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Super Sex
Supersex was a podcast exploring sexuality, relationships, and sex education that ran from July 2024 to December 2025.
The show was created during an earlier stage of my professional journey as I developed my work as a sexologist, educator, and communicator. Through conversations with guests and discussions on a wide range of topics, Supersex aimed to make sexuality education more accessible, practical, and relevant to everyday life.
As my work has evolved, so too has the focus of the conversations I want to have.
In 2026, Supersex will be re-launched as The Jordan Walker Show.
The new show will explore relationships, sexuality, human behaviour, education, masculinity, digital culture, and the challenges facing young people and adults in the modern world. Drawing on research, professional experience, and conversations with leading experts, the show will focus on helping listeners better understand themselves, their relationships, and the people around them.
Thank you to everyone who listened, supported, appeared on, and contributed to Supersex.
This isn't the end of the conversation.
It's the next chapter.
Jordan
Super Sex
Love Unbound: Embracing Non-Traditional Relationship Structures
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What if monogamy isn’t the only path to a fulfilling relationship? Join us for an enlightening and candid conversation on Super Sex, where we examine the evolving landscape of monogamy and its alternatives. We navigate the intricacies of commitment to one partner at a time, the default cultural expectations surrounding monogamous relationships, and the importance of discussing and embracing various relationship structures openly. The episode also sheds light on alternative styles like polygamy, polyamory, monogamish, swinging, open relationships, and relationship anarchy, highlighting their increasing acceptance in today’s society.
Take a step back in time as we compare historical dating norms to the complexities introduced by modern dating apps. This episode delves into the biological and cultural underpinnings of monogamy, survival mechanisms that influenced human pair bonding, and the rarity of monogamy in the animal kingdom—all of which resonate in current divorce rates and infidelity trends. The conversation also touches on how societal structures and legal systems have historically promoted monogamy, influenced by factors such as Christianity and inheritance law, and the need for more inclusive recognition of diverse family structures.
Finally, we unravel the many myths surrounding consensual non-monogamy (CNM). From the concept of compersion to the necessity of clear communication and trust, we challenge misconceptions like CNM being purely sexual or leading to higher rates of STIs. We also explore the different journeys of straight and gay individuals in navigating relationships, with a focus on the more fluid paths often seen in the LGBTQ+ community. Don’t miss this eye-opening discussion that promises to broaden your understanding of what modern relationships can be.
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Exploring Monogamy in Relationships
Speaker 1Hey guys , before we start today's show , I wanted to give a shout out to all the people from around the world who are listening . But if you're finding value from this show , please do us a favor and share it with your friends , with your family , whoever the hell you want whether it's your dog , we don't really care but please , please , share it . That's the only way that this show is actually going to be able to keep on growing like it has done . That this show is actually going to be able to keep on growing like it has done . And , alternatively , if you're not really wanting to do that , jump on social media commenting , sharing , liking our posts and getting engaged in the community that we're building . That's really going to be helpful for us . Anyways , on with the show . Hey to all the straights , gays and nays . Welcome to Super Sex , the podcast where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality , sex and more . I'm Sheldon .
Speaker 2And I'm Jordan , two friends , one straight , one gay , taking on all things sex , hello , hello . Hello , hey , buddy , how you doing Good .
Speaker 1And you , mr Jordan , good man , hello , hey , buddy , how you doing Good and you , mr Jordan , good man , good , this way , let's talk monogamy .
Speaker 2Okay , we can do that .
Speaker 1I think it's becoming like a bit of a hot topic and let's get around it .
Speaker 2All right , let's get around it . What is ?
Speaker 1monogamy , Monogamy Wait wait , wait .
Speaker 2What is monogamy first to you ? Don't give me your teacher edition . I want to know for you personally what is monogamy for you the . Jordan edition . I want the Jordan edition . Come on , come on .
Speaker 1For me , it's basically this idea that you are committed and bound to one person . Okay , it's not necessarily that you're going to be committed and bound to that person forever .
Speaker 2Right , but one person at a time , basically but one person at a time .
Speaker 1That's it for me . How about you ?
Speaker 2Same , Same , Same . My thing is monogamy one person not interested in anybody else .
Speaker 1That's my person and that's it yeah not interested in anybody else . That's my person and that's it , yeah , yeah , that's . That's pretty much the way I think it is seen , although monogamy is , it's got different sort of definitions , oh yeah and I think now monogamy is starting to come into this place where it is start . The alternatives are starting to come out .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1Right 2024 is just , we've got everything right , you can be as monogamous as you want . You can be polygamous , you can be polyamorous . You can be whatever .
Speaker 2And then , within those ones , there's still all these little sub things of okay , are you a V , are you a Y , are you a fucking triangle ? Right A square .
Speaker 1So you've got that . You've got things like monogamish the fuck is monogamish . We'll fucking get into that . We've got swingers , we've got open relationships . We've got swingers . We've got open relationships . We've got relationship anarchists .
Speaker 2We could go on for clearly hours about this .
Speaker 1We're just going to do it for now .
Speaker 2Okay , cool .
Speaker 1I don't like talking to you for anything more than that Fuck you , you bastards , clearly you do else I wouldn't be here . This is true . This is true . I mean , I could have asked multiple other people , but I asked you .
Speaker 2You clearly asked me .
Speaker 1I'm in a monogamous podcasting relationship with you , Sherman Fist me . Not without the lube and a bit of consent .
Speaker 2Should we talk about this fisting ? Let's not do that .
Speaker 1He's talking about a fist bump .
Speaker 2No , actual fist thing all right , so monogamy , where are we going to start ? What are we going to talk about first ?
Speaker 1all right . So there's this cultural sort of understanding that if you're going to get into a relationship , it's going to be monogamous because it's the default setting it's a default setting , yeah right . How many times have people got into relationships and ever asked the question how are we going to do this ? Are we going to do it as purely monogamous ? Are we going to be able to play around ? Are we going to be able to do this and that ? Nobody fucking does that ?
Speaker 2See , the thing is , I think it's done more now . Okay , even though more people yes , I don't think enough people do it , but I think enough people do it , but I think more people do it now Than they used to Because I feel like , okay , talking about when I was a kid , 74 years ago , when you met somebody , well , when I was Straight , you meet a girl , let's just say you go oh , can I take you
The Evolution of Monogamy in Relationships
Speaker 2out on a date ? You take them out on one date . You ask them Can you be my girlfriend , bam ? We are in a relationship we never need . So you go oh , can I take you out on a date ? You take them out on one date . You ask them can you be my girlfriend ?
Speaker 2Bam we are in a relationship , we never need to talk about anything more than the default setting that we are monogamous , yeah , whereas now what happens is , I think the dating sequence is a lot more different than it used to be before . Now you've got things like apps and stuff , you talk a little bit , maybe you're hooking up a little bit more than you see each other for a little while and then you might have a bit of a conversation , are we ? I mean , no one uses the word monogamous . Ew , gross , that's so old . They will use terms like um , going steady , oh my god , no , that is also very old you are showing your you are showing your age here we going steady .
Speaker 2Now y'all , are we seeing other people ? Oh ?
Speaker 1yeah .
Speaker 2Are we ? Oh my gosh , my brain's not working . Are we that thing ? Yeah , my brain's like not braining right now but essentially , there is that little bit of a conversation to say , well , are we seeing other people ? Yeah , are we cool on that ? Better than 20 years ago . But you're correct , I feel like when people are in a relationship , an uncommitted relationship , they're not having that conversation of , hey , are we open ? Because you're just assuming we are , because it's meant to be the natural thing .
Speaker 1Exactly Right . And with the natural thing there's like a lot of arguments that people keep sitting there saying monogamy is what humans have done forever .
Speaker 2Correct , not necessarily true but also just you don't fuck humans , look at animals that's right how many animals ? I'm sure , okay , you , I don't know , someone can google the shit out there , but I'm pretty sure that animals are Less monogamous Than they are .
Speaker 1I think there's only 4% of mammals which form pair bonds .
Speaker 2Yeah , and the rest are just Out there . Yeah , fucking like crazy .
Speaker 1Birds do it at a far high rate . Pair bonding , because basically One needs to sit with the egg while the other one goes off and gets the food and stuff , right , but it essentially it comes down to that . How are you gonna get the kids to survive ? Yes , survival mode , survival mode , right . And when humans started walking , like for him for a bit million years ago , right , we went from being basically apes that walked on four limbs and being able to carry a baby right at 10 , 15 kilo baby . You got my kid . It's like a 35 year old , 35 fucking kilo . But like we went from being able to carry it and still use the other three limbs , yep , to now only having two limbs to be able to walk and be able to have this baby on our back .
Speaker 2I mean I can still use my three limbs . I'm sorry , Continue .
Speaker 1I've lost my train of thought .
Speaker 2I'm so sorry , I did , yeah , so mammals , when we tried , when we started going .
Speaker 1Basically , we've gone from being able to hold this baby with three limbs and still do what we need to to then only having two limbs to be able to hold a baby Right , and one of them needs to Do something Do something right , which means , then , that we needed to recruit others to be able to look after the babies with us . The other thing is human gestation periods . Nine months takes a long time to create a baby Right . Fuck . Yes , and if you are wanting to create that baby and make sure that that baby is going to survive , you need help to be able to make it survive .
Speaker 2Yes , Because we're the only fucking animals out there that are so prone to . We're useless . We are useless as baby useless right .
Speaker 1So , and that needs to go and get you through infancy , yeah , three to four years roughly , which funnily right . So this is I'm talking one of fucking walking around the plains of Africa , right ?
Speaker 2Hey , I've walked in the plains of Africa , so have I . It's really nice .
Speaker 1It's scary , though , because you don't know if you're getting hunted by a lion . In our case , I think it was water buffalo . Water , buffalo Water buffalo , those fuckers are scary . They were banging heads out the front of our tent at like 2am . That's what you thought . That's a good effort if they weren't okay , but nonetheless , for four and a half million years ago people were walking around and they needed to recruit people to look after the kid through infancy .
Speaker 2So people will create a pair bond to get that baby through infancy so let me get the dude that may be pregnant to help me out and keep this baby safe . That's right , right .
Speaker 1That's right . Okay , so they did that , and that relationship would last three to four years , and then if they had another baby in between that , then obviously , it would be extended on and whatnot .
Speaker 1But funnily enough , if you have a look at divorce rates , modern day divorce rates , don't tell me for three to four years . Three to four years , there we go , all right . So there isn't this inherent hardwiring within us to form monogamous pair bonds , but we also still retain a part of the brain which allows us to seek extracurricular activities , right , which is why roughly 20% to 25% of relationships , committed relationships , have some form of cheating or adultery , right . Okay ?
Speaker 2So basically you're saying it's in our genes .
Speaker 1It's in our genes right to a certain extent , yeah , but it's not so much from the genetic component , it's from the survival component that we are monogamous , to make sure we're like okay , cool , right , I see you , I see you .
Speaker 1So that's where it sort of comes from . And then like if you have a look at culturally right , Culturally , 84% of cultures worldwide have practiced polygyny , which is like one man , multiple women . Yep Gorillas do that right , but male gorillas are far bigger than female gorillas because they need to be able to fight off the other men .
Speaker 1Yep Humans , we don't have that we don't have that kind of right , so we don't have that size difference , which is another genetic factor of why we're more monogamous than otherwise , because otherwise we'd need to be like 10 we have to fight off every dude keep our horrible bitches around us .
Speaker 2You know what I mean like .
Speaker 1So basically , there are physical and biological and genetic factors that form in why we're doing paired bonding yep , yep , yep but are we monogamous with one person for the entirety of our life ?
Speaker 2I mean back in the day I'm gonna say , yeah , not so much now .
Speaker 1No Right , we were never monogamous for somebody , from the time that we started having sex to the day that we died . Yeah , because , simply , mortality rates were so fucking high .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Absolutely so .
Speaker 2People want to live their best life for as long as they can . Right .
Speaker 1And like back in the plains of Africa . You're lucky if you got to your 30 . You're going to fucking get eaten by that lion or that water buffalo is going to sandwich you between it when they're having sex , or something like that , oh my days .
Speaker 2Or the hippo coming for you , sitting on you . Okay , cool , Don't forget hippos are the dangerous ones .
Speaker 1But once that person dies , they're going to need a female to be able to another male to . The female's going to need another male to be able to help raise the kids that she's already got right , or make some more new ones . Or make some more new ones ? Yeah , right , because they've only got a very limited sort of time frame where they are fertile and be able to procreate and whatnot , before the cactus on the plains of Africa .
Speaker 2Can you leave the plains of Africa out of this ? Well , the plains of Siberia just don't seem as inviting .
Speaker 1I'm just playing like that Toto song in my head , that song , you know the one . So we've always had this need to be pair bonded monogamousamous , but it's been serial monogamy .
Speaker 2We've gone from one relationship to another , and that's what's happening sort of now right , it's not like with the penguins that they , they , they bond for life , and that's it no , no , some people might do it and look I'm sure that this is because this is going to go into what I want to talk about .
Speaker 2I won't do it now , but this is what I want to go into the idea that those people that still do it are now being other people that like , oh , but why do you want to do that ? Don't do that . Like it's almost becoming a negative when people say that that's what they want and they want to be monogamous . Or people say that that's what they want and they want to be monogamous , or yeah , because it's no more , really no more the , the default setting , as much as it used to be . Yeah , that the people that are wanting monogamous relationships are the ones that are seen as are you boring or why would you want that ? And those people are becoming the odd ones out . Yeah , and it's as simple as let people do what they want to do . Why do I need to dim your light in order for mine to shine brighter ? Yeah , that's right .
Speaker 1We'll go into that a bit later but yeah , like that sort of leads into this idea of super monogamy , and super monogamy is that idea that there is the one and there's no one else there is a one person for us out there and they're gonna make everything fucking beautiful for us and there , and they're gonna make everything beautiful for us and what's your idea , what's your take on super monogamy ?
Speaker 1oh , it's like what are there ? Eight million people out there , eight , not eight million , eight billion , I think there's eight million people just in , like one apartment block in China my thing is , you know what I think ?
Speaker 2my personal view on the the one is I kind of feel like what's happening is . My idea is , let's just say you're ? You got a number everyone's assigned a number .
Speaker 2Right , so your number is a seven , yeah Right , there are many sevens out there in the world . You can make the choice , depending on where you are , what your relationship , where you are in your life , to find that one seven for you . I don't believe there's only one specific seven and one specific seven only in the world that you have to find , because that's bullshit , that's ridiculous . What happens if you're fromrica and I'm from fucking I know venezuela ? How the fuck are we going to meet each other ?
Speaker 2yeah , so my idea is that you've got a kind of person that's for you and that's your kind of person , not at a particular time at a particular time . So , for example , like there are a million sevens in the world yeah you can choose any one of them because they're going to be compatible with you , but it's not . There's only one specific kind of person for you yeah , period yeah , does it make sense ?
Speaker 2I get that . I get that . I think that's what it kind of for me . That's how I rationalize the idea that there's a person out there for you . I do believe there is a person out there for me . That's how I rationalize the idea that there's a person out there for you .
Speaker 2I do believe there is a person out there for me yeah , but I don't believe there's only one person out for me , and that's the one that's going to come in and sweep me away like fucking Prince Charming and be my be all , end all .
Speaker 2Because it depends where you are and how you're situated in your life at that particular time , what happens if my person comes past at a particular moment in time and I'm just like , oh , I'm doing the wrong thing at the wrong time , and then you go , oh no , I don't like them and keep going . Have I lost my person because of one moment in my life ?
Speaker 1Then how is that person my person ?
Speaker 2There's plenty of other tens in the sea . I'm glad you said tens and not fish , because I don't like fish .
Speaker 1But that sort of reminds me of me and my wife . My wife and I , we met at high school . Arguably , am I the same person ? I was in high school ? I fucking hope not .
Speaker 2I hope not too .
Speaker 1I would assume that I've grown a little bit since then .
Speaker 2I met you in high school . I met you in high school . Yeah , wait , that sounds .
Speaker 1We didn't meet in high school , but I was at high school , you were in high school when I was already a grown-ass man .
Speaker 2Oh , that doesn't sound good . I was 19 . Let's all calm down , people .
Speaker 1Maybe not grown . I was adulting , you were adulting , trying , trying . But so I met my wife . I was year 12 . She was year 10 . And we connected , but there was no romantic sexual connection .
Speaker 2Right , there was from me , not from her , but you just met as two people meeting .
Speaker 1We just met as two people meeting right and then 12 years later we meet and we come back . But now she's the one for me , but I've had other ones in between that , who have not been specifically sort of fully matched , but nonetheless I sort of have this notion that there is somebody out there who fits you almost perfectly yeah , never perfectly , but almost . And if you can find them great , great , yes . If you can't .
Speaker 1Keep fucking looking , you can either keep looking or do you . Yeah , right , but I think the way that our society is set up , it's all you need to find the one .
Speaker 2It's very much set up that there's only this one person for you . How many movies have you seen ? Every single movie out there that is has a romantic um undertone or content . It is always the idea that there's this one person for you and it's always fucking prince charming coming in to rescue you and make your life perfect but that's the thing , right .
Speaker 1That rescue , which implies that the person is completely at odds , is all over the fucking place , and that's like the way these narratives tend to go is that the person that's single is generally the female .
Speaker 2Yeah , life not together can't . Can't do anything , everything is problematic and the man's gonna come in and fucking up and just yay .
Speaker 1and then you find the one , and all of a sudden everything's great and you are just this person who's got their shit together because you found the one and then , at the end of it , the most important part they live happily ever after . No , no , they don't , and that's the thing . Is that this ?
Speaker 2idea that monogamy wise okay , you're going to find this one person . Like this idea that monogamy wise okay , you're going to find this one person .
Speaker 1You're going to walk off into the sunset and there the story ends , because they lived perfectly in perfect harmony , see , but chapter two goes on when they come back and there's like a sequel 10 years down the track .
Speaker 2And they've had four kids and they realize they , they go
Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships
Speaker 2. You know what ? This whole monogamy thing is just not enough for me .
Speaker 1I need more but why do people want to form monogamous relationships these days like what ? What's the fucking reason for it ?
Speaker 2stability . I'm gonna just go with . I'm gonna talk about from my yeah for what I think it is . I I kind of feel like it's the idea that if I have a partner , it's like having a job , a casual job . In comparison to a full-time job , casual is not stable . They could fire me at any time .
Speaker 2I don't know , I'm not getting benefits , whereas if I'm in a full-time role , I know exactly what to expect . I know what I'm going to get within reason , obviously yeah . So it's that stability . I feel like in a monogamous relationship . You have that idea that you know what to expect in general , versus anything else you don't know .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it's like there's emotional stability Exactly .
Speaker 2There's a sexual stability .
Speaker 1There's a . It's like there's emotional stability , exactly . There's a sexual stability . There's a social or cultural stability , financial stability , financial stability . I mean you have a look at the way that monogamy is institutionalized and preferred . You go to a bank and you turn around and say I'm in a poly relationship . Yes , good luck fucking trying to get a loan . Exactly if you try and put in a partner application for somebody to stay in the country and you say you're part of a polyamorous relationship they're gonna be like what the you ain't getting anywhere near australia exactly , you know .
Speaker 1But if you sit there and say I'm in a monogamous , long-term relationship , whether you're gay or straight it doesn't really matter , but whether you're in a monogamous , long-term relationship , people go perfect that I can deal you know what I can deal with that because it makes sense to me , because everything is just like I've said in many other episodes the world is geared around straight people .
Speaker 1Yeah , same thing ? Yeah , totally , and you've got to look at like these legal systems that underpin it . Like marriage , fucking hell . Once upon a time that was two people , a man and a woman , joined to the exclusive or to the exclusion of everybody else , for a lifetime , right , right . But now we've sort of reversed that and it's two people are married . So we don't really like the law doesn't really care whether you're gay or straight . Yes , now it doesn't . Let's use the word queer right , it doesn't care whether you're queer , but it does care that you're in a monogamous relationship . Yes , right , to the exclusion of everybody else .
Speaker 2Yes , right , this is so true .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah yeah , so there are legal things that are sitting there promoting monogamy .
Speaker 2Yes , I mean everything promotes monogamy , Everything you get a form .
Speaker 1Mm .
Speaker 2And be like it doesn't say what are your partner's names . It's like you , next person , partner , Yep Partner's name .
Speaker 1Yep , why is it not saying partners ? Yep , that's right . It's like when we're filling out forms for the um , for the school that my boy's gonna go to next year parent one , parent two yeah , it's not saying parent three no parent three but that that's bullshit , because there are many different families take out monogamy .
Speaker 2Absolutely nothing to do with that . A kid could have two parents , could have three parents . You could have a step-parent or whatever another god , but everything is around the idea of two , two .
Speaker 1Because that's the way that we are .
Speaker 2They don't care who the two are anymore , but there should be only two Yep , because how dare you want ?
Speaker 1three . Yeah , and where does that come from ? It comes from our sort of . There's that biological thing , but it's also what society's impressed on us , right , like medieval times and rise of Christianity and all that sort of stuff . They banged it onto us . Hey , you guys need to be monogamous because if you've got land that can be passed down to your kids , yes , because we can trace that lineage . But if you're banging steve , john and charlie , yeah who the fuck are we giving this land to ?
Speaker 2it's going to be chaos and it's going to be who who has rights to it who has the rights to it .
Speaker 1So there was that legal system was set up with monogamy to be able to make sure that there wasn't going to be chaos when land and titles and everything was passed down , but you could still have multiple partners over the course of a lifetime . Henry the fucking eighth , let's talk about that , dude . Yeah , I know , I mean . What do you do ? Divorce , beheaded , died . Divorce , beheaded , survived Right , yeah , it's six Back to back to back . I mean , what do you do ? Divorced , beheaded , died . Divorced , beheaded , survived Right , yeah , it's six Back to back to back . But that's serial monogamy , yeah , and that's done with legal institutions and stuff like we have now , whereas back in the day like 1930s , 40s , you couldn't get divorced yeah , you couldn't , but now you can get divorced Like you don't need a reason to get divorced . You can literally just say I don't like this fucker anymore .
Speaker 2I want out .
Speaker 1All right , if my wife's listening , don't listen to this shit You're tied with me for life , whether , you like it or not legally you can't leave . Nobody else will have me , so you're stuck with it .
Speaker 2All right , so we've talked about super monogamy .
Speaker 1Yeah , we've talked about why . Monogamy is a thing , yep , like it's a safe haven that love is underpinning monogamy .
Speaker 2You know , we found out one true person stability , all that sort of stuff . Let's talk about consensual non-monogamy or ethical non-monogamy okay , please explain to me what that is , because not in all my days have I heard that term before you never heard of consensual non-monogamy talking to somebody who has been consensually single for single as a pringle for a very long time in his life .
Speaker 1All right . So basically , consensual non-monogamy is the idea that two or more people come together and they form an agreement or understanding , intimate or sexual nature outside of that relationship .
Speaker 2So how does this differ from polyamory ?
Speaker 1Well , it doesn't , because polyamory is under the blanket of consensual non-monogamy .
Speaker 2Okay , cool .
Speaker 1As is monogamish . So monogamish is basically it sounds like a TV show is monogamish .
Speaker 2So monogamish is basically it sounds like a TV show .
Speaker 1Monogamish , it does right . You can just imagine like all these little elves sort of just like cruising around .
Speaker 2Oh yeah , I'm monogamish .
Speaker 1But monogamish is basically two people in a monogamous relationship who every now and then will either invite a third person into their bedroom third or more . Three or more or they'll just give a hall pass out for that weekend , so like basically like open-ish , it's open-ish , it's not completely open to the point .
Speaker 2Basically , it's an idea that we have a conversation . Do we want this ? Yes , I do . It's consensual , it's cons idea that we have a conversation . Do you want this ? Yes , I do .
Speaker 1It's consensual , it's consensual Okay cool . So we've got monogamish , we've got open relationships . Open relationships are where there's a primary couple and they are free to go out and explore .
Speaker 2With rules in place .
Speaker 1With rules , consensual organized rules .
Speaker 2Essentially , they're going out there doing what they want to do , but both parties are aware of what the rules are , and they can go out there and play if they want .
Speaker 1Yeah , and that dynamical change couple to couple yeah , okay , through agreement . Yes , then we've got swinging Mm-hmm . Swinging is basically when a monogamous couple will go out and they'll go to like a sex party and they'll swap partners . Right , all right . So there's that . We've got polyamory .
Speaker 2Poly meaning like multiple .
Speaker 1Amory meaning loves , so multiple loves .
Speaker 2I'm very interested .
Speaker 1That is super , super interesting , but that there's a perception that that's based on love and emotions .
Speaker 2Can we do an episode on polyamory ? We can do like a whole deep dive on polyamory Because I feel like . That's something I'm very look , I'm not saying I want to do it or that's what I'm looking for , but I'm very intrigued into the idea of having more than one partner .
Speaker 1We'll get into it . We'll do a bit of a skim in this episode , but we will do a deep dive into poly . Maybe we'll get . There's a few people I've got lined up for to come and talk about poly .
Speaker 2Okay , so we'll do that .
Speaker 1That sounds great to me . The other one is relationship anarchy . What the fuck is that ? I'd never heard about this until a few weeks back .
Speaker 2Well , I haven't heard about half the shit you're talking about today , to be honest .
The Misconceptions of Consensual Non-Monogamy
Speaker 1But relationship anarchy , where you literally don't ascribe any value to any relationships or you reject all notion of labeling a relationship . Why is that one higher than the other one ? It's , all my relationships are equal , so I'm not going to put a hierarchy on it , because you know , in monogamous land monogamy land , let's call it that the most important relationship to you is with your primary partner right , and then it might be the relationship that you have with your kids , if you have kids .
Speaker 2Okay , so we . So we talk about all kinds of relationships , not just romantic we talk about .
Speaker 1But yeah , tonic , but basically , like , their notion is that every relationship Is the same . Same Is no difference . I'm not going to ascribe any more value to it than anything else , right ? So there's these things , but so , cnn , consensual non-monogamy is like the umbrella term where all of these other things fit underneath . Yep . So there was a study done um by hamilton and they in .
Speaker 1So this was 2021 and about 20 of people have engaged in some form of consensual and non-monogamous relationship , so a fifth of people there's a lot that's a lot , but that could be anywhere from having multiple live-in partners who are all like acting as like a family unit to I don't know , going out one night and letting your partner hook up with somebody else .
Speaker 2Okay , okay , so it's all a spectrum again right , Very big spectrum .
Speaker 1So , despite the fact that around 20% or a fifth of people have had that sort of experience at one point in their life , only 2% to 4% of people are actually engaged within a CNN relationship at this point in time . Okay , so it's not actually a super popular thing , but it's starting to get more attention and more attention in the media right . More attention and more attention in the media right , and I'm not sure , like we talked about in the last episode , how trends . I'm not sure if this is something that can trend , because there's only certain amount of certain type of person who can engage in cnn yeah , because I feel like you need to be .
Speaker 2For example , I don't think you're . If you have a jealous personality , that has got , that's not gonna work for you . Hell no , and I feel like there's a lot of jealous people out there fucking right there and I think there's a lot and especially communication would be key for those relationships . Yes , um , talking about everything , and everything will be rules-based and if you're the kind of person that's not rules-based .
Speaker 1It's not gonna work for you yep , and that's that's where some , like the detractors of cnn and a proponents of cnn , sort of use that as a celebration and , uh , a knockdown point . Right , so the people who are celebrating are going well , we're in a cnn relationship here . We've got amazing communication skills , we're talking about this stuff all the time , we're exploring things together , we're doing this , we're doing that , and that all comes down to communication , trust . Yeah , this thing called compersion . Right , we're seeing the joy , getting joy from the joy of your partner . Okay , so there's that idea . So that they're sitting there and hyping up how good it is that they can communicate , yeah , and then the detractors of it sitting there going oh , hang on a second , all you were fucking doing is talking about what you can and can't do in your relationship and you so focused on rules and this and that and all you're doing is talking about it .
Speaker 1Why don't you just crack on with your relationship ?
Speaker 2Yes , Instead of talking about it right .
Speaker 1So looking at it from two completely separate angles , which is it's interesting , though it's really really interesting . It's really interesting , but I think there's like a few , a few misconceptions no , that's what I want to talk about around cnn . Yeah right , a lot of people think that is purely sexual and while with I don't know the monogamish thing or the swinging or the open relationships , they might be right on that . Yeah , okay , fair enough , you're going out there to get your rocks off .
Speaker 2But also , it doesn't apply to every relationship that's within that . That's right . Umbrella .
Speaker 1Yeah , and like polyamory , isn't that ?
Speaker 2It's got nothing to do with sexual anything . No , the whole idea of polyamory is you are in a relationship with more than one person .
Speaker 1That's right . You're loving more than one person .
Speaker 2Which I got a lot of love to give . I'm just saying I can't even say that with a straight face , for you .
Speaker 1I reckon a C&M relationship would be perfect .
Speaker 2Look , I have a lot of personalities and I just feel like I each one needs needs a partner oh , there we are , man I oh , that's perfect , you ain't bipolar , you're multi-fucking pan polar . Pan-polar I was going to say poly-polar , she's got all the poles .
Speaker 1Poly-polar , Poly-polar , oh man . Okay . So the next misconception is that because people in CNN relationships are so sexually promiscuous , they have a massive rate of STIs .
Speaker 2Yeah , I can understand that , but you can understand why people would think that . But at the same time again , it's the same deal with straight versus gay . People always assume that you know , as a straight person , you might not need to go get checked Because you know the gays fuck everybody . But the people that are fucking more are the people that are always going to make sure their shit's checked . That's right . I know this by facts . Just me I go and get myself checked , at least at the at the most once every six months yep at the least once every three months .
Speaker 2And that's not just because I'm like out here on these streets just tearing that shit up . Why did I say about that which he is . It's more the fact that I just want to make sure don't start sharing . Yeah , you know what ? Yes , I'm going to take that title . It's the fact that I want to make sure that for my all my partners , all my partners okay , calm down , sherman for the people that I'm having the relations with , that I'm being safe yeah , and that's exactly what people who are in these cnn relationships will do , yeah , exactly because , especially the ones that are like , based around a primary relationship , where it is of the sexual nature , they want to be able to go out and fun , but they don't want to bring disease back to their primary thing .
Speaker 2So , of course , they're going to make sure they're safe .
Speaker 2Have you ever thought that the majority for example , in this situation , you know , the monogamous straight people or the poor people they are the problem ? Yeah , Because the things that they they are the problem . Yeah , Because the things that they think are an issue with the minorities , like , for example , I don't know well , those people in those kind of relationships they carry diseases . When's the last time you got checked , Fred ? Never in your life , and out of everybody here , you're the one that actually is the problem because you don't care enough about yourself or your partner to actually go out there and get checked , or goes down to the autopilot thing .
Speaker 1Yeah , exactly 100 goes down to the autopilot , like when you're in a monogamous relationship you're not thinking . You're not thinking . You're following scripts . You're just doing what Society tells you to do . Right , and it's like I'm in a monogamous relationship . I don't need to go and get checked , because we're faithful to each other .
Speaker 2Yeah , right , but Fred , did you get checked Before you were monogamous To that person ?
Speaker 1That's right so , but like it's those scripts , they mean that we're not thinking about these things .
Speaker 2And those scripts are . You are assuming that everybody is exactly the same ? Yeah , no one's the same .
Speaker 1Yeah , you're assuming that because you were in a monogamous relationship before , that disease doesn't come into a monogamous relationship , so I was in monogamy , so I can't have that . And because I'm going into monogamy now , it means I also can't have that . So what's the point in getting tested ? Because monogamy keeps me free from disease . Why ?
Speaker 2didn't I think of that ? Damn it . Who needs condoms ? Who needs ?
Speaker 1a condom when you have monogamy . You can just serial monogamize next up , what else
Dispelling Myths About CNM Relationships
Speaker 1? All right . So next sort of one is that cnm can involve deep , love-based relationships like polyamory , of course , is deep and love-based . A lot of people from the outside will sit there and go . Well , you can't love that many people all at once why not you love more people in your life platonically ? That's right and they're sort of key . Takeaway from that is does that mean that you can't love more than one of your kids at the time ?
Speaker 2but also again if you don't think you can love all your kids , you don't have kids yeah so if you feel like you can't love more than one person , guess what you don't you can have to but it one person . Guess what you don't have to , but it might be for somebody else , because some people , like myself , have got a lot of love to give . Jordan , you certainly do . I've got plenty of love to give .
Speaker 1There's also this , and you hit on it just before there's this notion that people in CNNnn relationships are just going to be completely jealous all the time , which is that understanding that if somebody else is playing outside of the relationship , that that causes an inherent distrust , and you know it's .
Speaker 2It's like the person is is pulling a grievance against you but I feel like no one's going to get into those relationships if they're those kinds of people because it won't last .
Speaker 1Yeah , because the opposite of jealousy is compersion , right , and compersion is finding joy from seeing your partner's joy , yep , and I think that for most people , we all have that element of compersion , right . Like , how many times have you , I don't know , bought a gift for somebody or made a nice meal for somebody and just sat there and watched that appreciation on their face , that ?
Speaker 2I know for a fact that I'm not a jealous person . I'm the exact opposite , because exactly that , I get my jolly . I get off from people being happy . Yeah , so if I'm going to cook you a meal and I don't , I don't need the recognition to say thank you , or this meal was amazing , I don't care about that part . It's the idea that I've cooked something for you that you love , and watching you eat and enjoy every bite or whatever .
Speaker 1That is like you're saying a gift or whatever it's just seeing that reaction on their face .
Speaker 2I don't know why . In my head that just all went dirty . Everything just went so dirty just then . I suppose it is a sex podcast . It went straight to sex .
Speaker 1But yeah , the idea that I would be happy to see my partner happy yeah that would be cool with me , and the beautiful thing about the world that we live in now is we're starting to understand that there are people who sit on these opposite poles and there are people who are sitting on poles .
Speaker 2You can't say shit like that and think that I'm not going to my mind's , not going to go somewhere . You know what it is .
Speaker 1It's just a little .
Speaker 2Continue about the two people sitting on the other ends of the poles . When somebody sits on a pole . No , I've lost my train of thought again .
Speaker 1There are people out there that , yeah , there are people that there . That . So that , yeah , there are people that are might be highly jealous . Yes , there might be people that experience a high degree of compersion . Yeah , and everywhere in between and the person who just um gets a high degree of compersion in that particular relationship , at that particular time , things might change within a dynamic of that relationship which means that suddenly they sit more towards the jealousy end of things . Yep , right , but then that sort of argument comes in down to the relationship quality and dynamics and all that sort of stuff . Right ? There's another fallacy out there that anybody who engages in a CNN relationship , their relationships are flawed , they are fighting all the time , they're bickering , they don't have the depth and the connection , they don't have .
Speaker 2Maybe there's no love in it .
Speaker 1There's no love there's all of these things . There have been fucking hundreds of studies done on this , hundreds of studies on this , and pretty much all of them come back with cnn people .
Speaker 2Same , of course , same I just feel like , if nothing else , they've got more communication , yeah , which means if you have the more communication you have , the more I don't know joy in your relationship yeah , well , because you're talking about the things that bring you joy , exactly , and you're setting up boundaries and moving through it .
Speaker 1I like this Cool , let's do it . Yeah , exactly Right . Whereas in a monogamous relationship , hetero monogamous relationship .
Speaker 2You might not talk about that .
Speaker 1You sit there and assume .
Speaker 2Any relationship straight gay other .
Speaker 1So , you assume , and that assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups , exactly because you're sitting there going . That's my saying .
Speaker 2I stole it because I'm white and I can't do that and I'm black and of course you'd steal that from me it's just the way things are .
Speaker 1Get used to it .
Speaker 2I didn't mean that fuck he's just , we're getting shut down he's just joking .
Speaker 1There's somebody from spotify who's sitting there right now with , like , the self-destruct button oh wait , hold on , they're just joking too late it's done . Super sex is a thing of the past oh never .
Speaker 2Okay , cool , cool , cool , cool . So then compersion .
Speaker 1So yeah , so we've got compersion , We've got these things . There's also a myth out there that CNM is disempowering for women . Right , Because the majority of people in CNM for women . Right , Because the majority of people in CNN are males . Right , Wanting to engage in that are males .
Speaker 2Like the idea that they are making the decision .
Speaker 1They're making the decision to push the woman into it , and if the woman wants to be in a relationship with that person , then because of that they also then need to be in a relationship with that other person Yep .
Speaker 2But also I think the idea that society would look at him be like oh , because he's the man he will be , you know , calling the shots and the poor woman he's sitting there going .
Speaker 1oh no , I just got to do what my man loves , yep , okay but let's be honest women are in charge of their own sexuality as well . You have a look at the listener stats for this podcast 47% are women . Really 47% are women .
Speaker 2That is interesting . Even I didn't know that .
Speaker 1You do now Yoo-hoo , right . So 47% are women , which means that 47% of our audience a female women who are in charge of their own sexuality or wanting to celebrate and learn about their sexuality , right . So of course , women can drive their own desires . They can build their own relationship , nice .
Speaker 2However , the they want , and if they want to , if that's something that they want to do , they're gonna do it . That's right . I would hope they would that's right .
Speaker 1So let's let's talk about little bit , though , about . I think we'll talk about , like , about more sexual sides once , and then we'll talk a little bit about polyamory . Okay , right . So the sexual side ones people are literally just doing that to get their rocks off . Okay , in a sexual term , right so you're going out , you , you want that security and that emotional relationship from your primary partner , but you do want to go out there and have sex with other people because , let's be fair and we talked about this in a fantasy episode people love novelty . Of course they do , right , and we live in a monogamous society , so you're not supposed to have sex outside of that .
Speaker 2So it's a little bit . It's a two-sided thing .
Speaker 1So you want to , you want to do it , you want to try it , you want to do it , you want to try it and if , for instance , like you're a kinky person and your partner's not , and your partner's willing to sort of open up their relationship , you can go find your kinks . So let's say you want to I don't know wear leather and get pissed on .
Speaker 2But your partner does not into that , you can kind of okay , cool , I'm going to get somebody that's into leather again . I want to go piss on me .
Speaker 1Yeah , wonderful , and I'll go and do that and then I'll come back to the safety and security it makes the relationship stronger it does . Well , it does , because , firstly , you're communicating about it , you have to get that level of communication up , but it also then allows you to focus with your primary partner on the things that are important to that particular relationship and also they're not getting pissed on , so they're happy .
Speaker 1Some people are into it , some people are not . Some people are into leather . I'm just trying to think of , like , what would happen to the leather if it dried when you got pissed on ? Like would you be able to get it off ?
Speaker 2Where does your brain fucking go .
Speaker 1Honestly , sometimes I don't understand , but leather shrinks right when it gets wet and goes hard . How does somebody get it off ?
Speaker 2Is leather euphemism for something else ? No , no when it gets wet .
Speaker 1God , I'm actually sitting there thinking now , like about crusty hard leather that's piss dried and you're trying to get it off and , like I'm just thinking now , it's going to cut your skin and stuff and oh , why did I go there ?
Speaker 2I didn't even think about that . You're so fucking weird . It's hilarious , I love it . Fuck , are you done ?
Speaker 1I feel like your brain is somewhere else right now if we have somebody from the leather community listening , can you please just send me a message and like scroll down to the bottom of the show notes , and I've actually put a hyperlink in there where you can text messages right now . Right , do it Scroll down to the show notes , send us a text message right fucking now and tell me If that's something that happens , yeah , so what is your question ?
Speaker 2Ask it now quickly .
Speaker 1If leather gets peed on , does it go hard and get really difficult to take off .
Speaker 2It's a practical question . I will be honest with you Not once in my life have I ever thought about that .
Speaker 1But now Never have I , now I know .
Speaker 2Now it's If ever I'm going to get into leather play or piss , play I will know what the answer is . Want to get that shit waterproofed ? Exactly , play .
Speaker 1I will know what the answer is I want to get that shit waterproofed , exactly so the sexually side side things they allow you to explore , they allow you to go through your kinks and your fetishes and can be a good thing for your relationship .
Speaker 2It can be a good thing consensually spoken about it can the other .
Speaker 1The other way that it can build is it can build your development with your partner , right . So this idea that when , as a couple , you push boundaries together , it actually brings you closer together , right , and whatever that is . So , whether you're climbing a mountain or whether you are I don't know swimming in the ocean or diving or engaging in leather-based piss play , whatever that is , but doing hard things together and doing novel and challenging things together actually brings a relationship closer together , a relationship closer together , and I'm going to argue that there's nothing more difficult for a monogamous couple to do than to open their relationship for the first time .
Speaker 2Of course that would be fucking hard .
Speaker 1It's very fucking confronting .
Speaker 2It would be very , very confronting .
Speaker 1So just the mere fact that somebody's going through that is going to start bringing those kids together . Also , you're willing to do the work which shows a lot . It's the work right . It's the work , it's the communication , it's the understanding and empathizing with the other person's point of view . I want to ask you a question out of left field .
Speaker 2Out of left field . Do you feel like in today's society , right now , 2024 , that monogamy is kind of dying , but also ? That it is almost to a point where it's kind of like almost frowned upon that if you are in a monogamous relationship , you're kind of like oh .
Speaker 1I'm yeah . I think that we're actually starting to get to this point in society where it's if you're monogamous and vanilla you're fucking weird , but hold on , you just said it , that monogamy .
Speaker 2Is vanilla Equals , vanilla Gay community . Wise , I do feel like I don't know about straight community , but the gay community . Wise , I do feel like I don't know about straight community but the gay community . I kind of get the feeling that , like when you , when you say that that's what you're looking for , you just want a monogamous relationship , you are kind of looked at a little bit sideways like oh , who does that anymore ?
Speaker 1but that comes which I don't like though yeah , but I've done a little bit of diving on that because I knew that this would come up right .
Exploring Views on Monogamy & Polyamory
Speaker 1And it comes down to the social conditioning that straight people have as opposed to gay people , right , all right . So , as we're not talking about how you've raised , I'm talking about the point when you come out as gay , yeah , or you are continuing on a straight path , right . So as a straight person , it's always reinforced to you when you're getting married . Who's this person ? When are you going to bring them ? You know , we send out wedding invites with a plus one yes , right . And everything for a straight person is structured , it is scripted , correct , hierarchical , right . So everything has got this very sort of linear nature you'll get a girlfriend , you'll date , you'll marry , you have kids , you have kids .
Speaker 1You do this , you do this and it just carries on because it's we've got this script , whereas with gay people there's no fucking there is no script , because part of being gay is being able to celebrate your own personal sexuality , wherever the fuck that takes you .
Speaker 2Yeah , right , but also there hasn't been , it hasn't been long enough where we are accepted that there can be a script , even written yes , so 100 years from now . Yep , there might be a very , very boring , yeah , gay script .
Speaker 1That's written , that that's what you do , but right now we're just too new in society to go , oh okay this is your script and I would almost argue that part of the script right now for gay people is to push boundaries absolutely right , okay , that that doesn't .
Speaker 2It's almost like you know you're going back to . Why do you want to go back to being almost straight ? Why do you want to do what ? What ? The heteronormative idea and the idea that , um , monogamy is almost heteronormative which is not at the end of the day , it's just what we're saying is you want one person and one person only whether it's for this time or forever . I personally , I would assume that I am a monogamous person . I want one person .
Speaker 2I'm not saying that I have one person , that's the only person that's ever going to be for me , but I'm quite happy with having one person . Would I be open to discussing something else ? Absolutely , but that's me . But I do get the feeling that because I'm like that there's a lot of gay people out there , I'm like , oh , that's just not for me , that's boring . Why wouldn't you want more ? And almost what we always say yuck , yuck my arm , yeah , that I want that normalcy , yeah , and there's nothing wrong with that . Totally , totally .
Speaker 1It is a lot more celebrated within the gay community to be in poly relationships or open relationships . Absolutely , and that's because generally not always gay people want to push boundaries and see where their sexuality can take them . But there are people within a queer space who want that monogamous relationship . They want that normalcy , you know .
Speaker 2They want that normalcy , because they look at what ? Because what's normal ?
Speaker 2what's pumped out into the media is that you know that straight idea of what the normal is yeah and you want to experience that normalcy within your own rainbow , your own way , in your own way , um , your own way In your own way . I want to have , I want to be . I'm a man that wants a man , but I want to have a wedding where I'm waiting at the bottom and he walks down the aisle and you know , we do everything that like a straight person , a straight couple would do , but in a gay way . There's some people out there that want that , because that's what we've conditioned to believe is the way .
Speaker 1That's right . That's right , and we've had a chat about that as well . You know , like I remember , maybe like 10 years ago , we were walking through town and you've seen Parker Men's Wear and you're like that's where I'm going to get my Xenia suit when I get married . And I was just like this motherfucker's got it all mapped out .
Speaker 2I'm so glad that you remember I'm wearing a Xenia suit , good man .
Speaker 1I was just like hope . As the best man , I'm not expected to pay for that fucking thing .
Speaker 2No , but you will also , my friend , be wearing a Xenia suit , actually , no , you don't have to wear a Xenia suit . I'll be wearing a Kmart suit .
Speaker 1You don't have to wear Xenia , but I will 100% be wearing Xenia . See , I don't know if Xenia would fit my body type .
Speaker 2We can make you . We can make it fit your body type .
Speaker 1A lot of like lube and get it on there .
Speaker 2Of course you want to go with the lube .
Speaker 1Well , I'm just imagining like latex getting dragged over somebody , but with the polyamory . Just imagine like latex getting dragged over somebody . You know , Fucking funny , but with the polyamory . So people gay people we've just talked about are a lot more open to exploring polyamory .
Speaker 2Yes , yes , we are .
Speaker 1Gay males , but not lesbians .
Speaker 2Look , we know I'm not going to speak for any lesbians out there . I'm not going to speak for women out there . However , there , I'm not going to speak for women out there . Um , however , I'm just going to go from my perception and my ideas of what look they are always . I'm just pitching . It's the most butch lesbian driving a subaru , going to bunnings stereotypes . But , come on , where do these stereotypes come from ?
Speaker 2they come from somewhere generally based , somewhat in reality , somewhat in reality but I do from what I know about the lesbian folk , yeah , they do prefer monogamy . They prefer , yeah , the idea of you know stability Because A tool belt .
Speaker 1Strap on . Oh my God , I just snorted . But yeah , so different demographics appreciate different things . But for polyamory , right for me , I've always sat there and gone . Personally , that's a fucking hell . No , that's too much . I'm in a monogamous relationship with a boy , I've got a son , I've got two dogs and a cat and I'm telling you right now I don't have the time or the energy to give anything more like maybe that's why I'm .
Speaker 2It's something that I would consider , because you know what I got your hand and it's five daughters . I got , you know a nine to five and I come home and that's it well , that's it right .
Speaker 1so people with the time are a lot more open to polyamory . Yes , People without it . It makes sense why ?
Speaker 2because you know in my head , but I do also feel like I'm a little bit like . I feel like I'm a little bit ADHD , in the sense that I have a lot of thoughts . I need a lot of . I'm not going to say I need a lot of attention , but I need a lot of attention .
Speaker 1And this brings like what you've brought that to , is this perfect thing of neurodiverse people . So people of neurodiverse backgrounds are a lot more likely to find themselves in polyamorous relationships because they can move between different paths , right ?
Speaker 2But I do feel like that would be . I'm just thinking of other people . I'm like all my , like I said , all my personalities . All of them are going to be too much for one person , so let me get four and spread them across and be like okay , cool and that sort of that .
Speaker 1That brings it back to another great point , and I was always sitting going because we were talking about this at uni the other day and I was like how do you give all of yourself to all of these different people , give some of yourself to each person ? And that's exactly what this person came around and said . They were like well , you've only got 100% .
Speaker 2Yeah . You don't get more partners and get more than 100% you don't get 200% with two partners .
Speaker 1You've still got 100% . You just need to go 50-50 . And if you've got five partners , it's 20-20 , 20-20 . Yeah , and that allows you then to sit there and explore this idea that you do give your certain parts to different people , but that's what you do in general in life parts to different people .
Speaker 2That's what you do in general in life . You do you give certain group friends of group group of friends , a certain part of you , because you can't give them everything no so you give what , what you can , to the people that you can , because you have to spread yourself .
Speaker 2I've got a very not anymore , but I used to have a very diverse group of friends and a very big group of friends and it was used to frustrate me that I'd have one group of friends or one friend and be like , oh my gosh , you never spend any time with us or me . I need more from you . And I'm like , do you not get that ? Take you outside of it . There are seven other groups Not just people , groups of friends that I have to spread myself across , all of them . So you can't have 100% of of me , a hundred percent of the time . Yeah , you are only ever going to get a percent yeah you're never going to get a hundred percent .
Speaker 2No one's ever going to get a hundred percent no , way no way . So the idea that in a polyamorous relationship you can give that to everybody , as long as it's understood that you haven't ? He just remember there's four of us in this yeah that's right , you need 25% .
Speaker 1Like within friendships as well , we naturally give ourselves to other people based on our interests . Yeah , so I've got a group of footy mates , exactly . I've got a group of baseball mates . I've got it work mates , I've got you know the sexology mates . I've got this , I've got that . Do my sexology mates see what ? The sort of things that I do with my baseball mates and my football mates .
Speaker 2No , fuck , no Exactly .
Speaker 1But I can give different parts of myself to different people . You can compartmentalize . I get different things from each one of those groups . Like I want to get my stimulation like my mental stimulation , I go to my sexology mates . Or stimulation like my mental stimulation , I go to my sexology mates . Or I go to come home and talk to my wife physical simulation you might go to my hand oh sorry my wife , I was gonna say bitch you're supposed to say your wife but like we do this naturally anyway , and polyamory is just an extension of that .
Speaker 1Yeah , because whilst we have physical needs that we might want to get satisfied , we also have emotional or intellectual needs . Yeah , and polyamory allows that to happen .
Speaker 2Yeah , so I've found this very informative .
Speaker 1It's been interesting right .
Speaker 2It's made me think about a lot of things .
Speaker 1Yeah , and now you're sitting there signing up to all these polygroups online .
Speaker 2It's got multiple polygroups open right , look , I'm not going to say I ain't going to say I'm not , I'm not going to look at it , I'm not going to start Googling as soon as I leave here , maybe .
Speaker 1You know what , though , at as I leave here . Maybe you know what , though at the end of the day , this episode was designed to make it less scary , yeah , for people , and it was designed to . If you do have that thought , which most of us do have thoughts of group sex , multi-partner sex , anyway allowed to , you can have those thoughts and , if your situation allows , it dictates it , bring it up with a partner , exactly again , not for one second .
Speaker 2We're saying that monogamy is wrong or it's right for the right person .
Speaker 1It's just like with everything else .
Speaker 2It is your . You and your partner . What you decide is good for you and that's all that matters . And if at some point it's not or it changes , that's also cool . Talk about it . Have a conversation . Sexual fluidity , sexual fluidity , relationship fluidity How's ?
Speaker 1that we should coin that term . We just did , you did . I'm co-authoring this , even though it came from your mouth , because I'm white and I can't do that .
Speaker 2Of course , here we go Always dealing shit straight from me .
Speaker 1You know this motherfucker All right , I think we'll come back , we'll cycle back and we'll do . I want to do a deep dive episode on swinging , okay , and I want to do a deep dive episode on polyamory .
Speaker 2I would love to do a deep dive episode on polyamory . I would love to do a deep dive episode on polyamory after I've done some deep diving research well , you can do your research .
Speaker 1I'm going to get a cup of tea .
Speaker 2Well , uh , that's all folks over and out .
Speaker 1Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of super sex . We hope you found our discussion both enlightening and entertaining it's been a pleasure sharing insights with you all .
Speaker 2Remember knowledge is power and talking about these topics openly is the first step to understanding and acceptance .
Speaker 1Absolutely if you enjoyed this episode , don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform . You can find us us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts Just search for Supersex .
Speaker 2And hey , let's keep the conversation going . Follow us on Instagram at supersex underscore podcast for behind the scenes content , updates and more .
Speaker 1Got questions or suggestions for future episodes , we'd love to hear from you . Drop us an email at supersexpodcast at outlookcom . Your feedback helps us make each episode better than the last .
Speaker 2So until next time , stay curious , stay open and keep the dialogue alive .
Speaker 1Thanks for listening to Supersex , where we explore the many facets of sex and relationships . One conversation at a time . Catch you next week . Bye .
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