{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.16,"endTime":3.88,"body":"Because if we're not doing this, it doesn't matter what we say. We can use"},{"startTime":3.92,"endTime":7.432,"body":"the best tools in our belt, but if we don't do this first, it's not"},{"startTime":7.456,"endTime":11.288,"body":"gonna go well. We have to first take inventory of where"},{"startTime":11.344,"endTime":15.016,"body":"we're at, what's going on inside of us, before we have a feedback"},{"startTime":15.048,"endTime":18.824,"body":"conversation. Welcome to the Managing Made simple podcast"},{"startTime":18.872,"endTime":22.392,"body":"where you get a masterclass in managing your team with ease in 15 minutes or"},{"startTime":22.416,"endTime":26.072,"body":"less. I'm Leah Garvin, your host and team operations consultant. Through"},{"startTime":26.096,"endTime":29.784,"body":"this show and my programs with small businesses and corporate teams, I condense a"},{"startTime":29.792,"endTime":33.524,"body":"decade of experience driving Team OPER in some of the most influential"},{"startTime":33.572,"endTime":36.98,"body":"companies in tech into strategies to save you time, money, and most of all,"},{"startTime":37.02,"endTime":40.756,"body":"stress. Doesn't matter if you're a business owner who realize that running a team isn't"},{"startTime":40.788,"endTime":43.732,"body":"as easy as you thought it would be. Are a new manager learning the ropes"},{"startTime":43.796,"endTime":47.268,"body":"or are a seasoned manager ready to up their game? Everyone is welcome to hang"},{"startTime":47.284,"endTime":51.06,"body":"out with Managing Made Simple. From conflicts to feedback to delegating and"},{"startTime":51.1,"endTime":54.612,"body":"more, we leave no stone unturned when it comes to what makes us love managing."},{"startTime":54.676,"endTime":58.462,"body":"Kind of hate it and everything in between. Let's go. Welcome back"},{"startTime":58.486,"endTime":62.318,"body":"to the show. I am flying high. Just got back from"},{"startTime":62.374,"endTime":66.174,"body":"the California Conference for Women where I did a booth advertising the"},{"startTime":66.182,"endTime":69.79,"body":"new Manager Playbook and not only did I have a line of folks coming up"},{"startTime":69.83,"endTime":72.734,"body":"to get a copy and talk to me, I sold out of a hundred copies"},{"startTime":72.782,"endTime":76.558,"body":"in almost an hour. It was just so exciting to see people"},{"startTime":76.614,"endTime":80.158,"body":"so excited about the book. And I think what people like about it is it's"},{"startTime":80.174,"endTime":83.182,"body":"something they can get for themselves if they're a new manager. Something you can get"},{"startTime":83.206,"endTime":86.846,"body":"for a team member. If you are about to promote someone into a manager"},{"startTime":86.878,"endTime":90.41,"body":"or hire a manager, it's something you can give to a friend. It's a refresher."},{"startTime":90.57,"endTime":94.314,"body":"And really true to its name, it is a playbook. And so"},{"startTime":94.322,"endTime":97.642,"body":"it doesn't have to be read in sequence. Each chapter dives into specific"},{"startTime":97.706,"endTime":101.45,"body":"skills. It's got worksheets and exercises and tools. It's just"},{"startTime":101.49,"endTime":105.002,"body":"so easy to up and reference something just that you're feeling stuck on in that"},{"startTime":105.026,"endTime":108.762,"body":"moment. So if you have not gotten your copy, oh gosh, what are you waiting"},{"startTime":108.826,"endTime":112.266,"body":"for? Go to the new manager now. Wait. Go to"},{"startTime":112.338,"endTime":115.946,"body":"leahgarva.com new manager playbook or Amazon. Search"},{"startTime":115.978,"endTime":119.018,"body":"for the new Manager Playbook and get a copy today. And I just can't wait"},{"startTime":119.034,"endTime":122.282,"body":"to help make managing easier for for you or your team member or your Friend"},{"startTime":122.306,"endTime":125.658,"body":"or whoever that might be. All right? And once you get a copy and dive"},{"startTime":125.674,"endTime":129.226,"body":"in, please let me know what you think. I love, love hearing from folks"},{"startTime":129.258,"endTime":132.89,"body":"on how it's helping them in their role. All right, so today,"},{"startTime":133.01,"endTime":136.858,"body":"though, I want to dive into one of the skills that I talk about at"},{"startTime":136.914,"endTime":140.49,"body":"length in the new manager playbook, a topic I talk about a lot on this"},{"startTime":140.53,"endTime":144.346,"body":"show. And it's a topic that's whenever I do an episode on this."},{"startTime":144.418,"endTime":147.962,"body":"This is one of the most popular episode types because, folks,"},{"startTime":148.026,"endTime":151.37,"body":"we're hungry to learn about this. And drum roll, please. It's"},{"startTime":151.45,"endTime":154.896,"body":"feedback. Because no matter how long you've been managing,"},{"startTime":155.008,"endTime":158.8,"body":"feedback is a doozy, right? Because what we might have nailed in one"},{"startTime":158.84,"endTime":162.08,"body":"situation, you know, we got a new team member, or maybe we're managing folks over"},{"startTime":162.12,"endTime":165.952,"body":"different time zones or managing folks, some are remote and some are in office, or"},{"startTime":165.976,"endTime":169.088,"body":"we're managing folks that are way younger than us or way older than us or"},{"startTime":169.144,"endTime":172.88,"body":"some new situation. And it just throws all the rules out the window,"},{"startTime":172.96,"endTime":175.872,"body":"right? Or it makes it hard all over again. I hope you do still keep"},{"startTime":175.896,"endTime":178.992,"body":"the tools, not just throw them out the window. But you get what I'm saying."},{"startTime":179.096,"endTime":182.928,"body":"Some moments it's easier, some moments it's harder, and most of the time, it's somewhere"},{"startTime":182.944,"endTime":186.782,"body":"in between. And usually with a feedback conversation, it's like the"},{"startTime":186.806,"endTime":190.382,"body":"way it goes is something we never expect. We prepare, we prepare, we prepare. And"},{"startTime":190.406,"endTime":193.55,"body":"then our team member says something that throws us off. Like, they handle it way"},{"startTime":193.59,"endTime":197.39,"body":"better than we thought or way worse even than we prepped. So we always"},{"startTime":197.43,"endTime":201.134,"body":"want to be building our muscles. Now, I've talked about my favorite feedback"},{"startTime":201.182,"endTime":204.958,"body":"framework a number of times. Situation, behavior, impact. I talk about it again"},{"startTime":205.014,"endTime":208.654,"body":"in the new manager playbook. I've talked about the importance of recognizing"},{"startTime":208.702,"endTime":212.374,"body":"work, right? Giving positive feedback so that we kind of rebrand Feedback"},{"startTime":212.422,"endTime":216.102,"body":"is not all bad. But today I wanted to talk about what we have to"},{"startTime":216.126,"endTime":219.75,"body":"do even before having a feedback conversation. Because if we're not"},{"startTime":219.79,"endTime":223.51,"body":"doing this, it doesn't matter what we say. We can use the best"},{"startTime":223.55,"endTime":227.302,"body":"tools in our belt, but if we don't do this first, it's not going to"},{"startTime":227.326,"endTime":231.062,"body":"go well. And what is that? We have to first"},{"startTime":231.246,"endTime":234.774,"body":"take inventory of where we're at, what's going on inside of"},{"startTime":234.782,"endTime":238.44,"body":"us before we have a feedback conversation. Because a lot of"},{"startTime":238.48,"endTime":242.184,"body":"times this is for constructive feedback. Typically when"},{"startTime":242.272,"endTime":245.88,"body":"we have to deliver a message that something didn't go well or, you know,"},{"startTime":245.92,"endTime":249.288,"body":"something's been a pattern, we really just gotta nip it in the bud. Or something"},{"startTime":249.344,"endTime":253.128,"body":"has to be fixed because we're the manager and we're under a lot of pressure"},{"startTime":253.224,"endTime":256.28,"body":"and maybe this person's done this a bunch of times and maybe we've already said"},{"startTime":256.32,"endTime":260.152,"body":"something. A lot of times we bring an emotional charge to the"},{"startTime":260.176,"endTime":263.97,"body":"conversation that results in us saying the feedback's about"},{"startTime":264.01,"endTime":267.794,"body":"one thing, but it's really about something else. Or we are overinflating"},{"startTime":267.842,"endTime":271.458,"body":"the significance of a piece of feedback when it was a minor thing because we've"},{"startTime":271.474,"endTime":275.026,"body":"been holding on to all this other stuff. And the problem"},{"startTime":275.098,"endTime":278.946,"body":"is when we don't let go and work through whatever we're"},{"startTime":278.978,"endTime":282.802,"body":"carrying with us, it becomes confusing to our team member. Alarming. They're like,"},{"startTime":282.826,"endTime":285.906,"body":"whoa. Like they don't really know what to expect. It's hard to calibrate the severity"},{"startTime":285.938,"endTime":289.442,"body":"of this. It can break trust with our team member. They can feel"},{"startTime":289.546,"endTime":293.312,"body":"like, ah, like you know, under attack. And I don't mean that you just"},{"startTime":293.336,"endTime":296.88,"body":"come in yelling at someone, but a lot of times people can read it on"},{"startTime":296.92,"endTime":300.16,"body":"your face if it's not okay. They can read it in your body language, your"},{"startTime":300.2,"endTime":303.728,"body":"tone. I think they say like 70% of communication is"},{"startTime":303.784,"endTime":307.456,"body":"non verbal. Right. It's not just what we say, it's how we say it."},{"startTime":307.528,"endTime":311.04,"body":"It's how we're showing up. And so we do not want to give"},{"startTime":311.08,"endTime":314.864,"body":"feedback until we have processed whatever's going on. Let me"},{"startTime":314.872,"endTime":318.672,"body":"give an example. Like if your team member has been late to"},{"startTime":318.696,"endTime":322.332,"body":"the team meeting, they're the old coming in 10 minutes late carrying an"},{"startTime":322.356,"endTime":326.012,"body":"iced coffee, saying there was a traffic jam, right? Every morning at the"},{"startTime":326.036,"endTime":329.436,"body":"9 o'clock meeting, they're coming in 9, 10,"},{"startTime":329.588,"endTime":332.972,"body":"flustered, out of breath, holding that iced coffee and you're so"},{"startTime":332.996,"endTime":336.636,"body":"frustrated and you haven't said something because you don't really know. You haven't"},{"startTime":336.668,"endTime":339.74,"body":"figured out what to say. You don't want to be nitpicking. And then that team"},{"startTime":339.78,"endTime":343.292,"body":"member one day sends a deck out to your VP and they"},{"startTime":343.316,"endTime":347.128,"body":"forgot to attach the attachment. And you see that come through"},{"startTime":347.184,"endTime":350.872,"body":"and you're like this freaking person again with their bullshit."},{"startTime":351.016,"endTime":354.76,"body":"And you get triggered by that. That's not because of the"},{"startTime":354.8,"endTime":358.616,"body":"email attachment. You were already triggered about this feedback you hadn't shared"},{"startTime":358.648,"endTime":361.576,"body":"with them. Or maybe you shared feedback about the late thing and it hadn't gotten"},{"startTime":361.608,"endTime":365.288,"body":"better. But you're carrying this emotional charge and if you"},{"startTime":365.344,"endTime":368.632,"body":"go right then walk down over that task or open up your slack or your"},{"startTime":368.656,"endTime":371.88,"body":"email or your chat and you send them in a piece of feedback right after"},{"startTime":371.92,"endTime":374.834,"body":"it, cause you want to Give it timely. We're supposed to give feedback right away,"},{"startTime":374.952,"endTime":378.782,"body":"and you're carrying that emotional charge. This is not going to be about that"},{"startTime":378.806,"endTime":382.638,"body":"attachment. Trust me. We don't want to bring that over there."},{"startTime":382.774,"endTime":386.622,"body":"What we want to do first, let's say that attachment doesn't go through and you"},{"startTime":386.646,"endTime":390.382,"body":"feel super wound up and you're like, this is it, I'm done. Let's say that"},{"startTime":390.406,"endTime":393.95,"body":"happens. Taking a deep breath and saying, okay, what's really going on right"},{"startTime":393.99,"endTime":397.07,"body":"now? Okay, Asking yourself, take an"},{"startTime":397.11,"endTime":400.942,"body":"inventory. Take some deep breaths. What is showing up? What's here for"},{"startTime":400.966,"endTime":404.804,"body":"me right now? You're gonna see. I'm really fed up about them being late."},{"startTime":404.892,"endTime":408.596,"body":"And the detachment actually really, in some sense has something to do with it. Maybe"},{"startTime":408.628,"endTime":412.18,"body":"disrespect and, like, not paying attention. But, like, this attachment's not about the being"},{"startTime":412.22,"endTime":415.924,"body":"late. And so what I need to do first, well, maybe I"},{"startTime":415.932,"endTime":419.684,"body":"gotta address the being late thing first. But if I'm gonna bring up the attachment,"},{"startTime":419.732,"endTime":423.508,"body":"because again, you do wanna bring things up right in the moment when they happen"},{"startTime":423.564,"endTime":427.332,"body":"or shortly after. So the person has that context saying, right now I"},{"startTime":427.356,"endTime":431.034,"body":"can't make it about the being late because that's not what this instance is about."},{"startTime":431.202,"endTime":434.794,"body":"And then letting that go and approaching the conversation from a different"},{"startTime":434.882,"endTime":438.682,"body":"level, kind of like diffusing some of that emotion. Because"},{"startTime":438.706,"endTime":441.594,"body":"if you bring in and then. Then you were late and then this happened, and"},{"startTime":441.602,"endTime":445.034,"body":"this happened, the person, it becomes so overwhelming to that team member, and they're thinking,"},{"startTime":445.082,"endTime":448.458,"body":"gosh, what else have you been tallying up? Right? We've been there in those personal"},{"startTime":448.514,"endTime":452.202,"body":"arguments, or the other person's like, whoa, like, didn't realize that much she"},{"startTime":452.226,"endTime":455.992,"body":"hated me. We don't want to do that to our team members. And this"},{"startTime":456.016,"endTime":458.792,"body":"is one thing triggering you is not the moment to realize that you had this"},{"startTime":458.816,"endTime":462.488,"body":"laundry list that you didn't give the feedback, right? So this sometimes is a reflection"},{"startTime":462.504,"endTime":466.232,"body":"on us too, that, gosh, I gotta be giving the microfeedback so that I'm not"},{"startTime":466.256,"endTime":469.768,"body":"piling up these examples, okay? And that's not easy. And"},{"startTime":469.904,"endTime":473.432,"body":"trust me, like, I get there a lot. And I'm like,"},{"startTime":473.456,"endTime":477.224,"body":"gosh, well, I get so fed up with something that"},{"startTime":477.312,"endTime":479.544,"body":"I'm like, well, I gotta say it right now and I gotta do this and"},{"startTime":479.552,"endTime":483.298,"body":"I want to deal with it. And actually, sometimes the timeliness, it's less"},{"startTime":483.354,"endTime":487.202,"body":"important than making sure you are showing up to the conversation the right"},{"startTime":487.226,"endTime":490.914,"body":"way. And I know it kind of contradicts some of the leading best practices"},{"startTime":490.962,"endTime":494.242,"body":"around feedback of giving it In a timely manner, giving it right away. But if"},{"startTime":494.266,"endTime":497.906,"body":"you are showing up, like, really charged, that"},{"startTime":497.978,"endTime":501.762,"body":"has so much possibility of harm to your relationship that"},{"startTime":501.786,"endTime":504.818,"body":"I would wait. Maybe you need a night, maybe you need a few hours, maybe"},{"startTime":504.834,"endTime":508.536,"body":"you need a couple days and saying, hey, this is. Something happened"},{"startTime":508.568,"endTime":512.136,"body":"last week. We haven't had a chance to kind of connect with you, so apologies"},{"startTime":512.168,"endTime":515.832,"body":"for not dealing with it earlier. When we're communicating"},{"startTime":515.896,"endTime":519.704,"body":"and sending out stuff to our VPs, we gotta double check stuff."},{"startTime":519.752,"endTime":523.496,"body":"It's really important. That's part of your job. And my expectation is that you double"},{"startTime":523.528,"endTime":527.32,"body":"check and maybe you make a checklist. And when you're sending something"},{"startTime":527.36,"endTime":531.192,"body":"to our vp, you say, hey, double checking the grammar, double checking that attachments are"},{"startTime":531.216,"endTime":534.262,"body":"sent, and reading through it even after you send it, and giving a piece of"},{"startTime":534.286,"endTime":537.75,"body":"feedback, that's just about that work, just about that"},{"startTime":537.79,"endTime":541.35,"body":"behavior. Right? Because then that person can fix that."},{"startTime":541.47,"endTime":544.454,"body":"And now you're having a conversation about that incident and how they can do better,"},{"startTime":544.542,"endTime":548.262,"body":"not about, like, this whole other bunch of stuff. And then if they're late to"},{"startTime":548.286,"endTime":552.022,"body":"the next team meeting next week, have that conversation about that thing."},{"startTime":552.126,"endTime":554.774,"body":"Okay? But you're only able to get there when you take stock. And, like, what"},{"startTime":554.782,"endTime":558.182,"body":"are you even so mad about in the first place? So, again, this is what"},{"startTime":558.206,"endTime":561.988,"body":"we want to do before we have any feedback conversation at work. And"},{"startTime":562.134,"endTime":565.064,"body":"come on, are you listening? Listening to me like, well, I should do that in"},{"startTime":565.072,"endTime":568.728,"body":"my first life too. Yes. Yes, you should. Before"},{"startTime":568.784,"endTime":572.328,"body":"we have any confrontation with anyone, we always should be taking"},{"startTime":572.384,"endTime":576.152,"body":"stock about what am I bringing to this conversation so that we"},{"startTime":576.176,"endTime":579.672,"body":"can be both communicating on the same plane. And when we do"},{"startTime":579.696,"endTime":583.352,"body":"that, we start to find that things aren't explosive and they're not so bubbly. And"},{"startTime":583.376,"endTime":586.952,"body":"maybe if we're reactive, sort of, we default a little bit reactive. I know I"},{"startTime":586.976,"endTime":590.722,"body":"do that. We. We figure out how to. Oh, you know, when I've"},{"startTime":590.786,"endTime":594.562,"body":"sort of thought and reflected before the reaction, things go a lot better. They go"},{"startTime":594.586,"endTime":597.602,"body":"a lot more smoothly, and my team member hears me a lot better. And then"},{"startTime":597.626,"endTime":601.474,"body":"we start to see, okay, people are listening to our feedback. It's being actioned."},{"startTime":601.522,"endTime":605.362,"body":"There's less defensiveness. We're not in this weird kind of who's proving right"},{"startTime":605.386,"endTime":608.69,"body":"and wrong. And then you can get so much further. And when you do that,"},{"startTime":608.73,"endTime":612.514,"body":"feedback feels a lot less scary. Because I know when I was managing in the"},{"startTime":612.522,"endTime":616.274,"body":"corporate world, I was always so worried about saying the"},{"startTime":616.282,"endTime":618.594,"body":"wrong thing and doing the wrong thing, or I was frustrated at this other thing"},{"startTime":618.602,"endTime":620.814,"body":"or felt like I was under a lot of pressure, deadlines weren't fair, and all"},{"startTime":620.822,"endTime":624.574,"body":"these other things were adding up all inside that when I would give feedback"},{"startTime":624.702,"endTime":628.046,"body":"because I was frustrated, I didn't want to like explode with that. I would be"},{"startTime":628.118,"endTime":631.182,"body":"really indirect. I'd say, like, yeah, this thing, I guess it's not a big deal,"},{"startTime":631.206,"endTime":633.822,"body":"but like, could you maybe do this next time? And it's like, what did you"},{"startTime":633.846,"endTime":637.694,"body":"just ask me? Right. So I think we can either be a little bit reactive"},{"startTime":637.742,"endTime":640.398,"body":"or we can say nothing. And we don't want to do either of those things."},{"startTime":640.534,"endTime":644.286,"body":"So the self management, taking inventory. This is going to be a secret weapon"},{"startTime":644.398,"endTime":647.982,"body":"for actually being able to connect better with your team member and actually being able"},{"startTime":648.006,"endTime":651.342,"body":"to make a request for a shift you want to see next time that really"},{"startTime":651.366,"endTime":655.182,"body":"sticks. All right, give it a try and share how it goes. I always love"},{"startTime":655.206,"endTime":658.83,"body":"hearing from you. Thank you. Everyone who shares feedback. Ask questions after the shows,"},{"startTime":658.91,"endTime":662.238,"body":"suggest topics. It is so much fun to hear what you think and if you're"},{"startTime":662.254,"endTime":665.902,"body":"loving the show, take 2 minutes, 1 minute, 30 seconds, give a"},{"startTime":665.926,"endTime":669.422,"body":"review. It helps bring the show to more people, bring visibility"},{"startTime":669.566,"endTime":673.224,"body":"to help make managing easier for more folks out there. Thanks so much and see"},{"startTime":673.232,"endTime":676.856,"body":"you next time. That's all I have for today. Thank you so much for tuning"},{"startTime":676.888,"endTime":680.632,"body":"in to the Managing Made simple podcast where my goal is to demystify the job"},{"startTime":680.656,"endTime":684.152,"body":"of people management so that together we can make the workplace somewhere everyone can"},{"startTime":684.176,"endTime":687.672,"body":"thrive. With that said, let's spread the word. If you love this episode, please pass"},{"startTime":687.696,"endTime":690.08,"body":"it along to someone who might benefit from it. See you next time."}]}