Quickie: Does Porn Help or Hurt Your Sex Life?

Does watching porn help or hurt your sex life? It's a question that's plagued bedrooms, relationships, and internet browsers for decades. According to groundbreaking research involving 100,000 participants, the answer shifts dramatically depending on your gender.

Drawing from a landmark 2023 study published in Psychological Medicine, we take you on a fascinating journey through the surprising science of pornography's effects on sexual performance. For men, the findings are sobering – increased porn consumption correlates with decreased sexual confidence, poorer functioning, and lower partner satisfaction. The culprit? "Threatening upward comparisons" where men measure themselves against the unrealistic standards portrayed in adult content. It's like watching Olympic athletes and feeling inadequate during your gym workout.

The plot twist comes when examining women's experiences. Female participants who consumed more pornography actually reported better sexual outcomes across the board – higher confidence, improved functioning, and often more satisfied partners. Unlike men, women typically approached porn as educational and inspirational rather than comparative, using it to discover preferences and expand their sexual repertoire.

What does this mean for your relationship with adult content? The effects, while statistically significant, were subtle rather than dramatic. The key takeaway isn't about quitting cold turkey or doubling your consumption – it's about mindfulness. Understanding how porn influences your specific sexual confidence and relationship satisfaction allows you to make intentional choices about what, when, and how much you watch.

Whether you're curious about the science of sexuality, navigating relationship challenges, or simply interested in understanding modern intimacy better, this episode offers evidence-based insights without judgment. Share your thoughts with us on social media or visit jordanwalkerrs.com for more resources on enhancing your intimate connections through knowledge and understanding.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro: The Porn Question
• 1:02 The Massive Research Study
• 1:38 Men's Experience: More Porn, More Problems
• 4:06 Women's Response: Better Sexual Performance
• 5:39 Key Takeaways and Practical Advice
• 9:06 Episode Wrap-Up and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

All right, friends, let's talk porno, and not in a clear your browser history kind of way. No, no shame. Here we're getting sciencey with it today, diving into one of the biggest sex questions of the 21st century Is porn ruining your sex life or is it making it better? Ruining your sex life or is it making it better? And spoiler alert, according to a massive 100,000 person study published in Psychological Medicine in 2023, the answer is it depends. Or, specifically, it depends on your gender or, more accurately, your relationship with what's going on downstairs. So buckle up or unzip. I don't know what you're into and let's dig into it Now before we start.

Speaker 1: 1:02

This episode is based on a very longitudinal study by Sommet and Barron in 2023. Yes, we're citing our sources, like the responsible horny nerds that we are, these researchers? Well, they teamed up with a mega popular French YouTuber to study over 100,000 young people over the course of several years. Think of it a bit like Love Island of research Sexy, dramatic and full of unexpected twists. Now the researchers wanted to know how does porn use impact three big areas of sexual performance? The first area was sexual self-competence, aka do I think I'm good in bed? The second was sexual functioning, which really means desire, arousal orgasms. You know the fun stuff. The third was partner reported satisfaction, as in is my partner vibing or are they just lying to my face? Is my partner vibing or are they just lying to my face? And here's where it gets juicy.

Speaker 1: 2:08

For dudes, more porn equals more problems. Let's not beat around the bush Unless it's your thing, of course Because for young men, this study found that more porn use was linked to worse sexual performance across the board. We're talking lower confidence, worse functioning and less partner satisfaction. Why? Well, think about it. Porn is like the Marvel Cinematic Universe of sex Explosions, unrealistic bodies, no plot. If you're constantly comparing your real life sex to a professionally lit 27 minute gangbang scene with six edits per minute, of course, you are going to feel like your amateur hour isn't quite cutting it. It's like watching the Olympics and then being disappointed when you go on your trip to the treadmill. In fact, for men, porn may be fueling what researchers are starting to call threatening upward comparisons. Translation Watching porn stars with 10-inch longs and stamina that rivals a racehorse can make you feel like you're coming up short, even if your partner is perfectly happy with the main event that you're putting out there. Plus, some dudes use porn as their primary sexual script, so they end up skipping foreplay, going full throttle and wondering why their partner isn't moaning like a siren Spoiler. That's not how most people get off and it's not foreplay if you're just poking around like you're scrolling Netflix looking for a show, looking for a show.

Speaker 1: 4:02

Now, for the ladies, it's a totally different story. Here's the twist Women who watch more porn actually reported better yes, I said better sexual performance. That's right More confidence, better functioning and, in some cases, happier partners. Who saw that one coming? Well, apparently she did Twice, no-transcript.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Well, a few reasons. First, women aren't typically bombarded with performance expectations in porn the way that men are. When women watch porn especially stuff they've chosen that aligns with their preferences either lesbian porn, ethical porn, softcore or kink that turns them on it can actually boost curiosity, teach them some new skills and expand their sexual repertoire. Think of it like an online masterclass, except instead of Gordon Ramsay yelling at raw chicken, it's a tutorial on how to give great head or finally figure out what kind of touch you actually like. Women in the study seem to take the sexy parts and leave their insecurity at the door Like, oh, I can do that or I want to try that Rather than ugh. I just don't measure up.

Speaker 1: 5:37

So what does all this mean? Well, let's strip it back and make sensitive findings. If you're a man and you're struggling with sexual confidence, function or connection with your partner, porn might not be helping and it could actually be hurting. Reducing your consumption or being more mindful about what you watch and why might give your real-life sex some breathing room to thrive. It's not about quitting cold turkey, unless you want to, but maybe swap that 11pm solo scroll for some actual partner play or just better quality, ethical, relatable porn.

Speaker 1: 6:20

Now, if you're a woman and you're feeling curious or stuck sexually, porn might be a tool, not a trap. Watching with intention, exploring new content or even sharing it with your partner could open up new pathways to pleasure. Think of it like watching a cooking show You're not trying to recreate the exact same souffle, but you might get inspired to spice things up at home in your own way. But of course, let's not oversell it. Here's the kicker. Even though these findings are based on a huge sample, the effects were relatively small, like. We're not talking about porn turning people into sex gods or ruining their junk overnight. The changes were real, but subtle. So no, this isn't about panic or prescriptions. It's more like, hey, let's be a bit more intentional with our porn habits rather than delete all your bookmarks or you'll die alone and with a limp dick. And remember, correlation isn't causation. While porn use was linked to different sexual outcomes over time, we can't say for certain that watching porn caused the changes. There's still room for more research here, especially with more diverse samples and cultural context. Alright, so let's wrap it up.

Speaker 1: 7:53

Here's your three takeaways from today's quickie. For men, heavy porn use might chip away at your confidence, your bonus and your partner's satisfaction. If you're feeling off, maybe take a little porn pause and see what shifts. For women, porn could actually boost sexual confidence and your enjoyment, especially if you are choosing the content that aligns with your values and your curiosities. The final thing is there's no one size fits all. Porn isn't inherently good or bad. It's all about how you are using it and how it fits into your sex life, your mindset and your relationships. So is porn helping or hurting your sex life? That, my friend, is a question that only you and maybe your partner can answer. But at least now you've got the science and a few crappy jokes to help you figure it out, a few crappy jokes to help you figure it out. And that, my friends, is your quickie for today.

Speaker 1: 9:06

I told you it'd be satisfying, but if you love this episode and want more brainy, blush-worthy conversations about sex and relationships, come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. Just search SuperX Podcast or Jordan Walker Sexology. I've got plenty more where this one came from. But if you want to seriously level up your bedroom game, head to jordanwalkerrsccom for tips, tricks and ways that we can work together. And if you're a parent thinking, dear God, let my kid get better sex ed than I did. Check out. You Won't Learn this at schoolcom. I've got workshops, resources and the one-on-one support to raise sexually confident and emotionally intelligent humans. Stay curious, stay kind and stay turned on to learning about sex and relationships. See you next time for a super sex quickie.