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Super Sex
Supersex was a podcast exploring sexuality, relationships, and sex education that ran from July 2024 to December 2025.
The show was created during an earlier stage of my professional journey as I developed my work as a sexologist, educator, and communicator. Through conversations with guests and discussions on a wide range of topics, Supersex aimed to make sexuality education more accessible, practical, and relevant to everyday life.
As my work has evolved, so too has the focus of the conversations I want to have.
In 2026, Supersex will be re-launched as The Jordan Walker Show.
The new show will explore relationships, sexuality, human behaviour, education, masculinity, digital culture, and the challenges facing young people and adults in the modern world. Drawing on research, professional experience, and conversations with leading experts, the show will focus on helping listeners better understand themselves, their relationships, and the people around them.
Thank you to everyone who listened, supported, appeared on, and contributed to Supersex.
This isn't the end of the conversation.
It's the next chapter.
Jordan
Super Sex
Honest Conversations for Enhanced Intimacy and Pleasure
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Ever had the sneaky feeling that coercion and pressure are totally ruining your chances at a stellar sex life? 😬 In our latest episode of Supersex, Sherman and Jordan are here to clear up the mess! We’re diving deep into the do's and don'ts of sex and relationships, with a spotlight on the dangers of coercion. Think of it as our way of reminding you that mutual respect and consent are like the VIP passes to a healthy, pleasure-filled relationship. 🎟️💕
We’ll share some hilarious (and educational) personal stories about navigating public vs. private sexual escapades—yes, we’ve been there, done that, and learned a few lessons the hard way. Ever wondered if your friends’ sex advice is as spot-on as their fashion tips? Spoiler alert: probably not. So, we’re all about having those honest, face-to-face chats with your partner to keep things spicy and satisfying. 😏🔥
Got major differences in sexual preferences with your partner? We’re here to tackle that with a side of humor and a whole lot of empathy. From societal norms to embracing your unique sexual identity (hello, queer community!), we’re exploring how self-reflection and open dialogue can turn those differences into a recipe for a hotter, more authentic connection.
Whether you’re trying to understand a partner’s kink or figuring out your own preferences, we’ve got you covered. Tune in for an enlightening chat that promises to boost your relationship skills and make your sex life a whole lot more exciting. And remember, it’s all about keeping it real, respectful, and ridiculously fun!
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Sexuality, Relationships, and Communication
Speaker 1Hey to all the straights , gays and nays , welcome to Supersex , the podcast where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality , sex and more .
Speaker 2I'm Sheldon and I'm Jordan , two friends , one straight , one gay taking on all things sex . Jordan Hi Shams how you doing . I'm great mate . How are you ?
Speaker 1Good Sunday morning , very , very happy .
Speaker 2I'm also happy for a Sunday morning . It's a great day outside .
Speaker 1It's not . It's sort of shitty and rainy , but I like rainy , shitty , shitty days .
Speaker 2Bro , freak Shut up bitch , all right . So this week , what are we talking about , mate ?
Speaker 1We're doing the second part of the listener question . We are doing sex and relationships do's and don'ts .
Speaker 2Ooh , I like do's , you like do's , I don't like don'ts .
Speaker 1I don't like don'ts . I don't like don'ts , but they're important to know .
Speaker 2They are important to know . All right , cool , good note .
Speaker 1Where do you want to start , though ? Do's or don'ts ? Let's start with some don'ts , don'ts .
Speaker 2All right Do you want to go first .
Speaker 1Okay , I've got three Okay that I think are really sort of pertinent to mainly sex , but also , like you can sort of extrapolate that out to the broader relationship as well .
Speaker 2Yep .
Speaker 1So I'll start with my first one Don't ever do things under pressure or pressure somebody else to do something for you .
Speaker 2Do you know what ? The same as last time . I can't believe this , but I do feel like we're gonna have the same shit again , because you're really mentioning what I've written down , right , funny yeah , we probably should have checked this before we got on here .
Speaker 1Right , right .
Speaker 2No , but it's good . It just proves the fact that gay straight relationships no relationships . Kids no kids .
Speaker 1We're all just human beings who go through life in the same way .
Speaker 2We feel the exact same . Look , at the end of the day , this is what we're here for , right Sex education . But the thing that I'm so excited to learn about this podcast is that you and I aren't that different , my friend . No , in fact , believe it or not , there's probably more diversity between um within the gay people like so between gay and gay than there is between straight and gay one thousand percent yeah , and between hetero people .
Speaker 1Oh my god , it's like the difference between the moon and the bottom of the ocean . It's just insane . I'm with you , but anyway , back to it .
Speaker 1Don't ever do things under pressure or pressure somebody to do something . If you are going to do that , especially within a sexual context , you're already going to get the person offside . Yeah , If you're going to get the person offside , yeah , If you're going to get the person offside and they're sort of willing to do it , but there's not 100% about it that could potentially you know , at the very least they're going to get pissed off . Yes , At the most , not even most but you could cause significant trauma to that person by forcing them to do something , and the thing is you don't know people's stories .
Speaker 2You don't know what causes trauma for one person versus somebody else . Like we spoke about before last week , everyone's different .
Speaker 1Everyone is different , yeah .
Speaker 2You don't know what trauma you can cause . Just don't .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's an absolutely horrible thing If you've ever been pressured to do something or feel as though you've been sort of coerced into doing something . You absolutely feel powerless and sex is not supposed to be a powerless thing .
Speaker 2Okay , some people play with power , play right , of course , but that's consensual , but that's consensual and that's something that people have had a conversation about .
Speaker 1Absolutely , and it's completely negotiated before . Yes , but you don't just push somebody into something or coerce somebody into something , because that takes away their autonomy . As soon as you've taken away their autonomy , things just stop being sexy , right ?
Speaker 2And also you're taking away the pleasure of what is sex about ? Pleasure is a very big part of sexy , right ? And also you're taking away the pleasure of every what is sex about ? Pleasure is a very big part of sex , right , mm-hmm , you're taking that away because Because you're just not willing to talk about it and respect somebody's boundaries . Exactly .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's that . Pressure that you can put somebody under is absolutely debilitating , and we talked about dual control model like brakes and accelerators yes , yes , yes , yep , putting pressure on somebody is like hitting the brake and the hand brake and the fucking air brake and every other type of brakes that there is . Yes , all at the same time . Exactly Nobody wants to go and do something if they're feeling under pressure , of course .
Speaker 2So If you make someone do something they don't like , they're not enjoying themselves . You might not see that person again .
Speaker 1That's right , you know . Or if you are in a committed relationship .
Speaker 2You might not see that person again . You might not see that person again , you might not see that person again .
Speaker 1What's that old saying you can lead a horse to water , but you can't make her drink it . Exactly , it's the exact same , not just for horses , for people , you know . You can lead a horse to cock , no , but you can't make her drink the cock .
Speaker 2I got that one mixed up . You can lead a hoe to the cock . She might drink it .
Speaker 1Who , she might drink it , who knows , they might drink it , he might he might , because a hoe can be anything Exactly .
Speaker 2So your first one .
Speaker 1Yeah , my first one is don't ever do things under pressure , yep , or pressure somebody else to do something .
Speaker 2All right , cool . Well , I'm going to take that out , because that's exactly what I had for one of mine . So my first one will be don't assume anything .
Speaker 2Kind of ties in with the same thing but don't assume anything , and that could fall into any category of relationship . I'm obviously , as we all know I'm speaking from because majority of my life I was single , so I'm speaking from a kind of a single man's , single gay man's perspective . You're more of a relationship perspective . Don't assume anything , especially me being a guy that has a lot more casual sex . I can't assume shit .
Speaker 1No .
Speaker 2Because , at the end of the day , definitely not . How do I know that that's what that person likes ? You have no idea , and it goes into what you were saying too . What happens , if I like , kind of without realizing pressure somebody into ? Doing something without realizing that I'm doing it , or vice versa . At the end of it , I just really need to know . Don't assume anything about anybody .
Speaker 1What's that saying ? Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups .
Speaker 2Yes , don't assume , because it makes an ass out of you and me . Hey , what's wrong with us ? But yeah , so my one would be mainly , I'd say just and it does tie into everything else you said before conversation speaking , talk about and what you like , what you don't like . Yeah , just don't assume , that's right , this person will like this . So let me just what did I speak about before . Keep your hands to yourself . If someone's on intervesting , how do you know ? Don't put your hand anywhere near my asshole .
Speaker 1You've got to communicate that shit if you want to try it first . Up right Exactly , Don't assume so mine is just don't assume , yeah , anything . I think my next one is don't be selfish .
Speaker 2That's a really good one . We need to realize something . Oh my God , I really hate you , that is , did you copy and paste ? Mine I just realized we said it in different ways . You know what I'm still going to say mine anyway . So , I'm going to leave this to you . Keep talking .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think selfishness within sex and relationship is it's something that will , over time , degrade . Yeah , okay , once or twice , you'll get away with it .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1And you know your partner might go . Oh okay , the sex was okay . I'll let him off this time . But when it keeps on happening , that person's foot starts moving out of the door and they're like okay . I'm not enjoying the sex that I'm having anymore .
Speaker 2That person might listen to a podcast and be like hold on , there's so much more to sex .
Speaker 1Why am I ? Here but if the person's not enjoying the sex they're having , they're not going to want that sex . Exactly , and if they're not wanting that sex , you're not going to get it .
Speaker 2That's a huge part , but also I hate to always go back to previous episodes , but sexual communication . There's only one way to know if your partner is actually enjoying the sex it's to talk about it .
Speaker 2That's right and , like you're saying , if they're not enjoying the sex , you're probably not going to get it that often , and maybe you should look at why am I not getting it that often ? That will bring you to the point that maybe there's something that you're doing that he or she or they don't like . And now you are where you are , where you don't get sex that often , and then you piss because you don't get sex .
Speaker 2That's right , because it's about both of you . It's always about both of you , unless you're by yourself in the toilet playing with yourself .
Speaker 1Yeah , Preferably a very private toilet you know , not a public one .
Speaker 2Hey Jordan .
Speaker 1Did you- .
Speaker 2Jordan , everybody has fetishes , fetishes , I know .
Speaker 1But that's a consent thing I don't want to walk into a bathroom stall and hear some dude having a fap .
Speaker 2I'm not saying that it's okay . Let me tell you something that I've realised . I did not realise this Watching porn , right , I didn't realise how many straight guys wank in public toilets , really . Yes , I have literally there's a page on Twitter of just like . Obviously these people are like it's bad because they are other people , other content . But the amount of dudes that wank in public toilets , bro , you would be surprised , because I was surprised , didn't know so there's like a whole twitter x thing about guys having a wank in a toilet
Open Communication and Sexual Initiation
Speaker 2.
Speaker 2Yes , Fuck I better be more careful . Exactly , and if you're going to do it , look up right , look behind you , make sure there's no red lights .
Speaker 1I have never Wow . That thought has never even crossed . I've only just graduated to the point where I'm actually okay to touch a toilet seat , let alone have a wank on one .
Speaker 2So you're telling me you don't have to answer this if you don't want to ? You've never had a wank publicly .
Speaker 1No , that's a private thing for me .
Speaker 2Interesting . Am I the hoe in this situation ? Am I the weirdo ? Am I the hoe in this situation ? Am I the weirdo ? Am I the freak ? I don't know . Yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1When Santa's saying ho , ho , ho , he's not talking about Christmas , he's talking about you . Look , mine was the same .
Speaker 2Mine was exactly the same . I wrote Remember Sex is about both of you .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's the intimacy and , like we talked about in the last episode I wrote , remember , sex is about both of you . Yeah , it's the intimacy and , like we talked about in the last episode , you can get off by yourself in a public toilet or in public wherever the hell you want to , and that's cool . You can get that sexual release . We don't have sex to well , part of it is to have that sexual release , but we don't primarily have sex to have that sexual release . We have that for intimacy . We have it for a whole heap of other things . Listen to the previous episode . Listen to the previous episode .
Speaker 2But yeah , yeah , that's somewhere , totally that I would say I'm gonna skip that one because I've already got the same one down . Um , don't close up yeah it kind of ties in with every single thing we're saying , because communication , all that . But don't close up , don't retreat into yourself and be like , oh no , let's just say that there's this person , has one asked you to do something you don't like , or whatever . Speak up .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Sex is about communication as much as it is physical . So don't close up and be like , oh no , you know what , I shouldn't talk about it . Or , for example , I'll talk to my friends about it and be like , hey , what do you guys think ? Because , yeah , as much as we have to remember that we kind of as human beings , we stick with what we know yes , we do . So you're gonna have friends that kind of are going to generally I'm generalizing it totally but your friend group will be with people that are like-minded .
Speaker 2So if you go , hey , this is what my man did or this is what my man said , your friend's going to think the same way as you kind of think generally , right , and sometimes people are just not that honest , so they're going to go with what they think you want to hear I love that you've said that Rather than what they should hear . I'm the friend that is the exact opposite and always will be , and I literally come with a disclaimer . When someone says , what do you think about this , I literally say , okay , hold on . Just so you know we're new friends . Please understand that if you're going to ask me that question , you ain't going to get the answer that you're wanting be ready to expect what you're not wanting to hear , because I'm gonna tell you the truth , because you ask yeah not gonna tell you which one here , so it goes back to .
Speaker 2You can talk to your friends about something . They're gonna tell you what you want to hear , or have the same view as you , which is not . It's not the best . Speak to your partner , right ? Don't close up and be like , oh I'm just gonna you know to . You know what , I'm just going to leave it like you're saying it ends up being bad sex because that person doesn't like it . You're not giving sex to your partner anymore . They're unhappy , you're unhappy , could end up in splitting up or whatever the case may be .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think the other thing as well about talking to friends about sex is when you're in that sort of environment , generally speaking you're not intimate with friends , right . So there's always that level of mistrust and vulnerability . I'm going to say , you , putting that information out there , you're immediately vulnerable anyway , right , and you're worried at some point that that information might be weaponized against you . Yes , okay , the person speaking back and giving advice is going to give advice that they believe , like you said , that everybody is going to give , because they don't want to give the advice that could be weaponized against them Exactly .
Speaker 1So you might not be getting a truthful outcome Exactly Based on the experience between you and your partner .
Speaker 2Or that person . Look at the end of the day , everybody has an agenda . We have to always remind , and it doesn't have to be in a negative way . But everyone has an agenda . I ask you a question . You're going to either give me an answer based on your experiences .
Speaker 2Number You're going to either give me an answer based on your experiences . Number one , that's an agenda . It can be oh , you know what I really don't like . I actually really want him to do this , so I'm going to say this . So he thinks that , yep , everybody has an opinion and an agenda , like I'm saying , it doesn't have to always be negative .
Speaker 1So just remember that .
Speaker 2Keep that in mind , so you can't get your answers from anybody else Get . Keep that in mind , so you can't get your answers .
Speaker 1From anybody else , yeah , get it from with your , within your relationship . Yeah , and it's like that agenda as well . Like you just pointed out , your girlfriend might want you to break up with your boyfriend because she doesn't like him because exactly she's seen a side of him that she doesn't like , that she doesn't like . She might not have seen a side of him she might might just remind her of an ex , and that guy might be getting a bad rap from her For no reason and she's giving you advice based on that right .
Speaker 1Exactly so that's one point . The other thing is perception . We perceive things based on our histories and by what's happened to us , of course . So by what's happened to us , of course . So if that's happened to somebody else or a similar thing has happened to somebody else in the past , and then that person is up and left or pressured them into something or whatever , they're going to have a negative association with that , of course they are . It might be completely different from the situation that you're having .
Speaker 2And the reality of your situation . That's it right . And then , most importantly , you can all have opinions , but what's the reality of the situation ? They don't know Exactly .
Speaker 1They're not in your partnership .
Speaker 2People don't close up . Talk to your partner . Yeah , I love that what's your number three .
Speaker 1Don't expect the other person to do all the work . You have to come to the table at the same time . Mm-hmm have to come to the table at the same time . All too often , I think , in hetero relationships , there's this expectation that the guy will be the leader , sexually , yes , and basically he will initiate , he will do things , he will get the ball rolling here , there and everywhere . It's just a partnership's a partnership .
Speaker 1It's 50 50 yes , it is your guy is going to be far more turned on by you when you initiate something you know just go guide them , guide him , just guide him , just guide him a little bit .
Speaker 2It's I mean like think about it like as a um , I don't know a woman , but as a guy . When someone's trying to stick something in you and they're just poking about everywhere , what do you have to do ? You have to guide it slow down . You have to guide it right to where the hole is able to get in there and then you know what you need to . They need some help .
Speaker 1Yeah , give them some help , yeah and I think that goes for not just , like , the actual physical acts , but it also goes for communication . Yeah , you know , a lot of girls think that if they bring up sexual topics that they will be seen as a hoochie , promiscuous , you know . Whatever Right , they don't want to bring that up because they don't want to seem like that to their partner .
Speaker 2Exactly .
Speaker 1Motherfucker , you're already in a relationship with this guy If you can't have that kind of conversation .
Speaker 2you've got bigger problems , that's right .
Speaker 1That's right and that underpins something very , very vulnerable within your relationship , exactly , and it's talking about mistrust , it's talking about dishonesty , it's talking about all these other things . If you can't even have a simple conversation about sex , or if you can't initiate a conversation about sex without , you know , fear of rejection or I'm with you , something like that that's that would be my third one , I think don't expect the other person to do all the work so I've just thought about one , because I realized all of mine the same as yours , because we're the same exactly so mine would be .
Speaker 2my last don't is don't judge , yeah , don't judge peeps . Yeah , I've said it many times and I got it from you and I love it don't yuck someone else's yum , because you need to realize that everyone's different . We've said that before what I like , you don't like . What you like , I don't like . So if I judged you for everything you did , bruh , and also a lot of the time , we just do it in different ways .
Speaker 1I'm shrinking down in my chair right now .
Speaker 2A lot of the times we might like the same shit just in different , little bit different ways . For example , I like a hole , you like a hole , you just like a different hole , sometimes even the same hole . There you go just on the different person generally speaking exactly . So yeah , the thing is we need to remember everyone's different . Everyone likes different shit . You can't judge someone for liking something that you don't understand how does it affect you , jordan ? If I'm a gay man and I have sex with men , how does it affect you ?
Speaker 1it doesn't unless you're trying to have sex with me . But then that gets back to my first one look , that's exactly it .
Speaker 2It affects . It does not affect any part of your life , what I do , so why would you judge me for it ?
Speaker 1that's right and I think if you are in a relationship or a partnership , right and you are judging the other person , that's on you for your sexual shame absolutely because you're coming at that with shame you 100% , you are . As soon as you start judging , it's because you're sitting there thinking that's a negative . And if that's a negative to you , that's because it's shame .
Speaker 2Again what you just spoke about . Everything that you're doing , you're basing it on your experiences in life , not what's in front of you . You're judging it on . Oh , you know what this happened to me . I did this in the past . You know what this happened to me . I did this in the past , so now this is the way I'm thinking you shouldn't be doing that .
Speaker 1I'm judging
Preparing for Intimate Conversations
Speaker 1you for it . And I've had conversations with couples where , at the start of a relationship , there was a significant kink yeah , let's call it that and one partner was disgusted by that kink . Initially , right , and they brought so much shame to the table and it basically polarized the couple , because sex has this beautiful thing where it can bring partners together or it can divide , right , it's nothing quite like it , but nonetheless it polarized these people , their conversations around it . Hey , why are you into that ?
Speaker 2What is the thing about it ?
Speaker 1What is this , what is that ? And they unpacked it together as a couple .
Speaker 2And then understood why and moved from there .
Speaker 1All of a sudden , the person who was disgusted was you know what ? I totally get it now . Yeah , let's give it a fucking go .
Speaker 2Exactly . And now they're fully into that . It's something that they're into .
Speaker 1It's their thing and it's brought them closer together , but why ?
Speaker 2Because they had a conversation about it . Because they unpacked it together and also , less judgment could have stopped or prevented all of those conversations . Yes , or prevented , let's just say , weeks and weeks , or months and months of not understanding and having to sit there and unpack everything , whereas if you came from a point of you know what , I'm not judging you . So if I'm not judging you , I want to understand you . Why do you like that , jordan ? And then you speak about it , and then we move forward it's that curiosity .
Speaker 1Yes , we don't ever want our partner to be the exact same as us . We want to remain curious about them .
Speaker 2I mean , I want him to physically be like me .
Speaker 1Okay , fair enough , I get that . You have very pretty skin .
Speaker 2Thank you , I want to wear it .
Speaker 1Oh God , sorry , it's just only a silence that lands , but yeah look at the end , I do feel like judgment .
Speaker 2don't judge , just don't judge .
Speaker 1Judgment is a negative thing . It is a negative thing . Curiosity is a negative thing . It is a negative thing . Curiosity is a positive .
Speaker 2Turn that around .
Speaker 1If you're not curious about your partner , what are you even doing there ? Yeah , if you're not curious about life , what are you doing in life ? Exactly , there is a significant problem If you are not curious about life , if you're sitting there saying this is my box , this is the only place I dwell in and anybody else who's outside of that box is wrong . You've got bigger problems in life . You've got some significant shit that you need to go and fucking work on . Right , because the world is a beautiful place , like I always bring it back to travel . Yes , I would love , love , love , love to travel through Africa again . Why ? It's not ? Because it's the exact same as fucking Perth . I can tell you that .
Speaker 2It's totally different , the experiences even within Africa in itself .
Speaker 1That's it .
Speaker 2One country to the next , it's totally different .
Speaker 1It's that diversity , it's that novelty , it's that curiosity about how the other side live doesn't mean that I'm going to go to africa , hang out with the africans , for so the africans like I'm going to hang out with the whole 500 million of them , but hang out with some groups of people in africa and suddenly go okay , that's me now . Yes , no it just means that I went there , immersed myself for a moment experienced , experienced it and wow , that was , that was a immersed myself for a moment .
Speaker 1You experienced , experienced it , learned from it . Wow , that was a cool experience that I can cherish for the rest of my days Yep , not that it is going to become part of me and form my identity . Like I went and hung out with the Maasai people in Tanzania , you did . They were amazing , people Loved it . It is something I will hold close to my heart for the rest of the days . Am I a Maasai now ? No , you're not .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1I do jump up and down , though I'm sure you do Not very high .
Speaker 2I'm white . I was going to say a white man can't jump .
Speaker 1He made a whole movie about it .
Speaker 2If you know , you know All right , alright , so do's , let's go on some do's . You know what I'm going first , because I feel like every time I say something , you say something , I'm following it with the exact same thing .
Speaker 1You're our copycat .
Speaker 2So I'm going to say I'm going to come out left field here and not say what I was going to say .
Speaker 1I'm going to go down somewhere . Hang on left field . Quirky , weird fact . Do you know why it's called coming out of left field ? No , okay , baseball obviously , yeah , obviously . Right Can't remember what stadium it was , but there used to be an insane asylum behind left field and people would escape and jump over the left field barrier and that's so . Now , like anything that's really off , kilter is coming out of left field because it's coming out of an insane asylum .
Speaker 2Look at us learning things together . People Jordan's teaching us everything . There you go Out of left field . Thank you very much . Did you get that from TikTok ?
Speaker 1I don't know how to work it , of course you don't ?
Speaker 2You're funny . So I'm going to say do's , prepare yourself .
Speaker 1In what way ?
Speaker 2Every single . Prepare yourself . In what way ? Every single way physically , emotionally , mentally , physically . Prepare yourself . So we've spoken about communication , we've spoken about sexual communication , everything about you know . Talk to your partner , prepare yourself for whatever they you are discussing . Prepare yourself . Hey , if your partner's into a certain fetish , kink , whatever , do some research , get yourself prepped .
Speaker 2This is what you need to do in order to get into that . If you're going to have certain kinds of sex , physically prepare yourself . But mainly I will say mine is just coming from a place of own you within a relationship . Yeah , and from that you're preparing you so that when you're going into it you're a better you for the relationship , whether that is sexual or otherwise . Be prepared whether that is sexual or otherwise be prepared I think there's a whole heap of the word introspection when you look into into yourself .
Speaker 1Let's just go with yes , yes . So I think the more you look inwards and unpack your thoughts , feelings , biases , everything around sexuality , the better your sex life becomes .
Speaker 2Exactly .
Speaker 1And when you do that , that allows you to prepare for different situations in a completely different way .
Speaker 2This is exactly where I'm coming from Prepare yourself . And the only way you can prepare yourself is looking inwards . Right , oops , unpack shit , get prepped . And , like I said , that literally just means everything I mean as in prepare yourself mentally , yourself physically if you need to , but just bring you to the table already ready yes , if you stay ready , you won't need to get ready .
Speaker 1I like that . He's been practicing that one . There was like a whole little like Dwayne Johnson , like eyebrow thing going on , oh my .
Speaker 2God .
Speaker 1We need to invest in some cameras .
Speaker 2Give me one of your do's .
Speaker 1I want to cycle back to yours a little bit . Okay , so prepare yourself . And talking about preparing physically , so that physical preparation , that's almost where sex starts as well . Mm-hmm , right , like my wife , when we go out for a night out , she's like oh , you know , one of the best parts about going for a night out is getting dressed , yeah , getting ready . As a guy , I'm like what the fuck ? Like you're putting clothes on . How is that ?
Speaker 2even you , please rephrase what you just said , not as a guy , as a straight guy , because do not speak for me , my friend , because I , as a guy , do love the prep work he loves the prep , but so I don't get it as a straight guy right .
Speaker 1What is to you ?
Speaker 2because I'll tell you why . Because for you , that is A necessary step . You have to do it to go out . So you do it . You get it done Because the goal is To go out . That's it . In order to go out , I need to get ready , because I'm goal focused , because you're goal focused .
Speaker 1Okay , my wife , when she's getting dressed , she's focusing on the moment .
Speaker 2I'm gonna stop you there for one second .
Speaker 1Please do .
Speaker 2Not because your goal focus , because your goals are different . We're all goal focused , you just have different goals .
Speaker 1Yeah , okay . So I want to get into the moment when we're out . Exactly , she wants to get in the moment now . She wants to listen to music .
Speaker 2She wants to while she's doing her makeup , she's got the music going . She's dancing . She wants to while she's doing her makeup . She's got the music going , she's dancing . The mood is right . Get in the car , put the right music on , and then you get there and she's like ready . Whereas you're like you know what ? Okay , I need to change . Brush my teeth , brush my hair , put gel in my hair , jump in the Uber , get there .
Speaker 1And then when I get there , you walk in . Yeah boy , this is me . That's like sort of how women and men approach sex as well . Yeah Well , females and males approach sex . Females need that sort of responsive desire to build up right . They respond to different stimuli , and that stimuli is the music , it's the putting on the makeup , it's that whole sort of ceremony about things , and it's not just going out Like . That's almost like a metaphor for sex , right ? Do you just want to get into the club ? You just want to get into the club . You do want to get into the club , but there's a process that you have to go through in order to get into the club .
Speaker 2Exactly , you don't just run straight through the door .
Speaker 1No , and I think when you do embrace all that side of things , that preparation side , by preparing your body physically , you're preparing your mind exactly , and then , when you step into that space , everyone's having a good time . It's great okay cool .
Speaker 2So what's your dues ?
Speaker 1all right , do be patient with your partner I like that be patient . We've talked about it before , but everybody comes from a different background and generally in hetero couples there is a different level of how can I say it Like attention to sex . Right , there is different drives within sex , Different dynamics , Different dynamics , Different dynamics . Normally one is always higher than the other , and if you are not being patient and you're trying to go , go , go , go go , that person is then going to feel pressure .
Speaker 2They're going to get left behind .
Speaker 1So sometimes slow it down , like literally don't have a wank or whatever . Slow things down . Get that whole't have a wank or whatever . Slow things down . Get that whole horniness urge out of you and go back and listen and respond .
Speaker 2I have never given better advice . Just go and have a wank , bro , just have a wank . I want to say something that I think all men need to hear Go and have a wank .
Speaker 2You're feeling anxious , go have a wank . You feeling , um , anxious , go have a wank . Feeling agitated ? Go have a wank . Need to talk to your partner about something more ? To go have a wank . I I tell all my female friends just remember something guys are simple , simple , simple creatures . So , guys , I'm telling you how simple you are . Nine times out of ten you just need a wank .
Speaker 1Just need a wank , just go , get a wank .
Speaker 2Just take some time to yourself , have fun in the privacy of your own home this is true and have a wank , yeah .
Speaker 1I think that's . It's good advice if you are running while your partner's walking sexually speaking yeah . Right . But I think there's another thing that dovetails into this is if you're not feeling that something is right with that particular dynamic , you need to talk about it , right , but you need to be empathetic and understand things as well .
Speaker 2I think everything that we Our do's , don'ts , whatever Everything kind of does , have you noticed that everything just Falls back to communication , falls right back to one topic Communication , communication , everything falls back to communication . So my do was I literally wrote down talk , talk , talk . Yeah , that's mine . Is that ? Everything that we're talking about right now is summed up into one thing have a fucking conversation , open your mouth and just talk , whatever that might be about , just start talking . Start talking to your partner , start talking to whoever it is that you know , whether it's a one-night stand or whatever , whether it's what you want to talk about others . But I like sort of don't like talk . The more you talk , the better everything will be for you within your sexual relationship . Yeah , so my main do is talk , talk .
Speaker 1Yeah , I cannot argue with that one .
Speaker 2There's not much you can add to it . It's literally just talk .
Speaker 1I feel as though we've just been talking about it , but it's , I think there's power in that as well . Talking you sort of hit on it there but talking about sexual experiences even outside of your current relationship and your current partnership Partnership I said that like a pirate but your current relationship and your current partnership Partnership .
Speaker 2I said that like a pirate .
Speaker 1But your current partnership , because that , then sort of it allows you to explore things that you did and didn't like .
Speaker 2Yeah , If I talk to you about what my previous experiences and go hey , ooh , when I was at my okay , maybe it's not the best way to say what I'm saying , but for example , ah , my last sexual experience was this it was piss play . Yeah , I really didn't like it . I thought it was a little bit weird that this guy liked this or this girl liked that . Hmm , what do you think about that ? Yeah , it's , it's , it's
Sexual Exploration and Self-Reflection
Speaker 2a .
Speaker 1You literally open up the gates and now you can have so many conversations yeah , and you can , like it is hard to talk about previous sexual relationships , but it comes down to how you're going to say , like , for example , how I just said it .
Speaker 2I'm not saying , oh , my last partner , yeah , immediately . I'm going to close off if someone says that , yeah , but if you go , hey , my last experience that I had sexual was a little bit weird . This is what happened . Do you think that's a little bit weird ?
Speaker 1and it's sort of letting them know okay , maybe I'm not gonna go there again .
Speaker 2Exactly , no talking negatively about this now . So , just so you understand that that's something if you think we're ever gonna go there . Yeah , it's a . It has to be a conversation that's had before you try it . Yes , don't just freaking , for example , spitting . Don't just spit on me . Yeah , you know what I mean . Like , let's have a conversation , don't just piss on me . I want to know . You want to know that that's what something you're into . Talk , talk , talk , talk , talk yeah .
Speaker 1Talk about talk . I reckon we actually need to do a whole episode on , let's call it , water sports . Yeah , squirting , oh okay , spitting you know what ?
Speaker 2I'm a little bit intrigued . I've never been game enough to try it , but I'm a little bit intrigued by more why people like it than my not wanting to try it straight out the gate . But I want to know more about it . I want to know the science behind it . I want to know why do people like it ? Where does that come from ?
Speaker 1I can fill you in on so much of this . Okay , I'll give you one little tiny bit of gold .
Speaker 2Okay , oh , gold , gold from the golden shower .
Speaker 1And this is something that's always stuck with me since I've read a few papers on it . But it's people , neurodiverse people , specifically autistic people . There is a higher percentage of people who engage in piss play who are autistic because it's a sensory thing .
Speaker 2That makes sense . That makes so much sense . So yeah , we are definitely going to get into that . We've got to do it .
Speaker 1We've got to do it All right , all right , what's your do ? My do Explore sex and sexuality by yourself and analyze that and be critical of why you think in certain ways . Quite often we come with these preconceived sexual scripts , right Right , that are not ours . They get handed down by society .
Speaker 2Or parents or peers .
Speaker 1Yeah , you are straight , male , white . You have sex with this type of person in this sort of way for that amount of time . Nothing more , that's how you have sex , nothing less , and the majority of us walk through life without ever critically analyzing that .
Speaker 2Because you walk with blinkers on . Because , that's right , because at some point someone put those blinkers on you . You never ask any questions , you just look straight forward and that's all you did .
Speaker 1But those blinkers are like forced on right , because if you step outside of that box , holy fuck . You are different it's almost like we don't do the day you born immediate blinkers on you by the doctor that's right straight away and you keep going and everybody reinforces that no , what are you talking about ?
Speaker 2you don't have fingers on but then reinforces that that is the right way to be .
Speaker 1That is the only way that you could . You can have sex , yes , right , and then , as soon as you're queer , you step outside of that exactly , and I think this is where a lot of queer people do this so well , because they have to critically reflect on themselves .
Speaker 2I mean like I've explained to you before . I know it was off camera , but there's so much shit that goes into being a queer person that I know you don't think of little situations like walking into the room . I've I've had about 12 thoughts already as I walked into the room . All you thought about is do I smell good ? And that's it . I've walked in and gone , uh , checked everyone in there , uh , judged , judged . Okay , fair enough , quote , unquote , judged . But am I in a safe space ? Do I feel like this ? Who are the people here ? Can I be me ? Blah , blah . There's so many things that , as a gay person , that or a queer person , that you have to do , so it's a lot easier to do that with us we can ?
Speaker 2what's the word you're trying to say that we didn't know interesting introspective , yeah , yeah look within and go .
Speaker 1Okay , cool , let me unpack this in every situation but there's a complete , there's a complete process for that , for a queer person , right , and you're putting it up against everything . You're putting it up against like physical safety , emotional safety . You're putting it up against society , you're putting it up against different people and stereotypes Because , like , I hate to say it , but stereotypes are a thing , because generally people sort of fall into that , like if you see a big muscly dude with tattoos all over himself , you know , wearing bikey clothes .
Speaker 2Is he a bikey ?
Speaker 1You know you're not going to feel super safe with that guy because nine times out of ten that guy's going to sit there and be like what the hell man Fuck you .
Speaker 2But we also do have to remember nine times out of ten , there is still one .
Speaker 1There is still one . So , going back to what we didn't go judge , all right , don't judge , don't judge .
Speaker 2Be safe .
Speaker 1But what I'm saying , though , is queer people are continually evaluating their sexuality , because they understand that their person is a sexual person , regardless of whether they're feeling sexy or not . Yes , because we are inherently sexual beings , correct ?
Speaker 2sexual beings .
Speaker 1So I think , critically analyzing our own sexuality , our own desires , our own motives , everything like that , is something that everybody should be doing all of the regardless yep , okay , so was that my third one already no , I think that was no no my last one yeah it's very simple , very easy , literally just one sentence Relax and enjoy . Relax and enjoy .
Speaker 2Yeah , enjoy it . That's my do . The most important do for me is just stop thinking sometimes .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Enjoy what's happening and just relax .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , totally .
Speaker 2Just be easy about it . Like , don't like anxiety , just breathe it through , just sit there , for example , you don't know if you you like being going as someone going down on you hmm , let it happen , see what happens , relax chill and that sort of ties everything back in what we've just been talking about .
Speaker 1Right , you critically analyze yourself sexually . That allows you to prepare . Yes , you prepare to a point , mentally , physically , however , else you do that a really good job of that . And then all of a sudden , you do that a really good job of that , and then all of a sudden , you can move into that sexy space and go relax .
Speaker 2Fuck , yes , you literally just took everything we said and just put it into a linear . That is beautiful jordan , I love that .
Speaker 1That's what it's all about literally about it .
Speaker 2Wow , that it . You know what was that ?
Speaker 1your last one , by the way no , I've got a cherry to put on top , okay go on , all right . So you do all of those things , mm-hmm . You prepare yourself , you relax and enjoy and expect and experience pleasure , mm-hmm . And then you add something on top of that and you try new things you just try Right , I like it .
Speaker 1Because and we've talked about this before but for most of us , our lives are very mundane . Yes , it ain't Instagram shit , it is a mundane routine Dude . Even the Instagram people are boring , have boring mundane lives . Are you talking about our Instagram ? Shit , it's not boring . We've been shadow banned Calm . Shit , it's not boring . We've been shadow banned , calm down .
Speaker 2It's not boring , it's amazing , but this is it . It's like everyone's lives are a lot more boring than we think they are . Some people you just remember . You're thinking it's a snippet out of someone's life 30 seconds .
Speaker 1That's it Right . But that boring , mundane thing . One of the only avenues that we have on a day-to-day basis to explore , to push boundaries , to find new edges , is sex .
Speaker 2Yeah , try sex .
Speaker 1Try sex in however you want to do it , if you are old enough safe and consensually you can try sex .
Speaker 2Do it , we've done good man . I think we've done good . I think that's it . I'm happy with that . I'm really happy with that , while I sit here holding this dildo from Mr Hankey's toys . In my hand .
Speaker 1You actually need to take that home . It's been on the desk now for a couple of weeks . Look , I you need to give us , like , a bit of feedback on that .
Speaker 2You know what I'm going to after I wash it , because I've just like been playing with so much fluff . But you know what ? I'm going to try this out .
Speaker 1Give it a go . And I'm sitting here holding these crocheted vulva and vagina and a penis .
Speaker 2And a penis . But hold on . The best part is it is a uncircumcised penis .
Speaker 1It is an uncircumcised penis . That is crocheted guys Crocheted and this was done by my really good mate , Deb , and yeah , she is absolutely phenomenal .
Speaker 2She's amazing . That is beautiful . So if you want to see what we're talking about , go on to our TikTok SuperSexPod , and we've got a little video up there . You can see it .
Speaker 1Yeah , we'll put some stuff on Instagram as well .
Speaker 2On that note , my friend .
Speaker 1Well done .
Speaker 2I like it . Everybody have a great week . See you next week , you too , ciao ciao , everyone out , bye .
Speaker 1Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of super sex . We hope you found our discussion both enlightening and entertaining it's been a pleasure sharing insights with you all .
Speaker 2Remember knowledge is power and talking about these topics openly is the first step to understanding and acceptance .
Speaker 1Absolutely if you enjoyed this episode , don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform . You can find us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts .
Speaker 2Just search for Super Sex and hey , let's keep the conversation going . Follow us on Instagram at supersex underscore podcast for behind the scenes content updates and more .
Speaker 1Got questions or suggestions for future episodes ? We'd love to hear from you . Drop us an email at supersexpodcast at outlookcom . Your feedback helps us make each episode better than the last .
Speaker 2So until next time , stay curious , stay open and keep the dialogue alive .
Speaker 1Thanks for listening to Supersex , where we explore the many facets of sex and relationships . One conversation at a time . Catch you next week . Bye .
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