The Vibration Fit Podcast

Episode 9: Dealing With Negativity In The Workplace

• Jordan & Vanessa Buckingham

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This episode is in response to a powerful coaching form submission from a new nurse navigating low-vibe energy in a professional setting. We walk through a real-world framework for staying aligned—even when those around you aren't—and how to reclaim your power without needing anyone else to change.

You’ll learn:

  • A simple 3-part process for transforming your relationship with anyone (without needing them to change)
  • How to navigate toxic or passive-aggressive coworkers
  • What “toxic positivity” really is (and isn’t)
  • How to stop taking on other people’s energy
  • The vibrational anchoring technique that shifts how people show up to you
  • How to speak your truth if you need to address something directly—with love and clarity

If you’ve ever felt drained after a shift or struggled to keep your light on around certain people, this episode will help you feel grounded, clear, and empowered. Whether you're a nurse, teacher, team leader, or anyone working with other humans, this one is packed with real talk, humor, and practical tools for staying above the green line—even when others aren’t.

💡 Ready to raise your vibe in tough environments? This episode is your toolkit.
 📝 Submit your own coaching question at vibrationfit.com/coaching

Together we're fine-tuning the process of conscious creation, and having a whole lot of FUN while doing it!

 #VibrationFit #ConsciousCreation #AboveTheGreenLine #WorkplaceWellness #Alignment #ToxicPositivity #EmpathProtection #VibrationalAnchoring #EmotionalIntelligence #NurseLife #SpiritualTools #EnergyLeadership #RaiseYourVibe #TheVibrationFitPodcast

Jordan:

Welcome to the Jordan and Vanessa show. I'm Jordan and I'm Vanessa, and today's episode I'm really excited about because it's actually in response to a coaching form submission on the website.

Vanessa:

At vibrationfitcom slash coaching. Yes.

Jordan:

And it's essentially about dealing with negativity in the workplace. So Vanessa is going to start by reading the form submission, this amazing submission.

Jordan:

And, by the way, this person requested to remain anonymous. So if you ever do submit a coaching question and it's personal, this is a really good one, because obviously it deals with human beings in our workplace. You can click that little button remain anonymous, and we'll just make sure that we don't mention your name. No one knows where you are in the world, who you are, anything about you, but we can still address the concern.

Vanessa:

Yeah, totally so. Here's the question. It says huge fan. Yes, thank you, thank you.

:

We love you.

Vanessa:

I was wondering if you have any recommendations as to how to deal with others that lower your vibrations in a professional setting. I'm worried that coworkers may interpret my strive towards good vibrations as toxic positivity, which can result in being met with passive aggressiveness. As a new nurse in my field and only two years out of school, it can be hard to gain the respect of older individuals of both higher and lower education degrees. I try very hard to respect my elders by acknowledging my novice in the field and ask questions to try to understand their reasoning, and part of my role is to question orders before carrying them out as a nurse. Overall, I love my co-workers. It's just a select few that can be difficult to work with because of how much they affect everyone's vibration. In my personal life, my tendency is to try to not surround myself by people that bring down my vibration, but how do you tolerate not feeling respected by coworkers in this situation?

Jordan:

I love this question so much.

Vanessa:

I know it's so amazing.

Jordan:

It's very relevant.

Vanessa:

Yeah right.

Jordan:

And I actually, before I ran my own business, I was an employee as an engineer and I've had personal experiences that were very similar to this and I actually was in oil and gas. So probably even less of a professional environment, so to speak. I'll tell some stories on that. But I think less of a professional environment, so to speak. I'll tell some stories on that. But I think this impacts a lot of people and even now, as a business owner, we're dealing with clients and we're dealing with employees. Yeah, contractors.

Jordan:

Contractors. So essentially, there are all these relationships with all these human beings in all sorts of different professional settings, whether they're somebody that you're answering to or whether they're just a peer in the workplace, but it's definitely an interesting environment.

Vanessa:

Yeah, when you're at home, you have the choice of who walks through your front door, but whenever you're in a professional setting, you don't always have all of the choice in who you work with Absolutely.

Jordan:

And I think that's one of the really big things that can feel super disempowering in particular situations, especially whenever you're facing. The negative side of this is oh my gosh, I have to be around this person every single day. Yeah, and there's nothing I can do about that. They've been here for a long time, or maybe they're the owner of the business, or maybe they're the doctor, or maybe they're a long time nurse. Whatever it is like they're stuck in there like a hair in a biscuit.

:

You know what I?

Jordan:

mean they're not going anywhere. So if you've got people that are stuck in there like a hair in a biscuit, and you still want to love your life. You still want to love your life, like how do you go about dealing with this, and I love it because I've definitely been in that situation before. So I think the number one thing I want to say is we've got a really great how-to on this, so we are going to run through the meat and potatoes of how to deal with this situation.

Vanessa:

So stick with us on this one.

Jordan:

And they even have numbers like one, two, three, but we are planned, we are we have planned this out, but the reason I was able to plan this out is I have dealt with this exact thing before. Whenever I first started as an engineer, my boss was dealing with a lot and they had the ability to be toxic, very, very toxic. In fact. I remember I lived in a place where the phone service was very spotty and when you're in oil and gas, a lot of times you're going to like drilling rigs that are like really far away, and it wasn't infrequent that I would be out of cell phone service where my phone couldn't ring, and I would come back to a place where I got phone service and I would have one or multiple voicemails full of expletives about where are you?

Jordan:

what are you doing? You're supposed to be doing this, but very, very robustly with all the curse words. I'm talking f-bombs, like I'm talking full-on verbal attacks so like. So that makes it really fun to wake up in the morning like I'm talking full on verbal attacks.

Vanessa:

So like. So that makes it really fun to wake up in the morning, so like.

Jordan:

I would say a little bit of passive aggression would be wonderful. Yeah. Because I was experiencing full on aggression, aggression. Yeah. And your initial response is like dude. I just want to get away from this.

Jordan:

Like I don't want to work with these people, like I don't want to deal with this.

Jordan:

You know I want to be in a more professional setting, but the challenge is if you never empower yourself to take control of your own vibration and your own point of focus in situations that arise like this, then it does not matter where you go, it does not matter what type of business you enter into, it does not matter what type of job that you do. There's never going to be a situation where you are not dealing with other human beings in some capacity. And no matter where you go, no matter what workplace, no matter what hospital or what doctor you would work for, you're going to run into these situations. So I think the best thing to do is to figure out a way to empower yourself in the situation so that you can deal with it time and time and time again whenever it does arise.

Vanessa:

Right yeah, and I think the first part of being able to do that is reminding yourself that your intention is for good.

Jordan:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

So your intention is not to hurt the other person, and one of the things that we say is I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt you.

Vanessa:

So, if you remind yourself of that, my intention is good here. I am not malintentioned at all. I know that they're coming from a point that they, wherever they're at, but my intention here is good. So whenever you remind yourself of that, you can take the pressure off of yourself after you have these interactions with them, no matter how awful they were to you, and you can say my intention was for good.

Jordan:

Yeah, totally.

Vanessa:

So this wasn't on me. However, they perceived maybe anything that I said. That's something that they're dealing with internally. But that's not something that I have to self-reflect on and be guilty about, or beat myself up about thinking that, oh, whatever I said or did made them mad. It's like no, that's something that they're dealing with internally, that's nothing you have to deal with.

Jordan:

A hundred percent, and actually that's number one of the framework.

Jordan:

So I think what I'm going to do here is we're going to go ahead and get into the framework, because I applied this exact framework in this exact system I guess you would say this little micro system in my workplace whenever I dealt with this and it really did transform my life in a huge way, because from that point forward, it's not that I was never met with negativity, aggression, passive aggression again, but what was cool is I always had a system to be able to deal with that, no matter where I went.

Vanessa:

Right Because you don't want to feel like you need to get through the day. You don't want to feel like that every single day. Like oh, I can enjoy my life when I get home at the end of the day and I'm not around that person.

:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

Or whenever I'm not on the same shift as them, then you're putting all of the fun in the future and you're not enjoying your present moment. It's much better to be able to enjoy all of the moments, take the power back and be able to like, transform these, these moments, into what you want them to be.

Jordan:

Absolutely. So let's jump into the one, two, three. So basically, there's a pretty simple one, two, three here. There's a pretty simple one, two, three here, and then there's actually a number four that is designed for situations where it's gotten so bad that you really feel like you have to take action to resolve this relationship or bring attention to it or something, so that one's optional based on your situation.

Jordan:

Optional, based on your situation, but also always after fully executing on one through three, first for a while. Okay, so the number one of this one, two, three is remind yourself of your own intention. So I know the person who actually submitted this coaching form. I know them to be a very kind, loving, wonderful person, one of my favorite people on earth, actually. So I know that her intention in her workplace wouldn't be to piss anybody off or to make them angry, or to poke the bear or to stick the key and some insecurity inside of them and turn it and be like you know like it's not her nature to be that way.

Jordan:

So number one is remind yourself of your own intention because, just like you said, you cannot control what happens in someone else's mind. You can't control how they're going to perceive a situation or take a situation, and there are a million examples of this. But essentially, if you say, in this particular situation, ask a coworker a question, they have the choice to choose to perceive that one of two ways. They can say they're questioning my practice, they're questioning the way I do things, and they can go on a negative lean, like essentially they can feel it like an attack, they're questioning the way that I do this. Or they can say, oh, they're questioning the way that I do this, that's literally her job.

Jordan:

Number one yeah, it's like nursing 101, to ask what are we doing and why are we doing it? So that you don't kill people. You know, what I mean it's a very important job. It's a very important part of the job to question, like what is in this thing that I'm about to give this person, you know, like very important part of the job?

Vanessa:

What if this person asks, or what if another person asks in the future what this is or why I'm doing?

Jordan:

this or how? Yeah, so part of it is literally like nursing 101. It's their job to ask questions, to question the thing that's being presented to the patient. Secondly, they're trying to learn, so, this person being newly out of school the last couple years, they're still very much in. How does all this work mode?

Jordan:

and they want to be great at their job and they really care about people and they really want to be able to help them. So, at the end of the day, I know her intention is really solid here, but this person in this scenario has the choice on how they're going to perceive that and she can't do anything about that. She's never going to be able to do anything about that. They're always going to be able to choose one lean or the other.

Jordan:

Reminding yourself of your own intention is a way to basically soften the idea in your own mind of why you might have instigated something in someone it's like it's like because obviously whenever someone responds negatively to that, it can kind of feel like you caused it, like I caused them to have this negative reaction towards me, I caused them to be passive, aggressive, I caused them to whatever.

Vanessa:

But by reminding yourself that your intention is good, you can just skip your own insecurity.

Jordan:

Yeah, absolutely, which actually brings me to number two.

Vanessa:

Which is.

Jordan:

There's a very powerful framework that I use, and it's basically every attack is from a point of insecurity, every time, 100% of the time. Generally, the bigger the attack, the bigger the insecurity. So sometimes we don't realize it, but just by asking a simple question we can essentially activate an insecurity within someone, something that they're dealing with internally. Right.

Jordan:

Maybe a mistake that they made a long time ago. So think about this as an idea. Somebody made a mistake 10 years ago. It's still an insecurity within them. Maybe it had a pretty serious negative implication, you know, and now you ask them a question, it activates an insecurity that they've been holding on for a really long time. And now they verbally attack you or the energy just you just feel it go cold, or that person starts to treat you differently in the workplace, whatever.

Vanessa:

Right and a lot of times I feel like these things can happen, subconsciously.

Jordan:

Totally.

Vanessa:

So they don't even know that that was there, necessarily. So it's not like oh, this is activating something from 10 years ago and. I feel really bad about this now. It's just, this is how their psyche has like developed this into a pattern.

Jordan:

A hundred percent Like what's the vibrational? Pattern. How many people out of a hundred right now are the conscious creator of their reality? 5% 5% yeah, so five out of a hundred people. Yeah. So 95 out of a hundred people aren't doing that. So the likelihood that someone's going to say, wow.

:

I am aware I feel, I feel kind of bad right now.

Jordan:

It seems that this person has activated an insecurity within me and I feel the need to attack her, but since I know from my emotional guidance system that that's not in harmony with who I am, I'm not going to do that and I'm going to act differently. It's basically what never happens with 95% of the population.

Vanessa:

Most people never so most people never.

Jordan:

And even the conscious creators still we have to check ourselves all the time from like I bark at my children like a dog. Yeah, I growl at them like a bear when they activate an insecurity within me and I would consider myself the conscious creator of my reality. So I'm just saying every attack in all forms is from a point of insecurity, whether it's passive aggression, aggression, aggression, whatever.

Vanessa:

At all forms, at all ages. Yeah, like from little tiny toddlers to elderly, like all ages.

Jordan:

Absolutely so I do want to mention one of the solutions around this framework that actually is going to help with a piece of her question, which is essentially being concerned about positive like basically toxic positivity is a is a new term it's basically like good vibes, only good vibes only. But there is a very far reaching side of toxic positivity where essentially you just won't allow yourself to like engage any idea that doesn't make you feel good and like whatever. Yeah, kind of out of fear, you know.

Vanessa:

Yeah, to me it kind of implies that you're not allowing yourself to feel your emotions. Yeah, like you're putting on a facade that you're only positive all the time.

:

Yes, which?

Vanessa:

isn't true. Like nobody's positive all the time.

Jordan:

No, like your emotional guidance system would have to be broken.

Vanessa:

Yeah, for that to happen, and that's just not going to happen Like you're going to roll through your day.

Jordan:

You're going to be experiencing highs and lows. You're going to be experiencing negative emotion whenever you're focused in ways that source isn't joining you in, and you're going to feel positive emotion when you're focused in ways that source is also focused in that way. Right and that's always going to be the case, for all time, forever. Yeah.

Jordan:

So, inside of this framework, what I like to do is, sometimes I will remind myself of this whole toxic positivity thing and if you've had an experience where someone doesn't take it well, because what we have a tendency to do when we're the conscious creator of our reality is we reframe things in our mind all the time.

Vanessa:

Right, we're always coming up with frameworks that make us feel better.

Jordan:

Precisely so if somebody comes out of their mouth with something negative with some lean on something and they don't even realize that it's a perspective that they're choosing.

Vanessa:

Yeah, have you ever like woken up and it's a beautiful day outside and it's like, oh look, it's actually really nice out, it would be a great day to take a bike ride? And the other person's like like F this global warming Totally.

Jordan:

It's like whoa bro Like let's slow down a little bit.

:

Like, let's reframe this Can we?

Jordan:

It's nice.

Vanessa:

Can we take a deep breath?

:

Yeah, Namaste bro, namaste lady.

Jordan:

Like chill, lighten me, she's a lighten you, it's all good, but now that person is not in vibrational harmony with the positive reframe that you are doing in your mind to yield to them. So what happens a lot is, we'll kind of do this reframe for ourselves to make ourselves feel better. Yeah.

Vanessa:

But then we'll voice it and then the other person takes out their thor hammer and tries to obliterate

Jordan:

it's like this is not toxic positivity, this is just positivity yeah this is me reframing what you just said. That was negative in a way that makes me feel better. But now I've turned the ice pick of pain in you a little bit harder, because now it's like essentially every attack is from a point of insecurity.

Jordan:

So a lot of times this thing will come out it came from a point of insecurity. Now we try to reframe it, send it back to the person, thinking that we're like trying to help them, but they're in vibrational harmony with the thing that just came out of their mouth.

Vanessa:

So they send it back? Yeah, so it's like I'm rubber, you're glue.

Jordan:

Whatever you say bounces off me and back on you. It's like. Well, in this case, that's good, because I'm like.

Vanessa:

I'm sending out good vibes.

Jordan:

I'm sending out good vibes, so I'm going to be getting good vibes back, but the person just doesn't have the ability to internalize it. So a lot of times what it'll do is it will aggravate the situation and then they'll take it to another level, essentially like exacerbating exacerbate their vibration exactly, and but now almost feeling the need to attack you to prove the point of like what, so it's like. Wait, I brought you this level, you brought me that level.

Jordan:

Well, now I'm gonna go up another level so that I can show you how shitty the world actually is. I've been here a lot longer than you and I've been doing this a lot longer than you, and you're just out of school and you'll learn one day, little missy, how freaking horrible everything is, because I've been around.

Vanessa:

It's like holy crap man I'm like wait, if there was a button, I pushed it you nailed it and that's what happens.

Jordan:

Like we're, we're inadvertently pushing people's insecurity buttons.

Jordan:

Yeah I love that when I was a kid. We don't even know where they are.

Jordan:

When I was a kid, my sisters knew where my insecurity buttons were and they would press them on purpose. Girly man was one of their favorites.

:

Jordan's a girly man. Girly man, girly man.

Jordan:

Look what Jordan did Exactly exactly, it was awesome daddy jordan's having a temper tantrum it was awesome they're, they're really good at it. So, anyway, I've had my buttons pressed yeah we're inadvertently pressing other people's buttons. So here's a tool inside of this framework number two. I created this phrase and it basically says I see how you could see it that way and essentially what you're telling yourself in your own mind is based on their vibrational offering right now and the thoughts that they have access to based on that vibration and their lean.

Vanessa:

And knowing every attack is from a point of insecurity. And knowing every attack is from a point of insecurity.

Jordan:

And knowing every attack is from a point of insecurity. I can see how they would speak that into existence. I can see from my point of understanding, like why they would do that, how they would do that, whether you would engage in that idea or not, whether you want to put that negative expectation into the universe or not you know, like they are. You can still see why they're doing it. And no one operates inappropriately given their model of the world. Right.

Jordan:

So no one says things that are inappropriate given their model of the world. So I think this whole framework, essentially what we're trying to get across in point number two, is giving you the tools that you need essentially to have some compassion in a way, some definitely just understanding that that person is just operating from their model of the world, speaking things into existence from their vibrational offering that's dominant, operating from their own dominant thought processes.

Vanessa:

And when you understand how these things are working vibrationally, when you understand that they're just operating below the green line and you know when you're below the green line that's painful, totally so when you understand that they're just pinching themselves off from their own source and they're experiencing pain as a result, they may not know that, they may not be conscious, they may not be the conscious creator of their reality, and so they're living below the green line and they're feeling the emotions associated with that. So whenever you bring that back to your awareness, it's a lot easier to have compassion for them, in my opinion.

Jordan:

Oh, absolutely Like insecurity, unworthiness, guilt, all that stuff lives down there in a similar vibrational range. Yeah. And every attack is from a point of insecurity. So naturally if someone is living down there, then their natural response is attack, blame, these things, and what they don't realize is they're just reaching to feel a little bit better.

Jordan:

Right and it's easier for them, at least in their own mind, their own construction, to attack this new nurse, right, it's easier to be like, well, I've been here for a long time, you haven't. It's easier for me to blame you for pushing my insecurity button. It's easier for me to be passive, aggressive, be a jerk right, to claim a little bit of empowerment. It's a little bit easier to attack them than it is for me to clean up this vibration, which obviously they're not thinking that way because they're one of the 95 out of 100 that is not the conscious creator of their reality. But you know what I'm saying? Essentially, it's easier for me to feel a little bit better by attacking this person than it is to resolve this thing that I've had going on for decades.

Vanessa:

Yeah, we don't talk about that. We don't want to get to the bottom of that. No, we don't talk about Bruno, I'm just curious Like where does passive aggressiveness live on the emotional guidance scale? Passive aggressive, we have it right here.

Jordan:

Oh, it's definitely like an attack right. So I would say it's kind of in blame.

Vanessa:

Yeah, so that's emotion 15. A little bit of blame a little bit of revenge. Yeah.

Jordan:

Like I'm feeling vengeful. So it kind of goes like hatred rage goes into revenge, because it feels a little bit more empowering to want to stab back at somebody than it does to feel like the rage. Right. So that's where a lot of this is and then up to blame, and then from revenge it goes to anger, because anger just being angry feels better than wanting to stab someone.

:

Yeah.

Jordan:

Like verbally you know, verbally or whatever, and then discouragement feels a little bit better than anger, and then blame feels better than discouragement. So I would say it lives somewhere in that world, any sort of passive aggression, verbal attack, nonverbal attack. But it's very clear that you're trying to make me aware that you disapprove of what I just said or what I just asked you, or like. I'm not five.

Vanessa:

Message received. Yeah, message received. You know, I got it. Return to sender.

Jordan:

Yeah, I get it, you don't dig what just went down Like, honestly, we could isolate the incident incident. You could just maybe be a dick for the next 45 seconds or so, but maybe not the next 45 days. That'd be super, you know. But from what I've heard in a lot of these workplace settings especially like these workplaces, where you know there are a lot of people, there's a lot of mix and you know there are a lot of high stress situations, yeah think about that.

Jordan:

You got all these people living in this high-stress situation, especially in medical.

Vanessa:

You see, true colors come out.

Jordan:

Absolutely. It's just sort of destined for all of these insecurities to pop up and all these things that play themselves out. So I would say, inside of that framework, the verbal outward thing that you can actually say out of your mouth is the I can see how you would see it that way, or, oh, that's a really interesting viewpoint.

Vanessa:

So you're not agreeing with them? You're not disagreeing with them. You nailed it.

Jordan:

It's not that you don't have to agree with them to say I can see how you would perceive it that way, given your model of the world, and I'm super weird. So I have to like, not say like things in these ways, like like cause if I was to actually say it like, say some, say you say something to someone you accidentally push an insecurity button, they attack. It would actually sound something like this oh, you're attacking me right now. You know every attack is from a point of insecurity.

Vanessa:

What's yours?

Jordan:

Every time. So you've got something deep down within, that's active within you.

Vanessa:

Let's talk about this.

Jordan:

That hurts really badly for you, so badly that you're going to like level nine dickery right now in attack of me. But here's the thing.

Jordan:

No one behaves inappropriately. Given their model of the world, and. I know and can see within you namaste that this is just coming from a point of insecurity. So here's the thing.

Jordan:

I can see how you would see it that way, friend, and it doesn't hurt my feelings, because hurt people, hurt people and you're just hurt, okay.

Vanessa:

Well then you probably never have to see them again, because they would always run away from you when they saw you 100%. So that might be the best way, that might be the best route to go. You know what?

Jordan:

You could do the whole thing verbally, like I just did, and it would become so awkward that they would just avoid you.

Vanessa:

All the time, forever. This is a great plan.

:

Yeah, I didn't even think about that.

Jordan:

You need to just bring it to an awkward level so high that they avoid you.

Vanessa:

This makes me think of that episode of Friends with Bruce Willis. Ross was dating Bruce Willis' daughter in the show and then rachel starts dating bruce willis and he's like kind of a dick to ross. And then eventually she she's like you, never talk about any of your feelings and then he, he says that she opened the floodgates and he just starts crying about everything in his life starting when he was like three years old. Totally.

Vanessa:

So it's like what if these things actually work that way, like? I see these things in you. Let's talk about them.

Jordan:

Yeah, 100%. So I really do feel like this is very helpful. Yes, when you can perceive it that way, that Bruce Willis inside just wants to cry, they're in there. There there's a lot of pain active within this person. There's an insecurity, and the thing is you're never going to know what that is. You're never going to be able to resolve that. That person may not even know what that insecurity is and they're certainly not going home doing vibrational work to try to clean up their life and their dominant point of attraction.

Vanessa:

And even if you try to go there with them, they will not meet you in the middle. Don't do it. Yeah, just don't try.

Jordan:

Word of advice Don't try to take the unconscious humans up the vibrational ladder until they like expressly request it yeah. It's not going to be met well.

Vanessa:

Yeah, no, and I can say, like it's so important to acknowledge how you show up and be aware of that and ensure that you're not lowering your vibration to meet them where they're at, because it's not going to help them. Yeah, then they're below the green line, feeling unhappy, and Then they're below the green line, feeling unhappy and you're also below the green line, feeling unhappy.

Jordan:

Absolutely.

Vanessa:

And then there's no influence down there and it really doesn't feel good for anyone.

Jordan:

Totally so.

Vanessa:

I've had to do that a lot with myself because I feel like I've been an empath a lot of my life and I've heard that once you are an empath, you're always an empath. Yeah, I've heard that once you are an empath, you're always an empath, so it's like being aware of how you feel around other people and not changing your vibration to meet other people's vibration, to make them feel better, because that's not possible.

Jordan:

Definitely. I feel like you nailed that, like I love the idea of you don't have to go there with them, right, a lot of times, whenever we're trying to connect with people, we have a tendency to sort of go where they go, sort of like mirroring. You know, like somebody will say something and then you're trying to develop rapport so you'll say something that matches it, to try to make the connection you know, what I mean and and we feel kind of this pressure to do that and then this person goes I like that person because they think, like I think, they said something similarly vibrating to what I just said yeah in vibrational harmony with me, like like I, like this person.

Jordan:

That's kind of how you know these interactions work, but your vibration really suffers, right? So just like I, like this person. That's kind of how you know these interactions work, but your vibration really suffers, right? So, just like she said, like how do you be around low vibe people whenever you're trying to live a high vibe life? And I think that's one of the most important parts is you don't have to go there with them to develop a connection with them.

Vanessa:

I think that's why your framework like I can see how you would feel that way. It's not. I can see how you would feel that way. It's not. I can see how you would feel that way and I'm going to feel that way too Correct.

Jordan:

Yeah, you don't have to do the. I feel that I'm going to feel that way too, so that you and I can bond and we can cry together on our pillows at night. It's like, don't go there, Like I can see how you would see it that way. Yeah. And when you can do that and you sort of like give yourself permission to not go there, what you're doing is you're acknowledging that person and you're appreciating something about them and you're saying it outwardly in a way that does not press the insecurity button Right. Right.

Jordan:

That does not press the insecurity button. Right, right, and essentially you're just giving yourself permission to not engage the vibration at the same time that you closed the loop of whatever they just did and said Right.

Vanessa:

Something I've been doing too. With situations like that, like if somebody says something and I take it maybe as an insecurity, like I adopt that as an insecurity myself, or it pushes an insecurity button within me I, instead of allowing the mental chatter to start and like brooding on all of the the different thought loops that can occur around whatever insecurity they pushed in me, I usually give myself space, I back away from the situation and I remind myself nothing's more important than that. I feel good.

Jordan:

Right.

Vanessa:

So I'm going to choose to feel good and if, focusing on this thing whether it's something they said or it's something I said and I'm thinking about the way that they might have perceived it If the way that I'm thinking about it doesn't feel good, then I back away from it, give myself space and I ask myself what does make me feel good and if it, if I can't find a way to feel good about whatever it is, then I move on to something else.

Jordan:

Yeah, absolutely. I mean just reminding yourself that there's nothing more important, that I feel good. Yeah because all my influence and power is from above. The green line. Right. So, however, I can look at this in a way that keeps me above the green line, is where the win is Right. So, finalizing the one, two, three. So now there's the what happens after the interaction. There's the what happens after the interaction when you go your separate ways, but you're still experiencing the Angst.

Jordan:

Angst like this, whatever that would be called the heebie-jeebies yeah, the heebie-jeebies.

Jordan:

You're still experiencing like the negativity from the situation where it's like, oh man, I still kind of feel like dumb. I need to take a shower, Can I get?

Vanessa:

Yeah.

Jordan:

Can I gargle something?

Jordan:

Like, can I get this out of my mouth? Can I get it?

Vanessa:

out of my.

Jordan:

Yeah, Like I just got to get this off me, right.

Vanessa:

I need a vibrational cleanse, yeah.

Jordan:

Like literally, can I go take like some sort of a vibrational footpath and get this off of me you know what I'm saying?

Vanessa:

bring out the smudge. We've all experienced that.

:

Yeah, I need all the oils, something yeah, it's like you.

Jordan:

it's funny with spiritual people, like sometimes we actually have friends that have this like bag of concoctions and they'll have an experience like this and then all of a sudden you'll see them like pulling all these crazy things, like like there will be a crystal. They'll get the crystal out and be like ooh, and then they'll pull out something that smells good.

:

And then they're like got these little rollerball things.

Jordan:

They'll pull it out and be like shh shh, shh shh. They're like rubbing it on themselves. They take their shoes off and they're putting it on the bottom of their feet Yuck.

Jordan:

Then the incense and the lighter comes out, yeah, smudge sticks, yeah, yeah, spreading the energy do you have a lighter by chance?

Jordan:

I got, I got one.

Jordan:

Let me just like a bunsen burner they're like fighting the incense you're like what that was on your back like you were really ready for this moment.

Jordan:

You know, like you're ready for the situation like so, uh, anyway, that was kind of a detour, but it's pretty funny like we've all felt that way right? So yeah, what happens after you leave is this is gonna marinate and it's gonna replay over and over, and, over and over again in your mind because technically this was like emotionally traumatic for you. Yeah. If you think about it, that's sort of what the brain is designed to do is whenever something has a large emotional response, it has a tendency to remember it.

Vanessa:

And that's what we identify as trauma. Right, that's what we define as trauma is just some, a situation or an experience that had a lot of emotional charge around it.

Jordan:

Yeah, absolutely Unchecked. You're just going to continue to activate that way that you felt over and over and over and over and over and over again. And then you're going to leave work and you're going to think about that interaction again, over and over and over, and then you're going to approach going to bed and then you're like, oh God, I got to go to bed where I'm going to have to wake up, and then I'm going to have to go back to work where I'm going to encounter that person again.

Vanessa:

Yeah, and pick up in that same vibration that you left.

Jordan:

Totally and then. So now you've got this anxiety going and the challenge with that is that now you're activating that vibration from that point all the way to the next time you're going to go to work again.

Vanessa:

Yeah. And the unwanted vibration.

Jordan:

Exactly, and you are the conscious creator of your reality. You do have the ability to shift your own vibration within, regardless of what's going on without. Most people don't have the training to be able to do it, but we're providing it.

Vanessa:

Yeah, here's the how to. So, this part's really fun.

Jordan:

This is a really fun thing to do. So essentially, you now get to focus. So step three is focus. So I'm going to do a weird exercise here here, just to basically like bring this point home, but take a person that a lot of people know.

Vanessa:

So let's just take a very well-known actor, pick a very well-known actor let's say what's his name the one that we, the funny one that's in all of there are eight billion people in the world I can't think of a lot of them are famous okay the rock, the rock duane the rock johnson okay so most of the people listening to this probably know duane the rock johnson.

Jordan:

So for everyone listening to this, I want you to think about Dwayne the Rock Johnson wearing a pink dress. I think he actually did that in the.

Vanessa:

Tooth Fairy movie.

Jordan:

Yeah, he probably has Guy's been around a while. He's done a lot of really cool stuff. Now I want you to think about him sitting down in a blue chair and pulling that blue chair up to a walnut desk and I want you to imagine him looking across that desk at you smiling really big with that big old Dwayne the Rock Johnson grin, and he's just cheesing at you in his pink dress, sitting in his blue chair at a walnut desk.

Jordan:

The reason that I wanted to have this little interaction is every single person that was listening to this if they engaged in that, had the ability to do that, and they have some picture in their mind. It's not going to be exactly the same as mine, it's not going to be exactly the same as yours. His mind it's not going to be exactly the same as yours, but it is going to be a picture in their mind of Dwayne Johnson sitting in a pink dress, in a blue chair, at a walnut desk, smiling right. Yeah.

Jordan:

You own your mind 100%, all the time.

Jordan:

All the time no one can look in there and see what's going on in there. Yeah, there's no peak holes.

Vanessa:

There are no peak holes.

Jordan:

And this nurse probably knows you can't look in the ears and see what somebody's thinking about. It's like the closest thing to a hole in your head the fact that you own your focus is the most empowering thing in the universe, because you can think about anyone any way that you choose to think about them, and you can activate within you the corresponding vibration and you can work your way into a vibrational match with your source and feel good.

Vanessa:

The way that your source sees that person.

Jordan:

Exactly and you just nailed it. When you're focused on a person in a way that your source is not focused on them, that's what makes you feel bad. When the infinite part of your consciousness sees the light in this person, knows they're the physical extension of infinite energy, knows what they truly are and knows that that attack came from a point of insecurity and pain and you choose to focus on them in a way that's different from the way that source is going to perceive them, which is always unconditional love.

Vanessa:

Because we're all source energy.

Jordan:

We're all source energy. We all have deep within infinite source energy. We are the physical projection of infinite source energy and that infinite source energy is always going to be projecting unconditional love toward that person. So the closer that you can match unconditional love, the closer you're going to be to your source. The closer you are to your source and your focus and your perspective, the better you're going to feel. And that's why, no matter who it is, no matter what the situation, there is a way that you can focus on that person. That's going to feel good, especially if you're operating inside of some of these frameworks of reminding yourself of your own intention and who you really are, reminding yourself of, who they really are, reminding yourself that every attack is from a point of insecurity and they're just feeling pain. If they're going to engage in that and having a little bit of compassion, that gets you closer to that unconditional love which frees you to feel better.

Jordan:

So, this last focus exercise of the one, two, three is what I would give a person who was like. I have a specific person that I'm dealing with in my workplace that is consistently showing up to me a certain way and it's very uncomfortable. How do I deal with that person? For the next two weeks, I want you to do an exercise.

Vanessa:

We call this vibrational anchoring.

Jordan:

We call this vibrational anchoring. This is really good and basically what I want you to do is just take every opportunity in physicality, whenever you're interacting with this person, to seek out and find things about them that you appreciate, that you can focus on in a way that make you feel good.

Vanessa:

Have you ever seen them smile? Have you ever heard them laugh? Think about those things.

Jordan:

Think about their jewelry Make those your vibrational anchors. Think about their clothing.

Vanessa:

Yeah, think about their family.

Jordan:

Think about their family, think about their hair. Think about anything about that person that you can really find and appreciate, and in the beginning this can be kind of hard.

Vanessa:

Sometimes I even think of people whenever they were a little kid.

Jordan:

That's a good one.

Vanessa:

And that helps me a lot, because then you can almost put yourself as the same age when you're a little kid and they're a little kid and you're just having a conversation, because when you go to a park there really a lot of times are no enemies with kids, they're just like kids, let's play.

:

It's freaking, brian again.

Vanessa:

Yeah, no, they're just all like so happy and joy filled. They're all playing together, so that's an exercise that works really well for me. Like here's them as a little kid.

Jordan:

Yeah, I actually love that. How can you?

Vanessa:

be mad at them now.

Jordan:

Yeah, so if you can do that, like if you can't find anything to appreciate in the moment, you can do imaginary exercises like that and you literally are going to use your imagination to craft a new version of this person in your mind. And if you do it as a practice, you're going to start seeing more and more and more and more about this person that you can appreciate.

Vanessa:

It is universal law. The law of attraction will bring you more of what you're focused on.

Jordan:

When you get into vibrational harmony with unconditional love and appreciation, then you're going to find more opportunities to do that. You'll also even find more opportunities to express that, express that appreciation of that person. And the more that you focus on it and the more that you express it, the more you're going to see of it in your reality.

Jordan:

So I'm going to hit this one, two, three real quick with the conclusion to my very beginning story which is I had this employer that was basically verbally assaulting me whenever I started working, you know, and I would be out of phone service and I would come back to these really nasty voicemails. So I came up with an exercise personally, because I was studying this vibrational stuff back then and I wasn't about to have a job where my life sucked every day. And the person I reported to was a total jerk to me.

:

Yeah.

Jordan:

Forever, Forever, so I found a handful of things that I really appreciated about that person, and for me it was their smile. They had a big beaming smile whenever they smiled. They also had a roaring laugh when they left. So I really honed in on that smile and that laugh and I saw a lot of instances where they really were trying to help people.

Jordan:

A lot of times they just felt really insecure about running the business or like what was going on the problems because ultimately they had to solve all the business problems at that level to make it safe for everyone down there.

Vanessa:

So they had a lot of weight on their shoulders.

Jordan:

They had a lot of weight on their shoulders. So I just saw them caring and I just saw them caring and I saw the smile and I saw the laughter and I just conditioned myself to not focus on that stuff at all. I know not everybody can do this, but I took it so extreme that if I saw a voicemail come in I would sort of peek at the content and if it was just an full on attack I wouldn't even listen to it, I would just delete it. I've received emails like that and if I see that it's just a full on attack, it's like you know what?

Jordan:

I don't even have to engage that delete, and some people might be like Jordan. That's crazy. You can't just like delete emails from your employer whenever they're attacking you. It's like, well, if it's just a full on attack and that's just the point of it, then I don't have to engage that you don't have the opportunity to attack me when I get to the office or someone else or someone else, it's all good.

Jordan:

Like it'll work itself out Within hours of really making that decision. Now, you do have to make that decision because otherwise you're just going to migrate back to the vibration that you've had going on, which is already active on the subject, which is already active around that person.

Vanessa:

That's why we call it vibrational anchoring, because you set your anchor there and every time that situation or that person or that topic comes up, you go back to where you set that anchor Totally, and people are vibrationally anchoring all the time. Yeah.

Jordan:

They're just not doing it intentionally, right, they're just letting the anchor fall where it falls and then they're saying I feel that way about that person because that's the way that person is. And it's like, actually that's the version of that person that you have in your mind. I bet let's just say that that person, one of these people, goes and takes their nephew out to lunch. Do you think that person is that way with their five-year-old nephew when they're out to lunch? Right, probably not.

Jordan:

You know what I mean so yeah, it's like they're not that way.

:

It's like.

Jordan:

That's the image that you have in your mind. So the intention here is to rebuild this person's identity in your mind. So before we get to the action component, the very final piece, I would say run one through three as many times as you can, and what we're looking for is create a new point of focus within this person's identity in your mind. You're going to create a new vibrational anchor and you're just going to keep compounding on it. Think about them smiling, thinking about them laughing, think about everything you can appreciate about them. Find everything that you can appreciate about them. Whenever something comes in, it's like this person was like this. Find everything that you can appreciate about them. Whenever something comes in, it's like this person was like this. Just be like thanks, but no thanks. I'm not engaging that. Disengage. Engage what you're anchoring, even whenever they show up as Tom Dickery, you know and they're just like being what they've been for the past couple weeks. Whatever, you have the ability to disassociate yourself from that version of them. Run yourself through this process and when you're done with the interaction, even if it was exactly the same as before, you can reorient and refocus. And what we're looking for here is to essentially rebuild the identity of the person in your own mind, and then you're going to run that through activation cycles.

Jordan:

An activation cycle is essentially a period of 17 seconds times four At least that's how I run it in my own mind. But essentially in 17 seconds that thought has enough energy in your mind to attract thoughts that are similar to it. So now just thoughts that are similar. Another 17 seconds you're going to now be moving in the direction of where you want to go. The third set of 17 seconds you're really starting to pick up momentum.

Jordan:

And the fourth set of 17 seconds roundabout. You'll find that there's sort of like these different thought loops that start to get activated and you start to go there. After 68 seconds the universe basically has a bead Think about like a tower with like a big red light on top, like bing, bing, bing. The universe now has a bead on your vibration, to where you're actually materially manifesting experiences that are in harmony with this new active vibration that you've got going on within you. So the more activation cycles you can run on the new identity, the more in harmony with that you're going to be. And whether this person changes or doesn't change, the remarkable thing is how they will start showing up differently to you.

Vanessa:

And that's only a little over a minute. Totally so you think about the requirement there like the work, the how-to. Like I have to focus intentionally for a little over a minute, that's really not that crazy and I think that's why a? Lot of people don't do it. One they don't know what to do, but two they think that sounds too easy.

Jordan:

Absolutely. And if you're in a situation where you're activating that, then you're giving yourself the gift of not going down one of those negative thought loops where you now are going to be experiencing pain for the next 30, 45 minutes an hour as you play that situation back in your mind again and again and again. And we all do this, we all do this All the time. If we don't check the vibration, then that vibration is active within you and you're just going to attract more thought and more momentum.

Vanessa:

And more manifestations, and more manifestations on that vibration.

Jordan:

So if you can take the opportunity to just be like you know what, Setting my anchor. Setting my anchor, I'm focused on this person in this way and I'm not going there right now. Yeah.

Jordan:

Then you're basically going to avoid those negative thought loops and you're going to be high vibing in your own mind. And now the universe must respond with experiences, ideas, thoughts that are in harmony with your vibration. It's just universal law. So you're giving yourself the gift, in all these scenarios, of vibrating in harmony with your own source. You're not making a notebook of all their positive qualities and giving it to them. It's not for them. Yeah.

Jordan:

They may be a dick the rest of their life. They may die, and at their funeral all these people are going to be talking about what a dick they were, you know. I mean just saying, I'm not saying that this person is going to change fundamentally, necessarily. But if you're not in vibrational harmony with that version of them, you'll be amazed how often that person will start to show up to you differently.

Vanessa:

Right, or they just won't show up at all. Like whenever you're in the same area as them, maybe they're in the bathroom, and then whenever they're back, you have to go to the bathroom. Or you're eating lunch and they're off doing rounds, or whatever it is. It's like you'll be amazed at how many times you just miss each other if you're not in vibrational harmony.

Jordan:

And so in my workplace example, that's exactly what happened to me. I just anchored in on this new version of them and then, I just found more and more and more to appreciate and more and more and more opportunities to see them in a way that was in harmony with my source. Right.

Jordan:

And really I'd say within hours, things were starting to soften, were starting to soften within days, a couple days. I was basically doing that sort of navigation of time where they would be in the office and I would be out of the office, or I would be in the office and they would be somewhere else, if we were in different vibrational places. But then when you guys did come together, but then, whenever we did come together, I got that version of them.

Jordan:

Wow, like the smiling, the smiling laughter caring, wow, like basically like I was brought into a whole different world almost, uh, around this person where it was just like who are you? You're so much different than you were whenever I first came on, and I remember that experience inherently because it completely transformed my work environment. I was able to work there for years and do really well and enjoy my life and enjoy you know working with this person and it all was stemmed originally from my point of focus.

Vanessa:

So this exercise works with everybody your spouse, your partner, your kids.

Jordan:

Yeah, not just in the workplace, yeah.

Vanessa:

Wherever you're at anytime you're engaging with other people.

Jordan:

Totally so. To wrap this up, I do want to give a number four, which is what happens when this has gotten just so bad that you've tried one through three for two weeks. Try one through three for at least two weeks before you go to number four. Okay, yeah.

Jordan:

Because, like I said, you'll be amazed at how this person will start to show up differently to you or these people. But if you do have to take action, do it in the frame of one, two, three, which is you basically want to tell that person something about your intention, right? And you want to use that framework that we talked about being able to see things the way that they see things, and you want to tell them a little bit about your focus on them and how you see them, right? So, say, someone just continues to attack you in the workplace. At some point, if one, two, three doesn't just clean up the vibration and clean up your world, you can put your foot down. But the way that you put your foot down is not fire with fire, not an attack back to an attack, but unconditional love back in this form. So essentially it would sound something like this hey, listen, I'm picking up what you're throwing down. I feel like you're angry with me. I've seen the passive aggression. I know I'm not unaware that you're unhappy with me and the things that I've said or done, but I just want you to know that it's never my intention to make you feel bad, like I never do anything in order to hurt you intentionally.

Jordan:

I'm a nurse. It's my job to ask questions and a lot of that is because I see a lot of value in the way that you think and your experience. You've been a lot, you're a lot longer than me and I see a lot of value in that and I want to learn from that. Also, it's literally my job to ask these questions, so I'm not asking them in a way that that's questioning the way that you're doing things. I just genuinely want to know what's going on and I really see you as someone who's awesome, who does your job really well, that cares, and at this point, if you've done this one through three for two weeks, you're going to have a really solid anchor on this person of all the things that you appreciate about them.

Vanessa:

You're going to have tons of ideas.

Jordan:

You're going to have tons of ideas. You're going to have tons of ideas. And when you lay a hammer like this, you lay that hammer. You don't softly do it, you lay that hammer, you lay that love. Hammer, you lay that love hammer baby Woo. My intention is only good here yeah.

Jordan:

And I can see how you do things and I can totally understand how you do them and why you do them, and I just want you to know that this is the way that I see you and I just want you to know that because I felt this I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt you.

Vanessa:

Exactly. I'm here very curious and not even just willing, but really wanting to learn from you. Yeah.

Jordan:

And if there's anything I ever do or say that activates something within you that makes you, like, want to be passive, aggressive or just aggressive or ignore me or snap at me, then I would really appreciate you just telling me honestly what that was, so that I can understand it better right if you do that, after two weeks of one, two, three, the buck is pretty much gonna stop there yeah because now this person's going to go.

Jordan:

Whoa, I've now like now I have awareness I've taken this to the point and they're like you said in the beginning they're not even aware that they're doing it, but now they're aware that. And maybe they're aware that they're doing it, but they're not even aware that they're doing it, but now they're aware that.

Vanessa:

And maybe they're aware that they're doing it, but they're not aware that you're aware that they're being passive aggressive. You just nailed it.

Jordan:

Yeah, totally so, it's like so once you do that and you just make it clear. I just want to make it clear that I know I can see that you're unhappy with me. I can see that. Like that I understand, like, like it's not my intention. Like I understand, like like it's not my intention. It's never my intention to do anything to hurt you or make you feel bad or make you feel insecure. It's not my intention here. I can see how you do things in the world and these are all the things about you that I really super appreciate.

Jordan:

I just want you to know that, like I'm on your team here.

Vanessa:

The light in me sees the light in you.

Jordan:

Namaste. And when you do that man like like, if you have to lay that hammer, sometimes you just have to lay that hammer. But if one, two, three didn't work for two weeks and then you lay that, then now it's all out in the air, it's all, it's all right there. Yeah. And now that person, more than likely with awareness brought to the situation, is going to respond, so hopefully that helps. I really appreciated this question.

Vanessa:

We've all dealt with that. Yeah, definitely it brought us a lot of clarity and we hope that it brings you a lot of clarity as well. It helps you feel better about the situation. So with that, we would love to send love and light to all.