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Super Sex
This is an 18+ podcast!
Welcome to Supersex—the podcast where you get to dive into all things sex and relationships without it ever getting boring!
Ever wondered how talking about sex could actually be fun? Well, here’s where you find out. We’ve got a queer guy and a straight dude ready to dish out the tea, share the cringey moments, and keep it as real (and hilarious) as it gets.
Every episode is packed with the good stuff—the latest research, wild stories, and a ton of laughs, so you get to learn about sex and relationships without feeling like you're in a classroom.
Curious about what’s new in sexual health? Need advice on navigating the dating jungle? Or maybe you just wanna hear about someone else’s relationship fails to feel better about your own? We got you!
From first dates to kink, we're breaking down the science and making it all relatable to you so you can implement the good stuff into your sex life and get rid of the bad.
Expect personal stories, guest experts, and, of course, a bunch of jokes. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even rethink a few things about love and intimacy.
So tune in, because you deserve to have fun while figuring out this whole sex and relationship thing!
Super Sex
Episode 47: Sex Store Secrets with Nikki Kelly
Imagine walking into a sex store and finding not just toys, but a whole education on pleasure waiting for you. That's the world Nikki Kelly invites us into in this eye-opening conversation about what really happens behind the counter at adult stores.
Nikki isn't your typical sex educator—she's a spreadsheet-wielding analyst who approaches pleasure with both passion and precision. Her detailed breakdowns of product categories, from bullet vibrators to air pulse technology, transform how we understand these tools. We learn why some toys work better than others, how marketing language often misleads consumers, and what questions actually matter when selecting products for yourself or a partner.
The conversation shatters common myths about sex shops and their clientele. Contrary to what many assume, women make up the majority of customers in many stores, often shopping in groups and turning the experience into a normalized social activity. Meanwhile, we explore why men frequently shop online instead, highlighting how shame and discomfort still shape our relationship with pleasure.
Perhaps most enlightening is the discussion about size preferences and what women actually purchase. Research and sales data tell a story vastly different from what pop culture suggests, offering a reality check that could transform how partners communicate about pleasure. Throughout, Nikki emphasizes that sex toys aren't competitors to human connection but collaborative tools that enhance intimacy when approached without ego or insecurity.
Whether you're curious about the latest innovations in pleasure technology, wondering what questions to ask before making a purchase, or simply want to understand your own or your partner's body better, this conversation offers frank, funny, and deeply informative insights that will change how you think about pleasure forever.
Check out Nikkis podcast here...
https://open.spotify.com/show/7q5Tqe5CkhW84nHJsZg6nD?si=jCsiONjtRgmaT_O0GTEOsA
or here...
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-according-to-nikki/id1729280826
and check out her Instagram here...
https://www.instagram.com/life.accordingtonikki?igsh=MXZvOXg3dnZob3c5Mw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
https://www.instagram.com/thevirginsexeducator?igsh=cTRjYW9hM3VjNG52&utm_source=qr
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Check us out on Instagram and YouTube now!
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Or Drop us an email @
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Don't forget to check out the podcast at:
https://www.jordanwalkerrse.com/podcast-1
or see what Jordan is up to teaching all things sex ed at:
www.youwontlearnthisatschool.com
All right, friends, buckle up. Today we're going behind the counter. Have you ever walked into a sex store and felt a little awkward, like maybe you're about to be judged or you somehow stumbled into the adult version of Narnia? Well, today we're busting the myths wide open. We are joined by the incredible Nikki Kelly, a sex educator who spent years working in sex stores, helping people of all genders and experiences discover tools for pleasure, connection and sometimes even healing. We're diving into what really happens on the shop floor, from the questions people are too shy to ask to what's flying off the shelves.
Speaker 1:Spoiler alert it's not always what you think. We're talking about how shame shows up, how curiosity gets shut down, and how we can do better when it comes to making pleasure accessible, respectful and empowering for everyone. Accessible, respectful and empowering for everyone. So, whether you're a seasoned kinkster, a curious newbie or just here for the sex and tea, this one's going to open your mind and your bedside drawer. Welcome to Super Sex, the podcast that dives deep into sex relationships and everything in between. We're stripping away the shame, turning up the truth and keeping it smart, playful and unapologetically real. So buckle up, because the combos are deep, the topics are juicy and the safe word is always more. Let's get into it. Safe word is always more, let's get into it. Okay, guys, on the pod today we have the fabulous, amazing Nikki Kelly. How in the hell are you?
Speaker 2:I'm so great, thank you. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:That's good. Welcome to Super Sex. Tash is also here. Yes, you know, looking at people's toes and thinking about licking them, oh yuck.
Speaker 3:It doesn't make me vomit. Now Don't do that.
Speaker 1:Don't yuck somebody else's yum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like don't kink shame. Sorry, I'm not kink shame.
Speaker 3:It's just not my style. It's fair enough they're already picking on me. This hasn't even started for 10 seconds.
Speaker 1:It Started for 10 seconds. It's an easy job. Today we're going to be talking about your work, which is a lot around sex toys and recommending those to couples, because you work for God knows how long in sex stores. So I've got so many fucking questions on this because, like I'm pretty sure, like everybody who comes, you know and meets somebody who works in a sex store, is just like sit down, tell me more yeah.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of well and to me, not enough. People are sitting down saying tell me more. I'm like could someone please sit down Because I'd love to tell you I have so much to say on this topic in particular because I get so nerdy about it. I really like looking at the marketing versus. You know how something actually works and I look into the details of the company, the manufacturers. I could tell you who sued who details of the company, the manufacturers, I could tell you, who sued?
Speaker 2:who like the? Who has so analytical about it? Like you, should see my excel spreadsheets she's got excel spreadsheets for days, for days, um, they're color-coded. I'm very type a and I really bring that to anything that I do, but sex, in particular anything sexuality related, like there's a spreadsheet on that on my laptop.
Speaker 1:See, this will be fascinating, because you're the exact opposite of me.
Speaker 3:I have no Excel spreadsheets.
Speaker 1:I don't even know how to use Excel.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm one of these people, right?
Speaker 2:Hey, you know what I think? We all bring things to the table, but I bring organization oh, wow.
Speaker 3:No, she's just like, literally just got out of phone and she's like here's how organized I am it is color-coded, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's also categorized as well, so it has like check boxes it's hurting my brain for anybody because you can't see it how it is structured, is I start with function, so I don't do you want me to just like dive right in? Yeah, okay, so this I'm just like this is one of many spreadsheets this one is particularly for female vibrators, something that is going to be marketed towards someone with a vulva okay, okay, that's me.
Speaker 1:Um, so not necessarily female, but I also have a vulva somewhere around here. You do, I'm wondering today.
Speaker 2:So it starts off with function. So the different categories of that are going to be just vibrating, right, but even within just vibrating you have subcategories. So you have bullets yes they're just vibrating, but they're. They are different than something that is going to be internal versus external. Bullets are kind of their own category. So the function of vibration just has its own. It has the subcategories of bullets dual stimulation, open tipped, so where it's not closed on the top, it has either two, three, sometimes more.
Speaker 1:Oh, like the little rabbit-y thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like a rabbit would be classified as open, but the word rabbit is typically associated with a dual stimulation, something that goes vaginally and clitorally at the same time. So slightly different. Then you have bullets and then going across, so I have the color. This was also for when I worked at a store. I had what color the demo was, what drawer you could find it in to make training easier for people coming in. Because what's difficult, I think, when you go into an adult store is there's so much bias. It's natural.
Speaker 2:It's going to happen because you'll have something that you swear by, that you're like this is the best product, and when it's just when you're starting off, you don't know the retail, you don't know the inventory, and so you just kind of like, recommend what you know and what you like Exactly, but what I like to do and what I prefer, as you know, the sex educator side of me I don't go off of. You know what preferences I may have, like because everyone's different, every body is different, and so I care more about understanding what's available and then what would someone else like? So narrowing that down with people, so to do, that I have.
Speaker 3:I hate to go say Nikki.
Speaker 2:It's like a little puzzle.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 2:I love it when I'm like okay, what do you hate, what do you like? Let me help you.
Speaker 1:You're like the Sherlock Holmes of dildos.
Speaker 2:For real. Yeah, wow, what type of dildos? Do you want it vibrating? Do you want it to have a strong suction?
Speaker 3:How much do I want to get out about my kink life right now? Just like ask you questions safe space.
Speaker 1:Safe space, just what we do, okay, so if any of my family members are listening.
Speaker 2:Please turn off now uh, but just to go through a few more categories. So I have features that it has, you know, like this one, for instance, like gentle small marketed for g-spot. Um, although I don't know how technical do you guys get, because I'm always like the g-spot's not. I don't know how technical do you guys get, because I'm always like the g-spot's not real.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's something I've been really getting into, which it's not real and I sort of pulled up a doctor. I was in a pd the other day and she was like oh, you know the g-spot? And I was like and she's like what I'm like. Can we just call it the clitoral urethral vaginal complex instead? Right?
Speaker 3:Because it's not a spot, Because it's so much more accurate and it makes it easy. So I love how all the sexology students are now like there's no such thing as a G-spot.
Speaker 1:Show me the fucking data on this. It doesn't exist.
Speaker 2:Well, because, especially on my side, where I'm like it's for marketing, like it's to make money, it's not and it makes so many people with a vagina feel like they're broken because they're like I just haven't found it. I'm like oh well, it doesn't exist, it doesn't work like that, like that's not how it works and this is the thing.
Speaker 1:Like so many people come in and they're like, oh, that technique, that squirting technique, doesn't work for my partner. Like, like I'm doing something wrong. No man, you are fucking not doing something wrong. Like, do you realize that different bodies have different nerve endings in different places? And some people they've got a lot around the entrance. Other people it's further back in the vagina, some people it's around the cervix.
Speaker 3:I don't think mine exists anymore, just putting that out there that's your king just just ruined you, mate.
Speaker 1:I told you not to do the fire eating in there, whatever, um, but the thing I was really interested to learn the other the other week actually is because I'm a nerd like you, yeah right, and I did that unit that we're all doing together. My thing was on squirting. Right, I love that so instead of reading the 10 research articles, I think I went to about 35 or 36.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:But I was interested to learn that around about 20% of females actually can squirt from anal penetration alone. And when I look deeper into that, like basically the flanges of the clitoris can sort of wrap around in some people, like they get longer and they go around the anus. Yeah, and that stimulation of the clitoris is enough to get it going, because they've got, you know, higher density of nerve endings in that particular part of the clitoris, which is just fucking wild. Wow so everybody is fucking different.
Speaker 3:It is. I love that.
Speaker 2:I'm like I love learning these things. When people are like well, what got you into sexology? I'm like, because I love learning stuff like that.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, that's fascinating. All right, Tell me, how the hell did you start working in a sex shop though?
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:How did all of this begin? Because people don't just walk out of high school and go I want to sell vibrators, Right?
Speaker 2:So one thing you got to know about me is I am a salesperson at heart. Okay, I always like to say I like to use my powers for good.
Speaker 1:Like you can use them for evil as well. Well, yeah, because I don't know she might sell me a dud vibrator.
Speaker 3:True, true.
Speaker 2:I've worked in businesses where it was commission-based or sales-based and I do really well at that. I think I'm just I'm I'm good at selling, but because I I really get behind things. I'm a very passionate person, right, and I've done sales before where I wasn't completely behind it and I didn't like that. I felt almost dishonest in a way. I was like I don't want to sell something to someone if they don't need it or they don't want it. Like I don't want my uh, I don't know income to depend upon that. So I was like but I'm really good at it, so I wanted something where it wasn't going to be where I worked.
Speaker 2:It wasn't commission-based, which I was happy about. I mean, let's just stay for the record, if it was commission-based I would have blown everyone out of the water but um, but it caused a lot of drama and stuff between uh co-workers as well when you have that environment. But what I cared about more was the education side, is I wanted to help people and because it's very overwhelming when you walk into an adult store or you know, just it's so much stuff it's so much stuff yeah, and where I come from, it's it can be quite taboo.
Speaker 2:So people are very overwhelmed and I was like I don't want people to walk in, feel overwhelmed and then just immediately walk out like I want to help people go from I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I don't know to. Oh, my goodness, I want to try that that.
Speaker 3:Someone give me. I want my partner to stick that in my back now.
Speaker 2:Let me get out my card. And I liked that there was no pressure on me. You know, buy, don't buy, that doesn't really affect me, I just want to help you understand what's available to you. So I guess I was, you know, doing sex education in my undergrad and I thought, oh, I just, I just I love learning and I'm good at sales. So I went to a store owner where I'm from and I went in I was like listen, I'm like completely overqualified and I just I want. What I want is I want access to your inventory. She, the owner of the store, her name's Sam. She is amazing and she was like absolutely Like I'll just put you on, you know, two shifts a week, like someone just really small. This was like a spare job, this was my for fun job. I was like I don't need this.
Speaker 1:Everyone's got one of them, right.
Speaker 2:I was like I was already working as a sex educator at a sex therapy practice, but I was like I think it'd be really helpful if I could take my clients to a sex store, do demos for them, and then I need access to these products to be able to understand, like how they work, how they feel, to describe them to somebody else.
Speaker 2:So that's what I did is I went in and I said, hey, would you be willing to let me, you know, have access to all of your inventory for demos and stuff? And then I kind of did tons of research on my own and yeah, and that's where the nerd sex story came from.
Speaker 3:I love that it's so cool.
Speaker 2:It's awesome. I love it.
Speaker 1:That sounds like something I would do. But a big, hairy ass dude walks into a sex store and says doing that and everyone's like get the fuck out man.
Speaker 3:Who's this man and why is he here?
Speaker 1:What does he know? Yeah, clearly nothing. All right, so here's another question that I've always asked, right Like, I think, as a guy. We assume that working in a sex store is just like this weird, hedonistic, like crazy thing. Like where you've got people coming in and just like banging in the back aisle and you're like hey get out of here.
Speaker 3:I was just like where's this store? Like plain old sort of stuff, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Talk to me about the things that people assume about working in a sex store against the reality. Is it really as cool and fun, as glamorous as oh, it could be made out to me?
Speaker 2:I love how you say all of these things. You're like that's cool and glamorous. I'm like if that's the definition of cool and glamorous, no, um, now again where I worked. So I worked in utah, all right, so bit different of we're catering to a different audience.
Speaker 2:So we did have at the store uh that I worked at. There was like a back room, yeah, and you had to know that there was a back room in order to like, get back there. I mean, anyone's welcome to it, but it had any sort of explicit packaging we couldn't keep on the floor, um, so that was all in the back. Anything like sex swings, anything like super kinky um was gonna be in the back room. So people would usually call ahead of time be like do you have this? We'll be like, yeah, just ask to you know, get let into the back, um, whereas like everything.
Speaker 3:Without I'd live in the back door but I loved it.
Speaker 2:When people came in and they were like, yeah, can we see the back, I was like, oh, you know, you're here for something fun, like uh, and those are such fun, fun conversations. But no, honestly, people were really, for the most part, like very respectful, um, especially couples coming in like I never had any issues. The only time that I would have like anything that I don't know someone might assume is, uh, most people, if they're going to be like creepy or weird or something like that, um, they'll tend to call rather than come in person. Yeah, um, so we did get a lot of phone calls um, what's that kink? It's like scatter, oh, scat, scat scat.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's uh yeah, something like that, where it's uh, what's that like?
Speaker 2:poop like no, no, no, um, it sounds like that, yeah, but it's the word for um calling someone, and then like masturbating while you're on the phone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I haven't it sounds like the the one for uh poop yeah because it says scat in the yeah, but it's not, it's something different, but uh, anyways, essentially we would get a lot of calls of men. I never got a woman that called, but it was always men and they would call and it would start off pretty normal. Um, you could tell the signs like pretty quickly, though, once you work there for a while um you were like hmm the things that they're asking they're like can you describe, they would yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So they would like ask you to describe like some inventory or something, like hey, I'm looking for this and like can you tell me what it does? And be like yeah, so like this has like a sucking feature on it and like this also vibrates and like um and so then. But then you would start hearing them moan and you'd be like yeah, okay, and so we would just hang up. So we got those quite a bit um, and because of that, like younger employees, they couldn't answer the phone because it's good, it's jarring, like honestly, I really it was so offensive to me when I would answer the phone and like mid-call, I'm realizing that like someone's masturbating right now, like to me talking to them. I was like that I didn't ask, I didn't consent to be involved.
Speaker 3:No, like where's my money?
Speaker 2:No, I was like I hated it. I really that was probably my least favorite, but I answered the phone a lot, so that happened. I answered the phone a lot, so that happened. Sometimes you would get older single men coming in that I mean I don't want to make assumptions, but they probably haven't had a partner in a long time and because it was all female employees that worked there and you know they would just be really uncomfortable. You know they would flirt with you or like say uncomfortable things, especially for me as an educator, because you know all my other coworkers, like they're fabulous and amazing but like they don't have the educational background that I did.
Speaker 2:So any complex question, anybody that actually wanted details on something, I was the one you know. Oh, hey, go talk to Nikki so I would be explaining to them. Talk to Nikki, um, so I would be explaining to them. And because I'm not shaming them for what they're asking, all of a sudden, I think in sometimes in their heads it'd be like oh, she like really isn't she likes this Because she's not shaming me, she's into it.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, I'm like, let's be clear, that's not what's happening. I'm just I'm not shaming you, like I'm happy to explain you, to explain how to do this thing that you're asking, or whatever it is, but I don't want to be involved. People would ask for my number a lot.
Speaker 1:I love how guys' minds work.
Speaker 2:She's being nice.
Speaker 1:I don't feel put off by this. She's nice to me. That means she wants to bang me.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 3:Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way and I'll be like where are these guys?
Speaker 1:I'm joking, don't make me sex talk, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like, hey, listen, I'll judge you when you leave, not your face, just kidding.
Speaker 1:Now here's something I want to know, right, because this whole world that we're in now is going digital. Do you think that sex stores as a brick and mortar will ever close down and just go fully online?
Speaker 2:I definitely think that that could happen then. The advantage, though, of going into a store is most of them the vast majority are going to have demos yes so they're gonna have vibrators or different things that you can physically feel and that can be really helpful? Um, because they can get expensive, you know right. So, and these are non-returnable items, yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I don't want to use it.
Speaker 1:It is yeah, but you can get it at 30% off.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, no, no, oh. Just thinking about all the babies, oh, it's like from a medical perspective, that's no, no, no, no. But you want more than 30% off, eh, but I do think that there are advantages to a brick and mortar, going in and feeling it, seeing the different types, because, again, the description on the box is not accurate.
Speaker 1:It's not. It's not.
Speaker 3:I've had a few toys I've ordered online and I've just wanted to. I don't use them yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and it's things that people don't think about.
Speaker 2:So just the offhanded top of mind, the amount of hand stimulation that something can provide. So a lot of people don't think about that of you know me, holding this vibrator is also vibrating my hand, depending on where the motor is, depending on what type of motor it is. And it's not until you get it, you have it at home, that you realize, oh, if that's something that's bothersome to you, it can be really bothersome. And now you've spent all this money because you saw that it was this great thing, but you've, you didn't realize, oh, this was actually going to be a hard grip for me. Or that the length between if you're doing a dual stimulation, something that goes vaginally and clitorally, the length between those two parts on the cheaper models tend to be quite small and limited. So if you like a thrusting motion, it makes it very easily breakable, or it doesn't fully reach you clitorally, it can maintain the pressure while you thrust. So it depends on what you like and also how loud it is. You can't know that.
Speaker 3:That's true Housemates, knowing that I'm there doing my business Right Because it sounds like somebody's demolishing a wall.
Speaker 1:We watched that last night.
Speaker 2:So problematic but that's for american pie. Oh, I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you haven't seen american pie. You're american and haven't seen american pie. It's like being american and not listening to bruce springsteen. I mean fuck.
Speaker 3:She doesn't what.
Speaker 1:I don't know what stereotypes you have, but just because I'm American.
Speaker 2:Well, kangaroos deliver our mail, so Holy shit. Yeah, sorry to disappoint.
Speaker 1:So buying sex toys, though, is such a sensory thing right.
Speaker 1:Because I'm a massive proponent for the smell test because, as you said, what's written on the package is not always the case. So in Australia, here we've got this thing where it says on the package body-safe silicon, and then you open it up and you smell it and you're like, oh my God, that is not body-safe silicon, because body-safe silicon has no scent, there is no chemical, but that you know, the one that's giving you the smell is like that plastics and formaldehyde and all that sort of shit and people are putting that into their bodies. But if they're buying it online, they don't have the opportunity to even fucking go anywhere near that, which is mental.
Speaker 2:Right, well, and even they could say body safe silicone, and maybe it only has one part, like, for instance, the entire thing is plastic but it has a silicone tip.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so that's why it's able to have that label.
Speaker 1:It's just got like a tiny little asterisk. Yeah, it like a part, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's part of it maybe, but yeah, the whole thing maybe, isn't you know?
Speaker 3:and I like going into the sex store. So little king coming out for me. Um, like the bullets, though, that you just put into your undies and then you go out on a date night, you know you're sitting there and the guy has the remote control, then you're like fucking, turn it off. Yeah it, yeah. Panty vibrators, it's stuff like that. It's like, if you order it online, what if it comes out chunky and I look like I'm walking around looking like I've got a dick?
Speaker 1:Or if somebody can hear it as you're walking around town, yeah.
Speaker 2:Those are panty vibrators especially. So when it comes to those, the strength of the magnet really matters. I don't know this stuff Because depending on what type of underwear you're wearing, right, sometimes a cheaper brand or just a cheaper product could have a thicker magnet, but it's not actually very strong. So then it not only shows very clearly, you know, if you're wearing something that's like pretty skin tight like that's going to show.
Speaker 1:You're going to see that you got some bulge. Yeah, you have some bulge.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, you have a bulge there, but then it won't stay put because the magnet isn't strong enough, and so it depends on what underwear you're wearing, also the limitation of how far you can actually work with it. So a lot of them have a limit of oh, I know it in feet, I don't know it in meters.
Speaker 1:Just go, I'll try and come back.
Speaker 2:Okay, 25 feet 25 feet. That's probably about nine meters, eight meters, yeah, that's about the limit that most of them have with the remotes. But not all brands have that. Like Lo, most of them have with the remotes, um, but not all brands have that. Like lovance, that brand, that one, you can use it anywhere in the world as long as you have wi-fi, so long distance relationships.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness. Okay, can I talk about lovance real quick? Yeah, if you're talking long distance, lovance is an incredible brand because, yeah, you can use it anywhere in the world with wi-fi, but you can connect them. So let's say, for instance, that you have the nova. I think it's like, yeah, the nova vibrator. That one's a dual simulation, it has a pirouette rotation, and then you have the uh stroker model as well. Those can sync up and so when you move the nova one, like when you're, when you're working with the nova one, it will do, yeah, it'll work with the thrusting on so all our sci-fi workers right now, if you're listening, they need to get.
Speaker 2:I have a code.
Speaker 1:Oh, she does my link and the link's on my on my instagram so basically the girls girls are home getting themselves off with this device and the way it's synced up over Wi-Fi.
Speaker 2:The guy's basically got the sleeve on his knob and it's pumping at the exact same pace Exactly, and it's great if you're doing video right, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:This is a life changer for the Fo workers hang on, I just need to write down some notes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's also, um, I know it's quite popular for like only fans, because what? You can do is you can open up your you know you can have your code with trying to remember how it works, but basically so someone could pay to control it for like five minutes. Right, and they are literally controlling the pulse and like how much it is yeah, um, but not so.
Speaker 2:some other brands advertise that they have a similar feature, but each brand kind of has their corner that they just dominate at, and then of course they have to be in all the other corners, but they're just visitors to the other corners, they have their little home ground. Lovense is the app. Lovense just dominates.
Speaker 3:I think I've got that one.
Speaker 2:I haven't yet found a brand that can truly beat Lovense as far as its app features its consistency with reviews on the usage of it, that it doesn't crash, that it's very reliable Because that would be like the most annoying thing, right, like, let's say, you're in Paris, your partner's in I don't know Helsinki, halfway through a little session and, fuck, my app's just died.
Speaker 1:How do I get back onto this?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:No shit, it's all gone.
Speaker 2:That's it, just leave me alone. That just kills everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh wow, I fucking love that. This is a game changer for me.
Speaker 1:It really is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give me another question, okay.
Speaker 1:I want to know demographics right out of 100 people that walk into a sex store, how many appear to be female? How many appear to be male on average? Because I've always just imagined that it's just dominated by seedy fucking guys oh no, we go there for funsies on a girl's night yeah, see bachelorette parties for sure.
Speaker 3:And here.
Speaker 1:I was thinking they just went to the strippers.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:They go to the sex store first and then to the strip.
Speaker 3:We walk past the sex store and we're like, oh, fuck, yeah, let's go in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say there's a lot.
Speaker 1:My wife and I do that on a night out anyway.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, yeah, I was going to say, the last time I did that we were in Northbridge with the sexologist guys after I finished our block week, so that doesn't count either.
Speaker 2:It was a learning field trip. That's what it is any time anyone goes through sex with me. I'm like get ready to take notes.
Speaker 1:I always just walk straight up to the Uber Lube and put some on my fingers and just get that like a little sensory thing of just walking around and just going yeah's great, I'm twiddling my fingers together. By the way, do you want to know a fun?
Speaker 2:fact about uber lube, because I'm such a nerd. So uber lube is different than other silicone loops because it does have um slightly different ingredients which, um, in some aspects some people think that that's what makes it so great like it's one of the top selling on the market, it has great longevity, like it has great properties. But for some, if they can have a reaction of itching, um, so I always like to mention that because if someone tries uber lube for the first time and they happen to be itchy, then a lot of times they'll think silicone lube as a category won't work for them. But it is important to note that that one does have slightly different ingredients than the vast majority of the other silicone.
Speaker 3:And here's Tash being a woman's health nurse going and you shouldn't use those loops.
Speaker 2:Wait silicone.
Speaker 3:But they recommend water-based or your natural oil, so your vegetable olive and coconut oil.
Speaker 1:See, but they're really bad for condoms and they can cause infections and water-based is full of sugar.
Speaker 2:Right, but silicone is biologically inert. It doesn't absorb into the skin. I mean you do need to wash off for sure. No soap, no soap.
Speaker 1:Don't put soap in your tissue.
Speaker 2:I think, this is where maybe that comes in. Is they think, because you have to wash it, then maybe they're using soap and then maybe it's causing more problems but um it can also really help with women that get utis as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it can I always recommend to because, like obviously one of my areas is the size play area so I always recommend to put silicon lube inside first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, put silicon lube on the toy. If it's a body safe silicon, it's got to be the 100 primo grade though, because if it's not and if it's like mixed with tiny bit of plastics, it's just going to erode it. But if it's the best stuff, like the stuff that you get from, like mr hanky's toys or Bad Dragon or somebody else like that, it'll work perfectly. But silicon inside, silicon on the toy, then water-based, because the silicon stops the absorption of the water-based into the body and it provides that cushioning effect as well. Interesting.
Speaker 2:And it's condom safe as well, because that is the problem with oil is that it's not condom safe. Well, it's not latex safe. So, technically, if you have a non-latex condom, then you could. I always do that.
Speaker 3:Tasha's just voiced to everybody she would use protection.
Speaker 1:I use protection all the time. I've got a knife under my bed, I mean, no, I'm sort of protection, isn't it? I love that. All right, so back to the original question. How many are chicks? How many are guys?
Speaker 2:Yes, oh, my goodness, that's so hard because again I can't speak to like what it would be here in Australia.
Speaker 3:But I would definitely say more women than men where I was. We are way more hornier than you guys.
Speaker 1:See, and this is something that the masses need to know.
Speaker 2:Because men more hornier than you guys see, and this is something that the masses need to know well because men, I find they purchase a lot online because you just get like one product that you like and then you just kind of repurchase. But I'm gonna throw it out there though also.
Speaker 1:Guys are filled with shame and fucking stigma. Yeah like guys. Honestly, we find it so awkward to walk into a sex shop because, like, oh shit, he might be going in there to buy a dildo for himself, you know. And then, like you've just got to ask all these sort of questions, and then a female comes up and asks you all these questions and you're like, oh my God, like now I actually need to start thinking about my own sexuality. I don't need to think about my sexuality, I'm a man, I just do it.
Speaker 3:Fuck Right.
Speaker 1:And then it becomes a problem.
Speaker 3:Whereas we've got multiple holes, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's like oh yeah, I'm buying this for the front door. I was going to say my any hole is a goal. That's my number one saying Any hole is a goal.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Especially in golf.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1:That's my excuse when I go tee off at the 18th and I hit like the 16th green. You know, I just put it in there, just whatever.
Speaker 3:Whatever it worked, it's a hole.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, so a lot more females are coming in than guys.
Speaker 2:Where I was. Yeah, definitely, definitely.
Speaker 3:That is so interesting for me and me being a female I'm like I really thought it was going to be majority females.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because I don't know what we're like.
Speaker 1:I think guys have got it imprinted in their brain and that's why I sort of asked that question because guys have got it imprinted in their brain that females almost need to be led towards desire. Sure, yeah, sorry, not to us, not to us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the social climate that we live in is like men desire, women are desirable.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Even though that's not true, but that is what society definitely yeah, you know it talks about, and that's the mindset that a lot of them have and it's just imprinting that like I'm sort of right, which is really unfortunate, I think, for both, because, like for both men and women, um, because, if you're saying that it's almost like these, the men are like the drunk drivers and it's up to women to be like the sober drivers, right. Like men, they're just animals, they have no control over their sexual feelings. And then women are like, well, I must be sexually oppressed because, like we can't both be animals I need to moderate this right, right which is it's.
Speaker 2:I think it creates like a distrust in men, but then it also doesn't allow women to really understand their own sexual desire, their own pleasure, their capacity for pleasure, especially like biologically, women's capacity for pleasure is so much better than like men, like the clitoris only function is pleasure, but yet, yeah, they, they always. It's just this narrative that we have to be led, which is very interesting.
Speaker 3:I've got so many facts about the clitoris right now.
Speaker 2:That's what you're nerdy about.
Speaker 1:I'm nerdy about the clitoris. She's like set up and she's just like. Here I go.
Speaker 3:Here I go. No, there's actually a good YouTube little. It's called the Le Clitoris. It's in French, so there is subtitles. The Le Clitoris it's in French, so there is subtitles. Le Clitoris Le.
Speaker 1:Clitoris, the Le Clitoris, I wonder why, we sounded more German than French then I don't know.
Speaker 3:I do have that in my DNA track, german, that makes a lot of sense. I've also got some random other countries. I was like, wow, really.
Speaker 1:That's nice to know. You've got a lot of stuff in you, don't you? I know?
Speaker 3:But it's funny because, like you were saying, like the men and the desire and stuff, but all the little clip goes on about is the men's were the ones that were saying like the clitoris doesn't exist, it's only in, like you know, penetration orgasms, otherwise it's evil and all that kind of stuff. So it's just very Because it's most pleasing for them? Yeah, exactly, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And jumping back to what you were saying about the more expensive dual vibrators, they must have done their research, because the women whose clitoris is actually close to the vaginal opening they are the ones that are coming from vaginal penetration. And like only 27% of women actually can come from vaginal penetration. Me, I'm not one of those 27%, but here's something that I've just learned. Well, I learned probably about six months ago, a year ago now but 27% of women can orgasm on average from vaginal penetration.
Speaker 2:Alone yeah.
Speaker 1:And 27% of women have actually ended a relationship because of an inferior penis size. It's weird that same stat just keeps on coming up.
Speaker 3:It's like the 27 Club, it's just nobody's dying, just achieving orgasm stat just keeps on coming up 27, it's like 27 club.
Speaker 1:It's just nobody's dying. But okay, I don't have to think about that one. It's weird, isn't it? But? Yeah so they must have done their research at their sex toy company and realized that if we make those prongs a little bit longer, that's going to target more of the women whose clitoris is a little bit further away from the vaginal opening. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:I have so many theories when it comes to when I look at a product, do I know if this is fact? No, but I could guess if it was designed by someone with a vulva and a clitoris or not.
Speaker 3:When I look at it and I feel it, the big dragon dildo is definitely a man, yeah, like some of it I'm like this was not designed by someone who has this anatomy.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like this was designed by someone who thinks they know. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:They're going to be interested to know if it was a male or female that came with that. Like the Satisfyer. That's what I have at home. Is it the air pulse? I don't know. I've had it for like probably a good eight years, so it's probably different. Upgrade nikki's like.
Speaker 2:Oh my god I was like yeah, just go wait, describe which satisfier. Oh, so it's on the clip. Does it hold? On the little flowy one the pro, the pro, I think, oh, the generation two pro I don't know the oldest one.
Speaker 3:Oh, is it a hard plastic? Is it a?
Speaker 2:hard plastic and then I have the rose gold, yeah okay, yep, that one's different than the pro generation three we need nikki beth, like I'm learning so much, yeah, that one's gonna be the satisfier pro two, I think, is that model um, because the generation three is full silicone memory function. Two different heads for different.
Speaker 3:Oh see, no, mine's so old Like, it's just probably first when like USB came out to charge.
Speaker 1:It's just a mouse that's inside just blowing on it.
Speaker 2:What's nice about, satisfyer though, is they have a 15 year warranty. Actually, I still got warranty.
Speaker 3:That's really good. So please don't really introduce the company in case mine breaks and I need to charge a.
Speaker 2:You have to check if you need to register it. This is my advice to anyone. If you're ever buying a product, almost every single brand is going to have a minimum one year warranty. There are going to be some fine print on that. If you use silicone lube on a silicone product and it eats it, you're completely void of your warranty. Some oil-based lubes can void it as well.
Speaker 2:It depends on what it does to the material. Sometimes, if you don't use a toy cleaner, that can also mess with the material and that's a user error, not a manufacturer problem. But when you buy a product, just take a picture of your receipt, because the two things they're going to need is your receipt really, and they usually require a picture of the product itself because they're looking for that damage. Um, but yeah, you can just go on. Just before you go home, just see if you need to register your toy, register it and then, if it breaks in the next year like you, can just get a new one for free. Or Satisfyer, 15 years or Womanizer those ones are some of them like $200. They have a five-year warranty. I'm going to go home and check if I've got a warranty on mine.
Speaker 1:That is so good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so old, but they really get you with the receipt thing.
Speaker 1:So just take a picture of your receipt once you buy it like it's so long ago. I know right.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I'm not like nikki, I'm like oh, receipt, yeah, yeah, but with this one, this one, register your toys or just make sure you know. You can just google like do I need to register this? Because some brands have it, some brands don't. But satisfier is a great brand, um, for longevity, and they're also very like median priced it's the only toy that's lasted me moving around states I feel like.
Speaker 2:So I compare vibrators to a lot of different things to help relate to different groups of people, and I have a whole it's called my mansplained series where I'll describe vibrators relating them to like cars, or relating them to like sports or different things and and satisfier is like a toyota okay, satisfier is a toyota where it's just so reliable. I mean it's not winning any like super big awards, but it's just like dependable. You can always get it fixed.
Speaker 1:That's your daily drive, that's where you go. You know you're going to get what you want Right, exactly it doesn't have, like you know, a big thrust to it.
Speaker 3:It's not super powerful, powerful, but it's great, it's dependable.
Speaker 1:I'm interested to know what the ferrari is. Oh, that's gonna be the rolls royce I want to know what the rolls royce is.
Speaker 2:That is definitely gonna be the womanizer, next the womanizer. So the company womanizer yeah um is also the same mother company as we, vibe oh yeah, so they're both owned by wow manufacturing um and pure pjur the german yeah, they make the lubes and stuff yes, so all three of those are actually like one entity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, and they have a ton of patents. Uh, they're really high tech in some aspects because each brand, like I said, they have their corner. Now, what womanizer's corner is is airpulse technology. They were the ones to first come out with it in 2014 with the womanizer premium 2. Um, revolutionary, I mean, if you've heard of the rose that got huge on tiktok so I just showed you my bedroom.
Speaker 1:Did you see the one on the side you?
Speaker 2:didn't, I didn't, no, I was focused on the gym equipment. I was like wow.
Speaker 1:So a buddy of mine came to me the other day and we're out having drinks and he's like sex toy, which one is the best? And I'm like I can't talk from my thing because he wanted to buy something for his wife and I'm like, but this Airpulse rose is just next level.
Speaker 3:So the air pulse the rose, don't get the one from Timber. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Let me like sit up. I'm like listen, okay.
Speaker 2:This is some education for you. There is a difference between air pulse and suction, but it gets really confusing because a lot of these air pulse market themselves as suction For instance, the sucking rose when in fact is actually air pulse. So that's just important to know, because sometimes people would get the rose or something like oh, I love suction, and then they'll go on and they'll go online and they'll buy like a suction completely different, completely different technology. Because what an air pulse is is it's pushing the air up and down and there is a space of nothing before you. So you have like the material and then just like a gap and then the tip right that you put on your clitoris.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it can create a vacuum-like suction feeling, but it is not suction, because a true suction toy, that's going to be like a vacuum, like it's a grip, pull, grab, like it is pulling. That's not what. This is Right. This is different. It can feel very vibrational without the numbing. That's why Air Pulse is very popular, because that's the one that you have, but the Satisfyer. The motor is set further back, there's more space, so it feels more gentle, whereas the Rose it's shorter, yeah um, so it feels more suction it suctiony yeah, yeah it's not just, it is air pull still, but it's very powerful.
Speaker 2:So if you have never had a vibrator, ever, I do not personally recommend the rose, because what that one is is it is designed to be quick, fast, powerful, like boom knock your socks off in 35 seconds yes I'm hearing it, that's exactly what it's designed for, which.
Speaker 2:Listen, if that's what you're wanting, then that's a great, great choice for that. But if you like more of a build-up and it is also designed to be more of a solo grip, you can't have necessarily penetration at the same time. Yes, so if you're wanting something that you can use at the same time with a partner that has more of a buildup, that is still air pulse. Those are different categories. Like that's going to be something completely different. It's like the we vibe melt, for instance, that one is designed for two people you can hold at the same time as penetration. If I melt, for instance, that one is designed for two people you can hold at the same time as penetration, and it has more settings. It only has I like to refer to it as volume versus function, so like volume versus channels. Yeah, and don't be tricked If it says like 85 functions, garbage.
Speaker 2:You only need two, you only need like two functions, but you need more volume, you need more capacity for it to go higher and lower.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So sometimes that's a marketing trick that they'll do as well. But a good air pulse is going to have a good increase and decrease in the amount of pulses per second, right. But when we're talking about like, okay, all of these air pulses compared to one another, right, the vast majority of them it's just going to be one set amount of air that's pulsating and then it just goes faster or slower. What separates the majority of these, like roses and all the copycats and all the things and Womanizer, is the technology, because Womanizer has a patent on their design and their design is insane. Like if you went to a sex store today and you had on one thumb you just put the rose air pulse and then on the other thumb you put the Womanizer next, I can't tell you.
Speaker 2:It's like my favorite thing to see people's eyes go so wide, because what it does is there's a few things about the womanizer necks that makes it so unique. Instead of just a pulsation it's the best way to describe it is, if you took a string and tied it just like, twisted it around your finger, like pretty tightly, you're going to start feeling that throbbing of blood in the tip of your finger right, like you're just going to feel your heartbeat. That's what it feels like. It feels like a heartbeat, it feels like a throb. It's not a vibrational feeling, it is this deep, throbbing feeling. And if you're going to use that on, you know, the most sensitive part of you, that's going to feel very different than something like a rose right something that is vibrational, not numbing, then pulsating, throbbing sensation.
Speaker 2:It also some other cool features that it has. It has subwoofers. It has a subwoofer what so it's like? Basically silent. It only activates when you have contact with the tip of it. So when you disconnect it automatically shuts off, saves the batteries, you know when you're switching up positions and things has interchangeable heads for different clitoris. So when we go to the sex store, it has an autopilot function.
Speaker 1:We need to go to a sex store, it's got an autopilot function autopilot function.
Speaker 2:oh, and get this, get this. It has a calm down feature. Like this was designed by a woman A calm down feature. So usually after you orgasm, you're a bit more sensitive right. So you double click the power button automatically switches to the lowest setting to help bring you down.
Speaker 3:Okay, holy shit, jordan and I are like wow.
Speaker 1:Mind blown yeah.
Speaker 3:Tashi's going to sex shop tonight.
Speaker 2:So, because I know all this about, like you know, air pulse and things. When someone's like I want air pulse, I'm like what do you mean by that? Are we going based off of budget? Are we going based off of? Do you want to be able to use it with a partner? Do you want it to be something that helps you get there quick? Do you want this to be an experience? How much longevity do you want to it? Like there's different questions to ask when it comes to purchasing a sex toy, that people don't know what questions to ask, and so they just go on and they purchase what their best friend told them.
Speaker 1:So okay, Leads perfectly into the question I wanted to ask. Guys often walk into a sex store because they want to buy something for their female partner. Right, Girls or females go in there because they want to get something that their partner's not getting for them. What's the difference there? So guys are coming in, what are they going for that they think is going to get their girls off, and what are girls going straight for? And is there a difference before you jump in? Because as soon as you jump in, I can just imagine there'll be like this massive educational thing and it's just like, okay, well, you need this, this and this. But are they just walking in and going give me the biggest dildo you've got and the magic wand, or are they getting something different from what a girl's getting? I don't know. It's just random thought that came into my head.
Speaker 2:That is such a good question. Okay, my immediate thought is most men are not coming in to buy something for their girlfriend or partner, whoever it may be. They're not typically going to get them a dual stimulation, whereas a lot of women will get themselves a dual stimulation because in their minds.
Speaker 2:Well, I've got the inside part taken care of yeah, right true so a lot of times they will go more clitoral, okay, um, for you know, like a gift of some kind, um, and typically see, the thing thing is, a lot of times they still prioritize their experience, even when buying a gift. How much is this going to get in my way when I'm you know, Because sex toys are a competition.
Speaker 1:You know that right.
Speaker 3:See that mentality is like oh Nothing beats a penis. Let's be honest, they're in their mouth.
Speaker 1:You can't do it. I mean, guys have got it all.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, they've got the mouth. I say that jokingly. Listen and I'm like they do.
Speaker 2:That's one of my mansplained analogies that I give. It's like a sports team, right, Like you're the quarterback. Well, this isn't a very American. So.
Speaker 3:I'm going to put it on our outside. So you're used to be Panthers for the last four years, but you're the Panthers now who are nearly coming last, always coming last, just doesn't matter, you're not competing.
Speaker 2:You're working with them right? Exactly, this should be a full experience for both people involved, or however many people are there Like this should be something that is fun and these are tools that you're using. You know, um, for some people if you know what, I don't, I have so many things to say. I have so many things to say, but, okay, you know what we're going to go back to your original question, I would say women are typically coming in. Um, they usually there's a lot of anxiety, um, around women's sexuality. I mean, men and women. There's so much anxiety around it, but I think for them it's.
Speaker 2:they don't want to make their partner feel bad, yeah, um, so a lot of times they'll go for something that is like small, discreet, just a bullet you know something that's not gonna get in the way, but like can maybe help um, instead of actually going for what they want yeah yeah, um, and then for men, honestly, they're gonna purchase something very similar, something that's not going to like.
Speaker 2:Uh, wreck their ego, yeah, yeah but that's where I love my job. I can, especially when couples come in um, I really enjoy talking to both of them and seeing, okay, what, what are you guys wanting um out of your experience? Not what do you want to buy, what are you wanting to experience? Where are, like, are we just experimenting and having fun or are we trying to solve a problem here with this? Like, let's make this a tool for you and your intimacy? And when I start to discover, you know, oh well, she actually gets like, really, really sensitive. You know they're coming in to buy a bullet because they think that that's going to help, because they've never had anything before, or they're, like, you know, had very little. Well, okay, you're telling me that she gets really sensitive. A bullet's actually going to be a really bad choice.
Speaker 1:Because they've got like that, really sort of high-pitched, whiny right. Yes, yeah high frequency, yeah High frequency, whereas like more vibrations, like deeper rumbly Exactly, yeah, I describe it buzzy versus rumbly B. I describe it buzzy versus rumbling Buzzy and rumbling yeah.
Speaker 2:And yeah, those small motors they're very fast but yeah, they're going to be much more buzzy feeling, much more numbing.
Speaker 1:And if she is oversensitive.
Speaker 2:that's not going to be fun at all, if anything, and then she's going to go home, she's going to feel more broken, it's going to hurt. Now there are some brands that are more gentle, but maybe when we like, when I talk to them more and I really ask questions what do you like? You know what? What sensations? Um, oh, you like pressure? Oh, that's going to be something completely different. Let's go based off of what. What do you like? Do you like uh, you know your labia to be stimulated as well. Do you really like oral? You know, okay, but he's getting tired doing that. Like, what's something that we can do to help you know.
Speaker 3:That's my situation.
Speaker 2:Is he looking for a break? Do we need something for him Like what do we need?
Speaker 1:And this is all the things that guys need to realize before they even walk into a sex store is that there's so many different nuances to that and I think a lot of guys go in and go. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be the bigger person here and I'm gonna buy something for her pleasure without ever having that conversation with her right, which is uh, yeah, you need to be talking to her beforehand if you're gonna go get her something that that she really wants. Like, you should know your partner, because then when you come in and you're like she loves this and this and this and hates this and she hates this, oh, I can direct you so much quicker than like. What do you like?
Speaker 1:you know, like yeah, I can't speak to what your girlfriend will enjoy.
Speaker 2:I don't know your girlfriend. Yeah, and yeah, you should have asked her Like, what does she actually like?
Speaker 1:Not many couples are actually having that conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it's unfortunate.
Speaker 1:Another really guy question Percentage-wise, when a female body walks into the sex shop, how many of them are buying dildos and how big are these dildos that they're buying? Are they big at an average, the average being 5.17 inches?
Speaker 2:no, no, um, I would say percentage that are buying them. I think we would have to split it up by are they because more lesbians are going to buy them?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like if we're just, if we're taking, like heterosexual couple, the amount buying dildos Gosh 0.5%.
Speaker 3:I'm part of that 0.5% it's so small, it's so small it's so small.
Speaker 2:Um, if we're going, uh, lesbians, we're gonna get a lot higher. That's probably gonna be more in the like, I would say, at least 50 percent yeah um, we're going like gay men, that they're the ones that are going a lot bigger yeah in size. But no, if, if a female is buying a dildo, a lot of times they just want the? Um slightly longer. So like the seven inch again, I don't know what that is in your measuring system um, so like maybe slightly longer, but really quite thin, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, they're not that thick, they're really not okay and I love that you've said that, because that basically sums everything up for a guy because they think that girls get off with huge, thick, massive dicks.
Speaker 3:I'll say it again size doesn't matter for some of us, for me, for some of us, for most, I would say, for most for most, you're right yeah, well, and it's how you use it.
Speaker 2:It's what you like, what? What matters more to them is the material that it's made out of and the amount of suction it has on the bottom, like that's what matters the length, of the size yeah, they'll go with what looks pretty like.
Speaker 3:And can it stick to my shower, like that's the basic, like is it gonna just stick there? Is it gonna fall off?
Speaker 2:no, literally I can't even the only ones that I ever sold that like had actual girth to them, were all to men.
Speaker 1:None of them were to women, so I won't show you what we got in the cupboard, then it is huge.
Speaker 3:It's bigger than my thigh.
Speaker 2:It's scary, yeah, but you're in a size play, so like I mean, obviously that's going to be different, but like if we're just talking like just an average, yeah, no, it's going to be quite small.
Speaker 1:And that it sort of blows everything out of the water for guys, because they think that the ultimate avenue for female pleasure is vaginal fullness.
Speaker 2:Because it's the ultimate avenue for them.
Speaker 1:Exactly right. And they think that when a girl walks in, she's buying this big, fat dildo because that's the best way that she can get pleasure. No, but it's not.
Speaker 3:We've just broken so many guys' hearts right now, literally right, literally that she can get pleasure, but it's not. We've just broken so many guys' hearts right now. You do like that Literally right.
Speaker 2:Like the ego. The ego To say that, like that is what a woman wants, because that's what you prefer, like that's really. You've got to have quite an ego to go in and say that you know?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. Just start seeing guys standing next to dildos measuring their dildos to their dicks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's just not how it's not how it works. It's not even where the clitoris like begins.
Speaker 1:I know oh yeah, see, but I will say, though, that about 20% of women you know will sit there and say that size is definitely a factor of four. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, 20% at least. Some studies say up to 30% of women, but it's not any more than that. It's not going to be any more than that, because I think there's about five or six studies that's actually looked at this and there is no more than that of women who are sitting there. Going size is a really important factor for me.
Speaker 2:But I would even say, because that's going to be from a real person, is probably where they're speaking from right. Yeah, but size is going to matter. I think I would be curious to know if it matters as much when it comes to a product.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yes, If that changes.
Speaker 1:So there was one Australian study that got done and they basically had 30 different dildos from very, very small to very, very big.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they got. I think it was a couple of thousand women to come in and choose it and obviously the average penis size, depending on what source you get, is roughly about 5.17 to 5.21 inches when erect. 0.17 to 5.21 inches when erect. Most women in this study chose 6.1 inches and only slightly fatter than the average size girth. So, like yes, they prefer on average slightly longer, which is exactly what you said.
Speaker 2:Well, because of the cervix, the nerve endings of the cervix.
Speaker 1:Exactly right, Because different parts of the vagina and vaginal complex are venerated differently. But yeah, it's not that fucking different.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm here trying to Trying to rule out. I was literally just like.
Speaker 1:All right, I think let's wrap this up. I've got some quick questions for you. Okay, all right, I think let's wrap this up. I've got some quick questions for you. Sure, sure, all right, just go as quick as you can. Most underrated sex toy.
Speaker 2:It was underrated, underrated grinding pads. Grinding pads or glass dildos.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm with you on that. Glass dildos, glass dildos. Okay, I'm with you on that. Glass dildos Fuck, yes.
Speaker 3:The ones with the little pretty roses at the ends and stuff. You can get them so elegant and pretty.
Speaker 1:Got to be super careful with anal play, though, because they're not specifically masculine.
Speaker 3:I know, I just said any hole's a goal, but it depends how drunk Tasha is. It's when that situation happens.
Speaker 1:He said it was a safe space it is a safe space, but you just make everything so funny. Alright, worst toy marketing gimmick.
Speaker 2:Oh G-Spot, it's a Richard G-Spot. Oh my gosh, that one really drives me crazy for sure.
Speaker 1:It's a magical thing that nobody's ever been able to prove actually exists. Right right, All right. Sex tip. More men need to hear.
Speaker 2:I would say, you know, I kind of already said this but products, toys, whatever you want to call them. You should look at these as tools in your toolbox, like you're building something right, like you're building this intimate relationship with somebody else, and you should use all of the tools there and there's nothing wrong with that that it's. I think you need to build up your confidence as a man, in your masculinity and realize it's not directly tied to penis size, to your penis going inside of somebody else, that you are still a man. In fact, I think it takes more courage to say what does my partner like and how can I help them have the most amount of pleasure, even if it doesn't involve my penis in particular, like specifically. But I can help, you know, facilitate this great pleasure with my partner by using a lot of different things. It doesn't just have to be me and my body that I can create something using a product as well.
Speaker 1:You are so wise using a product as well. You are so wise I was just imagining guys. The same guy walking into the sex store 10 minutes before, goes to the hardware because he's got a home project. He's bought 12 drills, 17 saws, 55 levels, all because he wants to get this tiny little job done properly Right, but he won't buy the proper sex toys to do the job properly at home.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And listen, guys, women, there is nothing more attractive as working in a sex store. Okay, I worked with all women right. When guys would come in and you could tell they really cared about their partner because they were like I want to get her something that she is gonna love and this is what she likes and this what she doesn't like. They knew their partner and they put all of their ego to the side because they wanted something that their partner was going to enjoy and that they were going to give it to them.
Speaker 2:Those were the most attractive men that came into the story were like I want a guy like that, like I wish you know that's that's attractive. That's gonna be what makes her want you. More is if you actually care about her experience and like and you're willing to put yourself slightly to the side not fully, but like to put your ego on the side that she doesn't have to manage your ego and she can just have her own moment and you're there with her. She's choosing to have you there with her. That's going to be so much better for your relationship than you just constantly feeling like your ego has to be managed by her.
Speaker 1:That is so true. Being a woman seeing anybody actually in full flight, in full pleasure, owning it, being unapologetic about it, is the most erotic thing in the world. Like, guys watch porn because we want to see a woman absolutely melt into that moment. Yet, as guys, often we try to restrict that and restrict using these devices because we feel as though we need to give her that, but not many fucking guys can.
Speaker 2:And nor does she depend on you to do that like be there for her yes care. Show her you care, show her that you see her by getting things and doing things that she wants as much as you do, you know because sex is not just physical. No, it's emotional, absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's absolutely emotional, all right.
Speaker 3:I've got my dad joke. One second, one second.
Speaker 2:I've got one question left Okay.
Speaker 1:I think this is the most important one.
Speaker 3:Oh go Okay.
Speaker 1:Man walks into a toy store and says I want to impress my wife. What are you giving him? One thing, one thing, one thing. And it can't be advice, because you completely rock his world. But I don't know what his wife likes.
Speaker 2:See, that's too complex.
Speaker 3:Okay, what does she? Oh, I'm interested to see what you say and then what I would say. Yeah, Something.
Speaker 2:His wife Wait, just walks in, wants one thing.
Speaker 1:Just says I want to impress my wife.
Speaker 2:I want to impress my wife. What?
Speaker 1:are you giving?
Speaker 2:him. You want to know what I'm going to give him. I'm going to give him a book On the clitoris and I'm going to have him read it.
Speaker 3:I'm just like Arseless chaps.
Speaker 1:And this is why, we love having you here, Tosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you want to impress a woman, understand her better. So I would give him a book, come as you are, or you know what A fantastic one is Cuff, tied and Satisfied.
Speaker 3:Fantastic book it's got to read that one. I'm going to read that one too. It's A.
Speaker 2:Beginner's Guide to Kink.
Speaker 3:It's written like a class Not really good, absolutely fantastic Becoming Clitorate, that one's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would give them a book.
Speaker 1:Give them a book, all right.
Speaker 2:I know that's probably not what you wanted me to say but I think I win that one, I think it's.
Speaker 1:Give the book any arseless chance and just leave it there.
Speaker 2:And have him just reading on the bed in only the arseless chance.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there it is, with a rose in his mouth, done.
Speaker 1:What sort of rose? One of those air pulse ones?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Very different. Holding in your mouth it's more like, oh All, right, joke of the day, come on, because I've got the hit back.
Speaker 3:What do a dildo and tofu have in common? They are both meat substitutes. That's good. I told you I'm going to have a dad joke set. That was amazing.
Speaker 1:I've got the worst one and I heard it around the lunch table the other day. But um, I told my wife that I was going to make a car out of spaghetti. She was really surprised when I drove pasta do you get it, nikki? I don't feel like I get that one a car out of spaghetti yeah, she was really surprised when I drove pasta pasta.
Speaker 3:Pasta not spaghetti.
Speaker 1:Oh my. I'm thinking sexual, I'm like I don't have sex ones I'll get a memory of like a goldfish.
Speaker 2:See, that was my problem was I was trying to make it dirty and I was like, wait what?
Speaker 1:Pasta. You could probably do that dirty that's got a hole. Just boil it first. Nikki, you've been fucking amazing. Thank you. I got through about three percent of the questions I wanted to get through um you're coming back for another special you can dm me your questions.
Speaker 2:I'm happy to help.
Speaker 1:I do presentations yes, and on that, where can people find you?
Speaker 2:You can find me all over, so I have my own podcast. Life According to Nikki Very good, by the way. Thank you. You can see me on Instagram, I follow you on Insta.
Speaker 3:It's amazing, yes.
Speaker 2:I also. I work with a lot of religious people, so you can find me on the Virgin Sex Educator account as well. Just started that up so you can find me in all the places.
Speaker 1:We'll put the links in the show notes. Nikki you've been amazing, lovely to chat with you and we shall talk soon.
Speaker 3:We will.
Speaker 2:Over and out.
Speaker 1:There it is, straight from the shop floor to your ears. Nikki Kelly just gave us the real talk about pleasure, shame and the everyday people walking into sex stores looking not just for toys but for permission, permission to explore, to ask questions and to want more. Maybe the biggest takeaway. Pleasure isn't about performance. It's about curiosity, confidence and feeling safe enough to discover what actually feels good to you, not what the internet says you should. Big love to Nikki for her insight and her sense of humor. And if this episode sparked something in you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with a mate, send it to your group, chat or play it for your partner. And, as always, remember this pleasure is for everyone, especially you.
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