Super Sex
Supersex was a podcast exploring sexuality, relationships, and sex education that ran from July 2024 to December 2025.
The show was created during an earlier stage of my professional journey as I developed my work as a sexologist, educator, and communicator. Through conversations with guests and discussions on a wide range of topics, Supersex aimed to make sexuality education more accessible, practical, and relevant to everyday life.
As my work has evolved, so too has the focus of the conversations I want to have.
In 2026, Supersex will be re-launched as The Jordan Walker Show.
The new show will explore relationships, sexuality, human behaviour, education, masculinity, digital culture, and the challenges facing young people and adults in the modern world. Drawing on research, professional experience, and conversations with leading experts, the show will focus on helping listeners better understand themselves, their relationships, and the people around them.
Thank you to everyone who listened, supported, appeared on, and contributed to Supersex.
This isn't the end of the conversation.
It's the next chapter.
Jordan
Super Sex
Challenging Masculinity Myths in LGBTQ+ Conversations
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Ever wondered why some straight men are so fascinated by anal sex yet hold such contradictory views on masculinity? This episode of Supersex takes you through the maze of societal perceptions and individual preferences with humor and honesty. We challenge the assumptions many have about gay relationships, with a special focus on the curiosity surrounding anal sex. Through candid conversations between friends, we explore how society's rigid perceptions of masculinity can lead to awkward or even offensive questions about gay sexuality. Expect to laugh and learn as we tackle these double standards head-on.
Prepare for a comedy of errors as we recount the repetitive, often absurd questions straight men have about gay relationships and sex. From classic queries like "when did you know?" to the more intimate and sometimes awkward questions about sexual roles, we share our own experiences with these conversations. With a light-hearted approach, we break down the ignorance and assumptions that fuel these questions, all while offering an entertaining perspective on the broader theme of understanding and acceptance.
We continue by pulling back the curtain on sexual fluidity and the evolving nature of identity labels. Through personal anecdotes and examples, we invite you to think beyond conventional boundaries and appreciate the spectrum of human attraction and preferences. Whether discussing why being a "side" is becoming more recognized in the gay community or examining how sexual preferences can evolve over time, our conversation underscores the importance of curiosity paired with compassion. Join us as we encourage open dialogue and reflect on our motivations, aiming to foster a community that thrives on growth and understanding.
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Unpacking Straight Questions for Gay Folks
Speaker 1Alright , folks , get ready to dive into the wonderfully awkward , deeply curious and sometimes just plain wild world of questions straight people have for gay folks . We're unpacking everything from the classics like who's the man in the relationship , to the more complex , politically charged questions like why do labels even matter ? Anyways , we'll explore what these questions reveal about cultural perceptions , where curiosity ends and assumptions begin , oh , and we'll throw in a few hot takes that may or may not ruffle some feathers , because fuck it , it's our show , so why the hell not ? Anyways , let's get into it . Hey , to all the straights , gays and nays , welcome to Supersex , the podcast when we have conversations and share our perspectives On sexuality , sex and more . I'm Sheldon .
Speaker 2And I'm Jordan . Two friends , one straight , one gay , taking on all things sex .
Speaker 1Hey dude , how we doing good morning , I'm good .
Speaker 2How are you ? Jordan ?
Speaker 1I'm good man , I'm good . Uh , you know , I've um been sitting here thinking a lot about these interviews that we were doing , mm-hmm , and I'm so happy that we're not going to be doing them anymore , mm-hmm . I think that , yeah , we basically got to a point where we were just trying out some different avenues with things and we were talking to some pretty amazing guests and they were awesome . They were really , really amazing . But our show's not about that . Yes , our show's like , if you want to talk to experts and all that sort of stuff , like there's so many different podcasts that do that yes , and I am by no means any expert .
Speaker 1No , but like you know , we're sitting here , we're talking about this stuff from our perspective and I think if we do do interviews again , they'll be in person Yep Interviews with friends or people who are in certain lifestyles or something like that , and it won't even be like an interview . It would just be like three people just having a chat having a chat having a banter .
Speaker 1Yeah so yeah , those interviews are cool , love doing them . Just be like three people just having a chat , having chat , having a banter . Yeah so yeah , those interviews were cool , love doing them and they were all really fun and really informative .
Speaker 2I learned a lot .
Speaker 1They really were , but that's not what super sex is about . Unlocked a new kink ? Yeah , you did , but we won't talk about that . Thanks , keely , yeahely , yeah , so we're going to go a different way . I think I might do like a couple of quickie episodes with different guests on very specific topics like ED or purity culture and stuff like that , but I think for our main episodes we stick to this . We stick to this . This is super sexy , this is what our jam is it ?
Speaker 2stick to this . This is super sexy . This is what our jam is Super sexy . It's super sexy .
Speaker 1Well , actually neither of us are sexy .
Speaker 2Wow , fuck , you . Speak for yourself , bitch . You didn't see me at Pride last week .
Speaker 1Oh , you did have a unicorn . Come all over , you Shut the fuck up . Talking about sexy , I've been reading this fucking wicked book called A Curious History of Sex by Dr Kate Lister . No , I'm curious . It is actually very sexy . Okay , but this one comes from Marquis de Sade , and so there's a whole chapter in this book about the word cunt .
Speaker 2Okay , which is such a fabulous word , especially in Australia . We love the word .
Speaker 1We love the word , we love the word right , but I wanted to read this out because it has stuck with me okay , go on , let's see what's so again so marquis de sade , like , gave his name sadism , all that sort of stuff , right , okay ?
Speaker 1so here it is . Next , I will lodge my prick in her anus . You will avail avail me of your arse . Twill take the place of the cunt she had under my nose , and now you will have at it in the style she will have employed her head now between your legs . I'll suck your arsehole as I have just sucked her cunt . You will discharge , so will I , and all the while , my hand , embracing the dear , sweet , pretty little body of this charming novice , will go ahead to tickle her clitoris . That she too may swoon from delight . And they say that we're getting more fucked up now in 2024 than they were back in the 1700s when marky decided look I feel like we went through it .
Speaker 2We went through a section of time where we just went all back into the closet and then all of a sudden now we come back out . But those people were fucking crazy as fuck . Oh man , they were hypersexualized .
Speaker 1Well , hypersexualized , we're just talking about it . Just horny fuckers , just horny fuckers . Horny fuckers .
Speaker 2But I have a question . You said something about anal , so I have a question . You said something about anal , so I have a question . I need to ask this question .
Speaker 1A gay man is asking a straight dude about an anal question . This is exactly . Wait , hold on .
Speaker 2Don't get excited because I'm going to put you in your place very quickly . So I was driving here right , and I had , out of nowhere , I had this thought . I think I might have been listening to a podcast and I had this thought about your people straight people , straight people , straight people , white people fat , people straight males oh , I have this question male , middle class and white .
Speaker 2So let me ask you a question what is the ? It's a two-part . It's a two-part question . What's the obsession with straight men and anal ? Straight anal , straight anal . What's the obsession ? That's my first question to you .
Speaker 1Do you want me to answer that ?
Speaker 2now . I want you to answer that now .
Speaker 1Okay , Twofold . I think , Obviously , everybody's into it for different reasons , right , but for the most part , I think it's twofold , yep . Firstly , it's the taboo nature , and you're going to say that , sure Right , taboo right , you're not supposed to put a dick in there , right , it's a little bit .
Speaker 2Who said ? Who said Jeebus ? Jeebus said oh , no he didn't technically say I mean he didn't say it , but he did say . He didn't say you can't do it . He didn't say don't put an ass . All he said was , basically , don't come outside of her . That's all he said . He did was , basically , don't come outside of her . That's all he said .
Speaker 1He did not say don't Listen here , boys , you stick it up their ass , but you don't come on the floor . Exactly .
Speaker 2So Tabu Second for Just imagine Jesus strung up . I don't know why Jesus all of a sudden sounds like Mike Tyson , but okay , jesus strung up on the cross .
Speaker 1You can put that thing in me , put it in my thigh . You wriggle it all about . You can put your cock in there as well , but don't come on the floor .
Speaker 2Oh my God , you went to a very dark place .
Exploring Gender and Sexual Taboos
Speaker 2What's your single part of your answer ? Go on . So , first is taboo .
Speaker 1I don't know , I'm lost , Okay cool so . Okay , so taboo , taboo . And it is sensation , right , sensation is so much different .
Speaker 2Okay , cool . So Would you agree this is not a second question , but Just On top of the back of what you're saying Would you agree that straight men are a little bit obsessed with anal sex or wanting to try anal sex with their female partners ?
Speaker 1Yeah , I think so .
Speaker 2I think so , right . So this is my actual question Uh-huh question why the fuck do straight men have such a huge issue with gay men having anal sex ?
Speaker 1so what I'm saying here is they want to put it in the girl's back door . But as soon as a guy puts a cock in guys back door it's a problem , as a guy puts a cock in a guy's back door it's a problem .
Speaker 2So I was thinking about this and I was like blew my mind . I'm like hold on , I never , ever thought about this , because the amount of times I've been around my straight friends or straight work guys and stuff and they've made taking the piss out of me and say , oh yeah , it's gross , ah , whatever , and I've never thought about it . And it hit me today , driving here , thinking hold on the whole thing with the issue that I'm generalizing here that gay straight people have with gay men . They basically condense us into a sexual act , which is anal sex . Yep , and they find it gross , right , and they'll come up with all reasons why they find it gross , just because it's two dudes , because oh you fucking ass , don't you get shit , and blah , blah , blah and all this crap . No pun intended .
Speaker 2But , when it comes to them , it's perfectly fine . And female assholes , it's not just perfectly fine , it's something , something , excuse me . They want so badly to do and literally search for it and want any girl that's going to allow them to put it up their ass , up their ass emasculation .
Speaker 1That's the answer you're looking for . I think to a lot of the straight community not everybody , a lot of the straight community they see a guy taking a cock in the and they go .
Speaker 2That is feminine , that's fine , but there has to be dudes to putting the cock into said males asshole absolutely that's not that's not feminine no , but that's funny because that's so true , because the amount of times I've had people go oh , if I ever say I've , I've bought them and taken it like oh bro , yeah , and then becomes , oh why , yeah , yeah , I didn't see that from you . You realize that there's two gay men and if they're going to have penetrative sex , someone's dick has to go into someone's orifice . Someone needs to be penetrated . Someone needs to be penetrated . Just don't come on the floor Speaking of which Coming on the floor or being penetrated , being penetrated .
Speaker 2I was on Reddit and I was just randomly reading up questions and just people writing random shit , which brought me down a rabbit hole , and one of the things was questions that straight guys are too afraid to ask came in . So I feel like I reckon let's go through Reddit , let's look at some questions , let's do it . Um , some of them will be ones they want advice , but I found ones where guys are just basically asking questions that they wouldn't be able to or don't feel comfortable enough to ask yeah , because nobody wants to ask that question .
Speaker 1Why out public ? Right ? Because ?
Speaker 2why they don't want to be seen as . Oh , that's going to sound , you know , if I ask this question , people are going to think I'm gay . I'm not gay , right ? I just want to know which . I want to start this by saying I think it's the fucking funniest thing in the world , right , Because every straight dude that's ever asked me questions starts exactly the same , to the point where they are so similar .
Speaker 2I'm not gay . It doesn't even go that way . It usually starts with a situation where they feel comfortable enough , where it's just the two of us , for example . Let's just say , uh , there's three of us driving home from a club . One gets dropped off . It's me and the straight dude . I'm gonna drop them off somewhere and it I can .
Common Questions About Gay Sex
Speaker 2It's almost like I know the exact moment , when they're gonna ask and exactly what they're gonna ask .
Speaker 1It's like a mood change . It's like when you walk through like a haunted place and it just gets cold .
Speaker 2The back of your the head on your neck , stand Literally so they will . It will go . This mood change goes , just it just flips and then they do the whole hey , and I know straight away , I know exactly what they're gonna , where it's going and even the questions they ask , because they ask the same fucking questions and it will start , hey man . So I have a question . You're like , of course you fucking do I want to know these questions now .
Speaker 1What are they ?
Speaker 2all , right , so I wrote them down here . Hold on . So it's always the same kind of thing , right ? So for me it's so like you're gay , right ? Yes , when did you know ? Yep Is always the first one , okay , which ? Okay , cool , that's fair enough . And I'm like well , as far as I can remember I don't know exactly when , but I know as young as I , like when I was five years old , there was something that I kind of knew was different . Yeah , then they go with how ? Because they don't know about tops and bottoms . It's always that fucking stupid line that I hate so much . So , like , who's the girl which ? Just ? Which I interpret as oh , you want to know ? Like , who takes it , who gives it ? Yeah , they're like , yeah , and they're like , but like , how do you know ? Like , do you actually have like ? Do you like put in the ass ? I'm like , yes , where do you know ? Like , do you actually have like ? Do you like put in the ass ? I'm like , yes , where else are you going ?
Speaker 1to put it when else are you going ?
Speaker 2to put your fucking ear , your nostril . Yeah , it got wax on it . So then it's like okay , cool . Then I have to explain to them what tops and bottoms are , and I'll go well , there's tops and there's bottoms , and one gives , one takes . And then what do you think the next question after me explaining that is Can I be the bottom ? Every single one of them do it . So the minute I say , well , there's tops and there's bottoms , one gives , one takes , what do you think the next question will be ?
Speaker 2Oh , man it's directed at me Personally . Does it hurt ? No , no , I want to know straight away . Oh so , which one are you ? Which ? Always throws me it always throws me because one it's a really personal thing to ask . I feel like in the gay community who cares ? Like if I'm sharing , I'll share to anybody who wants to know I'm versed .
Speaker 2If you all want to know I'm versed , but having a straight dude ask that question is always really . As many times they get asked , I get thrown by it every time . Yeah , Because I'm like you realize you want to know what I'm doing sexually , how I have sex that's basically what you want to know . Yeah , that's like me going to you . Hey , so when your wife have sex , does she like to ride you or do you just like slam her from behind ? It's a weird thing to ask , right yeah yeah , it is .
Speaker 2But also this is why it's funny , because they all have these questions . Yeah , they're all too scared to ask because they think it's going to sound gay , yeah , or someone might judge them . So they're not going to ask their mates or anybody that they can think of , but they all get to that point where they need to ask these questions . So I'm here to answer all these questions for you , straight men . One yes , we do put in the butt . Two does it hurt , ab ? One yes , we do put in the butt . Two does it hurt ? Abso-fucking-lutely , it does hurt in the beginning , depending on how aroused you are . You have to be careful . So never , just don't just slam it in there . Yep , and I'm averse , just so you want to know . You want to know what that is . It's both . I take it and give it All right .
Speaker 1Do you know what ?
Speaker 2that is , it's both . I take it and give it . All right . So Do you know what you need ? Now ? You need , like a little QR code .
Speaker 1As soon as they go . Hey , I got a question . Hold on , scan this and they'll be like , listen to this and we're done .
Speaker 2Like , how did you know ? Because as much as you straight . So when I went on reddit , right , I went on reddit and they , I'm gonna say it actually got boring because every single person asked the exact same thing in the exact same order . Basically guys wanting to know . So does it hurt ? How do you figure out who's the boy , the girl ? But one of the funniest ones . I really hope I screenshot this one . I couldn't stop laughing just with the way it was written . Where is it ? Um , basically asking if , how do you guys figure out who ? Wait , hold on , I wrote it down here . Oh , there it is , there is . How do you decide whose penis is going to open up and accept the other ?
Speaker 1First of all , we don't open up .
Speaker 2How do you decide whose penis is going to ? Sorry , whose arsehole is going to open up and accept the other whose asshole is going to open ?
Speaker 1up and accept the other . I'm just imagining I'm listening there .
Speaker 2They press a button just like opens magically .
Speaker 1Oh it's you , you're the one that will fuck . Oh wow that , oh wow that . Do you know what ? This speaks to me ? This speaks to me . Ignorance , yes , but ignorance of their own understanding of sex , exactly Right . These questions , well okay , they're interesting to know , with even just the most minimal Research Thought , thought . And reflection of how sex actually goes down would answer these questions .
Speaker 2Let's see , this is where you're getting it twisted . If you think about two guys having sex , you gay you can't think that what you're talking about .
Speaker 1Because , let me , let me throw something at you , I'll say that another question up .
Speaker 2not no , it's not actually even a question , it's something I will voluntarily give to my straight friends , because when they'll talk about sex they'll say something and make a comment . And I'm like you realize that gay guys can have sex in missionary position and every fucking straight male looks like their mind has exploded in their head . Yeah , because they cannot figure out . How the fuck would you have sex facing each other Again , if you just physically thought about it , you go oh well , that makes sense . They probably just put their legs up a little bit yeah , exactly , and then there's a hole , and then you put it in .
Speaker 1It's just like a two second thought process , like you do the exact same thing with your girlfriend , but again you can't think that way Because you're gay .
Speaker 2Because you think that way , if I'm thinking of two dudes having sex , I'm not gay .
Speaker 1But again this sort of draws it back as well to that emasculation thing . Yes , right , a lot of people when they think about gay sex they think of one person being bent over .
Speaker 2They're thinking about the act that went back to my whole . Point is that everything goes back to this one act that they're thinking of .
Speaker 1And that act is .
Speaker 2Gay people are getting pounded in the arse . And if they're getting pounded in the arse , that's not manly , that's very feminine to be taking it , which makes so many more issues that make that so problematic . But I digress . But the funniest part is that these questions always end up the same and I was so flabbergasted when I read it . That's a nice word I know right , it goes up there with cunt .
Speaker 1Let's put it out of super sex dictionary First cunt .
Speaker 2Second flabbergasted , third fistulous .
Speaker 1Fistulous .
Speaker 2You won't get fistulous if you come on the floor .
Speaker 2Exactly so . I have a few things-huh , I'll just just shoot them out there just a couple of questions that I found interesting , but also quite funny , right ? So one , is a prostate orgasm a real thing ? Someone asked oh , my bro , the fact that straight men don't know that the prostate is the male G spot is literally called , it's coined , the P spot . Yes , for all you people out there that don't know , if you it's not okay to stick your finger in your ass . It's fine , stick your finger up your ass like one or two inches , find the walnut , massage it while you're while you're wanking .
Speaker 2And I guarantee you , if you don't do it , get your girlfriend or your wife to do it . I guarantee you you will have the most intense orgasm of your life . I've never tried it . I am . You know what that's fucking homophobic . You've changed . I don't even know you anymore .
Speaker 1You sound like those Israeli people . Soon you'll have an issue with bombing millions of fucking Palestinians . You're anti-Semitic . I'm sorry , I just don't like seeing millions of people killed Fuck .
Speaker 2I'm sorry , but that's homophobic , Jordan . Why have you not tried this ?
Speaker 1You are an older man in your it's good for my prostate health , actually , and it's very good for my prostate health actually , isn't it ? And it's very good for your prostate health . So get in , because if you don't do it , your doctor's gonna do it for you soon . Sort of what I'm waiting for doctors all I'm saying is I've got something to tell you , right , funny , funny .
Speaker 1I was sick . I've been sick for like the last two weeks . Maybe you can hear it in my voice , maybe you can't . You can definitely hear it in a quickie episode last week , but whatever , which is why I haven't been on Instagram anyway , but nonetheless walked into the doctor's office . Seen your doctor , dude , handsome fucking guy Right . I was just like , oh , great looking guy .
Speaker 2Where is this ? I want to go just off camera . Just tell me where it is , cause I'll go to see that doctor too .
Speaker 1It's just down the road at the end of the street . Oh , wonderful , yeah , yeah , I'll make you an appointment with him . Beautiful , um , he's definitely gay as well . Stop , yeah , okay , now I can't go . Yeah , real handsome dude , but nonetheless like getting into these whole questions from straight to gay , and I think we've talked about this a little bit as well . But you can appreciate that somebody's good looking Absolutely Without being gay , without being gay Exactly , you know . And I come back and say to my wife and I was like hey , new doctor down there , actually a really good looking guy . My wife's like what the fuck Do I need to be worried ?
Speaker 2not , until he does my prostate exam well , look I am . I'm 41 , so I might have to book a prostate exam every week . No , look I actually . Funny , fun fact I've always said that if I had to have a good looking doctor , I really don't think I would be able to . I will . I really don't think I could . What perform ?
Speaker 2or just I just go there because I would feel so awkward and like , let's just say I went there and was like okay , cool , I've got a weird spot on my ball sack . Yeah , I do not want the hot gay doctor going anywhere near my balls . One , what happens if I get hard ? Two , what happens ? He looks at him , thinks about you gross . I do not want the hot gay doctor going anywhere near my balls . One , what happens if I get hard ? To what happens ? He looks at him , thinks well , you're gross , why does it look so weird ? But also I think I would just feel really embarrassed . But at the same time do I want a hot doctor Just to stare until he asked the questions . That's when it's awkward . Yeah , so you want . Uh , when's your last sexual health test ? Oh , it's been a while , so let's do one now how many ?
Speaker 2people . Have you had sex within the past three weeks ? One you besides you doctor , tonight nobody else , by the way . Are you free ? Look ? Yes , well , but this is you , don't ? I've said this a million times . Let me test you to see if you're listening to me .
Privilege and Identity in LGBTQ+ Conversations
Speaker 2What makes somebody gay ?
Speaker 1Wanting to be with another man .
Speaker 2Sure , but there's one other thing .
Speaker 1Being attracted to another man .
Speaker 2If they say they are how they say they are , how do I identify being a Manchester United fan ? Wow , you are really coming for some people out there . Mm-hmm , getting cancelled , you're going to get cancelled bitch From all three of the man .
Speaker 1United fans now that are not fucking good anymore . You're going to get cancelled bitch From all three of the man United fans now that are not fucking good anymore , you're fucking terrible .
Speaker 2Hey , I'm gay and I don't even like soccer Football . Which one do I say , oh God , soccer . You're talking to an Englishman , I don't know which one . I get confused . Think Football .
Speaker 1Right on Okay cool . Fine , don't ask stupid questions if you think for two seconds .
Speaker 2Sorry .
Speaker 1I apologize .
Speaker 2But look , going back to that , this is the thing , right , is that ? Being gay dictionary homosexuality is the attraction to the same sex . Attraction to the same sex Yep , I will add on to that . If you identify as gay and you're a man United fan , then you're definitely gay .
Speaker 1I'm not on to that If you identify as gay and you're a man United fan , then you're definitely gay . I'm not saying that part you can keep saying that one , then you are gay .
Speaker 2That's what makes you gay . Yeah Right .
Speaker 2Yeah , so if I , meet a dude and let's just say take him home , we have sex After . He's like look man , I'm actually straight . I just want to try this . Whatever Do I think he's gay or bi . No , he's straight because he identifies as straight . He might have had you know what ? I want to try this out , see what it's like . It was good , but it's not for me . I'm good , he's still straight . But the idea is that if you stick a fucking finger up your ass , that's not gay , it's your own body . It's your body . If that's the case , then your hand is gay , every fucking time you touch yourself .
Speaker 1Totally yes , but yeah , so I just wanted .
Speaker 2I would just want to put that out there guys .
Speaker 1I think that's totally valid .
Speaker 2Two things , one attraction .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2So , for example , if you see a trans woman Yep , she's hot as fuck , you're attracted to her .
Speaker 1Does that make you gay ? See , as a straight person ? This is another question I've got to ask . Okay , let's talk about the language of that , because it's confusing for straight people , all right . Language of that , because it's confusing for straight people , all right . So when you say a trans woman , does that mean ?
Speaker 2a man that is transitioned to a woman , correct ? Okay , so the , the , the prefix the um , not the the I don't know english , sorry , the word afterwards the man or female , or man or woman . Yeah , is what they identify as and are now Okay . So if I'm a trans woman . You're a woman .
Speaker 1So you're a man that has gone to a woman , so that last word is what you are now Exactly , which means that you've transitioned from the other , Exactly Trans man .
Speaker 2I transition from female to male . Yep , Trans female . I've transitioned from male to female . Okay , cool Right . So , we'll start there . Yeah , I'm glad you asked that question . Go on you , because it's true , people do get confused yeah , that's another one of these questions to me and people go oh , but hold on , what are they ? Yeah , just think about what you're talking about , right ? What are they now ?
Speaker 1yeah that's what it is see and that is a perfect little tidbit that that can go in ejection as well . Tid , titbit , just a tits bit , but like that's a perfect thing that people always wonder about , yes , while they're learning today , always wonder about how does this work ? Like , why is this language and the language within the queer communities is so fucking diverse ? It is , and gay people find it hard to keep up alone straight people , and the thing is , I understand why straight people can get confused .
Speaker 2The only thing I have a problem with the straight people is when they make it a big deal . But oh , why that it doesn't bother you at all ? No , because if it bothered you this much , you probably don't have any of those people in your circle .
Speaker 2One number one yeah number two how hard is it just to respect someone , period . Yeah , if a female gets married and she's known as um , jane doe her whole life , she gets married and she becomes jane smith , yeah , nobody goes . Oh , I'm sorry , I've known her as jane doe her whole life . I find it difficult to remember to call her jane smith . No , you go , okay . Well , society says we accept this , so we accept , and we just do it . Yeah , yeah . But someone says look , I'm not john anymore , I'm jane . I can't do that , it's too hard you know what I think it is .
Speaker 1I think that that , firstly , it all seems so new to a lot of people . It's not , which it's not . It is totally not right . Trans people have been around for fucking centuries , millennia , right . As long as it's been human beings , it's been trans human beings , right ? Yes , it is not a new thing , but it is new to our cultural psych in the fact that what you said before , we were open , open , open , yep . And then we locked everything down . And that period has been locked down since what ? Like medieval era , yep , right . Medieval era , just everything's fucking locked us down , yep . And now we're starting to come out into this new thing .
Speaker 2So , realistically , we are discovering this whole new dynamic , right , and people are having to get used to certain things which they never understand , that in every period of time you've had to get used to something changing , but they're so fucking against it . That's the part that drives me insane .
Speaker 1Absolutely .
Speaker 2But you know what I say ? It comes down to Right and I know that people get really annoyed at me , because I always use this word and it becomes a buzzword , but to me it comes down to privilege .
Speaker 2It's privileged people never having to ever feel uncomfortable Yep , that , for example . I'm going to say it and a lot of people aren't going to like it . For example , the idea of white privilege Yep , right , a lot of people will say there's no such thing . That literally they don't realize . They're literally giving into exactly what the idea of white privilege is . The idea of white privilege is is that you don't know something exists because of your privilege , right . So you don't know something exists because of your privilege , right ? So you don't know , for example , that black people get disproportionately incarcerated compared to white people because , let's just say , you don't know any black people .
Speaker 2Your privilege is the fact that you don't ever have to be in a situation where you have to understand that person's perspective because the privilege is you're white . Does everyone have privilege ? Absolutely have to be in a situation where you have to understand that person's perspective because the privilege is you're white ? If does everyone have privilege ?
Speaker 2Absolutely , so for me , I see it as the privilege that you don't have to ever think about changing your way you speak because , for example , let's just say , you are straight white male and you've always been at the top of the food chain . Someone's telling you you cannot say what you're saying and you have to change it . So now you have to go . This is John , not Jane anymore . No , but you don't tell me what to do , because I've always had the privilege . I've never been told what to do . Yeah , I see it as the privilege that these people have that no privilege . That these people have that , no fuck . That I'm not changing because I never had to , and they themselves don't see or understand it that that's what the privilege is , or that they have privilege see again straight people , the word privilege .
Speaker 1It becomes problematic as well , because a lot of people sit there and like and it happens , you know , white privilege , straight privilege , all that sort of stuff , male privilege , male privilege . But as soon as you sort of say privilege , it means it's got this underlying sort of connotation that you've got benefits from that Right , but there's a lot of kickback from it . And this is where , like , I think , most of the problem comes down to language .
Speaker 2Yes , Right , because people don't understand what the actual , what privilege means . Yeah , people aren't understanding it .
Speaker 1So when , when somebody sits there and goes , oh , you're straight privilege , and they feel judged , they feel judged , they feel judged and they're like , well , hang , hang on a second . You don't know what the fuck I've gone through and you're just sitting there now labeling me with straight privilege , and you don't know the fucking anything . But you want me to understand you , which is true , and you're just labeling me , yeah , like , and I think there's this strange sort of duality in the way that things are done between straight and gay , straight or queer , however you want to label that but because of the language that's being used , that's what the problem is . That's where the problem's been set .
Speaker 2The preconceived notion of what that word means , so they automatically feel judged for no reason . Number one Exactly . I've literally used I've had a conversation with someone white privilege . And they go oh , what privilege . Do you know what I grew up like ? Stop , pause , relax . That's not what I'm saying . Exactly privilege .
Speaker 2Every single person on the planet has privilege . For example , you have privilege privilege over me because you're white and I'm not . You have privilege over me because you're straight and I'm not . However , I have privilege over your wife because I'm a man . I have privilege over , um , a darker person than me because I'm lighter than them . I have privilege for . So I , we live . We live in a first world country . I have privilege over people in third world countries where I'm from . I have so many privileges , and we can go down the list . Females have , uh , less privilege than males . Yeah , but then trans women have less privilege than females , yeah , but then um , black trans women have less privilege than white trans women . Every single person , doesn't matter how how much , how much down the uh food chain , let's say you are , there's going to be someone with less privilege , but they take it as the minute you say you have privilege or you don't know my story . Of course I don't know your story , but it doesn't take away , it doesn't negate the fact that you still have privilege .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , and as I suppose where you were hinting at there as well is intersectionality , exactly . My favorite fucking buzzword . I love it , you love that word . But if you are gay , black , trans , poor and from a third world country , a third world country , there are all these colliding factors that are intersections , intersections that are conspiring against you . Yes , living as freely as me . Yes , being a male , middle-class , white , and that's what the privilege that people don't understand ? Yeah .
Speaker 2The privilege is is that you will never get what that person has to go through , because you've never experienced it . So you have a specific idea of what the world actually is , which it's not . But if you've never been to a third world country , you will . You will think that it's normal to be able to go to school yep , it's just your thing . Whereas someone in the third world country will go . That's a fucking privilege for you to be able to go to school .
Speaker 1It's normal in some places to not have fucking food on the table .
Speaker 2Exactly , that was my next thing food . You think that that's a necessity , it's just a thing . Everyone has food . No , they don't , because some places don't have food . It's a fucking privilege Because some places don't have food . It's a fucking privilege , that's where the privilege comes from .
Speaker 1Like you have to sit there and think right . Right now it's Sunday afternoon , 1st of December . We're chilling out in a nice house in a nice suburb , with a nice drink in our hands , with a nice drink in our hand With an Apple laptop in my lap Right .
Speaker 1We have got nice cars outside , we've got all these nice things right . I'm straight , I'm white , you're gay , you're colored right , those two intersections are not really playing into what we're doing right now . Yes , okay . Winch sections are not really playing into what we're doing right now . Yes , okay , right now , sunday , the 1st of December , there are people in fucking Palestine who are still getting their heads blown off . Exactly , there are people in Palestine who are taking their last breath because they haven't got enough food .
Speaker 2There are people in I don't know Fucking anywhere in Africa , bro , anywhere in Africa't know fucking anywhere in africa , bro .
Speaker 1Anywhere in africa india fucking anywhere struggling with basic fucking shit because they can't get fucking water right , exactly , so there's all these things that we don't understand about each other yes we don't understand how somebody else lives , we , we just can't fathom it Like we cannot fathom it , and that is the privilege . That is privilege .
Speaker 2That's the privilege that people don't understand . That's the privilege Exactly .
Speaker 1But I think that , whether it comes to sex , whether it comes to anything , mm-hmm , we're all fucking humans . Yes , and instead of ascribing judgments to shit which is where this whole fucking like privilege argument comes up , because it's the privilege argument wouldn't be a thing if we didn't assign judgments . Yes , right , instead of assigning judgments , you should approach everything with curiosity , absolutely .
Speaker 2Absolutely Everything with curiosity . Curiosity whether that comes from I don't know . You not judging someone for me , just be a little bit curious . Hey , you know what ? What he's fisting about ? What do gay people do ? I have all these questions . This is the whole point of the episode asking questions , ask your questions . There's no actual harm in asking questions , because the more questions you ask , the more you're going to fucking learn yeah there's you on it's .
Speaker 2Knowledge is power , right ? I did not know about half the shit that we've discussed in the past few months of doing our episodes and I've learned so much from this podcast , right , and I'm sure you have whether that be from our interviews , it'll be from each other research , all these things . We fucking learn from it .
Speaker 1So be curious , ask questions , you fucking learn something fucking right , here's an interesting question I gotta ask , like okay , so I gotta ask two questions , okay
Exploring Relationship Dynamics and Sexual Preferences
Speaker 1. So context my wife went out for an afternoon out with the girls and she's like , hey , can you come pick me up , but at the same time , do you want to have one drink with me and then we'll go home ? I'm like cool , so get there and I sit down with a couple of the other girls , have a drink . And the question I got was is a relationship all about sex ? Because , like the girls know now that like I'm sexology and whatnot . So the question was is a relationship all about sex ?
Speaker 2Can I answer Go ? Have you heard that saying it is 10% when it's good and it's 90% when it's bad ? See , this is my thing . It's right , sex is very important To more . Some people it's more important , some people it's not . But Take away , if you and I Are in a relationship , right , yeah , I'm a very sexual person . I'm assuming you kind of but let's just say you weren't right .
Speaker 2Let's say you weren't yeah . Is it important ? The long and short of it is yes , because if I'm one six three times a week at least and you want six once a month , it's gonna be a disparity it's gonna be a problem because you wanted less than I wanted more , so are we compatible there ?
Speaker 2so it is important . Yeah , of course , if you and I both want sex every single day and we do it every single day , no problem , everyone's getting satisfied . It doesn't mean it's less important , less important , it's still important because we are . We got a good relationship , good relationship because , okay , we both understand that we both love sex and we have it all the time . Yeah , you just don't have the problem .
Speaker 1You don't have the problem with the communication or the disparity between the two but it's important .
Speaker 2It's important 100% , it's important .
Speaker 1My answer to it though . Oh what is ? Is a relationship all about sex ? My response was sex isn't all about sex .
Speaker 2Sex is not about sex but also what are people's definitions and understandings of sex ? That's right text could be to you . Sex could be cuddling and , I don't know , just frotting , for example . What ?
Speaker 1Did you say frosting , frotting , frotting , what's frotting ?
Speaker 2Jordan , I am so surprised . You do not know what that is , please enlighten me . I'm being curious . So not penetration into an orifice , however , putting your legs together and having someone fuck between your legs , oh , like dry humping . Is that what dry humping is ? I think so , if you put your legs together and I put my dick between your legs and just go for gold and it's not actually going in you anywhere .
Speaker 1That's frotting , that's frotting .
Speaker 2That's frotting , hmm .
Speaker 1Why did I say that to you ? Because , God , I don't want to ever have that .
Speaker 2That part would be really good for frotting . Right now he's pointing to the back of his knee .
Speaker 1What is that actually called though the back of someone's knee ?
Speaker 2I don't fucking know back of someone's knee ?
Speaker 1I don't fucking know . I'm gonna google it .
Speaker 2Google that shit right because , like there has to be a name for that the back of your knee . Hold on , let's see , while we're here , I'll ask it as we're here , so we can . We can all learn it together . All right , and can you ?
Speaker 1imagine asking somebody to do that . I would like to frot the back of your knee uh , the pop , pop little fossa .
Speaker 2The pop little fossa is a diamond shaped space behind the uh knee joint . But like I want , to know what's the .
Speaker 1I would like to front your Pupply tooth borser .
Speaker 2Look , let's just call it back of knee . I feel like everyone calls it the back of the knee and let's just say Sherman has figured out that he Might like that A lot . I feel like we have Fallen down a rabbit hole . I don't even know where we were . I think that where we were , I think that where we were was Questions . We're talking about questions , right .
Speaker 1Reddit questions . Now Give me one .
Speaker 2I feel like no , no , do you have any ? Because these are my ones , are all very basic . My ones are like did it really ? Did getting railed the first time hurt ?
Speaker 1Yes , did it did getting railed the first time hurt , yes , look how about .
Speaker 2I just go through mine quickly . Okay , I can fire . Did railing get ? Uh , did red getting rail first hurt the first time , absolutely it hurt . Lots of lube , slowly , one finger at a time . Yeah , massage , that should get it bigger . Then put your dick in it .
Speaker 1If you're small , great for you assholes take a while to open up exactly but yes , it did hurt after a while .
Speaker 2No , it doesn't hurt . Um , how common is it to not be into butt stuff ? What is it called ? I've taught you this if we have top , if we have bottom and we have verse , what do we call ? The one that doesn't like butt stuff side ? Yeah , boy , my boy's learning .
Speaker 1I'm so chuffed there's a two and a half percent from my exam .
Speaker 2I feel so privileged right now taught my boy something . So , yes , it's called being a side . Yeah , and it actually is . I think it's becoming a lot more prevalent within the gay community , because I think it was never a thing that anybody knew about and I feel like , as gay man , you just thought well , if I'm gay , I have to have anal sex . Yeah , yeah . Whereas now , because it's become a thing , there's a name for it , it's been coined that you know , there's a label . Yeah , that now people are identifying more with being a side , so they don't like butt stuff . You'd be surprised how many gay men are into being sides .
Speaker 1Yeah , being sides . Yeah , I think . I think a lot more people now are starting to become a lot more open and honest with actually what they're into and they're accepting of it and they're cool with it , because the more .
Speaker 2The thing is , you learn more about when people talk about it , right ? So if people come out and say , hey , hey , you know what I , you're gay , I'm gay , do you like giving ?
Speaker 2head or do you like having a dick in your ass ? They might go ? No , yeah , oh . But do you like giving head ? Or do you like having a dick in your ass , and they might go ? No , oh . But do you like putting dicks in asses ? No , oh . So you don't like either ? No , you don't . Oh , me too . Oh , cool , it's normal . Quote , unquote
Understanding Gay Sex Dynamics
Speaker 2normal . Then people start talking about it and go , oh , hold on , let's name this , I feel more comfortable , let's talk about more .
Speaker 1I can just imagine that conversation going down in a gay club . Hey , it's like do you want to take it ? No ? Do you Do you want to give it no ? What would you do ? I would like to frot your prepared suit with whatever the fuck , it's called the back of your fucking knee bitch and that's weird . I'll just go and buy that person over there another drink .
Speaker 2I'll go suck his dick . So that was one , this one . Oh god , do you clean out before sex or clean up after sex ? Now , just the way that was written gives me hives for both , because the idea that straight people think that gay people I think this is where it comes from that they have an issue with anal sex , because they assume that gay men are just fucking assholes that are not clean , and hey , if that's your , if that's your kink fucking power to you , I'm not into that shit .
Speaker 2There's people that are , though , and there's people that are , and that's cool , but the majority of gay people , or people that are having sex anally , you clean out before , yeah . Which brings me to one thing I was going to say is that , um , I often talk to you about the difference between straight and gay sex , right , yeah , and what's normalized and what's not normal , and what you might think is normal or I might think is normal . That's one of the things that I think a lot of straight people think that gay people don't . They don't understand that to be gay , you can't have impromptu sex all the time because you have to prep .
Speaker 2I need a good 45 minutes before a dude comes over , if I'm going to bottom .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2So you can't just be like , ooh , we're at a club , yeah , we've just had a , that , no , nothing happened that's .
Speaker 1That's really interesting . Sort of getting back to very started this conversation . Right , guys are straight . Guys are really into anal with their girls okay , cool . But when you think about it , the guys are going to encounter shit a lot more and they'll be fine like this . Is it because , when , when just straight people normally have anal sex , generally you get drunk and then you're tired and not one of them are preparing .
Speaker 2No , and I can tell you now because I've actually asked a lot of females when it comes to anal sex , we I've spoken about douching . They're like , oh , are you supposed to do that ? And they've all tried anal sex , but not one of them has douched before doing it because , they didn't know . It's the thing that you have to do . So if they're not , douching , their men are quite okay with the idea that . Look , it might be a bit dirty , yeah , and they're fine with it , yeah .
Speaker 1But let it might be a bit dirty . Yeah , and they're fine with it .
Speaker 2Yeah , but let two dudes do it gross , yeah , even though it's 10 times cleaner , even though the the um percentage of of times that it's going to happen to you where you're gonna fuck a dude and you're not gonna have shit on you is it is I can . I've been having sex for a very long time . Yeah , I can say it's happened to me five or six times . Okay , which is of . I'm not gonna tell you how many people I've had sex with , but , yeah , five to six , five , five or six is a very , very small number in comparison to my body count . But yeah , I just think it's so crazy that people don't understand that . Um , I have to .
Speaker 2I have shout out to one of my very close friends that actually Mentioned once I was talking about sex and I said something , and she literally turns to me and goes Wait , you clean before . And I looked at her and I was like Are you joking right now ? Do you think that we just had sex Without cleaning out ? And she's like well , yeah , I'm like you , honestly thought that we just had sex without cleaning out .
Speaker 2And she's like well , yeah , I'm like you , honestly thought that we just literally fucked you and she's like well , yeah , I was blown away , blown away , but yes , so just for the record , people , straight people out there that don't know , yeah , we douche , we clean . The male gay asshole is going to be one of the cleanest places on his body just look at that last question ?
Speaker 2um , oh , it's the one I already said how do you decide ? How do you decide whose penis goes into which hole ? For the record , I actually want to ask , answer this question . So this person wants to know how do you decide whose penis is going in where ? Best part about being gay , conversations talking Gay men are actually very open . You will ask at some point before you take your clothes off . You will figure out and you will ask if that person is a top or a bottom .
Speaker 1And there's different ways that . I suppose gay people have figured out how to ask that question , you know , because it's it's really really unsexy to be like okay , who's putting their cock in who ?
Speaker 2Exactly .
Speaker 1Right , yes , so , but there might be another way of like oh , you know , you're having a dance , or something like that .
Speaker 2I'd love to feel you in me tonight , or something like that you know , so there's .
Speaker 1there's more subtle ways . I think that gay people have come Exactly .
Speaker 2I want you in me tonight . I want you to just rail the fuck out of me . Yeah , daddy , with lube , lots of it , bitch , but yeah . So , with lube , lots of it , bitch , but yeah . So the thing is with gay men . It's something that you do have to have . Look , obviously there's been times when I'm sure there's been gaming that don't actually have the conversation they get , then realize they're two tops and go , oh fuck , what we're gonna do ? Yeah , get a pool , a little bottom and share them . But , um , yeah , generally gaming will always have that conversation or have some way of of vocalizing or communicating that they might be a top or a bottom .
Speaker 1And I think that's the difference between gay and straight . Yep , gay people , because they have to do so much self-reflection on what they like , what they don't like , how they need to have sex and all that sort of jazz . They've gone through that process . They can communicate better . They can communicate that better , whereas with straight people it's a given you put your dick in a pussy Exactly .
Speaker 2You don't have to ask the question you don't think on in a pussy , exactly . You don't have to answer the question .
Speaker 1Yeah right , you don't think on it , and if you don't want to , you don't ever need to think about it .
Speaker 2Exactly right , you can go through your life just putting your dick in a pussy and you're everyone's hero and then when you get to , let's just say it's a one-night stand , uh , guy picks up a girl , they go back . You don't have to have a conversation about what you like and what you're into before you can figure out , as it goes along , whereas with two gay men or two men , let's just say they're both tops . Fuck , what are we going to do ? You get that . You got like , yeah , you get . Obviously you can figure something out .
Speaker 2But it's a lot more frustrating if you have a top that just wants to fuck the absolute shit out of you . Yeah , and there's the common misconception that the big guy is the top and the little guy is the bottom . No , and you get there and you take him home and you're this big , burly man . You take him and you just want to fuck the shit out of him . And he's this small little , I don't know five foot four dude with the biggest cock in the world . He goes well for straight people , like you say , it's a given . It's a given Dick and pussy .
Speaker 1You hook up with a girl , you're putting your dick in her pussy , exactly .
Speaker 2There's no conversation that really makes a happy yeah .
Speaker 1Like it's you're only , as a straight guy , you only actually really need to start questioning your sexuality , and I mean sexuality in terms of things that you like .
Speaker 1You only really need to start questioning that when you encounter things that are a little bit different than normal and I think this is a beautiful thing about self-reflection when you start that process of it and start thinking about oh , why did I like that ? I did like that , why did I like that , what was it about that particular thing ? That then allows you to sort of start exploring more .
Speaker 1Yes , and becoming curious about your own sexuality more , yes , and becoming curious about your own sexuality and once you become curious about your own sexuality , like , things start opening up and it's fucking wonderful I feel like this episode has has gone around the roundabout , up and down the trees .
Speaker 2It has been the craziest one , but the takeaway is curiosity . I think it's curious . Yeah , be curious about everything , be curious about different people , be curious about different . The takeaway is curiosity .
Speaker 1I think it's curiosity . Be curious , yeah , be curious about everything Be curious about different people .
Speaker 2Be curious about different people's backgrounds , Be curious about different people's sexuality . Be curious about different kings . Be curious about yourself . Why do you maybe like certain things , try certain things and go ? Hey , I think I like that . I want to be curious and be like oh , you know what I want to read Jordan's book about . What is it ? A curious history of sex and read those .
Speaker 1See , that's fucking perfect . I didn't even realize that Curiosity . A curious history of sex .
Speaker 2This episode people is all about curiosity .
Speaker 1The word of the day Brought to you by curiosity Sesame Street . What is the word of the day brought to you by curiosity ?
Speaker 2what is the word of the day today ? Curiosity . Curiosity , be curious and also , okay , cool , hold on question . Speaking about curiosity , I just want to add this in there towards the end of this episode curious what ? So this is my thing about guys curious why can , why do ? Straight guys not . So this is my thing about guys Curious . Why can ? Why do straight guys not accept that ? Bless me , sorry that there is this Little piece Between straight and gay , between Even bi and straight , of curious that they don't understand that a guy can be curious yeah right but not gay .
Speaker 2A guy can be curious , but not bi because straight people don't understand fluidity 100 and the amount of times I fucking use that word , and the fucking straight people that I know look at me like I've got a third fucking eye .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean , they don't even understand that there's fluidity in their own sex . Straight sex yes , like , let's bring it down to porn and your wanking habits . Yes , right , let's bring it down to porn and your wanking habits . Yes , right , I do not watch the same porn now that I watched when I was 18 . Right , right , which means that my porn watching habits have changed , have changed , evolved , aka fluid . Yes , right , so therefore , right , I'm getting so excited . Fluid , yes , right . So therefore , right , I'm getting so excited
Sexual Fluidity and Identity Labels
Speaker 1.
Speaker 1Everybody's got this fluidity within their sexuality that changes over time . And it's pretty much what I've just said . Right , like , you might try something and go oh , I'm into that , I want to try a bit more , I want to try this , I want to try that . Blah , blah , blah , but fluidity . The other thing is when it comes to attraction , right , I'm into , like , if I sat there and said to type , I've got a type . Yeah , it's tan skin , dark hair , dark or green eyes yep , right and Right . And hourglass body shape Right , they're my things . If you hit those metrics , I'm going to look . Right , I just can't help myself . Yes , right , I'm going to look , but there are times when I've seen a blonde , blue-eyed girl and gone the fuck , yep .
Speaker 1So therefore , my attraction is fluid . There are times , like when I sat there and said seen the doctor the other day and went oh fuck , he's a real handsome dude . Yep , right . There is a times where my attraction .
Speaker 2This could not be fluid . This could not be more perfect , to my segue you have no idea how excited I am right now .
Speaker 2I'm like a little kid . I feel like a little chihuahua shaking with excitement . You actually are shaking . It's sort of weird . Okay , I heard something on a podcast I was listening to on the way here and I was like fuck , I need to bring this up . How am I going to bring this up ? You literally paved the way for me to bring this up . Yes , thank you , sir . So this dude , bob the drag , another drag race queen ? Yes , bob the Drag Queen .
Speaker 1Don't worry , bob the Builder , bob the Frog , now Bob the Drag Queen .
Speaker 2You'll get there , you'll understand , you'll love Bob the Drag Queen . So Bob said that being straight is a hoax , uh-huh , yeah . And I had it on a different podcast talking about which is actually another podcast with a gay guy and a straight guy . Um , go listen to them . They call uh , gay , non-gay , so good , um , but the idea , and at first I was like , oh , I don't know , do I agree with that or not ? But exactly what you're saying is that I believe that everybody is not everybody , but the majority of people .
Speaker 2Sexuality is fluid , absolutely . We try to find all these little tiny labels in between . So we've got gay to curious , I know , straight to curious . Curious to buy , buy to gay , yeah , do we not just look at that and realize that's a fucking scale and you can be anywhere in that fucking scale ? Yeah , and how does it make you less curious or less bi or more gay or more bi or more straight or less ? It's fluid , right , I could take a girl home tomorrow based on me just going . You know what she looks really masculine and I like that , and I might take her home . We might fuck . Does it make me any less gay ? No , does it make me bi ? No , because I still identify as a gay man because I'm attracted mainly to men .
Speaker 2So in this podcast , the gay guy asked the straight guy well , do you believe that ? And he's like oh , I don't know . And he's like well , do you believe that ? And he's like oh , I don't know . And he's like but would you if you saw a hot guy , would you ? You wouldn't fuck them , would you ? And he's like well , I wouldn't , I wouldn't completely rule it out . And I was like mind blown . So if you , jordan , I'm going to ask you would you say you are 100 , a straight man and that's it .
Speaker 2I don't think I could say I'm a hundred percent anything . Thank you . And that brings me to my point . Is that , yes , you could in your mind think you know I'm straight and you identify as straight because you've only ever been with girls , you've only ever thought about girls that way . You've never looked at the guy and thought I wanna suck his dick or fuck him or get fucked by him . But the fact that you can say I can't 100% say anything because I can't rule anything out , there could be the most quote unquote perfect situation .
Speaker 2That could get you to a point where you are maybe a little bit attracted to a guy , for whatever reason that might be . It might not be you want to fuck him or you want to get fucked by him , but there could be that little thing that goes oh , I'm a little bit distracted .
Speaker 1For example , right , this happened to a friend of mine , 100% straight , 100% straight . You look at this dude and you're like dude , you couldn't be any more straighter if you tried . Yes , like there's a ruler and the ruler is more bent than you , right . So anyway , dude goes to a party , takes and it's swingers party takes some MDMA . This is the episode we need to have , sorry , all right . Takes some MDMA in the orgy room . Yep , everything's going along fine . A little bit fluid , a little bit fluid . Take some poppers . Suddenly , my very straight friend no longer very straight , right , but it's a context . It was , by all accounts , a very hot , very horny night the MDMA is changing chemistry in there . The poppers are adding that change in chemistry again . Guy was very attractive , by all accounts , and quite feminine , so it was just like this is what happened .
Speaker 1It was a perfect collision , you know of things for this person to be able to move between those spaces right , is he gay ? No , he just- .
Speaker 2The situation the situation just allowed him to have sex with her and look , the difference is if that person , then again , what did I say about being gay ?
Speaker 1It's attraction .
Speaker 2Attraction and Identity , identity . So if that person decides that , you know what the next day goes , hold on . I've never felt this way . I want to explore this a little bit more . Yeah , that is up to them . And if at some point they say , you know what ? I think I identify as being bi because I want more of this , yeah , cool . But if that person tells you the story and then you go and you're one of those kind of guys , go oh bro , you fucking gay , because you , you , you had sex with a dude . He might have walked up the next day and gone . You know what ? That was an amazing experience . I don't ever want to do that again . Yeah , and he's done . It doesn't make him any less straight .
Speaker 1he just had an experience because problem is is that all too often we define ourselves , define ourselves by the labels that we give ourselves 100 and we live our lives and we modify our behaviors to suit that label rather than what we actually feel Absolutely . And we change our behaviors based on that because largely we're worried about what other people are going to think about us changing our labels , and that is petrifying because we define ourselves in boxes .
Speaker 2I say that is the perfect moment to leave that . Yeah , let's do it .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I just want to leave you one little thing Pink straight's a hoax Over and out . That was a great episode , Jordan .
Speaker 1Really was Over and out . Bye-bye , bye and that's
Embracing Curiosity With Compassion
Speaker 1a wrap . We've tackled the fun , the serious and the downright cringy questions . If there's one takeaway , though , it's this Curiosity is great and that's a wrap . We've tackled the fun , the serious and the downright cringy questions . If there's one takeaway , though , it's this Curiosity is great , but context and compassion matter even more . Asking the right questions is how we grow , but reflecting on why we're asking them is just as important . If you loved this episode , or even if you're side-eyeing us just a little bit , make sure to hit subscribe and leave us a review . You can follow the conversation on Instagram , tiktok or X , is it now ? Anyways , whatever it is , and don't forget to join our Reddit community for more unfiltered takes . If you've got a question or an idea for a future episode , slide into our DMs or send us an email . We'd love to hear from you . Until next time , stay curious , stay kind , over and out .
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