Lilith, Invocations, and Allowances

Jennifer Taylor and Tava Baird reconnect in this heartfelt podcast episode, sharing personal experiences from recent weeks. The conversation transitions to Jennifer's work on 'Soul Songs' and a transformative invocation, emphasizing the importance of owning one's divinity and blessing oneself. They discuss the challenges of balancing self-care with religious and community obligations. Tava shares a powerful message from Samael on allowing self-worth and balance. They talk about the significance of Samael's hand gestures and their meanings, and their upcoming projects and events. The session ends with Jennifer's request and delivery of a self-forgiveness song, embodying the theme of accepting and embracing one's divine power.

Amnivara : Jenn's Music on Bandcamp 

Tava's Website for events

The Deck of Rebellion: Oracle of The Dae

Thank you joining us today, remember to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to keep up to date with your tribe.

Connect with your Hosts!

Tava Baird: tavabaird.com or https://darkflowerbooks.etsy.com.

Jennifer Taylor: Willow Ridge Reiki and Healing Arts https://www.willowridgereiki.com/

Transcript

Jennifer Taylor (2): [00:00:00] Hello, Jennifer Taylor. It has been way too long.

Oh, amen to that. Good morning, Tava Baird. 

Tava Baird: Oh boy. Has it been a wild ride these last couple of week? for those of you listening, you have had uninterrupted podcast service due to the fact that Jen is freaking amazing. He has been single handedly editing for like, I don't know, it feels like nine or 10 years at this point.

Um, while I flitted about the countryside from one pagan gathering to another, all through the second half of October and all of November during profit 

Jennifer Taylor (2): thing spread. Oh my 

Tava Baird: God. Samhain was very dynamic this year. There was the, uh, the ritual and the events at Greenhill Cemetery, Veil [00:01:00] walking. Then shortly after that there was Hallowed Homecoming and then two weeks after that there was Mystic Fire and so much has happened.

Thank you for keeping the home fires burning here at the podcast and making sure episodes got out while I was away from the microphone. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, my pleasure. You have been a busy bee. 

Tava Baird: We have both been busy bees. for those of you listening, you gotta hear there is so much cool stuff that has been generated.

Over the last, about a month and a half, a lot of these things were put together for some of these events, and now they're out there where you can enjoy them. Jenn, do you wanna talk a little bit about Soul Songs and Amnivara for a minute? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Uh, sure. Yeah, so that was, uh, has been a very recent thing. I think we've [00:02:00] actually even mentioned Soul songs on the podcast some, and touched on it here and there.

And I have brought through some, and it seemed like before it had been pretty much on the birthday of the person, and Tava was the first one that I did. And this song just came through me that I was told was their soul song. And then, you've heard us talk about that some on the podcast, but I remember hearing the way that the more Samael described what had been coming through, I was thinking it's not all that I know it is meant to be.

Like what he's saying is coming through in the Soul songs as I was bringing them through. And it was, had really been almost entirely something that I just did privately for people. I didn't really tell anybody about it. I didn't have it on the website. I still don't have it on the website yet.

 but then it started happening during sessions with people where I would be doing a session and all of a sudden it would be like, wait. [00:03:00] Record this, this is their soul song and share it. And then, one person who actually listens to the podcast as well was like, I really wanna give this as a gift to a good friend of mine.

Will you do this? And I thought, oh boy, this is a big step out there. I don't know. And so I was like, yes, I know that I'm meant to do this. Yes, I will do it. And, but I started thinking about it in the days when I was getting ready and preparing myself for doing it. I was thinking, I know the Soul Song thing is supposed to be more, and it's more than what Sam Ile has said.

The soul songs I brought through previously were, and I've also in this period of time, been really working with the messages from our guides and the things that Sam Ile was saying about, being an altar to our building, an altar to ourselves. And standing in our power and understanding our divinity and living our divinity and [00:04:00] accepting it and seeing it, which really goes all along with the stuff that Teva's been doing with all the Lili stuff.

And I've been feeling that coming in bigger and bigger and bigger, like recognizing. 'cause this was probably a year ago, Sam Iel said, I'm waiting for my blessing. When are you going to bless me? And. I've started changing the blessings that I give and that I do to where I am fully embodying who I am, like the fullness of the divinity, that is the aspect of the divine that I am, and then blessing things with that.

And so it just kept evolving of realizing that I need to be more fully and accept more fully the divine, aspect that I am. And as such, I started writing. I, or I just started like saying, and writing this invocation for the soul song for this person. And initially I wrote it as in [00:05:00] an asking like a, or a sort of a, may this be blah, blah, blah.

And then I thought, no, I am declaring that it is. And I went back and I changed it and I think I actually did some channeling. And then I came back and was like, no. And I changed all the wording to be this is what this is. And realizing that I needed to pull in that if I wanted the output to be different, I need to intentionally connect with and pull in exactly what I wanted to be in that song and that I had.

I had a right to have a say in what came through and that I could shape it. Which Sam, I has been saying for the last year. It was like, this is yours. You decide, you, you know, you decide. But it was, it's been really hard for me to own that, to feel like I have a right to decide. It's like, no, I follow the guidance of my guides.

I follow the things. And I feel like in the [00:06:00] last month I've started really recognizing what he was talking about and feeling comfortable with it. And it was the, I think it was the feeling comfortable with it that I just couldn't seem to, it was like I just couldn't seem to manage. And so when I did this, then I wrote, and actually, I don't know, do you think I should read the Yes.

The invitation? Yes, 

Tava Baird: yes, yes. Read it. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. So this is what I did. I just sat down and I really gotten myself in line with really feeling the, I have, you know, I have the right, not only the right, but this is what I'm supposed to be doing. My soul is incarnate to bring this through for a reason.

I'm not just a puppet for other aspects of the divine. And so I sat down and I said, Archangel Michael, Gabriel, and Elon of the ways. It is my intention to connect to and said the name of the person's highest emanation of her soul and [00:07:00] spirit. I bring through my voice, the vibrational patterns, the wisdom, the activations, the wholeness of the name of the person's highest self, the patterns, vibrations, frequencies, wisdom that remind her of her soul's purpose here on earth in this lifetime that awaken in her gifts, talents, abilities to manifest her soul's purpose in this incarnation on earth, the energies, frequencies, vibrations, patterns, and wisdom carried by and contained in this song, remind her of her divinity, her true self, and return her to the knowing and embodiment of her soul's truth and the wholeness, the brilliance, and the full man full majesty, that she is this soul song.

This song of her soul is an activation of her highest [00:08:00] potential, a remembering of her wholeness and a deep awakening to it on every level of her being. This is aligned with her highest good and greatest wellbeing, providing exactly what is supportive and beneficial to her soul's evolution and expression in this incarnation.

It contains as well frequencies of integration, ensuring it is received and integrated with grace and ease according to her highest good and greatest wellbeing. As her soul is ready for more and more of the fullness of its wisdom, more and more is released and integrated according to her highest good and greatest wellbeing, and the wisdom of her third heaven and higher guides who know her most intimately.

So, you know, kind of a big ask. 

I was like, go big or go home. Right? 

Tava Baird: Funny. 'cause as you're reading that Samuel, [00:09:00] there's almost what sounds like a sigh of relief. But he says, The student jumps ahead again, this reminds me of, we were talking about this not long ago, but at one point Samael was talking to you about different pieces of song were tied to things in nature and the elements, and then one day you were just like, boom, I've got all of ocean.

And he was like, okay, skipping forward to chapter 25. Like once you had those. Little pieces. And I thought it was funny 'cause you said, oh yeah, it's something I never finished. No, you just jumped all the middle lessons and you're rem like figured out what, where you were going before he even had to deliver anything else.

And it's a continuation, like you're just the a plus student. So I think 

Jennifer Taylor (2): it's a, it's such a good, that conversation that we had was such a good [00:10:00] reminder that if, I feel like it's worth mentioning to people that, you know, my, from my perspective, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves, and I definitely tend to be very hard on myself and very much of a perfectionist.

And I had looked at it as, Samuel Oil had laid out this incredible thing and had told me, to meditate on sand and salt and all of these different like, elements of things and bark and, to meditate on them and really feel and channel. And basically the song for each of them would come through and then I would dose them and I would, mix all of these different things into songs almost like in a prescriptive sort of way.

And create songs for people as healing and. So I had started that, and the song started coming so rapidly that I couldn't even keep track of them. 'cause initially I was supposed to record them, send them to you. He would, give us information about what it was. I would file it all away and this [00:11:00] system, and then I would use it.

But the song started coming so fast, like there's a backlog of things that I never even sent and then all of a sudden, yeah, we went to Mexico. I stood there and received waves and stuff. And then he was like, oh, she will not need much. You know, she won't need as much help now. And then was moving on.

But I'd seen that as something separate. Like I hadn't seen that I had jumped, I hadn't looked at it as, I had jumped to chapter 20. I had just gone, oh, it's another thing that here he gave me this beautiful thing to do and I just let it go and I didn't finish it. And you know, I should have finished it.

And then, but now I'm onto something else. And then here we're talking the other day and you're like, uh, no, you just skipped forward because you didn't need to learn the alphabet anymore. You were speaking into the words 

Tava Baird: you had or writing 

Jennifer Taylor (2): and reading 

words. 

Tava Baird: Exactly. You started thinking about sand and salt and the next thing you know, you were bringing through the entire beach, but there was such a leap therewhere he was just like, oh, okay.

 there's [00:12:00] this delight whenever you do this where you're like, I took this thing. And it wasn't really complete, but now I've built a skyscraper out of it, you know, and he's just like, he remembers, she remembers. I think he feels like he's doing his job there because, he's here to nudge us and then we go, and boy, once you get that nudge, you are off like a rocket.

And you're like, this is, look at all these things that I'm bringing through that weren't even on the kids' menu. He was handing you, you know? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. it was amazing. And so I, I set all of that and then I got up to, to sing the soul song, and I'm like, all right, let's see what happens. And this whole 15 minute, I think thing came through that was like, no, this is like a pre ignition, like so in reiki.

You tend to get this, they call it like a pre ignition or a pre attunement or something where it's an energetic healing thing that you get before you actually receive the [00:13:00] attunement to reiki because you need something to help to prepare your energy system and open it and make it more receptive and clear out more of the kind of interference before you receive it.

So it's a lot more effective when you receive it. And I got up to receive the soul song and it was like, oh no. And, and I realized then I was like, okay, yeah, I have way upped the ask in this. Because all of a sudden it was like, no, now you can't just receive the soul song. There's this whole like pre attunement kind of thing, this energetic transmission for preparation for the person to receive the soul song.

And so that was this whole thing. It was an entire energy session of, the turning upside down and all the various things. Oh my gosh. The singing and all the stuff. And then after that, then it was like, okay, now it's time to receive the soul song, which was, and in the past it was just these kind of short, melodic things that were maybe, uh, it may have only been 15 notes and the whole [00:14:00] thing maybe took 10 seconds to sing, and then it was just repeated.

I loved mine by the way. This was a 10 minute 

energetic process thing that brought through all that. So I sat down and was like, okay, so, um. You wanna tell me what you know? It's like kind of what just happened here. And, this is what I got. You danced the ways and opened spaces to allow deeper truths to be realized.

You called out to those with the knowledge to come and facilitate the transformation. You lived the transformation and rebirth and opened the birth canals for the information, for the re to be reborn within her. You did what was needed in bringing through the essence of her being. You forged a way forward and built structures to hold the way open.

They are there now and can be walked repeatedly, as way points to bring [00:15:00] through additional skills and information. Thorough affairs. It is good. You are guided as always. It is good. Do not fear your power. It is aligned with the highest good and purest,intentions. The way is open now. Do not fear it.

Do not shy away from it. It's so funny because they, I instantly, in my mind it was like, oh boy, this sounds really big. And then they instantly go into, do not fear it. Do not shy away from it. Do not be afraid, just keep going. It was this whole thing of just, you need to keep going and you need to celebrate it.

And so 

Tava Baird: welcome to Jennifer Taylor's energetic maternity ward. You're on floor three. Yeah. The way has been opened. Don't be afraid of it. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Exactly. Which I think is another interesting thing that tends to happen, isn't it? we decide to step up. We do step up when we do something. And then for me, there tends to be this, there's this brief moment [00:16:00] of awe and then there's the, holy crap.

I don't know, this is too big. could this really be so big? And then there's sort of a backpedaling for me of, like, wait a minute, wait a minute. This seems too big. Which is when I have to take myself into all the littlest stuff and SEC Met and all those that are like, come on now.

Like what have we been talking about? What have we been working on? Step back up to it. 

Tava Baird: Oh my gosh. Yeah. And you've had quite your 

Jennifer Taylor (2): bit of, uh, stuff coming up. 

Tava Baird: I have too. But before I get into it, you are talking of singing is making me want to hear you sing. Can we do a song real quick? Of course. Because, oh, I've missed this so much.

And then I'll dive a little bit into what's been going on with me and Samuel is literally just walking around the room going, you know what she needs to hear. 

 You talk about the divine comes through, you have the moment of awe and then you like backpedal when he [00:17:00] comes through.

It's like he's there. I have like this dude, I haven't finished the last thing yet, like I haven't finished the last thing yet. What's first and then he's off to the races. And ever since the work with Lilith started where I'm actually out in the community teaching Lilith. he's like, alright, now we're getting to what I've been trying to 

Get you to do for two years now we're doing, he was so off the charts at Mystic Fire because it was like his audience had arrived and now he had people to teach in the room with him. Except that I was the voice. 

 I felt like I was playing the telephone game where he would say something and I would say it to them and then they would ask a question and it was three solid days of channeling. It was wild. but gosh, let's, [00:18:00] could we have a song? And then I'm gonna dive a little bit into that and then I gotta read you this thing that he has told me to pass onto you because boy, is it topical based on what you just said.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh wow. Alright, 

well, I can't wait. Yeah, let's get to a song. Yay. Yeah. Now I know for sure if it, especially if it's related to the stuff I was just talking about. Remember I was telling you that on the way back from dropping, off at school, I was coming back and I was like, okay, talking to Samael and Michael and asking them to coordinate and decide,what needed to come through.

I'm like, well, I know Michael is definitely a part of this too, because he's gonna be like, 

will you please tell her? Exactly, 

Tava Baird: exactly. Be sure that she 

Jennifer Taylor (2): gets this part because she doesn't 

get it quite the same way from me. 

Tava Baird: Oh my goodness. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): All right, 

[00:19:00] [00:20:00] [00:21:00] [00:22:00] 

Tava Baird: Hey, wow. first of all, that was beautiful. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Thank you. 

Tava Baird: Second. so, those of you who have listened to the, Mystic Fire Podcast that [00:23:00] we did, I was recently at an event where I was teaching a three day intensive of an introduction to the Lithium Magic. Um, and it was the first time that all three of the introductory classes had been offered in one to the same group.

And we were all basically sleeping in the same building,and taking our meals together. And it was really intense work. And since the time 

 he has been giving me bits and fragments of things that are supposed to come next, but they seem unrelated. And just now as you were singing, three or four of them got all pulled together into one unit of how they're supposed to fit. Oh, wow. He had given me a title, calling it a Gathering of [00:24:00] owls.

 and now I know exactly what's supposed to happen in that lesson and how it works and how it connects to the first three pieces and how it starts to bridge into a deeper understanding of Lilithian magic. And I'm rem Okay. Before we started today, before Jen had to listen to me be all scattershot. I was like, these are 12 things that Sam's been talking about.

Which one do we wanna dive into? And now I'm realizing during the course of that song that like five of them are all one lesson. They're just different aspects of it. There is something about the way you sing that makes the puzzle pieces fit together in a way that nothing else does. I have been listening to him since I got [00:25:00] home and I thought he was giving me 30 different directives.

And now I'm realizing that the lesson he gave me on Liminal Spaces the other night and this title of a Gathering of Owls and all of this wing work he's been talking about, all of this is all connected to an initiatory event in Li Lithian Magic called The Fall. I have words for the ritual right here, came through with your song.

So, wow, I cannot thank you enough. And if it's possible, if you could just start singing now and give me about six straight hours, I think I can get all the rest of it in order. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I will be happy to sing for you anytime. 

Tava Baird: before we get into sort of the meat of this, uh, there's been a lot going on my end as well.

 first off, I mentioned those three different, gatherings, rituals that I was part of [00:26:00] over the last month. And I wanna let you know that Jen recorded specific channeled songs for each of them. In one case, she put together an entire Lilith album that we played during our rituals. We played, I had it running in the background quietly, under every single class.

 I literally had the phone I was streaming from and the speaker set behind the Lilith statue on the altar so that the music was coming right from her. And it ran. I just had my phone plugged into the wall and it ran constantly. we had your music going for three solid hours in the meditation hall for the main ritual.

We, I mean, it was everywhere. So guys, I don't know that she will promote this on her own because of who she is. You need to go to band camp and you [00:27:00] need to look up Omni Vara. And it starts with an A, not an O. help me make sure I'm spelling this correctly. A-M-N-I-V-A-R-A, not two R's, right?

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. 

Tava Baird: Look it up. You will see an entire Lilith album. You'll see, oh my God. There's this one song about place, oh, that I have just fallen in love with. You will see the four mirrors ritual song that we use in our introductory lessons to Li Lithian Magic. You will see the veil walking song that was played in the mausoleum on Halloween nights as all this beautiful pagan community came together to celebrate our connection to our ancestors.

And I am here to tell you, she's not charging nearly enough for it. We're talking like a couple books, a song, that [00:28:00] whole Lilith album. Oh my gosh. Just guys, treat yourself as you are running around this holiday season. Play it in your sacred spaces. Play it as you go to sleep, play it in your kitchen. It is beyond words and every time I listen, I have to choke back tears because of all of this that came out.

So please, please, please support our lovely friend, Jennifer Taylor, and support your own energetic balancing. Go to band camp and you can stream right from their site. It's Omni Var and that is all of Jen's music. Um. Other things that I have had going on. a lot of, you know, I came out with a Lilith based, entirely channeled from Sam Mayel Oracle Deck.

It's 

Jennifer Taylor (2): freaking amazing, amazing. I actually used the deck to help me with knowing the [00:29:00] direction to go for part of channeling that album. So, oh, I'm so delight. Fantastic. So, so good people. 

Tava Baird: I cannot tell you people have been sending me from all over. I mean, the deck's only been out, what, like a month or something?

Yeah. and I didn't write a little tiny book that fits in with the cards. I wrote a full on six inch by nine inch. Okay. Samuel wrote it. I wrote it down, to give credit where credit is due. I wrote a full on over a hundred page guidebook with all sorts of, information, full page writeup on each card.

 a ton of stuff including the introductory lesson, directly from Sam on the lithium demonic at the very beginning. if you are an Oracle deck or tarot junkie and you wanna take a look at it, it's on tva bear.com and it's also in my Etsy shop. Under, uh, the Etsy shop is called Dark Flower Books and Kart.

the thing that I wanted to [00:30:00] thank you all for is there have been tons of you who've been sending me pictures of your daily readings and getting to see the deck in action on your altars and on your kitchen tables and in front of you on the floor and just sending me readings. Does my heart so much Good.

Please keep them coming. I absolutely love it. there are so many that sometimes it takes me a while to respond to everybody, but I am seeing them and I, I love them. Um, I also have some new events and things that are coming up this winter. first off, the Dark Flower Collective, if you are in the sort of Winchester, Leesburg, Frederick Maryland area, this is a social group for Pagans of all Stripes.

We meet at the Blue Ball Inn, which I know we've talked about before. Um, usually about every six weeks or [00:31:00] so. You can register for a spot on my website. It's 15 bucks, which covers a donation to the Inn and our supplies. We're trying to make it accessible for, everybody that we can.but we are doing a Yue celebration and cookie exchange in December.

In January, we have a lesson on, changing energies in your home for the new year. And then I think it's in March, we're going on our first ever dark flower field trip to have an introduction to Druidry in Berryville, Virginia. And then in March we've been invited to go visit the Simple Life in Frederick, Maryland, which is.

Absolutely marvelous metaphysical shop up there that I'm teaching a lot at in the new year. And we're gonna be having a lesson on dream pillows and staining, which is a form of Scottish smoke cleansing up there. so [00:32:00] check that out. And I've posted these things on the Spiral Pathways site, on Discord, on Instagram, on Facebook, like wherever I can get to you all.

 there is also another event at the Mausoleum in, Martinsburg, West Virginia in March to celebrate, the season turning towards spring. On the first day of spring, we are hosting Underworld, which is a,Persephone and Hades experience, where we are turning that beautiful mausoleum with its fireplace and windows into Hades.

Feast tall. And yes, you can come dressed Greek. Yes, we will be doing, building a beautiful altar to Persephone and springtime and honoring the dead. There will be a gaming tournament. there will be food. It, it's gonna be a blast. And we are raising money to help preserve this beautiful cemetery.

So that's in March. there are [00:33:00] classes if you are interested in the Li Lithian magic classes, they are happening at both Blue Ball Inn and The Simple Life in Frederick, Maryland, all across the winter. And I will also be doing, there is a new pagan owned art gallery in Berryville, Virginia called The Galaxy of Happy Art.

I will be teaching a bone casting class there on January 4th. So all of these lovely events, just go to tva bear.com. You'll see a big old calendar there. You can click, there'll be more information, and we would love to see you out and about in the community. and, one more thing in for ble up at The Simple Life in Frederick, we are hosting the stores.

I'm hosting the store's first ever full Moon night to celebrate Imbu. And if you're a Spiral Pathways reader, it's also Alexander Scott's birthday. we're going to be making St. Bridget's crosses and corn husk alter dolls and talking all about vol. [00:34:00] Um, so lots of fun things to do this winter. Just because it's cold out doesn't mean you are cut off from community.

But if you only do one thing, Omni Var Band Camp, I'm not kidding folks, really, it's, it is playing 24 7 in my house. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Well, I very much appreciate that. That is very kind. And I have to say again, in, in terms of giving credit where credit is due, I said, alright, I will create all this music. Just, uh, have Sam Mayel tell me what tracks and who to channel.

And he gave me through Tava that thankfully gave me the list of, alright, like this is the name of the song, this is who to channel, this is the name of the song, this is who to channel. And so I was able to just, I would pull up my master list and go, okay, who wants to come through today? Alright, we're doing this one.

Tava Baird: There is a song on there that is Sam's song and it feels more energetically like [00:35:00] him than any piece of music I have ever encountered. It. it's literally, if he was a character in a movie and was coming in, it would be his theme song. it's just, it's breathtaking. so that's on there as well. And just really gorgeous stuff about Lilith.

Um, and four mirrors. Every time I do the four mirrors ritual, people just pry their way through it. with that music, it's very, very balancing and it allows you to set a lot down. And as we head towards 2026, I know we all have a lot of things to set down.

It feels like we've said a lot already, but I have a very, enthusiastic seraphim that wants me to read you this thing that came through the other night that is in line with what you were talking about. I think Jen. So, 

Jennifer Taylor (2): oh, I'm, pull it up here. [00:36:00] 

Whew. My face hurts from smiling. Good problem to have tonight.

It's, I'm like, 

oh, we're podcasting again. Where I like, I'm so happy tonight. Your 

Tava Baird: husband's gonna be like, why aren't you smiling? And you're gonna be like, I have pulled the muscle. I've pulled it 

Jennifer Taylor (2): that, or that's just gonna be stuck that way he is gonna be telling me. So like, oh, my day was terrible. And I have this big smile on my face.

Like my face is just stuck this way now. 

Tava Baird: Okay, here we go. Just claim this was one of those, I'm waking you up at two in the morning sessions from Sam. And so I was struggling to get it all down on a failing tablet that was next to my bed. so I wrote what he said in his words, but my words might, I might not think too good here.

Um, it's middle of [00:37:00] the night, but, if you can allow a little lax phrasing on my part, 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I think we could do that. 

Tava Baird: And I'm gonna try to get through this without tearing up at all. We've been having such a happy time, but maybe it'll give your face an opportunity to rest. So he woke me up with question, and the question was, what do you allow?

This question shook me to my foundations because somehow I'd never thought of it before, never been asked it before. What do you allow? The phrasing suggests much. First. It means I am in a position of power where I get to decide what air and what is not allowed. I think on that for a moment. I was raised in a society, in a family where I was taught that [00:38:00] everyone else's rules were what must be navigated.

I had to ask my parents, my teachers, and lawmakers for what was allowed when I often pushed. While I often pushed back against some societal norms. As I grew, I never really internalized that I had any power. Any gains I made were made quietly in the shadows. Even when I go out to teach in the Pagan community, or I'm advocating for equality, I always wait for the other shoe to drop.

At some point, I'll get noticed by those who make the rules and I'll have to hide again. The concept that I have the power to give permission have never really dawned on me. I've never really felt it on. What happens if I do not give my permission? I understand it from the side of the one who disobeys, [00:39:00] disapproval, withdrawal of favor, separation.

These things are used as punishment, physical blows, shame, humiliation. All of these things work 'cause of fear. I have spent my life as a caregiver, a people pleaser, the one who steps into act as a mediator to keep the peace. I avoid confrontation, I avoid tears. Oh, the things I've sacrificed in myself, the keep others happy.

Did they deserve to be made happy by you, Uumshallah, or had they just trained you well to fear their wrath? My stomach lurches at the thought, oh God, oh God. They trained me so well. I stopped questioning it at all when I was young. I had no recourse if someone denied me. Love, support, and attention.[00:40:00] 

Nowhere else to turn. All of my emotional support had to come from one parent. We moved constantly. My father was at sea or on duty. We never stayed near relatives or anyone else who might balance me. My existence hinged on the whims of one person, and it was a person whose emotions were none too stable, who felt they'd been denied safe harbors of their own.

And so I learned, keep the peace at all costs. Don't question it. Navigate the stormy sea as best you can. If you think about the unfairness of it, you'll drown. And so for more than 50 years, I swam in circles, getting no, getting nowhere doing it, even when it wasn't required. An automatic response, one so ingrained in me, but it became me.

What do [00:41:00] you allow? I have never lived in an equal state of energy. Even when it was offered, I played games in my head. To avoid it, you must stay vigilant. Your rebellion small or they will come for you with their punishment. But I've done things to deserve the punishment. If not, why am I this way? Don't think for peace.

What do you allow? Some part of me did recognize that people aren't meant to live this way. I fought for others to be raised in love. I worked with children and those with special needs. I threw all my energies into helping people find community. Why do they deserve it? And you don't? I don't know. I don't know.

The truth is I don't know any other way to be. And then after a brief time, [00:42:00] Samuel came in and this next part is all him. Let us begin again. Lilith has visited you. And what will you allow? Now Chala? Will you allow others to drain your energy, to replenish theirs? Or will you allow the opportunity for your relationships to become equal exchanges of gifts?

Will you allow distraction from the sacred work you have chosen to do? Will you allow the desperation to be loved, that was trained into you, to get in the way of your sleep, your preparation of holy food and the care of your body? Will you allow the stagnant energy of the disorder in your home to drain you?

Will you allow yourself to become a victim? Will you allow your habits to postpone making sound and compassionate choices for [00:43:00] yourself? Will you allow your fear of rejection prevent you from saying no? Will you allow yourself the same time and consideration you give others? Will you allow others to announce their desires without ever asking yours?

Will you allow the fear you carry to lie to you and tell you that its name is empathy? Where are the boundaries of your country? Who is sovereign there? And will this place of self stand or fall away? Will this gift of a question from Lilith bring you a graceful power or will you cast it aside in favor of habit and delusion?

What will you allow? Kindness is something you give once, um, shaah, but balance is something you can [00:44:00] teach and spread. It is sustainable. It gives everyone involved worth and power. Kindness has limits, whereas balance does not stop being only kind. Um, shaah start being balanced. Trust this will save many more than your attempts at simple kindness ever could.

Well, that's a 

Jennifer Taylor (2): heck of a way to wake up in the middle of the night. 

Tava Baird: Ah, that's what he wanted me to share with you. And I found it really interesting when you were talking about fear earlier. You know that worth, and you talking about I am deciding. [00:45:00] I am. I'm not going to let, just let things come through.

I'm going to say, this is what will be. And in the, I guess it's been two days since that happened, I am looking at everything and saying, what do I allow? And it's not just an allowing of, oh, I don't want people to take advantage of me. That's not it. It's also allowing grace to come through. It's allowing equality to come through.

I am so lucky, and I have so many dear, dear friends. An incredible husband. I have you, Jennifer Gerland. I mean, there's so many friends. I have like eight Jennifers that are like a coven of the most powerful people I know. And yes, I'm looking at you one in Philly, who I know is listening to [00:46:00] this.

Right? And I think of all the people who supported me at Hallowed Homecoming and Mystic Fire, I think of that huge community of pagans. We were stuffing ourselves into that mausoleum on Halloween night to celebrate together. I think of all the people that reach out, I have a tremendous amount of gifts being offered to me.

Holy Souls reaching out their hands and saying, let us work together. I have to allow them in. I have to be, I have to trust that I can say, I need a break. I need to go lie down. I need help. I don't allow myself to do that. And I drive myself into illness being that way. And it is habits. It's habits. I, I learned them.

I'm not gonna blame myself for [00:47:00] having them in the first place because they were habits I picked up in an effort to survive. But I need to take the time now, this winter to do the deep work of saying I am no longer in survival mode. The community of balance and ease and gratitude that I wished for with all my heart as a child is here.

It has arrived. I have a safe and happy home and safe and happy friends, and a fricking angel waking me up in the middle of the night who isn't going anywhere. When I first started talking to spirits and ancestors, I worried I had to do everything on their schedule because I was afraid they would leave if I didn't.

And was Irene Glass, I think I've mentioned this before, who said to me this was at fertile ground gathering [00:48:00] last May. He said if they would abandon you for that, then they're not worthy of your time. Had never heard to me the idea that somebody had to be worthy of my time, that there should be an equal exchange there and.

And, and maybe I'm alone in this, maybe these revelations are just new to me. I feel like there's a lot of us out there who have these same issues because I hear it over and over and over again. And I know that if I am to expand this work I am doing with Lilith and Wirth, and I have to keep walking through them and trust that I will pick up all of the information and deliver it.

 I'm gonna deliver it to the best of my ability. I mean, I'm [00:49:00] no angel, but I am doing my best. Um,

but what do we allow? I had someone write me last night and say she's at it again. I'm dealing with my drunk mother. And I was looking at all of the ways my friend works to hold everything together around her and how very little is given to her in return for her sacrifice. And Sam Miles's, right?

Kindness. You dole out over time. But it, there does come a breaking point for it because you give and someone else receives a balance. It's, it's that figure eight motion that Jen, you make when you're singing, when you're moving energies between or [00:50:00] conversing. Jen does this beautiful thing. Imagine an eternity symbol that is floating in the air between you and another, and you're tracing it with your open hand, right?

You're allowing energies to flow between you. When you give and you get back, then balance is sustainable and there is energy for more kindnesses to be generated. But just the giving from a cup can't go on for long. And that's why just simple kindness needs to be sustained by balance.

But to be able to do that, you have to be able to receive and sometimes receiving and be a lot more terrifying than reflexively giving up. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I can, I, I can [00:51:00] assure you, you're definitely not alone in the place that you were just describing and, I resonate with that and I know a lot of people do, and I realize how much energy is given from, myself as well.

And being the peacemaker. You know, being the peacemaker has been my number one role that I've taken on, for as long as I can remember. It's like, just sort of even things out that hyper vigilance of, if I can keep the issue from happening to begin with, then everything can be okay and I can feel safe and everybody else can, everything will work out okay.

And more and more I've been starting to go, what if I didn't? What if people had the response that they were gonna have and somebody else got mad and upset? I can still be here for the people that get upset, but I don't have to work so hard to try to prevent all of it, and the [00:52:00] preventing of it is making me ill.

 I think it takes on the role of taking responsibility for everyone's everything. Because there's that, and I think it's very much akin that hyper vigilance and taking on the responsibility of how everybody's gonna respond sounds very much like the way you were operating, as a kid where it's like, if I can just be aware, if I can see the warning signs early enough and I can do something to change it, then I can stop the avalanche when it's back at a snowflake or snowball and stop it from becoming this big thing and then I can survive it.

And I've lived like that in so many different aspects of my life for so long that it is so second nature that I, I don't know how to do it. And it's interesting, you were saying, you get sick from it and I, I've been analyzing that, for myself, my own, health with having rheumatoid arthritis, and then [00:53:00] also I'd gotten to the point where I'd taken so much of that responsibility for so many things that over, actually we were supposed to podcast last week, but we couldn't because I was still sick.

And it was interesting because I was so sick that I couldn't. I literally, I told her I didn't have the energy to chew. And so all I did was sip broth because I was so wiped out that I really genuinely could not muster the energy to chew. And I thought there was this, it was exhausting, and there was a relief in it.

And I realized when I started coming out of it, the whole house has continued to function without me. And if I could figure out, and as soon as I started feeling better, this pressure started coming in again. And this tightness and this tension and this brace in my body all the time. And I was [00:54:00] thinking, here it goes again.

And it's the same thing that you were talking about, really. And that it's like the intent trauma that calls me to be this way is long past, but I'm still living as though I'm in it. And, I have a wonderful loving husband. I have a wonderful family. I'm not in that ca same kind of situation anymore, but I'm still living that way.

And it was really interesting how being so sick taught me, showed me the difference between how I was when I was too sick to, to chew and. Then the level of weight and brace that came back into my body as soon as I thought, all right, I'm well enough that I need to take all, I need to pick up all this stuff again.

It's like I dropped it all by the bed and then it was like, all right, well now that you're up, you need to pile all this stuff back on and go back to trudging. And so I've been really thinking about that a lot. Like how [00:55:00] much do I need to just cut loose and say I can't carry it. It's not benefiting anything and let it be what it's gonna be.

And then coming into that space of holding the energy of compassion as opposed to doing that energy that lives in the front of our heart chakra. That if we can just hold things in that situation, hold that compassion energy in it and let it take care of whatever it needs to take care of.

And it's a, I don't have to fix it. I can just hold this space and allow for people to have their experiences allow for what needs to happen. that allowing is big. and I think I've been really thinking about really over the last, like two years, especially the why do healers get sick? When they start trying to step out they get this inspiration.

They know what they're supposed to do and they [00:56:00] start going, I'm gonna step out in the world and start sharing this. I'm gonna start sharing my gifts or whatever the thing is. my sister-in-law had said, do you see, 'cause she, all of her friends are healers, she said, do you notice that like, whenever anybody is really ready to, they're really stepping out to do something, they get some sort of major illness and it like knocks them back.

And I think a lot of that is that where our kind of internal governor is in allowing us to receive and allowing us to be that full aspect of our divinity. And when we start, I think when we start getting inspired and we start going, wait a minute, I can do this and I have a gift and I need to get out there and start sharing it.

That internal governor that says, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is not how [00:57:00] we do, that's not how we stay safe. this is one of my, hypotheses about what happens is that I think. That internal thing happens that goes, we need to shut this down. This isn't safe.

It's not safe to go. And it relies on all of those old false beliefs. All of those things that, that were probably true when they were created, but are not true anymore. And I think that's where there's so much work being done. It's like every big step forward, they say it's one step forward, two steps back.

It's really like this huge expansion of things will come through. And it is not, lost on me that I had this big thing I brought through the Soul song and the attunement for the Soul song, and also brought in an attunement to Omni Navarra and an entire album in three weeks. And all this stuff happened.

And then I, and I ne I very rarely get sick. It is really rare. And [00:58:00] I was, I mean, knocked out. it takes energy to bring this stuff through. Absolutely. 

Tava Baird: Absolutely. But I think there's 

Jennifer Taylor (2): probably another part of me that was like, you're gonna have to go back and process some of this stuff and get rid of more of those false beliefs because they can't both exist.

I can't be saying, yes, I have, I am. I am divine I am worthy enough to bring through this and to decide I'm bringing this through and still held the false beliefs that say that you're small and you shouldn't and it's not safe. all those things, one or the other has to go.

And it's interesting because I really noticed that every time I step out there, I know there's that, big expansion. Then there's like, alright. And now you gotta go get rid of the stuff that's gonna hold you down, that you cannot drag with you to get there.

Tava Baird: Absolutely. I mean, I think the line in what Samuel said that stuck with me the most is he was talking [00:59:00] about looking at, I think he said fear and then calling it empathy. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yes. 

Tava Baird: And there's so many times that I mean, I might be with a group of people, they didn't even ask for this. I say, okay, I've been channeling and teaching with you now for three hours.

I need a break for 15 minutes. And there are people in the group who are so excited about the information that what they do is follow me on the break. Right. And then I don't eat, I don't drink. 'cause I'm sitting and talking to them and it's wonderful to sit and talk to them, but I know. In my head, I know that I need that energetic break or I'm gonna end up with an AFib episode, right?

I'm not drinking. I'm not resting, I'm not eating, and there is something stuck in my brain that goes, no, no, push it. I was literally at Mystic Fire and [01:00:00] my dear friend Jennifer Gerland was following me around with glasses of water going, drink, drink. You need to drink. You need to drink. My entire student group was telling me to drink, and what was my reaction?

No, no, I'll do it later. Why would I not take a sip of water? They are literally all sitting right there where we're gonna be together all weekend. Nothing is going to be lost by me,hydrating myself. There are lovely people standing there, glass of water in hand. But I went, no. My first instinct is to deny myself, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

I was making the choice, the reactive choice, the habit of saying, no, I have no power. I am not worthy of a drink of water, even though I know it will do my body [01:01:00] good, and I am going to take on this self-sacrifice that nobody asked for. And I was probably doing it to be like, look what a dedicated teacher I am.

That isn't empathy, that isn't balance, that didn't allow me to do my job and communicate the information any better. It's some weird little tick some residual echo of something in childhood that made me say, let me put myself below you to the point where I would deny myself a drink of water to show you how devoted I am to your care first.

But in making those choices, in making stupid sacrifices in ways nobody asked for, I'm not be becoming a better person. I'm shortening the [01:02:00] lifespan in which I can go out and teach and get the information that needs to be gotten to people from San Lau. Right? And if there is some schmo out there who thinks I don't deserve a drink of water after teaching for three straight hours, they shouldn't be in class, right?

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. Really. 

Tava Baird: So logically I know it, but it's not even emotional. It's like this instinct, this response, this gut primal urge that I learned. Let me basically debase myself so that you don't see me as a threat. And if you don't see me as a threat, thenthe odds are thatpeace will be granted for this period of time.

Let me make myself so unthreatening that it will hopefully lead to peace, [01:03:00] because as a child, I had no other recourse, no other way to find peace, except for the approval of others who, those who were bigger and in had more power than I did. And I couldn't figure out the unpredictability of their emotions to be able to offer some sort of balance.

So it just became sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. And now it's to the point where no, ain't nobody asking for that. Like, nobody wants me to end up in my room having a heart issue because I didn't drink water. But look at the irrationality of that and look at how long term it's going to impact what I can offer.

The Morgan probably never walks forward and says, no, I'm not going to have a drink of water when I'm thirsty. Are you [01:04:00] kidding? She would smite anyone who suggested that Lilith would never do that. Walk forward in your power. Right? So this is a lot. What do you allow?

I have to allow love in, and I also have to allow for the fact, like you said, that the house kept running without me. Right? There are going to be glitches. Someone can't find the thing that they need or they get mildly irritated or who knows, maybe something does actually go wrong. But if I am always keeping the peace and they are never allowed to have a consequence for their own actions, all they learn is that I am there to serve them.

They don't learn what the world wants them to learn. If I pick up the phone every single [01:05:00] time, drunk mom calls and wants to yell at somebody. She never learns what it's like to not have someone pick up the phone and have her go, Ooh, I messed up this time. She won't ever have that thought of, perhaps I do need to do something differently.

Instead, it becomes, you are always there and we, can be there, like you said, be there with compassion after they fall, don't prevent the fall, or they learn nothing and you are in a place where you become unbalanced. here's the thing. I was a Montessori teacher for years. I know all this stuff in my head.

You don't run around and try to satisfy every single whim of every single child because otherwise they won't learn. If I pick up the food and put it into the child's mouth for their whole [01:06:00] life, they never learn how to use a fork in a knife. If I do it because of fear that they might stab or cut themselves, I couldn't.

I can apply this to others. I like to think I did so pretty successfully for several decades. Kids would come out of my classroom and I felt like their parents were happy. They were happy and well-rounded, and everybody would say, wow, look at all the things they're learning to do for themselves. But I can't apply it to my own life.

I can't let it sink in. And so I'm gonna have to go back the question, every single thing I do, is this something that I want the best version of myself to allow? Is this something that Samuels, um, Shaah would allow? Is this something that, the person who's running her own business would allow?

Is this something [01:07:00] that someone who is in a wonderful community of beautiful people would if I wouldn't allow it to happen to any of you, I cannot allow it to happen to myself. And it's time for me to get serious about that and not just keep paying it. Lip service. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. 

And I know that you are not alone and that I am not alone in that.

And all of you out there, we feel it. we're going through it too. And we can support each other in that, in saying, Hey, let's go ahead and, it's okay to set a boundary here and start doing that for ourselves and allowing on both sides, like both deciding what. What we will allow in terms of boundaries that keep the things out that aren't good for us and all, and keep in the energy that we need to [01:08:00] keep in to sustain.

And then also that form of allowing that I was talking about too, of allowing more goodness to come in because we are worthy of receiving it. Yes.I think it's maybe an Abraham Hicks thing where they were talking about we're walking around in the world. blessings are just raining down on us all the time and we're walking around with an umbrella and, I think of that when I think of how much are we allowing in, we need to just put the umbrella down, as soon as we stop doing the things that are just blocking those blessings and that grace and ease and the, energy and the inspiration and the goodness and the abundance to come through, it's not that we so much have to do something to make it happen, is that we have to just stop doing the things that are preventing it.

 I think it's an Abraham thing of basically if you have a cork and you [01:09:00] tie a string to it and it's, it'll just float on the surface and when you pull on that string and you pulled it underwater, you can keep it there. All we have to do is let go of the string and stop pulling ourselves down and we'll bounce right back.

 it's really that allowing I love that word so much because it's, an active thing, but it is not a go out and do and force something. It's just stop doing the stuff that blocks it and allow ourselves to receive. 

Tava Baird: a lot of it is rooted in the concept of shame. I'll give you an example.

So several weeks ago I moved my office around and I pulled out a bunch of tables and I had to do shelving. And this office that I'm podcasting in right now, um, it, it's, it's the size of a master bedroom. 'cause it is a master bedroom. Like it's, that's how big it is. I mean, it's not enormous, [01:10:00] but it has a lot going on in it.

There are things waiting to be shipped out. There's, you know, um, paperwork. There are spirit dice drawing in one place and pop its in another and filing that needs to be done. And lordy, the state of my altered. And when I left Hallowed Homecoming, I was thinking about the fact that I was gonna be in a couple of weeks, it was gonna be Thanksgiving and that I needed put order into my space.

And it had been a very dynamic, spooky season. So every flat surface in my house is covered with, and I'm at the point now where I'm like, Ugh, I have to clean. I have to organize, not just clean, but organize the entire house. And I'm sitting there at the table on the last day of Hallowed Homecoming and I said, yeah, I gotta go home and start putting things in order.

And there were three lovely [01:11:00] pagans sitting at the table with me and they said, we don't live that far from you. We'll come help. And my immediate thing was, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because the first thing you think is, oh God, don't let them see how the sausage is made. Right. Right. Don't let them see that I have been living out of a laundry basket for, since the beginning of time.

And that, I am wildly disorganized in this office and that my altar isn't perfectly dusted and oh God. 

 Like these were people who could easily set my office in order in under an hour.

And they were volunteering to do it. they just were willing to come help so that I didn't have to sit there and shake my head. And I was just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. That's really sweet. And I knew, it's thechildhood idea that I have to put forward a [01:12:00] face to the world.

That is organized, responsible, thinks of everything ahead of schedule. plus I have to keep myself somewhat attractive. I have to be timely, I have to be all of these things. God forbid I let someone see that during, a season where I am doing a major event every single weekend that, I have messy tables.

But there's that shame right 

Jennifer Taylor (2): there. 

Tava Baird: And that was something that I talked about a lot at Mystic Fire we are divine beings. Samuel says, no less than an angel, no less than a God, the Morgan does not worry about who sees her laundry basket, right? She's busy being the Morgan.

So this holiday season, I'm going to try to normalize living out of a laundry basket at [01:13:00] times and not having perfectly scrubbed counters and, having spirit dice drying on every flat surface and say I'm a divine being, trying to reach out and pass on a message, but I'm trying to do it with balance and a cherry on top of kindness.

On top of that. But I have to stop and think of in my domain what is allowed.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah, 

absolutely. And it's a good reminder for all of us. as you were talking, that I was thinking about messages that might be beneficial for others to hear too. Because I feel like, everything that happens with us privately pretty much ends up coming through and being something to share on the podcast as well.

 I think reading this for, you and our listeners might be [01:14:00] beneficial to hear 

this maybe gives usa different direction of this is how, the guides and the aspects of the divine that we're not maybe always seeing and hearing or viewing us and what they're wanting us to do. you know the reason they're saying, all this so much is because it's really encounter to the things that they see and hear.

 they have to immediately go straight into, it is good. you were guided. Yes, it is good. so to everyone out there as well, do not fear your power. It is aligned with the highest good and best intentions.

The way is open now. Do not fear it. Do not shy away from it. For fear of losing your way or ridicule. It is yours and yours alone. Only you, oh, only you can walk it. Only you can know it is right. Do not give over your [01:15:00] power to others seeking validation. The time has come to own your gifts. Own your power.

Own your abilities. Embody them. Take them. Whoops. Sorry, I've lost my spot. Alright. Embody them. Take them on as your mantle, wear them for the world to see. Do not be afraid. Do not tear or falter. It is yours, yours alone, to carry, to foster to birth again in this incarnation. 

 this is only the beginning more will come and quickly set time for it to come. Make way for it. Harold, its arrival. Honor it, it is you in its fuller form and I thought I really liked the I know. Set time for it to [01:16:00] come. Yes. Make a way for it, Harold. Its arrival. You know, I think so many times it's like, oh, things are coming.

Or like, oh good. You know? Yes I am. All these things. And we start to say that, but then there's the, we just continue. If we just continue with our busy lives and continue with things the way that they are, we're not making the space for something to come in. Yes. It's, I know a lot of times people talk about, if you want that partner to that person to come into your life make a space in your closet where they'll hang their stuff or that kind of thing.

 make the space for the things to come in that we want to have. Over and over It really,was like, do not give your power over to others. you are the only person who can bring through exactly what you are meant to bring through in this lifetime and be all of that.

And you don't get to be that. And the world doesn't get to experience that if we, play small and,disallow the things that would fill us up and allow the things that would [01:17:00] keep us down. 

Tava Baird: There's a card in the Oracle deck that says, consecrate your tools yourself. And I think about how, I was raised in a faith that told me I needed someone else to talk to the divine for me.

That they had to have, gone through special practices to be able to preach or hold the things that were on the altar. But Samuel like to say, an altar to Lilith is an altar to the self. When you're invoking her, you're invoking yourself. So if you say, I am worthy of building,my own altar and consecrating my own tools, but I am going to do it and invoke the divinity that is in me, that's a very powerful thing.

 one of the things that was really. Neat at Mystic Fires, we had an opening ritual [01:18:00] and each of the three path leaders stepped forward and said something. And I brought a bowl of bones, for everyone. And I said, the bones are here to remind you of a few things I know. I said, number one, these animals died wild and free, and you are also wild and free.

You get to choose what gets built. And I'm paraphrasing, of course, I said second, the bones are here to remind you that you too will die, but don't worry, you'll get over it.

You know? And, then we went on to talk about, the cycles of life and the returning to the self. And, I ended with something that Samuel loves to say, which is no one was born to kneel. we're not meant to go down in front of other beings and say, you hold all the power and I have none.

Instead, if we do any kneeling, [01:19:00] it is to bend down and offer power to those who are smaller than us, or who cannot rise on their own and then lift them up with us. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Absolutely. It's interesting that you said that because the other thing about the blessing and blessing, the things yourselves 

 I was going through and found in my phone where I had started writing, these blessings that came from exactly that place. And I'd started reading those and,really trying to do that and say things like this. for example, in the mornings anytime we eat, I fill the, food and drink with reiki and ask it, to clear it and purify it and bring it into alignment with my highest good and all these things.

And I started thinking, I need to start changing this. Instead of asking someone else to do this, I need to step into my divinity and offer and bless it myself. And [01:20:00] so, um, I'm going to read,two of the blessings that I had written that just really felt like it just poured outta me. I think this is another thing that might give people ideas of how you might go about.

 doing these things that we're talking about, which are so foreign to the way that we have probably all been raised in the society in which we live, that it can be hard to be like, wait, what? how would I even do that? So I'll read a couple of these and you can see what you think.

 being me, I am very long and wordy. Keith was like, wow, that's a lot to say. feel free to shorten this however you like any, So I am the all source itself and all of creation one with all that is. And from this knowing I bless this food and drink and bring it [01:21:00] into alignment with my highest health and wellbeing.

I bless this moment and all the moments in this life and send blessings through all of my bodies, aligning them with my divine blueprint of health, wellness, and vitality. I flow my blessings out into the world that I may be a blessing to all. And then this was another, just a bigger one. I am at once the divine experiencing itself as a unique and marvelous manifestation in human form and all that is.

My breath gives life to this incarnation. And as I breathe in, I breathe in the blessings of my ancestors, my guides, my soul, family, and all that wish me healthy, happy, and well. I breathe out my blessings to the [01:22:00] ancestors, guides and angels who bless me so richly and to all of creation that all may be blessed and awakened as they are ready to the awareness of their own divinity and the divine in all things.

May each breath I breathe, receive, and share these blessings throughout this and all my days. Amen. A ho. And so it is. 

Tava Baird: That is absolutely lovely. I love that. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Thank you. Absolutely. It's amazing what it does to, to read that or to say those things. just in the saying of it, you start to feel it and there's so many layers of that that are beneficial that, I highly recommend.

 take a little bit of time and think, what would my blessing, you know, what might my blessing be? How would I bless [01:23:00] something? How and what gets you into the place where you feel like. I am worthy of blessing things. what are those aspects that help you get into that place and feel it and start with saying those things and then everything just starts flowing and it feels so good.

I 

Tava Baird: family has a gesture, which he does often when he is invoking an entity that he can considers wholly or worthy of honor, a lot of times he does it while he's talking about Metatron, 

you'll share something on the podcast that he finds, particularly moving, and I didn't know what the gesture was. He would do this thing where he will touch his forehead three times and touch his lips three times. And I always thought it was one before the other, but then I started watching, and sometimes it's lips and then forehead, but it's always done with an [01:24:00] open hand and the fingers together, almost like in a salute.

There's this tapping that happens. And he has been working with me lately on meanings given to specific hand gestures. And let me see. I wrote it down here. He said that the taps to the forehead mean you have added to my knowledge, and the taps to the lips means I will add your words to my teachings. So if you've Oh, wow.

Said, and the number of taps, the three is significant because three signifies the concept of balance , a signal of that. So basically what he's doing, and also he talks about the thumb being a denoting of will 'cause the hand is [01:25:00] open. He is saying basically of free will. I am telling you, you have added to my knowledge you have, I will add your words to my teachings as we work in balance It is an acknowledgement of the blessing of your teaching and a statement of purpose that he will carry what he has learned from you forward.

So if he was simply adding it to his knowledge but wasn't going to pass it on, you would just get forehead. I, 

Jennifer Taylor (2): oh, that's fascinating. If it was, 

Tava Baird: isn't that cool? So I just thought, I'm like, what is he doing? He's tapping his face again. But each of these gestures that he uses has a meaning based on the position of the hands, the number of times that something is touched, and the location of the touch.

So there've [01:26:00] been several times when you have shared something like just now, when you shared that blessing, you started doing it and I saw you've added, to my knowledge, I will add your words to my teachings with open hand of free will. And it was the three taps of I will add it to the things that I pass things on energetically.

Jennifer Taylor (2): That is really cool. 

Tava Baird: But it's all without words. He might be talking about something else at the time, but he's also acknowledging. So when he, a lot of times he'll say, Metatron Metatron, Metatron, praise his holy name. And he's signaling Metatron always adds to his knowledge and that he will carry on teachings of Metatron walks forward in balance.

Jennifer Taylor (2): That's, isn't that cool? That that is really cool. And for those who can't see it, I think the only part we didn't describe about the motions is that the Palm is facing. kind of like a salute, but the palm is facing your face. Yes. Your, so it's like the finger, your tips on [01:27:00] your hand, that with your fingers together and your palm facing your face and touching the forehead.

Really, like at the third eye? Yes. Kind of. And then in the tap, tap the center of the chin. Tap, 

Tava Baird: tap, tap. Yeah. Right around the chin and the lips Right in that area. And sometimes he'll do it while he's talking, and then he lowers it a little bit because obviously he doesn't wanna obstruct what he's saying.

There are other times where he'll do it silently and it almost looks like he's blowing a little repetitive kiss, you know? But apparently it is. I will add your words to my teaching. And you have added, to my knowledge, the three signifies creation that he feels he is balance along with you. And the fact that the thumb is exposed in the holding of the hand means that he does this of his own free will.

Jennifer Taylor (2): I am so excited for all of this work that you're bringing through. I cannot tell you Tava has so many irons in the fire, that all of this work about learning [01:28:00] about all of these gestures and the, I believe you called it, said like the subtext that it gives to mm-hmm. Everything that is said. And just like this, like the addition of the understanding of what it really means when he's doing these gestures during the time that, we're talking and things happen in the podcast, but then all the different ways he's going to, or he is already showing you and that you're going to be bringing into manifestation ways to teach us things, along these lines as well is just, it's so exciting.

There is so much exciting stuff coming through. I just, there's so much just, I can just explode. It's so awesome. 

Tava Baird: Oh,on down the line I am absolutely certain that there's going to be a whole class that goes with gesture, 

How neat to be able to add subtext of gestures to the things that you're saying. I mean, wouldn't it be great to go on retreat and there's essentially your own little simple language that accompanies your [01:29:00] gestures when you are in ritual or when you are talking to someone and I'm like, what a neat thing.

 so yeah, this is one of the things that I'm working on right now is starting to learn the meanings of all of the hand positions and how they are utilized. it's neat stuff, but Oh, I'm so craving another song right now. Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel 

Jennifer Taylor (2): like it is song time again.

Tava Baird: It is song time again. So thank you so much for everything you shared today. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, you as well. And I'm always in awe of your just openness and, willingness to be vulnerable and real with all of us and for the benefit of everyone. And I'm really grateful for it. 

Tava Baird: Likewise to you. And thank you everybody who's listening, we so appreciate I had no idea that there would ever be this many listeners on this.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yes, it is amazing. It's, ugh. [01:30:00] 

Tava Baird: And we love, love, love to hear from you. It's so wonderful when we do. Yeah. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): And I'm hearing more and more of people finding out about us through, friends who are saying, you have to listen to this podcast. you would really love this. And I think that is the ultimate compliment, the idea that some, you got so much out of it that you're wanting to share it and you're sharing it with other people and they're getting things out of it.

I mean, it is just a dream come true. 

Tava Baird: Yeah. It's, it's, it was really funny to be teaching at some of these places I've been at over the last month and I'll talk about something and say, oh, and if you want more information on that. I think we did a podcast episode on it and somebody in the group will be like, season two episode 14, and I'm like, whoa, I don't know that.

And I do the podcast and somebody will be like, I just listened to it. So, thank you to all of you who know more about the podcast than [01:31:00] I do, and are what they used to say on Mystery Science Theater keeps circulating the tapes. Yeah. So you're circulating our tapes. We, greatly appreciate it.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yes, absolutely. Alright, well let's see what, what Michael has to bring through and, I realize I had been asking. No, I feel like, I'm getting the, weren't you just talking about, not asking and giving away your power? Maybe, choose your I habits hard. You know, maybe you choose it.

I was like, oh yeah, okay.

Tava Baird: can I make a request? Absolutely. we always ask Samuel what he wants. I'm going to make a request. Yeah. Would you mind seeing if somewhere floating around you is a song of forgiveness for ourselves? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, I like that. 

Tava Baird: we talk about all [01:32:00] the things we have to set down and all the habits we have to break.

Those things were put there because we needed them and they served us at that time. They got us to where we are now. And although we do need to work on changing, we shouldn't look back on them with shame because damnit, we survived. Right? That's a triumph that we don't often take time to celebrate. I would love a song of forgiveness for ourselves and the things that we had to do to endure and forgiveness for our current self.

And, and maybe just a little bit of we can do this. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And there is, I will, absolutely. There is, and I think we may have talked about this, the force of forgiveness as it flies in on the wings of grace and lifts off [01:33:00] of us. All the things that we are just done with, we're ready to let go of the stuff and the shame and all of that.

 all those things that we've been talking about And so I will absolutely call in the force of forgiveness and grace to let. Just take off those things and receive into the light to be transformed and transmuted, all those things that we are just sick of telling ourselves the things we're tired of, dragging around.

And, you know, the ways that we've just, you know, we've grown too much, we all know too much to keep carrying this stuff, to keep saying these things to ourselves and holding this shame. And so as I sing, go ahead and let yourself go. Yeah. I, I really am just done with this and so everyone [01:34:00] listening, go ahead and just let it come up to the surface.

Let it just shake off and up to the surface and be able to just be lifted away. And all it requires for you is a readiness to go. Yeah. Really, I'm just done with it. And let it all go and be willing and receive then that grace. I think there's definitely a reason that the force of forgiveness comes in on the wings of grace.

 receive all of the grace around that. So that, what a wonderful suggestion, and this is, I can't believe how many episodes are we on now? And that has never occurred to I, I think either one of us. So I love your suggestion. 

Tava Baird: No, I'm, I'm not going to allow shame to root in me anymore. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Amen.

Alright, let's sing. 

Tava Baird: [01:35:00] Alright.

Tava Baird: [01:36:00] [01:37:00] [01:38:00] [01:39:00] [01:40:00] Thank you for that good medicine. That was wonderful. I [01:41:00] have 

Jennifer Taylor (2): my pleasure. It felt great. 

Tava Baird: It's amazing. Those bowls in your voice. Chef's kiss, oh wait, let me do this with Samuel Way, 

Jennifer Taylor (2): tapping her chin and her forehead, 

Tava Baird: and speaking of him, I have some final words.

Invocation is a holy word. What does it sound like when you invoke yourself? Calling a lament, a lullaby, green battle. C cry stuck in the throat and never sounded prayer Poem, an echo of words whispered to a lover. Is it the small voice of a child crying alone, waiting for someone to hold them in safety and care?

Is it [01:42:00] words? Is it a song? Is it victorious? Ululation rising to the wide open skies? Are they sounds of praise? And do they invite the listener to look forward or back? A screech groan, a muttered expression or a sigh. A sigh. The breath released after being held too long, perhaps making way for the next intake pool.

Clear air. What will your last utterance be? Divine one before you stretch your wings and fall.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Wow. 

Tava Baird: It has been a day, It's so good to be back on this lovely, lovely [01:43:00] horse with you. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): It is wonderful. It's like home. 

Tava Baird: Yeah. And we are in December, which means, holy cow. It felt like we just started season two. And are we in season two or season three?

I think we're in season. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Uh, we might be in season three. 

Tava Baird: I dunno, once again there. I'm guarantee you that Ashley right now knows which season we're in. Ashley, you know which Ashley you are. she can usually quote episode numbers. I think we decided.

At the end of the calendar year, we switch seasons. Can you believe that we'll have a new season just around the corner? Probably not too long after this one, airs. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah, I can only imagine what it holds. I probably cannot imagine what it'll actually, I couldn't have imagined the last one 

Tava Baird: to us a year from now [01:44:00] where you are levitating and I'm not speaking at all, just gesturing wildly with a whole bunch of different fingers.

 that's when we finally start uploading all of our back stuff to YouTube. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah, it's like, well now you can't really hardly listen to it. I guess there will be songs, so, uh 

Tava Baird: oh. There definitely will 

Jennifer Taylor (2): be songs. There'll be song and gestures and, and movements. And speaking of movements, Tava and I are going to begin our explor, a deeper exploration of dance and movement, each week to helped us bring through even more teaching.

So I can't wait to have things like about all of that to share with you guys as well. 

Tava Baird: So much going on. Well, technically, I guess it's still autumn, but, happy winter. We have our first ice storm of the day outside here in Virginia. we hope you all are staying snugly warm. we'll see you next week.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yes. And feel free [01:45:00] to send us your invocations Yes. And your blessings that you have come up with. We would absolutely love to hear them, and Oh yes. If you're willing, we would be really happy to share them on the podcast for others to, um, be inspired as well. 

Tava Baird: Oh, that would be incredible. And, um, lovely poet.

I know you're going to hear this. I'm putting you at the top of the list for an invocation. Right. Is it bad that we're like calling out specific listeners today? We know you are out there. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): And your invocation doesn't have to be poetic. It can be just the raw acceptance of your divinity and your worth and how you, your unique blessing sounds, which everybody's is gonna sound totally different.

So I would love to get a variety from all of you to be able to share and give other people ideas of, [01:46:00] okay. Yeah. It doesn't have to just sound like what Jen said. 

Tava Baird: No, at at hallowed homecoming, one of the coolest moments was at the end of our Saturday night ritual. Um, I got to be there dressed as the Morgan and led to the community in a series of battle cries.

And there is nothing more powerful than standing with a whole room full of pagans at your back as they all scream into the night sky together. It was with a fire blazing in front of you. And, Lilith was tending the fire. It was, there's some power there. So, you know, maybe, maybe that's yours.

Maybe you have a battle cry to offer. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Indeed. Well, until we meet again, many blessings to all of you. 

Tava Baird: Absolutely. Be safe folks. We'll see you next week.