Vulgar Banter
Listen to your hosts, Angel and Eddie talk about Internet stories and current events, along with funny personal stories and sometimes even guests will help keep the VULGAR BANTER rolling for an hour of funny every week...with lots of swearing.
Vulgar Banter
HOOKERS ARE NOT CHEATING!
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In this episode we discuss the Documentary, THE REAL WOLF OF WALL STREET. Eddie and Angel both have some very funny Stupid News Stories and Angel has another AITA story. Have a listen...I bet you laugh.
Hello, hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Vulgar Banter. I'm Angel and this is Eddie.
SPEAKER_02Hello, everyone.
SPEAKER_05So we were gone last week.
SPEAKER_02We were sorry about that. Well, I had I had we, actually we, invested in some new equipment.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02To make everything funner, cooler, easier for us, more entertaining to our listeners. And so I wanted to use it. So we didn't have you know, it it came about the time that we would normally release the episode.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And we did not.
SPEAKER_05We were kind of like, we should just wait for the new stuff and like it's a little bit more.
SPEAKER_02Well, because I wanted to try it out, thought it would be really fun, thought it would be cool. I didn't.
SPEAKER_05We haven't touched it yet.
SPEAKER_02No. I mean I didn't take it all out of the box and touch everything.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but it's it's sitting on the kitchen counter right now. It looks really cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, a lot of there's a lot of cool stuff.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we haven't touched it.
SPEAKER_02I'll knew all kinds of cool stuff, but so you would think then, you know, I would have used that time to get to know how to use it, and I didn't. And we still still have not used it.
SPEAKER_05I mean, to be fair, you've been pretty busy like building a deck and stuff like that. Very busy. And then we had a celebration of life over the weekend. So that obviously, you know, takes priority.
SPEAKER_01Correct.
SPEAKER_02Alright. Anyway. So the barring the fact that I didn't do what I was supposed to and I fucked that up. We we did have a you know an episode already, Boogie, we knew what we were gonna talk about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We watched uh uh a very fucking cool documentary about uh The Wolf of Wall Street. And if anybody's watched the movie, The Wolf of Wall Street, it was awesome.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I I loved it.
SPEAKER_05Jordan Jordan Belford's life seemed pretty absurd.
SPEAKER_02Oh fuck yeah. I mean, the shit that these guys did and I mean, God, it was fucking funny. Uh a lot of the different drug references and stuff like that were all, you know, flashbacks of of youth.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Things like that. So I mean I it was it was a a really funny movie.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it made you like the dude, you know?
SPEAKER_05And it was supposed to. Right.
SPEAKER_02So uh when Angel said, Oh, there's this cool documentary on like the real Yeah, it's called The Real Wolf of Wall Street.
SPEAKER_05And immediately I saw, like, oh my god, this is a documentary about all that? Of course we need to fucking watch it and talk about it on the show. Right.
SPEAKER_02So, like, all these dudes that were portrayed in uh in in the movie were in this.
SPEAKER_05Yes, they were. And they told you, like, hi, I'm this person, this actor played me. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Well, except for the ones that, you know, like the one dude's dead, the one that was uh Yeah, there's some people that weren't in it, like Jordan Belford himself.
SPEAKER_05Well, that's because he's his number one bestie Danny. Yep. They refused to be in it, and then there's one guy that has since passed, so he wasn't in it.
SPEAKER_02Well, but the guy, his his partner, Danny, though, he has 100% admitted obviously everything they did was bad. I was a bad guy. Yeah, just felt so fucking guilty about all the shit that he'd done. That's why he wouldn't be on it.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02He couldn't face it because he felt so guilty about it.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02That ain't why Belford wasn't on it.
SPEAKER_05No, they were not in it for very opposite reasons, actually.
SPEAKER_02Belford wasn't in it because he was like, fuck that bullshit. I ain't owning up to this. You guys are making me look like a dick.
SPEAKER_05Yep, he's like, I already told my story. Have you seen The Wolf of Wall Street? Right. That's what I think happened.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he was just such a dick.
SPEAKER_05You find out in the documentary, it tells you basically like the parts that really did happen and the parts that like were exaggerated for either entertainment or to make Jordan look better than he really was.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because Jordan was a bad dude. I think he's a douchebag. He was very much so. And I don't think he's a good person.
SPEAKER_02He is not a good person, though.
SPEAKER_05And he was a scammer since he was a kid.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. So when they start out talking about the shit that he used to do, even from the time that they were like kids, they used to uh go along the beach and sell, they were called Italian icy's. Basically, it's the little white paper cone cup that you would use at a drinking fountain, and they put two little scoops of fucking flavored ice in it. That's it. This fucking douche back then used to even squeeze the bottom of the fucking cup so that he didn't have to get as much in it when he handed to these people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He was just forever trying to fuck somebody out of something so that he could get more.
SPEAKER_05So he could make a quick buck.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So the first episode, it's three episodes. Yeah, it's like a little docuseries. Yeah, it's a little mini-series. The first one goes, you know, goes through basically like the movie and stuff.
SPEAKER_05Gives you his background, how he got started in the stock market, kind of laying the foundation.
SPEAKER_02Like the movie, how it told how he went in and he started out selling these little penny stocks. He didn't know what any of it was.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. You know. He's like, okay, I'll sell it.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Most of that stuff they said was pretty spot on, pretty accurate.
SPEAKER_05The only difference though, I did notice in the movie, he makes it very like sound like I didn't know it was illegal at first, and in the documentary, they make it very clear he very much knew it was illegal by the time he started selling penny stocks.
SPEAKER_02Well, by the time by the time he started recruiting his own team, he knew goddamn well what he was fucking doing.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02He knew that shit was fucking illegal. Well, not illegal, they hadn't crossed any lines yet.
SPEAKER_05Right out the gate, yeah. They waited a little bit to start really committing.
SPEAKER_02They were fucking people over, but it was at such a small amount, it it never went to like a criminal investigation.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it was always went unnoticed.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So they made a lot of money following this little script that he had basically came up with.
SPEAKER_05He made this full fucking script where he's like, if they say this, you say it. That's what you say back. If they say this, that was very accurate in the movie. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and the guys that that were really in it, they started out the same way. They didn't really realize you know that what they were doing was illegal. They might have known that it wasn't the most honest fucking thing in the world.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. But none of them really realized that was actually just straight up illegal what they were doing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And some of those guys, I do believe that up till a certain point they did not realize what they were doing was illegal.
SPEAKER_02Sure, but they did start to realize it after a while. Every one of them did, and they all owned up to it. Yeah, fuck, we we at this point we knew what we were doing was fucking bad.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. They did also say that, like, for how aggressive they show them in the movie talking to these people trying to push these stocks, they were even worse in real life.
SPEAKER_02And the drugs.
SPEAKER_05And the drugs were worse than the biggest thing.
SPEAKER_02And the drugs for as belligerently as they flashed, as belligerently as they flashed those drugs around on the screen. Yeah. It was worse.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The the debauchery with the hookers was worse.
SPEAKER_05Significantly worse.
SPEAKER_02And and it y it doesn't seem like it would be, because the movie's pretty fucking bad.
SPEAKER_05Right. But they actually downplayed it for the movie.
SPEAKER_02Yes. At one point they were chucking midgets at fucking boards of Velcro.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Just just because they could.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh there was there was at one point. See, at these parties. Well, then we're getting ahead of ourselves. Right. Where the big money finally started really coming in was when he started his own company.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And they start they started out doing the penny stocks like everything else. But then they started doing IPOs, which was big money stuff. It's like when the company first comes out and it first comes public.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, initial public offering is what IPO stands for. So that's where they could like really hype up a fucking company.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02And sell their stocks that are worth fucking nothing.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02But they could really pump up that this this fucker's gonna go. It's huge. It's this.
SPEAKER_05This guy's gonna be the next big thing. You should really get in on his stuff.
SPEAKER_02Fuck yeah, and then so they buy all this. And then the stock price kind of, you know, goes up a little bit because they manipulate the fucking numbers with their own buying and selling of these stocks.
SPEAKER_05That was like the illegal part, I believe, was that they were very much controlling what each stock was going to do.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_05And that's a big no-no. You can't do that. You can't just like make sure that this is gonna crash when it does and not tell everybody.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so they they just start doing this at a rate that's just incredible. And they're they're really, really, really making as much money as is that movie fucking portrayed.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, all those luxury houses and cars and the crazy family vacations they did and all that's actually happening.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and as they're doing all this shit, like I said, the the stuff with the hookers and shit, that was it was as it was bad on the screen, but it was worse.
SPEAKER_05In real life.
SPEAKER_02In real life. And and apparently this guy's motto was hookers are not cheating.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that was not cheating.
SPEAKER_02Because I I'm just paying a professional for their services.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's no different.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02It's no different than paying someone for a massage.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, or a haircut. That's genuinely how.
SPEAKER_02Providing me a service.
SPEAKER_05Which, if that tells you anything about who this person is, I think that says a lot.
SPEAKER_02Because he was married.
SPEAKER_05Twice.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, to start with, he was married to this woman when he launched all this shit. After he made all this money and started his own company, all that, that's when he met the new girl.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02And it was at this party that him and all his fucking drugged out buddies were at. The scene in there where Jonah Hill. Now, Jonah Hill apparently is a uh is a mashup of a couple different people.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02That in the movie. He's not that person actually never really existed.
SPEAKER_05Right. He was a combination of like three issues. Different people, yes. So imagine that divided by three, and that's what was running around this place. And that's just his number one guy.
SPEAKER_02So the scene we're we're like I said, they've they've now made it, they've they've gone to these, you know, they're going to these big parties all the time, just fucked up, and to them, no one can ever stop them from doing anything. Uh all of the planes are set up in advance, there's drugs already on it, there's hookers already there, they've everything they want to do, they just get to do. No one tells them no. They just throw money at it, and people allow them to do it. Yes. Including walk across an open fucking floor full of people, dick out, jerking off, staring at a woman that walked into the fucking building. Really, really happened, and it was actually dude's the girlfriend that he winds up leading his wife for.
SPEAKER_05Which is what happens in the movie, too. It's the guy, it's the girl he ends up marrying.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that one was real.
SPEAKER_05The scene where he's like giving his big goodbye speech, that's apparently fake. But the scene where uh he crashes his car because he's on a whole bunch of Quaylutes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That was very much.
SPEAKER_02They said that was pretty much spot on. Uh but yeah, the well, the whole yacht scene.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02None of that happened.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Uh the investigate the investigator, he's like, this was me. This guy that played the investigator. That I I'm the person they were playing. Yeah. And I did not do that on his boat.
SPEAKER_02No, because he said I never even met him face to face until He was arrested. Yes.
SPEAKER_05Then that's when they met for the first time.
SPEAKER_02Yep. So anything beforehand, that that was just, you know, drama.
SPEAKER_05For the movie. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02When they told him, hey, you know, you're this is the deal you're gonna get, you're getting kicked out.
SPEAKER_05You gotta step away from your company.
SPEAKER_02Yep, you can't run this anymore. And he gives the big speech where it's like, they want me to leave.
unknownBut I'm not going!
SPEAKER_02All that kind of crap. Yeah, that never happened.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_02They told him he was fucked. He was like, uh, okay, and he left.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02And made a deal with the company, obviously, that I'm not really leaving.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You're gonna you're gonna pay me $180 million uh at a million dollars a month.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02After I leave. Oh, and by the way, I I'm still gonna just work behind the fucking curtain. I'm still gonna tell everyone what to do. Set up all these.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I'm still gonna tell everyone what to do, and they're still gonna listen to me. But my name won't be on it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So lay as the cops, again, now that they'd kicked him out, you know, uh, they they kind of started looking into how how is he getting this much money if he's not a part of the fucking business.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, how are they pulling that off?
SPEAKER_02So they figured that it just seemed a little bit odd. So they were paying a lot more attention to Stratton Oakmont, which was the name of the company that they'd started.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Started paying a lot more attention to them, knowing full well that he was still involved in and doing dirty shit. But they couldn't really like prove it yet until these fucking idiots opened up a brand new IPO on a teeny tiny little karate school. Like like a just something that you would see. I don't even know if there was two shops.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it was just like one location, super tiny.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And they open up an IPO on it at like huge fucking money.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And started pushing this as a big stock.
SPEAKER_05Which it was not.
SPEAKER_02Again, that's like, you know, I got this Al's pizzeria over here, and the IPO is going crazy. Uh how many locations do they got? One. But it's in a great location in the middle of nowhere. Right. Uh are you fucking kidding me? That drew red flags like crazy, and then the feds came down and just fucking smoked them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, they shut the whole company down. Everybody got kicked out. Oh, another one of the things that was different was like uh dude that plays the Punisher, John Bernthal. He plays this dude that used to be like he was an ex-hell's angel and shit like that. He was really a fucking tough guy. In the movie, him and Jonah Hill get into an argument over handing over the cash because this dude now is is there to start bringing cash over to Europe.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I think Sweden. Switzerland. Yeah, yeah, Switzerland.
SPEAKER_02Yep, to get laundered. And his wife is a Swiss citizen, so they can constantly go back and forth, and there's never been any issues. And in the movie, they're like taping all this money to her and shit like that. And they said, reality of it was is they put it in a fancy ass, really expensive fucking bag and carried it on, and nobody even questioned them.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So the the handoff scene in the movie, they get into an argument, Jonah Hill insults Dude's wife, he starts trying to kick his ass, the bag falls, all the money spills out, cops just happen upon them, and they wind up getting fucked. Uh, and then everybody starts squealing on each other. Now that part really happened. Once they started squealing on each other.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they did really start squealing on each other just immediately.
SPEAKER_02Yep. It was enough to get Belford arrested. Now, like I said in the movie, they fumble for the money, cops accidentally see it. Reality of it was is it was a lot stupider.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02These boobs picked a parking lot that had full fucking cameras all over in it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05And they came pulling in in the flashy cars. Or fancy fucking cars. The flashiest cars. One of them's wearing like the flashiest fucking outfit ever.
SPEAKER_02Just drawing all kinds of attention to the one gets out of the car, he's dressed in black like a fucking ninja, and it's like, guys.
SPEAKER_05The fuck are you doing here?
SPEAKER_02So it drew attention to the people that were sitting there watching the cameras. They called the cops. Cops looked at the footage and bam.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's how they got them.
SPEAKER_02So it was a little bit more boring than the exciting thing.
SPEAKER_05Than the fight scene in the parking lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So it was about the time that the the whole Lamborghini car crash thing started happening. His addiction started really getting out of fucking control.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, specifically the Quaaludes.
SPEAKER_02His his marriage started fucking up. She was really, really struggling with his, you know, dependency and his abusive behavior.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So when Dude got caught with the exchange and squealed, it was enough to get him arrested. And when he got arrested, they took him away. She booggied.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, she took off immediately. She's like, fuck yeah. Finally, I'm out of here.
SPEAKER_02She was like, I had no idea anything they were doing was illegal.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02I wasn't involved in any of this. I wasn't allowed at the fucking office. She's like, I think I was at the office twice in the whole fucking time they were married.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. And she's like, now looking back, I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. Oh, of course. Now we know why they kept me away. But yeah, she genuinely had no idea. She just knew that he was hella rich, fucking doing a lot of drugs, and started getting really mean. And she was like, you know what? This seems like it's headed in a bad direction. I kind of want to get out of here. And she just happened to get fucking lucky that he got taken away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Dude that the dude that got caught to start with, his name was Todd Garrett. And like I said, he squealed first, and they wound up using it to pinch Belford. Belford got brought in and immediately pleaded guilty and started squealing on everybody. He wore wires.
SPEAKER_05If you do this, we'll help you out. And he was like, fuck yeah, actually. He's like, I'm in.
SPEAKER_02Then there was a there was one other dude that as everybody around him started going down, he was like, and I don't remember which one he wasn't who played him in the movie, but it was one of the guys from the movie. When they found out that everybody else was getting pinched, he went to the cops.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And he was like, okay, listen. I know what's going on.
SPEAKER_05Yep, I know you guys are coming for me.
SPEAKER_02Yep, so I want to turn myself in before anything bad happens, and I want to start cooperating now.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So he's one of the only ones that actually didn't do any time.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because he just took care of it right away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Uh, but I mean it's not like he did great. He still lost fucking everything.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know.
SPEAKER_05You don't get to do what they did and not still face some consequences, even if it's no jail time.
SPEAKER_02All of them got like a bunch of fucking probation, which isn't all that fucking isn't all that tough, but the thing that killed them all and made them all really punished is none of you're allowed to do any of this ever again.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you can't go back in this industry what they were all completely barred from the industry after this.
SPEAKER_02So all they got to do afterwards is, you know, work at McDonald's, work at Home Depot, T-Mobile, T-Mobile, wherever the fuck they could get a job, because they weren't qualified for dick.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they did literally nothing other than that. So they had no skills to fall back on.
SPEAKER_02These guys basically were were everyone that got fucked uh by by Belford, he fucked literally everyone all around him.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02At by the time it was all done, 80 people from Stratton Oakmont got arrested. 80 fucking people got arrested from there.
SPEAKER_05They said it took years to get through all of the indictments. Yeah. Like it was just people that that was their full-time focus was going through the stuff at Stratton because it was just so much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So then this fucking dickhead, when it when it's all said and done, for the amount of money that he fucked people out of for how long? And I don't think they even investigated into any of this, but I'll guarantee you there was sexual trafficking going on in people being brought across fucking borders and stuff like that for sex, which is wildly illegal.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02So I guarantee you that shit was going on also.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, all kinds of human trafficking.
SPEAKER_02All that fucker got was four years. He served 22 months.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02They said it was because of the amount of cooperation that he he gave and the amount of people that they arrested because of his testimony. But those people that all got arrested were all doing. He brought him in.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. He they were all doing what he said. Yes. So what do you mean?
SPEAKER_02Just a fucking douche.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, granted, you can't feel bad for them. They knew what the fuck they were doing.
SPEAKER_05Right. But at the same time, it's just like he also he lured them in. Yeah, you did this fucking. He told all of them that it was fine at first, and then just waited till he got them in a precarious situation. Was like, alright, now you're in this. Yeah. And then he went and snitched on them.
SPEAKER_02By the way, if I get pinched, I'm gonna tell on all you.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02Just so you know.
SPEAKER_05And I'm gonna get punished less than you, probably.
SPEAKER_02No, he those him and his partner, they both wound up with four years. They both only serve 22 months. But I'll tell you the other guy, the other guy seemed to take all of it worse because he was more of a you know, kind of a business dude. He was more real. But not Dinkas.
SPEAKER_05They had to pay a bunch of money, and it just took so long because he was like, oh, I'm broke now, that they just ended up there was a time limit on it. That's passed. He owed still millions of dollars to his victims, and he never paid it.
SPEAKER_02110 million dollars in restitution is what he owed.
SPEAKER_05Yep. And he did he only pay ended up paying like two million dollars of it or some shit like that.
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't know exactly how much he paid, but it wasn't a ton.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The worst part about it is so when it when he goes to jail, he winds up in uh, you know, because again, it's a federal prison and he's rich.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02So he winds up going into what's not the worst part of the jail.
SPEAKER_05They basically said like what it showed in the movie where he's just like lollygagging all day. That was real.
SPEAKER_02Well, they put him in where like celebrities and shit are, and celebrities and stuff are generally, dependent upon their charges, separated from general population simply because they're celebrities. Somebody's gonna try to kill him. Yeah. So he winds up in. Jail in the jail cell with of all fucking people, Tommy fucking chomp. Yeah. From Cheech and Chomp. You know, and he tells the whole story and all that kind of shit to Tommy. And Tommy's like, you should write a book, man.
SPEAKER_05He's like, this is crazy. You're not lying to me. This is real. You should write a book.
SPEAKER_02So he talks him into writing this fucking book. So while he's in prison, this fucker starts writing a book. He gets out of jail, contacts a publishing company, they agree to fucking do the book, and this cocksucker immediately becomes famous again. Yeah. And they give him all kinds of fucking money.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02Then, almost immediately after that, they start talking to him about wanting to make fuck a movie out of this.
SPEAKER_05And Leonardo to fucking Caprio is the one that ends up playing him.
SPEAKER_02Everyone else involved in this story got fucked, and he wound up becoming even more famous. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Not as rich as he was, obviously, because much more famous and like and that's fueling his ego probably even more than the much.
SPEAKER_02He starts going around doing motivational speaking and all this kind of shit. He's all of a sudden a fucking celebrity again. Yep. Self-help. Keep in mind the 110 million dollars that he owes all these people, not paying back dick.
SPEAKER_05Nope, not at all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, when they when they started interviewing him, you know, uh for when he starts doing all this motivational speaking and stuff, they do show a couple of little like clips from some of the interviews. And as soon as they mention anything about anything bad that had come from any of this, he immediately gets pissy about I'm not going to talk about this. I'll just leave. Yep, I'm done.
SPEAKER_05We're not doing this. You're done. You're done saying that, or I'm leaving.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, just a dick. You can immediately tell this man's guilty.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. He's guilty and he d he doesn't want to admit that he's guilty. Because the other people, they're like, yeah, I'm guilty. I feel terrible.
SPEAKER_02Every other person they interviewed, you could tell they had genuine sorrow about the fact that they ruined people's lives.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02They all know it. Yep. They all feel like shit about it. You know, every one of them will say, obviously they got caught up in the fucking chest slap and bullshit that they did in the fucking movie, right?
SPEAKER_05And they're all on drugs. They're all on crazy amounts of drugs.
SPEAKER_02Also, every one of them that was done with this, they all wound up going through drug treatment and shit because they were so fucked up.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. Every single one of them. It was like severe, severe addictions that ruined the rest of their lives around it.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_05But And Jordan was like, ah, look at me. Look at Miss.
SPEAKER_02Every other one of them showed genuine remorse. Not him. No. He goes on and on, like, yeah, yeah, I'm still the greatest. Follow me, I'll tell you how to make money. I don't regret anything I did because what I did was was success.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. You know? Yeah. He absolutely just like, I don't regret anything, because that's what got me here today, guys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the man was a cocksucker. Yeah. Playing this. But the documentary was very good.
SPEAKER_05It was. And he absolutely refused to be in it. Everyone else was like, yeah, I'll hold up to what I did. I'll talk about it. And he was like, nope.
SPEAKER_02So if you get a chance, I do suggest watching it.
SPEAKER_05It's very good. Because the details of it that we didn't get into are fucking incredible. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Moving on.
SPEAKER_05I found a couple funny news stories. Um I figured we could read some of those and switch it up from some MIV assholes.
SPEAKER_01That sounds good.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so I have a few different news stories. The first few are not from around here, but there is one local to us. That's in Ham Lake.
SPEAKER_02Ham Lake? Right next to East Battle. That was where I was raised.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Yes, it's right next to where we currently are in identity.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_05Uh but the first one. Let's see, I don't think it says where this one took place. But the names are of a different language. The names here. Okay. So it says Yadara. And I'm not even gonna pretend to know the rest of the name, but uh, Garcia drew national attention after taking drastic action following the kidnapping of her husband by a criminal group. According to the reports, she abducted a close relative of the group's alleged leader, identified as his mother, and recorded a message demanding her husband's safe release in exchange. Her actions reportedly led to direct negotiations between parties involved.
SPEAKER_00Jesus fucking Christ!
SPEAKER_05Authorities later confirmed that both individuals were released unharmed. The incident illustrates the extreme measures some families may resort to when they feel immediate protection is unavailable. Security experts warn, however, that the retaliatory kidnappings can heighten the danger for everyone involved and to not do it.
SPEAKER_02Of course, you're not supposed to try to become the punisher.
SPEAKER_05But I just love that immediately she was like, You took my husband, I'm gonna steal your mom.
SPEAKER_02Fuck you, you do and my husband background. Kill your fucking mom!
SPEAKER_05You took up fucking around here! It took a whole ransom video and everything, and they immediately were like, oh fuck, we fucked with the wrong lady.
SPEAKER_02Your lady's strapped to a chair with that tape.
SPEAKER_05Yep, yep, and there's a picture of them after they were reunited.
SPEAKER_02Jesus, all I'm picturing is like, I'm telling you, you touch my fucking husband. One hair on his head.
SPEAKER_04Seriously.
SPEAKER_02I will tear your mother's fingernails out.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, she was not fucking around.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's fucking and that happened ten minutes south of us.
SPEAKER_05No, not this one. Not this one.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I thought you said that was in Ham Lake.
SPEAKER_05No, I said the other one was in Ham Lake. I said this one is not from around here.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05That would be really crazy if that was from around here.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm like. Holy shit!
SPEAKER_05No, the one around here is a lot less exciting than that. But that was just the first one that I had seen.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I thought you were leading with that one. No, no.
SPEAKER_05Okay. I should just do that one next, though. It's not as exciting. Get it out of the way. So there was a man that was arrested for a DUI, and he he decided to engage with the police officers.
SPEAKER_02And he's always smart. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05It says the defendant was allegedly clocked driving 88 miles per hour in a 65 mile per hour zone before pulling into a gas station. This was at like 3 15 a.m. And when they uh pulled him over it, he immediately got out of the car, and he just starts walking to the gas station ignoring them. And it says that um he just completely ignored them, and then he started yelling at them and saying that he was going into the gas station and he would not be stopped. So then a second deputy shows up.
SPEAKER_00I need my Red Bow and there ain't nothing you're gonna do to stop me.
SPEAKER_05Need a pack of cigarettes. Yeah. Um, it says when a second deputy arrived on the scene to assist, law enforcement attempted to detain uh Atrickson. That's his last name. Atrickson? Atrixon. I don't know exactly how to pronounce it. Doesn't matter. Right. They uh tried to put him in handcuffs to try to de-escalate the situation. And he apparently tensed his body and began in issuing verbal threats and shoved both of the officers into a vehicle nearby.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god. And then it's a two cops, he got two armed police officers jammed into their own car.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I don't know if it was theirs, or they just like pushed them into a car and like they crashed into it.
SPEAKER_02It's a Noka County finest right there, I'll tell you what.
SPEAKER_05But so then it says a significant physical scuffle quickly ensued.
SPEAKER_02Um I'm assuming this guy's white.
SPEAKER_05He's 24.
SPEAKER_02Otherwise, at this point, he'd already be dead.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_05And then it says, uh, during during the altercation, uh the perpetrator allegedly placed one of the deputies in a headlock and began strip striking him in the head with closed fists.
SPEAKER_00And the other cop did what? Laid there on their back and went, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um response to the escalating violence, um, the other deputy deployed his taser, which brought the man to the ground. While he was on the ground, the deploying deputy noticed a large knife and a sheath on his waistband. According to the body camera footage, it appeared that the defendant reached toward the knife. A deputy tried to take it all from him, like take the sheath, take the knife, all of it, and could only get the blade out. And then it says that this action inadvertently caused a deep laceration to the second deputy slang.
SPEAKER_02Jeez. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05And then it says law enforcement immediately threw the knife out of Reach, and then they were able to fully detain the man.
SPEAKER_02You know that fucker caught shit for that one.
SPEAKER_05Stabbed his partner.
SPEAKER_04It's like a scene out of a movie. He puts a cop in a headlock, gets tased, and then the other cop accidentally stabs his partner.
SPEAKER_02Uh I mean, I'm not trying, I'm not trying to dog on cops because they got a very, very, very fucking tough job.
SPEAKER_05But does it not remind you of 22 Jump Street? Oh. Or 21 Jump Street, either one of them.
SPEAKER_00Keystone cops. You know.
SPEAKER_05Reno 911.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_05Um, it says that obviously medical attention was required. One deputy received five stitches for the cut on his leg. Then the other deputy sustained an abrasion, deep bruising, and swelling to his right outer calf, reporting significant pain when he flexed the injured muscle.
SPEAKER_01Fuck.
SPEAKER_05And it says that uh following the arrest, the law enforcement spoke with the suspect's girlfriend, who reported that he'd been consuming whiskey at a wedding earlier that evening, noting that he be can become highly aggressive and angry when drinking. But so the part it says that he was court records revealed that the suspect was currently on probation for fourth degree criminal damage to property conviction.
SPEAKER_02I'm assuming alcohol related.
SPEAKER_05I would assume so as well.
SPEAKER_02Just the part that gets me, I understand the struggle and the accident and the accidental stabbing.
SPEAKER_05That's the part that I can. It's like you put in the title that he put him in a headlock, but you didn't note that one cop accidentally stabbed the We gotta leave that one buried in the article.
SPEAKER_02But but even that, I can I can see all of that because the burst of action, the immediate struggle, I get all that, but dude, he stuffed two cops, two armed cops into their own car.
SPEAKER_00Come on. What was going on there?
SPEAKER_02Why wasn't somebody pizing the shit out of this guy already? Oh, that's fucking crazy. That's the part that it's like dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun it. One guy falls down, the other one steps on his nuts.
SPEAKER_05Well, and then for the other chaos to follow after that, like he already pushed you both into be cold. Now he's got one of you in a headlock and made one of you stab the other.
SPEAKER_02I just don't get how this guy didn't get just lit up when he started attacking him.
SPEAKER_05And his mugshot, he's just kind of smirking.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like ha. Took two of them to get me in. I drew blood.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah. Yeah, apparently he was from Ham Lake and it happened like in Anoka.
SPEAKER_02Nice. Well, see, that one actually got a lot more conversation than the other one did.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh okay.
unknownOh, okay.
SPEAKER_05Um, I don't know where this one took place, but it's somewhere in the US. And it says, a man filed a motion for trial by combat in his custody battle, arguing arguing that it's never been banned in the US, and he challenged his ex-wife and her lawyer to a two versus one and asked for 12 weeks to forge his katana swords. Somehow the judge actually didn't instantly dismiss it.
SPEAKER_01So he thought it was gonna be cool.
SPEAKER_05I will fight you and your lawyer.
SPEAKER_02Give me time to forge my sword. Yeah, two against one, but I get to make my own sword. I don't want to do swords with you. I'm doing swords by myself.
SPEAKER_04I'm doing swords by myself. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to be gay with you and father.
SPEAKER_02Um that's from your highness, by the way. Anybody that's not seen that movie. Fantastic, funny movie.
SPEAKER_05Um, but uh so upon further research, it happened in Iowa.
SPEAKER_01No way.
SPEAKER_05And it says that he pointed out that uh the US and Iowa um constitutions do not specifically prohibit battling someone with a katana sword. A court sitting in equity is still prohibited from ordering such a thing.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_05So the court's not allowed to say, yeah, you can do that.
SPEAKER_02Right, because here's the thing, as soon as they say it's okay to, it violates a couple other laws.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02So that's why you can't. I'm gonna I'm gonna come over there and steal some weed.
SPEAKER_05Do it. So yeah, the judge, the judge's response basically said that uh he would not be issuing a decision anytime soon, citing irregularities in the filings from both sides. And then he did later order a psychological evaluation of the father requesting the battle.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so what I don't get is how you think telling the judge I am willing to kill my child's mother and her fucking lawyer so that I can keep my kids without paying child support. Yeah. That's basically what what I'm getting out of this. That's what he thought the judge was gonna side with him on is I don't think I should have to pay the child support, Your Honor. I think I should be able to battle her and kill her.
SPEAKER_05And then keep the children.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Then I mean, then I'm obviously the only parent left.
SPEAKER_05So Yeah, he actually filed that as a motion. Like he actually was, I would like to do trial by combat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, that's smart.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Okay, and then my last one, it's kind of on par. Not really, but it kind of reminds me of the whole Jordan Belford thing. But not really, just because there's lots of money involved here. This one, it takes place in Australia. It says in 2021, crypto.com owed an Australian customer a refund of $68.36. A company employee accidentally typed her account number into the payment amount field instead and sent her $10.47 million Australian dollars, which would be around $7.7 million US dollars. Say that so the woman uh So the company owed her a refund of $68, and instead they accidentally refunded her $10 million because the employee accidentally typed her account number into the amount payment instead of the amount. And the best part, the best part is nobody at the company noticed for seven months.
SPEAKER_02Oh, holy shit.
SPEAKER_05And it says by the time that they had caught the error in February 2022, that uh the lady they they sent it to, she'd moved fast already.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck, I would have too.
SPEAKER_05She transferred the bulk of the money to family members and then used $1.35 million dollars to buy a luxury five-bedroom mansion uh in Melbourne, which then she promptly transferred to her sister.
SPEAKER_02Smart lady.
SPEAKER_05And then the company sued her to recover the funds.
SPEAKER_02And she didn't have a penny.
SPEAKER_05It says a Victorian Supreme Court judge ruled that the mansion had to be sold with the proceeds returned to the company. The sister, who had not spent any of her money, cooperated. However, other family members had already spent their share, and that money was largely gone. It says that she was uh the lady that they sent this money to, she was charged with theft. In 2023, she was convicted and sentenced to 18 months of community community correction orders, no jail time.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. That's your fuck up. And if it took you that long to figure it out, that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm saying. I don't think she should have gotten anything.
SPEAKER_02You sent it to me. I didn't ask for any of this.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02You sent it to me. Right. Then you didn't say anything about it. When you transferred it into my account.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, I mean, was she being an asshole?
SPEAKER_05She should definitely say something like, hey, you guys just sent me like $10 million. But at the same time, I don't blame her for not. I don't blame her for not.
SPEAKER_02Her problem was that she stayed there. She should have taken all those millions and fucking left.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. The top comment though says, that should not be considered theft. If a company puts it in your count, it is a gift.
SPEAKER_02I would have looked at it as that too. I don't know. Maybe the guy was feeling generous that day. I don't know what to fucking tell you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I am not the guy to look a gift horse in the mouth. I just accepted it and moved on. By the way, I decided I wasn't going to live in Australia anymore. I am gone.
SPEAKER_05I have left. Yeah. But everyone's like, she knew she was doing something naughty. Of course she did. You can tell by the way she did stuff. Uh, so yeah, that was my big my big news stories.
SPEAKER_02I I found a couple stupid ones. Florida police chased down a loose emu wandering in Dade City. Police in Florida responded to an unusual call and ended up wrangling an escaped emu before coffee even had a chance to kick in. Good way to start out the day, I guess.
SPEAKER_05It reminds me of that episode of Animal Control.
SPEAKER_02That's a fucking funny show, by the way. Animal control. Alright, next. North Carolina woman wins $100,000 from her very first ever lottery ticket.
SPEAKER_05Fucking bitch.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I don't like her. July 27th. A North Carolina woman bought a scratch-off lottery ticket for the first time in her life and scored a hundred grand top prize.
SPEAKER_04That's very lucky.
SPEAKER_02She told officials she stopped for gas at Will's food store on Hickory Grove Road in Gastonia. And decided to buy a scratch-off lottery ticket for the first time. That one just caught my eye, she said. You know, apparently she liked how it looked. It looks pretty. I mean I'm not sure. That one's cool. I like that one. Why don't you just give me one of those? How many of you want? I don't know, just one, I guess.
SPEAKER_05One, I guess.
SPEAKER_02She goes, I didn't think I was looking at it right. Yeah, she said her prize money will go towards a new car and she's saving for school. Did I say how old she was?
SPEAKER_05I don't think you did.
SPEAKER_02No. So was this just a kid besides?
SPEAKER_05Just heard 18 like three years ago and it's like, I'll buy one.
SPEAKER_02I'm expecting it's some 40-year-old woman.
SPEAKER_05It's probably nice.
SPEAKER_02I've been 18 for six whole months, and I've been holding off to buy one until right now. Wouldn't you know it? I won! Fuck you, you little bitch.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Give it back. Yeah. Give it back.
SPEAKER_02Alright. Deputies responded to a break-in to find bear cubs ransacking a home.
SPEAKER_05Aww. Cute but terrifying.
SPEAKER_02July 27th. Sheriff's deputies in Colorado respond to a reported break-in and arrive to find the home still occupied by the culprits. A pair of bear cubs.
SPEAKER_04That's adorable.
SPEAKER_02Douglas County Sheriff's Office posted a video to social media showing the two bear cubs. Deputies found ransacking the inside of the Roxboro home and feasting on cat food. Yeah. The post said deputies arrived to the scene and discovered two non-traditional suspects. Two curious sibling bear cubs who had climbed through an open window to explore the house. So the alarm goes off, cops get called, they show up, and what the fuck? It's just bears. There's two little bears in here. Yeah, they told the people like, hey, now just obviously stay aware and close your fucking window. There are bear out here.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Don't leave your fucking window open.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Keep all your pet food inside. Apparently that's what drew them to it was there was food out there, but I don't know. I thought that was fucking funny. Alright, what do you got?
SPEAKER_05Okay. So I just found an am I the asshole? So this is more of a would I be the asshole. I haven't done anything yet, okay. I said, am I the asshole for not wanting to invite my dad on my bachelor party? I'm planning an out-of-state bachelor party that'll include about 15 guys, most being my close friends, as well as my brother and future brother in laws, who I all love very much being with. I don't have a bad relationship with my dad. In fact, he's a wonderful father, and I'm lucky to have been raised under him. But he is the most serious, non fun person ever. Spending time with him as an adult has felt like more of an obligation these days. I don't actually Enjoy doing things with him because he takes everything so seriously and is generally a depressed, although very accomplished, individual who never takes measures to better himself. I underwent therapy for like a year because I really grappled with the feeling of being burdened as though it was my responsibility to be an anchorness of happiness for him. It's taken me quite some time in practice to separate that, and I become better at accepting that I'm not responsible for his well-being, and I'm battling with that. And I now am suddenly finding myself questioning whether I should invite my dad to my bachelor party. Truthfully, I'm not really sure if I even really want to, but I know the guy would be heartbroken if I didn't. And who knows, maybe he'll perk up under different circumstances. Well the top comment says, Why would your father be at your bachelor party anyways?
SPEAKER_02Well, whoever that guy is a fucking idiot.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02I mean if you I've been to a bunch of fucking bachelor parties.
SPEAKER_05And the dads are there.
SPEAKER_02Not only are the dads there, a lot of the times, the wife's or the fiance's father is also there.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, the father-in-law is there.
SPEAKER_02At a lot of them. I'm not saying all of them. There's been I've been to other ones where there was no fucking, you know, no dad there at all.
SPEAKER_05But I thought it was like kind of a normal thing to at least for a portion or most of it have them there.
SPEAKER_02I would say it's more common than not.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. That's what I thought.
SPEAKER_02Unless you're literally having something with just your friends and you're like, you know, this is just my closest pals. There's 15 of us.
SPEAKER_05There's 15 and you can't invite your dad.
SPEAKER_02That's my point.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you have 15 people coming and you can't invite your dad.
SPEAKER_02I I think.
SPEAKER_05I agree. I feel like he would be an asshole. But a lot of the comments actually are saying the opposite. A lot of the comments are like, I've never heard of a parent going to a bachelor party.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. A lot of comments. They're like, you're not the asshole. That would be weird for you to invite him, anyways. Which I thought was crazy because I was like, I've been to bachelorette parties, and like moms are there, usually mother-in-laws are there, like sometimes fucking grandmas are there for parties.
SPEAKER_02Nobody's ever seen the fucking bachelorette party things where there's a little old woman with a dick hanging off her face. I mean, come on.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_05That's that's not that's I was I was genuinely shocked when I started reading these. I was like, what? Are we the weirdos for inviting them?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. It's not just us. I've been just like I said, quite a few were the the fathers, and the father of the bride is fucking there. So, yeah, I don't know. I guess unless these guys are just thinking, no, no, dude, bachelor parties, that's where you fuck the girls before you get married. Well, I I guess I've never been to them. So I know.
SPEAKER_05I've never been to a bachelorette party that was actually like that.
SPEAKER_02Maybe that's every frat brother answering immediately right there. So that's crazy, bro.
SPEAKER_05That's crazy. Ew, don't invite your dad.
SPEAKER_02Why why would you do that? Are you gonna fuck some chick in front of your dad?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, I've I was very surprised.
SPEAKER_02That kind of that does surprise me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So I guess we're according to the mass of the internet, like we're in the minority here, but I think he would be an asshole for not inviting his dad.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Especially if you're inviting your brothers and like your brother-in-laws.
SPEAKER_02Again, so if you're if you were inviting that many other people, uh yes, you straight up would be a dick for not inviting your dad. Yeah. And anybody in the comment row that thinks it would be normal to invite your brothers, uncles, cousins, nephews, and not your fucking dad, you're stupid too.
SPEAKER_05That's very true.
SPEAKER_02Again, if it's just a small group of your friends.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, if there's five of you and it's just your friends, fine.
SPEAKER_02I get that. But if you're gonna have a normal-sized bachelor party where you got a a group of dudes and you got some family members coming with your friend, I mean, if you're not friends with any of your family members, then sure, I guess all of this is different.
SPEAKER_05Right. But see, I guess by the sounds of it, they are because they're having their brother and their brother-in-laws come.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I I'm friends with my family. Yeah. So I guess to me, it would be weird. It would be wildly inappropriate to inv invite uncles and brothers and stuff and not invite your father.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That to me would be what's weird.
SPEAKER_05Fuck what the rest of the world is saying. It's our show. And we say, yes, you would be the asshole.
SPEAKER_02I agree. They would be the asshole.
SPEAKER_05Fuck them. It's our show. You would be the asshole.
SPEAKER_02And on that note, because it's our show, I say we stop right now.
SPEAKER_05We're done.
SPEAKER_02All right. Thank you everyone for listening.
SPEAKER_05Thank you all, and good night.
SPEAKER_02Good night.