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Super Sex
This is an 18+ podcast!
Welcome to Supersex—the podcast where you get to dive into all things sex and relationships without it ever getting boring!
Ever wondered how talking about sex could actually be fun? Well, here’s where you find out. We’ve got a queer guy and a straight dude ready to dish out the tea, share the cringey moments, and keep it as real (and hilarious) as it gets.
Every episode is packed with the good stuff—the latest research, wild stories, and a ton of laughs, so you get to learn about sex and relationships without feeling like you're in a classroom.
Curious about what’s new in sexual health? Need advice on navigating the dating jungle? Or maybe you just wanna hear about someone else’s relationship fails to feel better about your own? We got you!
From first dates to kink, we're breaking down the science and making it all relatable to you so you can implement the good stuff into your sex life and get rid of the bad.
Expect personal stories, guest experts, and, of course, a bunch of jokes. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even rethink a few things about love and intimacy.
So tune in, because you deserve to have fun while figuring out this whole sex and relationship thing!
Super Sex
Episode 51: Size Matters: Inside the Wild World of Size Play with Mischief & Mayhem
Ever wondered about the world of size play but never knew who to ask? Our milestone 100th episode pulls back the curtain on this often-misunderstood practice with candid experts who live it every day.
When Mischief and Mayhem from the Ministry of Mischief podcast join us, the conversation flows from hilarious to profound as they share their journey into stretching. What began with curiosity at a kink club demonstration has evolved into a passion they're now helping others explore safely. Their fresh perspective challenges common misconceptions – most importantly that bodies don't "get ruined" from stretching play, regardless what internet myths suggest.
The technical aspects prove fascinating: the importance of platinum-grade silicone toys versus cheaper alternatives, the art of lubricant preparation (powdered lube mixed to specific consistencies), and the subtle differences between anal and vaginal play preferences. These aren't just sexual techniques but rituals requiring preparation, trust, and significant aftercare. Through detailed descriptions of breath work techniques and mental preparation, we discover how stretching becomes almost meditative – a surrender requiring deep trust between partners.
Perhaps most compelling is how stretching enhances relationships through improved communication. When words become difficult during intense sensations, partners develop profound non-verbal understanding and connection. The vulnerability creates space for growth that extends far beyond the bedroom.
Feeling curious? Whether you're size-experienced, size-questioning, or simply appreciate learning about diverse expressions of pleasure, this landmark episode delivers education with authenticity and humor. And if you're in Perth, Australia, check out Mischief and Mayhem's upcoming "Mayhem" event on August 15th – the link's in our show notes!
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The Ministry of Mischief Podcast:
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Link to Mayhem - The Event:
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All right, my beautiful, curious, size-loving people, we made it. This is episode 100 of the Super Sex Podcast and, honestly, I couldn't imagine a better way to celebrate than with the incredible duo from the Ministry of Mischief podcast, mischief and Mayhemhem, themselves in the flesh. Now, if you've been writing with us for a while, you'll know that the Sizeplay community has shown so much love and support to this show and for our 100th episode, that sounds crazy that I'm actually saying that. Well, we wanted to give that love right back to that community. So, instead of a research heavy nerd out, today's episode is all about lived experience the real, the raw, the sometimes ridiculous and often reverent world of size play and stretching from the people who are deep in it, both literally and figuratively. Anyways, we talk about pleasure, power, patience, toys, the size of your forearm and the emotional and relational dynamics that come with it all. Mischief and mayhem don't hold back, and neither do we. This episode is bold, it's honest, it's tender, it's hilarious and it's totally unmissable. Whether you're size curious, size experienced or just here for the wild ride, you're going to love this one. Let's get into it and thank you truly for helping us all reach this 100th episode of Super Sex.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Super Sex, the podcast that dives into sex, relationships and absolutely everything in between. We're stripping away shame, turning up the truth and keeping it smart, playful and unapologetically real. So buckle up, because the combos are deep, the topics are juicy and the safe word is always more let's get into it. Alright, guys today on the pod, it's our 100th podcast and it's absolutely perfect because we have Mischief and Mayhem from the Ministry of Mischief podcast. How in the hell are you guys doing? Good, thank you. How are you?
Speaker 2:Excellent. How are you doing Good? Excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Excellent, tosh. How are you doing? Mate you alright.
Speaker 3:I'm excited about this episode.
Speaker 1:Fucking hell, she sounds like it. I'm excited about that as well. Yeah, Now I'm actually super excited about this one, because not only is it 100 episodes, it is also a podcast episode all about the lived experience of size play and stretching so jordan's to go to yeah it's. I'm just really psyched about it. I'm psyched about it. So tell me, though, how did you two get into this?
Speaker 1:because you guys are quite young as well, like yeah, when you walk through the door. I was expecting like somebody 50 year old. You know like somebody about my vintage. I'm not 50,. I just look it.
Speaker 3:You're 60. Oh, get off it. My knees are 60.
Speaker 1:My knees and my back are 60. But how did you get into it? Because being so young is that's a very interesting thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's not many people our age, to be fair, wandering around, especially not in the kink kind of kink community either. So we kind of our old club back in the UK. They were very kind of kink and swinging, if we like. We've mentioned a bit and our friends that we've met run an event called Stretch there and we kind of just we weren't really friends with them at this point.
Speaker 5:No, this was like when we just started. We started going to the club and then we saw this event and we're like oh, that looks interesting, Like we'll just go and see, never done this sort of thing before, and then we went and they had a demo on we're like oh this is very cool, A demo night like a new car demo yeah, so it's essentially the mileage.
Speaker 2:So, like you go in, and they had. It was a really great event, like so many people there. They had all of these huge toys just like lined up and we were like shocked. We walked in like oh my God, what have we got ourselves into at this point? And then they did a demo and they're now our really good friends actually and they kind of taught us everything we know. And they did a demo and she literally is there in front of like a crowd of people and he is like doing all of these different huge toys with her and like properly stretching in front of everyone, and then other people kind of go up and he shows them like how to fist someone, like in front, and gives everyone a go and like there's literally people queuing up and having a go at fisting and seeing what it's like. She's just there like enjoying, enjoying herself, which is great.
Speaker 1:That's so cool. That's brilliant. See, it is such a niche thing though, isn't it? I actually reached out to a person within the kink community here, and they put on all sorts of different workshops and whatnot, and I was like, hey, what do you think about doing like a workshop around fisting and size play? And even this person who was a professional fetishist yeah, what do you think about doing like a workshop around fisting and size play? And even this person who was a professional fetishist and in the kink space was like, oh, I don't know, that's like really edgy.
Speaker 1:And I'm like is it? Yeah, I mean blood play, fucking, PVC, like asphyxiation, all that sort of stuff seems to me like really edgy but, this, this thing in size play like larger than normal dildos. I mean, what the hell?
Speaker 2:like when you're into it it seems so kind of like almost normal, and then you forget that other people just don't do it, even in the kink scene, like people are just they don't even know what it is, and no one in the gay scene. I think it's really big and well.
Speaker 1:Pun intended.
Speaker 2:No, it's like they everyone kind of knows about it in the gay scene, but as soon as you go into kind of normal swinging sex kink scenes, they're kind of very more straight.
Speaker 1:No one really knows about it and a lot of people do fisting and stuff and just don't know that there's anything more to it than that yeah, it's just like this random habit that they picked up one day you know, yeah, my hand just fell in there and ever since we've just been doing it we've just been doing it.
Speaker 3:Oh, I can fit two fingers, three fingers, let's try everything. Why the hell not, yeah, why the?
Speaker 1:hell not. Oh, so you say that this, this couple that you met, taught you everything Like you walked into the club, you seen it and it was just like this oh, I've really got to give this a go, or was it like oh, I suppose we can sort of try build up to it, or what? Went on there. Like how did that work?
Speaker 5:I think it was a bit of a slower build up because of how they did the event. All the toys they have you're free to use. Obviously they get cleaned in between.
Speaker 1:I hope so. This medical nut over here is just sitting there going oh no, babe BBB.
Speaker 3:That's literally what I was thinking was BBB the whole time, just at my workshop on BBB too, and I'm just like ooh okay.
Speaker 1:So carry on.
Speaker 3:Carry on.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so they have all the toys there to use.
Speaker 2:So I think that first night we might have tried a small one, one of the smaller ones A small one that to most people isn't actually a small toy but compared to some of the giants on the table, compared to some of the ones they have, yeah, you're like okay, so we started with that and then slow build from there.
Speaker 2:I think we did just meet them and just kind of play normally with them as well. So we just did couple swaps of them for a while and then, because they're this is such a like kink of theirs, every time we played with them they're kind of like like, oh, like you're kind of interested, we can kind of corrupt you a little bit more. And then I think we went out with them one night and then we went back to their hotel room and they opened up their suitcase and they just had all of these huge toys and they're like why don't you give it a go? And I think I was like at first saying no, like I don't. You know, that's too big, I would never get that. Like that's never going to be inside me. And then, before I knew it, we were like, yeah, let's just give it a go, fuck it, let's do it. Yeah, since then they send us pictures of all their stuff. We bought a big toy and have been obsessed. And then, yeah, it's just gone from there.
Speaker 1:Love that.
Speaker 3:I just love that. There's a massive suitcase full of dildos just strolling around the street.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking about the weight of that thing?
Speaker 2:yeah, because they are heavy, aren't they? When they go to this event, right their car? Like you can see, the suspension is right down because it's just full of silicone huge toys and like. Then there's none like normal sized ones anymore, they're just absolutely massive.
Speaker 2:But I would love to see a copper's face, if they ever pulled them over honestly, I think they sent me a video one time, and it was like, of their car after a night out and they'd left one in the back and it was just like drooped over the back seats, but they were filming it down on the street, you know, like if anyone walking past is going to see that, they're going to be so confused.
Speaker 1:See, I'd just be attaching it to the windscreen wipers or something like that. I just haven't gone. Do you know the?
Speaker 3:little squirtle toys that you can put on the back of your car and it spits out water. I can just imagine, like a dildo one just spitting out water for people that beep at you. Oh my gosh, that's a business idea We've got to get on to that Whoever's listening. Do not patent that yeah, copyright, copyright it's ours, fuck off.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 1:Now Copyrights, copyrights, it's ours. Fuck off, that's great. Now tell me so they open up the suitcase.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Were you sitting there like no, I can't fucking get into this, like I'll be ruined forever. Was there any like sort of psychological stuff going on for you? Because I know for a lot of people, before they make that step into it and before they've played a couple of times and gone, oh actually they make that step into it and before they've played a couple of times and gone.
Speaker 1:Oh, actually, my vagina just goes back to normal. Yeah, they're like no, like I'm gonna be ruined. Everyone's gonna think I'm a slut. I can't be having this like yeah was that that going on there?
Speaker 2:I don't know because we were already quite in the community already the things like everyone's gonna judge me. It wasn't really a thought too much. I'm like more feel that kind of thought when I'm stretching him, so when I'm kind of topping yeah then I'll be like oh, people are gonna judge kind of my technique, as opposed to how that's what I think like.
Speaker 2:That's where my, like my thought process goes more. When I'm doing it to other people, like am I doing it right? Am I, am I gonna hurt them? Is someone else gonna watch and judge how I'm doing it? Or something like when I'm actually there being stretched, I don't, I my mind's like in the clouds, but, um, when I actually started it, I was just like this is really cool, but I'm not sure that's actually gonna go in. Like I was like that's huge and that's not going anywhere near me. And they're like, oh, we can work up to it.
Speaker 1:And then no, we just did it, so did you get it in though it was quite aggressive it was like okay, I was like it's not gonna go in.
Speaker 2:And then he was like no, it will. Like we just just gotta, you know, you just gotta trust me. And I was like, oh, I don not going to go in. And then he was like, no, it will. Like, we just got to, you know, you just got to trust me. And I was like, oh, I don't think it will. He's like, no, we're just going to try, just just bear with. And like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like you don't believe that it's going to go in, and then you just have to be like, okay, just do it. Like yeah, yeah, it's been a lot of that, it's been a lot of like okay, just give it a go and try. And like, even now, like we have big ties and I have ties that I'm very comfortable with and I'm like, oh, but I want to stretch more. Like in my head, I'm like want to take something bigger, and then the other part of me is like that's not going to work, and then you do.
Speaker 1:It's like a sort of letting go process that you have to go through.
Speaker 2:It's that psychological letting go before the body relaxes, right For sure, and I think like there'll be times when I've taken stuff that's way bigger than like you know I have a good few toys and there'll be something that is normal and like I can take really easily. But if we're in the wrong environment or with the wrong person, like and like I can take really easily. But if we're in the wrong environment or with the wrong person, like there's no chance and it's just not, I'd be so in my head about it and I'm like, oh, like I don't even know what it is, it's just a mental, like I'm not relaxed. Then there's no chance and I'm just like, oh, okay, not tonight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think with this sort of play, because it is basically at the extremes of what your body can do you have to be mentally there, otherwise your body sort of just shuts down Like the pelvic floor.
Speaker 3:You'll be able to talk to this a little bit, I'm pointing at Tash Tash, but like I'm not going to talk to you until you've corrected my name, thank, you, but the pelvic floor basically is one of those centres that if there is any stress within the body. Yeah, it will tighten up.
Speaker 1:It tightens up and you don't even know that you're tightening it up. It's tight before you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's like the same with women that go through post-traumatic birthing experiences and stuff like that as well. It all goes back to normal. As we've been saying, after size play after delivering, it goes back to normal. As we've been saying, after size play after delivering, it goes back to normal, like size-wise. But because of their trauma and the psychological ways behind it, they train up their pelvic floor to retaliate and it just clinches. Yeah, it's like a vice. Nothing's going in. That's fucked.
Speaker 1:But it's actually interesting the way that size play can be used to overcome that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as like a what do?
Speaker 1:you call it a mindfulness practice. That's what the dilators are for as well.
Speaker 3:So dilators we use for, unfortunately, oncology patients, because they do get that's. The only reason why you would get tired is from radiation, and surgery, so you don't use radioactive dildos.
Speaker 1:Surgery, so you don't use radioactive dildos. No, no, don't use radioactive dildos, but psychological.
Speaker 3:Let's go back to that psychological ways around women and trying to even get back up to what we call the normal size. It's the dilators, because dilators come in different sizes and it's one step at a time, like the smallest one is the size of a pinky and then you just keep growing, and that's how you work on them psychologically as well.
Speaker 1:Look at these two to judgment now the size of a pinky.
Speaker 2:There's no judgment Like we say all the time. We're like. You know, stretching is not just a big tie Like stretching is whatever's big, yeah, yeah. So for some people that like might be a finger. Yeah, if you've never you know. So for us, and we started off.
Speaker 3:For me it's probably a finger again because, like, let's go, I'm like ready to be a nun again, yeah it's just your fetish, yeah but no, yeah, it's like you just work off and whatever's big for you is stretching.
Speaker 1:Do you find that there's like you go through ebbs and flows with it, like it's not just a constant linear sort of progression up, but like some months you'll be able to go bigger and then other months you've got like a bit more on and like you sort of calm down and like you sort of start tightening up.
Speaker 3:I'm interested in that way with your cycle as well. Is there times in your cycle where you feel like you can take more.
Speaker 2:Actually we found that recently, haven't we? When we went. So if we don't play for a while or we don't stretch for a while, I need to work back up. So if we've been really busy and just not got round to it like we just won't be able to take the same same amount of stuff or same size and we just have and it it works quite quick.
Speaker 2:Like you, you know you pick it up again, but it's even before. Like if we want to do a demo, an event or something, we have to like spend a few weeks beforehand like actually training and getting ready for it and be like, okay, we need to try and stretch more to be able to do that. And, you know, use the bigger sizes of toys that are going to be kind of impressive if you're going to do a demo somewhere.
Speaker 5:So that's kind of yeah, it's very similar, though, like if you went to the gym, like you don't always have a constant progression. If you went to the gym and worked out, no similar way like if you stop going to the gym you'll have to build your way back up, but it might be easier the second time yeah, it's a very similar thing. I find yeah, um and yeah, the sizes that either of us can take does vary depending on when we've last done it mainly yeah now talk to me about that then, because obviously you're both in stretching anal and vaginal right?
Speaker 1:what are the differences? Do you find that there's a lot more prep that goes into anal stretching? Is there a lot more prep that goes into vaginal stretching?
Speaker 3:And also like ovulation. I know your cervix is like lower so how does that affect you as well?
Speaker 2:Like we found. Literally the other day was when we first really realised it and I was like this isn't right, like I can't even get Sam's fingers in me, think this is painful, it's not, it's not right, it's not sitting right, and I wanted to stretch all day and I'd gone like ready, like yes, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna take a big toy, and Sam was like I can feel your cervix, like it has moved down.
Speaker 2:It's like right there like we can't put anything in you right now because it's not, like it's just not going to go anywhere, and I was like, oh, it's not feeling right, it's like, yeah, so there's like a whole about a week, really wasn't it?
Speaker 2:yeah, and it was around that and it was just like just could not do any stretching, even like normal sex. I was just like, oh, this is not right, it's not feeling good. So we kind of yeah, that was a bit of an interesting one, because we've been so busy recently as well that we haven't really got around to it a lot so we've just kind of started getting back into stretching and using big toys and stuff like that. So I've kind of noticed a lot with my body and stuff like that as well, when we can actually play and when we can't, and just noting it down, like as soon as it feels a bit different, I'm like, oh, okay, we've got a week off now.
Speaker 1:Realistically, see, which is? I love the fact that you guys are talking about that, because everybody's got this, not everybody. 90 of people have got this assumption that as soon as you start playing around with big toys, that you're going to be walking around with this big gaping hole between your legs and like it's going to be like the mersey tunnel or something yeah, the wind goes through yeah, but it's not because it comes back down and like throughout different times of the cycle, like things move on and whatnot.
Speaker 1:But have you like? Obviously, the stretching with toys is one thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that obviously well, not obviously, but quite often, I assume is like sort of a sexual thing. You know there's sex that goes along with that. But when you're on that big sort of stretch progression, when you're prepping for a demo or something, is there any other sort of stretching that you're doing like outside of the toys? Are you using sort of finger techniques or like plugs or anything like that?
Speaker 2:toys they like using sort of finger techniques or like plugs or anything like that. Uh, with you we use like kind of like butt plugs and leave butt plugs in longer we always do a mix of things, too fair.
Speaker 5:So we won't just use toys, we will usually use hands as well. So we'll usually do fisting and toys at the same time. So we always find a good way to start is start with your hand, and then we work to bigger toys from.
Speaker 5:There um, and it's just that sort of like, if we're going for something bigger, we just have to sort of slowly progress in and then like as you go, either well, both um your vagina, or anally, they um, both will just stretch more slowly, but if you just hold it in position, you start to stretch more. Yes, more of that, and then, when you take it back out again, you come back to normal.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's like holding it and waiting for a few minutes and like breathing into that kind of that stretch and then trying more or taking it out and then going again and you actually get further and further each time. So like just slowly waiting because like it's a lot of like a mental thing as well, so I'll get to a point where I'll think like no, that's the limit for today, and then if you just hold it there and kind of breathe into it and just be like okay, take a minute, like let your body relax and then go further, and it kind of just working like that breathing is a big part of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of like breath work and kind of just being like okay, stop breathe, like relax and then go again.
Speaker 1:All right Now to clarify we're talking about anal or vaginal here, both.
Speaker 3:Or both. Well, you're not paying attention, george. No, I am, I am.
Speaker 1:Right, Because I just want to clarify for people listening right.
Speaker 3:Okay, calm down. They're probably paying more attention than you, they probably?
Speaker 1:are, but okay. So the reason why I wanted to get into the breath work, because there's fuck all literature around this. But with the anal and the deeper that you go within the anal, it starts hitting up against a vagus nerve right, which is that parasympathetic sort of relaxation thing. Yeah, but there is part of the cervix if I'm right here that is venerated by the vagus nerve anyway.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right. So when you're using those large toys and hitting up against that cervix, you're also starting to play with that vagus nerve. But then to play around with the breath, you can then also sort of activate that as well and calm that system down. So the breathing techniques have you found?
Speaker 3:Which is true, because when we do like what we call colposcopies at work, where you literally have to fiddle with the cervix, you do tell them to do deep breathing exercises.
Speaker 1:Because it helps everything to relax right the vaso yep, because that vagus nerve. But is there a specific breathing technique that you guys have found that you just land on Like is it shallow breaths, deeper breaths?
Speaker 2:And I'm going to pay attention because I could take this back to work, kind of just deep, like really deep, long breaths.
Speaker 2:I found really helps, because I find myself holding my breath, like when you're kind of not in pain, but at that kind of like painful point, I find myself like holding my breath and kind of trying to just push through, and then you're like, okay, no deep, no deep, like really long, deep breaths in and out. And then you're like, okay, stop it, like stop trying to push, stretching wise, take really deep breaths, kind of focus in on what your body's feeling and not what's going on around you, um, and kind of just work with that really and take the deep breaths. And then, once you've kind of calmed yourself down and you feel you actually feel yourself relax as well, and then you're like, okay, now go again. And you know, like, because I've said, there's times when we're stretching with each other and I'll be like, okay, like now start again, go again. And you'll just know like it's almost a like a flip, and you're just like, okay, I'm relaxed, actually, that it stopped feeling painful and it started feeling nice, and then you just go again that is fascinating.
Speaker 1:It's almost like it's a state of meditation.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's a bit like people do breath playing yoga. I think it's a very similar thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, very fun yoga, very fun yoga.
Speaker 1:Just imagine that, just like having, like normal. What is it like? Hatha yoga, bikram yoga, stretching on giant toys, yoga.
Speaker 3:Then you've got naked yoga, which I know some people did the other day. See, yeah, there you go, it's got to be done. It's got to be done. It's got to be done. I'd go to that yoga class. Give it a go.
Speaker 1:We've got to start. We've got two business ideas now that we can actually. No copyright.
Speaker 2:Nail down. We've also found like even different toys, like so, anal stretching, you can. The length, you can go a lot longer like huge, ridiculous lengths with anal stretching, whereas we don't. I I, especially with my body, can't take a lot of length in my vagina. Yeah, so I'm more going for like a, the kind of girth of a toy, as opposed to the length, because I hit I what did you say? 10, 11 inches, and then it's like no.
Speaker 5:But then that also depends on the shape and the structure of the toy, because some firmer toys which won't move within you, but some of our, for example, tentacles, they'll tend to move around inside your body more, so you can usually take a bit more of them because they'll flip over or start to coil in a certain way. That's more.
Speaker 3:I'm just sitting here like I'm so excited to listen to all this, Because it sort of would, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:It would sort of hit the cervix and then it would sort of wrap in around like that dome of the cervix.
Speaker 5:Because that's a way to go deeper. We just have to go around your like I'm trying to work out how to explain it sort of your cervix is in a certain place, but if we can get the toy to avoid the cervix, you can usually go a bit deeper.
Speaker 2:And then when it flips is one of those like pain points that I was saying about as well. So normally when it hits, like as deep as it'll go, I'm like, oh, I want to stop now. And then we're like I kind of, if we can get it to flip, then I can carry on.
Speaker 1:But it takes a minute of like okay, relax, we're just going to try and get it to flip, and then it stops, the pain stops and it just starts feeling really, really good yeah and then you start feeling that kind of like full feeling as opposed to just a pokey, the pokey feeling I'm just imagining it's like a scene from like a lock breaking thing and it's just like someone's sitting there on the outside going that's it, we got it.
Speaker 2:You wish it looked that easy right but you should have seen we've, we did um when we first played with our friends like really long tentacle, we're like we need it to flip, that's what we're aiming to do and we had um, him and um and mayhem both stood there with this toy right either, like both holding each end trying to get it to flip over because it just kept slipping out with like the amount of lube we were using and we had them both kind of pushing one of them quite a heavy toy.
Speaker 3:It's a hefty thing you have to go to the gym to use toys.
Speaker 2:It was like a two-man job to try and get this to flip over, and it took ages as well. I was like, no, no, it's hurting, it's hurting, pull back, we've got to go again.
Speaker 5:It was just trying to find the right positioning as well, like having it pre-folded, yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's good to know that you can get different girth toys, because there are women out there with short vaginas which is actually a thin, which is awesome to know for them as well.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of companies out there now that are actually starting to cater towards that market. Yeah, Like well, what's that toy? I can't remember what it is, but they call it the tuna can Jerry or something like that. Oh God, tuna, tuna can Jerry, or something like that which is basically like about seven. It's about seven inches long, but it's about 12 inches around, so it's just like this little bullet that you just slap up there and let it go Because, like, obviously the vagina isn't as long as the rectum, so go at it.
Speaker 2:Our friends had a really interesting one as well, which was like I don't know if you've seen them the dragon eggs. And they come on like the chain sometimes as well. So instead of necessarily going for kind of like the length aspect, they go in with like one of these eggs which are still quite girthy and then they just pull them out and they get that kind of feeling. They get the good feelings from it being pulled out instead of trying to go in all the way, which is really interesting. That'd be interesting.
Speaker 1:That is interesting. Now I wonder what that is Like. Have you tried that one?
Speaker 2:I've not tried that toy, but we've done a similar thing. Like the feeling when I take out a big toy is one of the best feelings about it, because it, like I don't know, it's like a really fast stretch almost, because you've got gone kind of closed around the toy inside of you and then kind of just pull it out again and it's.
Speaker 1:It's a really good feeling I'm just sitting there thinking because, like, I've never tried the size play for myself, but I'm just imagining it's like when you hold a really long stretch from your hamstrings or something like that. I was about to say what are you going to say?
Speaker 3:Like shit, and I was like don't, don't, no, I wouldn't go there.
Speaker 2:You did. I was wondering where you were going, then, to be honest, but like you know, I was like oh, here we go.
Speaker 1:You hold that stretch in your hamstrings for ages and then, when you stand up, it feels like nice, warm and like blood starts flowing into it and I wonder is it the same sort of thing?
Speaker 5:it's a similar thing, I think yeah. It's like it feels like someone's like what? Literally someone is pulling something out of you, but like it feels like you're taking it's a release a release and then, like you're just left with like a I don't know, it's a nice, it's a feeling of I don't know satisfaction, it's a nice, it's a feeling of I don't know. Satisfaction. Yeah, it's quite hard to explain. It's like you kind of just like sometimes you just rest there and you're like in a different headspace.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Headspace. Talk to me about this subspace. Do you think that's an appropriate word to use when we're talking about, like, getting into that size? Play that real extreme size.
Speaker 2:I think it's definitely a version of subspace and I find, like the different kind of kinks that you do is a different version of subspace in each one, and like the different subspace you would let yourself drop into kind of as well. But it's quite an easy one and a nice one to drop into the subspace with the right person, because it's one that you also need to be really careful with, because if you can't kind of advocate for yourself when you've been stretched too much or the toy is too big or it's something like that, then it can get to the point where you actually hurt yourself. But like with us two playing, like we both know each other's tells really well at this point, so we're like okay, if moan goes from this to this, then that's not, that's not a good sound, that's like pull back a little bit a lot of trust and it's you know it's like it's like giving up control.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's kind of the one of the things that I really like about it. It's like, okay, I'm letting someone do this to me, like I'm trusting them to do it, essentially kind of not using me but using my body, and I'm just kind of like taking it, if that makes sense. Yeah, Um which allows me to yes.
Speaker 1:Is it so that allows you to go into that space, go into that head space?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and just completely relax and all of the good feelings are just kind of flowing and then, yeah, but you just have to have a lot of trust to be able to drop into it so that you're not, like you know, not going to get hurt essentially in the process, because I think it is one as well. That is very easy to go too far, like. I often find myself stretching too much and then being in pain. But I've, like willingly gone that far. I won't have dropped into subspace, especially in some places, like if we play at an event. I would never drop into a subspace at all. So I'm just like I need to be like on edge, like ready to stop if anything goes wrong, if I'm not, also, if I'm not in the kind of the headspace to drop in in an event, because it's not like the right kind of calm, relaxing environment yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:And also if it's with someone new, it's like I feel like you very rarely would drop into a subspace, because I think we can do it with each other because we know each other. Yeah, but I feel like if we ever were to do it with someone else, it would be more of a topping from the bottom kind of thing, Power, bottom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you'd be guiding them through it. You'd be guiding them through being the bottom in the situation.
Speaker 5:Yeah, Because everyone's different. I think so, even if they've done fisting and stretching before, they don't know. For example, if they've played with mischief, they don't know her tells or where her body is like, where her cervix is in relation to the rest of it.
Speaker 2:I think that's an interesting one, like with a lot of other kinks. You often sit down and have a chat beforehand and you do that whole kind of consent, chat with each other and talk about each other's bodies and where you're at physically and mentally. I think that's one thing that, with stretching, a lot of people don't think that you have to do because it's a sexual kind of you just go straight into it. I wonder, why that is though.
Speaker 2:Like, if you're going in about to like, do an impact scene with someone, everyone would be like, yeah, of course we've got to do a chat about you know what are your limits, what kind of things do you like? And I think it's really important that that's something that happens with kind of stretching and big toys as well, because it is a dangerous thing when you go. You are playing with extreme sizes and stuff.
Speaker 5:It might be because it's also maybe harder to talk about, like the specific things that you are okay with, because it's more of an internal thing.
Speaker 2:Like with impact play you can say oh, don't hit here, here or here and very easily point it out, whereas with stretching it might be more like well, my cervix is here I'll draw you a diagram it's sort of like once you're in there, you'll realize what they mean yeah, I also think it's like when to push through and when not to yeah like things and which maybe takes a few times of doing it before you actually know when is your like pain threshold, kind of thing?
Speaker 5:because are you outside of your comfort zone, or is this going to hurt you?
Speaker 2:yeah, like sometimes, when we do like we'll do what I call like a bit of a push, which is where, like I'm trying to increase the size of the thing that I'm stretching and they'll be like, so I kind of just have to think about and, beforehand, sit there and be like, okay, this is actually might not be very comfortable for a minute like this is going to take a longer time, we're going to have to prep more for this one, and then afterwards it's going to need more aftercare, like I'm going to need, you know, a minute to come down afterwards and not do anything for a while afterwards, have the cuddles you know, have that debrief in the chat afterwards, and I think, yeah, it's something you don't really hear a lot about with stretching is all of the kind of aftercare and the consent and everything beforehand. It's very much just its own thing.
Speaker 1:And I think that might be a little bit to do with the fact that there's not that much or there's not that many voices around talking about stretching and whatnot. I think that could be a big thing. You know, like in the kink world, there's literally a hundred thousand websites out there that tell you how to have that consent or how to talk about it, but within stretching there might be two or three there's not a lot out there out there in the world that are doing it.
Speaker 1:There is no literature. There's a lot of um, there's a lot of anal, male, homosexual-based literature, but there is absolutely no documentation at all around female stretching. And I wonder because of that, is that like bleeding into that space where these conversations aren't happening because nobody else is talking about it? Yeah, although quite clearly as you guys have said, there's a lot of people out there that are actually doing it and interested in it, and people probably don't know how to talk about it as well.
Speaker 5:Yeah, no one talks about how should you brief on this? Whereas if you're doing an impact scene, there's loads of places like you should ask them this, this and this, whereas in stretching, as you say, there's nothing, there's a lot less.
Speaker 2:But that's why our friend V actually started their event up, because she said there's nothing for female stretching or vaginal stretching out there and you know there's nowhere for people to go and try that in a comfortable space, there's nothing online about it and there was no events. I think it's the only.
Speaker 5:It was the only.
Speaker 2:It was the only the only uk event that did vaginal stretching and was very open about it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and the only one in europe. I think so at the time. I think now there's um off the back of their event.
Speaker 2:I have seen another one pop up yeah, in the uk but it was really like when they first started it, they were like there's just nothing for vaginal stretching, and it was one of their like huge, huge kinks and they put videos online and everything and it has so much interaction and they're just like there's clearly people are into it. Just no one talks about it.
Speaker 1:Well, this podcast has basically got, I'm going to say, at least a third of its numbers from the Sizeplay community. Really Wow, at least a third of its numbers From the Size Play community. Really, yeah, wow, at least a third of its numbers, and I would say at least 50% to 60% of our followers are from the Size Play community, because they're just, you know, they're craving information and there's nobody putting it out there.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you know there's a demand for it, but no one's supplying it as much, there you go, Jordan supply it.
Speaker 1:Well, doing my best, we're doing our best, because these guys are talking about.
Speaker 2:It's like yeah, in the other day I did a writing on on fetlife and I kind of just did like 10 tips for fisting and like the interaction from that was like people have been like, oh, thank you so much, that's really helpful. And people have approached me at events and been like you know, what would you say for this? How would you, you know, what would your advice be on this?
Speaker 4:I'm like, oh my gosh, people just want help yeah, and I was like giving it to them and it's stuff that comes really natural to us and I didn't even, I wouldn't even think of it as a tip yeah people just don't know, and like even stuff like what lou would you recommend?
Speaker 1:and like oh my gosh, okay we need to talk about that, because I listened to a couple of episodes of your podcast and I really want to get onto that. But before we do, I think on this little part of the conversation, as sexologists, we are doing a lot of damage around this area as well, where we put out this narrative that, oh, size isn't a thing, guys, don't need to worry about your size, nobody really cares about dick size, nobody really cares about size. But the literature that's out there suggests that over a quarter of women are actually into size. And then when you have a look at people who take things anally, a lot more people, a lot more people, a lot more than a quarter, are actually into size, especially when you get into that gay male space, as well.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of fucking people who are into size, but as sexologists, we downplay it, yes, and we're like, and I think we're downplaying it to try to feed into guys' egos, right? Yes, and that's like, and I think we're downplaying it to try to feed into guys' egos, right? Yes, and that's what we're doing really, but at the same point, I think maybe we're doing damage. Doing damage to certain subsects of the community who actually is intercised and they're sitting there and going.
Speaker 1:oh, actually, now I'm feeling a whole heap of shame because I do like that and I'm not getting that, and maybe that's what's leading into these lack of conversations around kink, or lack of visibility within that space, I think it's an interesting one because I think there is so much kind of especially guys are really worried about the size of their dick and stuff like that, and I for one, I'm not bothered, I don't really care like yeah how big someone's dick is, like if you can use it and you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and use your mouth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know there's a million other things, just yeah it doesn't have to be about that, and even as someone that is really into big toys and size, like size play and all stuff like that, that's not the the thing that I'm looking for, however, someone also being like okay, well, if you're into size play, we can do all these other things. Like you know, we can get the bigger toys if you, if you want.
Speaker 5:There's a million other things like I can use my hand, I can use my fist but you can be into both as well like you could, because it is a muscle you can enjoy size play, but still enjoy a smaller dick.
Speaker 2:I love like normal sex, like with no, you know, yeah, there doesn't have to be that aspect of size play to it, even though I absolutely, I absolutely love stretching. I like just having normal sex as well and it also makes it feel special, yeah, but I like I think there's so much around kind of like guys like dick size and everyone's kind of like can you enjoy normal sex? Like, are you too stretched out?
Speaker 2:that's one thing that I get like yeah, talk to me about that then because some people are like oh, how do you find normal sex when you've like, do you even enjoy it when you take all these big toys? I'm like, yeah, I love it, because obviously you go back, you know, to normal does go back, doesn't it? Yeah, it's not like ruined and stretched out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, men, it's not ruined or stretched out. It's not ruined, or stretched out.
Speaker 2:It's the same, I promise. Except, well, except right after a stretching scene Of course. So at that point, even then, sometimes it can still be quite.
Speaker 5:It goes back, because that's like our friend says after she's done fisting she finds her vagina's actually tightest just after. Just afterwards, because she's stretched out so, like the muscle's been, I guess, worked, so it's even stronger at that moment TMI.
Speaker 3:I've been told that about me as well, though. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Interesting. That's interesting, but I wonder from a physiological side of things. You've got a lot more blood flow in there and the muscles are sort of contracting down anyway and like when you do sort of get cool, like from any sort of muscle stretching, your muscles start tightening up naturally anyway don't they so? Yeah, it makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2:It's like I think there's just so much more to it, like, especially with stretching, that doesn't change how I enjoy normal sex, and like I don't need a person with a huge dick to satisfy that kind of, because they're two separate things. So stretching and big ties and fisting is all kind of one like that's my kink and then I can just take. Like have normal sex as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like adding it to the menu. It's not making that, only the menu.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Now tell me because we were talking about trust just before since getting into this has your relationship deepened because of it? That's a great question Thank you.
Speaker 5:I wrote it myself I didn't actually I don got dot points for me to remember things um I'd say, since going into the lifestyle, definitely, um, relationships got deeper and so I guess, as a part of that, stretching has meant our relationships got deeper, but I don't know if it's just the stretching side.
Speaker 2:I think kink has helped with our communication? Yeah, massively, because, like you do, you do just have to sit and chat about. You know everything and you do sit and talk about it and there's times that are not so glamorous, especially in stretching, like we've both found when we're stretching, there's times when they're not not sexy at all and you're both there like okay, this is the peak part of our relationship. Now, like I'm sat complaining about how sore I am and I can't move, and like and we've got lube everywhere you don't want to touch anything, we didn't get the right, especially when we started.
Speaker 5:We didn't have necessarily the right space and preparation. So, in terms of now, we always put down either we've got a splash blanket or we've got like a waterproof blanket, that's like similar to a tarp but not a tarp.
Speaker 3:All the noises from the tarp. No, it's like what's it made? Of what dead bodies are they wrapping up in it's? Just like a mat, it's a.
Speaker 5:PVC sheet and we find that really good because after wrapping up it's just like a mat, it's a pvc sheet, and we find that really good because after play we're just like right, we. Just wrap it all up and then goes in the shower and then, not that there is a mess, but there's usually lube everywhere it's kind of that like you don't want to touch as well you don't want to touch nothing things with lubey hands yeah, like using gloves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we always use gloves now and then you can just take the lube off gloves are a great idea.
Speaker 1:We'll get onto that as well, but post not clarity. Tell me about that. Like what were you thinking there?
Speaker 2:it's like that moment after, like you're all kind of done and you sat in like this mess, right, you're thinking like that was great, everything about that's great, I don't have any regrets, loved it. But like now I kind of sat here in our own mess. It's kind of disgusting.
Speaker 2:I'm so sore, like oh my gosh, just just in places honestly, I was like we played the other day um, actually me and our friend Ethan played at an event and he stretched me and then I waddled back to Sam right, and I was like I'm in so much pain, like regrets, you know, you're just like, oh my god, my life decisions, why did I do that? It was 100% worth it, like it was really really great. But I was so kind of just like, oh my gosh, what have I done? Like this is gonna hurt for days and then, oh I just, we just sit there. Sometimes afterwards I'm like this is gross, like what have we?
Speaker 3:done this is like we're new face over, honestly like.
Speaker 2:And then we both stood there like, hey, everything needs to go in the shower now. We're all covered in lube, and like the toys are covered in lube, everything. Oh, it's so gross, but that's kind of like, but it's a like feel, it's that moment just a few minutes after, though, where you're just starting like, okay, like I, really all I want to do is sit and cuddle and go into that kind of aftercare, like you know, relaxing space but we are absolutely filthy, like that's the one thing, with stretching, it's not like you know like maybe you might do like an impact scene, right, and you've done some nice like bruises, everyone's lovely and then you go into aftercare cuddles are all lovely it's like there's no cleanup needed.
Speaker 2:This is like a whole cleanup, it's like you need the hose from honestly honestly, it's like that's the kind of thing like we just sit there after. It's like, oh shit, here we go.
Speaker 1:Oh no, because that would impact your, your aftercare, though, wouldn't it?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's a whole another for a while yeah now we've got our cleanup process down.
Speaker 5:It's not an issue anymore like we just wrap it up, put in the shower and then we just put it in the shower like in the shower cuddles in the shower.
Speaker 2:It's all. It's a whole thing but it's yeah. At first that was like a whole having to work out what that process is going to be, because it's not entirely glamorous no even stretching isn't really the most sexy of sexy things, you know. It's like a very kind of like okay, go a little bit more back, a little bit in, a bit more. It's not that whole like. It's sexy because it turns us on, because that's our, our kink, but it's also isn't You're stereotypical sexy.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of time and there's a lot of pausing. There's a lot of how can I say it? There's a lot of down time. I suppose with it and when people are sitting there thinking about like those sexy spaces, it's like that real intense bang bang back and forward, move, move, move.
Speaker 2:But stretching you can't do that, and if you are doing that, you're going to end up with some injury? Yeah, and if you are doing that, you're going to end up with some injury, yeah, and we were saying, like you were saying, have you got a lot closer? I think we've had a lot more fun with this kink than a lot of other ones that we've done. Like I think we laugh a lot.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's not a serious kink. There's not a lot of like serious kinks.
Speaker 2:It's just having fun and messing about.
Speaker 5:I do feel that sometimes, when everyone talks about more serious kinks like Impact and Shibari can be quite serious, because they do need to be serious, and then we're just there waving our deal waving our deal.
Speaker 2:Those are our. We're like. I can take this whole thing, you know but it's a lot of fun and I think we've got a lot closer through that kind of fun side of it and being very comfortable with each other. Not looking sexy, because even now I can't that kind of fun side of it and being very comfortable with each other.
Speaker 2:Not looking the the sexy because, like even now, I can't wear a nice set, lingerie set, to do stretching because the lingerie set will be ruined like honestly one of the first times when we started getting into it I think it was at one of the stretch events that we were talking about I had like some gorgeous heels that I'd worn and they were like suede and made the mistake of wearing my suede shoes and I must have like knelt down like to be have you seen those fuck machines?
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, and I was doing one of those kept the heels on because I had a thing of keeping my heels on at that point and when we went home I was looking and they were just covered in lube, but because it was suede like they were ruined coming off. Yeah, so I was like you know what, gone with the sexy shoes, the lingerie, just all put to one side, like I will just be naked, like at least I can just go in the shower afterwards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, either that or get like a pvc fetish yeah, and then you're pretty good latex, pvc right sheen and timmy with two dollar lingerie two dollar yeah
Speaker 3:yeah, shane, do you have some good stuff? Yeah, they do, don't they?
Speaker 5:it's when we go to clubs and everyone's like, oh, where'd you get that from?
Speaker 2:and everyone's like from shane, yeah, that's one of the things I first realized when we got into this is like I went in I think that's my first few outfits I thought were like oh really like I went and kind of bought nice stuff. Then I asked other people where those are from and they're like sheen team you and. I was like oh right, everyone else is is doing that. They're like yeah, but like we have so many, we go to so many club nights, you can't have like a really expensive outfit every single time.
Speaker 1:And uh, yeah because I think that's that's like one of the big differences between like kink and swinging like swinging like people will be out there.
Speaker 5:It's like a fashion parade for some people, you know like they'll go all out and buy two honey brunette outfits for the night, and it's 1200 bucks gone and he's just like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:you know, 300 bucks on the tickets, 1200 on the outfit, it's a whole thing, yeah the guy's sitting there in his undies that he got from kmart Because he had to pay for the girls. Come on, they cost $600. Everyone looks skinny because they can't afford food anymore.
Speaker 3:Living off from two-minute noodles for the week.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's mad.
Speaker 1:All right let's talk technical stuff though, because we were talking a little bit about it with the tentacle toys. Yeah, um, and how the the hardness of them, the softness of them, the shape, the size, all that sort of stuff? Do you find that different toys work better for anal stuff, different toys work better for vaginal stuff? Like, what are we talking? Materials wise, all that sort of stuff, let's dive straight in there. There's a huge difference. Yeah, I would say there's a huge difference in terms of material trial and what are we?
Speaker 2:talking materials-wise, all that sort of stuff, let's dive straight in there.
Speaker 5:There's a huge difference. I'd say yeah, I would say there's a huge difference In terms of material Trial and error very much. In terms of material, you want the higher-grade silicone toys. Yeah.
Speaker 5:That's what we've found Like. At a certain point we have bought cheaper toys and they're made of I don't know what it is, but and they're made of, I don't know what it is, but it's a silicon that's always sticky until you've got lube on it. And until you've got lube on it it's just a bit annoying, whereas the higher grade stuff like doesn't feel sticky. It sounds bad to say to go to buy the better stuff.
Speaker 2:But it is one of those cases where, if you actually invest in the toys you have, they last longer. They're better. They don't like like stick to everything and you'll use it more because it's more appealing to use rather than something that's got like everything, like stuck to it yeah, but then in terms of differences, I'd say, for vagina you prefer like a more textured toy, don't you like?
Speaker 5:um? Whereas in anal I prefer a smoother toy, so it's less of the texture and it's more of the fullness, whereas vaginally it's more of a combination it's like that drag, like.
Speaker 2:I really like the draggy feeling of like a textured toy, whereas that in in your butt is not not the one.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's not bad but it's not as pleasurable should we say whereas a smooth, completely smooth toy would be, because you'd still get the quick pull out release, but without the dragginess yeah, and also like the kind of the softness of the toy as well.
Speaker 2:Like you'll see, when you're getting toys it often says what kind of softness you want yeah, firmness level firmness like a 50 soft 75 yeah, yeah 100 yeah and that is a lot of trial and error like what do you like personally? But I've kind of found that I like the softer toys not really softer though, it's like pushing rope.
Speaker 1:But um you can take loads, because it's just like squishing in, yeah, squishing up, but it's good, because it squishes and that makes it fold.
Speaker 5:That's when it folds.
Speaker 2:So I find that I like kind of the softer side of things, just so that it does fold and then you can get, especially with longer ones, yeah, it depends on the shape as well, because some toys won't fold because it's just a big round block that's quite structured, where some of the more tentacles have.
Speaker 3:no, I keep thinking. When you said block, I was like Lego, lego block.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to fold the Hulk. There's no way that thing's folding. No, maybe a tip of that could, but For example yeah, that Hulk probably won't fold even if you get the softest setting, they're quite flat as well on the top.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, so I well on the top.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I found like the flat ones on the top are really good because they kind of this is gonna sound weird, but like they squish a bit more as opposed to just prodding, because we have, like, one of my favorite ones is I think it's what's it called like diablo's finger or something and it's like got this.
Speaker 1:I love the names they come up with the best names right?
Speaker 2:um, it's kind of pointy on the top, so as soon as that goes in, even though it's quite squishy, it just pokes and I'm like, oh no, that's not the one, like that's not comfortable.
Speaker 5:Whereas in anal I find it better to have it more pointed, because then it will just build up slightly more which I think is easier than if you have a round toy.
Speaker 2:Going straight into the anus is quite can be more difficult you want that more taper, yeah, yeah, especially when you're starting out the tapers are better for all of it as well, because it does just let you kind of build up, as opposed to like some of them like you can see these ones here just they're all the same size going straight in, so you have to take that size right from the start, yeah, whereas some of them like you can see these ones here just they're all the same size going straight in, so you have to take that size right from the start.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whereas some of them especially can get some like cone shaped ones. They're really good for practicing stretching because you can just build it as you go for beginners, would you recommend the pump up ones.
Speaker 3:You know the pump up.
Speaker 2:Some of them are meant to be really good actually I think like we haven't done too much of the pump up stuff. We've gone from like the smaller kind of tapered ones and then worked up through that kind of size or gone from normal kind of dildo kind of shape for a lot of them, so the top's kind of rounded, instead of trying to go for like I don't know if you've seen the like horse cock kind of shapes and they're essentially just flat on the top, yeah, um, which I think feel great. But you do have to go through that like initial stretch straight away.
Speaker 1:It doesn't build up to it see, because the problem with the pump up ones and I agree they're like, they're great, but a lot of them are made with plastics that is true, so like that plastic, as soon as it starts getting warm with inside the body it starts leaching out plastic chemicals which is like obviously a toxin.
Speaker 1:So you're starting to look at like all sorts and vaginally as well you're starting to look at all sorts of different infections because of those toxins. But anally if you use them, and not all of them, but 90% of them are made from these plastics and anally. If you're using it, there's micropores, so bacteria is going to get into it and you just can't get it out.
Speaker 5:Yeah so that's the problem yeah, it's the absorb, like the more expensive toys won't absorb.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what we found. A lot of people have told us with the like this almost what's it like, what's it called? It's not blood bonded, but it's almost that Fluid bonded yeah like fluid bonding, when you have a cheaper toy and they absorb everything, so you can't use it with multiple people for a start. Like that is your toy then, but also then it does just build up like bacteria and things like that.
Speaker 1:And yeah, bb like bacteria and things like that. And yeah, bb, and that's the thing I love about like the high platinum grade silicon is that like these ones from Hanky's is, you can actually, when you're finished with them, go and put them in a pot of fucking boiling water.
Speaker 3:if you can find a pot that's big enough you know, yeah, it's going to be a big pot for the Hulk.
Speaker 1:But once you put them in there and you boil them down, all the bacteria is off them because there's no pores in there, but like the, cheaper ones. You can't even put them in the boiling water because they're just going to melt.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Because, like that stickiness is that See if your dildo is like up to scratch and put it in boiling water. If it melts, then you need a new one. You've got to give it a sniff test.
Speaker 1:If it smells when you open melts, then you need a new one. You got to give it a sniff test.
Speaker 2:If it smells when you can smell it, even when you don't open it, like if you smell it at any point, that's, that's a problem you know we found, like we have, especially when we were first starting out, sometimes got cheaper ones to see whether that's something we were into like okay, before we invest in, like you know, the bigger ones, the big toys are going to cost us fortune.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are we into big toys, like yeah let's get a cheaper one, see whether it's something we're interested in, and some of them you know. You can get some that are better quality, I guess, depending where you get them from, but the difference in investing in a good toy is like ridiculous rolls away and like you can touch them and they.
Speaker 2:It's that tacky feeling that I really hate when you get a cheap, like a really cheap toy and you're like, oh, it's sticking and stick to everything and like I hate it, whereas the other ones are quite like. These ones, don't you know they're not tacky at all yeah which is yeah now, these ones are great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely fantastic. Yeah, they're great for throwing at people as well.
Speaker 3:They can knock you out though.
Speaker 1:They're heavy, aren't?
Speaker 2:they. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean that one, I reckon that's. What about three or four kilos?
Speaker 3:It's the size of my thigh oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, take that to CrossFit, it may get in here.
Speaker 5:Very interesting, though, when we move to Australia. Yeah, we had them all in our bags we were almost overweight, but we just got through yeah because, like we were sort of emigrating as well, so we're taking all of our life possessions and then, which wasn't a lot we didn't have a lot 423 bags yeah and we have one full of sex stuff like a whole bag and we're going through the airport like if anyone checks this, they're going to be so confused. Did they pull you up? No, but I was really nervous.
Speaker 1:There's a good story there. This just went missing, shit.
Speaker 5:I was really nervous that they were going to pull us up, because last time I came to Australia with my family we got pulled up because we had a rubber ball in one of our bags which obviously came up as this block, so they pulled everything out. It's like they're gonna do that.
Speaker 2:They're gonna see this like giant weight in our bags and pull it out and I'm like like we have, like all our tentacles, like loads of lube they probably just looked at it and be like okay, let's just close it up.
Speaker 2:Well, even with, like our other kink stuff, like we've got floggers, whips, like chain stuff, all like all in our bag and I was like, okay, put it all on the top, just so if they do open the bag they can see it and then they can close it and put it like they can be. Like yeah, that's what it was. It's like oh, I was so nervous. We're watching it going through the airport like that is all of our sex stuff in there and it weighs a ton. Like it was ridiculous.
Speaker 3:Imagine that in an Australian border show it just opens up Just loads of silicone ties weighing an absolute.
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, it was ridiculous, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:Just imagine somebody's face. It's like some new kid who's first up on Border Force, who's just first day there.
Speaker 3:It opens up your head.
Speaker 2:Straight out of high school just like oh my fucking God, Okay, yeah, just go, I actually have read loads of interesting stuff about taking sex toys through airports and it's like if you're taking them through, you should put them in like a ziploc bag on the top, right on the top of your bag, so if they open it they can see it straight away, like they don't have to touch it or anything. They know what it is. You can just carry on like put it through and everyone's like, just make it accessible and then they don't have to look for it, they see it as soon as it is and just like yeah, carry on see, I do the opposite.
Speaker 1:I just you know, I believe you're one of those, just like lube all over and I just like it's just been used.
Speaker 3:And now you've touched it, fucker, that's your line, like that's your own fault as well. I'm never traveling with you. If we go on a holiday, everybody, I'm like I'm, I'm not going with Jordan, see.
Speaker 1:I'll put it in your bag, just for your shit.
Speaker 3:You would be, and then did you pack your own bag. Yes, what's this? Fucking Jordan? Oh gosh.
Speaker 1:Now I wanted to get onto lube.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because lube is one of those things that, within the space, everybody's got their own blend. Everybody's got their own thing that they really love working with. Some people mix it up, some people don't. Some people have got a very specific product. What's your go-to and does it change for vaginal or anal?
Speaker 2:A little bit, but not that much.
Speaker 5:Not that much. We use the same type of lube, so we use powdered lube what's the one we use?
Speaker 2:we have x lube we have, but I'm not sure whether that's an australian thing or not, because we brought that over, but you have something very similar yeah, there's a lot of very similar powdered lube like a big tub of powdered lube.
Speaker 5:I think, from what I've heard, most of them like people don't. Some people might have a preference, but I've not seen a big enough difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 5:But we just go on a different blend. So for anal we probably use a thicker blend. Yeah, a thicker blend.
Speaker 2:But both of them are very stretchy and stringy, so like if it's not stringy, then it's not thick enough. Like if it's watery then we're just like that's, it's not gonna do. It's gonna dry out really quick, like if it's really stringy, although it's like kind of a little bit like you, kind of like the stringiness yeah, you don't like I'm I hate it. I think it's so gross, but I'm like I know this is necessary, like we need it that's how we do the blend.
Speaker 5:If you don't like it, it's probably the right thickness yeah, honestly it's I.
Speaker 2:I really don't like the string, I don't like how it looks or anything. I'm like, oh, that's so gross. But you really you kind of like that stuff.
Speaker 5:But I think yeah, I think I'd always recommend the powdered lube it goes a lot further Different brands all do similar things, but I think the powdered lube just allows you to get that extra bit of thickness to it.
Speaker 1:We kind of do so that's a lube that you actually mix up yourself, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you get a bottle and you put your water in it and then they've generally got a mix that they suggest on the back. So we do that one and then work from there, just adding a little bit, shaking it up, seeing how it looks, also trying it as well. So we'll play with it and be like that could have done with a little, you know yeah.
Speaker 3:So then, if she doesn't like it, you know, yeah there you go and yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 2:It is just trial and error, like we've found a happy medium now where we're like, okay, kind of know what it's meant to look like. So if we kind of we've mixed it all up and you have to wait a few hours before it kind of settles and everything, and then if we play with it and I'm like we could do a little more here and you just tip a bit more in and remix it, and it goes a long way as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see all of these things. When you combine them all in, it just means that like this size play, you can't.
Speaker 3:You need to block out a whole day?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like it's almost like a day-long ritual, isn't it? You know, like you have to sit there and you have to get your head into the right space. You have to prep your lube, you have to prep the room that you're going to be in. You've got to figure out how you're going to get from the bed to the shower, because if you've got lube all over your hands and you've got round doorknobs, you are fucked you might get out of bed, yeah you like got to waddle back to the bathroom, it's no, it is like it does take a longer time than just like just having sex.
Speaker 2:But I think a lot of kinks are like that. You really need to take the time to set up, and especially if you're serious about what it is you're doing. But yeah, we kind of take not loads of time, but it will be more as well. I'd say. Now we've got the setup down.
Speaker 5:I think that's the thing. First time around, it takes you a while, especially if you have to make your lube on the day. But now we've got into the situation that we'll just make lube when we get a spare hour.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll almost like batch, make lube.
Speaker 5:We don't have to do it that often, but like, if we're like, oh, what should we do?
Speaker 1:and like oh, we probably need some more lube, so we'll make some on a random. Should we take dogs for a walk, watch a movie or just make some lube?
Speaker 3:oh at the end of meal prep, let's prep lube no honestly, it looks a bit dodgy.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we have all these bottles like lined up and then this like white powder that generally goes everywhere as well, whilst we're trying to do it so there's lube everywhere, powder all over the top, and you're just like if someone walked in, now it's easy enough. I mean, once we've got that sorted and you've kind of got how it's going to work for you, yeah but it is like it's stretching isn't just a 10 minute like no quick, quick, like sex and then done it's like generally a long depends how close you have stuff on hand.
Speaker 5:I guess, like we always have gloves very close by now and our blankets are never far away that we use. Yeah, so like we could be like, oh, let's do some stretching and it might take us 10 minutes, but I can see why most people would take longer if we're stretching with ties generally it takes longer.
Speaker 2:If I'm just being fisted, it could be something that's like we're halfway through sex and I can't. I want to be fisted now yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's um.
Speaker 1:It's one of those things that you sort of play with. You try you move on from different things. It's like regular penis and vagina sex. There's not much exploration to it.
Speaker 5:It's like straight there.
Speaker 1:But size play is like a bit of a journey, yeah. You know, you're constantly moving through things, seeing how stuff goes.
Speaker 2:Seeing how it works for you and what doesn't work. And you know even things like what do we like having around? Do you want music on or do you? Want to be able to communicate, you know.
Speaker 5:Do you want to have sex?
Speaker 2:afterwards, or do you want music on, or do you want to be able to communicate? You know, like, do you want to have sex afterwards or do you want to? Yeah, do you want it to be the end of play or the start of play? Yeah, like even stuff like seeing each other's face, because obviously, depending what position you're in, will depend whether you can see someone's face, and if they can't talk to you or hear you properly, then how are you going to communicate when the thing's not right? Stuff like that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Which I think is really interesting because we find, like I have so I have hearing difficulties, so when I'm we have music on in the background or in a club environment we have to fully talk about like, okay, how are we going to communicate during this? How are we going to kind of you know signal if something's not right?
Speaker 5:if I want to stop, what are we going to do afterwards?
Speaker 2:all that kind of stuff it's like really interesting top tip megaphone. That's all you need just right in the middle of the club. Is this enough?
Speaker 1:we like one of the people on the back of the rowing boats yeah yeah yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:Uh, it was quite. It's interesting, it's for sure, like a lot of it isn't a whole journey trying to work out what works for you and stuff like that, and then also going back to like headspace.
Speaker 5:sometimes mentally, you can't communicate when you're doing, you can't communicate with words, shall I say? Yeah. Because your brain's just like well, I'm just full. This is all I can think about right now. So you can't actually speak. So we sometimes use a tap-out system as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll tap out a lot of the time, so if something's too much, I'll just tap and then that's it. It's almost like calling Red in a scene, but it could be too much.
Speaker 5:Maybe pain, but also just like okay, I'm done now, I'm just done, I've had enough orgasms Never.
Speaker 1:Is that? Even a thing.
Speaker 3:I think it's a.
Speaker 1:thing a thing. I think it's a thing, the um. I think there's. There's one sort of like differentiation that I've been coming up against a lot lately, which is there is a certain sect of the size play community that are into this whole ruined thing, um, which is very interesting psychological play, right, like the idea of a body modification not permanently stretching a vagina or an anus because, of that, that is, I don't know whether even that's like a different episode that we've going to jump onto.
Speaker 1:do you guys want to talk to that, or can you even talk to that I?
Speaker 5:don't really know where we would go with that one like that's so it's a deep and dark one that is deep and dark, like being yeah, like we haven't got experience of it ourselves, but we've definitely seen people who have like. But we've definitely seen people who have, like they've done it, especially more men that we've met, who do this so much that their bodies have changed for it, like they're in turn, like they've shifted their internals around, like maybe slightly, or some more significantly, and you're like wow and I think there's a lot of the top energy as well that a lot of people get off on the idea of ruining someone yeah whether that be actually like actually changing and I don't want to say damaging, but, like you know, like actually causing someone to kind of change or hurt themselves.
Speaker 5:I don't know how you would want to put it.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of power play yeah it's a lot of kind of that mental side of it as well, I think, for not just the bottom but the top. Who would enjoy doing that to someone?
Speaker 5:It's like physically they don't want to, but the mental idea that they are doing that.
Speaker 2:It's like even our friend Brett gets into a very kind of he he never would hurt someone, um, or want to, but his headspace is like I want to like push you as far as I possibly can, and that's what he really gets off on, which kind of, for a while, was something that I really got off on as well, was like I want to be pushed until breaking point and that's like like until I absolutely have to tap out and you're just a mess and I would, I would, I would honestly afterwards not be able to think or move like I would just be there like, oh my gosh, I've been pushed so far and like now, we like we don't really do that as much.
Speaker 2:I think he's the only person that I've yeah done it with was that friend? But yeah, such an interesting kind of way to like want to push yourself that far, like almost past your limit, and be okay with that it almost becomes like a different kink entirely doesn't it is. It's like its own. Yeah, it's its own. Kink is like wanting wanting to break someone or wanting to push them so far, and really it's the same thing completely. We need to do another episode?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's going to write down another episode. Talking about that intersection between kink, between stretching you have organised an event, probably the first one I've seen here in Perth. That is stretch related. Stretch related Talk to us about that, because this is fascinating and I do need to come.
Speaker 2:Okay, Come to the event. I was like where are you going?
Speaker 3:with that Charging phone? Not right now.
Speaker 1:Let me take you five seconds.
Speaker 3:I can't deal right now with him.
Speaker 2:This event kind of came from our love for stretching, really, because there wasn't a space for us to do it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so it's not necessarily a dedicated stretching event, but we kind of wanted to do an event for kinks with sexual play in them. Okay.
Speaker 2:That's where it kind of stemmed from.
Speaker 5:A lot of our kink, whether it is stretching or if we do do impact or other things. It's more of that. We like to have that sexual aspect to whatever we are doing, so like orgasm control as well, stuff like that. And just because of the way the kink scene and venues work in perth, we found it a lot more difficult to do there's either kind of the swinging or the kink yeah, they don't overlap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's not that overlap or crossover and because stretching is such a big kink of ours, we're like, oh, there's not a place where we can go and do that in public, and we're kind of exhibitionists a little bit as well. I'd say so like showing people, like educating people on it.
Speaker 2:I want people to ask me questions you know, make people go wow yeah, I want to make people be like, oh my god, that's so cool and there just wasn't a space for it. So we were like why don't we just like it's been on our minds for a while, like why don't we just do a crossover event for all those kind of kinks that can't have that sexual aspect, or even people who are more swingers but they want to try and spice things up a little bit and there's not really a space to explore that other than at home.
Speaker 2:So yeah we kind of were like let's do an event. So yeah, it's called Mayhem, we're going to be doing Mayhem. His name gets used for once.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Love it. We've got to do a mischief one sometime as well, but all right. So where is it? It has the dates Mayhem.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it gives us dates. So it's at Infusion Club, which is in Belmont. Yeah, Fusion Club, which is in Belmont. Yeah, I think so, and it's on the 15th of August. So it's Friday, 15th of August.
Speaker 2:It's Friday night.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which is exciting because we were going to have it on Wednesday for a while and then we were like no, we'll just go Go big or go home Friday night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go big or go home. Well, if you're not going, big.
Speaker 5:You might as well fucking stay home, right, um, but yeah, so it should be good.
Speaker 2:We're gonna do a few demos, I think yeah, we're gonna be doing a stretching demo there, which will be really good that'll be exciting to see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm gonna put a few games, do some sort of games as well I think just like light-hearted stuff get people in the mood, so we're gonna do like a probably a sibian game of some sort and get people, yeah, kind of just get everyone chatting and involved, and it's not going to be a dead serious night, there's just going to be demos on for people to see. We're going to try and cater to as many kinks as we can, yeah, but also give the swinging community a place as well, because we want to kind of get rid of that judgment between each group.
Speaker 3:I love that you know now it can happen in the same space. So where can people find this event if they're interested?
Speaker 2:So we have on our Instagram, which is ministryofmischief, we have that up there and the link is on there as well, on our Instagram.
Speaker 5:It's also on FetLife, which is ministrymischief.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know of we we have. So you first have to get the consent form, which we have, and you fill that out and then, once that's filled out, then we send the ticket link to you, because we kind of vetting and making sure everyone knows what they're getting into before they just kind of come on.
Speaker 5:yeah, so we are vetting people, but it's not necessarily vetting people and what they look like, it's more just making sure everyone's the same Legit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, legit.
Speaker 5:Everyone knows what's going on.
Speaker 2:No one's going to be shocked when they get there, when they walk in and people are doing a stretching scene in the middle of the thing, no one's going to be like oh, my God, somebody's going to be throwing a Bible at you or something like that, yeah, like, just yeah.
Speaker 2:We're betting completely just on what people are like like, not what people look like, because we're totally against that. I'm like I don't care what everyone looks like, we just want everyone to know what they're getting into and follow the consent rules that we've kind of put in place. So once you've done that, we just send the ticket link out. And yeah, it's going to be a really good night.
Speaker 1:I'm excited we're going to have to put those links in the show notes.
Speaker 2:Yep oh yeah, cool.
Speaker 1:This has been amazing Mischief. Mayhem, let's do this again.
Speaker 5:I've loved it.
Speaker 1:Thank you you guys can come back and talk about anything whenever you want, however you want, just make sure I'm awake and Tasha's here, jordan always messages me like three days before, then two days and one day remember this time, this time I'm always late. No, you're not, you're not.
Speaker 3:You're pretty good actually.
Speaker 1:One minute late. Yeah, one minute late, that's all right. Yeah, it's better than being one minute early.
Speaker 3:He always tells me half an hour earlier now. Yeah, I do yeah, I do the same with.
Speaker 5:Misschief, we have to be there quarter past, but we have to be there half past.
Speaker 1:I do the exact same thing with my wife. It just works. I give her a three hour window.
Speaker 3:She's absolutely useless. I'm not that bad. I'm only half an hour window.
Speaker 5:It's like when you got to the airport on the time I told you to get there once and you're like the flight's not for another hour.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was so confused.
Speaker 1:He's just giving you time to get your big dildo-laden case up the stairs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my case up the stairs all the silicone in it.
Speaker 3:Lucky there's lifts and escalators.
Speaker 1:I love it. On that note, guys, thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you, and we'll catch you next week, see ya. And that's a wrap on our 100th episode of Super Sex. Wow, I'm honestly feeling a little bit emotional about that. Actually, to every one of you who's listened, shared, messaged, rated, reviewed or just quietly binged every episode while you're at work or doing the dishes that's you, nick, thank you. You're at work or doing the dishes that's you, nick, thank you.
Speaker 1:This podcast exists because of your curiosity, your openness and your beautiful, horny, human desire to learn more about sex, relationships and everything in between. A massive thank you to Mischief and Mayhem from the Ministry of Mischief for helping us celebrate this milestone in the most deliciously on-brand way possible. Their honesty, their wit and depth has made this one unforgettable. But I do want to take a moment to send some real love to my former co-host, sherman. Want to take a moment to send some real love to my former co-host Sherman. He's not on the pod anymore, but it was his energy, his support and that totally unfiltered vibe of his that helped to launch this show into what it is today. I love you, buddy. And this celebration wouldn't feel complete without acknowledging how much of this is thanks to you Now if you are in Perth or you're up for a little sexy adventure and airplane flight.
Speaker 1:Don't miss Mayhem on August 15th, ministry of Mischief's big event. It's going to be bold, it's going to be playful and I bet it's going to be packed with incredible community vibes. I do know for a fact that the tickets are going fast, so hit the link in the bio to grab yours now. And yeah, here's to the next 100 episodes, the wild ride ahead and to all of us growing, stretching and staying super sexy together. Stay curious, stay kind and, as always, stay super sexy.
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