The Vibration Fit Podcast
We are Jordan and Vanessa Buckingham, a conscious couple who love talking about how to train your vibration to attract the life you choose! For practical tips and implementable frameworks, visit VibrationFit.com where we bridge the woo-woo with the how-to.
The Vibration Fit Podcast
Episode 12: I’m Not Going to Punish Myself for Your Perspective
Summary:
In this heartfelt and hilarious episode, Jordan and Vanessa share a real-life airplane encounter that turned into a powerful vibrational breakthrough. What starts as a chaotic travel day with three kids and a grumpy passenger transforms into a deep reflection on emotional sovereignty, conscious parenting, and the law of allowing.
Vanessa reveals the moment she locked in a new life framework:
“I’m not going to punish myself—or my children—for someone else’s perspective.”
Together, they explore how to stay above the green line when others are triggered, how not to fall into defensive or reactive energy, and why your alignment matters more than anyone else’s approval.
Whether you're a parent, a people-pleaser, or simply navigating tough social interactions, this episode will remind you of your power to hold your vibration steady, choose your perspective consciously, and respond with love, not fear.
Key topics include:
- How to handle unsolicited judgment in public
- The trap of defending yourself against someone else's insecurity
- The three paths when someone attacks: defend, attack back, or stand in alignment
- Practicing the Art of Allowing in real-time
- Emotional growth and honoring the version of you you’ve become
Quote of the episode:
"You can’t say the right thing to the wrong person—and you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person."
Welcome to the Vibration Fit podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm Vanessa and I'm Jordan and today's podcast actually spurs from something that happened to us on an airplane from Park, already boarded with our three children, and I just remembered something funny from before we even got on the airplane. I looked at Jordan and I said so we have three seats on one side of the plane and we have one seat right next to that on the other side, across the aisle. And I asked him what do you think the configuration should be for this fight? And he just kind of laughed and he goes I think you should be on the side with the three seats, with all three of the children, and I should be alone on the other side.
Speaker 2:Enjoying my life.
Speaker 1:Enjoying my life, enjoying my flight by myself while you babysit all three of the children. Yeah, and what actually happened was I had our little infant and I sat with her on the side that just had the one seat, and Jordan sat on the other side with our other two children, and then our infant wanted him as well. Once we sat down Immediately, Immediately him as well once we sat down immediately, immediately.
Speaker 1:So a few minutes after he got our infant, he looks over at me and just starts bursting out laughing and he's like how did this?
Speaker 2:happen. How did I wind up on the side with all the children and you over there and she just looks back at me and goes can I have my book? So you actually got some like chill reading time. Now, in that scenario it actually does work out, because I love having all the kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like it was, like you got all the snuggles I got the anarchy Life was awesome.
Speaker 2:And the snuggles and all the things I like.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so. So that's the configuration. You can kind of picture what it looks like on the airplane. So there's Jordan on the aisle with our two children.
Speaker 2:Yeah, plane facing forward. I'm in three seats on the left-hand side Vanessa's on the aisle seat, just across the aisle.
Speaker 1:And so we have right next to him in the middle seat, is our 4-year-old, and then right next to her is our 6-year-old, and then right next to her is our six-year-old, and so they're all in a row and then he's holding our 12-month-old, and then there's me, like right across the aisle, so we're just sitting there and you know, it takes a while for the plane to actually get up in the air, from the time that you actually get to board. So we're sitting there for about half an hour and to the kids that feels like eternity. And we started traveling that morning. We woke up at 630 and then we were at breakfast by seven and we got all of our stuff packed and headed to the airport, drove an hour and so anyway, with all three of the kids, with all you've ever traveled with children.
Speaker 1:It's like insanity yeah, it's a lot the amount of stuff that's involved in that movement.
Speaker 2:We actually have some pictures of it that just kind of shows like the reality, because you have car seats and strollers and bags and just everything. Whenever you got littles, you've got you know a whole bunch of stuff. It.
Speaker 1:It's absurd. And the smaller the child, the more stuff it kind of inherently brings. It's because you need the carrier, you need the stroller.
Speaker 2:You need the car seat. You need to actually pack the car. The minivan has to be on the plane.
Speaker 1:And the what ifs. Like what if we have to go to the moon? Like what if we get to Utah and all of a sudden an opportunity comes for us to fly to the moon? Like we gotta be ready for that.
Speaker 2:Gotta be ready for a moon trip. What if she poops?
Speaker 1:On the moon. What if?
Speaker 2:she like super poops to the point that it goes on her outside the diaper. What if she super poops outside the diaper onto her own self and then it's on me? So I need an extra, so I need some extra clothes, otherwise I'm gonna be covered in poo oh yeah, from the super poo, and like I wish that was less frequent, like like that really was a joke, but that actually like with infants. If you've ever had an infant, it's not infrequent that you have like a super poo.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, even our oldest occasionally.
Speaker 2:Super poo on a plane.
Speaker 1:He's like I farted yeah.
Speaker 2:As my buddy AJ says, says never trust a fart truth.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying like you need a lot of stuff, you need a lot of stuff to be able to deal with like 10 000 different potential scenarios yeah, so in a nutshell, that's our life.
Speaker 1:So we were traveling with our three children for a week, and we went with some friends who also have three kids of their own that are the same ages as our three kids. So really, we've been traveling with six children for the last week, and this is kind of like the culmination of it. This is the end of the trip, this is our way home, and so we're sitting on this plane and our kids are just having a great time.
Speaker 2:They're living their best life.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they're having a really fun time they're laughing really loud and they're just playing with each other and enjoying the ride yeah, and we're definitely like we limit tablet time generally so like we're not just like, hey, you're in public, take a tablet so like they're actually engaged with each other, playing, goofing off being loud right.
Speaker 1:So they haven't. We haven't even broken out the tablets yet, like we haven't even taken off yeah you have to have some sort of arsenal while you're actually, like, stuck on the plane yeah, totally like thousands of feet in the air so we haven't brought out the tablets yet and the kids are just laughing and having fun and we're letting them because we want them to burn out that energy before we actually get in the air and people maybe go to sleep.
Speaker 1:So that's happening. And before we even take off, the woman who's sitting in front of you she doesn't really have a view of you because you're behind her seat but she turns around and faces me and she just starts in by saying you guys are the parents and your children are being extremely loud and you should do something.
Speaker 2:And then but this lady's spitting fire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's obviously very ticked off and she's a foreigner. She looks Caucasian, but I could tell that she had an accent. And so she starts talking about just how we're not doing anything and we're the parents and we're responsible for them, and they're just being very loud and they're basically interrupting her reading time because, she was reading a book and I said they're just laughing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're children.
Speaker 1:They're children, they're just laughing.
Speaker 2:They weren't even being bad, they were being. They were being like good right like like by most people's estimations, like a four-year-old and a six-year-old.
Speaker 1:Just happily giggling is good behavior you know, it's like definitely not bad behavior yeah, they're not hitting each other, they're not screaming bloody murder they're not kicking the back of the seat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're not doing any of the bad stuff.
Speaker 1:No, they were just laughing and playing and that really ticked her off because they weren't being silent and just sitting there. And I said they're just laughing. And then she went on to show me evidence. So she looked all around her and she was pointing to all the kids. She's like there's a kid, there's a kid, there's a kid. She's like they're all sitting quietly, they all have tablets in their faces. Don't you have a screen that you can shove in their face?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this lady was like ready. She was so mad she was very upset about us not sticking an iPad in both of our kids' faces immediately upon entering the plane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and all I said was they're just laughing and I said I'm sure they can find you another seat if you would like to sit somewhere else.
Speaker 2:I can relocate you.
Speaker 1:And she said well, she was like no, I don't want another seat. And then she just kept on talking. I honestly don't even remember what else she said from there. Because I came to this perspective, that really gave me a lot of freedom, because, as a conscious creator, a lot of times when we experience something at least you and I we always ask why were we in alignment with that thing? That's weird that I would have sat close to a nagging person on the plane that was obviously very unhappy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, most people that we encounter are pretty chill and they really like us and they like our kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we're just kind of floating through life enjoying all of the experiences. So when something like that comes up, we really pay attention and so a lot of that flight. I was just sitting there thinking about that experience and coming to this framework, which is I am not going to punish my children for your perspective. I thought that was so powerful further, because I've thought about it a lot more. Since then it's turned into which is the most powerful framework that you can apply it to.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to punish myself for your perspective yeah, that was huge and I was really proud of how you handled that on the plane yeah, so you're seeing it from a whole different point of view.
Speaker 1:Well, first off, like I am, completely oblivious, because I'm just like, yeah, I'm just over there having fun.
Speaker 2:So then, like I become aware of the situation, and you look at me and it was really funny because she was like nipping like a bulldog.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you looked at me and you were like she's complaining. I was like complaining. She's like, yeah, about the children laughing. It's like you just like made me aware of the situation and I was like would you like to switch seats?
Speaker 2:I don't mind if she complains, and you were like no, I'm good, but like it was that little interaction between the two of us, cause, you know, sometimes that actually happens too, where, like, one parent is kind of like chill about things but the other parent is like, oh my gosh, someone's now noticed that my children were giggling or my children are upsetting someone, so the other parent may be more like inclined to jump in and reprimand or whatever based on someone else's perspective.
Speaker 2:So, like I think, whatever she saw that little like micro culmination in our conversation about her perspective, I think she realized, oh wow, both of these parents neither of these parents are going to punish their children from my perspective, nor are were going to do anything based on what she thought we should be doing with our lives then she just went back to what she was doing and she left us alone.
Speaker 1:Obviously, and I've definitely been that person, because even as a child, my parents tell me they didn't really have to punish me. All they had to do was basically show that they were disappointed in something that I did, and that was enough. Like that really tore me apart. So I grew up really wanting to make people happy and make them comfortable and me not be a reason for them to be uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:And so even like at the beginning of parenthood, the same thing. And even now, like if I'm operating below the green line. Like you know, you can be around people and it's noticeable that they're uncomfortable with, like an action that the kids are doing.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Or maybe something that we're doing in public and it's almost second nature to change the way that you're showing up to make them comfortable.
Speaker 2:Yeah and so, yeah, it's like we're sort of conditioned that way in school or something. I don't really know where it happens, but I feel like it's wanting to fit in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know wanting to fit into the tribe.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like the tribe mentality, Because if you don't have that from like, if you go back to like hunter gathering society like you need to be part of the tribe to survive If you don't have the tribe, then you're alone with the bears and the wolves and you're probably not going to survive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you want to fit in, you want to make people want to be around you. So I feel like that's second nature to want to shift the way that you're acting or shift your behavior, shift your kids behavior, in order to be accepted by others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But it's not necessary.
Speaker 2:No, totally Well, and that's where some of the really powerful frameworks that we operate by come in to like everyday reality. And one of the biggest ones that we say all the time is that every attack is from a point of insecurity. Right, every attack is from a point of insecurity. And then I've actually taken that to other levels where I say the bigger the attack, the bigger the insecurity, right. But then ultimately, something that you brought up when we were discussing this is that you going on the defense does not soothe their insecurity, right, right.
Speaker 2:So have you ever had that experience where somebody did attack something like that and then maybe you start shuffling around to try to make them happy, like you try to do something, to be like, oh gosh, they've chosen a perspective that I should be doing something. Well, maybe I should go do something Right. And you kind of go that route or you defend why your children would be laughing, or you defend why your children would be rowdy. It's like, oh well, we're at the tail end of the trip and you know we've been traveling and everybody's tired and you know what I mean, right.
Speaker 2:Like people have a tendency to sort of go on the defense whenever they get attacked.
Speaker 1:Right and the issue is, and want to explain themselves. Yeah, Explain their background, explain their.
Speaker 2:Maybe, if they just understand me better, understand our day, understand like where we are. They would give us some grace, almost. Yeah, you know what I mean Like, but essentially, fundamentally, it comes down to how do I stop the attack? Right, right, and the reality is, the more you go on the defense, the more they generally do attack, and the big problem with every attack is from a point of insecurity. The big problem with going on defense is that there is no amount of defense that you can play to soothe their insecurity.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So you can play that game forever. In fact I'm sure everybody knows some couple or some whatever that they kind of operate that way.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's just sad because people can play that game for years Totally. But once you lock this in, like early on in our relationship, one of the things that you said was I never do or say anything intentionally to hurt you. That was like one of the things that you kind of locked into me really early.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I really believed you, and I still do. Ten years later, that's been validated. So it's really cool just knowing that, like you're not trying to put me on the defense ever. You know, what I mean. So for me that's a really comforting place to be in a relationship because, like, if you say something or do something and I take it the wrong way, I can instantly remind myself like Vanessa wouldn't do or say anything intentionally to hurt me.
Speaker 2:So if I'm taking it a certain way, she didn't mean it that way, that's for sure, because Vanessa's like way too sweet and nice and perfect for that. So I've been able to pretty much instantly quell any of those for the last 10 years, which is really good, so, but I feel like that's really healthy, but a lot of people don't have that because they don't have that fundamental understanding of every attack is from a point of insecurity.
Speaker 2:The bigger the attack, the bigger the insecurity. And going on the defense does not soothe someone's insecurity Right. And going on the defense does not soothe someone's insecurity Right. If anything, it amplifies it because it gives them an outlet to attack and no amount of attack is ever going to soften it Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they're dealing with their own thing internally. And it's funny that you lay it out that way, because that's exactly what was going through my brain whenever I was in that exact experience. I was listening to her, but inside all I kept thinking was this person is really hurt, like she's attacking me, but there's something in her that is not resolved. There's something in there that is causing her, like some sort of chronic thought patterns that are causing her to feel below the green line.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's probably not just hovering on the green line Like the vibe that I got was she was very below the green line.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so on that point, I had actually seen an interaction earlier on the plane. That point, I had actually seen an interaction earlier on the plane. She actually had a daughter as well who was on the opposite aisle and a dog and this dog was sitting on a pillow, like in its own seat.
Speaker 1:Really cute dog actually the kids loved the dog. Yeah, it was super, which is ironic.
Speaker 2:But a person walked by and looked at the daughter and just kind of I guess playfully said cats rule, dogs drool. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But then I saw how the daughter kind of took it, and the daughter was kind of like taken back by it, like I don't really know what to do with it, like why would somebody say that to me, kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do I say back?
Speaker 2:Yeah, then the guy just kind of like went back down the aisle and then the mom was talking to the daughter about the interaction and then the daughter's like trying to explain. He was like. He said cats rule, dogs drool, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what does that mean? Is the dog not supposed to be here, Like what Just?
Speaker 2:whatever goes down on that level. But what's interesting is, like you'd already seen, or I had already seen this like abrasive sort of like poke at an insecurity, potentially, and you never really know, like what they're dealing with, what they've got going on. So, like you said, whenever you see someone as oh wow, this is like insecurity coming out, this is pain coming out, this is them hurting coming out. Right then, you can go instantly into like compassion right rather than, rather than having to go on the attack back or go on the defense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the defense. I feel like the moment that you turn to the defense about anything you lose yeah, well and I— you lose your power and I like what just happened, like that little explanation kind of brought me some clarity of—.
Speaker 2:So you kind of have three positions right. One is you go on the defense if someone's attacking you. The second one is you go on the defense if someone's attacking you.
Speaker 2:The second one is you attack back like now you're barking at each other, right, but again, every attack is from a point of insecurity. So now she's activated an insecurity within you that you're now attacking back on, which obviously you didn't do in this scenario and you don't do. But there's this middle ground where you're now attacking back on, which obviously you didn't do in this scenario and you don't do.
Speaker 2:But there's this middle ground where you're not going backwards, you're not on the defense. I'm not trying to explain myself and my situation. I'm, nor am I punishing my children for your perspective. I'm also not attacking you back, like you're essentially just neutral which basically means I don't have to activate an insecurity within myself.
Speaker 2:Because you've activated an insecurity within yourself. I'm just going to stand firm in my ground and, like any good mother would do, give you some options. Yeah, you know well. You can either choose a better perspective or I'm sure they can find you another seat, lots of room on this airplane.
Speaker 1:And very accommodating staff. Yeah, they'll find you a seat. That probably comes with another screaming child, unfortunately. Yeah, bro, because that's where you're vibing. Oh, and I hear the screaming children.
Speaker 2:They were all over the plane.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean because, like when you hear kids, kids cry, it's always kind of like is that mine? Yeah is that mine? But then you realize, like mine are here, so there's one back there, there's a couple there or yeah, and they're like different pitches right only parents will get this. But, like you know, you can hear like that sounds like my adeline, but it's not that's not my adeline, but it's not. That's not my Adeline, that's another kid Close. That's an OPK, that's an other people's kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know. Yeah, we have an acronym for them OPKs, opks.
Speaker 2:So like you hear a cry, it's like OPKs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not mine, mine are good yeah.
Speaker 2:So I really feel like this was a powerful perspective shift. I really like the clarity that you got out of this. I'm glad we're capturing it here, because it really does point to the idea that you do have a choice and it kind of goes into one of these, one of these three paths. So and that's sort of the how-to here is, if you go on the defense, you're not going to soothe their insecurity, so you can basically guarantee a continued attack well, and I always think of it as like putting fuel to fuel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you're just fueling the fire exactly so.
Speaker 2:Like you go on the defense now, you're just giving them an outlet you, you go on the attack, you are activating your own insecurity, because every attack is from a point of insecurity. So now you've allowed them to activate an insecurity within you, right? Or there's just this neutral place where it's like I'm not going to go below the green line over your perspective. Right, yeah, and for me that's what it is go below the green line, over your perspective.
Speaker 1:right yeah, and for me that's what it is. The neutral stance is maintaining your above the green line vibration 100%. And the other two, the defense and the attack. Those are both operating below the green line, so nothing good is really going to come of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you may feel like your. Your feathers are ruffled in the moment Like, oh yeah, I did good. I attacked back. But really that's not an above the green line stance, that's more of like below the green line and like vengeance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a hundred percent. So your emotional state will show you the way yeah, and so, like there's one of the choice, one choice out of the three allows you to keep your vibe above the green line, your emotional state right and experience the scenario in a particular way, and that's the one where you're just like allowing them to be what they're going to be, but essentially not creating a scenario where you have to be impacted by their perspective right, I love that like I've like locked that in now yeah as I roll through life, because some people, whenever they see like you just being happy-go-l.
Speaker 1:Lucky, regardless of like what other people think, sometimes they kind of go the oh, you don't care, like what other people think or you don't know what I've been through you don't know what I've ever seen like situations like that play out, where you're like talking about how bad you have it and then somebody else is like oh yeah, well, think about this. And then they like lay down their life experience.
Speaker 2:Then it's like oh no and then the next person comes in and they're like oh yeah, well, let me one-up that yeah, and then, like, a stranger will join, like, like, I wasn't a part of this conversation, but I too am a victim, right? You know?
Speaker 1:yeah, and it's like all of a sudden cinderella comes in and it's like, oh yeah, yeah. Well, my mom and my dad died when I was a baby and I had a wicked stepmother.
Speaker 2:I lived in a tower and my only friends were mice.
Speaker 1:That's why it doesn't work because you, like, you try to defend yourself or, like, have excuses, and there's always going to be something out there that's worse than what you put out there absolutely and so is that what you want? You want to like, take all the bad and be like oh well, I'm a victim because of this yeah and then, like, have other things that you're attracting that are worse than that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just, it doesn't work, one of the frameworks that I've kind of had for a while, and I've heard successful people say it. It's basically like there's somebody who had it worse that did better right you know, I mean, there's somebody that, there's somebody out there that had it worse, that became more abundant or happy or you know, became something that they wanted to become, even though they were dealing with something difficult.
Speaker 1:Totally.
Speaker 2:So when you can just allow yourself to be you? And allow everybody else to be them, choose that neutral stance that keeps you above the green line whenever you encounter situations like this. I feel like that's where, like those positive feeling, emotional states are continued and perpetuated Totally Gives you permission to do it.
Speaker 1:That is the law of allowing, and that was another thing that was going through my mind on the plane was I'm going to maintain my alignment and this is the law of allowing. Like this is me actually experiencing the law of allowing.
Speaker 2:Allowing you to be you.
Speaker 1:Allowing you to be you, allowing me to be me, allowing, allowing you to be you, allowing you to be you, allowing me to be me, allowing my kids to be my kids and allowing myself to experience myself as the person that I am and to me, like after that, after I had that confrontation, I just sat there and, ironically, like I'd say, the feeling that was going through my veins was gratitude, because I just kept thinking like, wow, I'm really grateful for that experience because it showed me who I am. Because, like, I thought about who I was the decade previous and I was like, oh man, vanessa, 10 years ago I would have crumbled. Yeah, if I had a confrontation like that, I would have like lashed out at whoever was misbehaving that I was in charge of oh yeah, whether it was my kids, or like people I was babysitting or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you would have set them straight as a result of this person's perspective, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would have totally responded or reacted in response to what they were saying, but I kind of detached from the situation and just viewed all of these different versions of me and I was like, wow, I'm really grateful for this present current Vanessa, because I feel like I've become so much more resilient versus who I was 10 years ago. Yeah, absolutely, and this is like exactly who I wanted to become.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you were like sitting in that version of yourself. It's actually kind of funny because you dealt with it so well. But I remember the tail end of the conversation, like I said, I actually asked you. I was like, well, do you want to switch seats, because I don't care if she complains you know yeah.
Speaker 2:But you were like no, I'm good so. It's like even being so solid within yourself that you didn't need to move yourself to avoid the confrontation. You were like I'm going to sit right here, be me, and I'm good with me.
Speaker 1:Like that's super powerful and when you can come to that, when you can be in the circumstance because that's the hardest part of life right, like you're in these circumstances and they're in your face. Like our biggest one, I feel like, is our children, like they could be screaming in our face sometimes like it's right there, so you can't ignore it. It's like it's there, but the question is, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to respond?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just I felt like that was that was really incredible and critical moment for me. I was like, wow, I thank you universe. I literally sat there and I was like thank you universe for this experience that allowed me to experience myself as the vibrationally fit person that I am.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Well, without those experiences you can't really experience yourself as that we talk about that a lot. It's like know that I am this and that's the whole reason we come here to experience ourself as these incredible beings. But without the experience, how do you know?
Speaker 2:absolutely so, like essentially you think about, I believe I am this, but until you're in a situation where you get to be that and then you haven't known yourself as that yet and that's you know essentially what physical life's all about. Right, you get to experientially know yourself as that. Exactly, and one of the things that you and I talk about a lot is your principles have to be able to take weight right.
Speaker 2:So it's all well and good whenever you're kind of hashing this out over coffee with a friend. Like, oh, like, vibrational harmony with your desires is totally the path to happiness. Rock on, you know, like whatever. Like law of attraction and action. Baby Woo, I manifested that Like there's a lot of that funness.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But then whenever you get into real life situations where essentially your principles are taxed like they, they push against the principle. It has to be able to take weight and that's why these situations are so cool, because you literally got to experience yourself as this version of Vanessa. That's bad-ass, you know, that's this. That. That 10 year old version of yourself would be like damn, look at me on the airplane. You know, like I'm a boss, like that's this that, that 10 year old version of yourself would be like damn.
Speaker 1:Look at me on the airplane. You know like I'm a boss like, yeah, it's really cool, yeah, totally. No, it was really liberating and freeing, just to to see all the progress that I've made and also to realize I that I was really, I was really proud of myself, that I didn't punish myself for their perspective.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because I feel like, as parents and I know this example is high like it's really relying on, like parenting and everything, but you can apply it to any subject. What example, for that specific example, I was proud of myself for not punishing myself for like, well, that's your fault because you're the parent and you didn't step in like she said, and like, if you, like, are more structured, then they'd probably be sitting there like just facing forward, sitting on their butts, not anything. And if, like you, didn't make fun the forefront in your family, then maybe they would be more well-behaved so that other people would accept them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't you know, it's your job to make everyone around you happy. Hasn't society beat that into you enough.
Speaker 1:And in other cultures like we've experienced, like in Japan. It's so sad when you see that as the reality, like the kids really are struck, like they're really beat into this structure and beat into this just kind of like robot nature of going through existence, behaving and not standing out.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's the biggest thing in the culture that we saw is like you don't want to stand out, you want to fit in and you want to abide by all the rules, and so when these things come up, it's easy to like self, reflect, like all of this energy on ourselves and be like, oh, what does this mean about me? Like my kids are behaving this way, my husband's behaving this about me? Like my kids are behaving this way, or my husband's behaving this way, or my parents are behaving this?
Speaker 2:way. Oh man, that'd be a tough one. Oh man, if your husband had to be right with everyone in the world, it'd be a big problem. You are not.
Speaker 1:You are not built like that, thank god, because that just would not work yeah, so you can apply this to anything and I like in that moment I was just thinking I'm really proud of myself for not taking that inwardly and questioning all of these things about my own identity. What? What does this mean about myself?
Speaker 1:like my kids are being loud in a public space like this isn't you know, but you can do that to death with everything that somebody says like somebody can say something about your complexion or your hair or whatever it is the way that you're walking or your, your posture, whatever it is, and you can take that internally and that can become a chronic thought pattern that makes you feel insecure.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the big question is are you going to roll through life trying to create creates, a safe space for you, or is it actually better for you just to lock? In to your vibration, your connection to the infinite part of your consciousness and your emotional well-being, coming from within rather than without.
Speaker 1:And embody that truth in every interaction. One of the things that keeps going through my brain along these lines is you can't say the right thing to the wrong person and you can't say the wrong thing to the right person.
Speaker 2:Totally.
Speaker 1:And when you're in alignment, even if you're in one of those situations where you can't say the right thing to the wrong person. A lot of times I just stop talking and I know my truth. I'm embodying my truth. I'm not wavering from that. I'm staying in alignment. When you're in those situations with people where you feel like you can't say the wrong thing to the right person, then it's just so freeing. Yeah, it's like wow, I found my people.
Speaker 2:Like my vibe tribe. You're part of that. Yeah, exactly, and this goes back to essentially a beautiful relationship comes from two people that are independently responsible for their own emotional state. Right you know, based on their own perspective. So essentially I've actually had a lot of experiences in my life that were kind of funny, where I offended people. And it's because I'm unoffendable right? So somebody walking around and doing whatever is not going to offend me. I've been practicing the law of allowing for like quite some time.
Speaker 2:So that's, just a human being, a human doing whatever they're going to do so for the most part like somebody could literally say to my face like I think you're a big dumb idiot and I'm going to be like.
Speaker 1:I'm offended.
Speaker 2:Be like unoffended by that. You know. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So it's like that, that whole thing that was really popular, like the unapologetically right, yeah, yeah, just unapologetically you.
Speaker 2:But at the end of the day it's really just like when you aren't taking offense to other people around you and when you aren't looking for things in them intentionally that would piss you off or would bother you or whatever, and you just in that space where everybody's just choosing to be happy, and they're choosing to focus on the funnest thing and they're choosing to laugh and they're like they literally put themselves in a situation where they're there to have fun.
Speaker 2:You know, you're playing flip cup, or you're playing beer pong or like whatever back in the day, so long and short of it is. I think this new perspective that you locked in on the airplane is amazing. I absolutely love it.
Speaker 1:Me too. I actually use it a lot. Now, like I'm not going to punish myself for your perspective, or insert the blank. I'm not going to punish my husband for your perspective.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to punish my children for your perspective whatever it is, yeah, so I just I think it's amazing. I've definitely locked it in for myself and I'm going to be using it all week, so thank you very much Thanks for listening, sending love and light to all.