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Super Sex
Supersex was a podcast exploring sexuality, relationships, and sex education that ran from July 2024 to December 2025.
The show was created during an earlier stage of my professional journey as I developed my work as a sexologist, educator, and communicator. Through conversations with guests and discussions on a wide range of topics, Supersex aimed to make sexuality education more accessible, practical, and relevant to everyday life.
As my work has evolved, so too has the focus of the conversations I want to have.
In 2026, Supersex will be re-launched as The Jordan Walker Show.
The new show will explore relationships, sexuality, human behaviour, education, masculinity, digital culture, and the challenges facing young people and adults in the modern world. Drawing on research, professional experience, and conversations with leading experts, the show will focus on helping listeners better understand themselves, their relationships, and the people around them.
Thank you to everyone who listened, supported, appeared on, and contributed to Supersex.
This isn't the end of the conversation.
It's the next chapter.
Jordan
Super Sex
The Journey to Better Sex: Communication, Confidence, and Inclusivity
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Ever wondered if sex toys could totally transform your love life? 🤔 Join us on this eye-opening episode of Supersex as we dive into listener feedback that’s got us thinking hard about sexual communication and relationships. We’re kicking off a two-part listener question series, starting with the top five things we wish we’d known about sex when we were starting out. Spoiler: there’s a lot more to it than just the basics!
We’ll be busting myths about sex toys—yes, even those misconceptions you might hear from straight guys—and showing how they can seriously level up everyone’s sexual experiences.
But wait, there’s more! We’re also diving into LGBTQ+ sex education, expanding our view of sex beyond just penetration. We’ll explore everything from oral sex to the roles of tops and bottoms in gay relationships. The goal? To make intimacy less intimidating and more inclusive.
And, we’re not stopping there. We’ll chat about sexual confidence and health, including the power of clear communication in relationships and the importance of respecting each other’s preferences. We’ll also touch on why PrEP is relevant for everyone. It’s all about making sex a mutual, enjoyable experience rather than just a checklist. Tune in for personal stories, helpful tips, and a whole lot of fun!
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Sexuality and Sex Perspective Podcast
Speaker 1Hey to all the straights , gays and nays , welcome to Supersex , the podcast where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality , sex and more .
Speaker 2I'm Sheldon and I'm Jordan , two friends , one straight , one gay , taking on all things sex .
Speaker 1One straight one , gay , taking on all things . Sex user . I'm good man , I'm good . So before we get in , today's episode .
Speaker 2I got some really cool feedback from a few people . Uh , last few days you did , yeah , um , it's , I mean of course you did uh , of course .
Speaker 1Of course , because nobody would talk shit about this show ? Of course not no go on , uh yeah , but I've got several messages now that have come through where people have just been saying hey , thanks so much for putting this out there . I've been listening to it with my partner . We've been talking a bit more , things have been getting a little bit spicier . That's awesome . So we're doing some good stuff .
Speaker 2It's actually working . To be fair , I've also had some really good feedback . I had a few . My cousin messaged me and goes oh , I bet you would never have done this five or six years ago , fear of people judging you . You know you've come very far . I'm like absolutely I don't give a shit . No more At my age . Who gives a shit ? So yeah , I'm happy that we're doing something good here . People are learning .
Speaker 1People are learning , for sure . I even talked to my mum this mom this morning and said hey , why don't you go and listen to the uh sexual communication episode ? Oh , you know god , okay .
Speaker 2So look like I said , like we've spoken before my parents you ain't pushing it out there I'm not . Look , we're never telling my parents the friends are enjoying it . Um yeah , we'll keep it there .
Speaker 1We'll keep it there , alright . So , talking about keeping it there , today's episode this is coming from a listener question oh god , I'm scared already , and the question was a two-parter . So what we're going to do is it's too big to sort . Of challenge in one episode Jordan , it's never too big . This one is I'm not prepared for it . Of challenge in one episode , jordan , it's never too big . This one is I'm not prepared for it .
Speaker 1So what we're going to do is we're going to break it down into a two-part . Let's call it listener question series . Okay , cool , all right , sounds good . So the first part is from first time sex to now what are some things that you wish you knew back then ? I like it . So that's what we're going to tackle today , and then in next week's episode we're going to go sex and relationships , the do's and don'ts . Okay , sound good , sounds great to me . All right , I'm going to say why don't we pick out our top five things that we think that you wish you knew back before you started having sex or when you were having sex earlier ? Okay , we'll go our top five . We'll start from the bottom , we'll work up to our most important one .
Speaker 2Yeah , we always . Oh , so what you're trying to say ? Bottoms are not important and tops are the most important . That's .
Speaker 1Why do the gay ?
Speaker 2people always do that . Oh , the gay people . Now I see what's going on here . Listen here .
Speaker 1In fact , it's not even gay people , it's you . You are the problem .
Speaker 2It's fine , we'll start with the bottom .
Speaker 1I think it's nice to start with the bottom .
Speaker 2You know it's always good to start with the bottom , but you know putting it at the top is most important . That's okay , but I do suppose you know without I've just walked into some shit here .
Speaker 1You 100% .
Speaker 2Forget getting cancelled . You got me to deal with .
Speaker 1I'm in trouble .
Speaker 2Let's go with . Let's start with yours . Go on . What's your number five ?
Speaker 1So my number five is sex toys . They're not a threat , they're a tool , literally they're not a threat , they're a tool . Literally , they're a tool . Literally , they are a tool . I think growing up as a cisgender hetero guy , you've always got this sort of idea in your head , that if a girl is having to use sex toys it's because you're not good enough , or the or the connotation that she's a slut or the connotation that she's a slut and she just can't get enough .
Speaker 1So you know , you've constantly got this negativity in your head . Yes , but that's not real . I've definitely found that out in , you know , previous relationships . It is so not real . Sex toys are a tool in order to really really help a person and they're a tool to explore your sex life and they are like they're amazing devices to sort of pull in and partner Because , like we talked about a few episodes ago , you can't just pound your dick in there all the time ?
Speaker 2Yes , of course you need some you need a little bit of a break right . Yeah .
Speaker 2Getting some toys involved in there brings that novelty , a bit of dynamics in there , and it's a really good way to go about things also , I think sometimes people have , because I had that misconception that when you think sex toys , sex toys , you think nine to ten inch dildos , these big things that are going to absolutely split you in half . Is that all ? But that's a misconception . But like , for example , let's just say , let's just say you're a straight dude , for example , that I don't know wants to get into pegging , yeah , hey , you try to , but you look at a sex or anything , oh god , every single sex toy is nine inches . And then , cool , there's , there's little tiny ones that you can start off with in the same way , straight , straight , straight guys , gay guys . It could be a tool that , if you're a top but you want to think about what I mean , mm-hmm , there are two to help you out absolutely it's , and it's .
Speaker 1It doesn't just need to be done in partner play . Yeah , it can be done by yourself , by yourself , as a form of exploration . Nobody needs to know that you've got sex toys . It's not like as soon as you walk into a sex toy shop , they take your photo and fucking put it all over the supermarket you mean they don't Damn it . No , is that where you've been going ? That's why you've been dressing up . Oh , I see , shut up . It makes sense now .
Speaker 2Oh my day . Yeah , look , you can have like your little room , your little dungeon room that you can hide it in . Oh , look , you don't have to have a bigger room , you can just have like a little shoebox . Yeah , and you put in a shoebox and maybe you put it on the top of your cupboard . I don't know .
Speaker 1This is what I'm getting at . I'm just guessing .
Speaker 2I'm not saying that , that's what I do . Talking about sex rooms have you seen that how to build a sex room ? Absolutely the fuck . Not , I haven't , you haven't . No , it's on netflix .
Speaker 1No , I haven't oh my god , how to build a sex room .
Speaker 2Check it out , okay I have to build a sex room .
Speaker 1That's an interesting one it's so cool , so cool , check it out and I actually think that now , like there's , there's a designer who runs that show and she's you know , she's into all sorts of different stuff , but she's basically now does a whole heap of sex rooms for clients and she talks about sex .
Speaker 1And she's like sort of like a sex coach and a designer all in one . That's a really good mix , and I was just sitting there thinking while I was watching it . You know now that I'm doing this master's of sexology , and I've already got my architectural .
Speaker 1Put them two put them shits together . But I'm also . I've also got the master's of education , so like I am probably one of the only two people in the world who can teach people how to design a sex room , there you go , fuck . Yes , see , I told you , mum , I'd be special one day .
Speaker 2You're definitely special bro .
Speaker 1All right , back on track . Okay . So sex toys ? I personally think not a threat at all . It's not going to degrade your masculinity , it's not going to take away from you , because , at the end of the day , people have partnered sex not to get off , but to find intimacy and connection between two people .
Speaker 1Yeah right , if that wasn't the case , I'm telling every guy out there now that no woman would ever shag us , because the magic wand is just better than us 100 but it doesn't have a personality and it doesn't have thoughts and feelings and intimacy , and really that's why people have sex is it no one told me this fuck emotions , fuck them . I don't like those all right , getting on to your point five , what's your point five ?
Speaker 2mine is . My points are going to sound so like and we've spoken about about them on numerous times in numerous episodes . But sex education for me as a gay person , I wish that I had someone like you as a sex educator when I was small , because I knew I think most gay people or queer people don't know what . First of all , you know what sex is , because how much sex is out there for gay people like , yes , besides porn , but even porn let's talk about when we were younger , just quickly , where did you see ? Do you ever see gay porn anywhere ? No , no , even like if you went for the magazines and shit , you had to go down like the back end of the store , exactly .
Speaker 2So let's just say me , as a kid at you know , 14 years old don't know anything in the 80s about sex and all I see is straight sex . Yeah , so I don't know what to do , I don't know how to do anything . So for me I just wish that before having sex I knew what the fuck it was about , because I did not know shit about gay sex . Fortunately , when I lost my virginity it wasn't to a dude , so you sort of had some idea what was going , were doing so at least I had some idea of what was going on .
Speaker 2I say that now , but I had no fucking clue . It was over in about two and a half minutes . That's pretty good , thanks
Understanding LGBTQ+ Sex Education
Speaker 2. But yeah , I reckon my main thing would be just basic education for gay sex .
Speaker 1I love that and that sort of works into what my point four is , which is sex isn't just penis and vagina . So it's an education , it's understanding of what sex is , because sex isn't just penetration .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And I think that if we educate kids to understand that they won't feel that fear and that pressure To be honest , not just kids , there are many adults out there that don't understand that sex is Basically .
Speaker 2if I could see your bits at the very least sex bro .
Speaker 1Now here's an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask you , because I read a study about this this week , and it was talking about the understanding of , and definition of , sex throughout different groups within society . They talked about straight guys , straight girls , lesbians , gays , trans , the whole rainbow . Yep Right , talk to me as a gay man . What is your definition of sex ?
Speaker 2I think I'm bad because I feel like- .
Speaker 1Just got to put a Michael Jackson clip in here . I'm bad , I'm bad .
Speaker 2Why am I blushing ?
Speaker 1Oh god um you never blush in front of me . Come on , I know this is the worst I've ever .
Speaker 2Look for me . I'm gonna be honest . I'm one of those guys that to me , penetration is sex .
Speaker 1Okay , cool , so you fit exactly with the data . Yeah , 100 , 100 with the data . Most gay males see sex as penetration . Yeah , penis in us and that's it . Whereas if you have a look at lesbian um lesbian dynamics , they generally have about 10 different things that I'm holding up five fingers I don't know why they have about they have about 10 different things that they consider to be sex yeah right , but it's .
Speaker 1It's interesting to think about what sex actually is . Yeah , and I think for me as a hetero guy growing up in this world , where it is penis and vagina is sex . That got me lost for a little bit I've got a question for you .
Speaker 2Yo , do you consider getting head sex ?
Speaker 1I do now okay , take away education ? I didn't . I didn't before . No , I didn't .
Speaker 1Before I thought that it was just foreplay , foreplay , but now I understand that oral sex is still a form of sex I mean it's literally in the word , exactly right , so yeah , I , um , I definitely do think that now , oral sex is , is sex , and that's because it's , it's an understanding that there's genitals involved , there's intimacy , there is a whole heap of emotions involved to be able to get to that point . And that's the way that I define sex Absolutely . If it's genitals , if it's emotions , if it's intimacy , it's sex , it's sex . And emotions doesn't mean like you fall in love with somebody yes , it just means Emotion could be lust , yeah Right . Like you fall in love with somebody , yes , it just means Emotion could be lust , yeah Right . So , if you've got lust , if you've got a bit of intimacy , and if you've got a genitals involved , to me that's sex , sex , right . And that can even be boob play , butt play , interesting To me , that's it .
Speaker 2Okay , it's not how I generally think , but if I have to think about it , I feel like any kind of physical touch in your private regions is should be really constant sex .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Right and obviously in a sexual way . But if I'm touching your balls , not yours in general .
Speaker 1Is that your foot under the table ?
Speaker 2If I'm touching your balls , hey , it's the side of some sex . Not yours , jordan . Not yours .
Speaker 1Yeah , you'd have to look for them pretty hard . All right , so your number four so my number four was sex isn't just penis and vagina or penis and ass what's yours , which is funny because mine is , for the record .
Speaker 2We did not write these this at the same time I I didn't even know what jordan's were , but mine is . Number four is tops and bottoms . I wish I knew before . So let me talk about my first sexual experience with a dude right .
Speaker 1Did somebody bring out a bar of Cadbury double decker and be like which one do you want to be ? Do you want to be the black one on the bottom or the white one on the top , Just in between .
Speaker 2So yeah . So how it happened was I had a friend I used to work with gay guy . Do you want to be the black one on the bottom or the white one on the top , just in between ? So yeah . So how it happened was I had a friend I used to work with gay guy . I was still in the closet Somehow , I can't remember . I came out to him at some point .
Speaker 1Was I in the closet ? No , no , I wasn't in the closet .
Speaker 2Anyway , I told him I was gay and he was like oh , actually , I've got a friend who really likes my color-skinned people and I was like , okay , cool , anyway we go . And he's like all right , cool , we're all gonna go for uh dinner . Go to his house anyway at some point .
Speaker 2Him and his partner are like oh all right , we have a time , we're gonna leave , and I'm like , oh god , so they leave and it's just the two of us all . Good as fuck . Anyway , kind of long story short . We get to the point we're about to have sex and again , I know nothing about sex with men . So I'm there a little bit ahead , a little playing around , and then it gets to the point where I get turned over and do you ? First of all , do you think I even knew what a douche was ? Absolutely not , did not know what that was . Thank the good lord , I was all ready to go , just anyway , he goes for gold .
Speaker 2It was the most horrible , not the most horrible experience . It was a very painful experience because he didn't ask me , I didn't know what a bottom , what a top is . Basically I was the bottom , he was the top . He finished and I was so confused and I literally laid there and I turned to him and I said to him do I get a girl now ? He looked at me a little bit weird and he's like , oh , okay . So then I topped him . He looked uncomfortable as fuck and I was like , oh , my god , I'm doing this wrong . And at the end of it I was like , oh , he didn't have a good time . Come to find out months later there's something called tops and bottoms . That dude was obviously a top but was being a really nice top and decided , okay , cool , fine , I'll give you a go I'm just gonna help this loser out tonight and that's why he he did not enjoy it , because he wasn't used to taking dicks in his ass .
Speaker 2So for me , number four is I really wish that I had some a little bit education on what a top , what a bottom is . And also interchangeable you can change it any time If you think you're a top and at some point you stick a finger up there and you're like oh , I like it , I want to try a dick up there .
Speaker 1And you do it and you go . Oh God , I love this Because communication and pleasure , communication and pleasure that's what sex is about .
Speaker 2Don't skip too far , because that might be one of my other ones , but generally my thing was just yeah , it is the main thing I wish I knew . I think that's probably one of the most important .
Speaker 1So it almost ties into the education side . It ties one of the most important , so almost ties into the education .
Speaker 2So being informed about how people do it , not just what it is , but also like if I had a bit of a community around me okay , people forget , like sex education from schools and stuff .
Speaker 2If I had a bit of . I decided to have any gay friends army , then I would have known a little bit more about it , because then you can talk about things like oh you know , there's bottoms and there's power bottoms and there's power tops , and there's diverse people and there's side people , there's all these things . But I would never have known any of this at my age , before I had sex .
Speaker 1And I think that is both a symptom of the time that that we grew up 100 because people didn't talk about this . No , you didn't talk about anything whatsoever yeah , and the other thing is that back in our day nobody was coming out . Oh fuck , no . But now it seems like there's a hell of a lot of people young people that are willing to come out , and those conversations are getting more and more liberal . Yes , you know so , and I think we talked about it in the coming out episode .
Speaker 2You know , if you surround yourself with a community of people , you're better informed yes , exactly so , like if you are , if it is your first time having gay sex , you're going to be far more informed than somebody who's done nothing and you're going to be able to say , hey , this isn't right because you've got that understanding and you're going to have , you're going to , you're going to be more confident and not putting yourself in bad situations , because you know what you should yeah , not should , quote , unquote should be doing or should have or how it should be .
Speaker 1But you know what other people are doing around you exactly , so it's almost as though your understanding is peer moderated . Yes , and then you can . You can use that as like a stepping stone to leap off into things that you do or don't want to do exactly okay , what's your number three ? Number three mine is a woman who owns and directs her sexuality is very fucking hot .
Speaker 2Very hot . Do explain , Mr Jordan .
Speaker 1Again , growing up as a hetero guy . You are conditioned guy . You are conditioned .
Securing Sexual Confidence and Health
Speaker 1If you want to have a relationship , have a relationship with a girl who sexually is meek and mild , because they won't run off and they'll make a good wife . They'll stay at home and cook meals and clean the house and look after the kids . Yes , that shit's boring right . But it's not exciting either and it's not sexy . It's really really not sexy , and I suppose what this is getting down to is sexual confidence .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 1Sexual confidence for me is the primary determining factor in sexual attraction . I see you , I see you .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 1And I'm not saying like I want a girl to be a hoe or anything like that , but I want her to be in charge of her sexuality . And what I mean by that is Confidence , confidence Saying hey , I want this , I want to try that .
Speaker 2I that I like . It's not just I don't like that .
Speaker 1Yeah , I don't like that . Yeah , I would love to go out and do this , this , this and this . Um , I want to , you know , have all these different experiences touch me here , touch me there and directing things in the bedroom because oh , that's that .
Speaker 2You know what I'm gonna agree with you here . This is fucking hot . It's really so hot .
Speaker 1I feel like I'm a little bit like that in general in the bedroom because oh , that's you know what I'm going to agree with you here .
Speaker 2This is fucking hot , it's really hot , it is so hot . I feel like I'm a little bit like that in general in the bedroom , but I also do like it when a dude is like hey , this is what we're doing , this is what .
Speaker 1I like , because break it down into a very masculine trait . We love , for the most part Controlling things , yes . No , we love , for the most part , to have our ego stoked a little bit . Yes , of course , and there is nothing that stokes the ego quite like your partner having a massive screaming orgasm . All right , I've a massive screaming orgasm , all right .
Speaker 2I've never experienced that Screaming Okay .
Speaker 1I'm sure it would be really nice . It's very nice . So when we get to that point , though , in order to get your partner there , you need to understand what they're into .
Speaker 2Yes . So if she or he is confident in what they like and what they want and they're telling you yes , a full circle , not a half circle , bitch .
Speaker 1It gets it to that point where you're like yes , I want to do that for you and you're not dragging it out of them . Yeah , it's not as though you're sitting there going well , what do you want , what do you want ? What do you want , what can I do to make this better for you ? And that's a really important conversation to have . But when somebody comes out and is proactive about telling you yes , damn , that's sexy .
Speaker 2Okay , that's my point three I like your point three . My point three is I feel like we've changed roles here and I'm being more like you . So my point three is about PrEP . This is my point three , because I think this is so important that I wish I knew about PrEP . And if those who don't know oh fuck , I always forget this Pro , you know what We'll put it in the show notes .
Speaker 1We'll put it in the show notes . We'll put it in the show notes .
Speaker 2PrEP is a drug that you take that basically essentially prevents you contracting HIV Right .
Speaker 1And I'm going to jump on this one a little bit more as well . Jump Because I have found that there is a drug as well that stops . I think it's syphilis , gonorrhea and something else . I heard about this , didn't know if it's ready yet .
Speaker 2Didn't know if it's ready . Yet didn't know if it's ready , but it's pretty much there .
Speaker 1Oh , and this is great this isn't just for gay people , but look , prep is not for gay people .
Speaker 2It's for everybody , but I think a lot of straight people do have . I mean all my straight friends when I say if they're like oh , what's that w taking ? I'm like oh , it's prep . What's that ? Oh , it's to prevent h . Oh , it's PrEP . What's that ? Oh , it's to prevent HIV . They're like what ?
Speaker 1do you mean , can I take ?
Speaker 2that I'm like . Of course anyone can take it . It's not just for gay men , that's right .
Speaker 1And this is something I'm really worried about PrEP and the subordinates of PrEP now that are coming out , that are . I just really hope that I don't get that stigma that this is a gay only thing , like poppers , of course . Right , because then it's going to be a massive percentage of the population that are so scared to tackle their health but if you think about this , because of that most straight people don't know it exists exactly , so they don't know .
Speaker 2The gay people take it so if they , if it's something that comes out , or they go to their doctors . But if people listen to one of our previous episodes and actually go get tested regularly , it's something they can talk about .
Speaker 1But that's a failing on behalf of the medical thing as well . Oh , absolutely , because doctors should be talking at least once a year I reckon twice a year about your sexual health , dude , no matter who the fuck you are .
Speaker 2Speaking of PrEP , let me explain to you how many times I've been to hospitals , gps everywhere , and they always ask you are you on any tablets ? So I go yep , I'm on prep , what's that ?
Speaker 1Huh , are you for real ?
Speaker 2We joke , but I've had not joking . I've probably had one medical person know exactly what I was talking about . What ?
Speaker 1the fuck , and I've been hold on .
Speaker 2I've been taking PrEP for six years and in six years I've had one medical person know what it was . And the rest of them asked me what is that ? And fortunately I remembered the thing Travata is the thing name and they're like , oh , what does it do ? And I'm like , well , I take it every day , it's to prevent HIV . And then they look at you like you get the instant people that don't know what it's about . They give you the instant like , hmm , why are you taking that ? Do you have HIV ? No , no , idiot , I'm taking too preventive , not because I have it Too late .
Speaker 1It's a no-point bolt in the garage door when the horse is already out .
Exploring Pleasure and Intimacy in Sex
Speaker 2So yeah , I mean so for me prep . I wish I knew what it was before I started having sex , because that way I could be a lot more informed and also protect myself from a very you know , from the very beginning . Fortunately , I was the kind of kid that was so scared of anything and everything .
Speaker 1Because 80s and 90s Exactly .
Speaker 2So I made sure that I used condoms every time I had sex , and the one time I didn't , I fucking wanted to shit myself . I was so scared . Had I known something out . There was like so , for example , PrEP and PEP PEP you take before . So if you have sex unprotected sex and you worry that you could possibly contract HIV , you can go straight to the hospital say , hey , this is what's happened . They give you um the drugs . You take it for um a week and it has to be within 72 hours of you having that sexual experience and you can take it .
Speaker 2Wish I knew this before I fucking started having sex just imagine if you did actually actually to be honest , it's probably a good thing that I didn't , because I probably would never use condoms ever if I'd known this , but it's a great thing to know about , so yeah , yeah , and I think that's that comes down to now .
Speaker 1Education systems yes , right , this needs to be in fucking curriculum and I'm putting it out there it needs to be in curriculum . It's such a big thing and it needs , like the fact that you're giving me that you know that evidence from your , from your experiences . That just means that the australian , australian medical association needs to sort their fucking shit out the fact that a doctor does not know what .
Speaker 2At the end of the day , it is a very , very common drug . There are literally tens of thousands of men that take it Granted , probably gay men , but they take it . They know about it .
Speaker 1You know , while we're having this conversation , I'm actually sitting there thinking back to the amount of conversations that I've had with medical experts in my life about my sexual health .
Speaker 2And the bitches not that many .
Speaker 1It's remember when I told you about the little test tube down there , the old willy thing .
Speaker 2There was that time and that's it yep , this is why I don't go to my doctor for anything sexual . I go to the end clinic or , but basically a place that deals with gay , gay sex . Yeah , because my doctors , every doctor I've ever been to number one assumes you straight , doesn't ask the question , yeah , and number two probably doesn't know shit about being gay well , I think they only get like three hours worth of actual sexuality training throughout the whole course that's really , but yet sexuality and sexual behaviors account for so much of- .
Speaker 2Of course it's ridiculous Health issues . Wow Look that's a deeper dive . So yeah , number three would be prep . All right , what's your number two ?
Speaker 1My number two . It's not goal-orientated . It isn't no , hold on . I thought no , Hold on , I thought no , any hole is not a goal , damn it . I just wanted to say that I knew it . We always , and especially as a young guy , again always bringing this back to a young guy . You sit there and you think I'm going to get into bed with a girl and you're going go pound , pound , pound , pound , pound until you blow your load and that's it done , all right . And then I think there comes a shift , maybe about your mid to late 20s , where it's like , hang on a second , maybe it's not just about me getting off , but it's also about her getting off . So you've basically gone for 10 years at this point of just being a selfish dick , a selfish dick , literally a selfish dick .
Speaker 1So you've gone 10 years at this point being a selfish dick and now you're starting to realize hey , a female can also have an orgasm . Great , and it actually feels pretty good for me when a female has an orgasm , and they don't always have them every single time .
Speaker 1So calm down , um , big boy , you're doing it wrong if they're not right , but it's not about just her orgasm as well , and you don't need to rush down to that point to be like quick , let's flick the bean right and and just rub it out . Okay , because that's not what sex is about Exactly . Sex is not just about orgasm . If you wanted to do that , people would just be wanking all over town because nobody can get you off quicker than you can get yourself off .
Speaker 2That's exactly what boys think and that's exactly what boys do . Why I'm not ?
Speaker 1a gay guy .
Speaker 2I agree with you . Would you be surprised if I told you that when I bought them I didn't realize this at some point ? And I realized later , later , later in life . There have been many times that I've exit , I've had sex and I did not come as a bottom . Way too funny now . And but see , this is the thing I had the fucking best time of my life . Okay , if it was , if it , if it's the right dude Yep , with the right shape and the right size and the right level of intimacy probably , yep , I get that . I there's one dude in particular . Every single time we've had sex I've never orgasmed Ever , but but I have . It is legitimately top five of all time sexual experiences .
Speaker 1And let's , let's break down what you just said there though Pleasure , mm-hmm , and intimacy , yep , look at . And intimacy , yep , look at me learning Fuck Always , but pleasure and intimacy , that's where it's at . Yes , that's what we need to start thinking about . And where do you get pleasure from ? It's not just penis and vagina , penis and ass . It's not just penis and mouth .
Speaker 2It's everything it's everything All right .
Speaker 1You can get so much pleasure from tickling somebody or just stroking somebody or , you know , massage , something like that . It does not need to be genital based , it does not need to be goal orientated , it needs to be pleasure focused .
Speaker 2I mean with him . There was a whole scenario that happened every time I went over , and that in itself was hot .
Speaker 1So there was a build-up .
Speaker 2There was a build-up .
Speaker 1Okay , and was that build-up not just physical but communication-based and flirt ?
Speaker 2and everything . The build-up was that it was kind of a little bit like doors open , just come in . This is my room , that door Come in , I'll be there , do this and this and this . Okay , so it's like a fantasy role , kind of like a little bit of a fantasy role play and it's the anticipation of me going . I'm like , oh yeah , you know , go there , open the door . It's a little bit . It's just a little bit like dangerous , because it's like what if somebody's there ?
Speaker 1What if Frank the gardener is just ? What if the housemate johnny is standing there .
Speaker 2Oh shit , you know the one , but yeah , it was the whole . To me it's almost like foreplay . I haven't , I haven't done anything , I haven't even seen you yet , but it is . It's that anticipation of when I get to you , it's the reward and then it's the the reward , and then it's the yes , because sex isn't just about penis , vagina , penis and ass . Yes , sex starts hours before .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , it's the conversation when he messages and goes hey , yes , it's that , hey , immediately you're getting anticipation , right immediately you're starting to build these sexual thoughts , you are starting on that sexual process at that point in time , right , and that builds and builds and builds and builds and builds and it just gets more and more and more . And if you are pleasure focused like you ever tried edge play I have , I'm too are you blushing again ?
Speaker 2I'm too impatient to actually go . Look , I go like maybe two times or three and I'm just like nah .
Speaker 1So edge play for those people that don't know is basically bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then pulling back and bringing yourself up and bringing yourself back , but what it does is builds this massive orgasm . Yes , it is amazing though , and it is amazing , but you can get edge play from a whole heap of other things exactly right , like and that anticipation , because our largest sexual organ is our brain . Yep , so if you're constantly stimulating the brain , it's gonna feel amazing it's gonna feel amazing , like we've all .
Speaker 1We've all had like those boredom wangs where you're just bored and you're not really horny and it's just like okay , great , the orgasm is like eh , but then you get the anticipation of something and it's just amazing . And it builds , and it builds , and it builds all day and then all of a sudden it's like reverse Niagara Falls . It's just crazy right .
Speaker 2Thank you for that amazing visual .
Speaker 1Nobody went up Niagara Falls in a barrel . There's so much to unpack there , so what's our next one ? That was my number two , yours , my number two .
Navigating Male and Female Pleasure
Speaker 2All men are different . I like this Every male in my experience is fucking different . But but when you start out ?
Speaker 2you don't know this . Granted , they are the good part about being gay . I have this conversation all the time with my straight male friends that I genuinely believe I'm gonna . I'm gonna get cancelled by the woman here , but men are better at low jobs why ? This is my reasoning Wait for it . Don't give me that face , jordan , just wait for it . It's because you , as a straight guy , if you were Okay I don't want to say forced , but maybe a trick warning but if you were forced to give someone head , I guarantee you , as a first time sucking a dick , you would do better at it versus a female . You both had no experience , never watched porn , don't know anything . You would do better at it than she would . Why do you think ?
Speaker 1because you've got an understanding of what you've got .
Speaker 2A dick ticks your boxes you've got a dick , you know what you like . So therefore you go okay , cool balls , touching balls feels good , I'm gonna touch balls . Yeah , licking under the uh gland , that feels good . Playing with it , I'll do that , yeah , so you know right . However , you come in with this mindset and sure , yes , generally it's good , but every duty is different , and I I know it also applies to females , 100% , but I think when it comes to females , well , straight tell me if I'm wrong here but straight perspective , it's almost like female pleasure most of the time isn't that important . What we've said before , right ?
Speaker 1When you're younger . Yes , when you're younger . Yes , yes , when you're younger .
Speaker 2So it's almost like meh don't care , whereas with guys , guys think that they're the most important thing . So when a guy and a guy are having sex , they're two most important people in the world , right there .
Speaker 2I'm more important , you're more important , for fuck's sake . So what the hell are we supposed to do here ? This guy likes it , I like that . So I wish I knew and understood that . First of all , guys are totally different species . You know , I've had girlfriends . Before I came out after I had four girlfriends , so I went into it assuming that guys , I can just apply the same rules . No , you , just for the record , you can't apply the same rules to guys because guys are fucking annoying . But yes , my big one is to realize and understand that every male is different . Every male likes something different .
Speaker 1And you can extrapolate that out as well to females , exactly .
Speaker 2It is exactly the same , but just in societal views that I feel like women kind of don't have , aren't almost allowed to have a voice when it comes to men going . Oh , but this is what you should like , because this is what I've been taught . Speaking very generally here , yeah , but that's to me the general consensus that , like you were saying before , fuck come Gucci , that's it . Why do I just care about her ? She enjoyed it . I put my dick in her . She loves it . See , but they don't Exactly .
Speaker 1And I think . What is it ? 27% of women can orgasm from penis and vagina . Exactly , and that's because the clitoris , the glands of the clitoris , is nowhere near the opening of the vagina . They actually did a study on that . Right , get this . So they measured the distance between the clitoris and the opening of the vagina . Yeah , the closer the glands of the clitoris is to the opening of the vagina , the more likely you are to have an orgasm . Yeah , all right . So , guys , if you want to get your girl off , focus on the clit , but , most importantly , talk to them about what they want , because every person's different exactly I think , I just have to add something to that .
Speaker 2Just you know what . I'm gonna add another . I'm gonna add another number there , just quickly . I wish I knew that you could come from being fucked . If I had known that , as a gay man , as a young gay man number one , I would have tried my fucking utmost best to make a dude come that way and vice versa . But yes , do you realize that , jordan , that you can hands-free come , as a gay male , from being fucked ? Did you know that ? I certainly didn't know that it is the most intense feeling in the world and that's purely prostate , isn't it ?
Speaker 2purely prostate . Your prostate is getting massaged the whole time and it just it's happened to me once right shape right size right shape , right mental sort of moment , everything's in the right space . I , oh good because you you know what it feels like when you're about to , you're about to bust right . You start feeling like , oh , oh , yeah , I'm getting there , so I'm there going . Wait , hold , hold on . What is this ? Why am I feeling like I'm going to ? Oh shit , that was one of the best days of my life realizing that .
Speaker 1that was the thing , and this is why so many guys are starting to get into pegging .
Speaker 2Oh , 100% , because the thing is understanding that being pegged or putting something up your ass does not make you gay .
Speaker 1No . If you put your finger up your ass to massage your prostate , because gay is sexual attraction oh my god , I'm so glad I know this has nothing to do with what we're talking about .
Speaker 2I'm so glad to bring this up because this has been bugging me for the past two weeks and I've had the conversation like with
Breaking Taboos
Speaker 2five people . Just quickly , the definition of gay is what ?
Speaker 1Bob down , you idiot . Only Australian people get that Gay is .
Speaker 2homosexuality is the sexual attraction to the same sex .
Speaker 1That's right . Sexual attraction .
Speaker 2So you want to know what gay is . This is what gay is . Gay is are you attracted ? Attracted If you're a male . Are you attracted to a male ? You're gay . 90% , 99% of the time , same thing . But If I , if you put a fucking , even if you put a dildo up your ass that's shaped like a dick , you're not gay .
Speaker 1And that differs wherever you are in the world . So , latin America , right , if you are a top , you're not gay .
Speaker 2Because you're not putting anything in your ass , and that's what makes you gay . That's right , yeah .
Speaker 1If you're a bottom , you're totally gay , but if you're top , no , and it differs wherever you are in the world .
Speaker 2This is true , right .
Speaker 1And then even in Australia we have this weird sort of thing where it's like , if you're bisexual no , you're really just gay .
Speaker 2But you're in line .
Speaker 1You're in the waiting line , or you , or you're greedy yeah right and there is that whole thing where bisexuals they're sort of stigmatized by both sides .
Speaker 2Exactly right , like gay people don't like them because straight people like here and the straight people like oh no , yeah , so like there's . They sort of stigmatized by both sides , aren't exactly right .
Speaker 1Like gay people , don't like them because straight people like here and the straight people like , oh no , yeah , so like there's , they sort of get marginalized within society yep and it's . People are actually sitting there thinking , oh , you're just waiting to be gay , yes , no , it's you can be attracted to anyone .
Speaker 2You want to know what it's like .
Speaker 1People just irritate me yeah , I reckon we need to do a full episode on bisexuality oh my god fuck .
Speaker 2Yes , and hopefully . I could hopefully get somebody to come in and talk about that , because I oh , that'd be cool I might know somebody , because to me I I literally think bisexual people are unicorns . I think they're unicorns because- .
Speaker 1Not like a literal unicorn , like a horse .
Speaker 2I just think they're amazing creatures because , like for me , imagine you and I sitting here and we have a bisexual person . I want to know who does that person resonate more with you or me , your views or my views ? It's fucking amazing . It'll be so incredible .
Speaker 1And it would change again if there was two bisexual people here , exactly Because everybody's different , because they're all going to be different .
Speaker 2That goes back to my point number two . All men are different . That's fine . What's your number one ?
Speaker 1All right . My number one is sharing and following fantasies , fetishes , kinks together in a partnership is transcendent . So when you build up that communication level to a point where it's like , hey , I'm into this and your partner goes well , actually I'm into this , they're similar . Do you want to go and explore these things together and , like you , you sort of meander with each other ?
Speaker 2yeah , oh , my fucking god , meander , meander . But now my question to you is what did you think of all those kinds of fetishes that you might have heard of before you had sex ?
Speaker 1again thought they were weird because they're not penis and vagina .
Speaker 2Exactly . And you thought what Let me ask you what If you had to describe in one word a person that was into fetishes before you knew anything about them ? Give me one word , what would you think ?
Speaker 1Freak .
Speaker 2It's a horrible word , but it's the truth .
Speaker 1It's the truth , it's the truth , because in society we are molded and shaped to sit there and think , if somebody's got a fetish or a kink , that they either have a medical problem or they're just so out there that they're dressing in leather and PVC and latex all the time and doing kinky , weird shit with their grandma .
Speaker 2They're not normal .
Speaker 1Yes , Right , it becomes like a paraphilia sort of thing . Yes , but that's not the case and I have realized I like stockings . That's almost like a fetish , right .
Speaker 2I have questions . Please tell me , these stockings are not over your head .
Speaker 1No , and I'm not pulling some kids into a white van while I'm wearing them .
Speaker 2I was going with a bag robbery , but okay , okay , that's interesting , yeah , so stockings really cool .
Speaker 1They look amazing on the right side of the legs For me it's female legs . Other people have different things . Right , you're weird .
Speaker 2But I'm just doing what you did to me when I told you about the fucking armpits , but you know what I'm gonna accept . That's amazing , right cool , so talk about but the thing is fetishes .
Speaker 1I think we also get them stuck in our head where we think anybody who's got a fetish means that they can't get off without that .
Speaker 2Or what . The idea of what a fetish is Right . I think people make them like extreme , oh , fetishes . Are you taking an arm up the ass , whereas one of your fetishes is stockings , stockings , mine's armpits , armpits , right , something crazy ? Very sort of benign things . Yeah , not crazy at all .
Speaker 1Yeah , and Tina Horne was recently talking about this and she was basically saying that fetishes are just , or kinks are just a little thing that we add to our pleasure . That help us augment that and raise it up a little bit more . Exactly Right , and if you can find your things with , with either yourself or with your partner and start adding those into your sex .
Speaker 1It's amazing , mind-blowing , because , at the end of the day , humans , we have this inbuilt psychological need to find novelty . We talked about it in the Kinks and Fetishes episode . Yep , we talked about Jocelyn Miller's book . But we have this inbuilt novelty finding right , and that's why porn can sometimes be good . But it's also why Kinks and fetishes are good . Right , because you don't get stockings every day . You don't get to shag an armpit every day .
Speaker 2Well , maybe you do , I don't know , but I don't want to shag the armpit bitch , I just want to put my face in it well , I sort of had questions about that because I was wondering , like how does it move ? And chafing and like whatever , if you shaved his arm and your dick is going in there and it's like sandpaper . No , it's just to put my face in it and smell it and sniff it and maybe possibly lick it .
Speaker 1I don't know ton of pits okay , yeah , so yeah , I think doing that and that fantasies , the exploration and understanding and self-understanding that you get from that , the novelty , the ability to communicate with your partner and build up to that like , hey , oh , we're going to go out and do this thing on the weekend , yeah . And that anticipation is not just from when he texts you and says , hey , come around . Yeah , that anticipation is we are going to go out and do this sort of play in this place in two weeks time . That anticipation builds for weeks and weeks and the conversations build for weeks around it . Yeah . And then , once you actually do it , there's conversations and debriefs and I just think that following those within a relationship or by yourself , can be super , super pleasurable .
Speaker 2And it's okay to do so , and it's completely okay . Listen to our episode on kinks and features .
Speaker 1It's educating yourself and it's understanding yourself and being okay with yourself .
Speaker 2Well , this kind of ties into my number one Go .
Speaker 1Number one , let's have it .
Speaker 2My number one is you can talk about sex .
Speaker 1Fuck . Yes , I love that .
Speaker 2You can talk about sex and as a younger kid I was what ? 17 ? 17 when I lost my virginity to a girl around 19 to a dude right . When I lost my virginity to a girl around 19 to a dude right , I knew nothing about sex . Even though I was having sex , I knew nothing about it and talking about it , we don't talk about it , we just do it . If that , if you're here and like I'm saying , with my first time with the dude , there was no talking . There was not once where he asked or I asked do you like this ? Is this what you like ? Is this ? Okay , it was . We were sitting on the couch . He started kissing me from kissing pants off .
Speaker 2We fucking no conversation , wow even afterwards there was still no conversation afterwards , but like maybe him saying oh oh . So , just so you're aware , I don't like being fucked because I'm a top . Oh god , I would have known straight away what the top is or bottom is . You can talk about it and doesn't have to be done during sex , after sex , between sex . When you've said before , in the kitchen cooking , you can talk about sex and you don't have to feel shame about talking about sex . That was my biggest one .
Speaker 1Links into shame it's completely natural , and I think nowadays we've got so many different ways to communicate about sex . Yes , but I do think there is a failing on behalf of the education system . We don't teach these skills explicitly .
Speaker 2Yep .
Speaker 1And we don't teach kids that they can talk about sex without shame , because at the end of the day , it is a normal fucking thing .
Speaker 2It is part of who we are as human beings . Exactly Every fucking species on earth has sex . It is natural we talk about- . Why can't we talk about it ?
Speaker 1We talk about other bodily functions .
Speaker 2Exactly . We talk about other needs but we can't talk about sex .
Speaker 1It's just as much of a need as eating .
Speaker 2Okay , granted , we're not going to talk to everybody about it . Hold on , Wait . What are we doing ? We're literally talking to the world about sex .
Speaker 1Hi everyone . But yeah , I think it's a failing on behalf of the education that's worldwide , not just here in Australia .
Speaker 2I think we are failing somewhat as parents Not everyone , Some people are doing it really well , others are not doing it great and no one properties to those people out there that are doing good jobs , absolutely . And also , you know , at the end of the day , don't feel bad . If you listen to this podcast , you learn something great Go and talk to your kids .
Speaker 1And you know what ? Don't feel bad about the conversations that you haven't had . Feel good and excited about the conversations that you will have from now on , in that is such a good one , that is a really good one .
Speaker 2Don't feel bad about what you haven't done yet . Yes , because at least what I said before one of my favorite sayings and I always get wrong saying it , but I know what it means we might not be where we should be , but thank God , we're not where we used to be Exactly . So just remember , if you , for example , turn this podcast on today , you listen to all the episodes like oh my god , I am so behind the apple . Why didn't I talk to my kids ? Why didn't I learn this with my partner ? It's all good doesn't matter .
Speaker 2Start a conversation you know , you can move forward , because when you know better , you do better that's right , that's right so yeah , that's my number one I love it do you reckon that's it ?
Speaker 1I think we're done hey I think we're done that was . I really enjoyed that and it's really really interesting that we've got this very different background , yes , very different background . You know , gay man of colour has been traditionally a very single sort of person .
Speaker 2You fly your own . I'm just saying , I'm just single .
Speaker 1You are the golden eagle .
Speaker 2You fly around doing your own shit and you .
Speaker 1White Heterosexual Middle class dude Serial monogamous Relationships .
Speaker 2Kids . Look , we could not get , couldn't be any different , any more different .
Speaker 1But yet we've talked about the things that we wish that we had have known about sex , and I think that on most of them , dude , every single one we've gone one to five .
Speaker 2Yes , they exactly the same and , honestly , people listening out there 100 we did not know what the other one was going to talk about and they're exactly the same . So this proves that we are way more like than people like to admit . Spot on , I love that and let's leave it on that .
Speaker 1Leave it on that All right , over and out .
Speaker 2See you folks .
Speaker 1Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of Super Sex . We hope you found our discussion both enlightening and entertaining .
Speaker 2It's been a pleasure sharing insights with you all . Remember , knowledge is power and talking about these topics openly is the first step to understanding and acceptance absolutely .
Speaker 1If you enjoyed this episode , don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform . You can find us on spotify and apple podcasts just search for super sex and hey , let's keep the conversation going .
Speaker 2Follow us on instagram at supersex underscore podcast for behind the scenes content updates and more Got questions or suggestions for future episodes .
Speaker 1We'd love to hear from you . Drop us an email at supersexpodcast at outlookcom . Your feedback helps us make each episode better than the last .
Speaker 2So until next time , stay curious , stay open and keep the dialogue alive .
Speaker 1Thanks for listening to Supersex , where we explore the many facets of sex and relationships . One conversation at a time . Catch you next week . Bye , bye , I'm proud to say she's mine .
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