Super Sex
This is an 18+ podcast!
Welcome to Supersex—the podcast where you get to dive into all things sex and relationships without it ever getting boring!
Ever wondered how talking about sex could actually be fun? Well, here’s where you find out. We’ve got a queer guy and a straight dude ready to dish out the tea, share the cringey moments, and keep it as real (and hilarious) as it gets.
Every episode is packed with the good stuff—the latest research, wild stories, and a ton of laughs, so you get to learn about sex and relationships without feeling like you're in a classroom.
Curious about what’s new in sexual health? Need advice on navigating the dating jungle? Or maybe you just wanna hear about someone else’s relationship fails to feel better about your own? We got you!
From first dates to kink, we're breaking down the science and making it all relatable to you so you can implement the good stuff into your sex life and get rid of the bad.
Expect personal stories, guest experts, and, of course, a bunch of jokes. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even rethink a few things about love and intimacy.
So tune in, because you deserve to have fun while figuring out this whole sex and relationship thing!
Super Sex
SuperSex Reheated: Episode 15: Fisting - A Deep Dive
Ever wondered why certain taboo conversations create such powerful connections? Our deep dive into fisting proved to be one of our most resonant episodes ever - not because of shock value, but because it explored something rarely discussed with genuine curiosity, practical wisdom, and profound respect.
From historical origins to modern practice, we peel back the layers of this misunderstood intimate act. Turns out that fisting isn't actually about forming a fist at all - just one of many myths we debunk along the way. Beyond the mechanics (which yes, we cover thoroughly), we explore why practices requiring extraordinary patience, trust and communication often build the deepest connections between partners.
The psychology fascinates: what draws people to explore sensations that seem extreme? How does vulnerability transform into power? What happens when we push beyond our comfort zones with someone we trust completely? These questions resonate whether or not this particular practice appeals to you.
We don't shy away from practical guidance either - proper preparation, safety considerations, hygiene practices, and most importantly, the art of aftercare both physical and emotional. Every step emphasizes consent, communication, and genuine connection.
Whether you're merely curious, actively interested, or simply appreciate honest conversations about sexuality, this episode offers something valuable: permission to approach the taboo with openness rather than judgment. After all, understanding what draws others to experiences different from our own is how we build empathy in all areas of life.
Hey guys, welcome back to Super Sex. Reheated the part of the podcast where we dust off one of your absolute favourites, pop it in the microwave and serve it up hot all over again, and wow, this one really packed a punch. Sorry, I had to put that one in there. Our deep dive into fisting wasn't just popular because it had shock value. It resonated because it blended curiosity, myth-busting and intimacy in a way few conversations about sex ever do.
Speaker 1:From a sexological perspective, people crave clarity on the things they've heard whispered about but never explained, and fisting sits right at the intersection of fear, fascination and fantasy. Listeners love that. We didn't just talk about mechanics, though yes, lube was discussed in mouthwatering detail. We explored the psychology why practices that require patience, trust and communication often build the deepest intimacy. We broke down the difference between porn myths and lived reality, and we gave people permission to ask could this actually be for me? That combination of taboo subject plus practical guidance, plus human warmth is why this episode struck such a chord. So, whether you're brand new to the idea or already curious, let's reheat one of the boldest super sex conversations that we've ever had. Hey to all the straights, gays and nays, welcome to Super Sex, the podcast where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality, sex and more.
Speaker 2:I'm Sherman and I'm Jordan, two friends, one straight, one gay, taking on all things sex.
Speaker 1:Alright, Sherms. How are you, buddy, I?
Speaker 2:am great Jordan. How are?
Speaker 1:you mate Good man Good, this one is going to be a bit of fun. It's quite extreme topic. What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:We are talking about fisting.
Speaker 1:Fisting. All right, everybody's got that moment in their life, when they first heard about it or when they first get exposed to it. What's yours?
Speaker 2:It's pretty boring. Go porn, porn, obviously porn. Look, I I feel like it was that moment where I'm scrolling through x well, twitter, and you just all of a sudden see this, this thumbnail. I'm like that's, hold on, that's a really big dick. And then you click on it and you're like that's not a dick, that is an arm. Someone's fucking that arm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Look, not gonna lie, haven't experienced it, haven't done it, not that much into it, mm-hmm. But yeah, at first. First, obviously, I think everyone's idea straight away when they're like oh gross, ew, what the fuck? Yeah, totally. But then I don't know. I will talk about an experience a little bit later on in the episode. Um, that's kind of like changed my perspective on fisting. Fair enough, so what are we talking about? Fisting? What's going on?
Speaker 1:So there's like with every sort of sexual fetish, there's a history to these things. There is a way that it sort of comes out in the culture and then normally there's a bit of a how to. So I think we follow that script right. I think it's really, really fun to be able to explore where this shit comes from.
Speaker 2:Because I think a lot of people don't understand that a lot of stuff comes from somewhere, not a lot of stuff. Everything comes from somewhere at some point, and I personally don't know. I know you know, because you are that guy that wants to know where everything comes from. So I think it is important to know the origins of where it comes from. Let's do it. Go on, tell us a little bit more about the origin of fisting Jordan.
Speaker 1:All right. So with most things, there's always like people try to link it back to that ancient element, right, and I don't know. You have a look at pedophilia and fiddling with boys and you can trace that back to ancient Greece and Rome and you know you can get girl on girl action and this action and wherever you're looking at it there's like bestiality and Mesopotamia and stuff like that, right. So people are always trying to find out where, as far back as it came from, there's not that much with fisting. There are some ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs there are. There are which supposedly depicts somebody getting fisted, but it could also be having their heart removed. You never know, I'm not sure. Maybe fisting does work with your heart and, like you know, you've got to get your heart into it.
Speaker 1:Get your heart into it by reaching through my ass. Exactly. Maybe the ancient Egyptians were onto something, who knows?
Speaker 2:You never know.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, maybe the ancient Egyptians were onto something who knows? You never know.
Speaker 2:So yeah, origins, yeah, so there's not that much to it.
Speaker 1:There was this whole thing, that Norse mythology. There was this god who was surrounded by ancient sort of helpers that were interfacing as well, but again the link isn't that strong. And then, moving into sort of modern world, there was an English writer way, way, way back in the day, like in the thousands, like you know, 900, in the 900s, early thousands, before the medieval period anyway, and within there there's a sort of sketchy reference to a guy reaching into his bottom with his hand. Oh God, okay, okay. But apart from that there's like not that much, yeah, but it seems to be like this 20th century phenomenon that people are getting into I mean, I can understand though it does.
Speaker 2:If you think about it, it does make sense that a lot of the ancient things come from. I'm not going to say I'm not going to say that fisting is not pleasurable, but I think other stuff was all based on, like you know, normal, called normal pleasures, yeah, whereas other stuff was all based on, like you know, normal, called normal pleasures, yeah, whereas fisting is more of a, in my opinion, an extreme extrema kink right?
Speaker 2:yeah, it is, so I can understand why it's taken off more in recent times than it was back in the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because human nature is to always push a little bit further is to always push a little bit further, right? Exactly, always push a little bit further. Literally push a hand in, then just push my hand into what happens. Oh man, so the 20th century, though that seems to be like the peak, and specifically from the sexual revolution. 60s, 70s, 80s, fisting was primarily a gay thing.
Speaker 2:That's understandable.
Speaker 1:Very understandable, right, but you've got to think about it. Gay people they're already on the fringes of what society deems as normal anyway, yeah. So for them it's just like, just like, oh, we're just going to take one more step, yeah, of course, and fuck the rest of society. We're doing what we do because we're already on the outside anyway so they are.
Speaker 2:They really think that we do all these weird and crazy shit? Well, let's just try it yeah, and see what happens.
Speaker 1:Why the hell not?
Speaker 2:a dick. No, that's not enough give me your whole fucking arm oh man.
Speaker 1:But we basically got the leather community in San Francisco to thank for sending fisting mainstream. Why is that? There was this club called the Catacombs right, which started off in like the I think it was the late 70s, but nonetheless it was like this gay haven and it was centered around primarily fisting.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what happened. I love how you're schooling me on this gay stuff this is cool. Like I said, you're the worst gay in the world.
Speaker 1:I know my card's going to be revoked any second now, but yeah, like the catacombs run until about the mid 80s when the aids epidemic, all right, really started kicking in. And the reason why fisting, I think, has got such a negative rap and like there's such heavy stigma is because it is so tied in with AIDS. Okay, because people were seeing fisting as an extreme thing that people were doing that was spreading AIDS around. And when you think about it right, it makes a little bit of sense. You're putting a very, very large thing into quite a small hole, essentially a very small hole Right.
Speaker 1:You are potentially running the risk of tearing or putting small sort of fishes in there, micro tears. Blood, blood, right Blood, aids, blood-borne virus, yep, job done Okay. So you can understand why that link was put there between fisting and AIDS and nonetheless, that ended up closing down the catacombs, the club and that driven fisting underground again. Yeah, until porn started coming through.
Speaker 2:And then porn, as per usual, brought everything back.
Speaker 1:Porn, as per usual, brought everything back. Porn right, it just brings it all back through and basically, now you log on to Twitter, yeah, you can see somebody getting fisted.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. On the daily.
Speaker 1:On the daily right. But it's not just a queer thing anymore. Yeah, it's a massively heterosexual thing as well. A lot of people are getting into it, and heterosexual what I mean as well, it's not just the guys fisting their wives or their partners, it's also the wives fisting the guys, because remember how we talked about what was on the other episode yeah, that just because you're taking any ass, it doesn't mean that you're gay, because like sexual attraction and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, yeah, but there's a lot of guys who are getting into visiting. That is very interesting to me, so you know this is part of this whole sex positive movement that we're going through at the moment.
Speaker 2:I love this movement because it means that, first of all, I'm not as as the gay person, I'm not the freak anymore. I'm not. I'm not alone. I'm not alone in this room. We've got more freaks. Yay, because for a long time, the gay queer community was. They were the freaks because and all we're doing is just having sex with the same gender. They were the freaks because and all we're doing is just having sex with the same gender. Nothing crazy, normal, boring, fucking, regular sex. But we were the freaks, whereas now everybody getting freaky, everybody's fucking freaky, it's so good, it makes me so happy.
Speaker 1:So happy and they do it in such diverse ways as well, though. Yeah, you know, like we just talked to to fred graph earlier on, and we were talking about how everybody's into something different, yeah, you know, everyone's in.
Speaker 2:Something I have to say, though the only thing that does shit me about this, um, free movement with sex and stuff. It annoys me a little bit that we done been doing this for years in the queer community, but now, all of a sudden, that the straights are on it like, oh, now we can be, okay, it is normalized.
Speaker 1:I'm like fuck you guys, not you jordan, you, you, you one of the cool straights, it's okay you know, I was, uh, I was in a lecture the other day and the lecturer was talking about kink. And in there the lecturer is talking about kink and in there the lecturer said something that made me really think. The gay community gives the heterosexual a lot like a lot we do. We talk about fisting, we talk about poppers, and the straight community sort of quiets that and goes okay, that's ours, that's our thing.
Speaker 2:And then it becomes then okay, that's ours, that's our thing, and it becomes then. It becomes then, only then, it becomes normal. Totally different topic, but just for context Painting nails right, gay men have been painting their nails for millennia and it's always been seen as no, that's not masculine, that's too feminine, that's bad. Blah, blah, blah, blah yeah. Now, all of a sudden, you've got these straight dudes out there, which I think is amazing. Don't get me wrong, baseball catchers Yep, okay, they paint their nails.
Speaker 2:I've seen there's TikTokers that are tradies, they paint their nails, which awesome, great. But the thing that annoys me is that because now we've got straight guys doing something and the straight community is doing it, now it is a little bit more normalized. Yes, obviously they're still going to get ostracized by the alpha male. Yeah, but now that the straight men are doing it, now it's okay. But the gay community have been doing it for years and been ostracized and beaten and whatever else for doing all these things.
Speaker 1:And you straight motherfuckers. Well, we take it, but we don't give you anything back, do we? Absolutely the fuck not. When was the last time that you know?
Speaker 2:straight people gave you something Hold on. The last time a straight man gave it back to me.
Speaker 1:During this fizzing session that we're having right now. I won't answer that one. So strange. Hey, people have been asking me this week what are you talking about? Oh yeah, I'm having a fizzing session with Sharon on Sunday what the? Fuck. Yeah, look, I was concerned when you said let's go start our fisting session. Jesus Christ, I love it.
Speaker 2:Days. Why are people into fisting? I think people okay, I think people are into fisting because one pushing the boundaries, I think, and I think what's happening is that people are trying to push the boundaries to try new things and realizing that is actually pleasurable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That it actually feels good.
Speaker 1:And then they get into it. That's how a lot of shit starts, though, isn't it? It's like, oh, I wonder, I wonder. It's that curiosity about trying something that you've never tried before, and then, oh, actually, that feels sort of okay, just keep on going, let's have this I have a story I was dory hit it.
Speaker 2:I was dory, love your stories.
Speaker 1:It's like I can sort of just sit back and just watch, and sometimes my uh chin is on the floor, and other times I'm sitting there shaking my head.
Speaker 2:I'm look, I don't know, sorry, this is so. This is what I'll say to you. Want to talk about where it kind of changed my perspective on fisting, right, I never tried it, never been into it. I've told the story already where the guy tried to put too many fingers in. I was like stop, no, thank you, yeah, we're good, right.
Speaker 2:So something happened a few weeks ago, so went to the student's house and he decided to give me a prostate massage, which I thought I had had one before. But oh boy, was I wrong. This was a proper, a dude that knew exactly what he was doing and it was the most intense orgasm I've ever had, right. But in between this 30 minute long massage yes, 30 minutes which was fucking intense at some point I realized, because I was so relaxed and it was everything was just feeling great before I realized that one finger finger became two, two fingers became three, and there was a point where we've spoken about this before the feeling of being filled and full, yeah, and the pressure of your walls being feeling full can be really pleasurable, right. Let's just say I experienced that to a whole new level at some. Look, I don't know how many things were in there, but a thought crossed my mind, where I was, like you, know, what I think I get it.
Speaker 2:Go, jimmy go, I think. I look it wasn't. It was nothing crazy, I wasn't getting fisted, but just the idea that I've told you before I don't really like fingers up me at all. Two is good, if I'm going to allow you to do it, but at this point this dude obviously had more than two, but it felt so good and pleasurable and a feeling that I've never felt before, never felt before. It kind of clicked in my head where I was like this must be what it must feel like, but better if somebody had a fist up them, if you're into that, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So I can kind of understand, like that was the moment that let's just say, for example, if this dude was my partner and you try that, I was like whoa, that was amazing. Next time I might be like, hey, can you try that again? Yeah, and maybe just add another finger and let's just see what happens. So I can kind of understand where this idea where fisting is slowly becoming a thing, because people are, the inhibitions are kind of down right, yeah, of course, and people are trying new things, and if you're trying something that you never thought you'd like, or maybe it's an accident, like with me, and at some point you go whoops, oh no, whoops, the whole hand's up there. Fuck, wait, this feels amazing. Let's do this more often.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it makes complete sense that you stumble across it. So, as I did with the last episode on size play, I've taken back to the same community because they're obviously into size play and stuff right, and fisting is a form of size play. So I asked those lovely folks over there what got you into fisting? And a lot of it, believe it or not, was from people trying to prime themselves for pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Huh.
Speaker 1:And prime themselves for childbirth.
Speaker 1:Okay, because it's that inbuilt fear that, hey, a baby's going to come out of there and I'm going to stretch and all I've had is your micro dick in there for like fucking three years and now I'm going to have to try and squeeze out this fucking bowling ball, you know. So I want to sort of prep for that, and what these people were saying is that they would start with like a perineum massage, which is like pulling down on the perineum, which is basically your gooch right, so just massaging that and a couple of fingers would be put in and just a little bit of tension pulling down the vagina. And that tension, that slow sort of buildup of that tension, was actually pleasurable for a lot of women and that was their entry into fisting and obviously, like there's other reasons why they maintain being in there apart from outside, of just a pleasure. But yeah, like it's curious that there are different avenues into it.
Speaker 2:That's so interesting.
Speaker 1:But the other thing about it, though, is like, apart from just pushing boundaries and taboo, it builds a lot of trust and intimacy between partners, right I can understand that 100. I can understand that like if you're about to shove your whole fucking hand in somebody else's body. I feel like you need to have some kind of connection.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I was saying with that last dude that tried to do it. I'm like no, motherfucker, this is not for you, this is not our thing. We don't have that kind of level of intimacy where you can just do that yeah, absolutely, and that takes time to build up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it takes trust, like fisting isn't something that you can literally just meet somebody on grinder and just be like hey, come over and fist me, unless you're already prepped for that shit exactly I mean, that was actually one of my points that I was going to bring up at some point in the episode, that fisting's not something that you just spring on someone fuck no, that's something, that that is a.
Speaker 2:It's a whole conversation that needs to happen or at least the idea that one of you's into it and obviously your partner or whether that be a one-night partner or your partner of many years should know yeah, but still, though it's whether that is a one-night partner or somebody who you've known for forever, it's that intimacy and that connection that you need to have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, because when you're spreading somebody, that's that sounds really weird as you said that I just got a picture that I really didn't want to get but when you're opening somebody's holes that much, yeah, there is a lot of sensation and it is a heavy, heavy sensation.
Speaker 1:Right, not necessarily bad sensation, like quite often it's insanely pleasurable but there is such a heavy sensation that you need to be so in tune, like as as the top has the person who's inserting. You need to be so in tune with the person who's receiving? Yes, that it becomes a highly highly intimate moment.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you're receiving an arm, you are going to have to as the top, like you say, you have to be not intuitive, but you have to have that connection where you go. Okay, cool, I can read my partner's signs. Are they enjoying it? Because there is. I think there'll be a very, very short um, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh my god, I just had a total blank between pain and pleasure, yeah, and hurting somebody.
Speaker 1:Pleasurable pain, yeah, versus pain pain yeah, it's, it's definitely a very borderline it's a that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:It a very borderline where you could definitely do some damage, to the point where you need to make sure that, especially as the top, you are in tune with your partner and making sure that they are actually enjoying it as much as you are. Yeah, because they're the one, at the end of the day, you can't feel. You cannot feel what they're feeling through your fucking hand hand I'll push back on that a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you will. You can, as somebody has who has fisted people, you can definitely feel the tension within their body. Okay, and it is. It is quite remarkable actually, how, how tense and how relaxed you can feel that that go. But just circling back onto the trust and intimacy part, I always say that whenever you do something hard as a couple, it brings you together closer. It brings you closer and I'm going to argue that there's not much sexually that is more difficult or extreme than fisting somebody's hole of course you know, I would completely agree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like fair enough bdsm kink stuff yes, somebody, I'll be a cool yeah there's heaps of that in that, and that does it in this exact same way, right you? You have this experience with a partner, and it is so difficult and it's so intense and overwhelming that, if it is done correctly, it brings you together afterwards. So it's like a way of deepening a relationship as well as deepening your vagina or your asshole, steve, deepening your hole. But talking about BDSM stuff, power dynamics Mm-hmm, it's. Fisting is often used in that dynamic as well. You know, like we talked, what was that first episode? Was it the first episode that we talked about power bottoms? Yeah, and how somebody who receives something so large, they've got a lot of power they do within that and that gives them this power dynamic over the person who's inserting.
Speaker 2:it's like it's a role reversal, it's funny because I think a lot of people assume that the person that receives anything would be a decay, an arm or whatever, that that person is in that submissive, or you have to be submissive to be able to do that. Yeah, but you have as the bottom in situations, you're the one that has all of the control, really and truly speaking, the top things they do. But really. Look, it's like a heterosexual relationship.
Speaker 1:The man always thinks that he's in control.
Speaker 2:It's like, yeah, I wear the pants in the relationship, and the woman's like, yeah, tell them which ones to wear. That's the way it goes.
Speaker 1:Oh man, it's definitely the way it is in our relationship. You poor bastard. I think the final thing of why are people interfisting is a biological thing. It's the endorphins. Okay, elaborate. The greater the physical intensity, the greater the physical sensation, the greater hormone release, okay. So if you're feeling fucking massive sensations, it stands to reason that you're going to have massive amount of endorphin rush, true? So you're actually going to feel really fucking good from it, so long as it's done, right yeah you know, I'm I'm really getting worried about this episode.
Speaker 2:Why? I love your why I feel like after every episode we record, you go off and trash it no I know this is the thing is, I learned so much from it, and then it kind of makes me start, like you know, obviously it it marinates in your, in your, in your brain, right? Yeah, so there's that week of me sitting at work, sitting at home and going oh yeah, that episode was pretty cool. But this, what is about? Whatever? Oh, that's so interesting. And then you know curiosity I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna be getting a phone call next week. Jordan, can you come around and help me? My hand is stuck in my ass look, I just feel like it's.
Speaker 2:It's something that I would not, that I'm not going to explore or want to explore, but I do think it's really interesting for anybody, even people listening out there that it might not be something that you're into, but I feel like it's worth a little bit of research.
Speaker 2:Fuck, yes it is Because I feel like there's stigmas right, there's stigmas about a lot of shit. When it comes to fisting. There's the stigma we were talking about when we were talking to Freya about that you know you're going to be loose after doing this and that you know you're going to have a gaping hole, which is not the case. No, that's not the way it works, but because of that, I think, the stigmas people wouldn't even be into. Even watching porn with fisting, yeah, but you know what.
Speaker 1:You never know what you're into people you know talking about that episode with freya which I think we'll release that before this one. Okay, I think it'd be real nice sort of segue to it. But, um, that episode of freya made me think of People might also do this as a way to sort of heal their body and to repair and recuperate, like we talked about the pelvic floor and how so many people have got such a tight, tight, tight pelvic floor and they don't realize they're doing that.
Speaker 2:Go do Kegels and make it even worse. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And, like the idea that Freya was talking about is that you need to loosen your pelvic floor and make it more supple. Yeah, stretch the muscles In order to make it more powerful. Yeah, and realistically, fisting is a pretty good way of doing that, or you could just.
Speaker 2:You know, if you have a person with a womb, you can just push it out, push the baby out, that'll help, maybe. Look, this is a bit extreme, a little bit extreme. So maybe try a couple of fingers, maybe a fist, maybe don't go and just like get pregnant just to relax your pelvic floor, but also that goes into. I mean, that's literally what she was talking about. You know, if you have a relaxed pelvic floor muscle, childbirth can be a little bit easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, orgasms are better, Orgasms can be better. So you know, people get out there, get a fisting.
Speaker 1:Stop doing fucking Kegel exercises and get a fist. Get a fist.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Now let's get into a how-to though, because, let's be fair, people are tuning into this episode Not to hear about the history.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they want to learn how to do it. If they're going to try, how the fuck are they going to do this? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, that's right, people want to know how to do it.
Speaker 1:Jordan Tell us how All right? So I want to preface this by making a distinction between fisting and punch fucking. There is a very, very, very big difference. Okay, so I'm sorry, I've never heard the term punch fucking Fisting is when you've got your hand in like a silent duck, like it looks like a little duck bill.
Speaker 2:Did you say a silent duck A?
Speaker 1:silent duck. It doesn't quack, but basically your thumb is tucked in behind your fingers, all your fingers are squashed together and your hand is in like this conical shape. Yeah, that is fisting. Punch fucking is when you're actually like Mike Tyson fist and you're slopping that shit in and out. Okay, it's a thing, but you can't.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I've seen it. It's a thing. I've seen a video of it. It is a whole thing.
Speaker 1:It's like he had a single bead of sweat that just came down his head from that. That's right, but yeah, so punch fucking is something that is like the extreme of fisting. Okay.
Speaker 2:So fisting is hilarious because fisting is a thing that doesn't include your fist. Yeah, you're not making a fist when you're fisting, that's right.
Speaker 1:But everybody, as soon as you turn around and go, oh, that person's getting fisted, they're sitting there thinking, well, actually he's getting punch fucked. Okay, right, which is a very, very different thing. But let's do this in two parts, right, because obviously we're talking about it from perspectives. Talk about vaginal fisting Right, because it's very, very different from anal fisting. I'm sure it will be. I'm going to let you start, though.
Speaker 2:Which one do you want to go with first? I'm gay, of course. I'm going to want to go with the anal fisting. Come on, you want to start with the anus?
Speaker 1:Let's start with the anus. I love starting with the anus. So long as it ends with the anus, you're pretty good, I'm happy. All right, so ass play. Yes, it's always got to start with hygiene, right? You are moving into parts of the rectum and parts of the colon that you're gonna encounter shit, you, it's, it's inevitable, right?
Speaker 2:I'm so glad you started with that. People need to understand that if you're gonna be playing, like I said before, you're gonna play the catashop, you might find some chocolate. So you have to get past that. You have to get past that, um, whatever, whatever you have in your mind you need to get past the fact that you're going to encounter some shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's going to happen at any point. So douching like we talked about this in the annual episode but douching your diet, fiber, high-fiber diet.
Speaker 1:Fiber being properly hydrated supplementation. Go back and listen to that episode if you want, like a full lowdown on douching and whatnot, but nonetheless, it's all about the preparation for this. You cannot go from one or two fingers to a fist in a session. Yeah, that takes weeks, if not months, to build up. You know, like building up to anal play alone to be able to receive a penis yeah, like I mean, you'll be able to talk to that, of course. How fucking long does that take?
Speaker 2:Dude. Like I said, for years I was a strict top because I wouldn't let anything up there and when I did, I wanted the smallest possible thing that could possibly go up there, because I was so fucking scared of tearing or it being painful that for many, many years I would make sure I only found the smallest dude I could find. So yeah, you literally have to build up to playing. If you're going to play at the back door, you've have to build up to playing.
Speaker 1:If you're going to play the back door, you've got to build up to it absolutely but the other thing as well is with fisting, and a lot of reason why it is so big in the gay scene is because you can actually get a whole heap more depth. Yes, you can into that.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, I've also seen that video flexible right up to the elbow sort of stuff to the elbows, and I literally mean to the elbows, to the elbows like two elbows. No to the elbow, oh oh, that's just it. It freaks me out a little just thinking about someone's arm, like basically being a puppet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but people love it and hey again if you're into that, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Because why, though Vagus nerve, massive stimulation on the vagus nerve, massive stimulation to all, like the little nerves around the anus and inside the rectum and all that sort of stuff. So it's huge. But the difference between anal fisting and vaginal fisting is that there is that secondary sort of sphincter that you need to be able to get through and that needs a little bit more training than just sticking a couple of fingers in there.
Speaker 2:I don't think a lot of people know that they are actually two which?
Speaker 1:is hilarious. They don't?
Speaker 2:it's funny, yeah. I mean, I remember the first time I found that I was like well, wait what? I don't know that. But also, if you are as a, for example, as a top, yep, you obviously have to be big enough to know that there's another one. Yeah, because if you are, let's say, above seven inches, eight, nine inches, you got to know that there's another hole. It's quite clear, you feel it, yeah, but if you're under that, you don't know there's another hole. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're never going to know that, right? Yeah, spot on, or?
Speaker 2:unless you are obviously getting into fisting, then you know there's another sphincter. Yeah, it's very, very interesting.
Speaker 1:You know it is wild to when you understand that about the anatomy and when you understand how arousal makes the body respond in different ways. So basically, when a female body is aroused, the vagina will lengthen and widen and it's the same as the rectum. Yes, right. So basically everything stretches out. So if you're playing with somebody who's not quite ready for anal penetration, you might be able to find that second sphincter pretty easy because it's not elongated and stretched out. I found mine Right. But if you are super relaxed and if you are super horny might be a bit harder to find because it's like retracted to your tonsils.
Speaker 2:It's up past your belly button and only a 17-inch dick is going to be able to find it. That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:It really does. So there's that idea that and this is the same with vaginal and anal stretching that you need to gradually stretch it, gradually, gradually stretch it.
Speaker 2:And do a little bit of homework. Bro, Just do some homework, stretch it and do a little bit of homework bro, just do some homework on it, like don't just go in guns blazing or hands blazing and you haven't done a lick of research.
Speaker 1:Understand the anatomy right, Exactly Like if you want to get into fisting, understand the anatomy before you're getting into it. Now here's another thing that I've always wanted to know. Never had anything shoved in my back door, but I'm a hairy dude. It seems as though pushing something in when there's a lot of hair, that's going to pull my hair.
Speaker 2:No, you don't feel shit.
Speaker 1:You don't feel it.
Speaker 2:You don't feel it. That's the lot of hair that's going to pull my hair. No, you don't feel shit. You don't feel it. You don't feel it. That's the least of your worries at that point in time, I guarantee you. Look, I only started waxing back there. Yeah, I'm going to say two years.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So not that long, yeah, so for 10 to 15 years before that I had had sex without.
Speaker 1:And absolutely no issues.
Speaker 2:No issues at all Because, like, look, if this is your asshole, your hair's around it. It's not like on your hole. First and foremost, what?
Speaker 1:about if you're some like hairy Italian dude, that's just like thicket, I have a question for you.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I've asked you this on the pod or ever. I have a question for you, jordan have you seen your own arsehole? Have you actually looked at it? Like if I showed you a picture of your arsehole would you be able to go? Yeah, that's mine.
Speaker 1:No, he's looking at my face in America.
Speaker 2:But that's the idea, is that we don't know, because how often do you look at your arsehole?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I can't remember the last time Exactly Never.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so you don't have hair right there. But also you're using lube, lube helps.
Speaker 1:All right, fair enough. Okay, I was going to suggest that, like, maybe just shave up a little patch. Oh, no, no, no, we don't.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was going to suggest that, like, maybe just shave up a little patch. Oh, no, no, no, we don't. Oh see, this is the thing Shaving, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 1:Wax, see, but pouring hot wax on your asshole just.
Speaker 2:Okay, Let me explain something to you. If you are the top right yeah, I want you to picture this Someone shaved their asshole. What happens when you shave hair? You've got beard hair right. What happens when you shave and it's a day's worth of growth? What happens to those hairs Get spiky and they are sharp.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they all face one direction. Now imagine pushing your dick past a ring of that kind of that sensation, and then pulling it back and then pushing it back in. I don't know how do you think that feels?
Speaker 1:I don't know why, but as soon as you said One Direction, all I just imagined is the actual boy band lined up around somebody's asshole like sticking a dick, as it went in.
Speaker 2:It feels like sandpaper. Okay, like yes, okay, cool if I've shaved right now and then we get into it, great, yeah. But if you have a day's growth or two days growth and I've had this experience where there was one dude in particular that I stopped I literally I stopped seeing him because I was like you know what, no, this is too much for me and I can't tell you to not shave or whatever, but it was too much for me. I did not like the sensation it was. I suppose that would have an issue with condoms as well. Right, exactly, so for me, I'm waxing all the way hair or waxing no, but no, don't shave it, just leave it. Okay, I hope that answers your question, man fair enough.
Speaker 1:Fair enough talking about lube, though that was that was?
Speaker 2:I was just about to do a little segway, so I'd be like safety with lube people use the lube.
Speaker 1:You need to use lube anal or vaginal, you need need lube. I'm gonna put it out there do not use those lubes that are numbing right, first and foremost those lubes. They generally have like a tingly sensation, so the person is going to be less focused on the pleasure and more focused on why is my asshole right?
Speaker 2:oh, is this what this thing's about? A tingly asshole.
Speaker 1:It feels awful. It feels like one of those sherbet things you put on your tongue. No, so don't use those, because there's a tingly sensation. But secondly is when it does start to work and it cuts off the massive amount of sensation that they do, you can start asking for a bit more than your body's actually capable for exactly and not realizing that you shouldn't be going past that point yeah, because your body's going to tell you okay, stop there, but your arsehole's like I can't feel shit, keep going yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:So the pain, the pain is actually a good thing for us, because it's telling us whether we're doing it right or wrong what I'm a massage as well. And if you're dulling down the pain you don't have that feedback anymore and you're starting to get into some pretty negative sort of territory. So don't use that. But what you should be using is like a really really thick, thick loop. Yeah, Like I prefer-.
Speaker 2:Crisco.
Speaker 1:Crisco. Crisco is a thingco. Crisco is a thing. I know it is right, I know it's a thing, totally a thing. Can't find it anywhere on the shelves, yeah, and that'd be right, can you?
Speaker 2:can you even find it in australia? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Phone god, amazon used to be able to though, huh I don't know, just imagine getting like 20 pallets worth of crisco loaded into your house.
Speaker 2:I just really like fried chicken. Okay, I'm sure you do.
Speaker 1:But yeah. So Crisco is a thing because it's thick. It's thick and it sticks around and it stays around. There are other lubes that are really good, so J-Lube is really good. But what I would argue for is if you're just playing with fingers and hands and fists, do a mix of silicon and water-based. I hate water-based, I know right, but water-based generally is a lot thicker and it's A little bit slipperier. It's a little bit slipperier and it's far less expensive than silicon, right, if you're going to put so much silicon on your hand to get it into an ass, but I'm going to say something that you have no understanding of right.
Speaker 2:But as someone that bottoms, if you're going to get into fisting, obviously you're going to douche, right? You're going to get everything cleaned up, make sure you're good. You could be there for a little bit. When you over douche, you actually end up drying out your yeah, your insides basically. So what tends to happen is it becomes slightly inflamed and a little bit more sensitive. For some reason, you put water-based glue up there and it fucking burns. Yeah it burns a lot because of the glycerin, because it's all sugar.
Speaker 2:so what happened? What happens is if, if you are, you know, getting into it, let's just say you it's your first time you fucking do for an hour to make sure that you're super clean and you feel discomfort in that, maybe try a little bit more silicone lube, because in my experience, silicone lube does not burn. Yeah, that's why I only use it. Yeah, so if you're trying to get in it, don't be disheartened that. Oh shit, that wasn't for me because it burnt, for example or it hurt.
Speaker 1:Think about your lube, yeah, and that's why I say pair them together. Yeah, always put the silicone on first, because what that does is that creates a barrier. Yes, right, and it sits on top of the skin and within the rectum and vaginal cavity. It sits on that mucus membrane right, and it doesn't get absorbed into the body, which is coated right, it just coats it, and when you're putting your water-based lube on top of that, that's just helping slippery slide. It's helping the slippery slide, but it means that the water base, the water from the water-based lube, isn't going to get absorbed into the body as quick, right? Yeah, so it's, it's going to stay around.
Speaker 2:It's going to stick around for a lot longer. It's literally like putting water-based lube on the slide. It's going to stick around because it's.
Speaker 1:It's got no way to like that's it right, like if you just put water-based lube on a, on a on the grass, yeah, it's just going to go straight in, but if you put plastic sheet down, then your water-based loop, it's going to stick around.
Speaker 2:I'd even suggest, get one of those, like I'm sure there is actually a device look at me, um where you can squirt the loop up there oh yeah get something, get some up in there yeah, yeah, you can pair you can even put it in your douche. Yeah, you can put in your douche. Yeah, you can put it in your douche. You can use a little syringe if you want to, but just get some up there. It might help the situation out a little bit more. Get the slippery slide happening.
Speaker 1:In, on and around. I think we talked about that on the annual episode right.
Speaker 2:I think we did In the rectum on the rectum Around the cock and on whatever you decide you're pushing in there. Please make sure there's some on there too.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So the other thing I want to talk about is gloves, because I know that you hate the texture of hands. Yes, right, you absolutely hate the texture of hands. So basically, putting gloves on there, that is such a fucking good idea.
Speaker 2:Why have I never thought about?
Speaker 1:that you never thought about that?
Speaker 2:You've never thought about it Latex gloves?
Speaker 1:I've never, ever thought about that.
Speaker 2:Next time someone tries a finger, we were like stop.
Speaker 1:Latex gloves. Please put this on. But here's the thing, though right, with like vaginal, vaginal fisting, latex gloves are great and the ones that just they're fine, but with anal fisting, you actually want to get something that goes up to the elbow, because the last thing that you want is for that glove coming off, yeah Right, and if that glove comes off it's a very awkward trip to the ER, that's right, and you don't know where it's going to end up.
Speaker 1:Yes, you could end up coughing up one day at your family dinner and like this fucking black silicone glove comes out right. But the other thing is, if you're doing it for hygiene reasons, when the hand goes all the way into the rectum, it can keep on going. There's no end point to it. So there is a massive chance that shit's going to get in and into the glove, which negates the hygiene.
Speaker 2:The whole purpose of having the glove on. Yeah, so yeah. So longer gloves. So basically, like those ones where I've seen the people that they-. Up to your elbow like Cruella de Vil, shit. You know, I just pictured those videos where there's a cow and the person's got the whole fucking arm in there because it's giving birth and they're like that's where jay lube came from you know that, right?
Speaker 1:no, jay lube basically came from that the cows, the cows, yeah, oh because made it more comfortable. But, yes, pretty much same sort of gloves, not like the big baggy ones you're on.
Speaker 2:You stand there. I really enjoyed this and it sounds like a plastic bag. Tight ones, people, tight ones, oh Lord, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:So gloves, gloves are an important thing, gloves definitely Like hygiene-wise and also reducing friction and increasing that smoother sensation.
Speaker 2:So things are going to slip in a little bit easier, right, and obviously it does From my personal experience experience it feels better because I personally just don't like the idea of having fingers up me with gritty fucking knuckles, fucking knuckles and fingerprints and, yeah, and especially for guys, if guys are doing it, yes, there's a lot of guys who have, like, hair on their hands.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that is gonna create a pretty horrible sticking point and also like, as as the person that's like, for example, the straight guy doing it to his female partner you have never had anything in you, so you don't understand the sensitivity of it. So be a little bit like preemptive, think about these things. If you've got, you know, like you say hairy hands or you're a tradie, and you've got like fucking calluses, like you say hairy hands or you're a tradie and you got like fucking calluses on your hands, remember that. Yeah, cause that's going to be, whether you realize it or not, that's something that that person's going to feel. Yeah, totally Put a glove on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, gloves Cool Fucking way to do it. All right, let we're actually sort of getting into it.
Speaker 1:Foreplay is huge because, like we talked about, it helps holes to open up and relax and, you know, become fully engaged in the rouse, and the longer that you can do that, the better. The other thing that you can do is to move into that space is breathing techniques. So when that fist is getting put in, really focus on that slow sort of breathing, especially on the exhale, like we were doing it for you. The 4-7-8 technique, right, because it actually moves your body into a parasympathetic state which relaxes everything down.
Speaker 2:For the record, we're talking about me going to sleep, not for anything else, not preparing for our fisting session.
Speaker 1:So, Sherman, when we're doing our fisting session, you need to stop breathing like this. No, but basically the longer the exhale is and calmer it all is, the more the body gets into that relaxation.
Speaker 2:It just relaxes, and you want to be as relaxed as possible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need to be. Things aren't going in there if they're too tight and you also don't want to force things?
Speaker 2:Fuck no, don't force anything. If it's not happening, try it tomorrow, like.
Speaker 1:I say this like anal fisting, especially, could take up to three hours. Yeah, before you get those knuckles in Don't Three fucking hours.
Speaker 2:Don't rush at shit, don't rush it and don't like try and shove it. The tops out there, don't try and shove that shit in. It's just it's just not it.
Speaker 1:It's Like if you're getting into fisting, it's because you're trying to create this massively intimate thing. Yeah, and that ain't fast food, that's a fucking gourmet restaurant.
Speaker 2:It's not. Oh, I watched this last night and I thought it was really interesting. On porn, I'm going to try it today. Yeah, totally, honey, open up, open up.
Speaker 1:So getting onto that though communication you need to be able to talk to your partner.
Speaker 2:Don't spring it on them. As I said, talk about it. See if you're both into it. Yeah, see if you're both into it. Yeah, see if it's something that you both like to try.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it needs to happen like that. I think that communication as well. You need to talk about your expectations. You know you can't just go in and just sit there and say, right, we're going to get the full fist in there. Yeah, oh, today I want to get four fingers in and just sit there and say, right, we're going to get the full fist in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's an art. Today I want to get four fingers in and the whole fist and actually up to the fucking elbow yeah, no, like you need to have that conversation, you know okay, what feels good? Hey, you know what, wherever you are, now, that feels great. Can we stop there? Yeah, don't go any further than that yeah, and that needs to happen.
Speaker 1:and I think the whole experience, though needs to happen. And I think the whole experience, though needs to happen. When you are relatively sober I'm not going to say, like you need to be like teetotal shit. Yeah, because quite often, a drink or two does help you to relax, but don't be shit-faced. Don't be shit-faced because being shit-faced reduces your sensitivity yeah, which means that your body is not giving you the feedback. But being shit-faced also blocks off the signals that come from the brain that allow your um genitals to actually get aroused. Yeah, so you can be wanting to get shit-faced to relax things, but really all that does is that cuts off the signals from your brain to say, hey, genitals get aroused.
Speaker 2:yeah, so you're fucking yourself also, your inhibition is kind of like out the window. So you might be like, yeah, put it into the fucking elbow to your shoulder, but realistically it's not the best idea, fuck no, it's not.
Speaker 1:yeah, fuck, no, it's not all. Yeah, fuck, no, it's not All. Right, I think that's pretty much anal stuff.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, let's go on to Do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1:vaginal stuff.
Speaker 2:Vaginal.
Speaker 1:All right, let's do it. Okay, I'm going to blow your mind with a little bit of science here, though how are you now? I'm going to try Go.
Speaker 2:I'm going to try Go on, I'm not actually going to blow your mind like a blowjob Just imagine me sucking on your head. Please blow my mind. I'm ready. Let's do this All right.
Speaker 1:So there's a sexologist, masterson Johnson, and in 1966, they did a whole heap of research around the vagina and penis size and blah-de-blah-de-blah, yeah, and basically they came back with this idea that for women to orgasm it doesn't really matter about penis size because there's not that many nerves in a vagina anyway. Right, it's all in the clitoris and it's all around the opening.
Speaker 2:Also wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dick, size doesn't really matter. Whatever size the thing is going in, doesn't really matter. Or whatever size the thing you're going in, doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:That person was someone that had a small dick yeah, and.
Speaker 1:But they based that whole research theory on the idea that the vagina is super elastic and doesn't have that many nerves. So size doesn't make a difference, because elastic things can get stretched out and can go back down, doesn't really matter. But the real thing is is that the vagina and the cervix fucking packed with nerves yep, absolutely packed with nerves and they're really, really sensitive to the touch, like if anybody's had their hand inside somebody's vagina. You get very different responses based on where you're pressing, like super super different, I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2:I've got to take your word for this one. All right, take my, take my word. But as Freya was talking about in the episode before, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, like there's, it's a cavernous cave that you can explore and different sensations and different feelings and yeah, that's it, and they're all over the vagina, right, but with the vagina, those nerves, they are sent to those nerve receptors and the stimulation that they get sent from it gets sent to a different part of the brain than the clitoris and it gets sent to a different part of the brain than the opening of the vagina, right, so you're going to get a very, very different sensation and different response from that because it goes to the somatosensory cortex, right, and that's the part of the brain where we process all our sensory information from.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, we get all of these different inputs coming from different things, and pretty much that's the reason why some women like larger insertions, right. Because they get different feelings and different pleasure Because their body is more entwined with the receptors within the vagina than the ones in the clitoris Right. So yeah, that's basically it. That's why some people like big things in a vagina vaginas, but it makes sense.
Speaker 2:I feel like same thing with dudes that like okay, guys like big dicks, some love small dicks, some like big dicks.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Everyone's a little different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it. And you know, some women might like bigger things because they've got a different setup with their pelvic floor, exactly, you know they might have a more relaxed and I don't want to use the word loose because that's not right.
Speaker 2:It's connotations More supple, yeah, more supple pelvic floor. You know there's Some more supple pelvic floor.
Speaker 1:Some might have a really tight pelvic floor and they just can't physically take anything that's right, because vaginismus there's that whole idea that it's tied to mental health, where people who have less stigma around things are more open to new experiences and bloody, bloody, blah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so, just all of that. But anyway, getting into vaginal stuff, we've already said that the vagina is super flexible, Like Freya said in her episode. How large that space is within the vagina, right, because like it needs to be able to stretch like three or four times its size so that it can get a baby in and out. But that stretching takes time. Yes, that's a reason why there's so many vaginal tears during childbirth, because quite often it's done where it's. There's like a rush on to get that baby out, so it's like push, push, push, push, push.
Speaker 1:Oh, shit be pushing right, the time hasn't been taken, so you need to take that time to arouse the body and build up to it and build up to it.
Speaker 2:And as far as I was talking about like, like takes, what did you say? 40, 40 to 45 minutes?
Speaker 1:yeah, for a female to get engorged yeah, engorged enough to the point where it's gonna be pleasurable, yeah. So just remember that people. Yeah, like 40 fucking minutes. 40 minutes is, and that doesn't mean like 40 minutes of just playing with the clay or fingering. That means 40 minutes is, and that doesn't mean like 40 minutes of just playing with the plate or fingering. That means 40 minutes of talking or, you know, touching just around your partner, whatever that, whatever that is your partner might be aroused.
Speaker 2:But like we're saying for saying, you know, to the dishes that might arouse your partner, do some fucking uh dish. Do some dishes, mop the floors.
Speaker 1:Do it naked though just imagine hey, honey, is this working for you? I should just scrubbing the floors and she's like, yes, keep going don't stop there, scrub harder, bitch the lawn needs mowing.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's gonna get me real engorged.
Speaker 1:You know that's so funny, though. My wife actually says that one of the hottest things that she sees with me is me like doing the gardening, and I'm like what.
Speaker 2:And you're sitting there with your big Bunnings hat you're sweating, your whole life going. What the fuck are you talking?
Speaker 1:about Just like imagine his plumber's crack hanging out. Like what the fuck are you talking about? I?
Speaker 2:get that, though I think that would be very sexy if I saw a dude out in the garden like just getting sweaty. Fuck yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:All right. Heading back down to Bunnings All right. So what we're going to do with fisting the vagina is to allow things to start stretching out normally You're going to prepare in the same way you're going to prepare if it's an asshole.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:So when it comes to the hand positioning, so you've obviously got to start with one, two, three, four fingers, and that takes. You might not get to three fingers in a single session. You might need to sit there and build up to that over weeks or months, but when you are at this point, when you're ready to start fisting, it'll feel natural and easy, right. So what you need to do, you've got your four fingers in there. You then need to ask your partner are you ready to try a little bit more? Or they need to ask you hey, can we go for a little bit more?
Speaker 1:So what you're doing is you're basically putting your four actual fingers together so they form like a little square, and then you're tucking the thumb underneath them so it looks like a little duck bill shape, and then you're starting to push into that. But in order to do that, you need to have a fuckload of lube yes, on that and you're going to be able to get up pretty good until the knuckles Right. The knuckles is like the big sticking point, and some people like the knuckles facing up towards the clitoris, some people like the knuckles facing down towards the asshole yeah, so that's something that you need to talk to your partner about what they prefer what that?
Speaker 2:what feels better? Try about, which one feels better yeah, that one.
Speaker 1:Now. The other thing is as well is that quite often you'll be getting, and you'll be building up towards that point where your knuckles are nearly in, but you're starting to feel like things are starting to dry out. Yep, you don't necessarily want to pull your hand all the way out to start putting lube back in, right, because you feel as though you lose gains or something like that. And quite often as well, when you pull all the way out, it can, it can sort of stop that experience. Yeah, and then, like the, the female will start going oh, oh, well, fuck, I don't really want to go back there just yet that was too much, too much sensation for me.
Speaker 1:So what you can generally do is just pull your hand out just enough to where that like. If you tuck your thumb into your fingers, you'll notice like a little crevice and use that as like a little funnel.
Speaker 2:Okay, so basically, pull your l and use that as like a little funnel, okay.
Speaker 1:So basically pour your lube into that and that will get inside. Good enough. So you're using that, so you can do that with like anal as well. But nonetheless, you're basically going to just slowly start applying pressure back off a little bit, apply a little bit more back off a little bit, and it's always good to stimulate the clitoris as well at the same time. Yeah, because that helps to increase that arousal. But you will notice that if the person comes close to orgasm, everything will tighten up, tighten up, and there's no fucking way that you're getting your hand in there.
Speaker 1:Yes, right, but if they do have an orgasm, everything loosens up straight away, right? So you've got more chance after an orgasm of getting your hand in than you do prior to an orgasm. Okay, so, nonetheless, it's going to take quite a while to get past those knuckles, just don't rush into it. No, take away.
Speaker 2:Take away is don't rush into it.
Speaker 1:No, absolutely not. But here's the thing when you do get those knuckles in right, once you get past that knuckles, it's going to suck your hand straight in. Okay, it sucks your hand straight in. I've never tried anal fisting, so I don't know that vaginal fisting like it will suck your hand straight in. But there's like that end point because cervix, right. Yeah, so that's when you sort of need to start curling your fingers into more of a fist right, as it were, because it feels good. It feels good and it depends on the vagina that you're playing with as well. It might be long enough where you can actually have your hands completely unfolded and you can play, like around the cervix and you know, you can start manipulating things.
Speaker 2:Obviously just trying what feels and trying different stuff and checking with your partner how that feels for them.
Speaker 1:But that's it. It's all about sort of checking in, seeing what they are experiencing and how they're feeling At that point. No, there might not be verbal feedback, because that sensation is so heavy that that person might not be able to talk. Yeah, so you need to be highly attuned to everything that's going on in terms of body language, eye movement, everything that's you know happening there, like if their eyes are rolling back in their head and they're like moaning in pleasure, then that's okay.
Speaker 1:Fair indication they enjoy it. But if their eyes are locked onto your hand and everything seems tense and tight, you need to figure out something there. Yeah, all right. So the other thing I think is with the vagina is that the muscles contract pretty involuntary right and you'll find that they'll just like lock onto your hand for a moment, and that's when you sort of basically just stop and wait for that. Wait, you wait, you tell the person to breathe and just wait till that sensation subsides and then you can start movement again. So it's pretty sort of overwhelming in terms of like a sensory sort of thing.
Speaker 1:But um, terms of like a sensory sort of thing, but um, yeah, this is very, very interesting.
Speaker 2:I'm learning so much, just in case you need to fist a vagina. You never know.
Speaker 1:Stranger things have happened, my friend but um, yeah, so I think the other thing as well that people who want to get into vaginal fisting now they find getting the hand in easy Yep, but getting it out is a very, very difficult thing. Really, it's super difficult because, like, think about it when you I'm going to relate this to an injury which is really fucking bad, but I actually don't want to go there, but it's the only sort of way that I can describe it. Let's say, you tear your thigh muscle, what does your thigh do? It contracts, right. When you've got a whole hand inside of vagina, its thing is that it wants to contract right, right, so everything around that pelvic floor is contracting around it because there's a lot of sensations there. Yeah, right, good sensations, but there's a lot of sensations. So the pelvic floor goes.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to contract around this, but in order to get a hand out, sometimes it locks it in. So you've got to go past that wide point of the knuckles again so that you can get the slip out. Yeah, how do you do it? That's the fucking hard part, right, because that pulling out Can be painful. That'd probably be painful, it's painful and often it's the most painful part of the whole experience. But there's two things that you can do to really sort of reduce that. And the first one is like sort of bear down, like you're trying to push it out. Yeah, because pushing it out it does it at its own pace. Yes, but if your hand is inside that, you sort of need to push back on that just slightly so it doesn't come flying out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't ever want something flying out, you just want it to be like a gradual sort of thing I can speak from experience Even just bottoming, like when you're done and that dick's coming out, there's nothing worse than a top that doesn't understand what he's doing and just pulls it out, rips it straight out that that shit's painful, it's fucked. You gotta take.
Speaker 1:you gotta take it slow just as slow as you you put it in equally as slow, pulling it out, yeah, totally totally the other thing that you can do cough not, not the person with the hand. There's no point in them coughing. It's like dude, you've got your hand in my fucking fanny, I've just got covid or some shit a picture of someone's hand stuck up someone else's vagina and they just go cough, baby cough.
Speaker 2:I can't get it out just cough honestly, though.
Speaker 1:So what coughing does? Is it basically for a moment? It releases every muscle. The doctors get you to do it when they fiddle with your balls right. Don't say the doctors fiddle with your balls. Don't they fiddle with your balls? No, do I need to find a new doctor?
Speaker 2:I think maybe you do. Oh fuck, when they are checking your balls and make you cough yeah, because everything like jumps up, yeah because everything jumps up, so that if you're stuck can sometimes do that.
Speaker 1:If that all doesn't work, then breathing techniques as well. So go back to breathing. But yeah, that's basically fisting, that's like a how-to on fisting. Yeah, no, in fact I'm going to say aftercare, oh yes aftercare.
Speaker 1:All right, important Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare, whether it's vaginal or anal. It's going to take a little bit of time for those tissues to come back online. All right, warm baths are really, really, really good, right, um, because they basically just help blood flow get back into that area. Then there's like gentle sort of massaging try to do it with like a vitamin e cream. There's like vitamin e creams, or there is like um, like certain oils, and then there's like a perineum massage oil as well that you can get and that basically helps to hydrate the skin and rehydrate all the skin.
Speaker 2:Because I mean, look, like I said, I haven't been fisted before but I have taken significant sizes and there might be a point where you do get a little bit of tearing, some fissures and stuff. I personally found that like a oil-based like, for example, something like purple ointment yeah, like lubing that up just so that everything's like supple and not dried out. That when you, I know it has to get stretched again or whatever. It's not as painful, yeah, and you kind of like healing it a little. Get stretched again, whatever. It's not as painful, yeah, and you kind of like healing it a little bit, yeah.
Speaker 1:So maybe take a break, don't try it again in an hour or two hours time or the next day?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Let your stuff get healed before you try that again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't do that, but like if fisting is something that you and your partner both want to work to, you can go to the next day of doing like a little bit of a stretch session, you know, just if it's a vagina, putting a couple of fingers into a vagina and just pulling down lightly because that helps to get that blood flow happening again. Like, remember, the area is probably going to feel like a little bit bruised and it's the same with the ass as well.
Speaker 2:Like slowly, slowly, just just get some butt plugs or something. Butt plugs, something, just like you got the one that you, so there's a butt plug you can stick in there, and it's actually got a pump oh, yeah, and you can pump it up where it actually goes in you and pumps up a little bit yeah that one can help as well yeah, to prepare you for yeah, those prep things are just.
Speaker 1:They're what it's all about. Like fisting is preparation. It's like painters talk about how a job is like 90% preparation.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say it's more preparation than it is actually having a good time Fisting is more prep and more check-in, and yeah, then I think, finally as well aftercare. Look after your asshole and your vagina.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but look after your partner as well. Yeah, Like, emotionally, like fisting is a massively emotional thing. Yeah, we talked about that at the start, how it ties people together so much. But for females especially, they're sitting there going, oh fuck, Like, do I have a loose vagina now? Am I going to be Am I now a slut because I can be fisted? You know, is anybody going to want to love me anymore? Blah, blah, blah. So there's a lot of emotions that go on after that. So it's our part Like it's our job as a partner to-.
Speaker 2:Just reassure them.
Speaker 1:Just reassure and just be like you know. That was an amazing experience. I love doing that with you. How do you feel about that? How do you feel?
Speaker 2:Because you might not understand what that other person's I mean. Like if you are the top in this situation, you will always be the top. You need to understand that's not something you will ever understand. So, speak to them and be like hey, look to them and be like, hey, look, how do you feel after that? Yeah, did you enjoy that? Are you feeling a little more vulnerable? What do you? And also, most importantly, just ask the question, what do you need?
Speaker 2:yeah what do you need? We've done that was great. What do you need now? Yeah, do you need to be alone and just think about what you, what's happened? Do you need me to be there for you and support you, whatever the case may be? Yeah, a lot of sexual experiences and trying out new kinks, emotions is the most important part of it, yeah, aftercare of your partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it's fucking huge that aftercare is. It can't be understated because, like if you fuck that part up, like literally if you just pull your hand out and go oh that was great, I came and you know I'm done.
Speaker 2:You don't mind it happening and you've ruined that whole situation just by five minutes afterwards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So you've really got to basically put the primacy and the pivotal Everything goes focused into your partner's pleasure, yeah, and as soon as they are not feeling pleasure anymore, you fucking stop exactly you check in and then you talk about how to carry on if that's what you want to do, but yeah, yeah, I don't know. Man, how are you feeling? Do you think that we covered fisting?
Speaker 2:I think we did and look and look. At the end of the day, we can always come back to it and do a deeper dive. Pardon the pun.
Speaker 1:We'll do a deeper anal fisting session.
Speaker 2:Do a deeper anal fisting session on that one. But yeah, I think that's pretty much it I love that. We're good, we're good. Well, people, peace until next time.
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