Life After Freedom

Ep 20 - Freedom After Sexual Abuse w/ Pastor Janet Swanson

• Joe Negrón • Season 3 • Episode 20

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A lot of people say they’ve “moved on,” but their body still flinches, their mind still spirals, and their heart still expects abandonment. Pastor Janet Swanson joins me for a raw, hope-filled conversation about healing after sexual abuse, the weight of shame, and the quiet ways trauma keeps speaking long after the danger is gone. She shares the story behind her book One Voice and why real recovery often happens in layers, not instant leaps. 

We get practical about triggers and why they can be a gift, not a life sentence. Janet explains how triggers reveal the places that still need care, how identity in Christ is rebuilt over time, and why spiritual freedom and emotional healing don’t always arrive on the same timeline. We also talk about the role of worship, Scripture, and learning to receive love again, especially for survivors who became expert givers because receiving once meant getting hurt. 

Then we go deeper on forgiveness and boundaries. Forgiveness is powerful, but it does not excuse abuse, and it does not require reconciliation with an abuser. Janet breaks down the difference between releasing a person and releasing the pain, and we talk about what it looks like to bring secrets into the light with a counselor, pastor, or healthy church community. She also makes space for men who have carried abuse in silence, and she prays with authority for minds to clear and shame to break. 

If you’re searching for Christian trauma healing, sexual abuse recovery, help with abandonment wounds, or a better understanding of spirit, soul, and body freedom, this conversation is for you. Subscribe to Life After Freedom, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more survivors can find the path toward healing.

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Welcome To Life After Freedom

SPEAKER_05

Hey, welcome. My name is Joe, and this is Life After Freedom. Let's go. Hey, welcome back. I am so excited about today's episode. My guest today is the wife, mother, newly grandma, friend, author, speaker, worship leader, and a mentor who is passionate about helping others discover hope, healing, and freedom found in Jesus. Now, through her own powerful story of restoration from sexual abuse, she encourages others to embrace their identity in Christ, trust God's healing process, and belief that their best days are still ahead. Her authentic heart, biblical wisdom, and uplifting message are impacting lives everywhere she goes. I know you're going to be encouraged by her story and her heart. So let's jump in. Here's my conversation with Pastor Janet Swanson. Well, I am so excited to have you here, Pastor Janet.

SPEAKER_01

Me too. I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this.

SPEAKER_05

This is crazy how you know many years ago we're actually in the same spot that we were. Yes. But so many things have happened since. And what I mean by that is from an interview you did for me, sharing my story, part of my story. And today I get to interview you, have a conversation with you, and just even speak a little bit about what God has done in your life out of the many things, yeah. First of all, thank you for being here, really.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for inviting me. It's such an honor to be here and to speak to your audience, to encourage them and to share my story. I'm just super excited about it.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

I always love our conversations. Always.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, and we work in the same building. And when I have had the opportunity to share even spaces close to your office, sharing coffee together.

SPEAKER_01

Coffee, yeah, that was our first connection besides the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_05

And um experiencing moments like freedom conferences that we do here at the church, and in general, uh, because right now we are in the building, we are at the church building, and it's amazing that we get to experience that life in ministry is challenging and yet so fulfilling and rewarding to what God has called us to do. Absolutely. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And talking about that, you're an amazing minister of God, and so many things that I'll be even allowing you to speak into. But one today that I want to highlight is your book, One Voice. It's incredible, but one thing I want to highlight about the book, your transparency and your boldness to share your story. Why did you name it One Voice?

Why One Voice Was Written

SPEAKER_00

Well, um, I remember the Lord throughout my journey had been taking me through healing layer by layer.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because healing isn't all at one time. Right. It comes with layers. And the Lord is so gracious and so kind and so gentle that he doesn't always just pierce all the way through and get to the bottom of it. He's so gentle that he peels us back layer by layer, and he continues to do that for all of our lives. Because healing is ongoing. It's always something I need to be healed from. So I remember I was going through something. I was a pastor's wife, I was a minister, I was a worship leader, we were leading a church, and I found myself dying on the inside. And I was like, God, what is wrong with me? There has to be something. Why do I feel lonely? Why do I feel abandoned? Why do I feel like nobody loves me? And I'm surrounded by all these people. And I know my husband loves me, I know my kids love me, but there was there was something inside of me that always made me feel like I was alone and I was abandoned. And um, I I would cry myself to sleep for like a year throughout that process. And the Lord was actually peeling back the last layer that would reveal what the root was of why I felt that way, right? And the Lord said to me, You're gonna start your journey of healing. You're gonna write your story down. I want you to meet with me every morning at 5 a.m. And I want you to write, and I'm gonna heal you as you write. I'm gonna reveal myself to you. Well, God, this is a big secret. Nobody knows what I've been through. Are you sure it's time for me to reveal this story? Because it's ugly, it's not pretty, and everybody walks around here like, oh, God is good all the time. How are you? I'm blessed and highly favored, you know. Yeah, and I didn't feel blessed and highly favored. I didn't feel good, but I knew who God was.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And I knew the emotional pain that he had already healed me from, but he went there. He went to the place that I shut the door, and cobwebs actually was growing in that place in my soul. I it had been shut for so long. And when he did, let me tell you, Pastor Joe, I met with the Lord for nine months, five o'clock in the morning for three hours. I wrote my story. I didn't even know how to write. I kept asking the Lord, like, how do you even write a book? I don't even know how to write a book. He was like, I know how. I've written many. Just sit with me. And the one thing that I can say that I did have and I did know how to do was to communicate with my Lord, was is because I was very transparent with God. And it was not religion for me. It was a relationship. And so I went into this relationship with the Lord where I really knew his voice and I could really hear him, and he would show me things, and I could see things, and that's the reason it was real easy for me to teach, for for me to lead worship, because I had really been with him. I had this relationship with him, but I had never told anybody my deep dark secret.

SPEAKER_05

Wow. And by by then, I'm sorry, by then you were how long had you been in church already?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I was 40, been I got saved when I was 17.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, wow.

SPEAKER_00

And I started ministering, I guess, around the age 21, 22. And we went into full-time ministry when I was 28. So from 28 to 40, I had really just uh went through the motions, and I re I I had this real relationship with the Lord. So it was easy to preach. Yeah, it was easy to give what I had been learning and been receiving.

SPEAKER_05

You knew how to do church.

SPEAKER_00

I knew how to do church, yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_05

And um And you were also raised in church as well, according to your book.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I was in and out of church a lot. We we talked a lot about God, you know, but we never let him come in and transform our lives.

SPEAKER_05

Big difference.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, a huge difference. But this time the Lord said, Um, I love you so much. We've been spending all this time together. And I've if you could imagine your heart or your soul having many rooms that need to be cleaned and furnished, not just cleaned, but furnished because it's not enough to clean it. You have to furnish it, you have to fill it up. So if you can imagine your your heart, your soul, and the Holy Spirit comes in, he cleans those rooms and he puts furniture in and he dwells in all those compartments, you know, all those rooms. And there's one room, he said, You won't let me in. So I allowed you to feel everything that you felt this past year when you cried yourself to sleep. I was there because I thought God had abandoned me. I felt like everybody was walking away from me. And he began to speak to me and I heard his voice and I felt his presence in the room with me.

SPEAKER_01

And I was like, Oh, there you are, where have you been? Like, I've missed you. I've been seeking you, and I've been, you know, talking to you, but I couldn't feel you.

SPEAKER_00

Where have you been? And he and then he just began to minister to me and say, I allowed you to feel this because I wanted to reveal what I wanted to heal. And the Lord began to tell me, your past is not your past until you're healed from it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then he began to reveal the areas. And the last place that he wanted to reveal was abandonment. All right. So I wrote the whole book to answer your question. I wrote the whole book before I named it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So there was a man named Rick Mandy's. He was an editor, he worked for George Georgia Southern University. He was a big voice in the community. Um, and I didn't know him very well, but he we met later on in his life, and um, he heard that I was writing a book. And he he came to my church and he heard me sing. So he wrote an article about me in the newspaper. And I didn't know that's what he was going to do, but he said there was one voice that stood out above them all, and it was her voice. And um, she would sing, and there were many voices that I could hear, but her voice stood out. And the Lord, when he wrote that article, the Lord spoke to me and said, There's many voices, but there's one voice that stands out, and I want it to be mine. I want you to point people toward my voice. Where in his article, he was pointing people toward my voice. But in this book, one voice is not so much my voice as it is the voice of God. It was one voice that stands out among all the other voices that we hear.

SPEAKER_05

That's beautiful. You know, you haven't in this book, I'm holding it right now, and I have the Spanish version, which I was delighting myself in reading it. Um, I was, for some reason, although I love reading in English, when I read in Spanish, it's a language that just speaks to me a little bit more. You were saying earlier to me before we started recording that it just carries a lot more richness within the words expression. It says La Poderosa historia de cómo Jesus salvó Isano del Abuso y el abandono a una niña, dando una voz and the powerful story of how Jesus saved and healed from abuse and abandonment, a little girl, giving her a voice and restoring her identity. Now, I tell you, there's many things that someone can think about when they think about one voice, because you're also an amazing, an amazing worship leader. And I'm telling you, it's not just your voice that's amazing, it's the way you lead and the way you host the presence of God. So, as someone that knows you, we can think immediately that. So I love even just knowing exactly what that stands and what that means as we're uh even speaking today.

Triggers Reveal Unhealed Wounds

SPEAKER_05

And talking about a voice, as someone that has experienced abuse, sexual abuse in this case, how can someone uh begin to recognize what happened to them does not define them?

SPEAKER_00

Right. You know, it's it's interesting. When I wrote this book, the me too movement came out. Right? I didn't even know what the me too movement meant.

SPEAKER_03

Tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I when everybody kept saying, oh, you're just doing this because of the me too movement, and I was like, uh, what's that? I don't even know what that is. I literally woke up one morning in January and God said, We're going there. We're gonna go to this place. The me to movement is all about me and my voice, right? What happened to me, and now I'm going to uncover what happened to me and expose the person that did it to me. And when I found when I began to investigate the me to movement, there was a lot of anger. If they felt angry and vindictive, right? I'm like, oh, I'm not a part of that. I'm not in, I'm not angry. I'm I'm not writing this book to get back at anybody. And the only way I found my voice was by hearing his voice, knowing his voice, and using my voice to express his voice, right, to say what he says, to do what he's doing. And that's how I found my identity is in this relationship I had with the Lord. And I submitted to the Lord. So what it means to be healed, to be free, really means to submit to the Lord. So to submit means to, you think of the word or submit and submarine, it means to come under the authority of, to come under the mission of. So sub sub means to come under, like a submarine goes under, but mission, sub-mission, come under the mission of. So what is the mission of God then? What is his mission for my life? And that's the the I think is the healthy way to view it is because now the creator who created me has a mission for me. And what does he want to do in me that brings glory to him? Yeah, that points all to the creator. That's what I mean. If you if you look at a painting, you can look at the painting and think, oh wow, what a beautiful painting. But it points to the artist. And that's the way I wanted people to look at my life. If they saw anything, I want to point to the artist. I want to point to the creator, the one who did it, right? So if there's a person out there listening and you're wondering how you can find your identity, identify your triggers because your triggers is what's going to reveal what's still wounded.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So if you're you're having these triggers, and a lot of times when you have been traumatized, in which I had been traumatized, and I had no counselor because back in the day there weren't many counselors. Nobody could afford them if you did have one. Insurance did not pay for it. And um, it was kind of looked down on to have one if you were in the church. It's still a little bit. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, you're right. So it's like, okay, well, um, I I didn't have anybody to talk to. So guess what I did? I internalized everything. Right. I didn't talk to anyone at all.

SPEAKER_05

Many people do.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, many people. They sweep it under the rug. I tried to talk about it at first when it first happened, and then people just looked at me like I was like uh an alien. Like, what that happened to you? Wow. I was like, yeah, this doesn't feel good. So I would I would tell the person that if you're you're dealing with um or struggling with your identity and trying to find out who you are, look at the triggers, what's happening? And what happened to me, the last trigger that I had was abandonment issues. I had deep abandonment issues because my mother, when I, when I told my mother what was happening to me, she um she first said to me, Well, this is your fault. There's something that you've done to make him do this to you. And then I went into foster care after all this happened, and my mom chose him over me. So those two things stuck with me that, well, if something goes wrong, it must be my fault. It's hard to accept that someone can love you when you have abandonment issues. You're always afraid they're gonna leave you.

SPEAKER_05

Right. So that was what probably you were scared of if you tell her something's gonna happen. And it actually did. It did.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I was right. Like I everything that I feared, it happened.

SPEAKER_05

It happened, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And but God had purpose along the way, Pastor Joe, because what happened was um, like even before I wrote the book, for one year I couldn't feel God. I couldn't hear his voice. And we had been like two peas in a pod. We had been best friends. Yeah, yeah. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, where are you?

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And then all of a sudden, my husband, it felt like not he didn't turn away from me, but when he would walk away in the middle of a conversation and his back would turn to me, I would feel this trigger, like he's gonna leave me. He's gonna walk away. You were hurt? I was hurt. I was always afraid he was gonna leave me.

SPEAKER_05

Is that what you were talking about when it comes to triggers? Yes. Like, because I'm thinking, what are some triggers that people could identify? They may not know what a trigger is, and that's a perfect example. Something rose up, you're almost thinking bad about your husband, and when in reality is something internally that has not healed yet.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, because my husband's a little OCD. So he gets distracted real easy if there's a mess or if there's something on the counter that's not supposed to belong there. So he is well known for if if something's out of place, he's gonna go over there and put it in its place because he believes everything has a place, right? That belongs in the trash. But if you're in the middle of a conversation and you're pouring your heart out and they turn around to go get a piece of trash and throw it in the trash, it made me feel wow, I'm not important, I'm not valued, I'm worthless. Uh, I mean, all of these feelings. And I didn't understand, like I had really not felt that way before. I mean, this was the first time I was really feeling that way.

SPEAKER_05

They were coming to the surface.

SPEAKER_00

They were coming to the surface because God, remember, he was peeling me back layer by layer. I actually experienced like deliverance many, many years ago from this sexual trauma.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I didn't think what my mom said, and by her choosing to stay with him affected me.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it was a different type of abuse.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it was, it was a it was painful because she gave birth to me. She was my mother.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And I loved her, I longed for her, I wanted her. And and then it affected me in a negative way with having friends that were women. Like, well, and I I remember saying, girls don't like me at first. They they really don't like being around me. And and then I had this check in my spirit, the Holy Spirit would say, Why are you saying that? Because your life follows what you say.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And if you believe it, then you're gonna, you're going to actually believe a lie. You cannot know if that person, you you don't know what they're thinking. Yeah, you don't know how they're feeling. But it was almost overnight, Pastor Joe, when I made up my mind that, you know what, I'm not gonna think that way anymore. I'm gonna say out loud, I'm a good friend. And girls do like me as you know what I mean, like a friendship.

SPEAKER_02

There's power in the tongue.

SPEAKER_00

That I can have a sisterhood, that I can be friends with other women, and that I'm worthy to be that.

SPEAKER_05

Right, which is so crazy because knowing you and like the women that actually look up to you and the way they speak about you, they it's like the enemy wanted to rob you from that.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh. Yes. It was it was crazy because I I really, but because of my thoughts and because of what the the lie I believed, it kept me from having friendships. Wow. But it also kept me from ministry. I was not able to minister uh to the capacity that the Lord wanted to use me in.

SPEAKER_05

You know, I I'm not a person that gets jealous of by own by all means from anyone's calling and anointing and ministry, but I've seen women that I could be talking to. You cannot walk in a room, and a woman will not turn immediately. They want to greet you, they want to say hello to you. And I look at you as my sister. My sister's name is also Janet, and and we have this brother-sister, you know, friendship in a way, in the way that we go about each other. I know how to make your coffee, you know what I mean? Absolutely. I love that. You are my brother, 100% for sure. So this, you know, it's like, but I can see immediately, like I even pause already with the expectation of, I know you want to go say hello to her. And that when I see that, I'm like, there's an anointing in that. I could recognize that this woman that's in front of me is anointed to pasture women in a different way than other women, because many women that have gone through affliction, abandonment, hurt, abuse, and so many other things can understand just the way you speak that you can pasture them, that you could call them from wherever they're at into a healing place because you know the word of God, but you also have the experience, the wisdom to be able to do that. So that's beautiful. Just from my end, you look looking into your calling, it's amazing. And now to even hear what the enemy was trying to rob you from, but also the people that you're called to minister to.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yes, it was it was everywhere because I felt rejected and abandoned, even walking into a room.

Silence Tests And Identity Rebuild

SPEAKER_00

And um I I didn't know how to deal with it. So literally for a year, I would just go home and just cry. But the morning I woke up and the Lord came back to me. And when I say, I I remember um hearing this in a sermon somewhere that um in the seasons that that God is speaking, he's always teaching.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, and when you hear his silence, it doesn't mean he left the room. It means that he's allowing you to take a test. Because when a teacher t is in a classroom and they're teaching, they use their voice. But when you take a test, the teacher becomes silent.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, that's so good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So, and for a year, my teacher became very silent.

SPEAKER_05

I just saw a vision of Jesus just walking around the room and just watching. He's close. He's just silent. Yes. He's looking over our paper and you're doing good. You learn your lesson.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Or, you know. Yes. Let me give you more time to think about that. I had a good teacher that would actually be like, you should look over this paper again. I don't know if you ever had a teacher like that. Thank God for that. Look over this paper again. They're not telling you the answer. They're just just take a look. Yeah. Yeah, don't rush.

SPEAKER_00

Don't rush. That's what a good teacher will do, though.

SPEAKER_05

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Don't rush through this.

SPEAKER_05

They want the best out of you. They don't want to prove you wrong. They're for you, not against you.

SPEAKER_00

And so, like if God came to me and he was speaking to me and said, Hey, I want to heal you of abandonment. I want him like, I don't need healing from that God. I don't feel abandoned.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But he allowed me to let something surface by this test I was going through. And so many times, I'm telling you, this has just been through the years, layers and layers and layers, how God healed me. And so after hearing his voice and for the first time, and he said, Hey, I want you to get up. I want you to write this book. I would feel his voice, you know, where the word says, I heard a voice behind me saying, This is the way, walk in it. I literally would feel his voice behind me and the very breath of God breathing down my neck and healing me with every word that I wrote. And the Lord would say to me, You are going to minister to so many women that go through this. I'm going to use your life. I'm going to use your story for my glory. This is why I allowed that year-long test. This is why many, many years ago, I spoke to you and said, You know, don't keep women out of your life. Don't think that about them. Stop saying women don't like you. Stop saying that you're not a good friend to girls. Stop all that because that's going to become your platform. They, and the Lord put a love in my heart. You know, when you've been abandoned by your mom and as a as a daughter, a mother-daughter relationship is very, very special. Very special. And when you feel abandoned by her, you feel like, oh, well, she doesn't love me. I must be worthless. I must not be everything that she wanted me to be. She chose him over me. I had so many fill-in the blanks that the enemy loved fill-in-the-blank test because when there was a silence or when I thought something, he would fill that blank in with a lie, you know. But it was the word of God that combated every lie. And layer by layer, the Lord just began to heal me.

SPEAKER_05

What was the biggest lie that you had to stop believing?

SPEAKER_00

Uh, that I'm worthless. That was the biggest one because it's still like um that voice still rings out to me a lot that you're not valued, and I have to shut the door to it all the time. Or actually, the door is shut, I just don't answer it.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

So it's like before the door was open, I entertained it. I let it come in, rock me to sleep at night. Wow. I let it just, you know, torture me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I felt comfortable in that vice. You know, it was a comfortable prison where it was familiar. Yeah. And that's where familiar spirits get involved, right? When the Lord allowed me to go through that that year, then he began to equip me with tools to fight the enemy. And the Lord told me that the battle never stops. There's always a battle.

SPEAKER_03

Come on.

SPEAKER_00

Right? And you you may win this battle and you're gonna get through this battle, but there's always more. The war is over, but battles are something that we're gonna go through, but knowing that in the war, we're gonna win the war. When that lie continues to knock on my door, yeah, when a circumstance seems to line up with it, but since the war is won, right, I get the truth from the word that brings that up, and it absolutely demolishes the lie of the enemy.

SPEAKER_05

So just to paint a picture, it's basically to strengthen your identity in Christ that allows you to be able to ignore those knocks or even come against them before they even knock sometimes.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I'll I'll say things like, you know, I recognize you, Satan. Come on now. I recognize that knock. I've been there before and I've answered the door, and I refuse to answer the door now. You're a liar, and then I begin to speak the truth over myself.

SPEAKER_05

So you have an alarm system. I do. Spiritual alarm system.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_05

Come on now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's right. That's exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_05

Many survivors carry shame that belongs to someone else. What helped you separate your identity from the abuse that you endured?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, wow. That's that's a really good question. What helped me separate shame? I think I go back to the word and the presence of God. So um I was I was fortunate to be in a church where the presence of God just freely moved. And um, I remember in the altar services after the sermon was preached, we would have two to three hours in the altar. Yeah. And that's where everybody experienced deliverance.

SPEAKER_05

Let's go.

SPEAKER_00

And that is where the women in the church would come up behind me and speak over me.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And they didn't even know what they were saying, but they were the voice of the Lord speaking over me.

SPEAKER_05

Wow, community.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the the community and having people like for for example, the the trauma from the physical sexual abuse and the shame that was attached to that, the Lord healed that early on. But the shame of not being a good daughter, that being worthless, that my mom doesn't love me, you know, that lingered on for a really long time. And to this day, the Lord will use a mother figure to hug me when I feel that way again. Wow. It's just the craziest thing.

SPEAKER_05

He's so intentional how he works.

SPEAKER_00

Well, he's so intentional. Like, like, let's just say, for example, I'm really missing the embrace of a mother. I wished I had a mother figure. I wish that I had a mom. I wish I had someone I could talk to. Um, I wish my mom was still alive. I wish I would have had more time with her. And then I start feeling like, man, it's it's just so unfortunate for me. I start feeling sorry for myself. But the enemy just, he just takes those things and he just runs with them and just keeps running with them. And then there would be an older lady in the church that would come and say, Baby, I love you so much and pull me in and caress me like a mother would a daughter.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Use uh very, you know, terms of endearment like baby, sugar, I love you, honey, you know, those type things that were sweet and would pull me in. And um just uh just the other day, like I was battling something, and that that knock occurred again. Like, gosh, I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I had just a mom, you know. And then I was like, oh, I recognize that. It's so like frustrating how the enemy just doesn't stop in that one area. He just keeps knocking. And I'm like, whatever. I recognize you, devil. I'm not gonna give in to that. Whatever. Jesus is enough for me. He is my everything. His grace is enough. I will not give in to that. I begin to speak it out loud. Then all of a sudden, Pastor Pam met me around the corner. She stopped me and hugged me for like five minutes. She, that hug, I felt like was a hug from heaven. Come on now. I just sit there and melted in her arms. And I was like, why am I crying?

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00

Because God just hugged you and He used her to do it.

SPEAKER_05

Her discernment is spot on.

SPEAKER_00

Like, and she wouldn't let me go.

SPEAKER_05

Spot on, spot on, and not just for one person. Simultaneously, the Holy Spirit uses her to think about many people. She's known as mom for a reason. She is. She is literally mom. What a gift to have in the body of Christ. Even thinking about how the enemy robs the church from functioning because of how well God could use the church to restore different people. So that's a beautiful thing. Give us one more thing, practical thing that you do because maybe some people are not around the right people. What's one thing that maybe you did in your private life, in your private time to be able to even separate that shame or any type of condemnation that the enemy might try to bring your way?

Learning To Receive God's Love

SPEAKER_00

Well, when you have been abused, you learn to be a good giver, but you're not a good receiver. Because everything that you have received has hurt you.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

So you build this wall and you don't receive well.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Right?

SPEAKER_05

That's a revelation.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I was used to giving, giving, giving a lot, but I wasn't used to receiving. And then the Lord spoke to me one day and said that my love cast away all shame. And there was there was a saying, especially when I was a teenager, of shame on you. Like if you didn't read your Bible, shame on you. And then I heard the Lord say, Shame off you, shame off you. Don't ever say that again. Don't ever verbalize it. Don't receive it. It's shame off you.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

So I learned what I could receive and what I didn't need to receive.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It was easy to receive stuff that hurt me, but if it was going to be good for me, I didn't know how to receive it.

SPEAKER_05

You didn't feel worth it.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't feel worth it. And then God took me on, Pastor Joe, a 15-year journey of love. Love. I'm telling you, the love of God wiped away all shame.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

It wasn't nothing I did. There was nothing I could do to get rid of it because I had tried everything. But literally spending time with God, inviting him, and learning more about him through his word and through worship. Worship was a big deal to me. But the love of God, it messed me up.

SPEAKER_05

So you were able to learn how to receive from being in God's presence.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. The Lord spoke to me first and he said, Who loved first, the mom or the daughter? Who loves first? You've been trying to love me before you have received my love.

SPEAKER_05

Right. Like learn from me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Oof. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good. And you were also talking about triggers earlier. This is a trigger. You don't know how to receive. Yes. I could so relate to that.

SPEAKER_00

Let me do for you, God. I come in, I felt your presence. I felt your love. So let me start doing. Let me serve. Let me worship. Let me give me whatever my gifts are. Let me do, let me do this, let me do this, let me do this.

SPEAKER_05

And and let's sit on that for a moment. It's for approval. We wanting to be approved. Yes. So we're performing for the approval because we don't feel the worthiness. It's it's crazy how it works.

SPEAKER_00

Because if something bad happens, like I thought, well, it's my fault. My mom told me it was my fault. So if something bad does happen, let me do something to make it better. Let me try to fix it. Let me try. And do not do anything to rock the boat. Wow. Don't do anything. Don't don't bring up anything that bothers you. Don't bring up anything that you, if you want to have a hard conversation with someone, don't bring it up because it's just going to rock the boat. It's going to point all to you that it's all your fault.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00

You know? So when the Lord said, who loves first? The baby or the mother? And I thought to myself, well, when I had my children, who loved first, you or the child. I'm like, I did. The child did not have the capacity to love me. The child had the capacity to know me.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But not the capacity to express love to me. Right. You know what the baby did? Received. Received. So good. Trusted.

SPEAKER_05

So good.

SPEAKER_00

So the baby learned to trust me by being with me.

SPEAKER_05

Is this why kind of like Jesus says, let the children come to me? Yeah. And that we have to be like children to inherit the kingdom of heaven?

SPEAKER_00

I think so. But why does he say like childlike faith?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, your adult faith, no, come to me like a child. Come with me with purity, with innocence.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good. So, what does freedom look like after trauma?

Freedom In Spirit Soul Body

SPEAKER_05

And has your definition changed over the years?

SPEAKER_00

Trauma can actually affect your spirit, your soul, and your body. Right. Like in all three areas. So freedom has to be experienced in all three areas. Come on. So you can you can have freedom in the spirit, but yet your soul is still responding to trauma.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. So I love talking to you. I have an episode called Spirit, Soul and Body because of this reason. So this is life after freedom. We could be free in the spirit, but you're saying that our soul could still be bound.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and even physically also, because like your physical body, like with your smells, or like for example, when I say physical, I would see someone that looked like my stepfather, and I would have a trigger and go, I don't want to be around that person. Wow. Right. Or I would smell alcohol because my stepfather was an alcoholic. And I could smell it. And immediately the triggers would be senses.

SPEAKER_05

And that's your that's your soul. Because we're talking about the soul, it is the mind, the will, and the emotions. So immediately your emotions, your mind, you know, you're you're you're you're reacting. It's probably reminding you then in your body of something. And yet you're free.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

It's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. So in my spirit, I'm free. But you know, again, it goes back to the word. The word says that there's always going to be a battle between the flesh and the spirit. Right. Right? Because our we're not glorified yet. Our bodies are not glorified. That's the reason we have to crucify our flesh every day. When we when we wake up in the morning, we wake up with our flesh. And that's when you go into the presence of God. That's why I like to be with the Lord first thing in the morning. So I can start my prayer and get filled up with his word, his presence. And it gives me the tools and the weapon to fight.

SPEAKER_05

So Jesus set you free. And now you have your soul that needs attending to so that your body can react the right way. And you're going into the presence of God with His Word, which the Word says is the renewing of our mind, right? Which is the renewing of our soul as well. Because now your mind, listening to what God says about you, is changing the way you feel, therefore, the way you act in your body. How important is that? So through the years, has that definition of freedom changed for you?

SPEAKER_00

Um it has not changed the definition of freedom, but I can say this that the enemy doesn't play fair. And he's going to push it every time. Right? Even Paul said, God, I beg you, take this thorn out of my flesh. You know, why are you letting me go through this? You know, and then three times the Lord said to him, My grace is enough for you. My grace is enough for you. My grace is enough for you. And um, I think that people think. Freedom is a feeling.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, like if I feel free, they think, oh, well, I don't have a thorn in my flesh. That's not what freedom is. Right. Freedom means I have received the full gospel of Jesus and He has set me free. Now I get to walk in it daily.

SPEAKER_05

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

It's a daily thing. It's a decision I make every day that I choose not to believe a lie of whatever the enemy is saying. And I get to believe the truth of what God says about me.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good because so many people believe and go by their emotions and what they're feeling. And reality is that we have been called to freedom. Yes. And that, even from Paul, as he's speaking, and you're speaking about Paul, great person, book of Philippians, he's writing it from jail. And yet this is a man that's joyous. He is free to even counsel others to write a book that we find completely helpful in our time of need. Because I was during COVID times, I was reading the book of Philippians and thinking, Lord, how the how did this man do it? Yes. Because we we felt in a prison.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And many people that are listening, they could be feeling enslaved. They're bound maybe physically, mentally, emotionally, in many ways, but they can experience freedom when they come to Jesus, when they have an encounter with Jesus. Even if their circumstances around don't necessarily change, but God changes something in us.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And then it allows us to see ourselves the way that He sees us, which is freeing, right? Who whomever the Son sets free is free indeed from whatever circumstance. Yeah. But now our bodies are not tied to that anymore. I wanted to even ask you, because talking about emotions, there's one thing that many people base emotions on, but I know it took a, it had to take a big role in your life for you to be set free and it's forgiveness.

Forgiveness That Releases The Pain

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

With forgiveness. Yes. How did that help you in your freedom journey?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Wow. Forgiveness is so powerful. Forgiveness is something you always have to do too, because there's always going to be someone that hurt you.

SPEAKER_05

Right.

SPEAKER_00

No matter who it is.

SPEAKER_05

Or triggers it.

SPEAKER_00

Or triggers it. Yes. So there's going to be people in your life that are going to do you wrong, that are going to compromise your beliefs. And they might walk away from you, right? But it doesn't mean that you're less valuable. And it doesn't make right what they did. But what forgiveness does is it releases you from the pain that's attached to that. So a lot of times we release the person, but we don't release the pain that's attached to it. Can you say that again? A lot of times we release the person, but we don't release the pain that's attached to it.

SPEAKER_05

Somebody just got set free from that.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. That's the biggest deal. That is what uh has impacted me the most. So I forgave my mom a long time ago, right? But I never released the pain that came from that. And then when my stepfather died, my mom called me because what happened is she didn't believe me when I told her. And when he died, I think I had about maybe 15 cousins that came and sat down at her table and said, This is the wicked man that you were married to. After my name was JJ back then, they used to call me JJ. He did this to her. She left, and then he did it to all of us. And my mama called me and she was weeping and crying, saying, Will you please forgive me?

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And in that moment, I was like, Mom, I forgave you a long time ago, and which I did.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I I released her, but I never released the pain from it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The moment I released the pain was after my mom had died. And I was pregnant with my third baby. My mom died.

SPEAKER_05

How long after that moment that you're that she asked for forgiveness? How long are we talking about?

SPEAKER_00

Eight years.

SPEAKER_05

Eight years later.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Eight years later. Incredible. Because when she was with me, I started having this relationship with her. Right. And I was like, oh, I've forgiven her. I've forgiven her. So nothing was really being triggered because her presence was with me. But when she died eight years later, all the triggers, just everything began to surface. Everything. And I realized that I still had pain from that. And that happened through counselors and deliverance.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I went to a place called Healing Streams in Savannah, Georgia. And he and his wife began to show me that you forgave and you released her, but you never released the pain. And you believed a lie, and you received this pain, but you've never received your mother's love. So let me take you back. Your mother loves you. Your mother really released you to your destiny, and you thought she abandoned you. The real story is let me show you, and this person began to prophesy over me. Like Moses' mom had to release him so he could do the work of the Lord. So your mom released you. Oh wow. She loved you and she grieved over you to the day she died. And that set me free.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

That set me free immediately. That I was like, she released me. I believed the lie. She abandoned me. She didn't love me. I'm worthless. I'm not a good daughter. I'm not a good person. And I went through life believing that. And then I combated the lie through a prophetic word that was spoken over me in the middle of inner healing, that they had a word of knowledge for me. Your mother didn't abandon you. She released you. Remember what happened to Joseph?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That wasn't the work of the brothers. That was the work of God to release him so that his dream could come to pass.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And through the journey, through every step of the way, he felt rejection. He felt abandonment. He was abused. He was betrayed. He was accused. He was in prison. And then he went from prison to the palace. All of that happened for a purpose. So my healing in the truth, where I could really release that pain and forgive was to first combat the lie that she didn't abandon me. She released me. And she loved me. And so I remember in the in the inner healing, he said, give all of this pain to the Lord and go to the throne room and imagine it. If it was all bottled up, or if it was wrapped up in a gift. Exactly. Exactly. So I was able to release the pain of that. You know, when Jesus hung on the cross, he said, forgive them, for they know not what they do. A lot of times, I don't think my mom understood what she was saying and what was happening. But at the same time, God was in control. He was sovereign. He used everything that the enemy meant for harm. And he worked it all out for my good. And in the end, I'm set free through forgiveness, not just releasing my mom, but the pain that was associated. And when I started to write my book, it was like no longer will I let the pain of my past dictate the promise of my future.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good. Joseph stood in front of his brothers, and he had everyone leave his presence and he wept. He did. It says that everyone could hear his voice. Yes. He came to a moment of strong emotions and yet he did the right thing. He said, I am your brother. Like he could have told them this moment right here. I told you years ago when you didn't listen to me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

You could have accused your mother. I told you so. But you chose forgiveness. Joseph chose forgiveness at that very moment. Isn't it crazy how God allows us to get to a place in a moment we're receiving this revelation of what's really happening? Many people choose not to forgive. Many leaders even get into that position of Joseph, and then they choose to do the same thing that was done to them. Attack. Yeah. And Joseph was like, wait a minute. He could have had them killed, by the way. He could have had all his brothers. They would have never even known. Or he could have said, Hey, this is who I am, but you're gonna pay for this. But he didn't. He forgave them and he took them under. So you all of a sudden took your mom into a friendship to restore her. Because she was also a victim.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, she was. She was. And the thing is, like, I remember I'll never forget the first time I read the story of Joseph. My husband walked in, he said, What is wrong with you? You were weeping and crying.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm like, I just read the story of Joseph. He's like, Oh, yeah, that's good, right? I'm like, no, it's me. It's me. This is my life.

SPEAKER_00

And he was like, Yeah, it is, because he was the only person that knew about my life, right? But here's the here's the key to this. Joseph wept out loud because he remembered the pain, the feeling of just the pain of the journey. But he associated it with in order for all of this to come to pass and you all to be saved, it had to happen like this. Come close to me.

SPEAKER_05

A reflection of Jesus. He bears our weight.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

He carries our pain. Like you said, we give it to him. He's like, I'm gonna go through all of this, but he gave himself up. They didn't kill him, he surrendered. He gave himself willingly to die for us so that whoever's in slavery that's listening to this in whichever way could live a life of freedom. That's right. And we don't have to live this way. We don't have to live the way that the enemy says, like we don't have to even in many ways listen to the lies of the enemy that for so many years we believed, and and we've even partnered with the enemy to repeat, because many of us repeat consistently what the enemy has said to us, and we enslave ourselves again and again and again. And here comes Jesus and speaks one word, chains fall out, mindsets fall out, lies of the enemy fall out immediately, and we get to live a life of freedom that many, many desire but don't go after when it's available, available to them. And I'm so glad that your story is like a redemptive story.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

That he purchased you, you know, he bought you with the price. He he took you, he restored you. You have obviously a beautiful marriage. Uh, Carrie, shout-outs to Carrie, your husband. What an amazing man of God. And and and your sons that that are wonderful men of God as well. And just to be able to see not just your ministry in the church, but your ministry in your home. It's a reflection of the restoration of the love. You know, and so that's beautiful as well. And I know that that's a mirror of his goodness to many people.

SPEAKER_00

It is. I just sometimes I just sit in my house and I go, God, I can't believe you did all this for me. I was raised in the trailer park housing projects. And now I'm in this beautiful home. I got a baby grand piano sitting right here. You did all this. You gave me a husband that loved me. You gave me my boys that I adore them. They're such a gift. You gave me two beautiful daughter-in-laws. I got one on the way. I don't know where she's at. I call her from the north, southeast, and west. I know she's on the way. I pray for her every day.

SPEAKER_03

There you go.

SPEAKER_00

And I got a grandbaby and all these beautiful things that you have done for me. Wow, you have redeemed my life. You have, if you never do another thing for me again, I'm good. I'm good. You have done it all.

Bring Secrets Into The Light

SPEAKER_05

Pastor Janet, what will you tell someone that's listening that has never told someone their story of abuse?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I have always said what's kept in the dark invites darkness. So you can't help what happened to you. And it's not something you want to like vomit on people, you know, but it is something that you can share with people, and that you can. And I'm gonna tell you the difference between the two. The me too movement of anger and this is I'm a victim, and they did this like retaliation in retaliation. That's more of vomiting and telling people what happened to you, and you're you're angry about it because they did this to me. I'm the person I am today, right? But if you turn it and you say the word says, confess all of your sins and even the sins done to you so that you may be healed.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Confess them, find a counselor, find somebody that you can talk to, a friend, your spouse, whoever it is. And if you're having triggers and you have you've been traumatized, you need to talk to somebody. Find a pastor, find somebody. There, there is somebody that can help you and just sit down and listen. Not everybody has answers for you, but you need to get it out. And when you bring it to the light, whatever your struggles are, whatever your triggers are, when you bring it to the light, freedom is waiting right there. Freedom is in the light, it's not in the dark.

SPEAKER_05

That's so good. That's so good. We talked about forgiveness, but I want to talk about what forgiveness is not. And forgiveness is not saying that the person that abused you did something right. Right. That by you forgiving them, you're releasing them of what they have done. We're releasing them for God to be their judge because we're not God. Right. So, how important is that as well to even know the difference between that as we're choosing to forgive? What helps someone forgive?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, forgiveness is not giving them permission to do it again, even.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

Like uh, you think if I'm forgiving them, I have to go back to an abusive husband. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_05

It doesn't mean reconciliation.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it doesn't mean reconciliation. I'm not going to reconcile with an abuser.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And um when when I verbalize, I was only 12 when I spoke out. Had to be the power of God on me to speak it out. But I didn't want to go back to that.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Because I knew it was going to get worse. And I knew I was, I was going to die because I was about to kill myself, but I had a God encounter. Before I was about to take my own life. But I had a God encounter, and God said, tell somebody, tell somebody what you're going through. And I picked up the phone, I called the police, thinking they were going to take the bad guy to jail, but they took me away instead, right?

SPEAKER_05

And you ended up in foster care.

SPEAKER_00

And I ended up in foster care, not just one, but several, because I kept running away from them. I was so confused. I was so hurt. I was so broken. And then I thought, well, I guess I just need to go back to this home, you know? And then there's the beautiful thing. My daddy heard what happened. And he came, he had been fighting for me in court for like six months, and I didn't even know he was fighting to get custody of me.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Right? So meanwhile, my father was fighting to get custody of me. And everything that I went through, there was another way out, but it wasn't going back. So forgiveness was looking at the future through the lens of hope and freedom, and not the lens of, well, I have no choice. I have to go back. They provided for me. They did this. They could put a roof over my head. And I had to lose all of that to gain what was on the other side.

SPEAKER_05

So good. So good because sometimes that barrier, it really stands for fear.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And we see that played out even in the with the Israelites when they came out of the slavery from Egypt. There's a there's honey in.

SPEAKER_00

We were better off back there. Like they really wanted to go back because of, you know, this journey that we're on, that like is to me, milk and honey is the presence, it symbolizes the presence of God in our life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right? And the promises that we walk in is his presence, right? His the knowing of his nearness, right? But when we go through something and we experience warfare, we experience giants in the land, or we experience a Red Sea that's in front of us. Our tendency is we were better off in prison.

SPEAKER_01

We were better off abandoned ship, abandoned ship. You know, we don't have any food. We made it through the Red Sea, and we're over here in this wilderness and we're hungry. We were better off in Egypt where we were, that was where I was.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe I was better off. At least I I knew people now. I don't know anybody. I'm home. I'm in foster care. All these people have been abused, and the things that were happening all around me were, you know, bad.

SPEAKER_05

Isn't it crazy how many people right now are probably thinking that I can't leave where I'm at? Aside from telling your pastor, what's one step that they can do to move forward and be bold?

Practical Steps Toward Safety

SPEAKER_00

I think when you're in an abusive situation and it's family, you're attached to family. Like this is what you've known. And sometimes you think this is normal because if you uh you are abused as a child, a lot of women and men go back into abusive relationships because everything has been very familiar.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, familiar is the word.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Um, but when I got saved, so there's there's a difference when you are saved and you you know what the word has done. You know what the word says, you know the sacrifice that Jesus has made for you, and he said that you could be free. It's so important to have a church home, a healthy church home, a community of people that love you and believe in you and support you. And guess what? It is achievable. It is not a perfect church, but we are the body of Christ. And if you feel the presence of God in your church, I promise you the Lord is there, and you can find people that are full of compassion that can help you through the next step. The thing is, we don't leave where we're at because we don't know how to get to the next step. And God sends people along our way to help us, to show us what the next step is.

SPEAKER_05

So that's really good.

SPEAKER_00

If you're an adult, and let's just say you're in an abusive marriage, you don't know how to get out of it. This man says he's going to kill you if you tell anybody. So what I would do, if if you are in this situation and you're saved, you're involved in the body of Christ, then you find somebody in the body of Christ that can help you. You go to your pastor. Maybe your pastor knows someone in the community that has a home for sheltered women that will take you in and take care of you and your children. Those are steps that you can take out of abuse, right? But you cannot do it alone.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Life is not meant for you to do alone, ever.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And the one thing that the enemy wants you to do, even in hurt, pain, and abuse, is to be secluded. You are not an island. It was never meant for you to do this all by yourself. But you're afraid. Well, what if they hurt me? Well, that's fear, that's a spirit. But what if they don't? Combat that with the opposite. What if they take me in? What if they love me? Or you could say this even if they abandon me, God will not. Even if something bad happens, God's going to use something for my good. And you gotta keep speaking it out.

SPEAKER_05

Amen. You know, it's crazy. All of these things, they have a correlation, isolation.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And and you tackled it with speaking about the church. God created the church for that purpose because the enemy will make us his victims, will enslave us through isolation. So anyone that's isolated is at risk. Yeah. Your first step is find community, find a life-giving church that believes, and I always say in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, you know, specially that is that is filled with the Word of God, that has people that could come around you, like you said, whisper into your ear, speak life, people that will be able to hear you and not judge you, people that will be able to receive you and invite you into their home and into their safety, even just for you to see things differently. And even as you're a mirror to many women right now, when they look into your life, and not that we're we're saying that we're perfect, but Paul did say, be imitators of me as I am of Jesus, meaning we are a reflection of what Jesus can do in someone's life. And that's the power of our testimony. And so, Pastor Janet, thank you so much for sharing your testimony, sharing the word of God. I want you to pray for the ladies and anyone that's bound by fear, slavery of any kind, mentally, physically, emotionally, anyone that has experienced abuse and abandonment and they want to be set free.

Prayer For Shame To Break

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Before I pray, I just want to end with this that when I first wrote my book, it never dawned on me that men got abused. Never, not one time. And my office flooded after I wrote my book with men who had more men than there were women.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00

Because they keep it silent because it's more shameful.

SPEAKER_05

Exactly. Right? Which is the way that the enemy keeps you bound and isolated.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And he he keeps these secrets. And even on my podcast, one voice makes a difference. The men that came out and were on my podcast, and when when these things happened to them, they were so ashamed that they never told anybody. They carried around hurt their whole life. You know? And um, I want to speak to into that person, and whoever is listening right now, whether you're a man or you're a woman, but especially if you are a man and you have bottled this up and you have stuffed it down. I want to speak into your life and say the Lord loves you, and there is no more shame. And he will unravel you because he loves you, he will you peel you back layer by layer because he loves you, he will get to that room in your heart that you have shut the door to, that cobwebs, the cobwebs have grown in there. He will unlock that door, and he will get to you, he will rescue you. And I want to say to you, there is no more shame. None. None whatsoever. So, Father, we come to you in the mighty name of Jesus. Lord, your word says we can come boldly to your throne. And Lord, I just want to bring your sons and your daughters to you, and I give them to you, and I ask you, Holy Spirit, whoever is listening to this and they're feeling so much shame, they have so many secrets, so much hurt, so much pent-up anger. I'm asking you, Father, to unravel them, peel them back gently, layer by layer, and heal them from the inside out. Lord, your word says that you have come to set the captives free. You have come to break the curse of bondage. You have come to turn our mourning into dancing. Lord, your word says that you have come to bring us beauty for the ashes of our lives. Everything that the enemy has meant for harm, God, something beautiful can come out of it. That's who you are. I don't know how you do it, but you do. You always turn what the enemy meant for evil and you make something beautiful out of it. You always take the ashes, the pain, the trauma of our life and the things that happen to us, and you make something beautiful for us. So, Lord, I praise you for the miracle you're starting right now in somebody's heart. I praise you for the deliverance that you are starting right now in somebody's soul. I thank you for the freedom that someone is experiencing right now in their mind. It's like there's been a clamp on your mind, like a vice, and you have not been able to be free from it. But right now, in the mighty name of Jesus, that vice is removed and no longer will it hold you captive. You're there's someone that's listening right now that your mind has been foggy. There's just been, you can't think straight, you can't even make plans because you feel this vice, this grip, and it's of the enemy. But right now, I speak freedom over your mind that you will begin to think clearly, you will be able to function with a clear mind and a sound mind. And I declare in the in the mighty name of Jesus that the spirit of fear has to leave right now. And Lord, your word says that that fear is cast out by the perfect love of God. Come on. And may the love of God rain. I see rain coming down right now, like a mist, a fine mist of the love of God saturating you till you are completely immersed in the powerful love of God. That you find your identity in the love of God. You find your freedom in the love of God. You find the will of God in the love of God. You forgot, you find forgiveness in the love of God. Everything is being washed away, healing by the love of God, healing in your mind, your soul, and your body. And I ask this in the powerful name of Jesus, Holy Spirit, seal it, that no devil in hell will be able to steal it away in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

SPEAKER_05

And I just even speak to anyone that's wanting restoration from anyone that's had harmed them and wants to restore that relationship, just like even Pastor Janet was able to restore her relationship with her mom. Um, it is possible to reconcile with someone and their steps to take. So we just ask Holy Spirit right now that you restore relationships that need to be restored. Not from abusers, but Lord, from people that love each other, that have been hurt, that the enemy has lied to them, that the enemy has isolated them from the people that they love, Lord. Or right now, I speak healing over that, Lord, the steps to take into healing, Lord, the opportunity to reconcile in a way where there is such power and that unity, Lord, that you will get the honor and you will get the glory. And so we pray right now into that, Lord, bring revelation, bring understanding. And as we were, as even Pastor Janet was speaking, just that perfect love that cast out all fear over them, Lord, that they may feel your love, carrying them through. And Psalm 23, a beautiful Psalm that says that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil because you are with us. Yes. Lord, we thank you for your love. We thank you for your grace, that goodness and mercy will continue to follow us all the days of our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Book Links And Final Follow

SPEAKER_00

Amen.

SPEAKER_05

Pastor Janet, where can they find this book?

SPEAKER_00

You can go to my website, um, janet swanson.org, or you can go to Amazon and get the Audible. I love the Audible. I love Audible, but I love having like the physical copy too.

SPEAKER_05

Pastor Janet, thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_00

It's been an honor to be here with you today. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_05

We had church. We did. Thank you so much. Until the next episode, a have a blessed one. Here we go. Hey, do me a favor, hit that follow button so that you can stay connected with the latest episodes.