45

See, and then you would have been great to have a um like a foam bat, and you just beat him while he's standing up.

SPEAKER_03 49:56

I had fantasies about beating him with real objects. Yes, yes. After my divorce was final, I went to the rage room downtown and smashed computer pro like uh printers and glass and ceramic and metal objects. You hit them with baseball bats and golf clubs and sledgehammers. It's called the rage room, it's the most beautiful thing in the world.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 50:28

And uh, I took the kids there because they were pissed about divorce too, you know? Yeah, and we raged and we hit things and we listened to heavy metal music, and then we went out for Dairy Queen afterwards, and we felt great.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

That's awesome. We did the same thing. I thought it'd be so therapeutic for Brody just to like let's open up some things because he was always like worried about me and taking care of me. He chose Christmas songs, Christmas happy songs, and he was just walking around going, ding, ding. Meanwhile, I'm in the corner, like, you know, I'm beating this the row, this rubber, uh blue rubber tub, and I beat the bejesus out of that. That was amazing. He meanwhile, he's just like smashing a little dish and dancing around to Christmas songs and smashing a little dish. We just did it again uh this Christmas. It was his Christmas gift and stuff, and I was over there and I'm just ding breaking things and all this kind of stuff. And he's the he's living with you know his dad now. So he's got so he's got a lot more anger than I do. It was great. A little roll reversal there.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

He's young and tall, you know, he can handle it for a while longer.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

Gosh, yeah, it's it's a magical. So yeah, don't feel free, don't feel like you can't, you gotta hold it all in, ladies. Just find a healthy, yeah, an outlet, right? Legal way to get arrested. Yeah, exactly. Find ways like legal ways to release. Look up if you have a local rage room near you.

unknown 52:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:06

Oh, it's brilliant. Um, or get that nerf bat, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

Or nerf bat.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Don't forget the damage doll.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

Go and beat on some things and let it out, scream and yell.

SPEAKER_00 52:19

Yeah, so true. It's so lovely.

Final Takeaways And Goodbye

SPEAKER_03 52:21

It's it does help. For me though, it like builds back up and I gotta do it. Yeah. Maybe you just gotta do it more. Over and over again. Yeah. On the rag. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I love you so much. I am so happy that you are here today with me, and we got to talk about some cool stuff for women and giving them some tools to feel more empowered. Yeah. To embrace it, right? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you everyone for listening. Stay tuned for the next one. Take care.