The ConverSAYtion

Friendship Beyond Politics and When Acceptance Becomes Rejection

Psych & K Season 1 Episode 36

The divides in our society seem wider than ever, but are we really so different? This episode dives deep into the fascinating psychology of political polarization and the surprising ways we're actually quite similar—despite our loud proclamations otherwise.

When Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) donates her Tesla to protest Elon Musk's political alignment, it launches us into examining how our consumer choices reflect our values. But beyond surface-level politics lies a more nuanced truth: most of us simply want what's best for ourselves and hope those interests align with national wellbeing. The problem? We've become experts at exaggerating our differences while ignoring our fundamental similarities.

Our conversation naturally flows through practical applications of these principles, from bias in hiring processes to unexpected friendships across political divides. We even share lighter moments about car detailing as both hobby and potential business, exploiting Denny's birthday promotions, and finding common ground through shared culinary experiences (even if one of us only appreciates Spam in musubi form).

If you're tired of surface-level political arguments and hungry for more meaningful conversation about what truly connects us, this episode offers refreshing perspective that might just change how you view those "others" on the opposite side. Listen and discover that perhaps we're not so different after all.

Speaker 1:

You don't gotta do it if you don't want to. You don't gotta do it if you don't want to. You don't gotta do it if you don't want to. It's just a suggestion. While we're on the subject of cars and this will be a good jump into something new here have you. I'm going to show you a brief video here.

Speaker 2:

I would love to see it.

Speaker 1:

Let's see here, All right. So here we have Cassandra Peterson, who is better known as Elvira Mistress of the Dark. She is doing this right here. Better known as Elvira Mistress of the Dark. Okay, she is doing this right here.

Speaker 2:

I'm donating it to NPR. I'm on my way to hell. I'm on my way to hell. I'm on my way to hell. Does she have a chainsaw in her hand? She does. She's Elvira. Oh, I thought you were going to cut the car out, or something.

Speaker 1:

So did I at first, when I first saw that that was somewhat anticlimactic.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I can tell you.

Speaker 1:

But the point I want to, the one I want to ask you is so I'm seeing a number of these videos of now that, now that Elon is in Trump's camp, I see a lot of these videos of people you know giving up their Teslas, saying they can't support Elon Musk anymore, Giving up their Teslas saying they can't support Elon Musk anymore. Oh, okay, well yeah, that's how I feel about you.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I haven't seen that before. I haven't heard that was happening. I don't think it's as big of a thing.

Speaker 1:

I don't think it's going to trend. Here's the thing. It's not a big thing, because who, except for somebody who's as wealthy as Elvira, can give away their $80,000?

Speaker 2:

automobile. So you enjoyed the vehicle you had. You found that it was more beneficial to drive that vehicle than others. So now you're going to put yourself in a worse position because of a position that you hold or a disagreement that you have with the philosophy of the current administration you hold, or a disagreement that you have with the philosophy of the current administration. I wouldn't necessarily put Elon in Trump's camp, so to speak. I think Elon's aligning himself with the ideas that are currently held by that administration and if those ideas were held and used in those philosophies rang true with another administration or a different leadership, I think he wouldn't be against attaching himself or trying to participate in those those ideas. And I say that I say ideas because people change their ideas all the time. I don't think the same thing I did 15 years ago. I don't think the same thing I did 25 years ago I'm getting the politics.

Speaker 2:

There's plenty of people that change their mind and then they get rung up on it, right? Oh, wait a second. You said 30 years ago when we had far less information in science and data. That, oh, oh. So are you telling me I we have more information now? Yeah, are you telling me that it's a better decision now to think this idea currently? Yeah, oh well, then what's wrong with me changing my mind? So what?

Speaker 1:

gets me is is that exact statement is the actual problem, because we hold on to not allowing you to change your mind so that we can use the fact that you change your mind against you. It's a paradox and I find this it's not helpful. No, it's not, and I find it. I find it goes back to your, your concrete pull. It's a these knee-jerk reactions, so I'm afraid to approach people who who like this, and it's not just the liberals.

Speaker 1:

My Facebook page changes based on who's president, nut job memes, and now that trump's in charge, I'm getting all of the the, the crazy liberal conspiracy theory, um, you know, racist memes, and it just goes back and forth.

Speaker 1:

I like to get all of it and I want to see everything, but the thing is, you know, I have friends on both sides and I'm just stuck in the middle. But when people are content with what they have, they don't bitch and complain. So all of the anti-liberal memes go away when Trump's president and all of the anti-Trump memes go away when Biden was president and Biden was president. But the thing is, the reason I bring this up is, to me, it's we don't realize that we are all American citizens and that we are so much alike that it's hilarious Because that's the example I want to give that when we're not happy, we complain, and I don't like the way that this administration is going or this thing over here, so I'm going to complain about it as hard as I can. I'm going to get as little information as possible, turn it into a meme so that I can express my anger. Most people don't ever present their anger to anybody, but the people who believe like they do.

Speaker 2:

So it's like they're an echo chamber.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's a form of absolution at the time, and I think that's why it expands so much. So I don't care about your political views. So if we get along on any other layer, we can be friends. And so I have some real ultra massive, mega, super left-wing friends like hardcore um, and I've also got some total, mega legitimate, mega hat wearing. You know, right wing, just, you know. You know the whole, the whole, the whole Jan 6 conspiracy people crowd. But they're all people I know, sure, and the only thing, as long as I just stay out of it, it doesn't affect my relationship with them.

Speaker 2:

Do you have good connections? Are they polite and well-mannered? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Do they enjoy spending time with you? Do they challenge you? Can you challenge?

Speaker 1:

them. Is it a give and take? Is it reciprocal? And I can challenge and all those things are true, except for challenging people with politics, because sure well, we we all have limits, right yeah?

Speaker 1:

um, but the thing that strikes me is that we don't see how similar we are. We try so hard to exasperate the differences, like nowadays, if you're a liberal from a conservative standpoint, you have your head in the ground and you have no idea what's going on. Society is crumbling around you. If you are an ultra conservative and from a liberal standpoint, you are, you're a racist, you're you're only allowed to be white and over 40. And you know, and so these, but but the thing is all of the stuff that matters we talked about this recently Also that matters. We all want what's all want what's best for the country. We just have a semantics issue about how to achieve it. But we don't see that anymore. We do not see how similar we are and I think we've actively stopped trying to find the similarities because we want to hate so bad, because being angry is our favorite, favorite, default setting I don't think everybody wants what's best for the country.

Speaker 2:

I don't think. I don't think that's. I don't think that's. All people, I don't think all people fall into that boat. I think most people are in the camp where they want what's best for them and they're hoping that what is best for them is also going to serve the country well, so that if their needs are met, then the country's needs will be met and they go together. And that's why I want what I want so much. That's why I'm being so loud about this particular interest. About this particular interest For the most part, I would say.

Speaker 2:

I mean, we've lived through so many presidents, right, and over the course of that time, my life, my personal life, hasn't really truly been affected as much as one might think. Or if you listen to everybody who's getting on their soapbox online telling you how terrible the world is from one administration to the next, doesn't matter who's in office and what party they're in, but there's people out there complaining and they're they're saying that the sky is falling and I get through four or eight years and I'm like I'm okay. What has affected me more is big yellow poles in front of my gate right. Local, local decisions. Local stuff has anybody been to their local town halls? Or the people that are complaining online? Have they gone to the school board meetings? Have they signed up for a special task force in their city or their region? Have they written letters to their congressmen or women? What have you done beyond the social media stuff?

Speaker 1:

If that layer is the only layer of complaint or the only layer of solution that you found, if you think that's helping I don't think it is yeah, so that brings up an interesting point, and there are things on a macro scale that matter and I know they matter to some people more than others but there are things that groups need the federal government to decide on. But I completely agree with you that, by and large, I've been around for almost 47 years and the winds have changed through all the presidencies have not really affected me much and your life has just been yeah, but that's me, that's me pushing for better for myself, and so maybe I do agree that it isn't about what's best for the country, it's about what's best for me, and I and and I personally believe that what's best for me should also be what's best for everybody else. Do you think that's more accurate?

Speaker 2:

Perhaps, yeah, that might be a closer representation of what we're trying to get, but if you are, I think, the only place people are allowed to think outside of themselves, right, people are allowed to think outside of themselves, right? I think generosity, like if you're compassionate, if you're sympathetic and if you're empathetic for other groups that aren't connected to you and you want to see them do well, you really can only do that if you have your bucket full. Is your cup full? Do you have everything you need? Do you have all of your needs met? Are you living in abundance? Do you have a surplus In order for you to even have the possibility of thinking outside of yourself?

Speaker 2:

Because if you have too many problems in your life that are going unsolved and they're month to month, if they're paycheck to paycheck, whatever they are, if they exist and they continue to exist and you're striving to solve them, how are you going to see this group of people over here that have been marginalized, or how can you go? Okay, I'm going to make a generous donation to this group over here because I want to support them and I want to see them do as well as I am currently. You have to be able to, you know, raise yourself up to the point where you can think outside of your own life and want to find ways, if any way, to help people come up to where you are.

Speaker 1:

so then how do, how do all these groups gather enough people to be so loud? I would argue that that the groups that are yelling the loudest they're very, they're very, they're the, they're the the smallest minorities, uh, of groups, and they are screaming the loudest. But if they are, like you said, if their cups aren't full, um, and how are they finding the time to to get together and cry out that they're being marginalized? I think they're well funded.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think so too I mean, there have been recent people that have risen to into our legislation without calling out names, that have had what you would consider blue collar jobs, that have decided to cry out, and then they they received additional support until they rose to power, and then now they're in a place where they have all of their needs met and they can go and fight for the needs of others. If you don't have enough money to put food on your table, you're not going out and trying to feed your neighbors to put it simply Unless you are.

Speaker 2:

Well, those people are a different breed. Those would be the outliers, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I do see myself as a compassionate, caring person. Compassionate, caring person, I do, I do. I do speak in the we vernacular a lot, but I do, I, I, I would be, I would be lying if I didn't, if I didn't, if I did not say that I do want what's best for everyone else.

Speaker 2:

But it's also the best for me, sure, well, you, you're a prime example, because you just went through this. You brought somebody out of their turmoil and provided them options Not all of them, they chose to select. Well, I mean you'll.

Speaker 1:

You'll get to see what happened. I. I see where you're going, though, but yeah, I did. I took somebody into my home who needed a place, who needed to restart their life, who needed to get back on their feet, and I was able to do that, because my cup is full, correct, correct if you were struggling to keep the lights on, if you didn't have wi-fi at your house, if you had to work 18 hours a day to make ends meet, you might be less likely to do that and in the same vein I took them in and we're good, close friends, but we're just friends and the whole swath of her family she has a huge family living in this region.

Speaker 1:

None of them could step forward to do that because they didn't have the ability to do so.

Speaker 2:

And they probably would have if they did. I think it takes an exceptionally wise individual to have their cup full, know they could step in there and help and solve problems Well, maybe in the short term, but deliberately decide against it because they know their help would not, or their help would not, actually aid them in the long term. And we have we have examples of many examples in our culture, with celebrities and you, you've got the black sheep of the family and instead of throwing good money after bad, right you're, you're trying to invest in their life, you're trying to turn them around. They're the prodigal son, so to speak, and they are rebelling or revolting and just not listening. And okay, you feed them for a day, but they never learned how to fish.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I do find it funny not to wax too politically but to point out that people complain about things when it suits them. Right now we talk about the right wing owns the government and a lot of complaints from liberals about that, but Cassandra Peterson doesn't. She said in that video that she's donating her Elon Sucks car to NPR. But if you're to believe what National Public Radio stands for, she's donating that car to a politically non-bioless organization. But she knows it's not correct. So we all do things to support our ideology. I think is the base of that argument and we don't realize that we're just doing what we're complaining about them doing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, I mean, I was just talking about this with a coworker as far as tolerance versus intolerance, because I had this. You know what? I was talking with our friend Zach years ago and he presented this idea to me that I hadn't considered at the time. It must've been a decade ago, maybe 15 years ago, and he said, hey, what we have is a conundrum, because one group is saying the other group should be more accepting and be more inclusive and be more supportive and be more of an ally, for whatever reason, for whatever topic. Put your standard, your moral, your values in whatever fill in the blank, in whatever you know, make fill in, fill in the blank, and they are more or less intolerant to the fact that the other group is intolerant to whatever it is they're claiming to be necessary or needed or accepted. So you know, I, I don't like this barrier that's in front of my house.

Speaker 2:

Okay, wells, psych, you should. You should be more, you should be more introspective. It's not so bad, you should. You know why are you discriminating against yellow posts? They should be, they should be everywhere, we should include them in daily living, all of our lives, and more or less what you're expressing is you disagree and you're intolerant with the fact that I disagree and I'm intolerant with that. So where one group disagrees with the other group, the other group meets their disagreement with intolerance and disagreement. So you're stuck. You're stuck at that point. It's a circle, right. Include them, include them, include them. No, I don't want to. And if you don't want to, then you're not included. How do you reconcile that?

Speaker 2:

Can you parse that down into a simpler, a simpler question, because I was half listening if, if you're telling me I should include them and I go, no, I don't want to, but then you don't include me because I don't include them, now you're you're discriminating against a group. Yeah, so we're doing the same thing.

Speaker 1:

It's a, it's the same no, it's a and it's a. It is the paradox of inclusivity, because we we say everyone needs to be involved, but we're still picking and choosing who we want, because if, if you're not inclusive, I'm not, I'm not including you in my inclusivity. It's it correct? It's. It's a societal paradox. I love it.

Speaker 2:

All these paradoxes yes, yes, and we know this is happening. We know this is true because after the election, whatever side you're on, people are unfriending and blocking and losing their number and you're dead to me and I don't want to talk to you and it's kind of sad that that is happening over something as relatively in the grander scope of things, relatively trivial, because their lives are going to be affected probably this much did you see?

Speaker 1:

there's a a court going, a case going to the supreme court, where a, a, a white woman, is a white heterosexual woman, is suing for discrimination, saying that she didn't get a promotion because she's white, conservative and heterosexual. The argument is that the two people that actually ended up with the positions that she was after were both gay and that they did not have the skills necessary nor did they apply for the positions, but they were awarded the positions anyway. So this has gone through the courts, it's going all the way to the Supreme Court and people are saying that it's probably going to rule in her favor. I guess she's able to do something that has heretofore been impossible to do, but prove marginalization of a majority.

Speaker 2:

Okay, let's go on this thought experiment.

Speaker 1:

I've been thinking about this. I'm into cooking, culinary that's why I wore my spam shirt? Because I know you love food in all forms.

Speaker 2:

I got that for you so that you could continue your appreciation of spam for you, not for me, not for me. Separate, separate Although I do like spam and musubi, let's talk about your thought experiment, and then we'll discuss how all right.

Speaker 2:

So a lot of cooking shows have blind taste tests. Consider that being applied to the interview process. You interviews, you get an application. There's no race or gender on there, it's just their education and experience. And then you are allowed to go through an interview process. But you, you, you don't see them, you just hear a voice and the voice has been processed so you don't know if it's male or female. And you're talking about like electronic, electronically correct. You know when they want to, somebody doesn't want to, they want to remain anonymous. They're the whistleblower.

Speaker 1:

The black shadow.

Speaker 2:

Yes, just like that. That's how you conduct your interviews. What?

Speaker 1:

are the ways that I differ from the other candidates, like that kind of thing. Yes, yes, so imagine that.

Speaker 2:

You interview all of your applicants and then you pick somebody. I wonder if that would change anything.

Speaker 1:

do we need to go further? And well, because that wouldn't work either. So problem is, you're going to be able to inject bias into any part of that process even though, even though that you can't see them, you don't know their, their their sex, race, gender, religion, proclivities, any of that stuff. You don't know any of those things. I can still infer several aspects of you and I can create bias based on just the terminology you use, the language, the way that you structure sentences together, perhaps Okay, let's take it a step further.

Speaker 2:

What if it was double blind, double, double, both eyes? No, I don't like it. Okay, so you're doing the interviewing and I read the transcript. I'm not actually hearing them. I don't see them, I'm just reading.

Speaker 1:

So same deal. If you're reading the transcript verbatim, you're still getting how I speak in that transcript, all right.

Speaker 2:

So in our we've been using AI on the podcast. Right yeah, to distill down descriptions. Yeah Okay, double blind. Ai processes Triple blind. Ai processes, the description, and you read that like, like like it, uh, like it gives a, um, it gives, it gives a, what do you call it? But then? But then not just you read that, a pant, the panel, the interview panel, the selection committee reads that and they take the average.

Speaker 1:

Interesting that might work. If everything is paraphrased or restructured by the AI, then you might actually have actual triple blind interview process.

Speaker 2:

And then we would have a test to find out whether or not ai is racist.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, we know that ai is racist and bias and uh because because it? Because it's just, it's just saying everything based on the information that's given by a human being.

Speaker 2:

So now you have the next problem. Yes, my restroom needs me right now. I need to go visit, so I'll talk about this.

Speaker 1:

So Shaik's idea is a good one is that we're starting to live in a society where we're heading towards the understanding that personalities matter in the hiring process. You know you hire somebody who's the best candidate, but they're an absolute jerk hole and nobody on the team wants to work with them. So that becomes a problem. You have the highest earning, the most productive, smartest, best employee, whoever they are, but they can't be effective if they're expected to work with the team, and they can't do that because they're a total tool. So this is a good way to ensure that there is no bias injected into the interview or the hiring process. But then it's easy for me to manipulate understanding of that situation in such a way that you will select me because I can. I can, I mean, if I know that chat GPT is going to paraphrase what I'm saying, I'll just say stuff in a way that gets me hired. Yeah, I can come off as the smartest, I can come off as as the as the most knowledgeable. I can even come off as somebody that everybody wants to work with. It doesn't make it true. It's the nuance of conversation that creates that situation.

Speaker 1:

So when, like if I'm doing an interview. I can talk to somebody and I can. I can get a feel for their personality and since I already know all the other guys on the team, I can, I can, I start to start to see if those personalities are going to fit, at least in my mind, and you can get pretty good at that. I've seen a lot of interview. I've been reading about interviews and stuff lately and I've been seeing a lot of stuff where interviewers are trying to make things more casual, more buddy-buddy, more, try to get to know you less about the job, because you put what you can do on your resume. That's great. Now how do I, how do I know you? How do I know who you are as a person, how you're going to get along with everybody else?

Speaker 1:

I got you know, say I've say I've got 20, 30 people on a team and you are going to going to be inserted like in the middle of that team. But everybody has to work together. This is a massive collaborative environment. But if you're just a total putz and you're a butthole to everybody and you're the kind of person that's telling people you know what, I'll just do it, because you suck at this and you're rubbing everyone the wrong way, you're not getting along. You're going to make my team worse, no matter how good you are. How do I get that from Sy's triple blind interview process? I don't think you can. So that's the problem that I'm having with this whole thing is that personalities need to be a part of the interview process, because we have to embrace the fact that we live in a society and that not everybody is compatible with everybody else, or just just just finding the inherent flaw in your uh, your triple blind interviewing process, which is it's divorced from the actual humanity yes, yes, we can.

Speaker 1:

We can find the perfect candidate on paper, but if it shows that they turn, they show up and they turn out to be a total butt wipe well, the only way we're going to know if that happens or not is if we try it.

Speaker 1:

Well, the grocery industry. When you got high enough, they used to make you take one of those psych tests. That was like three hours of questions asking you you know, you know, you know strongly, disagree, strongly, agree along all of the hundreds of things and then give you a personality profile. That's how they did it. They should have started with that. There you go, give us your resume, take this three-hour psych eval, it would have to be three hours now.

Speaker 1:

And then if we like what we're seeing here, if the numbers line up, then we'll invite you to the triple blind interview process. Bam, okay.

Speaker 2:

We solved it. I think we should start a consulting company based on what we've now uncovered.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Go in and figure out how to get people the best employees.

Speaker 1:

We could definitely, at the very least, write a book. I mean, I've been reading books lately and that's all they really are, just some guy or gal loosely spitting his opinions about this, that and the other thing.

Speaker 2:

When I was working in the Bay Area, the HR well, actually it was our director he was like hey, we're not getting people to apply. Well, no, the problem was they were getting people to apply and they would be granted the opportunity to take a test to achieve this position, but everybody was failing the test what kind of test was it it was. It was based in education and special education, so not your knowledge of individuals with disabilities so it was fact-based.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't personality based correct and you're like hey, we want you and your colleague to, if you're willing to come in and review our tests and let us know if the questions that we're selecting give us your opinion. When you say you, then you mean you, yes, oh, nice, so they. They had 150 questions that we went through the the tests that were given I I think they were randomized. They only got like 20, 15 or 20 of them, maybe, maybe slightly more, but we reviewed every single one of them and I laughed my way through that reading because everyone's failing. And you laughed your way through because it was the questions. The phrasing was poorly written. Many of the questions were asking things that were not relevant for the position. It was was so old and antiquated and just dated and useless. I was like, well, that's why they're all failing. And I came this close to volunteering to just do all of it for them because it was so poorly done.

Speaker 1:

And then I was like you don't want to give yourself that headache.

Speaker 2:

I was like, no, let to give yourself that headache I was like no, let me, let me gracefully backstep my way out of that, because I knew that was going to happen next. And anyway we curtailed all of what they had cataloged in their their questions. So, like this one x, get rid of that. We just like just gutted it. Then we had people passing the test afterwards. All of a sudden we had people fill in our classrooms that were qualified, who wanted the job and who were good, but so who knows how many people they just let go because of that.

Speaker 1:

That process was broken hell of people just tested out and they were just brilliant.

Speaker 2:

Brilliant people, yes because of this thing that no one cares about that's the thing about, about the government.

Speaker 1:

Some processes get so stuck in the past because somebody has to take the initiative to want to, and you saw the what it took for somebody to take the initiative to enact change. They had to have zero people. And how many, how many dozens of people did they go through before someone was like you know what? There's no way.

Speaker 2:

This is there's no way they had people taking the test multiple times and failing each time because they just got a different test. It was another, another, I don't know 30 question test out of the 150 questions that they had had, which 75 of them were terrible.

Speaker 1:

I work in a government subcontract field and we are just now updating a lot of our processes and some of that stuff was like from the 80s processes and some of that stuff was like from the 80s and you would, you would read it and you'd be like you know it's. It's almost like like they were putting in their you know rules about what rooms you could smoke in.

Speaker 2:

You know that it was that kind of old so, yes, you need to schedule that review, that annual review or semi-annual, or however often you think it needs to be looked at Way above my pay grade. Yeah, you just need to schedule a chance, an opportunity to take a look right, just like when you need to wash your car right. You should schedule that too, yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, make sure you have enough PTO, take the time off work, do it right.

Speaker 2:

I am Okay. So when I wash my car, when I do it, I want to film it.

Speaker 1:

You haven't done it yet. That's the best part. You got half a pallet of stuff and you're so afraid to use it because you don't have all the information yet.

Speaker 2:

I've washed my wife's car twice Okay, to test it out and I detailed the interior of her car and then she got hit. So I'm going to have to throw that car away because it's garbage. Now, can't you just?

Speaker 1:

detail all the dents out of it. No, you cannot do that.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to throw this back at you. You cannot.

Speaker 1:

I would offer you bring your car by and experience it. But it's, it's okay, I don't care enough. You did not.

Speaker 2:

I should invite you. I don't care enough. You did not, I should, I should invite you.

Speaker 1:

You did not. It would just be so much work. You did not effectively engage my interest level in this endeavor, this car detailing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you have to have perceived value, you have to have enough desire and want and or need to go down that road and if it doesn't appeal to you then I I might not be able to make it appealing enough to uh, to ever get you to involve yourself with such, such frivolity, frivolity, antics, activities, silliness, such Frivolity, antics, activities, silliness, hobbies. It is a hobby.

Speaker 1:

That's fine, and that part of it, I think, is great. It's a hobby, it is a hobby, and if you just treat it like that, then you're in a good spot.

Speaker 2:

Okay, thank you, cheers. But let's say, let's say, my new neighbors, who I'm not too fond of like my hobby, and they're like hey, let me, uh, you know what that needs? A microfiber towel? Yeah, no, you don't. Maybe maybe a waterless.

Speaker 1:

Let's not drink out of these okay, okay, so then we won't.

Speaker 2:

I have some chalices? Yeah, usually I wash off the tops of my cans, yeah, but if they're covered I don't really.

Speaker 1:

Well, let me try the other one. Let me see if I can find the other one. Where are these chalices at?

Speaker 2:

Check the freezer. Okay, Freezer top shelf.

Speaker 1:

Cold mugs, iced mugs, oh yeah, oh yeah. Now we're yeah, boy.

Speaker 2:

So if, if my neighbor's like, hey, uh, what are you doing? And I go, I'm just cleaning my car? And he goes hmm, what do you charge? And I go something ridiculous, does this happen? No, I'm just, this is another one of those thought experiments that we can rearrange and I go it's going to cost $400 and I'm not already doing something on that day. And it's going to cost 400, you know, and I'm not already doing something on that day, and it's not impacting my ability to live life. There you go, it's going. It's going, um, yeah, why? If I could make an extra thousand dollars a month? Right, yeah, if I could, if I could make my car payment a month that's the.

Speaker 1:

That the dream. Can I turn my hobby into a financially stable endeavor? That's the dream, right.

Speaker 2:

Something that one loves to do. Yeah, are they capable? Are they capable, are you able to sustain it to the point where it's beyond you? Now it involves other people. I would have to get more stuff, stuff at AutoZone, the products it's all mixed and ready to go and they don't sell anything concentrated over there that you have to mix up on your own. So, that stuff I have to order.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but I can make it, it happen. But then you're, you know, but you're thinking along the wrong lines at that point. No, don't do something that you love to do, thinking that you may. Don't fantasize about turning it into a. I love shopping, yeah, so it's gonna help. That's the part it's gonna help. But don't fantasize about turning it into a financially positive endeavor, like I mean, I've been in two live bands. It's red, yeah, I like it.

Speaker 2:

When I first sipped that, I thought it was red.

Speaker 1:

I've been in two live bands, I've been in a number of rap groups and you know, and when I was really young we used to think, oh, you know, we're going to do this, we're going to hit the pavement, we're going to get famous. But that fades away really quick and the only reason why I kept doing it is because I liked doing it?

Speaker 2:

Because if you had the expectation and you continually failed at meeting that expectation, it would get old after a while.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it would be tiresome, it would be trying, it would be depressing. I'm a failure. I'm a failure. I mean, admit you're a failure already and just do it because you love it.

Speaker 2:

Just start there.

Speaker 1:

So if I'm a failure at washing my own car, that's one thing if I'm a failure at washing my own car like that's, that's, that's one thing. That's why 8.1 million people every day take their car through the auto wash.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so I'm talking to, I'm talking to my youngest about this yesterday and I was basically like what's a car made out of? And he told me well, it's. It's rubber and plastic and metal and leather, and you know all the, all the physical materials. My car doesn't have leather in it. I can help you with that. So I basically told him everything I'm learning about how to clean in detail a vehicle that has all of those materials and surfaces allows me to better clean everything around me. Right, everything that's in my car is in my house. All of those same materials are present here. If I have the solutions and the chemicals and the supplies to clean in detail my vehicle to perfection, I can do the same thing with everything around me here.

Speaker 1:

Well, the last thing is about a car. If you're, if you're detailing a car and you mess up a corner, you can just roll it into the dump. But if you do that in the corner of your house, you're f'd in the a, just saying, just be careful, and then I'll have to learn something new, yeah so you like spam musubi, and now we need to have this conversation. Yes, this is important. This is friendship changing. Why just spam musubi? In what way is the idea of spam not palatable to you?

Speaker 2:

it's not palatable to me. As a breakfast food. I had a Spam and Egg Burrito for breakfast this morning so good. So when I was growing up, my father liked to cook Spam. He would fry up Spam in the morning. And I never liked it then.

Speaker 2:

No, didn't like it and I still don't, still don't. And so it wasn't until I was introduced to Spam Musubi after learning to like sushi and Asian foods and Asian cuisine. And so it wasn't until I was introduced to spam misubi. It was like, after you know, after learning to like sushi and Asian foods and. Asian cuisine like this is this is good. This is unexpected. I'm not supposed to like this. Why do I like this?

Speaker 1:

I like where this is going because it might it might suggest that you need to be reintroduced to spam in a variety of ways.

Speaker 2:

You're not wrong. You're not wrong and I'm not against that happening. I'm not against going down that road. I was going to uh, I was actually going to purchase some to make spam misubi for my boys and see what they're you know, see what they think of it.

Speaker 1:

I just bought, costco just started selling um a Korean spice spam and I don't usually like the flavored spams. You know, my favorite one is the spam light, which is low sodium, low fat. Uh, there's three lights, there's three things. That's lower in and I like that one.

Speaker 1:

You know, I think Spam is a little too high in fat and sodium for continuous consumption. But it's an indulgence. Yeah, it totally is. But I got, I wanted to try this. I don't know why I had a wild hair. And, like I said, there's turkey Spam, there's teriyaki Spam, there's like 20 flavors of spam and I've tried most of them and I've not liked them, just like regular spam. But this one here I was like, hmm, because I like to do spam and rice bowls, I also like to do spam and yakisoba noodles and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, well, I'll get them. I might like spam if it were in a loco moco.

Speaker 1:

I make a great Spam, loco moco, by the way, traditional style and I think with that in mind, I also agree with you.

Speaker 2:

If I were to buy Spam, I would want the product to be as original as possible and all of those different flavorings and marinations and stuff I would just do. If I want a teriyaki spam, I would do that. If I wanted something korean, I would do that. If I wanted something a mexican spam, I would do that.

Speaker 1:

And that's what I do. I take the core spam and then, and then I, when I went, and then I flavored as I tossed it or whatever. But this, for some reason, I wanted to try this and I did, and it's pretty good. The wife likes it. I think it's her favorite one. I don't know how to pronounce it, but it's a Korean spice. It's not too spicy. It's got a good flavor to it. The thing about the flavored Spams is, for some reason they're softer than regular Spam, which I know is hard to imagine, but they're all like that.

Speaker 2:

So anyway, but well, speaking about breakfast, uh. So my birthday was january and I went down the road of downloading all these apps three folders worth on my phone to get all of the birthday discounts and stuff. One was denny's and a little bit of self-discipline, a little bit good, good fucking, and stuff. One was denny's and a little bit of self-sufficiency, a little bit good, good, fucking denny's, poor denny's.

Speaker 2:

They seem so awesome well, denny's, this, this may be an awesome story, or not for them, I'd probably not. It's probably not. So on your birthday with denny's, you get a free value slam, which is two slices of bacon or two sausage slings, two eggs and either biscuits and gravy, two pancakes or, uh, two things of french toast so it used to be the classic grand slam breakfast. Yes, it's the one that's currently on their menu in california, in our area, for 6.99 that's actually not too bad.

Speaker 1:

Go ahead, continue.

Speaker 2:

So you get a free one. So I take my app to. I went with my wife. We go out and I'm using it. I tell the we ate at the counter. I told our server hey, I'm using, I want to. Before anything happened, before anything was brought to us. Hey, I just want to let you know I want to be. Before anything happened for anything was brought to us. Hey, I just want to let you know I want to use this. I showed it to her. She's like okay, happy birthday. Yes, she said happy birthday. It was amazing.

Speaker 2:

We had our meal. And then I went to the go to the front to to pay and I take out my there's a QR code there and I show the woman. And the thing is the bill that we got, the woman already removed the value slam, I see, and my wife ordered the same thing because that was enough for her. So the woman at the front takes it off the bill again. Oh, and we both got coffee and I got a side of hash browns, so it took the bill from like it took it to almost nothing. I think it was like $11 for all the food that we had. So I couldn't.

Speaker 2:

I couldn't allow that yeah, no yeah, so I, I brought to her attention and she's like, oh, thank you for mentioning it, because she was about to just get stuff away and she was going to be fat. I don't want anything that happened her. So, um, but she, she didn't scan the qr code, she, so I paid they have, it's they have.

Speaker 1:

They have a upc lookup. That's probably like a three-digit number that they just punch in she failed to do that.

Speaker 2:

Uh.

Speaker 1:

So a week or two later, and this thing's good for 30 days, I still have this reward on my phone so I'm like, oh so you were expecting it to eliminate it from the app because they were supposed to acknowledge that you received it, she didn't scan it and whatever she did in her system, didn't take it off, because the app is logged into your name. Yes, Interesting. So yeah, in that case she would have to scan it.

Speaker 2:

So, as I drop my mic, as I drop the mic yeah, with your thick ass.

Speaker 1:

1990, yosemite what were you? What were you 17? How long have you had that?

Speaker 2:

No, it's just got the so.

Speaker 1:

Yosemite was founded in 1890. Oh, so it's not 1990. No, that's confusing. I'm just going to say that's confusing. I'm surprised you don't know that. Why would I? Because you're so intelligent. I've just never been to Yosemite. You're so smart. The closest I've ever been to Yosemite is Captain Kirk climbing Mount El Capitan.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you just said you've never been to Yosemite conversation. To get sidetracked from that, let's finish, okay. So a couple weeks later it's still on there. I was like you know what, let's see if I get another. And now you have to go see yeah, because that's who you are, yeah, of course. So so I go and I go to a different one, because I don't want to go the same one and go, like you know, have somebody recognize.

Speaker 1:

Oh, this guy is trying to pull one over that you think that they would remember you after having 300 tables a day for three weeks anyway, I go to one that's closer to it's on the way to work still, and it's, it's not an inconvenience.

Speaker 2:

Go before work. It's at a truck stop and have they got the food out fast, had my meal, it's great, okay, got the value slam and orange juice. And then I go to check out, get the qr code. Hey, happy birthday, okay. Oh uh, okay. Our system's never. It never works. It's always down.

Speaker 1:

She couldn't scan it oh, so good, but she put in the upc and gave it to you, though, right, she gave it to me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. So I paid for an orange juice, I left the tip and uh went my way.

Speaker 1:

So a couple weeks later, you still.

Speaker 2:

You still have nine days left you're such a horrible person so I go around the corner and from work at lunch and it's like I'm gonna get a slam. Let's see if this works. And it did, and their system worked and they scanned it and that was fine. So my birthday lasted far longer at Denny's than necessary.

Speaker 1:

So let me ask you this Does the quality of the food meet your expectations based on younger Sykes' remembrances of the quality of the food?

Speaker 2:

so each one of those locations was different noticeably. So the franchises, yes, and I think the the best one I had was the the third stop, yeah, the the bacon was. There was more of it on the bacon, so jones complaint.

Speaker 1:

You know he, he has ranted about danny's bacon and it has gotten thinner like they've they've. Technology has improved to the point to where they can slice that it's so thin, they freeze it and slice it, and yeah, but yeah, um.

Speaker 1:

So it's nice to hear that there's a place that hasn't figured that out and they're giving you real slices of bacon. Poor Denny's. You know what they're trying. They are, they're doing the best they can. But in my opinion the food has gotten so expensive, which is why I was surprised that the Grand Slam, the Value Slam, was $6.99. Because I've been a few times in the last few, you know, couple of years.

Speaker 1:

We went with with Twig and that was awful. And then I went back because I was like no, it can't, it can't be. And it was even worse. And then the wife and I went to a Denny's I'm I don't know. I was not feeling well and I needed to eat. So a Denny's. I was not feeling well and I needed to eat. So we went to a Denny's where we're traveling somewhere, I can't even remember where it was. We were not in the area, we had flown somewhere and I needed to eat. So we went to a Denny's and it was even worse. But each time the two of us a meal was like $35, $40.

Speaker 1:

And I'm just like man. I could have gone to a Chili's or an Applebee's or some kind of basement-level sit-down restaurant and gotten a better experience, probably had a beer and paid the same money. And we're talking about pancakes. You know, pancakes you get, you get a, you get a box of bisquick and you can make like 4 000 pancakes for like three dollars. Yeah, and what is denny how, what is denny's using to make pancakes?

Speaker 2:

I'm sure they have their own purveyor that sources some of that stuff. It's not what you're talking pancakes. It's flour and sugar and salt and a little bit of leavener, right, baking soda, baking powder, as your dry ingredients. And then you got eggs and milk, or eggs and butter, milk, a little bit of butter, melted butter you're good.

Speaker 1:

A proprietary recipe that uses a rich flour, sugar, uh, and leavening agents, salt, milk, eggs, vegetable oil.

Speaker 2:

Yep, that's that okay, okay, it's easy, it's easy, yeah, it's easy. I kind of, with Kodiak aside, if my wife brings any other stuff, I'll obviously oh, because you like to make pancakes.

Speaker 1:

You've told stories about how you spend an entire day preparing to make pancakes.

Speaker 2:

I'll whip up the egg whites, make them as fluffy as possible. I'll brown the butter, all your brown butter. Pancakes with buttermilk.

Speaker 1:

And then tell the audience how you don't even like pancakes.

Speaker 2:

I don't like they're starting to grow on me. But no, I don't really like pancakes. I don't. I make amazing pancakes, these things are. How can you tell if you don't? I don't, I make amazing pancakes, these things are. How can you tell if you don't like them? I know what's good and what's not, flavor wise I so I don't. I don't like lamb. I don't like lamb, but I make an excellent herb crusted, just like gordon ramsay rack of lamb beautiful. Take pic. You could take pictures of it and send it to any magazine. And don't like the flavor. I know it's good. It's cooked to perfection. The temperature is spot on. The crust on the outside is herbaceous.

Speaker 1:

I've gotten really good at center cut filet mignons like the thick ones, yeah To where. Every time we go to a nice restaurant now, my wife gets the filet mignonons like the thick ones to where. Every time we go to a nice restaurant now, my wife gets the filet mignon to compare. Yes, that's a nice place to be.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I mean I've gotten good at it. I even dude. The last time I did it, do you baste? Now, dude, I made a Bordelaine.

Speaker 2:

I didn't, I didn't.

Speaker 1:

You made a Bordelaine Dude. I didn't, I didn't, I dude it took, it, took me forever. I had half a bottle of red wine that the wife had started like two days before and I was like you know what Got me some, got me some beef stock and I and I and I made I freaking you know I I simmered it down with I diced shallots, I put in the thyme and rosemary and I strained it and I simmered it down and it was good, like I was like at first I was like you know what, I don't know, I don't know how I feel about this like you know, taste, a little tasty spoon, whatever, it's okay. But when it finally finished and it settled and we and I served it on the side because I was a little, I was a little concerned about it and it was, oh my god, like, like Amethyst and Keisha were drinking the cups.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, those moments make it. Yeah, Like the day not that long ago I made the burp lock sauce Amazing. And dinner that night here people were literally licking the plates. It's so good we can't. We don't licking the plates. It's so good, we don't have enough of this.

Speaker 1:

So the Roxy used to make I mean, their steak. They used to come with a port borderless and it was just. I wish they still did it honestly.

Speaker 2:

You know what, next time we go, let's ask for it. They have all the ingredients there to make it and their chefs are able. They're capable. It's not on the menu, right?

Speaker 1:

We're going to order off menu next time at the Roxy. We're that bougie now. Yes, just ask for it, just ask and so. But you know, back in my younger days, when I was I'm not embarrassed by it but I asked for more, Right, more. What More sauce? They brought me a fucking saucer of it, all right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and they were cool, that was fine. And you know, down the line, you know I was like, wow, is the giving me a cause? Cause, they have a proportions that's set to a certain, a certain flavor profile and I was like, hey, can you give me, can you give me more of your fancy dipping sauce? Okay, but I still did it and I was just so good, yeah, so good. I know I used it, I used a, uh, I used a Murphy's clock, spring Um Spring, the Milliare Clock, spring Zinfandel. I made it with that, okay, and it was good yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you could use whatever red wine you want on that, yeah.

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