The ConverSAYtion
The ConverSAYtion is simply a couple of middle aged men sharing company and conversation. Psych and K take their time sorting through so much to say about society, culture, relationships, education, finance, technology, health, and more. Inspired to find engaging ways to entertain and enrich the lives of their listeners is their primary pursuit. Join them as they invest themselves in providing value to their audience. Welcome to The ConverSAYtion.
The ConverSAYtion
Embracing Pet Peeves and the Art of Emotional Growth: A Journey Through Human Connections
What if the key to emotional freedom lies in embracing your pet peeves as "tiny tantrum triggers"? Join us on a nostalgic journey through the evolution of our podcast, where we swap hilarious anecdotes about syncing audio with a clap and debate the linguistic quirks that irritate us most. With a sprinkle of AI magic from ChatGPT, our conversation takes unexpected twists and turns, including a mysterious mention of Tangent AI Gronk, as we ponder the future of tech-driven discourse.
Our exploration doesn't stop there – we venture into the transformative realm of deep brain stimulation, uncovering its potential to revolutionize treatments for neurological disorders. This intriguing discussion segues into the messy world of human emotions, particularly the cathartic rush that comes from venting anger and frustration. We dive into cultural influences, the science of endorphins, and the surprising reasons why some people relish their righteous rants, all while keeping our chat open and engaging.
But it's not all about emotional outbursts; we also tackle the nuances of growth in personal and professional relationships. By challenging first impressions and embracing change, we explore the power of emotional intelligence and adaptability in fostering meaningful connections. From workplace dynamics to personal anecdotes of reflection and reconciliation, we highlight the potential for change and the importance of self-awareness in shaping our interactions. So, buckle up for a rollercoaster of insights, humor, and heartfelt moments as we navigate the complexities of the human experience!
you don't gotta do it if you don't want to. You don't gotta do it if you don't want to. You don't gotta do it if you don't want to. It's just a suggestion. There you go, cheers I can't so.
Speaker 2:Our first episode. We didn't do the clap and claps and oh, the very first episode you synced it all with too so crazy, very old school technique clapping to sync audio.
Speaker 1:Any large, sharp sound that spikes your audio will work. So yes, that's what happened, that that knowledge came from years of producing drunk, bad public television. We become geniuses in ways without knowing it.
Speaker 2:And I learned it from a Google search.
Speaker 1:I lived it. No, google's wrong. Welcome back to the Conversation Podcast. My name is Letter K. It's not my real name, it's what people call me. Psych is here, as always. It's going to be a sad day when somebody else is not here, whether you or me. Take care of yourselves. Take care of yourselves because in episode 4600 it's a race. See who puts off candy long enough. We're continuing to talk about pet peeves today, although, as we learned, psych hates the the phrase pet peeves not a big fan, and I got into arguing with him just a little bit about how there's no fundamental difference between a thing and what you call a thing if the thing is the same as the thing, as you said.
Speaker 2:Perception, perception.
Speaker 1:Perception is reality. Yes, I could talk all day about that. Perception. Perception is reality. Yes, I could talk all day about that. But just because I call an apple an apple instead of a Gala or a Red. Delicious, or a Granny Smith doesn't make it less of an apple, but because we're friends.
Speaker 2:I went out of my way to ask ChatGPT how far out of your way, did you go?
Speaker 1:I literally haven't left my chair.
Speaker 2:He went nowhere.
Speaker 1:Hey, hey. Every keystroke is one step closer to carpal tunnel syndrome. Yes, and I did this for psych. Because we're such good friends, I asked chat gpt for alternative phrases for pet peeve. Here's the list annoying quirks, daily gripes, irritant inventory I like that one that looks pretty good. That's one I like so so what are you stocking in your irritant inventory?
Speaker 2:so glad you asked exactly so.
Speaker 1:If you're a pretentious fuck like psych, irritant inventory is a really good, really good one. Personal aggravations nothing's going to beat irritant inventory. Trigger points that's very contemporary. But trigger points, that's not a pet peeve, because pet peeves are not something.
Speaker 2:But trigger points. I mean is somebody a marksman, is somebody into shooting?
Speaker 1:Oh Jesus, calm, down. Grumble list.
Speaker 2:I like grumble list. I like that one it reminds me of seven dwarves.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's super. Super does. Bane of existence. No, yeah, bye man. Nuance notes. Tick off topics. What are your tip off? Tick off topics. I kind of like that one too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was pretty good Minor frustrations, but I like alliteration yes, and because ChatGPT? Because I talk to it only about the podcast and I mention you every single time it knows that I like to fuck with you and so literally it said out of this list if you really want to rile him up, suggest calling them tiny tantrum triggers, and then it put a smiley face emoji in chat gpt tiny tantrum triggers.
Speaker 2:Oh what?
Speaker 1:yes, I do love that, though, but the fact, the fact that it also you know, me and chat gpt have a relationship now to where we are now collaborating against you, and it knows it and has put a little emoji in so Tangent AI Gronk.
Speaker 2:I just heard of it recently. I might have mentioned something to you. I'm going to try it out, and I do use ChatGPT. We'll compare and contrast. We'll come bring this back around. We'll do, yeah, we'll do, like an AI update.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so have you ever, have you heard of deep brain stimulation?
Speaker 2:Is this chat? Gpt, no, no, no, no, no, no. Gpt, no, no, no, no. This is a real thing. This is messing with me I no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I asked chat gpt to give me some references. But deep brain stimulation is as a as an area of neural, uh neurological study sounds vaguely familiar, but it also sounds like it's completely made up no, no right, because it's super science and so deep brain stimulation is. It's where they, it's where they. They study different sections of the brain and find out what kind of stimuli triggers different things.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, I'm aware of that, so maybe it's just a need yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like pet peeves, I'd call it what you associate more more affectionately.
Speaker 2:But yeah, yes, thank you.
Speaker 1:So deep brain stimulations it's, it's, it's, you know it's an area of research. It's largely done, um for, like, I have a list here. Uh, so key areas of dbs are looking to help people with parkinson's, people with ocd. Um, there are studies that are looking into treatment. Resistant depression. Chronic pain is another one. Because you know if you can shut off certain aspects of the brain. You know because you know who cares if it, who cares to fit, if, if it's affecting you negatively, if it doesn't hurt, and other things. But but talking about pet peeves and how, how people like to get worked up, dude, is your pen fucking broken right now?
Speaker 2:it is underperforming underperforming.
Speaker 1:I can write.
Speaker 2:I can write better with my greasy pinky so I've had this out of the rotation for a while we haven't.
Speaker 1:We haven't filmed in a few weeks, yeah. So, uh, what are we saying here? Do we need to stop everything?
Speaker 2:I either wrote too much or it fired out. Actually, I have a pen right there I don't know Right there it's almost out. I had a training and I took notes and I pretty much exhausted the ink in that pen.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can see it's almost. I mean this is clean.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no wait, wait wait.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's all kinds of ink. It kind of flows inside it. No, I'm out.
Speaker 2:I'm out, it's.
Speaker 1:I'm out. Where are your priorities, man? So DBS I've got more Electrical stimulation during neurosurgical procedures and so a lot of research that goes into this kind of stuff and tied directly to our topic of pet peeves, or I mean, I apologize. I apologize, what I meant to say was keeping irritant inventory. Deep brain stimulation yeah, deep brain stimulation.
Speaker 1:So there have been a few studies where people are hooked up to this DBS stuff and they're stimulating the brain and they know how to stimulate certain aspects of your amygdala and your hippocampus or whatever. Yes, they have that dialed in. Yes, and so they can create emotions in you, so they can stimulate whatever is over here and make you feel happy, make you feel sad, make you feel angry, make you feel horny, all these kind of things. They've got this kind of figured out. This is where all this research is going for difficult to treat depression and things like that. However, people love being mad. They love it, and there have been more than one study where they gave the person the ability to decide what emotion they wanted to feel the most because of the way that they love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this was something we talked about briefly I forget which topic it was, but several episodes ago, and it was a relatively small study, I think. Oh, I was citing Andrew Huberman. It was Huberman, yes, huberman, that's probably what got me started on this. Yes, and in the study he was referencing there was only three subjects. So it was to the extreme small, but consistently with the three subjects or handful of subjects that they had, anger, frustration being upset. Those were the things that those participants wanted to repeat or revisit time and time again. But outside of that, within our own culture, the squeaky wheel is oil, right Grease.
Speaker 1:Mixing metaphors.
Speaker 2:All right, there you go. But if people are reinforced and encouraged and they get attention if they highlight something negative, and so that's where and so that's where.
Speaker 1:So, according to this, people said that feeling anger or frustration gave them a sense of being alive, of engagement and so Well, there's a reason for that, because if you're angry, right, let's just think about that.
Speaker 2:If you're, if you have pure anger coming out, there has been something that has occurred that's wrong and it's in your mind, yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 2:So you are the righteous person in that scenario. You've noticed a wrong, you've noticed an injustice. You have the moral high ground. You have witnessed somebody who is maybe somewhat perceived as less intelligent or less smart or beneath them doing something they should not be doing and should never do again. So why not feel that way? Who wants to feel that they're wrong? Nobody, nobody. So anytime anybody ever expresses anything an opinion or suggestion, an idea or thought they are always offering that from the standpoint that they think they are right.
Speaker 1:So you know what my my secret is I'm always angry, sorry I hear what you're saying, so read between the lines.
Speaker 1:So I think, and I think that I think that it's more, it's deeper than that. You allowed me to vent rather heavily last episode and you mentioned that there's a catharsis attached to that. I think that it's not the anger, it's the ability to express that anger that really triggers the positive response, because you know it makes you feel good to vent your frustrations. People, I mean, do you feel that? So if you thought that you, quietly, you had no one to complain to and it was just you and Jack Daniels and you sat there and stayed mad about something, would you enjoy that experience? I think it's only after you have somebody that you can vent it to, whether they believe what you're saying or not, that you get that rush of endorphins that comes along with the catharsis of expressing your anger.
Speaker 2:I don't usually choose to vent or offer my emotions to people that don't understand or can't understand.
Speaker 1:But that's rare. Most people will complain to anyone who'll listen.
Speaker 2:I have the understanding that if I'm going to talk to somebody about let's just presume I know anything that is to be known about quantum physics, all right, and I have a problem with it. If somebody doesn't understand it, then it doesn't do me any good to talk to them about it, because they don't understand it, they're not going to be able to sympathize or empathize and they can't in any way, shape or form, offer a solution to my problem are you equating what I was hoping would be just societal norms and and and pet peeves and hold on, hold on and take off topics?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes To rocket science. No.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are. Rocket science is not quantum physics. Completely different topics.
Speaker 1:This guy oh my, I don't want it. This guy, oh my god, I don't want him. So back to your point about people not wanting to be wrong.
Speaker 2:That's my best pen Right now.
Speaker 1:And if you had a hardwood floor, we would all be shopping for pens right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, I'm not equating the two. That was just an analogy. No, that was not equating the two.
Speaker 1:That was just an analogy. No, that was extreme, not an analogy.
Speaker 2:If somebody doesn't understand and it's not within their capability of understanding, then that's not somebody I've meant to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, like I said, you are an outlier and it probably has something to do with the fact that you have a wherewithal to want to not give people too much information about yourself if you don't know if you can trust them.
Speaker 2:So you're presuming there's an element of distrust there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, because if I don't trust you, why would I open up to you? But that's you.
Speaker 2:No, it's the understanding, not the trust. Yeah, so I can if I don't trust you. But you know what I'm talking about and we're on the same level and on that topic we have the same amount of information. We have the same amount of intelligence on a particular topic. Even if I don't trust you, I'm not against complaining because I know you at least understand what I'm sharing. If you don't, like, if I'm talking to you about something completely 100% foreign to you, you've never heard about it and you you never, let's just say you never want to hear about it, you're not interested at all Then why, like, I don't want to share with those?
Speaker 1:people. I get your point. If I don't understand what you're talking about, what's the point of complaining to me?
Speaker 2:yes, because, well, also, I could read people to the point where, okay, they don't, they're not okay, they don't want to hear this, they want to be somewhere else, they don't want to talk about this and they have no response prepared and this is not going to be a reciprocal interaction, so I choose not to. If you don't know what I'm talking about, if you have no idea what my complaint is or how to spell it or where it exists I don't know spell most words. Yeah, michelin helped.
Speaker 1:ChatGPT could infer what I was trying to say. Chat is good, yeah, so talking about what you were saying, about how people don't want to be wrong, they hate to be wrong.
Speaker 2:Nobody offers anything unless they think they're right. Yes, of course.
Speaker 1:So are you familiar with the, with the logic paradox, the sunk cost fallacy yes, I haven't studied it extensively, but, yes, I am so familiar.
Speaker 1:Yes, so just just to put, just to put it to words, the sunk cost fallacy is a is a is a logic paradox where an individual believes that the only way to recoup losses from an endeavor is to increase the investment. Throw good money after bad. So one of the most traditional examples is the flight of the Concorde. You're familiar with the Concorde jet experiment. Call it an experiment, even though it wasn't necessarily an experiment. I just talked about this with my guys at work, so I tried to. I've you know, the culture of modern workplaces is such that being a good worker is no longer enough. You have to have the emotional intelligence to engage with your coworkers and your community EQ. Yeah, so I've been trying to get these guys to understand those concepts, because it's hard for a construction group to not be like your traditional whistle at the chick as she walks by construction site people. So we're working on it. We're working on it as a team, but I just talked about sunk cost fallacy with them.
Speaker 1:And so, flight of the Concorde very interesting, very interesting situation where the British and French governments got together and tried to invent a supersonic jet for commercial flights and they initially invested $84 million together. They said this is what it's going to cost. This is like 1969. And so they did. They came up, they figured it out, they could make it happen, but they couldn't figure out how to make it commercially viable because it was so loud and there was all these other issues. But they kept working on it until they officially abandoned the project in like 2013 like officially after spending 3.4 billion dollars.
Speaker 1:We did not. They did not want to be wrong about this concept, so they kept feeding into it, and so we as people are the same way. The sunk cost fallacy can be attributed to EQ, emotional intelligence. We create perceptions rather quickly and early about people and then we build a reality up around that perception and, over time, it becomes a fact to us, it becomes a thing that we know is true. This guy sucks over here, this guy is amazing, this chick is brilliant, whatever it is. We create these things rather early, but then time goes on. We never reevaluate those things because we are afraid of being wrong about our initial assessment, and this ties into your concept of pet peeves You're talking about people that just want confirmation bias.
Speaker 2:They fall into that confirmation bias. I thought this this is what I thought. Let's go search out all the things that fit in with the narrative that I already assessed to be true.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm talking about. I mean it's connected, it's related, but that's what perpetuates.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm talking about the human equation like you and me. So. So boss hires you. You come to work with me. The first two days in the job you do some bonehead shit and I decide you're a bonehead. Turns out, it turns out over the next several years. You were just nervous those couple of days. You're very competent, you know exactly what you're doing. You may actually know things better than me, but I can't learn from you, I can't grow with you. I can't do those things because I've already built up this reality around my first impression of you, which is you're a bonehead. We love being right and we love being mad, so we hold on to negative impressions of others the longest and the hardest, because we like being right about the fact that I don't like you. At what point do we have to? We tell ourselves, hey, I need to reevaluate my impression of you and do we have the strength?
Speaker 2:to do that. We do so. I work with so many people and I manage. You told me I manage people. I manage people, you do. And so many people come up to me and try to tell me how I should feel about the people I'm about to receive, which I. I take it in and then almost immediately dismiss it. That's interesting and the course of action I take. I meet you.
Speaker 2:Everything I think about you is solely based on the interactions I have with you and you alone. It has nothing to do with what I heard about you. It has nothing to do with what this manager said you said when you interviewed. It has nothing to do with your reference that claimed this. It has 100% to do with my interactions with you, and that's it. What do you say? What do you do? And if you say or do something, I note it. And if you don't say or do something, I note that. And then if your behavior changes over time, I note that. That's it.
Speaker 2:I am happy to be wrong If I thought you were the most terrible employee, the most incompetent person at our site. I'm happy to be wrong. I want to be wrong later. I want to know that this person can evolve and change over time. So for me, if I'm wrong like if I thought I was right and but it wasn't I wish I was wrong. And then if I was later proven wrong because this person, and then if I was later proven wrong because this person had a bad day or they underperformed here but that wasn't them, if they were more competent and when they got to know people and they warmed up and they got past the honeymoon phase, what have you?
Speaker 2:Great, I'll take it. I'm pretty much an open book to people which I mean, I kind of built my life on it. If you change, I'll change, and if you change, I'll change my opinion. If you change, I'll change my perspective. If you do something different than forgiveness is, is there and it's, it's, it's for you. But and and I would expect the same thing from you know, if I do the same, if I change, if I do better, if, if I do something out of the ordinary, if I'm more consistent or more more disciplined over time, I would expect the same. I know many people do not offer that, because the first impressions stick forever.
Speaker 1:And they don't, because we don't want to be wrong and our opinions are something that we can control. We have 100% control of our own opinions. But if we're reevaluating our opinions and finding that we were wrong, it's mental and emotional chaos. So it takes strength of character, of will, it takes emotional power to have the ability to reevaluate your opinions, and most people are not willing to do that because it's terrifying to them to think how was I wrong in this when my opinion is so. Every person is a nation state, a dictatorship the size of a human being, and if that government the size of a human being, and if that government, that internal self-government, is suddenly fallible, your whole world comes crumbling down. So, yes, very hard for people to do what you were talking about, you're doing and constantly re-evaluate and assess their relationships.
Speaker 2:It's like driving when you're driving and we talked about driving last episode whether, whatever you're doing, if you're behind the wheel and you're driving and we talked about driving last episode whether, whatever you're doing, if you're behind the wheel and you're navigating not in a way, mo, because can navigate and they're not aggressive enough, you need Google. You can do better. And yeah, just just take every moment and take every hour and take every day and think about it and reevaluate and then come to a conclusion how can I do better? Do I need to do better? Was I perfect? Did this happen? Did I get the results I was looking for? Did I get the outcome I was looking for? Did I get the outcome I was looking for?
Speaker 2:And then, just just, it doesn't matter, like I think here's the biggest thing people view their ideas as their identity and they're separate. They're not the same. Your ideas now, right now, your ideas are not you. You just think them, you perceive them, you view them, you thought them, you thought they were right, you thought they were wrong and as we evolve and as time progresses, you can change your mind, change your mind, you can change your mind and if you decide an idea you had 10, 10, 20 years ago is not a good idea. Now that's fine. You're still a human, you're still a person there's, you still have value and worth. There's nothing wrong with you. You just change your mind and you know more. And so you, if you can, if you know better, you just do better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the only people in this world who are not allowed to change their mind are politicians and that's not true. We know that yeah, I do love that waymo's lack of aggressiveness, lack of aggressiveness.
Speaker 1:I'm so upset is one of your tiny tantrum triggers. That's really good, I love it. But so, yes, here's the thing If, if, tantrum triggers, tiny tantrum triggers, and so Three Ts. So here's the best part about giving people the opportunity to change your perception right? Because you're not just letting them grow, you're letting yourself grow as well, because by giving people the opportunity to change your perception of them, you are growing yourself.
Speaker 1:And I think that we don't realize that we can grow in that capacity, because if you believe this and this and this and this about this person and this person and this person and this is in the world and that in the world and that's it forever, you are not growing as an individual. The only way that you can grow as a person is by re-evaluating your surroundings and include the people that you've already decided you know about. And think about it like this Maybe the guy that you met, and in the first two days he was a bonehead, maybe he's learning and growing and now he's a better person and a better employee and a better co-worker, but you having the unwillingness to re-evaluate your perception of that person means that they're growing and you're not. Hey, hey, break that down. I gotta pee.
Speaker 2:So bad, all right no, go ahead, just go oh, break that down, oh talk about it.
Speaker 2:He's left me. He's left me. I think he oh, he did this on purpose, k did this on purpose. So it's just us right now. And I think he is talking directly to me right now, or at least that's what I'm perceiving because Kay.
Speaker 2:Kay and I both have a mutual friend actually the better description is a mutual old friend where somebody that we had some discord with, somebody that we didn't agree with, somebody that bothered us to the point where we didn't find it was healthy to continue.
Speaker 2:So, with that said, with everything that Cage has just said, this person has come to mind and I think when I tell him about this later, or when he sees this later, he's going to know precisely what I am talking about. And it's been four years, four years going on, five years since I have spoken to this individual. But within that time, this individual has been reaching out and I won't get into any details, but if you experienced what I had the time, it was pretty much untenable. So, knowing that, most of you would probably have written this person off to. But Kay is absolutely right, and during that separation, it is indeed possible that this person has grown and has come to be the person, or a person that I would choose to associate with, a continual relationship with or a friendship with, and that's where we're at so I washed my hands so that when I that's good, I bring your tacos there, you won't lose your shit we will.
Speaker 2:We might have to read oh, here we go yes so, before you left, I thought you were talking so much better directly to me. Yeah, I thought I thought you were talking, speaking because my perception, I was perceiving something and I don't know if it was deliberate or not.
Speaker 2:We'll talk about it at tacos, but no, yeah, no, it was meaningful for me, and so I think you you mentioned something earlier when you talked about growing, developing and building, and I think those are the people you should include in your life and you should have in a prominent position. You should spend the most time with those people, that challenge, that help you build, develop and grow but you don't always get to choose who you spend your time with.
Speaker 1:This is very relevant. Now. You're wrong. Like with, like co-workers. You're wrong. You know you spend a third of your life with people you didn't necessarily you're absolutely wrong.
Speaker 2:What?
Speaker 1:so what? Tell me, I'm wrong. Yes, you're fucking wrong. Yes, so so I am the, I am the construction manager of a job and I decide that you and you and you are going to go do this task together. Yes, how did you have any say in that decision?
Speaker 2:so am I the person you're sending?
Speaker 1:yes, I work for you with, yes, with two, two schlubs that you hate so you, the manager, don't like them. No, you don't like them. I don't give a fuck because I just want to work, done, oh that's easy.
Speaker 2:I don't have to be there. I can be anywhere else doing whatever else. It's a choice. It's a personal decision to wake up every day and to come back.
Speaker 1:So few people agree with you the fact that you need to work to live negates the….
Speaker 2:But you don't have to work there.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, yes, yes, work there okay. So, yes, yes, you're getting paid an amazing salary and you're doing, you're doing your job, but you don't like some of your co-workers. Just go somewhere else, find something better. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't think anything. No, that is not how life works. I live this. I've got, I've got, guys who don't get along, and but they, they all. No one's going anywhere. So the trick is you have to figure out how to get a look, how to work with the people you don't necessarily like or not. No well, or you can go somewhere else yes, does it like where you work.
Speaker 2:Get yes, like where you work, get along, don't like where you work, survive it.
Speaker 1:Move. Yes, most people don't have the opportunity to just move. They don't have the level of education that you have. They don't have, yeah, no.
Speaker 2:You're not wrong there. You're not 100% right. Education-wise, you're not wrong. You're not 100% right Education-wise, you're not wrong.
Speaker 1:But everything else totally off base. Yes, Please, Absolutely no. You have such a unique. You know the thing I like most about you.
Speaker 2:this episode is your shirt. It's amazing and it should be shown off. This artwork is brilliant.
Speaker 1:Yes, the pops it's the uh, the band, the. Oh okay, the the go, get this now die.
Speaker 2:So oh, you're showing up, try I tried to sit down sit down.
Speaker 1:You already said but say the name of the band.
Speaker 2:So then I did die, so fluid die so fluid.
Speaker 1:They were the opening act when me and basey j went and saw the marsh violets and they were kind of awesome and I bought a shirt okay and you're wrong, and because I was having this discussion just this week with a co-worker, oh okay another highly educated person, I I imagine or no. I refrain from answering.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me your story from Mount Olympus please. I think I have mentioned a story from this individual previous episodes or a few episodes prior. However, be that as it may, they have come up again. We were on the bus together and they proceeded to share their life, their whole life story, start to present day. And it was just, if you find me, because, oh so, my coworkers have found out that I'm doing this, but they have. I do not. I do not feel comfortable at this point exposing them to my life here.
Speaker 1:That's why we spelled it wrong.
Speaker 2:Good, good, that's why we spelled it wrong Good. So I want everyone to learn of us organically. If the algorithm or you decide that we should connect, fine, that's fine. And as Plato would say, if you don't discover us, us, you will never hear me say this. So that happened, okay and anyway. So my now my co-workers are it sounds like they're. They're poking at me.
Speaker 1:They're actively because they want to know what you're fucking saying about them I'm not saying anything.
Speaker 2:They don't know that. Terrible, but nobody knows that about anybody that walks into the break room for lunch, of course. Yes, just figure it out so she gets done sharing her life story and I tell her I'm depressed right now. This is such a sad story and the way they told the story was this is their life, this is going to be their life. There's no alternative, there's no way out and unless things change, their life won't change.
Speaker 1:The thing is so many people feel the same.
Speaker 2:They don't see their own growth potential yes, yes, and I understand that and then I try to offer. There are options that you have. You have power and control and, should you choose to exercise it, you could find something else. It doesn't have to be right, especially where we live. Right, we have we struck the.
Speaker 2:Actually, who is that listening to uh a podcast recently? Oh, it was the, the guy that uh runs uh black rifle coffee and he's like we. He struck the birth birthplace lottery. He was born in the united states. Right, we could have been born anywhere else. He's like why would I want to squander or waste this opportunity? I could do anything I want and I could make as much as I want, or or not, and it's all of this. Everything around is available. He views the united states as a kitchen. Just go in there and make whatever you want. What do you want? Go pick up some ingredients, go make whatever you want. I know not everyone views that, nobody does. I know it's like it's a pie and everyone gets. Like almost 400 million people get a slice, and if you have a bigger slice and I have a smaller slice.
Speaker 1:No, it's more like. It's more like. It's more like like life is a dark room and everyone's blind and people are feeling their way around, but you're the little one with the flashlight. That's the reality of the world. Wow, I've never heard that before. I just made that up. I'll think about it. Most people don't see a way out. I don't know. I'll think about it. Most people don't see a way out and so they just resign themselves to where they're at and they're stuck with the people that they are handed as co-workers, as compatriots, as contemporaries.
Speaker 1:The goal is to try and get people to understand that we all have things that we don't necessarily like about each other or about society. We have differences of opinions, whether it's politics or baseball teams, or what weather we like or where we like to vacation. We have these things, that where we disagree and we still have to get along. We still have to work together. We're forced into this by the manager who sent you, you, you and you to go do this. So so the trick, the trick is to to be to be able to be able to, to have the, the, the strength, the power to tell yourself that I can continue to learn about this person, this other person, instead of saying my first impression is gospel.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think you said it best in the word learn.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:If somebody is not committed to learning, if they're not committed to lifelong learning, then then yes, that will fall by the wayside.
Speaker 1:Yes, so if you, if you decide that you already know everything there is to know about a person you just met, I've learned it.
Speaker 2:It's past tense, ed past tense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, done it which is why I like, I like, I like the whole, the whole notion of creating the first impression and then building a reality around that impression, because nobody's first impression is inherently accurate. It is a, it is a quick blush understanding. We have decided something and if you don't give yourself the opportunity to allow that impression to evolve, if you put walls of reality around that impression, you are not willing to learn more about that person and it's good to note that those first impressions do fade with time.
Speaker 2:They're not. No, they need to. They don't always well, they will fade with. People's memories are not what they used to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I work with guys and I've recently been trying to get engaged in this EQ stuff because the lab culture has shifted the performance appraisal, the whole culture of performance appraisals, and now it's equal parts. Doing your job, getting along with others, like emotional intelligence, is a big part of it now, and so these guys are railing against it and I try to pull them aside and I try to give them the opportunity to speak their minds and in the vast majority of situations, these guys bring up things. In the vast majority of situations, these guys bring up things. They say a person is like this because of a single and I can trace it down to a single scenario that happened when they first met. Okay, but how long have they known them? We're talking about at this point? We're talking about a year, two years.
Speaker 2:Okay, too short, too short, okay. So, if okay, think about the first time you met your bass player, do you? Do you remember everything that happened the first day you met him?
Speaker 1:you're asking the wrong person because yes, of course I do okay, all right.
Speaker 2:So do you think the average person does with a person that they know? Of course not they.
Speaker 1:They develop an impression of that person and then box that reality around them, and it's little things, yeah. So, yes, I totally agree with that. However, I think that I think that one, two years, six months, three months, ten weeks I think that's long enough for most people to develop how they will feel about a person forever. And if you're talking about first impressions fading over time, it's just complacency, because you're getting used to what you don't like about the person, person where you could actually have a meaningful and rich relationship with that person if you allowed your relationship to be re-evaluated and grow constantly over time. It's why I have an open door policy. I'm in charge and most managers have an open door policy because it's an easy win for supervision.
Speaker 1:I do it for a very specific reason. Obviously, they can come to me and I have answers, I have counsel. I give them the opportunity to use my expertise. However, it also gives me the opportunity to constantly grow my evaluation of those individuals and that's why I do it. It's not necessarily for them, it's to give me the opportunity to grow Because, honestly, they know their job better than I do. Coming to me is just going to give them absolution for their decisions. Hey, hey, I think I have a problem. I think I should do this. You think I should do that. Do you think that's the best idea? Yes, I do. Then do that. That's the most common interaction, however. It gives me the opportunity to reevaluate that person. Growth and learning happens here first. Don't wait for that person to get better. Wait for you to see them getting better so your words for?
Speaker 2:uh. The thing I don't want to say are what's the one I like the most?
Speaker 1:what the trigger tantrum? Oh, you would like the the trigger tantrum, or the other one, the tiny tantrum triggers. No, you like irritant inventory.
Speaker 2:Yes, so that I guess for me, being somebody that went through school, chose to work at a school and enjoys lifelong learning learning when people are immovable in their ideas and thoughts, that they are resistant to this idea, that they can't get any better or they can't learn anything else that's going to improve them or the world around them, if they are obstinate and do not want to learn anything else for the rest of their time on planet earth. That's probably the thing that irks me the most and that's that's.
Speaker 1:We just had this conversation. I don't know if we talked about this, but this is a common thing people don't don't allow themselves to to section off a piece of that pie in their mind, to to allow themselves this, the opportunity they're talking about, to learn and grow, because they think, oh, I can't, I can't do anything else because my whole world is this pie and stress and the kids and the job and everything, and I don't have time to, to spend the mental energy to grow and to expand the bandwidth. The bandwidth, yes, I love it. I love it. So, yeah, I think that people need to. It's like anything. It's like exercise, it's like eating right, it's like changing your habits. You have to start small and then you find you have the bandwidth. You can expand upon things one day at a time and suddenly you're giving everybody, including yourself, the opportunity to do better, be better and and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:So, since we're talking about pet peeves, and by which I mean the grumble list, here are the in in classic letterman fashion, the top 10 us pet peeves by study and surveys. There we go. Oh, we'll start from the bottom. Number 10, shipping costs for online shopping and fuck you. I'm right there, because if shipping isn't free, is this 2024 or what?
Speaker 2:I spent $400 shipping a couple of nightstands and a bed.
Speaker 1:That is not a common. You're way over here. I'm talking about getting a fucking pack of pencils. Calm down. Oh sorry, Number nine guests critiquing your home. That's one of your big fears, Is it? Oh yeah, you think so. I think it is.
Speaker 2:I think it is, oh yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, no. Not the home, not the house.
Speaker 1:Not the bones, just the kitchen counter.
Speaker 2:Just the way the house and the home is kept. Right yeah, If it's unsanitary or unhygienic.
Speaker 1:Number eight being loud at night. That's an old person, get off my lawn thing, but I so. I have a neighbor who decides at random hours, including all hours of the night, he's going to go outside high because he's he's doing drugs and it's california. Yeah, this is, it's going and play. He's got a really good sound system in his truck and you know it because you can hear it. Of course he does, everyone fucking knows it, and he loves classic funk, which I do too, but not at 11 pm. Next door Cross street, corner, corner. Yeah, yeah, the people next to me, I still know their names, they're really nice. Number seven loud chewing or slurping. That actually does bother me. I hate the sound of my own chewing. It bothers me. Number six no comment. Number six slow drivers in the left lane. Can I get a witness?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, don't Get out of my way, especially you, priuses.
Speaker 1:You make no noise. Of course you don't go fast.
Speaker 2:It's a Prius obstacle course to get to the Bay Area.
Speaker 1:Get out of the way. Number five showing up unannounced, unscheduled visits. Pop in guys like Kramer. No one comes to my house if you're making the kind. If you have such a huge high school preppy collection of friends where people are just showing up, you did that to yourself. Number four snooping house guests snooping house you know this is a classic comedy show trope where, where people are going through your medicine cabinet to see what kind of drugs you're taking, going through your rifle, through your drawers, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:I think that's more of a, that's more sitcom if I gave them access to a bedroom and an assigned bathroom yeah, that's yeah I would have whatever I want in there in there and whatever I don't want in there before you arrive would be pulled out, no problem.
Speaker 1:I'm going to speak quietly now to make this episode easier for me to edit. Number three guests overstaying their welcome. That's a whole episode. I can't Speak for me. Come on I can't.
Speaker 2:There's plenty of time, speak for me, come on, I can't. There's plenty of time. Speak for me, come on. Okay, say what you're gonna say so it's for the audience, because you don't listen. If you think you can help somebody by inviting them into your home and then letting them spread their wings so they can fly off and be great and be successful, and do that, but please know that you have the ability to do that and that they have the ability to fly at some point in the time timeframe that you expect them to get out of your house.
Speaker 1:Number two excessive bragging.
Speaker 2:Uh, I, I kind of like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah From other people. Yeah, you love people Fucking.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:I love it, which is why we're such good friends, because I'm letter K, obviously. It tells me a lot about that person and I'm happy to learn that it tells you a lot about that person, because they're telling you a lot about themselves.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am learning so much, and if you're talking, you can't learn.
Speaker 1:If you're talking and're talking, you can't learn If you're talking and not listening you can't learn.
Speaker 2:Listeners learn, and I just I care to listen more.
Speaker 1:How often do you ask the question? That's great and all but what do you not like about yourself?
Speaker 2:So similar to that on the bus with my staff member that told their sad story from birth to present day.
Speaker 1:I asked them.
Speaker 2:what can you do better yeah? Nobody wants to hear that and it was not answered. Yeah, fuck you pally.
Speaker 1:Yes, and the number one thing on the list of surveyed pet peeves in the united states which is hilarious to me excessive complaining in a list of pet peeves. The number one thing that people people don't like about pet peeves is hearing other people's pet. Oh my gosh, we live in a fucked up world. That's crazy. Oh, I want to leave this whole world behind. That's crazy. Oh, oh, I want to leave this whole world behind.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. Oh, it's so good, so does that? I don't have any. Does it change anything if what they are complaining about is something they agree with?
Speaker 1:I would say so. I didn't ask Teddy that, but it's just hilarious how small our complaints are, our tiny tantrum triggers are.
Speaker 2:That's a good one.
Speaker 1:The three Ts yeah, so next time on the Conversation Podcast, we are going to ask ChatGPT to select our topic based on whatever's contemporarily popular when we film okay, we should also ask no not doing our argument decision chat gpt to maybe include our previous topics to it doesn't have the. It doesn't have the intelligence to do that, so it doesn't keep track of data that far back really yeah, it's not really.
Speaker 2:I it would yeah, it would base it on the last but okay I think it's fun and that might give us an opportunity to revisit it.
Speaker 1:Just am I I don't think that that's going to be a popular topic. It's going to.
Speaker 2:It's going to be something like yeah, it's going to be fun for us. I have some AI stuff I've been using.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not going to be about fucking AI Calm down. It's going to be about the freaking sexual marketplace value or some stupid shit like that. I can't do this. I'm going to go, you close this out, all right I can do that and so please like subscribe dude, he is running. Tell your friends, I don't know, I don't know. You know, complain about how there aren't enough random podcasts where people are speaking about things that really matter, and tune in next time, thank you.
