Super Sex
This is an 18+ podcast!
Welcome to Supersex—the podcast where you get to dive into all things sex and relationships without it ever getting boring!
Ever wondered how talking about sex could actually be fun? Well, here’s where you find out. We’ve got a queer guy and a straight dude ready to dish out the tea, share the cringey moments, and keep it as real (and hilarious) as it gets.
Every episode is packed with the good stuff—the latest research, wild stories, and a ton of laughs, so you get to learn about sex and relationships without feeling like you're in a classroom.
Curious about what’s new in sexual health? Need advice on navigating the dating jungle? Or maybe you just wanna hear about someone else’s relationship fails to feel better about your own? We got you!
From first dates to kink, we're breaking down the science and making it all relatable to you so you can implement the good stuff into your sex life and get rid of the bad.
Expect personal stories, guest experts, and, of course, a bunch of jokes. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even rethink a few things about love and intimacy.
So tune in, because you deserve to have fun while figuring out this whole sex and relationship thing!
Super Sex
Episode 45: Tarsh Wilson on Raising Girls
What happens when we're too uncomfortable to talk with girls about their bodies? Women's health nurse and sexologist Tarsh Wilson joins the podcast with a wake-up call for parents and anyone who loves a young girl growing up in today's hypersexual world.
The statistics are alarming - girls are experiencing their sexual debut as young as 13-14, yet many parents still believe these conversations can wait. Tarsh and Jordan explore why this approach leaves girls vulnerable to everything from preventable health conditions to dangerous sexual encounters. Through candid stories from Tarsh's gynecological practice and personal experiences, they break down why using proper terminology (it's vulva, not "flower"!), normalising period talk, and creating early "nests of safety" around these conversations isn't just good parenting - it could save lives.
Dark humour lightens this deeply important topic as they discuss everything from vulva puppets to the misconceptions about tampon sizes. Particularly compelling is their focus on fathers raising daughters, and how men often lack the resources to navigate these discussions despite desperately wanting to support their girls. This episode goes beyond awkward birds-and-bees talks to show how building honest communication from early childhood builds the foundation for healthier, safer young women.
Ready to raise girls who understand their bodies, recognise their autonomy, and have the language to advocate for themselves? This episode is your starting point. Share it with a parent, uncle, aunt or caregiver who wants to do better for the girls they love.
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Don't forget to check out the podcast at:
https://www.jordanwalkerrse.com/podcast-1
or see what Jordan is up to teaching all things sex ed at:
www.youwontlearnthisatschool.com
Check Tarsh's published work out at:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0897189725000539
All right, folks, welcome back to Super Sex, and today I am pumped because joining me is the brilliant, no-nonsense Tash Wilson. She's a female health nurse, sexologist and author, and she'll be co-hosting with me for a few episodes while Sherman's off being fabulous elsewhere. Today we're diving into something super important, super personal and, let's be honest, often super awkward raising girls in this wild, hypersexual, confusing world. We get into why it's vital to have open, honest, early conversations with girls about sex bodies, boundaries and more, and why pretending they're too young or innocent to talk about it is actually putting them at risk. This episode is for parents, carers, aunties, uncles and anyone who loves a young girl and wants to raise her to be confident, safe and strong. So if you've ever thought I don't even know where to start, buckle up, we've got you. Hey, to all the straights, gays and nays, welcome to Supersex, the podcast where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality, sex and more. I'm Sheldon and I'm Jordan, two friends, one straight, one gay, taking on all things sex.
Speaker 1:All right, guys. We have a very special guest in the house, tash Wilson. She's here and she's going to be my new co-host for about a month or so because Sherman the Dick is away. But yeah, welcome to the pod.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me on the pod. I'm so excited to be a co-host.
Speaker 1:It's great. I think ever since we met, I've just sat there and thought you are my type of crazy.
Speaker 2:I'm not everybody's type of crazy, but I'm glad that I am yours. Oh, you're definitely mine.
Speaker 1:And so, to sort of put into a bit of context, tash and I met this year in a sexual reproductive health class and basically I sit on one side of the room, tash sits on the other side of the room, yet we shout across the room at each other. We don't want to the room at each other over the top of the lecture.
Speaker 2:We don't want to sit next to each other. The lecturer's in the middle of us debating everything and literally I man-shame Jordan and he just female-shames me.
Speaker 1:It's great. We just throw shit at each other.
Speaker 2:You know what it makes such a fucking hard topic fairly bearable, which is nice, it's nice, it actually is nice, and I think we get a few laughs as well.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, yeah, sometimes.
Speaker 2:I think people are like why are we in the fucking middle? Why don't they just sit next to each other?
Speaker 1:You know what I think? All the people online are just like fucking hell. I wish we could be there, because it's great banter.
Speaker 2:Well, we did have that one girl that joined us because she was online for Block Week and she was like she just wanted to see everyone's face-to-face, because she's like, who do you fight with in every class? I'm like, oh, you will meet him.
Speaker 1:It's funny, the person that we had lecturing last week. She gave a lecture and I was like, oh, that was great. And she's like, oh, you must be that guy. And I'm like, yes, I'm that guy. And she's like, yeah, I know you.
Speaker 2:I've heard about you, yeah, because I worked with the lecturer and I'm like, oh, there's this guy. We just, man, shame him. And she's like excellent.
Speaker 1:You know what that course does. Enough fucking man shaming.
Speaker 3:I swear to.
Speaker 1:God, it's so hard. Like that course made me feel the icks for the first time ever as a guy, like when they were doing the whole thing about ED and when there was like that picture with the penis that was like filleted open and I was fascinated because I don't see penises at work.
Speaker 2:So I'm just like what the fuck is this? Yeah, see that's it.
Speaker 1:Okay. Talk about your work, because that is fucking fascinating. Yes, so I'm a women's health. See, that's it. Okay. Talk about your work, because that is fucking fascinating.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I'm a women's health nurse, mostly gynecology. I deal with pre-cancer in the vulva and the cervix and the vaginal wall as well. Yeah, it can get very sad and also frustrated and angry, not at the women themselves, but at society and their lack of education around those topics where these things can be sometimes preventable. And why aren't we speaking more about these and why is there so much stigma and shame around the female anatomy?
Speaker 1:And it fucking is a massive amount of that.
Speaker 2:Like. Everyone says penis, penis, penis, but no one says vulva you can't do either on Facebook, no, or Instagram apparently no. With my vulva shoes I nearly got in trouble, you've got vulva shoes. I've got the vulva Crocs, so they're from this lady who did Flip Through my Flaps I'm pretty sure the book's called it's all different vulvas and she does little gibbets on Crocs. I'm a Croc fan and they're vulvas on my Crocs now.
Speaker 1:Wow, yes, has anybody done a cock on your Croc.
Speaker 2:No, but I do have cock, socks, cock socks, yeah, I do for Men's Mental Health. So I don't always man shame. So for Men's Mental Health Week.
Speaker 1:You wear cocks on your socks.
Speaker 2:I wear my penis socks and I wear my testicle socks, so literally I'm going to wear my vulva shoes. So then, when I'm wearing my penis socks, it's like the penis is going into the vulva. Ooh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've thought about this too much, haven't you?
Speaker 2:I have. I was like, yes, I get the perfect socks to wear now to be sexually inappropriate at work.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I wish I could wear cocks in my socks to my job, it's not appropriate around 14-year-old kids.
Speaker 2:No, no.
Speaker 1:Well, if you do sex education, it could be oh my God, I brought in my little crocheted penis, envolver, to teach some kids the other day. They were talking about dicks and a group of boys.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:And they were just getting everything wrong and there was so much shame around it and they were giggling.
Speaker 2:I don't know why people giggle.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I brought my crocheted thing and I threw it around to them and they got to handle it. I have a puppet a vulva puppet.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have to show you that one one day. Yeah, she literally talks Is her?
Speaker 1:name Fanny.
Speaker 2:No, her name's Wanda. Wanda's Adventures and like people take her on their like holidays and literally take photos of her like on their caravan and stuff. I've taken her to my holidays and she's been to Melbourne with me.
Speaker 1:How do you approach people about that? Hey, can you just take my fanny on your holiday with you?
Speaker 2:No, well, we're all working in gynecology. So they're like, yeah, I'll take Wanda with me. So you're all that special brand of weird she has a wall dedicated in our tea room with all her photos of her adventures.
Speaker 1:Wanda's wall of adventures.
Speaker 2:It is Literally Wanda's wall of adventures it is. Oh wow, that's what it's like. It's got like this little the adventures of Wanda, little sign that's all her travelling. Fucking love it. I use her for teaching as well, though, to do self-collection and stuff like that, for cervical cancer checks, and I just like, and I get like the new nurses to hold her while I show them.
Speaker 3:And one of them was holding her tight.
Speaker 2:I was like girl, she's more loose than that, she's been busy and like, oh, it's just great, it's a conversation breaker as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because, like basically as soon as you introduce a little bit of humour, people are just like.
Speaker 2:you know what I can relate and deal to this. I took her to the Women's Health Expo last year. Oh cool, and I was just out there with my vulva puppet.
Speaker 1:Some women were like ew, that's disgusting and embarrassing. Some women were like, oh my God, that's so cool, Can I have?
Speaker 2:a look at your puppet At a women's health expo, women's expo.
Speaker 1:People were shamed out about a puppet.
Speaker 2:Yes, You'd be surprised. So we had a set up for gynecology. We had, like the vulva book to tell you about the vulvas. We had period books and everything like that. Some parents would bring their kids over and be like this is the clitoris. If you know your boyfriend in the future, if he can't find it, he's not worth it. Blah, blah, blah. I was like this mum rocks, like she's telling her 10-year-old this this is amazing. But then you also had those parents that walked past and said, oh don't go to that table, it's disgusting and their childs were like between the ages of 7 and 10.
Speaker 2:And I'm like this is the prime time to tell them about themselves. Fuck yeah, I'm like it's not a disgusting area. See, it can be, let's be realistic?
Speaker 1:It can be, but that's the fun of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the interesting part of it. There's no such thing as normal when it comes to a vulva. Everyone's vulvas are different.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And they need to learn this, because that's where the shame and the lack of confidence comes into play as well.
Speaker 1:All right, that's a perfect segue, and well done on that. By the way, your first round as a co-host that was fucking fantastic.
Speaker 2:You're like she's crazy. I love it.
Speaker 1:She is crazy. I love her. So that's a perfect segue into what we're talking about today. Yes, and we're talking about raising girls.
Speaker 2:Raising women, raising girls, girls to become women.
Speaker 1:And because I think since that adolescence show came out there's been a lot of.
Speaker 2:I actually haven't seen it. You haven't seen it, no.
Speaker 1:Okay, homework tonight. Binge watch Eight Hours of Adolescence.
Speaker 2:I know, but I've been watching Ghost Adventures because he's my hall pass.
Speaker 1:Ghost.
Speaker 2:Adventures yeah. So it's not so much I like the TV show, I just like the host, you're just getting off looking at this tweet. I'm like if I ever go to America and he's single, I'm going to go to his museum until I find him.
Speaker 1:Consent will not be needed.
Speaker 2:I'll just show him my vulva shoes and hope he likes what he sees.
Speaker 1:I'll bring Wanda as well, and then he can get the best of all the worlds.
Speaker 2:Literally like my housemate's daughter just knows him as my boyfriend.
Speaker 1:I've never, met the guy Tash is looking at the boyfriend again, so everyone at work is just like ew he's your whole past.
Speaker 2:You could do so much better.
Speaker 1:Oh, now I've got to.
Speaker 2:You have to Google him after.
Speaker 1:I've got to Google him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do. Let's just tag him into the podcast, just so he knows.
Speaker 1:Just so you know, Tash wants to speak to you.
Speaker 2:You've been actually mentioned in the podcast in Australia because he's from America.
Speaker 1:so even better, See, he'd be like Australian people, we love Australian people because they've got funny, weird accents and shit like that, like they're probably just getting chased around by crocodiles. I mean, yeah, no, it's just a snapping fanny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, literally it is Kangaroos deliver our mail that's what they actually thought when I went to America once. Really yeah.
Speaker 1:God, they're so backwards.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:It makes sense why they got Donald Trump in, if they actually think that kangaroos are delivering mail.
Speaker 3:It's like a next podcast.
Speaker 1:No, I mean for the most part, though. Like Americans, are this weird sort of polarising thing right? Yes, like so many, most of them are fucking awesome, just beautiful amazing people.
Speaker 2:Yes, we have got a beautiful one at uni. Yeah, we do.
Speaker 1:Nikki, she's great, and then there are just some people that are so. I mean, you get that in every place, though, but so backwards it's just like do you actually really breathe by yourself?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That's the question I think most of the time.
Speaker 2:How do you remember to do that?
Speaker 1:Oh, nuts, but yeah. So getting back to where I was going, yes, adolescence has brought out this massive thing about raising boys yes, right, and this whole thing about Andrew Tate and all this toxic masculinity bullshit that he brings. There is like this weird fucking thing now where it's like everybody's half focused on boys but nobody's really focusing on girls why. Why? Why is nobody sitting there talking about girls?
Speaker 2:Well, when you think about it, even in the history, the girls in the past and stuff like that was shamed upon like we couldn't work. We couldn't vote.
Speaker 2:You know we had to stay at home and man the house and look after the kids and we weren't to have jobs and stuff like that, and then I think it comes back to more that as well. So males are always looked at for females. So actually I went to a networking event for women in business, co-hosted from the undergrads at university, and they all do women like they're actually in the business degrees. I was the only one that wasn't in a business degree and I'm like I feel so out of place.
Speaker 1:You just walk up and wander and be like hey.
Speaker 2:I want to run my own business. I thought, hey, let's join this place. And they're actually lawyers and doing commerce and stuff. I'm like, yeah, cool. And they're like, well, what is everyone studying? I'm like, uh-oh, sexology I've become the new favourite to talk to. Yeah, oh, I bet.
Speaker 2:So when it comes to that as well, the discussions at that networking were more males in CEO and executive levels of employment and even when you look at like women's hospitals and stuff like that, majority of the executives are males. Wow, wow, yeah. So I think that's where a lot of conversations come about male this, male that, and the females are unfortunately pushed aside.
Speaker 1:That is so fucked up, like because.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong, I love our execs. They're amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, like you know, I wouldn't replace them at all because they are amazing. But then you've got to also look at like, okay, where do the? And we do have female execs don't get me wrong, but that's true. Like you look at the banks, all the lenders and stuff the majority are men. Yeah, yeah, because, like, we've always just had this society that pushes men to the top and women just deal with what they get In quotation marks. Men are the alpha.
Speaker 1:And that fucks women up and girls up in perpetuity really. Like I mean, they're just always having to deal and fight against that shit and that thing of you know. Like women have to step one step higher, one step harder, one step further to make it to the same level that a guy does.
Speaker 2:And don't get me wrong, I've got friends that are males that I love dearly and I can see why. That is also the case with the females that they have interacted with or, like you know, had children with and stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But then what are those women doing for their daughters and what are those women like showing to everybody else?
Speaker 1:Yeah that's right.
Speaker 2:Like you know, women start to bring down, women, not empower. And then you know there's the whole like jealousy, there's the whole competition.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And I think that's a lot to do with it as well. We're too bitchy.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you know what Guys are as well.
Speaker 2:I don't have a penis? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we do in a subtle sort of way, like we will sort of label it as I'm giving this person shit, but it's a veiled sort of mask of you know, yeah, whereas ours is like you're a bitchy, you're a caddy, yeah. But like there's that and I suppose you're right is that all feeds back down to our kids because they see it and we're modelling the behaviour of that.
Speaker 2:So you go back to the adolescent show. I haven't seen it, but you've said it's based on a male a boy yeah. So would there be the same retaliation if it was a female?
Speaker 1:With that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Ooh okay, yeah, see, I haven't seen it, but that's the thing.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting thing, like I'm just sitting there thinking now, like the general gist of that was that kid's father fucked up, the parenting was fucked and that's why that kid ended up like that. But society failed this man okay, yeah, so chuck dug.
Speaker 2:A female in that, a girl in that position that's it.
Speaker 1:but if you put a female in that position and suddenly you're like, oh, oh, that bitch is fucked up, yeah. No matter what society did, that bitch is fucked up.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 3:I've changed your thought haven't I?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that. Anyone that's watched the Adolescence. If you take that boy out and put a girl there, does that change the whole perspective?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does. It sort of works the same with porn as well, Like if you watch a girl getting gang banged, you know and then watch a guy.
Speaker 2:It sort of changes it for you, and that's true, because I wouldn't be interested in the guy. Exactly there you go.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, I suppose substituting works in most ways it does.
Speaker 3:Okay this has gone from adolescence to porn Adolescence is when you discover porn right.
Speaker 2:Adolescence is when you discover porn, right. This is true. There is a link. My brain works in random ways, but it does work and porn is not real. No, no.
Speaker 1:Unless it's made at home yeah, by you and your partner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I don't want to see.
Speaker 1:Bad lighting is shaky camera work. It's like Michael J Fox shot it.
Speaker 2:You got like those little selfie sticks that you get from like.
Speaker 1:Always makes you look like weird and elongated or super fat. There's no in between.
Speaker 2:Well, that would be good for the penis right, make it look longer. Oh see, yeah that's it.
Speaker 1:Keep your hands on the ankle. Oh now if we could design an app that just made your dick look bigger.
Speaker 2:But see, it's not the. This is what I said in class once and everyone looked at me like, oh, I said it's not the size that matters, it's how he uses his tongue.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, I tend to agree with that, and then I had a little bit of backlash. You know what, when that lecturer gave that talk and was talking about like penis size and all that sort of stuff, and she's like, oh you know, it's not about the size that matters. And I was like actually, for 27% of women it actually does.
Speaker 2:Which surprised me. I like to say that I'm not part of that 27%.
Speaker 1:And it doesn't matter if you are, because what I have since learned is that the vagina, the clitoris and the cervix and uterus are all. Is it innervated by different nerve pathways?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And they're all connected to different parts of your brain. Yes, now, each one of those pathways could be stronger or weaker than the last.
Speaker 2:And your orgasm through your uterus as well.
Speaker 1:That's right, and those contractions, from what I understand, are a lot stronger from the uterus.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right and which is linked to the vagal nerve pathway, but that is actually stimulated more through larger sizes, which I reckon is actually a what's that fucking word? An evolutionary trait, but that's a different topic.
Speaker 2:That is like a whole different topic.
Speaker 1:Okay, and that's all my smarts got out now. I've nothing less. Do you talk?
Speaker 2:I don't want all the smarts to me no, so um adolescence? Yes and um, I think, because I started a website men raising women um, I did take it down because it was costing too much to keep up, unfortunately. Yeah, but a lot of men did say that they liked the website. So, I'm thinking of trying to Google what's cheaper?
Speaker 1:Oh, you should totally do it. Yeah. So men raising women specifically. Though why are we talking on that?
Speaker 2:So I do have a few friends that are single dads, yeah, and some of them the partners aren't involved in the care. Some of them they are, yeah, sometimes they have them week on, week off, and through that whole week things can change dramatically for your daughter. And that's why I wanted and, like you know, widows unfortunately happen, like you know, females pass away through childbirth, blah, blah, blah. So I wanted to start. I was like hey guys have nothing out there to how to raise a daughter.
Speaker 1:No, fuck all.
Speaker 2:No, nothing. There's nothing, and for them to have information in one spot is very hard. They've got to Google it. They've got to go to different websites. My goal with this website was everything was placed basic, as basic as it can be.
Speaker 1:Because guys need that.
Speaker 2:Yep, all in a one-stop shop.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Perfect. But, also make the website basic enough that their daughters could also read it as well, starting from the age yeah.
Speaker 1:And then they can have conversations around those things.
Speaker 2:And navigate the website together.
Speaker 1:That was my whole idea behind it.
Speaker 2:I love it yeah so eventually I would like to start workshops for dads and daughters. It doesn't need to be a single dad. It could be a dad that just wants to get to know his daughter more and help his daughter more, even if the mum's present, because I think that's a big deal as well.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, yes, I mean because I think there's this I am a daddy's girl. You are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like well, thank goodness I grew up when I did, because in my kindergarten book I wrote I wanted to be a boy so I could go to work with dad, because I thought only boys could be mechanics.
Speaker 3:Only boys could do that yeah, ah, okay.
Speaker 2:So that's why I wrote that I do not want to be a boy. I do be a boy. I do love my vulva.
Speaker 1:See now, yeah, put that in 2025 and suddenly trying to give me a penis. They literally would have well start on hormones. No, I just want to see my dad more fuck off I was a tomboy growing up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some part of me still a tomboy, but I do like to be a girly girl. But, um, having that relationship in the dad, it would have been nice to be able to have those conversations with my dad yes it wasn't that he didn't want those conversations, I just didn't feel comfortable and I don't know if he knew how to approach that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's more like yeah, trying to build that like connection between father and daughter and making it less uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Because I think that's what a lot of guys actually have a bit of a thing with right. It's like I don't know women. I can't deal with women all that well. I don't know their anatomy, I don't know how their brains work. I don't know this. So because I don't know, I'm not going to go there at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the mum's thing to do.
Speaker 1:That's yeah. And they lay it all back on the mum and they just sort of exclude themselves and then they become how do I say it? Like hover.
Speaker 2:They just hover above relationships yeah or it must be that time of the month again and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they never really build those relationships and get deeper into it because they just out of like, not knowing they've gone okay. Well, there's two pathways here. I can either dive in and educate myself or I can just pull away completely, and most guys will pull away completely because there aren't those resources there for guys to fucking learn about this stuff.
Speaker 2:So it would be amazing, like yeah, to eventually do, you know, every now and again, a workshop and both the dads and the daughters can come, or just the dads and I can go through the dads how to approach different topics with their daughters and blah, blah, blah, and how to explain things to them. And then if it's like a combined workshop, it'll be even better because I could be able to approach both at the same time to make them feel comfortable in that one workshop.
Speaker 1:See, and that's a super powerful thing as well to be able to get both the dad and the daughter there and chatting about these things, because you're sort of taking the heat a little bit and the dad and the daughter can just sit there and go.
Speaker 1:What do you think to this? Or they can have a bit of a giggle about, like some of the stuff that you're talking about, and it breaks it down for them to a point where they're just like, yeah, driving home in their car and be like, oh my God, did you hear her say that?
Speaker 1:But that's where the real learning would sort of come for them and that like the real benefits from it, because they're in the car together digesting what they've just seen, so I am hoping to get another website up and running, one that's not going to be so costly. Yeah, because they are fucking expensive now yeah they are.
Speaker 2:It was like $200 or something for every six months and then, as you know, uni is taking my life because I'm full-time uni full-time work because I'm not psychotic. So I don't have that time to actually update the website all the time so.
Speaker 2:I didn't feel like it was going to benefit anybody. So I do want to work on that more, um, and I'm hoping I will have more time once I've worked out what I'm doing with my life. But, um, yeah, so it's that barrier and that disconnection between the daughter and the dad through the puberty stages, because how many men think contraception is just because they're having sex to stop a baby?
Speaker 1:Well, that's it right.
Speaker 2:It's not so with your period. A normal period is less than 80 mils of blood. If it's over 80 mils of blood through that period.
Speaker 2:A normal period is less than 80 mils of blood. If it's over 80 mils of blood through that period, it's actually classified as a heavy period. And when you think about it, if you're bleeding more than what you're supposed to, you're getting lower in iron, then you're getting fatigued and then you're not concentrating and then you don't want to do anything and you stay in bed and they're like oh she's lazy, she's staying in bed.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, have you actually asked her how heavy is your period? Is it regular?
Speaker 3:Yeah, do I actually need to take you to a GP?
Speaker 2:Yeah, get a contraception that's recommended by the GP, depending on like you know what's wrong, if they've got any other comorbidities and you could actually see a difference. So I would get personal here. I've got heavy periods so I've got the Mirena to stop the bleed. I've never been so energetic in my life because I've always been so fatigued and I thought Mirena before starting in gynaecology. I thought marinas were only used for contraception.
Speaker 3:But they're not.
Speaker 2:Now they're not, so I actually don't have a bleed. So now I've got, you know, my iron levels are okay, I don't need any iron infusions. I'm waking up, I'm not fatigued.
Speaker 3:You're good.
Speaker 2:Well, I am because I work and do uni, because you basically work for 19 hours a day. Yeah and four hours late, but that's what a contribution can be. And then also when you look at iron levels and fatigue can lead into depression?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when you even extrapolate even further, you have a look at the impact of that on education.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean and friendships and social groups and all that sort of stuff, right yeah, like I mean, if it's iron levels have got a direct link to depression. They're going to have a direct link to social, direct social impact, which is then going to reinforce the depression, which then reinforces the social links and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your daughter's got period pain, heavy periods, period pain too painful to go out. Lack of social life, lack of, you know, stimulation.
Speaker 1:Depression, depression Sets in, and then I suppose that then would have a knock-on effect, to like if the kid's too tired or if they're too depressed, not doing homework. They're not going to be doing their homework they're not going to be doing well at school. So realistically, because we're not having these conversations and we're not having them well, that kid's whole life could be impacted.
Speaker 2:Going forward, Exactly, and it's not just that as well, like if they are so. As I told you before, I've done a little bit of research behind the age of first sexual encounter due purely because of my job looking at cervical screening, yeah, and it used to be around 16, 17 for females.
Speaker 2:It's actually dropped down to about 14. Fuck, like 13, 14. And you get your periods anywhere between the ages of 9 and 16. So, when you think about it, if you don't have this relationship with your daughter, for her to say, hey, I'm having sex, they're going to have to go. Number one lack of education on the contraception in the school is just as bad.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's woeful, Everything's like no sex, no sex no sex, it is woeful.
Speaker 2:So they don't know that there's contraception out there. Condoms can't protect you from everything.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:So you know, then they go down that route of crap, I'm pregnant, I need an abortion. They open up to an abortion at a 13-year-old, 14-year-old, because they didn't have that, you know, relationship with their parents to actually openly speak up, fuck yeah. But then you've also got, if they haven't had their Gardasil for cervical cancer prevention HPV so then you've got to look at okay.
Speaker 2:so if my daughter's had sex before her Gardasil she actually needs to have and it's unprotected, she'll need to have her, perhaps me. They're called CSTs now, two years after sexual debut, but they don't teach you that it's 25. It takes five to ten years for cervical cancer to develop. By the time they come to get their first pap smear they could have HPV-influenced cervical cancer or vulval cancer or vaginal cancer. I'm going to the extreme here because I've seen it come through.
Speaker 2:But it's the big things like that that you know you've got to look at the bigger picture.
Speaker 1:And realistically, when we're talking about this stuff now I'm just thinking the bigger picture really is allowing people to have that conversation, to educate themselves enough to have that conversation, because that cuts out what you're dealing with, that pointy end where young women are coming in with cervical cancer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then you ask them when's your first sexual debut? And it was actually before you know anything Before.
Speaker 3:I could get the vaccine or anything like that, or anything like that as well.
Speaker 2:And also, as I said to you, like back when I went to school, I remember very clearly there was a night that the school hosted and they put it on the projector and I sat there with mum and it was all about puberty and male puberty, female puberty and STIs and contraception. They don't do that anymore.
Speaker 1:That was a fairly progressive school, because I don't know any schools that would do that New South.
Speaker 2:Wales represent. But no, they don't even do that anymore at the school that I went to.
Speaker 1:And that is such a fucking crying shame because we're seeing all of these fucked up sexual things happening because of a lack of willingness to talk about it and a lack of education around it. Like you just mentioned there that the age of sexual debut is going right down from 16 to 13 and 14, I think you said right yeah. The data shows us.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know what penis was back then, when I was 13 or 14.
Speaker 1:I was too invested in vice girls.
Speaker 2:They definitely knew what dick was let me tell you I didn't know what I was singing, but I was just singing the lyrics.
Speaker 1:Stop right now and give me fucking more. But yeah, like the research is telling us and the data is telling us that the more conversations and the more education around sexual issues, the later the sexual debut, the healthier the sex around it, the healthier the sexual health of the person.
Speaker 2:I'd like to know how many daughters would feel comfortable going to their dad and going hey dad, I've got my period. It's really heavy and painful, not very fucking many. Can you take me to the GP?
Speaker 1:Not very many, but that comes from a guy's thing Like. Guys are weirdly like oh, I've cut my finger off with an axe. Oh yeah, I'll just wrap it up with a bit of lecky tape.
Speaker 2:I'll be fine.
Speaker 1:Like why would you need?
Speaker 2:to go to. But there's memes out there and the dad's like oh, if my daughter dates before 21,. Blah, blah, blah. Okay what's that say she's not going to you and say, hey, dad.
Speaker 1:I've just had sex? No way, I think I've got something. See, and this is it right, like we need to start chatting to our daughters as though they're our sons, because women and guys are sexual beings in their own right and it's going to happen Of course it's going to fucking happen because, as much as we like to deny it, women are active participants in sex and it's the stigma as well Like so.
Speaker 2:Obviously I work a lot with vulvas, vaginas and cervixes and it's a big pet hate when women call their vulvas a vagina. But that lays a difference. If someone comes in and says I have an itchy vagina, it means they've got itchy upstairs, like inside, which means to me STI. You know something like that. If they've got an itchy vulva, that can lead to other diseases of the vulva which are out there, which some of them aren't curable, some of them, if not maintained because there's no cure. There is treatment and maintenance. It's just cream once a week, twice a week depending on how bad it is. That can prevent you from getting vulva cancer. Like you know, regular checkups, they're the difference. Itchy vulva and an itchy vagina is the difference between you know a lifelong disease, but we don't know that.
Speaker 1:And it's a terminology thing that people aren't getting told now.
Speaker 2:No, so there is such thing as called lichen sclerosis, which can cause vulva cancer and it's treated by steroids and maintained by steroids. It can come around roughly around seven eight-year-olds and the symptoms are itchiness and it's misdiagnosed as thrush and like nappy rash or heat rash. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:So you get around then and then when you hit puberty it like dormants and then it comes back when you're like pre-menopause menopause because it's all hormone-based autoimmune and a part of me is thinking like how many people? So I did a webinar online and there was a few nurses that deal with paediatrics that didn't know this.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they're thinking to themselves how many girls actually come into ED with itchy vulvas and they just think it's like, you know, just because they're not wiping properly or you know they're wiping back to front, blah blah. But I would be very interested to see the numbers after they've done puberty to see if that's actually the lichen sclerosis that's been dormant through their teenage years. You know what I mean. So, it's just like but that's what I'm trying to say like we need to teach the correct anatomy. It's not a flower no, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not a cookie it's not a cookie, it's a vulva yes, yes yes and it's and this is what I've been harping on, and you need to stay.
Speaker 2:state your vulva is normal. There's so many vulva plasties going out there because they see on porn that they want the Barbie, the Barbie vulva Fucking free those labias, free the flaps. Like that's what I said in my blog week.
Speaker 3:Like everyone, flaps, free the flaps.
Speaker 2:Free the flaps. But there's no such thing as normal. Everyone is different. And I go out there and I'm always like, look at the labia library. Google labia library not in the airport, where I looked at it, in the Qantas lounge. I was doing my assignment in the Qantas lounge and I looked up Labia Library and this guy's behind me. I'm like, oh, he's going to have a look and I'm going to have all these vulvas.
Speaker 1:Just going to expand that, drag it to the full screen.
Speaker 2:All these vulvas are on my screen and people are walking past. I didn't sit in a corner either.
Speaker 1:I'm like way out there in the middle of Pontus Lounge, you would never sit in the corner, tash. Nobody puts Tash in the corner, no exactly and just yeah looking at that.
Speaker 2:if you show your daughter that, they'll know that that's their norm.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you even need to do that with boys as well.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, because there is the wall of vaginas and there's a wall of cocks.
Speaker 2:You said the wall of vaginas. It's vulvas. I do.
Speaker 1:Yes, see, it's that ingrained. But here's the thing If the vagina is the actual inside, like the whole.
Speaker 2:Like you know this, we did it in class, I know.
Speaker 3:I failed that topic? No, I never.
Speaker 1:I failed the penis topic. It's okay. But this is a thing Like it's so ingrained in me that I've just said that Straight off the top of my head Without even thinking.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:And I'm on A fucking sex podcast Talking about sex.
Speaker 2:And you're doing sexology.
Speaker 1:And I'm a sexologist and I'm a sex educator, I should be the one who's sitting there going fucking vulva. So it's understandable that parents are sitting there going oh, I fucked up with the terminology, Yep, but the difference is is that?
Speaker 2:Misdiagnosis.
Speaker 1:We're misdiagnosing, but we're also correcting each other.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right and we're picking each other up on that, whereas I don't necessarily know if a lot of parents are doing that. No, Because they don't know. No.
Speaker 2:And that brings me back to the whole. Even mothers aren't teaching their daughters the correct anatomy, but also find it shameful, like back when I did the women's like we just spoke about the women's expo- yeah.
Speaker 2:Like these are women walking around with their daughters. I had it wasn't even there, weren't even like out there brochures. The brochures were about incontinence, pelvic floor muscles, the vulva and periods. Because I wanted to really narrow down, like if there were younger generations there or people with disabilities, to talk to them about their periods and incontinence, blah, blah, blah. And literally that's when I said women would go to their daughters. Oh, it's the dirty table, you don't go there. Or no, don't go, you don't need that.
Speaker 1:Yet and I'm looking at these girls, I'm like you're seven.
Speaker 2:eight Periods can start anywhere from nine years old.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Like, let's start. What is the correct age to tell your daughters you're going to get a period?
Speaker 1:See, and this is what I wanted to jump into right, because there are some people out there who think we'll have that conversation when it comes to it.
Speaker 2:That's too late.
Speaker 1:It's too late.
Speaker 2:The horse is bolted right On my website I wrote about the periods for men to tell their daughters and I said in a little bracket you need to know before because you can make a little givey bag to her for her first period that has pads, tampons and talking about tampons, super tampons aren't because they've got a big vagina. It's the flow. It is the flow.
Speaker 1:I just imagine some like six foot ten guy standing in the aisle of the shop talking to his like five-year-old daughter Do you have a massive vagina or just a little one? I mean, which one am I getting here?
Speaker 2:It's more like when you go out for your wife. You're like I've got a big dick, I'm going to get a super tampon. She might only need the sports, little regular ones, just like that. I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that you said that. Just imagine, like these football-sized tampons, she's got a huge cup. Now let's give her that, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, my cock looks that size. No, it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 1:Just imagine guys measuring their tampons up against their dicks.
Speaker 2:Oh, fuck that would be ridiculous, that's, if I see you at the shops doing them, I know what Jordan's doing.
Speaker 1:I would get a job as a fucking checkout chick just to do that. I'm just like ooh tiny, oh, I see.
Speaker 2:No, okay, so that's not it. I can't do it.
Speaker 1:How did you do that? How did you just stop laughing so quick?
Speaker 2:I work in healthcare. We can stop laughing at very inappropriate.
Speaker 3:Oh, you can mask it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we also laugh at inappropriate times, as well. So, yeah, we're not allowed to laugh, so you've got that as well. But then it's also you've got different pads. So you've got your pads with your wins, your pads without your wins. But there's also your period undies.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which are amazing. And then you've also got your cups, and these are the things that you need to talk to your daughter about. What do you prefer? Because she's using tampons doesn't mean she's having sex. I used tampons because pads made me feel like I was fucking wearing a diaper.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I was self-conscious that people would see my pad, in my tights and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's more. What does your daughter feel comfortable wearing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you can't even have that conversation until you've got a little bit of knowledge around it. Yeah, right, so which means that guys need to find that information somewhere.
Speaker 2:A dad needs to be able to sit down with his daughter and say, okay, you're going to bleed. These are the different products. There are books out there. There are resources about the different products. Hopefully my website once it's up and running again and it tells you about the different things that are out there to use, like your cups, you sterilise them in boiling water. I would suggest maybe getting a different saucepan. I used to live alone and just used whatever. So my friends are like, did we come up with a?
Speaker 1:pasta. Anybody up for tomato soup?
Speaker 2:No, you wash it first and then you just sterilise it in the pot.
Speaker 1:But now you're talking to a guy. We wouldn't do that shit. I mean, what's the point?
Speaker 2:But then, like I knew what pot it was and now that I've got a roommate, I'm like shit, I better remove the pot from the kitchen because she might start cooking in it.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to put a shout out to my mother-in-law right now. You listen to that, jana.
Speaker 2:You wash the pans out after every time you use it you do, because you don't know if you've had a little period cup in there or something else in my mother-in-law's case, but whatever I should tell you about that off air I'm very intrigued now she's hilarious ol Oliver. No, but it's true. So get a little one from Kmart, just a little saucepan, and write period cup on it somewhere. But that's the little things that you need to actually be able to feel comfortable talking to your daughter about.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And if it's a heavy flow over more than 80 mils, if it's painful. That's not normal, so you'll be able to catch like endometriosis, and they've got massive funds now and more research going into endometriosis. I was diagnosed with it only last year Wow, as a 34 year old.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:So like I've lived with really heavy periods where I couldn't even remove myself from the shower, yes. And I was vomiting, I was feeling faint. I was vomiting, I was feeling faint, I was irregular. I thought that was normal.
Speaker 1:And that was the endometriosis that was endometriosis.
Speaker 2:I've also got other infertility issues. We could go on days about them. Wow. But with all that, and that's why I've got the Mirena now, I'm very open about myself because and it's helped me with my period- yeah. But if your daughter's experiencing what I went through, like I couldn't go to school, I couldn't go to uni, I couldn't function on a daily basis once the period came yeah. Got a Mirena fine.
Speaker 1:See and this and then endometriosis.
Speaker 2:Early diagnosis can assist for fertility in the future.
Speaker 1:And this comes down to like, if you are a single dad, just being aware of, hey, a painful period is not necessarily a normal one.
Speaker 3:And if you are bleeding heavily just take your daughter to a fucking doctor.
Speaker 1:Hey babe, let's go to the GP let's go and have a chat about that. And the other thing is, as a dad, you need to take an active role in finding a good GP.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because there are some fucking shockers out there. There are.
Speaker 2:And you'll be able to find good ones, I think, if you Google as well, and a lot of them say if they've got, because doctors can also get different qualifications like we can after uni and postgrads, and you can find ones that specialise in women's care, gynaecology and fertility, and they will be the best ones for your daughters to go to, because they actually did a specialisation around that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and don't just assume that because they're a female, they know everything Like no, I had a female doctor. There are some guys that are amazing.
Speaker 2:My female doctor is back in New South Wales. I'm not going to say the name, not my main one, but I just went to a random one because I just wanted a sick note but Googled my symptoms.
Speaker 3:In front of you.
Speaker 2:And that's a female. So, like you said, females aren't always the best doctors to go to. You need to find one that specialises in the anatomy of a female. No, yeah, she Googled in front of me and I'm like I could have done that. My symptoms say I have cancer, like all symptoms do.
Speaker 1:When you Google, they really do, yeah, but my symptoms were because of endometriosis, See, and all of that could have been like you could potentially have been. I mean, I don't know the situation but, you potentially could have been getting the treatment for that a lot sooner if those signs had been recognised and whatnot.
Speaker 2:And I didn't get the Mirena because I wasn't taught like my parents taught me as much as they could with their knowledge, but I wasn't taught the Mirena could be used to assist with ceasing my bleeding, to help with my periods, I thought it was just to stop, a baby.
Speaker 1:And that's what most people think contraception is just about stopping a baby. But it's not, because basically what contraception does is it alters the hormones to a point where regular functioning can come in Exactly. And that's how, like it's, the hormonal changes are actually what is preventing the pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Mirena was the best thing for me, but other people it might just be the pill, it might just be like something else. So it just depends on your situation.
Speaker 1:And some people can't be on certain medications like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you've got, like you know, blood clots and stuff you can't be on the pill. Yeah, so there's other alternatives and I know a lot of people are like, oh, I don't like hormone, hormonal stuff, but there's stuff out there. Go talk to your doctor and actually sit down with your daughter and say, okay, we've just been to the doctor. These are the options and if you know the basics about each contraception, you'll be able I've had sex.
Speaker 1:And that's Without him going, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh my fucking God, yes.
Speaker 1:Creating that safe space is the key. Because, as guys because we're not having that conversation at all or rarely we have no opportunity to build that safe space. Because that safe space, because that safe space, I always equate it to being a nest. Right, you don't suddenly just have a nest and it's just created. You bring stick by stick and you build and you intertwine, and build and intertwine and build and intertwine and suddenly that nest becomes solid and safe.
Speaker 1:And you can't do that Like. The way that we build that safe space as parents, as people, is, by little by little, having those conversations. I mean, fuck, it's like why, when you go to a therapist, you don't really get into the heart of the issue for the most part, until like session six or seven.
Speaker 2:No, I scared off my therapist. I don't even have one anymore. I can totally imagine that.
Speaker 1:Therapist is just rocking in the corner.
Speaker 2:She needs therapy now.
Speaker 1:She's locked in Arkham Asylum or something like that Probably.
Speaker 3:Let's be honest, I think.
Speaker 2:I scared her away too much.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:But it's not even just like hey Dad, I've had sex. It's more like hey Dad, I've had sex. It's more like hey Dad, I'm 17 now I'm thinking about having sex. Can we please talk about? You know what are the options out there for me? Hey, she might want to be groomed.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like you know down there, not like groomed as a kid, she might want to be groomed by a pedophile.
Speaker 1:You don't know what's going on with that kid.
Speaker 2:I'm just like oh, I just said probably the wrong word. She might want to be cleaned more, like, you know, groomed down there. So then you could actually say to her oh, let's do laser, and that's another thing. If you're going to shave and you want to be bare down there, a new razor. If you're going to shave and you want to be bare down there, a new razor. If you're going to shave every time, that's a big thing, as well.
Speaker 2:Why? Because it can also, like the follicles can, get infected and it's bad for the vulva. Yep, also them, like all your like soaps and stuff don't wear. You don't use soaps down there. You don't use soaps okay u. Uv. I use UV. I'm not promoting UV, but I love it.
Speaker 1:You got an extra $10 from them this afternoon. Well done, yes, thank you.
Speaker 2:No. So if you need to use for your self-conscious, if you can't just use water, you've got to use something that's non-fragrant, soap-free, and that's your UV, your dermis, stuff like that. I don't want to degrade Van Fresh, but it says it fixes the pH. Your vagina and your vulva fixes its own pH If you mess with that pH it's not going to fix it Because the vagina is a magical fucking self-cleaning. We are so magical downstairs.
Speaker 1:It is absolutely remarkable how the vagina works, how the vulva works, how everything just massively perfectly works.
Speaker 2:Most of the time. You guys have to worship us, worship our vulvas.
Speaker 1:Fucking know we do All vulvas, all vulvas, not just mine. I'm pointing it out right now.
Speaker 3:She's going to worship it this one. I can't no all of them.
Speaker 2:No, they are and they're self-cleaning. So no douching babe, you don't need to douche, fuck. No, that messes up with the pH itself and it gets rid of all the good bacteria. And if you mess with your pH, how is it supposed to self-regulate once it? Learns one thing it can't.
Speaker 1:And I suppose it's like there's this whole thing now where girls think that their vaginas and vulvas need to smell like fucking rose petals or some shit like that.
Speaker 2:As long as they don't smell funky, it's fine.
Speaker 1:It's not the case Like that natural smell is actually a fucking turn on for most people. I didn't know that Absolutely. Oh wow For guys. Here I am just going to be like airing it out to all the single guys Pretty much, but like we don't want to smell femme fresh, no, we want to smell human right, and that's the thing that I think a lot of girls get hung up on.
Speaker 2:I only just got TikTok. I know I've gone down that path Late to the party it's terrible.
Speaker 1:I'm very late to the party, Literally like. I've gone down that path Late to the party.
Speaker 3:It's terrible, I'm very late to the party.
Speaker 1:Literally like a couple of times I don't have it. I don't even know how to work it. No.
Speaker 2:I'm still learning. I'm probably going to delete it. Let's be honest, like all my dating apps just go after a week Delete, delete and they're like the new, like on the reels of the Facebook. See, my technology, the reels of the Facebook and all my friends at work are like, oh my God I've just said millennial the reels of the Facebook. And they're like the pineapple makes your vagina smell better. I'm like bullshit.
Speaker 1:Definitely not putting it in there. It doesn't make it smell better.
Speaker 2:No, no, oh, I can tell you so many stories of people putting things up there.
Speaker 1:I've just realised you're a nurse and we haven't even gone into gory stories.
Speaker 2:We've got to do five minutes at the end for your best one. Okay, okay, yes, we will. And like that surprises me, because you're saying that you guys like just the natural smell.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Abso-fucking-lutely. It's intoxicating.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:It's intoxicating, like it's actually really good, because there is a certain amount of pheromones that come out from that right and they obviously work on our brain chemistry. The vulva vagina. Chemistry works on our chemistry and it all works right, Because that's the way that human beings are designed. They were never meant to be operated on with like these interventions such as suns and fanfresh.
Speaker 2:Well, mums probably don't know this, but why are dads going out buying fanfresh?
Speaker 1:Exactly Because they don't know any better. No, right, because they don't know any better. And they think that any smell equates to that. But they also think I'm generalising here equates to that, but they also think I'm generalising here. But they also think that women need to be clean in both a physical hygiene point and a moral point.
Speaker 2:So I'm a female. Before I studied in gynaecology. I knew nothing about gynaecology which is pretty sad being a nurse as well, because you don't do enough topics on it and I just remember, like when I used to go to my boyfriend's house after a day I would go into the bathroom and use like your hand soap and wash down there and stuff like that. Your face is just like, oh my God.
Speaker 1:Hopefully not the mandarin and mint.
Speaker 2:No, that's a good chilly story, though. I thought I washed my hands properly, but obviously I didn't.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I know.
Speaker 2:I had a burning for JJ for a while.
Speaker 1:You know what I've done? Similar, okay, cool. So I'm not the only one, not with my vagina, but Okay, no.
Speaker 2:And it's things like that, like if your daughter comes up to you and goes hey, dad, I'm thinking about having sex, I need like, what should I do? Tell her you don't need to use your soaps down there, you don't need to like, you know just you know, clean with warm water. You know your QV. If you feel like you need like non-soap, no fragrance, but also like, okay, make sure your daughter's not allergic to latex, would be another one.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck yeah, like you know, be, like okay, is she allergic to latex?
Speaker 2:We don't know this. We'll have to, like you know they're like okay, is she allergic to latex? We don't know this. We'll have to, like you know, test it out, because you know you don't want her to put, you know, a rubber on her boyfriend and the next minute she's got a frigging swollen JJ.
Speaker 1:And, for heaven's sake, teach your daughter how to put a condom on.
Speaker 2:Yes, you don't do that in school. Well, no, right it's all on the TV shows in quotation marks, but it's not done in real life.
Speaker 1:No, it's not, and the problem?
Speaker 2:with it right and not on a banana.
Speaker 1:This is the other point, right Like get a dildo, a dildo, a proper dildo With little testicles down the bottom Right, not maybe the size that you've got on your fucking table.
Speaker 2:What's wrong with the Hulk?
Speaker 3:True.
Speaker 1:But a condom would fit on it and a regular condom would fit on that.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, because there's the other misconception Everybody thinks that if you've got a penis over the size of five inches that you need a magnum condom.
Speaker 2:That's big for me, no.
Speaker 1:Right, a regular sized condom will fit on any size dick. There is no dick that is fucking out there that will not take a regular sized condom. I'll prove that to you by fucking putting one over the top of my head, please don't. And I have done that to students in the past, okay, where I've literally got a condom and put it over the top of my head and then you blow it up like a unicorn I did.
Speaker 1:It was great, because then I let it fly off the top of my head as well, like a little balloon it was fantastic, that's great.
Speaker 2:That would be one of your classes now.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah you totally should, but the thing is, with it, right. If you teach a girl how to put a condom on right, they will sit there and look at it and when they're actually in that moment, they can recognise whether the guy's put it on correctly or not, which is then going to be, you know, helping in understanding whether that condom is actually going to be effective, because if you put it on the wrong way, it's going to come off.
Speaker 2:And then if I had the confidence and knew my dad was open to these conversations, I could be like, okay, I want to have sex, it's going to be my first time, and he could explain like it can be painful.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe we should go out and buy you a little dilator or something, just so it's not going to be as painful.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That would have been amazing. Also teach that sex shouldn't be too painful.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:And when to say stop. Yes, safe words Huge, like you could be more, and then talk about STIs, stds, what to look out for. If your boyfriend has this on his penis, maybe don't go there, get him tested. He might have had sex with somebody else, but it's also, you know, it shouldn't hurt as much and it should like oh, let's go out and get you some condoms, let's get you some lube, and it's more like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:And how would you feel pretty Like my first time I was in the back of a fucking car. Oh yeah, like it wasn't pretty at all.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And how would your daughter like? You know, if I could have this conversation with my dad, it would be like great, cool, okay, so where would you feel most comfortable doing it?
Speaker 1:I think as well. We've got this weird thing where we sort of give the boys a good slap in the back and say go and enjoy yourself, right, but that implies that the boy's going to get something fun out of that and pleasurable out of that yeah, where's our pleasure? And that's it. Talk to a girl about pleasure, sit there and say like it's not just about not getting an STI, it's not just about it, not feeling great.
Speaker 1:It's about you enjoying it. It's about you connecting with another human being. But you can't just sit there and wait until a kid approaches you to say that, because, guaranteed, if they've approached you, they've been thinking about it for three years.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:So you need to get three years ahead of the game and they're getting porn more and more. Exposed to porn, younger and younger as well.
Speaker 1:Right Pop quiz what's the average age for first-time porn exposure? She?
Speaker 2:said this and I wasn't listening. I don't listen to you much at class Shit.
Speaker 1:You sound like my wife.
Speaker 2:This is why we got along very well, didn't you say eight?
Speaker 1:Oh close.
Speaker 2:Ten, oh, ten, ten yeah.
Speaker 1:So the average age by ten years of age, 50% of kids have seen some form of porn.
Speaker 2:And see. As a parent, you probably want to be included and be able to have a conversation with your kids when you know they've watched porn.
Speaker 1:Oh, even before. Yeah, like I was equated to your kid's about to get a licence at 16, right, yeah. They're going to get their driver's licence.
Speaker 2:They're going to drive to that boyfriend's house and pick him up, go to the industrial area and fuck him in the back of the car.
Speaker 1:Thanks for telling me about your first time. That's all right, but when, like, kids are going to get their driver's license at 16, when do you start talking to them about driving a car From the age of like 10, 11,? You've got them in your lap, teaching them. This is a gear stick. This is the indicators, this is window wipers. I'll let you sit on my knee while we drive around like some empty paddock or like a closed road or something like that. You don't just sit there, not Perth City yep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely not freeway like I did. You don't just sit there and expect the kid to go. All right, I'm 16 now. I know all the ropes without even being told.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:Fucking here we go right, Because your parents have been giving you that example and modelling everything that needs to happen for years and years and years and, like we've said, porn isn't real.
Speaker 2:No, it's not so if your kids are watching it at the age of 10, they're going to go in there thinking that's how it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1:If it's not moderated by some proper conversation.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1:Right, like you should be able to build that safe space enough where your kid can come home and say, hey, I've seen something today, I want to have a chat about it. Yeah, and you're like, okay, well, what did you see? Oh well, I've seen somebody take three arms in their backside.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, my eyes just go. Whoa it happens. I seen somebody take three arms in their backside. Okay, well, my eyes, whoa.
Speaker 1:It happens.
Speaker 2:I can't even do a shit without like. To be like oh, it hurts my butthole, but people can do it. Yeah, but um yeah.
Speaker 1:So like kid comes home says that it's like okay, cool, right, some people can't do that Most. Some people can't do that, most people can't. Some people might find it pleasurable, some people won't, you know, and that's okay. But the reality is, is that 99? Of people can't do that right, so do not expect it and just having a simple conversation like that, because you've built that nest of safety around sex and sexuality can start, so periods start nine.
Speaker 2:That safety net can start at the age of like seven, eight, when you start explaining what a period is because that opens up, like you said, that one piece of the nest.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, Even before that right.
Speaker 2:When someone asks, like when a kid asks you where do babies come from? I don't like the ones that are like oh, it comes out of your belly button or this dog drops it off.
Speaker 3:Because that's implanting shame and stigma yes.
Speaker 2:But if they're asking and they've got the curiosity, tell them the truth.
Speaker 1:They deserve the knowledge.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that's what they're searching for.
Speaker 2:They're searching for the knowledge right, and then if you lie to them in the future when they find out the truth, if they're not going to trust you.
Speaker 1:Exactly. So you've just taken five sticks out of your nest rather than putting one back in. But like it's even the same with my wife Obviously she's from a non-sex ed sexology background and we've got a four-year-old son and she's like, oh you know, he came in while I was changing the tampon. I'm like fucking great, yeah, because he's seeing that. And he goes oh, what are you doing?
Speaker 2:Oh, well, you know what do I do? Plugging it up.
Speaker 1:Tell him you know, every month mummy bleeds and she needs to put a tampon in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I had a bleeding nose, I used to put them on my nose the regular ones, not the super ones.
Speaker 1:Not because you've got huge nose holes.
Speaker 2:I don't have these huge nose holes, huge nose holes. I don't have these huge nose holes.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so fucking messed up. I love it.
Speaker 2:Just imagine you walking around like a bull with these massive nose holes With my septum piercing as well Go full out bull.
Speaker 1:How did that happen? Well, actually I can just take massive tampons in there.
Speaker 2:So your wife isn't lying to your son, and that's great because she's building that confidence and that relationship.
Speaker 1:And it's just become a normalised thing, right, and because your kid would come to you if they've got an earache and be like hey, my ear hurts, you know, and there's no shame and stigma around that because it's an ear, right. But would they necessarily do the same if their penis hurt or their vulva hurt? If the answer is no to that, you need to do some more work.
Speaker 1:Yep, I agree, and that's you know, it's just simply about us as parents. These kids have never been asked to be born. No, we brought them into this world and we have to do the fucking work to make their experience better than ours.
Speaker 2:Well, I can keep thinking about, after you said, that was the consent for nappy change video that you did.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, oh my God, oh man. I mean and on that, I think a lot of people get turned off by this idea that, like there's this whole fucking woke what do they call it woke lefty side of things sitting there saying like, oh you know, people are telling us now that we've got to ask our kids for consent to change a nappy. No, you've got to fucking ask your kid that, because you're trying to normalize the fact that their bodies are theirs and that people need to ask for consent in order to interact with it. Because if you're expecting to have a 17, 18-year-old girl who's got the ability to turn around and say, no, this is my body, this is my safe place and I don't want what's about to happen here, you need to start that conversation a long fucking time before, not necessarily when they're in nappies.
Speaker 1:No, but very fucking young.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what we're trying to go for. You know, it's like I have a big thing of if I'm not a big hugger, but when I do hug someone I say to him can I hug you?
Speaker 1:yes, yeah, yeah and it's. It's just normalizing consent and it's normalizing the fact that, as a female, you can say yeah, yes or no yeah, and getting them used to that. Because if they don't have the language there, when the crunch time comes, when they've got some horny 17 or 18-year-old drunk guy trying to fucking crack onto them, they're not going to have the language or the skills to be able to sit there and say no. I don't feel comfortable with that.
Speaker 2:No, and a lot of girls will probably be like, oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Because they feel.
Speaker 2:Obliged.
Speaker 1:Obliged, and if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you've got to be like you said. You've got to build the nest step by step.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fucking right you do yeah.
Speaker 2:Fucking right you do Like if like a four-year-old. One of my friends has a four-year-old like, this is ages ago, not four anymore.
Speaker 1:It's not Peter Pan. No, same age forever. No, no, no, damn. Now I'm like ooh, peter.
Speaker 2:Pan and they did say, hey, what's that Like? Because they've seen, and I sat there and I explained, like you know, this is Evolva, this is where babies come from, like they'll come from out of here.
Speaker 2:Blah, blah, blah. That must hurt. Well, yeah, it does, babe. Yeah. But now that he's older, how I see him interact with his girlfriend is amazing, because he knows that and we've brought him up around periods and open discussions and stuff and he actually checks on his girlfriend. Oh, it's her time of the month. I'm going to buy her a chocolate.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and it's that awareness as well. So it's not just educating your daughters, it's educating your sons as well, that this is what happens to the female body.
Speaker 1:Because that creates empathy, and empathy is a fucking great thing within a relationship. Oh yeah, and that will bring stability and happiness to your son, as well as to somebody else's daughter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but then also for your daughter to know more about her cycle as well can assist with her future relationships.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, massively.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Massively. I mean yeah, we could literally go on. You know what We'll do. Another one on this. Yeah, I think there's so much more to be talked about.
Speaker 2:You've got two sexology students.
Speaker 1:We're just going to be like ooh, oh fucking nuts, but like not even sexology students, like sexual health professionals, like you're working with female health, I'm working in our sex ed space. So like, yes, while we're students, we are professionals.
Speaker 2:I think there needs to be more sex ed at schools as well. Oh, yeah, like we had a girl start in nursing who went to an all-girls school who didn't know about gyny stuff, yeah, and that scares me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because sex ed we teach. She knew a bit because of her parents.
Speaker 2:But it scares me how lack there is, the lack of education there is in schools.
Speaker 1:Because you can teach enough where they can keep themselves out of danger, but not enough where they can. They keep abstinence but they don't teach you. Everyone's going to fucking have sex once in their life.
Speaker 2:If they don't fair enough, your choice. But reality is majority of people will. Yeah, and we need to teach them while they grow in their brains.
Speaker 1:And we equated to mental health. We teach kids how to be proactive in their mental health how to look after their mental health. How to do things that bring some pleasure in order to keep their health right, if you've got a headache, masturbate it fucking works right, but the thing is, being proactive in your sexuality also increases your health.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:And we are sitting there saying do all the things that go contrary to your health in sexuality, but do everything pro for your health in mental health and every other facet of your life, but as soon as it comes to sexuality you do everything that's bad for you Pretty much, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2:If you have sex, you die, yeah, yeah, or you get pregnant and then you die.
Speaker 1:Yeah and heavens forbid you should ever sit there and say, oh, sex can actually help you develop a relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and actually help you develop a relationship. Yeah, and bring you pleasure. But what scares me as well is working like with abortions and stuff as well, is you get those? Parents that are supportive, oh yeah, but then you get the parents that I wish you told me blah, blah, blah or you're having sex. So if your daughter feels comfortable to approach you, if she is in that dilemma, at least she can approach you without feeling the nerves.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And without making herself worked up, sick, mentally unwell, suicidal. Which all dovetails further in yes, so if I had that comfortability, I could go to my dad and be like, sit down and be like. I know we spoke about safe sex, but this has actually happened. Dad, what do I do?
Speaker 1:And the thing is with that as well is it could take so long for a young girl to get her courage up to say that. And it's too late to abort, and it's too late, and then her entire life is now guided by that decision and that inability to communicate.
Speaker 2:So, like you said, building that nest. It all started with the period talk. Hey Dad. You know we talked about periods, we know we talked about contraception, blah, blah, blah, but this has happened, unfortunately. What do I do and I know it would be hard as a dad to like breathe in You've got to fucking do it now. But you've got to do it and you've got to just put all your thoughts in the back of your head and be like, okay, let's research this together.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's all it takes. Yeah, that's all it takes. All right, let's wrap this up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we could go on forever. We can yes.
Speaker 1:Tell me one fucking hilarious thing that somebody's come and stubbed in their vagina. Please enlighten me, can.
Speaker 2:I give two stories.
Speaker 1:Okay, quick.
Speaker 2:Okay, quick, cool. So one was when I was like doing my paramedicine.
Speaker 1:Yes, because you were a paramedic before Well yes, a paramedic student.
Speaker 2:I'm working on the road as a little trainee.
Speaker 1:Not in the back of some ambulance, I see, oh, yes.
Speaker 2:It's rocking up and down, no, so this guy put a torch up his butthole and it was on and facing out.
Speaker 1:Enlightening, I know. See what I did there.
Speaker 2:I wanted to see if the light shined down at his eyes. I just wanted all the lights off to see if it shined down at his eyes. It didn't. They didn't let us turn off. All the lights off to see if it shines out of your eyes Did it.
Speaker 2:They didn't let us turn off all the lights. Fuck, I know. Okay, the next one was so Just imagine, just turn the lights off. I have so many stories. I don't know whether it's the little plastic baby or the garlic. What one do you want to know? You're like I want to know both. Yes, so one lady thought she was pregnant, so unfortunately mentally ill, and put a baby plastic baby up her woo-ha and said that was her baby and we needed to do an ultrasound to look at her baby and that she needed to deliver the baby. Hang on.
Speaker 2:You know the little plastic ones that you get for like baby showers and stuff.
Speaker 1:Talk to me in terms of like centimetres.
Speaker 2:Probably the size of your thumb, like the little plastic ones.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was thinking like a fucking baby born or something. Shut that up, man. That bitch has definitely been shopping for super tampons.
Speaker 2:So background is I was an emergency mental health nurse as well. So I have lots of stories like a guy depositing money swallowing money because he thought when he deposited it through the toilet he was depositing money into his bank account in Australia Of course I mean logical conclusion. So I've had money coming out of buttholes, I've had tortures in buttholes, I've had little babies the size of a thumb in vaginas and I've had garlic-induced tampons in vaginas. To quote get rid of thrush, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:So clearly not a vampire that's using that.
Speaker 2:No. But if it's a vampire like Damon Salvatore on the Vampire Diaries, I'll be like get rid of all the garlic babe.
Speaker 1:Do whatever you will.
Speaker 2:But yeah no.
Speaker 1:Oh, good Lord, I think we need like a random nurse story every time that you're on the pod.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I do have my dad jokes as well. Bring those. I love a good dad joke.
Speaker 1:I could end with on the pod, okay, okay, I do have my dad jokes as well. Oh, bring those. I love a good dad joke often I could end with a dad joke Go.
Speaker 2:What does a gynecologist and a deaf person have in common? I don't know. They both read lips.
Speaker 1:Oh, fucking hell. Oh, that's just as bad as the one that a student told me the other day he goes. What does a stripper and butter have in common? Oh my God, what they're both spread for bread.
Speaker 2:We have to end on a dad joke.
Speaker 1:Oh my God. And on that note, we're out of here. Thanks so much for listening. Thank you, we'll catch you next week. Bye, bye, bye. Huge thanks to Tash for joining me on today's episode and don't worry, she's not done yet. We've got more brilliant convos coming your way with her at the mic.
Speaker 1:If today hit home for you and you want to explore your own sexuality, your relationship dynamics, or just need real talk that doesn't come from a dodgy forum, head to jordanwalkerrsecom. I work with adults across all walks of life and I promise it's way less awkward than you think. And if you're raising kids or teens and thinking, holy hell, they are not getting what they need from school, we've got your back. Head over to youwon'tlearnthisatschoolcom for programs, workshops and education that actually prepares young people for the real world of relationships and sexuality. You'll also find us on Instagram and YouTube. Just search for SuperSexPodcast for more conversations, behind-the-scenes bits and maybe a few spicy reels to send to your partner or bestie. Until next time, keep talking, keep listening and remember raising empowered kids starts with raising empowered adults. See you next time.
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