Hex Breaking and the Art of Letting Go

In this deeply practical — and unexpectedly healing — episode of Mystical Musings, Jennifer Taylor and Tava Baird begin what they think will be another exploration of “and/or” consciousness and multidimensional pathways… only to have the conversation completely redirected into an extensive discussion on hexbreaking, obsession, energetic entanglement, and the process of reclaiming the self.

Following a powerful energetic transmission involving stone circles, flutes, movement, and what Jenn describes as almost “martial” protective gestures, Tava brings through an extensive teaching around the unintentional effects of willfully sending negative energies towards another, which come call 'hexing.'

From there, the episode unfolds into a profound examination of:

• Hexes and energetic entanglement
• Why obsession strengthens energetic cords
• The hidden danger of continuously focusing on what we hate
• How repetitive anger and “venting spirals” can become self-perpetuating
• Why “anti-” movements often continue feeding the thing they oppose
• The energetic consequences of fixation
• How attention itself becomes a form of magic
• Why ignoring something can sometimes be the greatest reclaiming of power

Jenn beautifully expands the discussion beyond formal magical practice, pointing out that:

Where attention goes, energy flows.

The heart of the episode becomes an extensive 13-step “Hexbreaker” framework — a guide for recovering from emotional entanglement, heartbreak, obsession, spiritual imbalance, trauma spirals, and toxic energetic loops.

Topics include:

• Retreating from constant digital noise
• Taking intentional breaks from social media and overstimulation
• Creating environmental change to signal new beginnings
• Rearranging physical space to support emotional healing
• Gentle reconnection with trusted people
• Introducing new ideas, books, art, and experiences
• The healing power of laughter
• Travel as energetic reorientation
• The importance of touch, embodiment, and physical care
• Guardians and guides in dream states and liminal spaces
• Cord-cutting, freezer spells, and how timing changes their energetic impact
• Therapy, EMDR, mindfulness, support groups, and psychiatric care
• Renaming, reconsecration, and becoming someone new
• Building what Samael calls:

“A temple to the self.”

The episode closes by returning once again to a recurring phrase that has become central to this season:

“Hope is the strongest magic.”

And fittingly, Jenn ends the episode with her channeled piece:
Consecration of an Altar to Hope.

Please remember this podcast is for inspiration, reflection, and entertainment only, and is not medical, psychological, or professional advice.

We are two friends sharing personal experiences and evolving perspectives as we learn and grow. This is not a substitute for your own discernment, inner wisdom, or qualified professional guidance.

Take what resonates, trust your intuition, and seek licensed support when needed, always honoring your own inner knowing and personal truth.

Thank you joining us today, you are a valued member of our tribe!  If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider telling your friends and sharing it on social media.  We would greatly appreciate your support in helping us reach others and spread our messages of worth, openness and exploration. 

Connect with your Hosts!

Tava Baird:   tavabaird.com or https://darkflowerbooks.etsy.com.

Jennifer Taylor:  Amnivara (previously Willow Ridge Reiki and Healing Arts)           https://www.Amnivara.com/

Transcript

Hex Breaking and the Art of Letting Go

Jennifer Taylor: [00:00:00] Good morning, Tava Baird. Good morning, 

Tava Baird: Jennifer Taylor. Now you all know which one is not the singer of the duo, right? 

Jennifer Taylor: And welcome again to another episode of Mystical Musings, and I'm excited to see if we actually have an opportunity to dive more into the "or" and "and" from last week, or if there is, more from, Samael and Michael for us to ponder today that takes precedence.

Tava Baird: Yes. Let's see what comes through. Bring that funky music, Jenn Taylor. 

Jennifer Taylor: All right. And I will just go ahead and let- Please ... everybody know from here on out I am going to have the stone circle set up, so just, you know, be ready. Know if there are long pauses, that's because there's a whole lot of energy work going on 

that I'm not being [00:01:00] told to make sound during that time. And, you should probably never drive during this part. So. There's 

Tava Baird: a whole lot of shaking going on. All right. 

Jennifer Taylor: All right. Let's see what we have today. Ooh, I'm so excited.

[00:02:00] [00:03:00] [00:04:00] [00:05:00] Ohm.

Tava Baird: Whoa, give me just a moment, please. This is not and/or- ... but it's- Right ahead ... another one of our steps things. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh. Yeah, take your time.

Tava Baird: Okay. There is a very good chance that we are going to have to put a definite adults only label on this episode. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh my. Watching your face as you were [00:06:00] writing that was absolutely hilarious. And I have to say, if I- If my voice sounded a little bit off, it's because, in that song and movement, I felt like it was like jazzercise.

Like I was- Ah ... uh, my ar- I was, like, moving and swinging my arms and up and down and all over the place. I was like, "Oh, my gracious, I feel like I should be, uh, leading a jazzercise class." As, but I was like, boy, the energy of this is way different. I think we have changed topics. 

Tava Baird (2): Oh, my God. Okay, hang on. Uh, hold on one more thing here.

Okay. All right, 

folks. So, so I was thinking that we were going to dive into the "and" and the "or," which apparently is another lesson in dimensions and demonics and all [00:07:00] sorts of Lilithian lovely things that I love. But apparently the topic has changed. Um, and I'm just gonna read you what I've got.

Now, here's what I think there, we're at, because I have two very full pages. I'm not sure that I've got everything on the list. Jenn, I might need you to sing again to make sure, because you stopped singing toward the end of the list, and I think stuff started to get muddy again. Sure. You know how we have our episode about dealing with unethical demonic practitioners and this 10 steps to sovereignty with Samael and and Lilith.

And we have an episode we did recently that was talking about how to care for yourself should you time slip, and there were, I think, nine items in there that Samael was talking about. He is talking about hex breaking all of the sudden, and energetic movement, and there is a list coming out at the [00:08:00] end of this.

So let me dive in. Um, here we go. "Let us speak. What is it you are trying to reach ? This question should be the first one asked whenever energy is moved by your will. What is called magic can be defined as the willful movement of energy towards an intention." Side note, me, not him, right? a lot of people, that's basically what magic sort of is.

And you might not have the exact same definition. But I've been in a lot of spaces where this is a definition that a lot of practitioners can use, whether they define themselves as witches or magicians or energy healers. The idea that you are moving energy with intention, You are bringing something through [00:09:00] And delivering it, you are helping something to dissipate.

You are helping someone to slice through a barrier that they want sliced through. This is all being done by moving energy with intention. When we do the power of story, we are opening up the gates and allowing we are being conduits for the power and will of Michael and Samael to come down and deliver information to places where it might not otherwise be heard, 

So we're creating that space through our will and intention and organizing the event. So back to what he said. so I'll repeat the last sentence. "What is called magic can be defined as the willful movement of energy towards an intention. And as you are energy, you send a piece of you. [00:10:00] I wish to address what many in your community call hex .

Do you realize that should you perform this action, you are, in essence, tying yourself to your subject, bonding further, an ill-advised action to be certain. In doing it, you will not be free. You will bind yourself in obsession. And so let us return to what is it you are trying to reach? Is it freedom? Is it peace?

Is it balance, love, hope, or opportunity? Or are you so deep in your own prison that you wish to give the one holding the other end of the rope during your spell power over you?" [00:11:00] And then he starts going into the list of things to do instead. 

This is a really interesting topic to me because I see this all the time. People will reach out to me and say, "I want my ex out of my life. I want this person I don't like out of my life. I wanna send them something negative." And what Samael is telling you here is in doing that, you are not releasing yourself at all.

You are instead sending a piece of your energy towards someone Which means you are further tying yourself to them. And you may think that in doing that, you have all the power. They're holding the other end of the rope, which means now if they pull, you're bound. [00:12:00] So this idea of sending an energy towards someone to cause them ill basically just further instances you with this person that you are probably saying, "I want to be free of."

So Samael is asking you the question: "What is it you are trying to reach?" You may not be being honest with yourself. Maybe that ex dumped you, and you're angry, and underneath it all, you actually want to be closer to them. And so you're actually trying to tie yourself to them further. But in most cases, what people say is, "I want them out of my life."

And if you really want them out of your life, if freedom is what you are trying to reach, then you need to send absolutely nothing their way. Because your goal is freedom [00:13:00] and movement on, and to put it behind you, and to be out of their energy. And so when I get people all the time who do the, I call them the 'hex my ex' contacts, when people contact me and say, "Psst, Tava, you do hexes?"

I go, "Who are you trying to tie yourself to?" And they go, "What, what, what? No, no, no. I don't wanna do that." And I go, "Then that's not what you're looking for." And anybody that you hire to do that for you is not only tying you further to them, they're also tying themselves- 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah ... in 

Tava Baird: Samael's humble opinion. 

Jennifer Taylor: And something I wanna add to that, too, is, that some of, you know, some listeners or people may not be at all into, magic or the idea of doing hexes or that kind of thing- Mm-hmm

or may already get that concept, but not realizing that, in my perspective, our words and our attention do the same [00:14:00] thing. Yep. So, you know, if there is a political figure that you can't stand, and you just constantly are talking about how, "Oh, I just, I wish either something bad would happen to them," or just simply constantly rehashing the negative things that they're doing, 

Where attention goes, energy flows. Yes. So it, you know, as much as you f- your, your words are saying things against them and against what they're doing, what you're really doing is adding more energy and more fuel to them and whatever cause you wanna get rid of. And I, I don't know if it was Mother Teresa, somebody had said, you know, "I will never attend an anti-war rally, but I will attend a peace rally."

Because- Yeah ... anything you're anti, you know, the anti-war, the focus is entirely on war. It doesn't matter that you put an [00:15:00] anti in front of it, the focus is war. Right. And so whatever you're doing that is against something, you know, there's that saying, you know, what we resist persists. if- Mm-hmm

your focus is on that, you are only feeding it and making it bigger, and putting your attention and tying yourself to it. So the best thing you can do, when it comes to, something political or a cause or whatever, is put your focus and your words directly on what you do want, the outcome that you do want, and the rest just fades away.

You know, if you turn and focus on the sun, the shadow is cast behind you, and you're not even paying attention to it. You're focusing on the thing that you want to attach yourself to, the thing you want to draw your energy. So I could see a lot of people might be listening and thinking, "Oh, I don't do hexes.

I, I'm not into that [00:16:00] kind of stuff. This doesn't apply to me." But I think it applies to all of us, because we all send, consciously and unconsciously, our energy to things that we really want and that we really don't want. And a lot of the times, I think we spend a lot more time sending our energy and continuing to keep active in our energy field the things that we don't want, because we worry about them, or we say, "I just hope this doesn't happen.

Oh, I just hope it doesn't rain. I just hope it doesn't rain," you know? Yeah. As opposed to, "Oh, I hope it's just, bright and sunny all day." in little and really big ways. 

Tava Baird: Exactly. Exactly, 10 times over. And this also comes up when people say they need to vent, right? Is talking about something to get it out good?

Yes. But what I see sometimes is somebody will contact me and say, "I just need to vent," and then it becomes [00:17:00]obvious that they're venting over and over and over and over to 10, 12, 20 people. And- that venting is not helping- 

Jennifer Taylor: It's perpetuating ... because otherwise they 

Tava Baird: wouldn't have to repeat it over and over again.

And what they are is they're stuck in their anger and frustration, and every time they're giving voice to it beyond that first, "I just need to tell somebody..." I mean, sure, there are lots of times when I will... I mean, heck, just listen to the last podcast- ... where I was like, "Here's my soapbox. I'm gonna stand up, I'm gonna say what I need to say.

I'm pushing the soapbox," right? But if I now find myself reliving that anger, and again, when I tell my husband tonight, and then reliving it again when I go out to lunch with a friend, okay? Now we're getting into the territory where I am adding, I am living in a non-balanced [00:18:00] state 'cause I'm letting the energy of what upset me rule me, and I'm spreading it around to everybody who has to listen.

Again, my apologies for the last podcast. I should have vented just to Jenn. But anyway, let's just say, you got to hear music and it was a good balancing exercise. I don't know what excuses I'm gonna make for myself, but- I, I think- But the point is- ... you have a lot 

Jennifer Taylor: of really good points. Okay. And sometimes we need to make really good points.

And I think it's totally fine. 

Tava Baird: Thank you. Um, but what Samael is redirecting us back to is we all get into spirals where we get sort of obsessed, and we get monkey mind about something, and we go over it and over it and over it. We've all had times that we stand in the shower and go, "Well, I would have said X."

But if we can sit down and focus on, what is it I'm actually trying to reach? Am I trying to reach a place of peace? Am I trying [00:19:00] to reach a place where my heart feels hopeful enough that I can move on? What are things that I can do instead of this spiral of emotions that is only spreading imbalance and possibly giving power to the thing that upset me?

In this case, we may actually start to feel like we've become hexed ourselves. in the idea being that we're under the spell of frustration and anger and heartbreak. And what are some things that we can aim for in order to break that pattern within ourselves? We cannot control other people, no matter how lousy the person in your last relationship looks now.

They didn't look that way when you first got into the relationship with them, or you [00:20:00] wouldn't have gotten into it, right? they served a purpose in your life. There was something you were looking for at that time. Things did not turn out the way you expected. But now if you are just swimming in the deep, a lot of us think, "They did that to me."

They're not part of the picture right now if you can reorient yourself. How do you get yourself back into a balanced state where you are essentially not casting, a misery spell on yourself with your own actions and repetition? And that's where the list comes in. 

Jennifer Taylor: All right. 

Tava Baird: But would you mind singing a little bit more so I can go back and make sure?

'Cause there's a lot of things he started speaking about, and I wanna make sure that I have them in detail so that I don't do a poor job of bringing this through. Sure. 'Cause I- 

Jennifer Taylor: Absolutely ... 

Tava Baird: I'm sure there must be [00:21:00] somebody listening who needs this information today, and I wanna make sure they've got it.

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. I am always happy to sing, and Michael always has more songs for me. So, Thank you ... let's see. And actually, I have to say... it was the end of the last one that I was like, "I need to give props to Gabriel," because he definitely came in for the soothing the sea turtle. I 

love 

Tava Baird: Gabriel. 

Jennifer Taylor: Love him. All right.

Here we go.

[00:22:00] [00:23:00] [00:24:00] [00:25:00] [00:26:00] [00:27:00] [00:28:00] And so it is.

Tava Baird: Thank you so much. I had a couple- Oh, sure ... I had a couple of things tangled, and now, it's been laid out in a much, a much better flow here. 

Jennifer Taylor: Um- Oh, good. That was- Very s- ... really interesting. 

Tava Baird: I was gonna say, what was going on there? Can you tell us a little bit more about [00:29:00] that? 

Jennifer Taylor: Gosh, so I felt like I was supposed to play the drone flute, but then I couldn't...

Like, it just, it's like it wasn't working, which makes no sense. It's not a complicated instrument. And so I put that back and I picked up another one, which is an, um, ancient Kari wood flute. And so I started playing it, and it was, different. It was like it wasn't meant to have its normal kind of deep, resonant sound.

it was like the, the notes were supposed to be sounding a little bit more, I almost feel like, like harsh kind of. And So I went from that to singing, but then when I, when I was singing it, the flute became like a prop. Like a, I don't even know how to... I don't even know what it was.

It felt like some sort of long- staff or something, like [00:30:00] protective. And, as I'm singing then, I'm doing these motions where I'm, like, holding it out and I'm moving it, and I'm... Like, there are all these specific motions which felt almost, militaristic or, like a martial arts kind of thing with... You know how they have, like, that big staff?

I can't remember what it's called. it almost felt a little bit martial arts-like. And so I had to, like, kind of open my eyes and look around to make sure I wasn't gonna smack something with the flute. It, it was really interesting. So I'm going back and forth between playing it and then doing all these motions that felt very kind of defensive or protective, which was really interesting.

And then at the end, I felt like I could hear the sound of, the morning dove coming through, and I felt like there was kind of a wolf-like coyote kind of sound trying to come through the flute, and there was, like, a little bit of an owl sound trying to come [00:31:00] through it. and then at the end, I've no idea why, I was like...

I just, I heard this, "And so it is." And I was like- I heard you say that ... okay. Yeah, so I don't know. that was really interesting. The additional flute things at the end that I guess were more the animal kind of sounds were... I'd stopped, and then I looked and you were, seemed like you were still really writing.

And so I was like, "Okay, maybe I'm supposed to go back. Or j- I'll just keep going to help you." And that was when it was the sounds were more, seemed like nature kinds of sounds trying to come through. That I, I didn't do a great job of making the sounds that were trying to come through. No, no. And I've never tried to do that with a flute.

It sounded incredible. 

Tava Baird: It sounded incredible. And I mean, I feel like you basically, like, set up the water slide so the information could come down and hit, in terms of just opening up the way. Because this is pretty cool, I think. And I think [00:32:00]this is gonna help people. And it also really challenges a particular practice that I know myself and a bunch of other witches have done on a regular basis.

Um, this is a different perspective. So this is gonna be something to... It's really interesting, I think. And thank you for bringing through. I mean, without you, I don't think this would've come through at all. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh, absolutely. Um- I'm so excited to hear what you brought through. And thank you for bringing that.

Tava Baird: So top of the page, I just wrote hexbreaker. And This word keeps coming up in my head. The idea being that, these practices, it appears, are good for whenever you feel yourself in the thrall of repetitive speaking about something and you can't seem to stop or obsessively thinking [00:33:00] about somebody or a situation and you can't seem to stop.

And you might find yourself doing things you don't normally do, like buying into gossip or, speaking ill of something over and over on the internet, things like that. So we want to break this pattern of energy movement around you. so here are the steps that I was given.

"Number one, find a calm and safe space for many days. A retreat from communication other from those who give reliable, good guidance in physical healing, mental healing, or energetic healing. No new areas of study for you yet. You need sleep, good foods, and an [00:34:00] orientation of the after in your environment in the supportive company of a stable companion."

This is all number one, okay? Oh, wow." What is a stable companion? They suggest nature. They feel like a respected elder. They do not request much travel or a large group. They are skilled at routine and boundaries." All right? So he's saying you are in a space where your mind is spinning and you find yourself constantly checking that chat room to see how so-and-so responded, right?

You need to break that. And so the first thing you're gonna do is say, "I am planning a retreat from communications other than those that are absolutely necessary. I'm gonna [00:35:00] take the upcoming weekend, or I'm gonna take a mental health day, and in that time, I am not going to get on the internet." If I need to put a little message in my email box that says, "I am away from my desk and will return in three days," do it.

If you need to post something on Facebook that says, "I am taking a social media break, I am fine. I'm doing it for my mental health," do it. But cut out all that- Chatter. We deal with so much chatter that our parents and grandparents never had to deal with because they actually had to walk into a room with someone to exchange ideas.

Turn off that internet, turn off the twenty-four-hour news cycle. Shut it down, baby. Now, you don't wanna isolate yourself because once you do shut all that down, your brain is still going in cycle mode. So the only [00:36:00] people that you want to surround yourself with are people who are gifted in physical healing.

Maybe you make a doctor's appointment to get yourself checked out, only to ha-hear your doctor go, "Whoa, is your blood pressure up?" Right? "How are you sleeping?" All of those things that need to be checked on. Maybe it's somebody who is good at mental healing. They are a psychiatrist, they are a therapist, they are a grief counselor.

A lot of times when we find ourself in these cycles, we think, "Oh, I'm not in big enough trouble to really reach out. That's for people in more extreme circumstances than me." It's not. You are usually much worse off than you realize. Better to have a psychologist go, "Nah, you're fine. Just take a day off," than to have a psychiatrist go, "Wow, it appears that you are [00:37:00] repeating patterns of abandonment that you've been in for the last twenty years.

Maybe you should dig into that." Right? So this is a time with... Don't let ev- any Tom, Dick, and Harry on TikTok analyze you. We're looking at people who are calm, measured, respected in their fields. An energy healer, such as the Jente, right? He has been doing this a really long time. He is calm. She is measured.

She is gifted at this. She is not somebody who learned how to move energy this morning and is flashing it all over social media to try to get customers, right? You're looking for... Ask friends. "I'm looking for a massage therapist, a Reiki person," an energetic healer. Someone who... Ooh, what's the... A [00:38:00] craniosacral therapist.

Whatever it is that floats your boat, get the one who's been at it the longest, or at least for quite some period of time, where you can talk to other people who say, "Oh, I know there are a lot of yoga teachers out there, but I went to this one who leads you on guided meditation and really understands how to release tension from the body in class."

That's where you need to go, okay? And he's telling you, do not decide in these days that you are gonna completely remake who you are and move on. We are in a mode of recovery here, right? You need sleep, you need good food, and if you really wanna do something to make yourself feel like you're moving forward, he says an orientation of the after in your environment.[00:39:00]

We do constantly check and s- orient ourselves based on time and relationships. We've talked about that earlier. You may be now entering a time where you would like to think of it as the after period from whatever event was sticking in your brain. I am now entering the after of that relationship, the after of that job, that after of that toxic environment.

And you wanna give yourself something in your environment that happened after. The easiest one, start sleeping upside down in your bed so that when you wake up in the morning, you see something new immediately from what you normally saw. Then your brain goes, "I am in the after period. I am recovering, and when I have recovered, I will then rebuild."[00:40:00]

Maybe you simply rearrange some of the furniture in your house. Maybe you, yeah, just pick a room and change where the things are so you go, "This is the period after. Things look different now." And that will bring you a little bit of relief. And the, when you do have people who are supporting you and checking on you, rather than it being 9,000 friends who all wanna say, "I was in a bad relationship like that once.

Want to hear my trauma?" Say, "I am on retreat. Carol, the oldest, most boring person I know, is who I will be communicating with about my wellbeing. If you wanna know how I'm doing, please check in with Carol until the end of the weekend," until the end of the two-week period, until the end of whatever have you.

You are looking for someone stable [00:41:00] to communicate with. You aren't looking for your most energetic friend who goes, "Oh yeah, man, you know, we could really do something about that. Let's go out and get drunk together and boost our bad decisions." Nope. Look for the person who is, has clear boundaries, who often says, "Yeah, we should think about that for a while."

Right? Someone who is willing to let things settle and let them be your support, if able. All right? So we're going into this time period of retreat and healing, right? You've just been through the Olympics of stress. Now you get a little break. We're now onto item two, folks. None of the others are that long.

Item two, "once that period is over..." and [00:42:00] he actually specified that "it could be a day, but that it shouldn't be longer than," he said, "a fortnight," which I think is two weeks, right? If you are still in your jammies in the house after two weeks, it's probably time to pull in a mental health professional, right?

But if you can take a few days to just sort of unplug, that would be really good. Or even a day. Number two, "once that period is over, gentle social time in nature, homes, or supportive circles." Notice he did not say head to the club, right? You are looking at low contact, no pressure, where you're sitting and having tea in someone's kitchen, where maybe you're going to a gathering of your most intimate friends for a potluck.

or you're going on a hike in [00:43:00] nature. Something that is not taxing to your soul. Okay? "Number three, environment." So you've taken some time. Now you're maybe doing a little bit of gentle social work. "Your environment at home. Waking in orientation." Try moving the bed or sleeping in a different orientation in your bed, as we just discussed, so that when you wake up, you go, "Huh, I'm a little bit surprised by this.

What is the possibility?" Things are changing. The feeling that you might be able to pull out of your circumstance is hope, and we know that hope is the greatest magic, right? Even where we're not feeling a lot of love, hope can sustain us until we feel love again. So wake up perhaps with a new orientation.

He also suggests [00:44:00] "change of color, change of directionality, and a clearing of space." And he said that we might suggest going back To that 10 Steps to Sovereignty by Samael and Lilith and putting those steps in place. The, "Oh no, I feel like I've been depressed and I haven't taken the recycling out in forever," right?

Clearing space, playing music. if you run across your ex's shirt and you feel anger welling up in you, let that energy out at the shirt right before you throw it in the donation bin. You know? clearing the space. We are making room for new possibility. And doing that says, "I expect hope to come in here.

Look at me creating space for the next thing so that I don't dwell in the last thing." [00:45:00] Step four: "the introduction of new ideas to the mind." He says they, "these may be found in books, articles, films," other things where, um, your friend says, "Oh, there's this book I've been dying for you to read." Read the book.

Start your Pinterest board. Start your dream board. What you're looking for are new experiences and ideas to occupy the mind so that your mind isn't stuck. It's excited about something new and doesn't just spend its time sitting there rehashing the old and reliving old emotions. I think we've all seen, this happens a lot when you talk to a spouse or a friend or a partner of any kind.

You'll say, "How was your day?" And if they had a rough day at work and they start reliving the meet- the bad meeting for you, you see all the [00:46:00] stress signs come right back. Their shoulders go up. Their voice tightens up. They start to speak faster and with more emphasis. They start reliving the stress even though they are not in that meeting anymore.

If your brain doesn't have anything to occupy itself other than the stress you were in, you're just gonna be reliving that tension over and over in your body. This is the time to say, "I've always wanted to learn blacksmithing, and I'm gonna read everything I possibly can, and I'm signing up for a one-on-one session."

"Oh man, I've always really wanted to explore the other books by this author. I'm gonna escape into their world for a couple of hours a day." "You know, there's this film that my friend says is absolutely freaking hysterical. I need to go laugh." Which leads me to number find. Number five, Samael says, [00:47:00] "Laughter by any means peaceful."

That laughter is a movement of energy through the body, and if you feel stuck, laughter is going to open those things up. Way back in some of our early podcasts, and I think I talk about it in, my Spiral Pathways witchcraft book. we talked about laughter circles, where people lie down and put their heads on each other's bellies in a big circle, and one person will start fake laughing, just going, "Ha ha ha ha," and it starts to spread, and soon everybody is actually laughing.

And it's this catharsis of laughing in a group. Read the stupid comics. Go see the bad movie. You know, whatever it is, ask your friends, say, "I need a Talladega Nights movie night. I need all the stupid Will Ferrell movies front [00:48:00] to back." Right? Like, let's bring them and sit together. As much laughter as you can.

Notice he said "laughter by any means peaceful." Don't go to a stand-up comic who's gonna be racist for two hours. That is not a means that's peaceful. That's not the laughter we want to be bringing in right now. We want- Or watching 

Jennifer Taylor: maybe, like, a million nut shot videos. 

Tava Baird: Yeah. That's not necessarily so peaceful.

Might be funny, but we are looking at where you can laugh without guilt. Because sometimes in those environments, people laugh because they're uncomfortable. They laugh to relieve tension. That's why people laugh in horror films, is they're relieving tension, even though sometimes it's not funny, right? We wanna put you in an environment where you're not laughing to relieve, just relieve the tension of the environment.

You're laughing to move energy through you and to [00:49:00] enjoy yourself, to let your body remember what it's like to experience joy and delight. Tickling. Tickling can be torture. Just do it sparingly. 

Okay? 

"Number six, travel". Now, a lot of us go, "I can't afford to travel. Look at the gas prices." Okay. I love this idea.

Somebody gave it to me once, and I, I recommend it to people all the time. You don't have to get a hotel room and a, long car drive or a plane ticket to travel. You can contact another friend of yours, someone who you feel safe having in your space, and that they feel safe having you in theirs, and say, "Can we trade houses for 24 hours?

Or from Friday night to Saturday at lunch?" Like, "Could we meet for Friday for dinner?" And I'm gonna pack an overnight bag, and you're gonna pack an overnight bag, and [00:50:00] then we're gonna give each other keys at dinner. And instead of going home, we're going to the other person's house. We're gonna pretend it's an Airbnb.

And when we get there, there's new things. The forks aren't in the same drawer. You know? Like, there's different shower gel in the shower. And your brain that just has... Is stuck in routine so much, the obsession with whatever you were stuck in may also be... Those thought cycles may be due to the fact that they don't have any- your brain doesn't have anything else to do.

So if you put yourself in a new environment where your brain has to go, "Wait, where's the cups? Where's the cups?" Or, "Hang on," looking for the toothpaste. Your brain is gonna be occupied 'cause it has to orient itself in space, which leaves less brain power for worrying and thinking about the past.

And sometimes in that [00:51:00] space where you don't have your own laundry to do because it's not there, and you don't have your own internet, and you don't have, your dishes to put away, there's room to sit down and journal and to look back at the situation that you're not currently standing in and say, "What fresh new ideas do I have that I might implement in my own space when I get home?"

So you can travel on the cheap, just find a buddy who wants to spend the night with you. Now, if you are like my husband, who the idea of anybody coming into our house sends him into an anxiety spiral, this is not the idea for you. In that case, if you can, go get yourself... It doesn't have to be far.

Go get yourself a one-night Ramada across town. Go out to eat at a restaurant you never go to eat at. Lay around in the hotel in your underwear, and give yourself the gift of a night [00:52:00] in a hotel without chores around to reorient your brain. 

Jennifer Taylor: Another thing that, that when he was talking about travel and, you know, whether or not that's really possible based on work schedules and money and whatever, I was thinking just traveling differently through the spaces that you already travel.

so take a different route to work. on the way to drop- Yes ... your kids off or you to pick your kids up, take routes that you've never done, and see if you can navigate your way, through a little part of town that you don't normally go through. Or stop and eat at a completely different restaurant that you've never been to or, just go into a shop that you've never been into but you've driven by it 100 times Just for the sake- Yes

and you don't have to buy anything, just for the sake of going in and having... It's like you can have almost like a little day trip in the same area that you're in all the time just by going to the places that you go [00:53:00] by a million times and never really even look at, and might not even know they were there, until you just intentionally veer out of your way.

Tava Baird: That is brilliant because when you 

Tava Baird (2): do go into that shop you've never been into before, your brain goes, "Who am I in this space?"

If you go to the restaurant you've always been to, you may know the waiters, the waitresses, the menu, but if you go into a brand-new restaurant, you can be whoever you want to be in that restaurant. There is no preconceived in that restaurant, right? And that is one of the beautiful things, the beautiful gift to give yourself, to say, "I'm going into a new space.

Who will I be in this space?" I'm gonna fake it till I make it. I'm gonna walk into it as a person unencumbered by that last thing that happened. And this is one I think I actually got from you, Jenn. If you really can't go outside your house, put up a tent in the backyard. Camping, even if [00:54:00] it's just in your backyard, you see kids do it all the time.

But sleep, under the stars, or being out in, nature, or waking up in a tent versus a bedroom is gonna completely change the way that you go into that next day, right? So and if you don't have a backyard, blanket fort in the living room, people. What we're looking for is change so that you can see yourself not as a person stuck in a pattern, but as a person outside of that pattern.

You can lay there in your blanket fort and go, "The me of two weeks ago would never have done this," right? You can see progress. You can see yourself moving on. So travel. This is fantastic. Number seven, care of the body. [00:55:00] Here's the part that gets a slightly rated R, folks. If you have children, are- perhaps listen to this through headphones at a later date.

Care of the body- So a lot of times we see people all the time, "I want a change, I go get a haircut." Now I, myself, and I am marking, "Oh, all that happened when I had long hair and now I have different hair." people will go have a self-care spa day. I get nails. I do whatever so that I can reconnect and understand that my body needs to relax after trauma or after repetitious energies, and also that, I am still me.

So the subsections of care of the body beyond the spa day, Samael pointed out "this includes physical [00:56:00]intimacy." So here's the thing. We orient ourself on other people all the time. Oh look, there's my love. There's the person who holds me. There's the person who touches my hand. There's the person who I can always count on to make space next to them at the table.

If the situation that you're from, if the situation that you are moving on from is a person, then when you lost that person, you also lost a tremendous amount of physical intimacy. And it could be anything from this is the person-- this is the grandma who patted my hand to reassure me, to this is the lover who used to take me to bed.

Humans are designed to be touched. We all saw what hap- happened during COVID. Therapists were freaking [00:57:00]out because there were lots of people in touch therapy who, you know, we as we spend more and more of our time on the internet and more time in public spaces, a lot of us don't get hugs, right? my husband would also talk about, you know, when I worked at school, everybody that I worked with and the kids hugged me all the time.

I had great touch, right? A, a lovely people showing me affection all the time. But in a government office space, nobody ever touched each other. The only hugs he got in his life were from me. So if the only physical touch you ever get was from that person who you are now separate from, that is going to create its own grief period in your life.

Seek out other forms of physical touch. Now, I am not saying go pick someone up at a bar and go home with them. But can you go get a [00:58:00] massage? Can you go to a spa where someone puts their hands on your head for a little time? Do you have a friend that y- or a family member who is willing to rub your feet?

Do you have a friend who is ... I have a dear friend, I actually just got back from visiting her, and we were walking. I have antique store trauma, but that's a complete different story. But I was telling her about how every time I walk into an antique store, I have flashbacks because my parents always used to take me to antique stores because they loved them.

And I get flashbacks to my childhood. I feel a lot of the yucky feelings

that I felt in my childhood. That[00:59:00]

is a whole other topic that maybe we need to do on Valentine's Day or something. But let me just paraphrase it nicely here. Hmm. [01:00:00] There are certain activities that one can undertake with oneself, and when you are undertaking those activities with yourself, you are not worrying about anything else. Your brain is really focused on something.

And sometimes you are in a place where you are lying in bed, about to go to sleep, and those thoughts that have been cycling in your head come back. The rage, the abandonment, the frustration. Might we suggest perhaps a foray into a certain release of tension one can give themself In doing that, you are raising power in your own body, and then you can say, "I want the best for myself," as that power is unleashed.

And like [01:01:00] I said, this is, can be a whole other episode at some point when we have fans to keep us from getting too hot and bothered. But that is another form of self-care and intimacy that can help you break out of mental cycles. Woo, number seven. All right. Okay, wow. "Number eight, don't forget your guardians."

Samael says "guardians during sleep and liminal spaces." So you may be doing just great on that situation you wanna leave behind in the daytime, but perhaps at night you're dreaming about it. Those people are popping back up in your head, and you don't feel like you have any control, and you are reliving these emotions.

Perhaps this is coming to you in quiet times of meditation. Call in guides and guardians and ask, [01:02:00] "Is there anybody new out there who can help me, this edge state between my old life and my new? Is there anybody who can come and stand here and be with me? Is there anyone who might also help me with self-worth as I go forward into this new area?"

I'm just saying, Lilith is a good one to call on at this t- We're almost done. "Number nine, hopeful and protective charms." And this is where something came up that made me go, "Hmm." He says" these charms should not be designed to keep away a specific person." So there's a big tradition of cord cutting in the pagan community.

Lots of cord cutting spells. "I want to be away from somebody else." We all love [01:03:00] a good cord cutting, 

right? 

I get asked all the time, "Do you have a good cord cutting spell?" And I go, "Yeah, there you go." If you want to do a cord cutting spell because it's in your tradition, and because seeing that physical separation of that bond fall away, Samael says that is wonderful.

He says but do it at the beginning of these steps, 'cause if we do it here in number nine, we are essen- essentially setting up a spell that is bringing some of that person's energy back into our space, and we are undoing some of all the good work that we just did in numbers one through eight. We're further tying ourselves to them.

So if we want to do a cord-cutting spell, awesome. But do it at the beginning, before that initial retreat time. Sit [01:04:00]down, do your happy, wonderful cord cutting. See the cord between you and that person fall away. But our goal is to be thinking about them less, not deciding what color candle we want to represent them, and then driving to the metaphysical shop to purchase it, and having a discussion about what color is the right candle with the shopkeeper.

That's putting way too much energy back into that old situation. So the protective and hopeful charms should not be, "This is a charm to keep so-and-so away from me." It should be what Jenn said before. "Where is it that I want to go? This is a charm for letting in good things. This is a charm for inviting in my guides.

This is a charm for protecting me, not from something that happened in the past, but protecting me as I walk through new experiences and encounter new people." We are looking in [01:05:00] that direction. And I had to go, "Huh?" 'Cause, I mean, a million times, how many, times have I done cord cutting and told people of how to do it?

It just has a place in the process. "Number 10, ongoing empowerment of the self. "

Jennifer Taylor: Right? Oh, actually, before we go into 10- Yep ... I have one, I have a question about, nine. 

Tava Baird: Yes. 

Jennifer Taylor: Um, freezer spells. Also would fall into that category, yes or no? 

Tava Baird: Samael says to "alter the freezer spell." Now, freezer spells, some people may do them differently than I do.

Freezer spells can kind of be done two ways. They can be, "I want any negative energy coming my way to be frozen." Thunk, you know, and it goes in the freezer. Or it can be, [01:06:00] "I want this person's effect on me to be frozen." If you've got that person's energy in your freezer, that's gonna be ongoing. So I would say if you want to do a freezer spell, do it at the very, very, very, very, very beginning before the cord cutting, and don't leave it in there long.

Maybe leave it in there for a day or two days. Because otherwise, what's gonna happen is you're gonna open back up that freezer two months from now and it may bring things back up Our goal is to give that situation as little thought as possible. nobody can play tug of war with you if you drop the end of the rope.

Anybody out there who you don't want to have power over you, ignoring them is the absolute, don't give them any attention. That is the absolute best way to [01:07:00] cut their power out from under them. I know people who have decided that certain people in our community have power, and they will go, "Oh, I hear some- so and so is really powerful.

You know, what do you think of them?" And I go, "I don't think of them at all." And they go, "What?" And I go, "I don't think of them at all. I don't... I met them. I don't vibe with them ethically. Their magic is not for me. I don't think about them. They got no power over me. I don't even give them the time of day. I don't think about them."

Right? Think about back to the whole I don't know her phrase that you saw on the internet when they would ask a famous person who clearly knew about another famous po- person and had said something. Person A had said something nasty about famous person B, and the press would rush up to person B and go, "So and so said this about you.

Any response?" And they would go, "Oh, I do- [01:08:00] I don't know her." End of discussion, right? They moved on. I read, it was in Entertainment News last night, and I loved this. It was about Adam Driver. You know Adam Driver. He was in the Star Wars movies. He was in a show called Girls for a very long time, right? And Lena Dunham, who was the writer on Girls and everything, and his co-star in all the scenes.

he played her boyfriend. I never saw the show, but I read this in the article. she has written a tell-all book. Now, I don't know her work very well, but from when I see her crop up, she is definitely a dramatist, shall we say. It appears. And apparently she said some rather unflattering things about Adam Driver.

She said some flattering things, but she also said some unflattering things. And who knows if they're true. Who knows what their relationship is. We don't know. We weren't there. [01:09:00] But the press immediately event that Adam Driver was at and said, "Oh, she just said this in her memoir. What do you have to say?"

And I loved his response. He said, "I have no comment. I'm saving it for my book." And he smiled and walked off. Adam Driver's probably never gonna write that book. But he essentially just completely diffused the information. I'm not giving that any energy, and I'm gonna make a cute joke about it afterwards And I'm moving on.

And I remember because the article wrote that it was titled something like Adam Driver Just Sails Over Drama, right? 

Jennifer Taylor: Nice. 

Tava Baird: She wasn't accusing him of like abuse or anything where it looked like it, it really needed to be addressed. From the article that I read, and I haven't read the book, maybe some of you have, and if you have, correct me.

But it seemed like, [01:10:00] um, the stories were more meant to kind of bring in a little bit of titillation and perhaps start something going on. Not, you know, it wasn't a her coming out and saying, "I was abused by this person," in which case we have a completely different scenario, right? But I just loved the, "I don't, I don't know.

It's not that important to me. Move on." So look at who you're giving power to, and if that freezer spell is gonna feel really good to slam that door on a possession of theirs that is in the freezer, baby do it. But do it way at the beginning before you start to process and heal and balance. Don't leave it in there where every time you go to get yourself an ice cream sandwich, you're staring at an item that is gonna bring back up bad memories for you.

You can just do a freezer spell and say, [01:11:00] "I freeze any situation or any contact that pulls me into a place that is not for my highest good." Wham. That one you can leave in there forever. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, I would say that sounds much more in line. Be- it seems like anything that is directly related to a person or a situation just, like, ties you, ties you- Yeah

to whatever you've put there. 

Tava Baird: And you don't wanna be bound any more than you have to be. You've got important metaphysical stuff to do, folks. Um, "number 10, ongoing empowerment of the self," right? doing the work and saying, "What do I... Do I wanna feel physically stronger than I am?

Do I want to feel mentally stronger? Do I want to feel more supported in my community? What can I do to feel stronger and sexier and more brilliant and more powerful?" Not at the expense of others. [01:12:00] "But what steps can I take to raise my energy and my health and my vibration? What are the things, what are the patterns that I have that routinely bring me down?

What are the things... Is this the ninth relationship that has ended the same way?" Then there's work here that I need to do, rather than saying, "All of my exes are crazy." 'Cause mathematically probably not all of them are. Or if they all absolutely are, what is it that attracts you to that type of person?

That needs to get fixed.

And that leads to "number 11: ongoing psychological support." I know Jenn and I have said this a million times, but we're gonna say it again. Therapy is good, baby. Therapy and psychologists and people who know what they're [01:13:00]doing is a good idea. So many people go, "I'm just gonna handle this metaphysically," but then they try to do it with no support.

Or they pick somebody who says they're good at shadow work who is offering classes on the internet who has no track record, and absolutely no idea what to do when you have a mental breakdown. 

Jennifer Taylor: Well, and there are lots and lots of types of therapists and types- Yes ... of support. You know, it, it's not just a I don't wanna go and just sit there and talk about my feelings and have somebody say, "Oh, how do you feel about that?"

Like- Right ... which sometimes that's exactly what you need. But there are lots and lots of different types of things. There's EMDR, there's all different types of therapies where some that actually... that train your brain away from those, you know, obsessive kinds of thoughts, that train you- Yeah ... to, to shift things in your body when you start going down a [01:14:00] certain way.

There's, I know the Tapping Solution, like, that's a good thing to look into. There are lots of different types of things. it's not just a go and, sit on a couch and talk to somebody. that's not the only way. There are so many ways that are out there now that have really specific types of tools, and that fit whatever type of thing you like.

It may be, hypnotherapy or, you know, there are just so many things. So if you had one bad experience with a therapist, or you know people who are like, "Ugh, just sitting and talking about it doesn't work," there are lots and lots of different ways of doing things, beyond that. So do some research on some new therapies, new techniques for addressing whatever it is that you're experiencing, because there is a lot out there that, was not around 20 years ago.

Or if it was, it wasn't accessible- Absolutely ... to everybody. And these things are so widely available. And no matter [01:15:00] where you are, there are teletherapy for most things now. 

Tava Baird: Absolutely. And other things that might fall under this umbrella, while they might not be sort of textbook psychological support, support groups.

Is there a support group in your area for people who are coming out of relationships? Is there an Alcoholics Anonymous group? Do you need that? You know, is there mindfulness training with a Zen Buddhist group in the area that might teach you techniques for what to do when you find your thoughts racing?

You know, there are lots of support systems, And you don't have to pick just one. You can find ways that they integrate with each other and go, "Ooh, whenever I get stressed, I now can use this mindfulness technique that I learned from this Buddhist group. And then on Tuesdays I go to see my support group, and they are there for me.

And then once a month on Thursdays, I go see my [01:16:00] psychiatrist." You know, you can mix and match. Just there's lots out there, and so many of us have the idea that we're gonna be sitting with Freud on a leather sofa in a dark room talking about our childhood. Jenn's absolutely right. There's lots of things available now.

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. So look into that. And you did mention also, because you mentioned psychiatrists, which automatically makes me think medication, it is not a failure if you need some medication to help you get a leg up. Yeah. There are times when your brain just cannot re-uptake serotonin. It can't do what it needs to do in order to lift your mood and lift you out of things.

Or there are chemicals that are just out of balance that could really benefit from, a medication that can bring things into balance. I'm not saying drug yourself into some sort of place where you're numb. But there are lots of variants there as well. And, there are [01:17:00] times when it really, really is an absolute night and day difference in how you- Yes

feel really quickly. Um, so- Yeah. I, I have been on that path ... that's always something. Yeah. Me as well. 

Tava Baird: Yep. We have both been on that path. We have been to therapy. We have been to psychiatry. I have taken medications. Friends, take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. and now we are in the last two, and they're very short.

They could actually probably spin off into their own podcast. "Number 12, reconsecration and renaming." When we name something, we bring it into being. Is there a new form of ourselves that we wish to birth? And if so, do we wanna give ourselves a new name? A new nickname, a new name in ritual space, a new name that we [01:18:00] sign on the bottom of our paintings?

How will you reclaim yourself? If your altar is full of things that were dedicated to who you used to be, clean that off and rededicate those items or find new ones. Think of where you want to go and plan for that. And number 13, Samael says, "A temple to the self." And we can go into this at another time.

But loosely, what it means in Lilithian magic is the idea that you are divine. And we often fill our altars with images of other entities that we wish to invoke. Do not forget to invoke the power of yourself, and understand that while you are going through a difficult [01:19:00] time, you are just as powerful and just as precious as those that are depicted in those statues and named in those sigils in front of you.

What can you add to that altar that says, "I am bringing my greatest self into being, and this is a tribute to who I am becoming"? 

Jennifer Taylor: I love it. Wow. Um- Well, that was a lot. 

Tava Baird: Yeah. Wow. and so friends, think a little bit more closely before you reach out and say, "How much to hex my ex?" Because baby, you have a much brighter future than that.

You have so much more opportunity than that. Leave that old situation [01:20:00] behind. Let it go. Let the earth swallow it back up, and walk forward with your chin up saying, "Look at how I evolved. That situation is in the past. It is part of who I am energetically. I have learned from it, and now I stride onward."

Jennifer Taylor: Hope is the strongest 

magic. 

Tava Baird: Hope is the strongest magic. dose yourself with it liberally as you walk along your way. If you feel that you have no love, hold onto that hope, because it is hope that will open the door for feelings of love and connection and adoration to come back in.

Jennifer Taylor: So enjoy your week, and may it be filled with hope 

Tava Baird: May it be filled with hope and your own strong magic 

Jennifer Taylor: And [01:21:00] I just realized that normally we would end with a song, but I was just thinking, and interestingly, I ended up ending a podcast a couple podcasts ago with this, but I brought through a song called, Consecration of an Altar to Hope.

Yeah That is a part of the Lilith album that I'd completely forgotten I'd even brought through, and I found it the other day. And so I think we will end this podcast then with the Consecration of an Altar to Hope. 

Tava Baird: How perfect is that? 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. I just happened to come across it when I was editing, one of the other podcasts when the one where he first said, "Hope is the strongest magic."

And I was like, "Oh, that's gonna be perfect." And that seems like just the place to end today as well. Mm-hmm. So- 

Tava Baird: Thank you so much. That is [01:22:00] ideal. Well, folks, enjoy the song and, don't forget to enjoy yourselves. Laugh as much as you can. Take yourself on a trip. Have fun becoming. And, thank you so much for listening.

Jennifer Taylor: Until next time. 

Tava Baird: Until next time. 

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