Super Sex

SuperSex Reheated: Hotwifing, Explained

• Jordan Walker, Kate Campbell & Tarsh Wilson

Share episode

Send us a text

Ever had a fantasy you were almost afraid to admit—even to yourself? We go straight at one of the most misunderstood dynamics in sex and relationships: hotwifing. No humiliation scripts, no clickbait; we draw a clean line between hotwifing and cuckolding, and then we get into the real engine behind it—compersion. Think of it as pleasure multiplied, not divided: the arousal of seeing your partner deeply satisfied, nested within ironclad trust and crystal‑clear boundaries.

We unpack why this can be so powerful for some couples, from the psychology of witnessing pleasure to the way novelty and variety keep desire alive. We talk about the hardest part—bringing it up without blowing up the relationship—and we offer practical steps: how to frame the first conversation, set hard no‑gos, choose whether encounters are witnessed or solo, design safer sex protocols, and build aftercare that re-bonds you. Along the way, we rethink power. The “stag” might curate scenes, but consent lives with the partner receiving pleasure; the guest (or “bull”) becomes a respected, consenting instrument in the couple’s shared erotic script. That shift changes everything.

You’ll also hear community wisdom from people who live the lifestyle: expect surprises, communicate more than you think you need, and keep ethics front and centre—no racial fetish myths, no secrecy that risks harm, and no pushing a partner past their true yes. Maybe this becomes a path you explore, or maybe the conversation alone refreshes desire. Either way, the takeaway is simple: with consent, respect, and honest talk, you can write a relationship that fits your real wants—not someone else’s rules.

If this sparked new questions or gave you language you’ve been missing, follow, rate, and share with a friend who loves smart, brave conversations about sex and intimacy. Then tell us: what would your first boundary be?


VOTE NOW!!!

https://adultchoiceawards.com.au/vote/

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome back to Super Text, the only Pokemon that's brave enough to rehate last night's leftovers and serven up your sexual curiosity. Anyways, before we get to Splash today, we have been nominated for an Adult Industry Choice Award in the very first unit. That's massive. But if this show has ever made you laugh, learn or text someone, hey, we really need to talk, please vote after three times a day via the link in the show notes. In return, I promise that Tash will not start an OnlyFans account for her house plans, and I will stop talking about really big things. At least for maybe 24 hours, let's say. Okay, that should be a deal. Great. Go vote. Thank you. Alright folks, buckle up. Today we're diving headfirst into the fascinating, spicy, and often misunderstood world of hotwifing. What is it? Why are some people into it? And most importantly, what does it say about the psychology of desire, trust, and the complexities of human relationships? We're unpacking the juicy details, exploring the emotions that drive this dynamic, and breaking down the misconceptions. So whether you're curious, confused, or ready to take notes, stay tuned because this episode is serving up the ultimate crash course on hop wiping. Hey Toronto Straights, gays, and A's. Welcome to Super Sex, the podcast, where we have conversations and share our perspectives on sexuality, sex, and more. I'm Shannon.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm Jordan. Two friends with one straight, one gay, taking on all things sex. Hey dude. I just want to start by saying something to you. Yes. You're looking really good today. Thanks. I like your look.

SPEAKER_02:

I like the white shirt, the cab. It's looking good for you. You know my wife's into white shirts, eh? Is she? Yeah, it's like her thing. Really? White shirt and jeans.

SPEAKER_00:

To be fair, I think it also is awesome. I think I think a guy that is just simple. Yeah. White shirt, blue jeans. Brilliant. Yeah, I've been called simple a lot.

SPEAKER_02:

Um yeah, I mean. You know, you know. Yeah. I I do simple well.

SPEAKER_00:

We're not saying average, because you're not average. No, no, I'm far below it.

SPEAKER_02:

Um speaking of, what are we discussing on today's episode? So this one is something I've I heard about maybe two or three years ago. Okay. And I've had a morbid fascination with it since. I'm very, very intrigued.

SPEAKER_00:

Hot wifing and cuckholding. Okay, I know what cuckolding is because I've learnt about it legit in the past only the past maybe few months. Yeah. But what is hot wifing and what's the difference between the two? Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Cuckholding is basically where a wife or a partner or a female partner will sleep with other guys and try to demean the partner. The partner. By sleeping with said other other dude. Yeah, so it might look a bit like, oh, you know, you definitely can't make me come, so I'm gonna go and see this guy who's got a fucking 12-inch cock, and he's gonna make me come because you're a worthless piece of shit that can't get me off aroused. Right. You know, and the female might be that might be her arousal point, or it might be the male liking to be degraded or something like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Question, is this them okay, for example, right? She says, you know, your dick's too small, blah blah blah. I'm gonna fuck this dude. Is it fucking in front of husband, or is it just is it solely in fucking fucking in front of husband? Is it I'm just gonna go out there and fuck somebody? It can be it can be both. Okay, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_02:

It can be both. And some dynamics, some cuck holding dynamics, they do not play in front of each other.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Others will play in front of each other and solo, and then others will only do it in front of each other. Right. Okay, and cuck holding as well. There is a large race play element to it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

With black guys. Of course. The fetisation of fetis I never can say this word, but that word of black men. The assumption that black all men, black men are like got a 12-inch cock. Yeah, and they know how to please a woman because testosterone and yay, and but we won't go there because we all know that that's not the truth. But anyway, whatever. Well, I've always told you just remember never forget skinny white boys. Skinny white guys.

SPEAKER_02:

Twinks.

SPEAKER_00:

Twink, bro. Not twinkies, not twinkies, twinks. Try and shove a twinky somewhere and you're gonna get an infection. But the biggest dicks I've ever seen are on skinny white boys and short skinny white boys. Sorry, I digress, keep going. Gonna have to cut myself off on the knees and lose a few pounds. Well, if you cut it yourself off the knees, bro, it's gonna look huge. I will be a tripod.

SPEAKER_02:

I've got short legs anyway, so I mean these thighs are only like four inches. That'll make you lopsided.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so cuck holding is uh the premise of it is I'm getting is that it's more the degrading part of things.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the degrading part of it, right? Right. It's it's maybe a bit of emasculation. It's you can't blaze me, I need to get my rocks off, and you can't do it, so I'm gonna go and find it somewhere else, right? Right. Hot wifing. Hot wifing is where basically it's not about the emasculation. Some people call it stag vix and dynamics. Okay, right. But it's more it boils down to a couple of things. Okay. And I went on Reddit to ask this question, you know, what is it about it? And I got a whole heap of questions from the Reddit community. All right. I'll I'll read out some of them. Let's do this. Okay. So I asked two questions. Um first one was what would you want people to know about this lifestyle before entering into it? And the second one, what makes this fantasy lifestyle so hot for you? Right. So I'll answer the second one because that's where we're going from. So, what makes this fantasy lifestyle so hot for you? So, some of the qu some of the responses. From a relationship point of view, the level of trust that is required from an envoy enjoyment point of view, I love seeing her happy, satisfied, and turned on. That turns me on. To see her almost look drunk with lust and satisfaction is a beautiful thing. Right. That, in a word, is compersion. Right. Compersion is the opposite of jealousy.

SPEAKER_00:

Right? So you seeing somebody, your partner, happy and or elated from whatever that might be. Yep. However it is.

SPEAKER_02:

Another one, I get pleasure from my wife getting pleasure. Compersion again. Right. It is just like a guy that enjoys giving oral just because his partner enjoys it. This is an extension of the same idea. Also, our sex life got much better after entering the lifestyle. Because all of the previous norms that may have been set over decades get revisited. Guess what? Things that were completely off the table ten years ago may be preferences now.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh another one. Person has just simply put the word compersion. The pleasure is multiplied, not divided. When you know you are with the one, seeing their pleasure brings you pleasure. It's a beautiful feedback loop that is primal in its power. Okay. So then there's then there's one that sort of changes a little bit. The fantasy is hot because it's so real and raw. The emotions are bubbling at the surface of a cauldron of needs, desires, and wants. Sifting through the emotions of seeing your wife receiving way more pleasure than you alone can provide makes it all worthwhile. Right. Okay. So they are some of the answers that I got. I also got another answer through a private DM, which was very, very different. Okay. So what that one was, I'm trying to find out exactly where it was. Okay. I asked a question, what makes it hot for you? Right. And they responded, for me, I love taking the wife shopping for outfits and heels. For me, it's the build-up and making sure and knowing that she's a slut.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. So, and there's several other messages that I got from different people that echoed that. So there's two reasons why guys are into this. Firstly, it's a conversion. Yep. You love somebody so much and you want to see their pleasure multiplied, not divided, which I think was fucking brilliant. Perfect way of saying it, yep. But then there's the other part, which is, I think, a little different and quite interesting. And I think that's why I've become fascinated with the psychology behind this. People who want to see their wives be slut. People who want to see their partners be sluts. Because hot wifing is not just a thing for straight people.

SPEAKER_00:

Gay people are also doing it as well. Oh, yeah, gay people do this. I mean, I've m I've watched many a porn with the exact same thing, like I told you. That and to be honest, I'm not saying it's something that I would be into per se, but I totally understand where it's coming from.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00:

And I totally get that that's something that if me and my partner decided, hey, let's try this, I would be 100% down to try it. Because just with the fact that I'm coming from the perspective of both sides. Would I love my partner to be a slut? But like a little bit of con sense of control there, my slot. Yep. Okay. Because you're my slut.

SPEAKER_02:

That's cool.

SPEAKER_00:

There's a little bit of control because I'm c I I'm seeing it as a thing, is like, you know what? You're my slut. Yeah. And I'm allowing you to be able to explore your slutty side. And vice versa. A little bit of control in there. And there's the other thing.

SPEAKER_02:

In the lifestyle, we'll call it the lifestyle. Yeah. Because it's different lifestyles, like swingers call theirs, the lifestyle, hot wife, hot wife is called theirs, the lifestyle and whatnot. But in the lifestyle, generally, not always, but generally, the person who is finding the bulls, because the bulls are the single guys who come and fuck the fuck the wife. Right. The person who is finding the bulls is the husband. That's a little bit of control there. It's control. Of course it's control. It's control. It's it's it's finding the perfect person to give you bull pleasure. Your your wife pleasure. And you getting pleasure from that if that's what you're doing. Yeah, exactly. And like people are sitting there now going, what the fuck? This sounds so fucked up. But I'm gonna draw this back to porn. Yep. They did a study on porn and they analysed a whole heap of different people when they were lanking off and watching porn. What part of the body do you think that the person was looking at for the majority of the porn?

SPEAKER_00:

Look, I wanna say I want to be that person to say the dick. But it's probably not what is it? The face.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the face, it's the eyes and the mouth specifically. To see how they what how they're reacting. Because what we are looking for when we are in those sexual situations is pleasure is to see the partner receive pleasure. Yeah. Right. And that is an inherent built-in thing, and that comes down as well to ego. Right? So if somebody turns around to you and says, Sherman's fucking amazing in bed, made me come 27,000 times in a three-minute period, and person's a fucking god. Yep. How do you feel about yourself? Well, it's happened, so of course I felt great. Oh Lord. Yep, that is good. You feel fucking amazing. Feel amazing, right? So giving pleasure is tied to our ego. Yes. As within the confines of a relationship, you are how can I say it? Within the confines of a relationship, you you don't, as a straight dynamic, you don't have all that many options really to diversify that pleasure and to multiply it. Like, yes, you can get a vibrator. Yep. But after a while, the vibrator becomes the same. And yes, you can get a different vibrator. Well, it's gonna be all the same fucking thing eventually. Like you've really got to start working hard to build that. But then when you start adding different people in there, it's a way for the person to be able to amplify a person's pleasure.

SPEAKER_00:

Look, I can speak to that because it sounds like confession time. This is my thing, right? I have a large list. I've got a big number, right? I've got a big number.

SPEAKER_02:

That's normal.

SPEAKER_00:

I have a large list. I've got a big I've got a very large body count, right? For that exact reason. Because look, being in a relationship, obviously I know that I would be the person that sure I might need a lot of sex, but I'll be quite fine with having sex with one person. Yeah. Because it's the right person. Yeah. However, outside of a relationship, I would probably not want to go back to the same person multiple times. Okay. But experience different dudes all the time. Okay. Yeah. There is a very small amount of people, very small, very small amount of guys that are my regular dudes that have been regular dudes for years. Right. On and off, because I'm comfortable enough, right? Yeah. But even those dudes, as comfortable as I am with them, it's still not going to be a thing that happens all the time. I'm not going to call them every week or every day. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to air in the side of I'm going to I'm going to flip more towards somebody new. Yeah. Because I want to experience someone new. Okay. I don't want to be bored.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm I'm going to give you this now, right? So we've established that your sexual enjoyment comes from variety. Yes. You don't want to be bored by just the same old dick all the time. Okay. And that you you do enjoy playing with different people. Yeah. Right? Those things now make it difficult to be in a relationship. Correct? But not so much in a gay relationship. Because gay people are a little bit more understanding of these things.

SPEAKER_00:

A little bit more open to monog uh um, you know, not having a monogamous relationship, polyamory visiting, etc. C and M stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Spot on. If you are a female, a straight female, and you also have those same thoughts and beliefs around sex, you are gonna find it almost impossible to get into a relationship. Yes. No, in fact, you're not gonna find it impossible. You're gonna you're gonna search for a relationship. Well, most people have searched for a relationship. Most people will find a relationship and they'll tie themselves down to it and be utterly miserable.

SPEAKER_00:

And it doesn't won't work because of your ideas of what is uh pleasurable, for example, to you.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right. And then you're not going to get on board with that, okay? So then things start breaking down in a relationship because you're not satisfied. Yes. No matter how much your husband or your partner is trying to make things dynamic and whatnot, it's just not enough, right? Enter hot liking. Right? But it's a massive fucking jump to be able to get get there. Of course.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a massive jump. I feel like that would be such a difficult fucking conversation. We've spoken about the importance of communication in literally 95% of our episodes that we've done. But have we ever spoken about the difficulty of bringing up? I mean, it would be a for me personally, if it was out of left field, for example. Don't need it coming from left field. If I was just sitting there and my partner said, Hey, yeah, have you heard of this? Even if you brought it up in the most casual way, in the best possible way, the advice that we've given to bring out things. Go into the kitchen. Go into the kitchen one year. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

What do you think?

SPEAKER_00:

I would genuinely, even though I'm the person that is open to wanting to have sex with different people all the time. Yeah. I would find that difficult because my insecurities would come into play. Yeah. And I'd start thinking, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, am I not good enough?

unknown:

Am I not pretty?

SPEAKER_00:

There would be those things. So it would be a very, very difficult thing to go from normal relationship to hot wifing.

SPEAKER_02:

And can you imagine like it's one thing being the wife or the partner who wants to go out there and play and say, hey, I need more. Yes. Right? But imagine being the husband.

SPEAKER_00:

I think that's so much more difficult.

SPEAKER_02:

Who approaches the wife, and the wife is happily monogamous. Has no idea.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, that would be fucking 10,000 times more difficult. So much more difficult. How do you how do you navigate that? Because as the wife, look, the wife says it, right? Look, the husband might have been like, oh, I don't know, I don't know. This is a bit weird. This is different. Do you want something else? For a dude to do it, I mean, how how do you have that conversation?

SPEAKER_02:

Babe, I want you to fuck other guys.

SPEAKER_00:

And I feel like that would come across as just off the top of my head, putting myself in that situation, I'd be like, What are you fucking want to pimp me out now? Am I a hoe? What are you pimp now? That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

But how how would that even work? And how do those conversations go down?

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, we can talk about communication until the cars come home and say, Oh, all you need to do is this and bring it up in this kind of way and bring it up. But the reality of this situation and bringing up this particular topic with a partner, let alone a husband or a wife, would be fucking difficult.

SPEAKER_02:

It's and there's so much anxiety with that as well. Of course. Like we we talked about how important sex is and how important it is to a relationship. You are by broaching this with your partner, you are almost sort of sitting there going, I want to collapse the foundations on which our relationship is built. Because most monogamous relationships are built on the fact that you're exclusive to each other, right? So you're basically saying sitting there saying, I want to collapse everything that we've known about our relationship into this rewrite it again.

SPEAKER_00:

But at the same time, this is the thing, right? It would be difficult, granted. But it might cause issues, probably. Could it mean that at the end of your relationship? There's a possibility. But at the same time, right? Finding out that this is something that you could possibly be into, you and your partner. That evolution of your relationship to this next level. The opposite side of that is that you can get your relationship that this this oh man stratospherical is that a word? I know it is. Stratospherical level of a relationship where you're like, holy fuck, I've never loved my partner more, I've never been turned on by them more, I've never wanted him more or her more because of the fact that we have gotten to this point where we figured out what we like, what we don't like. We're trying all this shit. It's amazing. Hey, does it mean we have to do it forever? No, maybe not. Doesn't mean we have to do fluidity. It doesn't mean we have to do it every week or every time we have sex. Yeah. No. Fluid shit's shit's fluid. The week the the the word of the week. Fluid. Fluid and fluidity. Shit changes. Your tastes could change. Tell me when you were a kid, did you like Brussels sprouts? No, hated them. Love them now. I fucking hated broccoli as a kid. I couldn't understand why anyone would eat it. Yeah. It is my favorite vegetable. Really? Yeah, I love that. Broccoli? I do love broccoli. I look for good broccoli. A nice head of broccoli. Just no teeth. Just no teeth. But this is the thing, is that your shit changes over the over the time. It totally does. And that's based on what? Yeah. Trying something. Trying something. My being curious. When I was younger, the thing I hated the most in the world was pop. Most people are not going to understand what that is, but it's basically white polenta, right? Oh, yeah. And in South Africa, it's a staple, a black staple, right? Yeah. I could not physically eat it because I didn't like the texture and the taste. I physically couldn't swallow it, right? Yeah. Now it is my favorite food. If I was on death row and they told me what's your last meal, it would be puppy on that thing. Because why? One day I went back to Africa, someone made it. I tried it as an adult and went, fuck, this is delicious. Yeah, yeah. Same thing with any anything out there. Fucking try it. It's it's how to try it though. It's how, but that's the problem is getting there. I mean, it's easy. Food is easy, you can fucking put in your mouth and try it. I mean, yeah, hey, you could still do that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you can definitely put uh things in your mouth and try and see how you feel. I think that with that whole hot wipe thing thing, the very thought of bringing it up would give so many people some anxiety. Oh fuck yeah. And when you go through that Reddit forum and you have a look at what some people are talking about, you know, um, like there was there's one story on a on a different forum, but a guy opened up to his wife that he wanted her to be a hot wife. And as soon as he did that, he started experiencing erectile dysfunction. Because basically the anxiety of it.

SPEAKER_00:

The anxiety of it exactly, and you know it all in your head.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, right. So sex starts up here, it starts up there, and our relationships, while they're not based around sex, sex is very important to it. Sex is important, it's like almost a keystone within a relationship.

SPEAKER_00:

Look, people don't like to admit it, but sex is very important, it's a very big part of relationship. Yes, fair enough. I've said the thing where you know 10% if it's you know if it's if it's good, it's a small percentage, if it's bad, it's a big percentage. Yeah, I don't agree with that. It's important, it's very fucking important, it's a big percentage because if it's good, great. It is the important part of your relationship to bond. Yeah, and it's a good relationship. But if it's bad or you don't talk about it, or you just don't do it, it's a big part. It's still a very fucking important part of any because it's an intimate act, right? Yeah, it's not just fucking. No, it's it's not, it's an intimate act of being vulnerable. It's it's I mean, you can it's it's bonding. It's bonding. Tell me that you've never, as uh as a husband, ever, I don't know, had sex after an argument and it made everything better.

SPEAKER_02:

See, this is strange. Oh god. Here we go. I've never had an argument with my wife.

SPEAKER_00:

That's not strange. That's fucking abnormal. Coming from a dysfunctional country, this is what is this white man talking about? This is see, this in my culture, this is what we would call some white people shit, uh but also jealous.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, um I I gotta be honest, I'm so blessed in in my relationship, and I'm so blessed that my wife and I have got this incredible communication.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, takeaway fight.

SPEAKER_02:

There has to be been a moment where you are the two of you are like not happy, but then um so yes, but it never gets to an argument or a disagreement because we our f our first thing is to always be like, hey, this has happened or this is going to happen. This community What do you think about it, what do you feel about it, and we're both so in tune with what the other needs and feels that and we prioritize I prioritize my wife's thoughts, feelings, emotions all the time over mine, and like people might sit there and go, Oh, that's dysfunctional in itself, but no, because my wife being happy makes me happy. So fuck you.

SPEAKER_00:

Happy wife, you know, happy life, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But we're we're well off the hot wiping thing, yeah. Well off, but um no, like getting back to hot wiping thing though, it's it's very interesting because there are a few different ways that it actually goes down.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_02:

Speak on them. So guy, husband will find a guy for his wife to go with. That might look like a solo date. Right. It might look like the husband and wife catching up with this person and then all three of them going back and playing. It might look like all three of them catching up for a drink, everyone going their separate way, and then the wife catching up with the ball separately. Right. Okay. So there's a few different ways that it goes down. Right. And it seems to be as well that the initial desire and how all these things are developed sort of plays out with how it actually plays out, yeah. I suppose. Right? Like, I suppose for the person who wants to see his wife be a slut, loves buying her, I can imagine, scoopy dresses, big heels, and he wants her to go out and do one-on-one dates because that to him is probably being slutty, right? Yes. Um but in a weird sort of way, it is the ultimate within a relationship. Can you trust Can you imagine having so much trust within your partnership that you could sit there and go, I'm gonna dress like a fucking slag tonight, go out, get railed by another guy, and come home to my husband and know that everything is fine.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you know what? Maybe I'm completely insane in thinking this about myself. But I think that I would have I know many people are gonna disagree with me right now when they listen to this and be like, Shaman, bullshit. But I think to me, I'm not a jealous person by nature, yeah, right? And I would have utmost trust trust in my partner. That bullshit of people go, Oh, you know, I don't try I don't trust what other people are gonna do. Who gives a fuck what other people are gonna do? Yeah, I trust you. And if you do something, then you you are the one that's fucked up, right? Not the other person. That is very a little bit intriguing to me. Yeah. Because I think I would be I might be that person that would be quite fine with one if I was the the if I was the the person that was going out there. If you were the hot husband, if I was the hot husband. Going out there, fucking dudes, and knowing that I can come home to my husband, jump in the bed, cuddle up next to him, give him a kiss, and have him cuddle me and fall asleep. Fuck yeah, that'd be amazing, knowing that my partner trusts me. But on the flip side of that, if I was the what's the other person called? The person that's in charge? Stag. Let's just say the stag. If I was the stag too, knowing that I trust, I've I've set parameters for my hot husband to go, well, you're going with Jordan, for example.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

That's all you're gonna do. It's just only Jordan, you can go out and you can do this. We obviously we're gonna have our rules. Yep. Right? Yep. And knowing that my partner followed those rules, did what he wanted, enjoyed himself because I'm getting the pleasure from knowing that I'm a little bit in control here, and came home to me. Fuck yeah. See, I get would I do it? Maybe not. Do I understand it? Fuck yeah. See, the fantasy could be there though, without actually having to act on it. This is true. Like the fantasy of that just sounds insane to me, but insanely good. Yeah, yeah. I mean, again, would I act on it? I don't know. Probably not. But the idea of it, it's not something I'm gonna go, oh, that's just gross. Why why would anyone want to do that? I can completely understand why someone wants to do that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, totally. I I think I read, I don't think, I know. I read a stat. I can't remember exactly what the percentage was, but it was in the high 70s. How many people have fantasized about their partner fucking somebody else?

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's a very high percentage. I've seen that too somewhere.

SPEAKER_02:

It's in the high 70s, and it's it's it all must boil down to those two things conversion, you want to see your partner absolutely get their rocks off. Because realistically, there's not that much more that you could do than really want to pleasure your partner. Like that is it sounds fucking weird. It seems like a real pure act. It does to want your partner to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00:

But this is the thing, is that I think the issue here lies in societal norms. Yes. You I think that 70% is a lot higher. What you reckon is higher than 70%. I reckon it's a lot higher than 70%. Yeah. Because I think that because we're so conditioned by society that monogamy is correct, yeah. Um wanting your wife to be fucked by someone else is goes against what if religious beliefs, all these other things that have been placed us on placed onto us by society, that you automatically, you're before you even thought it, you saying, Oh, it's wrong. Some someone can listen to this podcast and think this is fucking bullshit immediately. But where does that come from? Why do you think it's bullshit? You haven't even thought about it, you haven't listened to it. Like I'm listening to you, learning something from it, going, hold on, this is something that I can understand. Where someone will just go, this is bullshit, not even think, not even want to understand it. That comes from their conditioning of societal norms that we don't even think this way. Yeah. So therefore, I think that percentage of 70% is probably a lot higher.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's true.

SPEAKER_00:

But people are so close off to even contemplating what that will look like within their relationship. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, because as soon as you sort of have to challenge that thought, you're challenging so much more in your mind. Like, I had a dream one night, right? I had a dream one night where I was with my wife, and there were several other faceless people, male people around her, right? Let's call it what it is, gangbang. I had a dream about a gangbang with faceless people. I woke up in the morning and I was so fucking conflicted. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me? What was that? What was that? Yeah. It like it like fucking tore at my core.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I was just like, this is so fucking messed up.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, there's so many emotions. How did you feel? What did you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And I was just like, this is not okay. But then I did the unpacking of it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. So the unpacking of it is that, you know, I do like to see my wife have experienced pleasure, which is cool. Is that something necessarily that I'd ever want to do?

SPEAKER_00:

Fuck no. But it's something that you the thing is, but the part, the most important part is you sat and you unpacked it. And you went, where, why? Not going, not beating yourself up and going, fuck, that's fucked up, that's horrible. Why would I think that I'm a bad person? Or even going the opposite, going, Why the fuck would I think that about her? Yeah. And then, you know. Yeah. Uh projecting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

What is it that she's done to make me think that she's like, then projecting onto her, then why the fuck?

SPEAKER_00:

And then maybe you get upset with her because of your fucking dream because there are fucked up people out there that would do that.

SPEAKER_02:

I've totally had that before. I had an ex that sat there. She woke up in the morning and she was like, I fucking hate you. No, hold on. Stop, stop, stop. I have to say something though. You did this to me last night. I'm like, no, I didn't. I was asleep. And she's like, no, in my dream, I don't like you.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm just like, fucking crazy crack, bro. Let me ask you a question though. Like, I've always thought that women are. When women say this, and I've many female friends that have like they dreamt their husband of cheating. They woke up and they're so fucking pissed off with them and they're like, what the fuck? I always thought women are crazy for that. Until I had a dream. Can't remember what the dream was about. It wasn't about a partner or anything like that. It was, I think it might have been somebody, something about work, maybe, right? Yeah. But in this dream, this person pissed me off to the point where I wanted to fucking rip their throat out. Yeah. When I tell you the rest of the day, I did not want to see that fucker's face in my office. I what and I remember sitting thinking, oh, this is what happens when women dream that their partners are cheating on them and they get really upset. This is what it's like. I will never judge a woman ever again. Ever again. Was your partner crazy? Probably. But I'm just saying. No, she was. You know her. Yeah, she was fucked. I didn't want to say. But from the perspective of experiencing it. Yeah, yeah. Totally understand that part.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. It's it's wild. Unpacking, no. I want to unpack the DM that I got. Wanting your wife to be a slut. Let's unpack that one together. Because this is something that like I haven't really thrown my thought process at. And I think let's just spitball it.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so for me, what why is that hot? Because I feel like wanting my partner. For example, psychology behind, let's just say porn, right? Yeah. What kind of porn do most people like? Fantasy. Yeah. The fantasy of the slut. Yeah. For me, I can tell you there's many situations, many things that I've realized that I've liked about porn. One of them being a slutty guy, for example. Put it out there, calm down being fucked by literally 15 or 16 guys. Yeah. I do find that hot. If that was my partner, I can kind of understand looking at it and thinking, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Because I know the porn that I like. Yeah. And it might be that cum dumb situation. Looking at that bottom thinking, you fucking slut, you taking all that dick, it's hot. Yeah. So why can I not take that situation and put it into practice in real life? But again, I think it all comes down to control.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it comes down to quality of relationship. Explain. Okay. Trust? Trust. Like we we talk compersion. But compersion you can only fully be happy to allow your partner to go off with other people and experience pleasure if you 100% trust them. Absolutely. Okay. And that trust generally is the foundation of a relationship. Yes. So unless your relationship is a hundred percent fucking flawless, I think this particular lifestyle could be problematic.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. It's a very I think it's a very niche thing that a very small percentage of couples could partake in healthily. Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think that your relationship needs to be completely built on trust. Ironclad. Ironclad trust. Because if you're going out there acting like a slut and doing slutty things, you know, which is great, and then you come back to a relationship where there's not that much trust, fireworks are going to happen all over the world. Of course. But if you're going out there with the full trust, permission, and love of your partner, it's a completely different story. Because your partner then has firstly control over the situation. But secondly, they've got a partner who they see pleasure in. And suppose they've won themselves their own little personal porn star as well.

SPEAKER_00:

But that's what I see it from. That that's the perspective I come from is my own little porn star. Yeah. So I can say you got there being it'll be a little slud. Yeah. I want to set these different scenes up for you. I want to set these different scenes. I want to picture it this way. I want you to be, you know, for example, tied up some bondage, you can't get out of it, and there's, you know, I've chosen four guys just come in here and absolutely rail the absolute bejesus out of you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's I think like there's there's a lot that goes into it. Yeah. But I think at the end of the day, you can only truly have that fantasy of your wife want being like or your partner being an absolute slut if you have so much trust and faith in them and in the relationship. I just thought of something else.

SPEAKER_00:

The idea that that person loves me so much that they were willing to submit to being the said slot.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, let's go there. Because remember how like a few minutes back we said that the wife might be the one who brings this up, but then it's a lot of the time it's a husband. Yes. Right? What happens when the wife just sees this from left field and is like, what the fuck? Okay, now I've got to go and shag somebody else. Yes. And that really is that the ultimate show of love?

SPEAKER_00:

100%. That's uh it just literally flipped in my head. I went, hold on, but hold on. From the other's point of view, this person is showing me it's as much as, for example, as the let's just say I'm the um the stag, whatever in the relationship that I'm the one that thinks that I'm in control. Yeah, it's the idea that that other, let's just put it okay for me being gay, let's just say I'm the top, he's the bottom, right? And I want him to be a slot and get fucked by 10 guys. Yeah, him as this bottom willing to be able to submit to three other guys for me. Who is in control here? It's a shared, it's a it's a shared responsibility between two of us. Yeah. Whether I think I'm in control, whether that person is giving, is is so giving they're willing to give this to me as a gift. It's about both sides giving something.

SPEAKER_02:

It's almost like a back and forth conversion. Yes. Like you want to see your partner go out and get railed by 10 dudes, right? But your partner wants you to wants to go out and get railed by 10 dudes. But for you, they know that this is something you love. You're gonna be the one that's so fucking horny and just want the question is what time after that.

SPEAKER_00:

We both do the exact same thing because I want to see their satisfaction on their face by getting railed by three dudes because I know it's something they might like. Yep, but they are wanting to see my face with my pleasure knowing that I'm doing this for them.

SPEAKER_02:

It's like a dual conversion.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a dual conversion because you think about it both ways. We're both getting obviously both getting pleasure out of it for different reasons. I might think I'm in control by choosing these guys, but you're in control by allowing all of this to happen. Right? So it's not about who's in more control, it's about that two-way street of composion, as you're saying, where we are both. Yeah. Think about physically, let's just say that the one partner, I want to be in the room when it happens. Yep. He's looking at me seeing my joy on my face. That eye contact, that eye contact, and it's making me fucking crazy. Yeah, that's that's extremely powerful for that person. That's extremely powerful for that person, but me seeing his face that he is, man. Maybe I don't understand because I'm thinking his pleasure is coming from these dudes and he's just in ecstasy, but his pleasure is actually seeing me happy. Yeah, yeah. So it's this constant cycle, non-stop, fucking uh what you call it, infinite loop of we're both happy to see each other's pleasure. In a weird way. It's not actually about the other person, is it? No, it's not. It's it's it's about it's about a relationship, it's about a couple, it's about being that is so strange. It's about being a a unit, right? Mind blown.

SPEAKER_02:

It's it's like you could almost think of it as though the bull or the other person that's entering into this is like a sex toy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

And you are using that sex toy to get each other off in different in different ways.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. But there is no I think in the beginning, if people don't fully understand it, I think they would think there is a power dynamic where the bull or the stag, for example, is a little bit more in control and the vixen are all in a stretch situation. Yeah, but eventually I think they'll probably just like how we figured out right now, that it's a give-take. There is nobody that's more in control just because you're the person that went and found those dudes, yeah, doesn't mean you were more in control because she is in a lot of control because she's allowed it to happen. Yeah, I mean, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Firstly, consent, but yeah, she she she actually has all the power in this room.

SPEAKER_00:

All the power because she said, This is something you want and you like. Yeah, I hold it in my hand and I'm giving it to you and saying, you know what? I'm gonna do this for you. That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And then you looking at her going, I love this because you're enjoying it. Yeah, like I could walk downstairs to my wife right now and go, Hey, I want you to be a little slut, go out there tonight and get banged. Yeah. And she could sit there and look at me and go, fuck no. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's not something I'm willing to give to you. The the power is all there. Exactly. She might turn around and go, uh, yeah, sure, cool. I'll give that power. I'll I will allow that to happen for you. But basically, that doesn't become anything more than a fantasy. Yeah. Until she greenlights that. How crazy is that? That's deep. That's fucking deep, bro. It's all the fucking power lies with the person who's getting railed. Yes. It's like the ultimate power bottom.

SPEAKER_00:

But this is and I was just about to go to gay tops and bottoms.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Everyone assumes that the top is the one that's in control.

SPEAKER_01:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

No, you're not. Because if you had 10 tops, what the fuck are you going to do with each other? You have to have a bot at one bottom to 10 tops, and you're all going to have a good time. But who holds that control? The bottom who allows you to enter him. Because if he says no, what you gonna do? It's pretty much the ultimate power move, then to be, isn't it? But this thing is I hate when in the gay community and in the straight community, how people will um minimize bottoms and oh, you know, if you're a bottom, it's it's below, and you know, to be a top is more masculine. Bro, to be a bottom, you have all the fucking power because you can drive a top crazy. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Because the thing is, if you go into a club and there's only tops, he ain't fucking nobody. It's true. All he needs is one bottom, and that one bottom, well, hmm, I chose you. Everyone needs a bottom. Everyone needs a fucking bottom. A good butt good bottom.

SPEAKER_02:

A very, very good bottom. Alright. My question to you is though, right? Imagine you've brought this up with your partner. They've agreed, cool, it's a hot fantasy. We're starting to take that next step. Before we read out what the people in the Reddit forum responded, what do you think would be some of the things that you'd need to know about getting into the lifestyle?

SPEAKER_00:

Getting into the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02:

Or what skills do you think that you'd need as a couple or a person?

SPEAKER_00:

For me personally, it'll be communication and making sure that we have boundaries, but getting into it, oh god. I don't know. I think communication's communication is is key to anything because you have to make okay. For me, the first step would be after we've had this conversation and this person's I brought it up or he's brought it up. Yep. Okay, cool. Let's let's create boundaries immediately. Before we go anywhere and do anything, what are our our we don't have to make rules, but we can figure out what our hard knows. Yep, totally. If I say you're going out and you want to be, I want you to be a slut, I only want you to sleep with one person. Yeah, and what what does that look like? And what does that look like? Or I want to choose, you can have as many as you like, but I need to choose them. Yep. And then once you're done, you come home to me, you don't sleep over, you don't you know what I mean? Or you do it in a place where I know that you're gonna be safe, or I know how to or you never do it more than you don't do it more than once with the same person. Yeah, for me, rules would be the most important because you're not gonna get out of this unscathed if you don't have rules. Yeah, totally. And then from there more into research, yeah. Where can you do it? Is there community yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I I think from my understanding, setting up those rules is essential at the start to know where where you can and can't go. And it also when the rules are in place, it sort of allows your partner as well to know that hey, no matter how hot and horny I get, I still respect our rules that we set together.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's it's just reaffirming that trust with each other. Yes. All right, let's read out what some of the people in the community responded to that question. So the question was uh what would you want people to know about this lifestyle before entering into it? And some of the responses were that it is filled with normal people that want to be as discreet as you are.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02:

So that to me speaks of there's a fucking load of people that are actually doing this. We just don't know about it. You just don't know about it. Yep. Who is it? It's next door neighbor for sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, it's the people that you think are the the least freakiest.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Okay, next one. Husbands of hot wives are generally very secure in both their relationship and their sexual prowess with their wife. If we weren't, we'd not be able to allow and enjoy this lifestyle. The couple has to be 100% committed to being life partners before entering into this lifestyle. So, exactly what we just talked about. Makes sense. I actually haven't read these until now. Okay, cool. Um next one. No matter how prepared you feel, there will be surprises. Will is emphasized in this. Of course. Feelings you never thought you'd feel, jealousy, disappointment, frustration, doubt, will appear in some form or fashion. The best defense against these is honesty and true communication. Wow, these are pretty fucking deep, eh? Like you can see that these people are very in tune with their thoughts and feelings and emotions.

SPEAKER_00:

Which I think you cannot do this without being that kind of person.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Next one. The lifestyle isn't for the faint-hearted. You have to want it deep in your core and know that is right for both of you, not just one. Correct.

SPEAKER_00:

So you can't push this on your own. If it's your it's it's something that you're interested in, then they just kind of like, I don't know, maybe not.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you can't, it's not gonna work. No, this it if it's something that you're trying to force the issue, it's gonna cause more of a fucking rift. So yeah. It is fucking hectic.

SPEAKER_00:

Like it is a really I'm so I was you know what, I was very excited about this episode because I knew I knew I knew literally nothing about it. Yeah, learned so much, but also I'm so tough with us figuring that out that it's like the power dynamic, there is no power dynamic, it is it is a infinite circle, yeah. It it feeds itself, it feeds itself, you're feeding off each other, yeah. And like you're saying, if you see it in a very, very condensed version of these other entities, people, men, female, whatever, are there as sex toys? Sex toys, that's it. And the thing is, look, obviously consent, they're happy to be those sex toys.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but wild, wild. I've since I heard about this, it's been one of those things that I've had a morbid curiosity about. Like, you know, like executions and you know, gladiators and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I can tell you now, you know, will I be going home to Google this different kinds of pornography? Hot husbanding. Hot husbanding?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know. Speaking of that, I still think that we need to do that challenge, hey. The 30-day We can do it 30-day, seven day. Why don't we do it? Seven days. Mm-hmm. You're not a reader, are you? And I'm not really a watcher. You read porn. Okay. I'll watch porn every day. Okay. And every day. I'm trying to see what's the difference in my normal life. We we we see if there's like a difference in like our desire, we see if there's a difference in what we're into, if there's something that we've found that we've liked, or something like that. Because I think that there might be some very interesting results from that.

SPEAKER_00:

I already know, me as a person, I watch a lot of porn, and I know that when I read, I've I get a lot more turned on by reading, which is weird for me because I always thought that I don't have much of imagination. Yeah, but when I read, I'm like in arm up in there. See, I read my porn, I don't really watch it.

SPEAKER_02:

So this is gonna be like a sleep for both of us. Okay, let's do it. Done, we'll do it.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think that is hot wiping. I'm very grateful for you to teach me all of these things or both learning together. We unpack that together. We unpacked that all together, but it's just thanks for bringing this up. This topic is so fucking interesting. Yeah, it's great. And on that note, people, we are over and uh over and out. Adios. Bye.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's a wrap on Hot Wifing. From the thrill of shared pleasure to the deep psychology behind trust and intimacy, this dynamic is about way more than just sex. It's a testament to how relationships can push boundaries, foster communication, and explore new layers of connection. Whether you're intrigued or simply glad to understand this kink better, the key takeaway is this. As long as there's consent, respect, and a whole lot of honest conversation, the possibilities for exploring love and intimacy are endless. Thanks for tuning in to SuperStext. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and join us next time for more adventures in the world of relationships, kinks, and everything in between. Stay curious. Over and out.

Head Shot

Jordan

Host