The Currents We Carry: Resistance, Reclamation, and the Courage to Be Held

The Currents We Carry: Resistance, Reclamation, and the Courage to Be Held

Mystical Musings celebrates its 100th episode before returning to the mysterious energetic currents flowing through our world—and through us. Why might the same spell produce different results for different people? What happens when something once created to protect us begins interfering with the energy trying to move through? With channeled messages from Samael, an excerpt from Tava’s forthcoming novel, stories of Reiki and synchronicity, and an invitation to reclaim a place from the past, this conversation leads to the edge of fear, trust, and the possibility of allowing ourselves to be held.

In This Episode

• Celebrating 100 episodes of Mystical Musings
• The New Energy present before the next becoming
• How place, physical history, discernment, and comfort influence magic
• Why old spells cannot always produce reproducible results
• Resistance, energetic dams, and protections that may have outlived their purpose
• Trusting our own intuitive and energetic language
• Reiki, synchronicity, and releasing blocked energy
• Reclaiming places from the past
• Recognizing when the way has opened
• Learning to trust our guides—and allowing ourselves to be held

Continue Exploring

JOIN US LIVE AT MYSTIC FIRE 2026 on THE ANGEL PATH 

- a 3 day intensive retreat with Tava, Jenn and Keith! Space is limited, reserve your spot today at the link below. 

https://www.mysticfire.org/

“Refuge in the Storm”
This episode closes with an energetic transmission of divine support channeled in collaboration with the Stones of Place in Vermont, Archangel Michael, and Samael. 

https://amnivara.bandcamp.com/track/refuge-in-the-storm

Tava’s Books and Teachings
Explore The Book of Samael, the Spiral Pathways novels, Lilithian magic, classes, and more.

https://www.tavabaird.com/

Private Soul Resonance Sessions
Personalized energy work, channeled sound, intuitive guidance, and spiritual support with Jennifer.

https://www.willowridgereiki.com/soul-resonance-sessions

Reiki Training with Jennifer
Learn to recognize, trust, and work with the energy moving through you.

https://www.willowridgereiki.com/reiki-training-overview

Thank you for walking beside us through 100 episodes of wonder, vulnerability, transformation, and discovery.

Please remember this podcast is for inspiration, reflection, and entertainment only, and is not medical, psychological, or professional advice.

We are two friends sharing personal experiences and evolving perspectives as we learn and grow. This is not a substitute for your own discernment, inner wisdom, or qualified professional guidance.

Take what resonates, trust your intuition, and seek licensed support when needed, always honoring your own inner knowing and personal truth.

Thank you joining us today, you are a valued member of our tribe!  If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider telling your friends and sharing it on social media.  We would greatly appreciate your support in helping us reach others and spread our messages of worth, openness and exploration. 

Connect with your Hosts!

Tava Baird:   tavabaird.com or https://darkflowerbooks.etsy.com.

Jennifer Taylor:  Amnivara (previously Willow Ridge Reiki and Healing Arts)           https://www.Amnivara.com/

Transcript

S4Ep15 The Currents We Carry: Resistance, Reclamation and the Courage to Be Held

Jennifer Taylor (2): [00:00:00] Well, good morning, Tava Baird 

Tava Baird-: Good morning, Jennifer Taylor. How are you? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I am wonderful, and happy 100th episode. I think it was- Ah ... last week. 

Tava Baird-: Oh my God, I cannot believe that we have done 100 episodes. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. we were just trying to figure out before the podcast, we're like, "How many hours is that?"

Like- 

Tava Baird-: Right ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): at least 150 hours of actual, podcast that's out there. But then, yeah, so many hours. Befores, the afters They have all been just so filled with wonder and, wow, and like 100 weeks of our spiritual evolution that is out there in the world. 

Tava Baird-: Feel like if we were a television series, there would be a montage here, um, that showed us- Yes.

on episode one, and then episode 20, and then [00:01:00] episode, you know. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, that would be really fun. Um- 

Tava Baird-: Greatest hits ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): it would be really funny to hear us, like how we kinda talk about things and our kind of hesitance and kinda cageyness around certain things at the very beginning, and then it's like, "Here we go."

Tava Baird-: yeah, I mean, I imagine if we listened to the very first episodes, we'd be like, "What in the world?" Like- I know we didn't have our structure. We didn't, did you sing on the very first episodes? You must have 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I don't know, actually. I, I know- 'Cause- ... somewhere early on I w- like I know I was speaking in vocations, and then at- Yes

some point, I think pretty early on, I said I felt like I needed to sing. Um, but I think it was, you know, very short and, and probably pretty kind of reserved in, in what I was bringing through. Uh, yeah, it would be really [00:02:00] fascinating. We should go back and s- kind of see what's there. Or it may just- My God

be so cringey we can't do it. 

Tava Baird-: Or we might just go, "Okay, that isn't what we do now. Take it down," and then, you know. Um- 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah ... 

Tava Baird-: well I, I don't think, I mean, Samael was around, but I don't think I even mentioned him. I probably mentioned him, but I don't think I... he started being a bigger influence until several episodes in, like seven or eight of them.

I think it was earlier ... 

Was it earlier than that? All, the only thing I remember is us suddenly doing one where he came through in a big way, and afterwards I was having this like, "Oh my God, can we put that on there? Should we be doing that?" And you were like, "This is exactly what we're supposed to be doing."

And I was going, "Are you sure? I mean, I... Are you sure?" And you were like, "Yeah, this is exactly, we're s- both supposed to be channeling on this thing." [00:03:00] And me going, "It's amazing that like you just knew that we were doing what we were supposed to be doing." I had no idea. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Well it, I mean, it makes sense too because, that was a super vulnerable thing for you to be doing in that podcast.

I mean, you were really not- All that open, with it, It was still a fairly private kind of thing at that point. And so- 

Mm-hmm ... 

and I remember you being like, you know, "Is, is that okay? this just sort of came through and I, you know, and I didn't ask."

I'm like, "Oh, yeah, yeah. This, it..." Yeah, there was this overwhelming feeling of, oh, this is why. This is why we're doing the podcast. This is what we're supposed to be doing. We're supposed to be channeling. And at that time, I didn't really realize that I would be much of a part of that, but it was just like, yeah, let's bring in- Yeah

Samael more, and- 

Tava Baird-: And I- ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): talk about it, but 

Tava Baird-: I will, as long as I live, I will never forget at the time [00:04:00] my, my computer setup was out in the front of the house, and I, as long as I live, I will never forget the day that Samael suddenly went, "Hello, Michael." And I was like, "Oh my God." And I remember you on the other end just being like, "Oh my God," 'cause there was like a light was...

You could see that had come in. And I mean, that was the first time that I was like, oh, it's not just going to be... Like, Michael was already coming through you in song, but I think I thought of him as being on that side of the computer screen. Like as if we'd put an angel in a playpen somehow. And when suddenly it was like, oh no, he's wherever he wants to be.

This isn't just you and Samael in the room, and that's where the club ends. Um, I was like, oh my God. Because I, I had had no interaction [00:05:00] with him. I didn't know what to do, and I was so grateful that you did. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Well, it was-- I remember that I can still... Yeah, I, I remember that part just as clear as day our whole studio, was facing the other direction, and he was, really strongly to my right, but the energy was so strong 

I kept-- It was like, ah, yeah, oh, wow. Like I I could just feel there was so much. It was almost like hard to get a breath. And you know, I, I feel like I had known he was around, and I'd known his presence, but I don't know that I had felt it that strongly ever. And I think like Sekhmet and other-- I think maybe Sekhmet had come through.

I feel like there had been some messages maybe from others- Yes ... before that. But yeah, his energy was just so strong. I think that was the first time I'd really felt him that strongly, that close. Yeah. 

Tava Baird-: Some of the other things I remember from us [00:06:00] early days, well, it took Samael a long time to talk about Lilith, which- 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah

Tava Baird-: now we have Lilith episodes, you know, like where we talk about, you know, the 10 steps to sovereignty But, the Book of Samael, he barely mentions her in there at all, and He didn't really talk about other entities much except just in passing.

And, I remember when we first had an episode where, he was actually ready to speak about her at greater length, me just going, "Oh, boy. I feel like something here has shifted." Um- Yeah ... I remember bone reading and the episode about your, was it your grandfather? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yes. Yeah. 

Tava Baird-: Yes. I remember that episode.

He had 

Jennifer Taylor (2): a great-grandfather. Yeah. Great-grandfather. 

Tava Baird-: Great-grandfather. And, um, yeah, there's been a lot in 100 episodes. Thank you for everybody who listens who's still with us and who, [00:07:00] uh, we really enjoy making these. Uh, Jenn does all the editing now, so she probably 

Jennifer Taylor (2): doesn't have words so much. 

Tava Baird-: Thank God for her.

Yeah, what a long, strange trip it's been so far. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. it's just been so amazing. It's one of my favorite things is to podcast, and honestly, the editing is good for me because I have so little recollection after we do the podcast- ... of what actually happened in it that, it's really helpful to go back and go, "Okay," the...

and read what Samael had said and be reminded of the messages and then take it in, because it's almost like I can't really take it in as it's all happening because I'm in such a kind of channeling sort of place too that my, you know, recollection part of my memory just doesn't work. Right. But then afterwards when I get to go back and edit, then I'm reminded of it, and it's almost like then I can take it in and I can start [00:08:00] to, incorporate it a little bit more.

whilst some, sometimes we're such a disaster, we're all over the place that it's, really hard, but a lot of times it's really a blessing to be able to go back and review it because so many times I'm like, "How did all that happen?" And then, like, that afternoon I couldn't have told anybody what happened.

Like, it's just, it's just gone. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I second your, um, thanks. Thank you to everybody who has been watching and listening and is our memory about it. You know, it's so neat to go somewhere and have you come and be like, "Oh, remember when you did such and such?" Or, "Oh yeah, of course, because remember when Michael did this or you did that, or this being came in and said that?"

And I'm thinking, "Oh my goodness, I'd totally forgotten that." But, uh, you guys are amazing and it's so, it is so flattering and so humbling and such a blessing that you're out there and you're listening and you're taking [00:09:00] it in. Um, we have gotten some really amazing feedback recently about just how much this is helping you on your spiritual journeys and how...

We had a number of people say that it feels like it's really kind of quickening their journeys and speeding things up and helping them to really grow exponentially. And- Oh my goodness. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing that. It really... It's so validating because sometimes we will start to wonder, like, are we, like, is, is this doing something for people?

Like- 

Tava Baird-: Other than 

Jennifer Taylor (2): us ... at least I tend to do that It's doing stuff for 

Tava Baird-: us. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah, exactly. And so it's, it's really wonderful to hear that, and I'm so glad that, you know, all of what it's, it is. It's doing so much for us that I was thinking, you know, even if everybody decided they hated us and didn't wanna do it, I would still be like, "Let's go on and pretend to podcast every week so that we can continue our growth," because the amount of growth that's happened [00:10:00] in these 100 episodes is just mind-boggling.

I, I just, I'm so grateful for all of it. I 

Tava Baird-: mean, if it wasn't for the podcast, we wouldn't have Power of Story because that came out of a podcast episode, and a need- Yeah ... to, to try to apply what had come through. And so, you know, now we've done, we did Power of Story at Green Hill Cemetery. We did it twice at, Fertile Ground Gathering.

we will be, doing the Angel Path at Mystic Fire this November, Jenn and Keith and I. That wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the podcast. You know, we have Power of Story recordings in the boot of our car to pull out at some point that, um, put out there.

And so, but all of that was generated, you know, doing live channeling with you all was generated from a podcast episode. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. So- So, so much of what we're doing, [00:11:00] Amnivara, and, um, even a lot of the Lilith stuff, a lot of this stuff came out because of the conversations that we were having together on this podcast.

So- Absolutely ... you know, you guys are a, a really a major part of this, and I'm so grateful to have you along on our journeys. And- It's really wonderful ... I love when you share your journeys with us as well. 

Tava Baird-: Yeah. It's, that's one of the wonderful things is to be... You know, I've had instances where I'll be at a market and somebody will walk into the booth and go, "I know that voice.

Are you Tava Baird?" You know? Or, I will be at an event and two people will be chatting about something, and I'll go, "Oh, that's really interesting." Like, you know, I'm k- "I'd love to know more about that." And they'll be like, "Uh, you guys did a whole episode that was based on this." You know? And I'm like, "Okay, so you guys remember better than we do."

That's, that's channeling for you folks. Um, [00:12:00] just the wonderful community that we've met, and it's only gonna grow, so. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. Absolutely. And thank you all for helping it grow. we really appreciate your recommendations to people, your sharing it. all that you can do to help other people find it who would be in resonance with these messages, we are really, really grateful for.

Tava Baird-: Absolutely. Well, uh, I feel like it's time for a birthday song. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): All right. 

Tava Baird-: So Happy 100th episode to us.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh. So I am really excited to see what's gonna come through today. I really, I feel like last week's episode with talking about the currents and the physical currents through our physical world and the Earth [00:13:00] and the materials around us, I... After going back and editing, and various conversations that have happened since that helped us to realize 

he was really very much talking more about the physical. Like, we talked about the physical some, and then we also talked about the, metaphorical kinds of currents. But it sounds like there's probably a lot more to dive into with these, these physical currents and feeling into those in our earthly, interactions.

And so I don't know what Michael and Samael have planned, but I've sort of put in a little request for some more information around that. So we'll see what happens. And I guess for singing, Samael... He's always so good with the requests, so if he has any requests for the focus of the song today, I'm happy to receive it.

Tava Baird-: He let me know shortly before we started that he [00:14:00] was ready. So- 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I love it ... 

Tava Baird-: he said, "Michael is knocking on the door." Yeah, I just got a little... So guys, ever since Ophan showed up, I've been getting these kind of intense energy bursts where I get dizzy sometimes when I'm doing the podcast that are not happening in other places in my life.

Um, and it was interesting because as soon as you started talking about singing, there was a... And then it stopped. And so I think, I think I'm getting a, like, something is coming thing. So I'm just gonna make notes today. 

when we talked about singing, the first wave came in.

Uh, so Samael, anything for song? So he said, "I have much to say, so grounding might be good." 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, boy. Okay. 

Tava Baird-: Does he not have [00:15:00] much to say? Right. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Wow. All right. So- He's laughing ... you know, usually the grounding is at the end of the episode. I think it's interesting that it's like we need, we need to go ahead... We always talk about buckle in.

Well, yeah, it sounds like we need to g- we need to get on all of our safety gear first now for this. 

Tava Baird-: Yes. Or maybe things are going in reverse today. Maybe we're going... Maybe we're gonna need grounding going in. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): All right. Very 

Tava Baird-: interesting. This would be interesting. All right. Well- Uh, so there's, there- ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): sounds like Michael is all ready too, so let's, uh, let's go.

Tava Baird-: All right.

[00:16:00] [00:17:00] [00:18:00] [00:19:00] [00:20:00] [00:21:00] Could I have about eight hours of you playing that flute and singing that song? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Sure. 

Tava Baird-: That was in... Like, I just need an album that's Jenn and the really big flute.

It's absolutely transcendent. I just felt everything go, [00:22:00] ooh. I'm so glad. And it was really nice. Oh my God, that was inc- what is that flute called? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): It's an, um, overtone flute. It's, uh- It's huge ... it's typically more of a Keith thing. Like, that's, that was, like, his... He discovered those kinds of flutes, and he usually plays it.

And, but as I was setting up the, the circle and things, it just... I was like, "Nope, I am playing that today." And so I was a little bit nervous, 'cause I never know exactly how well I'm gonna be able to play it. But I was like, "Oh, okay." Well, typically when Michael's saying play it, it's 'cause he's gonna basically play it.

So that makes it a lot easier. 

Tava Baird-: I have an absolute new favorite instrument of yours now. I think up, I'm thinking recently it's been that, the thing that sounds like a brook. Um- 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, yeah, the, um, seed, uh- 

Tava Baird-: [00:23:00] Yes ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): seed chimes. 

Tava Baird-: Lo- the seed chimes have been at the top of my list. Seed chimes is dropping down to a close second, 'cause overtone flute with your voice, oh my God.

Oh my God. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I, I love singing with it, too. When Keith plays that and I can sing with it, it's like, oh, I just, uh, it's such an amazing... Yeah, it's an amazing instrument. 

Tava Baird-: There we go again. Yep. Instrument. So I got two interesting things coming through. First, I noticed... So I've been making notes about when those waves come, and there's quite a bit today.

The first one was we t- started talking about singing. Then there was one during your setting up of the circle. I got heat all up and down the left side of my body, starting from the legs and moving upward. Then just before you sounded your first note, I got another wave. And just now, as we've kind of [00:24:00] stopped talking about the instrument and switching to a different topic.

So I'm getting the waves in places just before something comes in. And I'm gonna do this backwards. Samael actually commented on it. He said, "Umshallah, while it is true that I have shifted my energy towards you at this time, it is not Michael who is the culprit. The source is already inside the house.

Look to a New Energy whose presence burns bright in the moment before the next becoming." You have not spent enough time in the meeting of it.. So I think I'm getting waves, 'cause remember Samael talked about this New Energy being the moment before the word is spoken? I'm getting the whoop- Oh

right before we switch topics or right before music is about to play. I'm getting it in [00:25:00] those, pauses. I guess they're edge states, but I'm getting them in that pause before the next beginning. Is that 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, that's fascinating 

Tava Baird-: So it's not Michael 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Swaltes. Sorry, Michael.

He's like... Dude, it, it, it's funny. It had occurred to me when I was talking about that, like, you know, one of his big jobs is the filtering and deciding what should come through and what shouldn't, and I was thinking, well, you know, the idea of me telling him that maybe he's allowing too, like, I'm sure he's way more th- got it than, than I do with me telling him.

I'm... It's, it's really funny because that had occurred to me as I was talking about him. I was thinking, "Yeah, I, this is probably not right," right? 

Tava Baird-: Samael just said something that's basically making me face palm myself. He also pointed out, he said, "Watch and see when it happens." The place where the information about where this Energy [00:26:00] came through was your circle that I'm looking at directly behind you, and this is only happening on the podcast when you are in this room and I am looking at that place.

So I'm wondering if it's happening more when you are talking about going into the circle or about to walk into the circle or setting up the circle or about to sing, if that, if I'm getting like a oomph, 'cause I'm looking at where it happens. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. Well, and I'm setting up this, the sort of space that it happened in, too.

Tava Baird-: Uh-huh. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): You know, it's the stones and, you know, all of that. 

Tava Baird-: You're recreating the energetic space-

essentially, I'm going back to revisit the place it happened every time you set up that circle and I watch you do it. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. And if that's not energy that you're used to, that kind of, really blew your circuits at the time, and if that's not [00:27:00] energy that you've gotten accustomed to yet, then yeah, it's, uh, you're just getting hit with it every time.

Tava Baird-: Like through the energetic drive-through, and every time I do it going, "I wonder why this keeps happening?" I was going- 'Cause you keep going and watching to the same place. Oh, gosh. All right. Well, that's interesting. Um- 

I also have, you requested and he came through- 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yay ... 

Tava Baird-: more from Samael on energy. So here we go.

"We have spoken on the energy of place. There is more, however, to be considered. You must also take into account other workings, your own physical history, who is applying discernment, and the comfort with which you summon your magic. 

"Point, an angelic being working Dae magic in [00:28:00] the lost city will have very different abilities and results than a human working day magic standing in a park. Different energetic and material physiologies, different depths of knowledge, different environment, and different comfort levels.

This is why, while old written spells are of interest, they cannot be universally applied with reproducible results. The currents in which you are standing must be examined as much as possible. For beings such as Michael and myself, who can divide our energies and do many workings at once, our consciousnesses are designed to take these many factors into account.

Keep this in [00:29:00] mind when you seek to divide your energies in both the material and spiritual worlds. Focus and grounding are not just recovery. You must pull together before you pull apart, and then again in the after."

Jennifer Taylor (2): All right. The-- would you mind reading the very first, like the first paragraph before the, um, point again? I feel like there were- Yes ... things in that that I wasn't, I didn't totally grasp. 

Tava Baird-: We have spoken on the energy of place. There is more, however, to be considered. You must also take into account other workings, your own physical history, who is applying discernment, and the comfort with which you summon your magic [00:30:00]

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, okay 

Tava Baird-: this is really interesting to me as a member of the witchcraft community because, and you guys have heard me get on my soapbox before about this, this idea that just because a spell is old means it's better, right? And we tend to do this thing where we pop on the internet, and we grab a cord-cutting spell or a freezer spell or, you know, whatever it is that we want to use, and we tend to get into chat rooms and say, "Does anybody have a spell for X?"

And what Samael's pointing out here, which I hadn't really considered in depth before, is that the written words of a spell, I mean, we have tons and tons and tons of spell books available out there, and he's telling us to use the spell books differently, that the written words on the page of what [00:31:00] somebody else said may not be directly applicable or do much for us because that person had different experience with standing in different energetic currents, was working with different guides, or even if they were working with a similar guide or the same guide as you, they have a different relationship with that guide.

They were doing it in a different location, and their comfort level while doing the spell may have been completely different. Imagine the difference, imagine if everything else was the same, but you did a spell in your bedroom at home versus in a jail cell, right? You're going to have a different-- There's gonna be different energies moving through you.

And so we have this tendency to go, "Oh, this is a witch that I adore, and I love all of their books, and I am gonna repeat the [00:32:00] words that they repeat." And Samael's telling us that those words are great and informative, and especially if we are a person who is uncomfortable writing our own invocations or our own spells, that those are a wonderful starting point for us.

But we shouldn't limit ourselves to, "I'm gonna do what this person did, and it's gonna pull off this result," because we have to take into count the fact that we are a different person with different energies. So even though Samael would say he is a Dae Magic practitioner, and I am learning to be a Dae Magic practitioner, his abilities and effects are going to be very different from mine because I am currently in a body, and he is not.

And he has the ability to split his energy and be in multiple places. And he has the sort of mind, for [00:33:00] lack of a better word, where he can calculate all of these things, and his depth of knowledge is much, much greater than a human who is currently in a state of mostly forgetting. And he may be very, very comfortable doing something that I am uncomfortable doing.

So that all of these things, it doesn't mean What? He's saying it doesn't mean that his magic is greater. He's just saying that we need to take this into account, and not put aside the things that are unique to our own magic in favor of parroting somebody that we admire. Because there's a lot more going on in our...

There's a lot more going on around us energetically to consider. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. I, I really, I really love what he said and [00:34:00] what you brought through, and there are a couple of aspects of it that are standing out to me too, in that one was the, "and who is doing the discernment?" And, we always talk about that, 

I ask, Archangel Michael to do the discernment of holding that space and who should be coming in and out, what energies to allow in, what energies need to be, lifted from the space. And the way that he would do that discernment would be different than a different angel maybe, or a different guide, depending on who it is that you have holding the space and what your intentions are, that that would affect things as well.

And it looks like you're getting something good. I can't wait. I'll, I'll pause this while you're, uh, writing. 

Tava Baird-: He's almost done. Just had a couple of sentences in response to what you say. I love how this becomes a conversation between you and Samael at times. I love this. I'm sorry. Please continue. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, no. 

Do you wanna [00:35:00] share that before I say anything else? 

Tava Baird-: So that is an incredible point, and I could literally feel the energy in the room go whoop when you said it. You, you do this very differently than I do. You l- really release and let Michael... You'll say, "Michael, you decide what's in the highest good here, who's coming in, who's going out.

Like, I know you've got me." You're, you essentially trust fall into Michael when you channel. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. 

Tava Baird-: Right? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Exactly. 

Tava Baird-: I don't do that with Samael. He's in the room, and he's talking But I don't ever just let myself go. You know, I repeat the words and share the words that he wants with everybody, but I've never tried to just be like, "You decide."

I- maybe it's a fear factor of some sort. I don't know. [00:36:00] I... If you've ever been on a corporate retreat and there's somebody who just can't trust fall, that's kind of me. It just, there's something, I don't know, something in my makeup. So Samael was pointing this out as you were talking about you let Michael discern, and you have these amazing things that happen.

But I have always been a little bit like, "Hang on, let me look over my shoulder and make sure somebody's really there. Are you really there? Are you really..." 'Cause, you know, if I fall, I just, you know, I- I'm- ... nervous. And he said to me, "Let go, Umshallah. Perhaps the time has come to let the fear out and to let myself in."

Now, I don't know if he means him himself or something about me. I think it's in reference to him. But [00:37:00] it's just interesting that he said myself and not let me in. "Let go, Umshallah. Perhaps the time has come to let the fear out and to let myself in." So he is suggesting that I attempt to... I don't know, Samael, that might be too much like my birthday.

He just said, "And what is wrong with your birthday?" That was intense. The time that I was in the circle with you was so intense, and that's the closest, that's probably the biggest trust fall or closest thing I've ever done, and you do it all the time. And he's s- he's saying there are other factors to take into account, but look at the results that you have.

Oh, boy. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Well, I wanna say that it's easier for me because I have, at least at [00:38:00] this point, it's easier for me because I don't seem to have negative side effects. Like, I'll be really exhausted afterwards, but I don't have the intense physical reactions to it that you do.

And I'm wondering if it's repetition and getting used to it, or if you have the intense physical reactions because of the resistance. 

Tava Baird-: This is really interesting because just as you started to speak there, I got another wave, and like a wave of pay attention. Because of the... Oh, God. So,

this is bad because I want to know what's going to happen. My logical mind knows I can't predict what is going to happen

And what you're saying about the intense physical reaction... Oh my God, something just ca- Oh, God. [00:39:00]

Jennifer Taylor (2): Ah. Are we breaking you? 

Tava Baird-: Oh, no. I just realized what he's been talking about for a week Oh my God. Okay

Um, this might be too much background, about the things that I write. When we sat down to do the podcast today, friends, just before we actually clicked record, I was telling Jenn that I have been having-- You know, I write novels, right? And I wrote the first four probably, and then Jenn and Keith read them and said, "We're pretty sure parts of these novels are channeled."

And I was like, "Okay, yeah, maybe," you know? I have been working on the next one in my main series for a long time, but a lot of other [00:40:00] things have been happening at the same time. Um, you know, Lilith classes have gotten underway, and I just finished, I just finished illustrating Jennifer Jurlando's poetry book.

Okay, Samael, I will stop making excuses about why it's taking me so long. He just literally went, "Do not make excuses." Okay. So the point is, is that it's taken me, a long time. I haven't had large-- I hear you. I'm not making an excuse. I'm explaining. Um, I may need that song and that overtone flute again soon.

this novel, I turned Samael and Lilith into characters in the novel, and that makes sense because there are already characters in the novel that are aspects of my own personality, right? So, but Samael's been much more present for this one, where he will make commentary or tell me to put things in, [00:41:00] and there will be times when I go, I don't know how this is explained," and he will tell me, sort of like he does in the podcast, "Write this."

So he's not doing it all the time. There are pieces, particularly when I'm writing things that are supposed to come out of his mouth or Lilith's mouth, that he wants to make sure are written the way they are supposed to be written. Without giving away large parts of the plot, I would say over the last week to 10 days, there was a piece I had written of the novel that he was like, "Nope, needs to be redone."

And he had me pull it out, and instead it now has this massive explanation about energy in it, and talking about how energies move. So sort of the things we're discussing [00:42:00] today. one of the characters in there has, um Up until this point in the series, there has been the perception that energy is affecting this character in a particular way And what Samael says in explaining it in the book, which his character explains in the book, is that, "No, you're looking at it wrong.

It has to do with the way that this being was designed." And essentially certain things were restricted. And so when certain energies come in, he likens it to building a dam. That an energetic dam was built in this person, and that when these other energies come in, it is not them that is affecting the person.

It is that they can't-- the energetic current can't [00:43:00] flow through the person correctly. And what it's doing is rising up over the sides of the dam, and the dam is getting ready to burst. And as the dam gets ready to burst, the person is having wild fluctuations of mood and physical issues and, um, dizzy spells and all of these other things.

And it has to do with the fact that there is a resistance, which I just now realized when you said it, inside the character that the energy that's naturally supposed to move through is running into this dam. And because it can't flow the way it's designed to flow, the character is in distress and has been in distress.

So it's not unique [00:44:00] different incidents. It's the fact that it has to do with the flow. And s- as soon as you said resistance there, I was like, "Oh my God, you've literally been illustrating what happens when something is cut off, When a, stream is blocked, that eventually if you stay in that current, there's so much stress on it that things will start to malfunction."

And you just drew a parallel between what he had me write about a character that is an aspect of myself over the last seven to 10 days with what is actually happening to me. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Wow. That is fascinating. So really it's the resistance to whatever that block is that's causing the energy to build up or back up that's causing [00:45:00] all of the physical discomfort and the dizziness and the heat and the pain and all of that.

And so if that could be released and dissolved, you would be able to take in all this energy because it could flow in a healthy way. It is so interesting that you were just describing this whole thing and as like a dam and it building up. So I'm right actually in the middle of teaching a Reiki one and two course, and it's a wonderful group of students.

I am so blessed to have them, And a couple of the people have been having particular, issues with their body's response to the, attunements and the energy coming in to be able to channel Reiki because there's a lot of energy coming in.

So there's a lot that has to be released, a lot that has to be kind of rearranged in our physical bodies and in our energetic bodies in order to allow this major flow of new energy to come through. And [00:46:00] for some of them, it's a much easier process and physically they may be a little tired or whatever, but they're doing okay.

And for others, they have a lot of like, detox kinds of symptoms afterwards- Yes ... where all this stuff is being released and, one of the students had reached out and said that they were having, headaches. And so I had, made sure first that they were being well-hydrated, and they were.

And I suggested that a lot of times for headaches, what you do is you actually focus on the feet and on pulling energy down through the body and out through the feet because a lot of times the headache is actually a buildup of energy up in the head and if you pull that energy out and down through the legs, down out through the feet, the headache goes away.

And so they were like, "Okay, I will try it," and decided to try it. And this actually, this story goes perfectly with the other aspect I was gonna point [00:47:00] out that really stood out to me, which was the comfort level. And I kept trying to instill in them in the first couple classes to just relax and play with the energy and just there's no wrong- Yes

there's no right. just follow it, play with it, see what happens. And so they were like, "Okay, I'm going to do this, but I'm also going to maybe try to incorporate it into some of the things that I do already." And so the person had music playing and it was like basically just set to shuffle all the songs that they've ever liked on this app.

They started above the head , And instinctively we're doing Lilithian hand gestures for, balance as they were also flowing Reiki, and They said all the, the chakras, like, kind of lit up. And moving down, as they got to their heart chakra, it felt like it was stuck. like the energy didn't want to move. . And at that very moment, a song called "Open to [00:48:00] Love" came on, and they were like, "Oh my goodness, are you even kidding me?" So that came on, and there was this welling up of emotion and , the energy and awareness of needing to open to self love was coming through, and their heart chakra, opened, and the blockage dissolved, and their headache was gone.

And the energy moved. They've continued the process all the way down through their chakras, all the way down to their feet, but the headache was gone. And part of what they were expressing was not only like, "Oh my gosh, this actually worked. This really happened," but that they 

kind of trust fell into their own knowing and into being guided and let go of the idea of doing it wrong And the next thing you knew, ended up using Lilithian hand gestures along with, emotion and reiki and their knowledge of chakras, and it all came through.

And I've actually had two such instances just in the last couple days of [00:49:00] people who were saying from the class that they were like, I finally just let go and started to play and give myself, permission to be more comfortable with the idea of I have reiki and I really can use it in whatever way I'm guided to do it."

And as they did, were having amazing responses and amazing results. And so those, two things just... I was like, oh my gosh, it went so well with what he was just saying and what you were just sharing. 

Tava Baird-: That's incredible. It's... I feel very much like I... And I should say, uh, I don't know if you're up for this, but there's a couple paragraphs here from my working document from Book of High Places that is a conversation between Saorsa and Samael that is on this topic.

Um- Oh, wow ... would you like to hear a couple paragraphs and see? 'Cause I'd be curious to [00:50:00] see- Oh, yeah ... what you get off of it in light of what you just said. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Absolutely. 

Tava Baird-: Okay. So people, if you read this series and you do not want a spoiler, 

Skip ahead in the podcast 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I believe I figured out to Skip ahead to 58 minutes, 53 seconds, and I think you should be okay

Tava Baird-: because you are about to hear an explanation that you don't wanna hear if you want it to be a surprise, fast-forward and don't listen to this.

And 

Jennifer Taylor (2): just so you know, this is from The Book of High Places. So if you're like- This is Book of 

Tava Baird-: High Places ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I don't know which book or how close I am to it, this is The Book of High Places. 

Tava Baird-: Yeah. This is the book that will come out later this year. It is after Bonewitch. So this is, a secret, right?

If you're in book one, oh, dear God, you know, don't, don't listen. Um, if you are angry at me for not getting this book out faster and just wanna hear a little bit, [00:51:00] here we go. 'Cause there's no way I can mask what's going on once I start reading. Okay, so here we go. So this is Samael explaining to Saorsa what Helael's research into Lethia has led him to hypothesize about the original spell the magician used to break Alex into two entities.

Okay. And I'm not... I'm doing as little as possible here. So they talk a little bit about a previous book, and then Samael sat forward in his seat. "Let us move our focus to the present. The magician has Alistair with him in Faerie and Alexander on Earth, and then you enter his life and magic begins to arrive."

"Helael believes that there is one major difference in how Alistair and Alexander were created. Their minds are different. [00:52:00] The Fae process magic and language differently than humans.

Alistair appears to have his magic somewhat intact. But Alexander, in order to make him human, was starved out." "Starved out?" Samael met Saorsa's eyes. "Imagine young Alistair and Alexander's minds as healthy plants. The leaves pull in the rays of the sun. The roots pull in water and nutrients. Now imagine that, in the spell that split them, strong magical cords are tied around 25% of Alistair's roots.

He cannot process water and nourishment in the same way. He is somewhat hobbled, not at his full potential, but still quite magical." "And Alex?" Samael shook his head. "He needs less magical capacity to operate and [00:53:00] survive in a human world. And so 75% of his roots are blocked, obstructed, and that part of his mind and soul begin to starve."

Sorsha covered her mouth with her hand in horror. "Oh, my goddess." Samael continues, "The magical currents on Earth are poison to most Fae. Only the strongest can visit and stay for any length of time. This was not done to torture him, Saorsa. It was done so that he could survive there. He still carries ties to Alistair and certain Fae traits."

Samael sighed. "It was done so he could stay with his mother and live." Samael shifted in his chair and lowered his voice. "There have been side effects, of course. His communication is affected. He often feels like a foreigner among his own people. His mind tends to view the world as a hostile place. Had he been left alone, he might have made it on Earth for some time.

But [00:54:00] then," Samael spread his hands, "magic came calling." "The violet woman," Saorsa added. "The knife. Portals. Faerie. The Arcanum." "Each time Alexander is exposed to a strong magic, it attempts to flow through his mind and body, as it is designed to flow through a powerful magical creature," Samael explained. "But Alexander's capacity to process it has been largely cut off.

His mind has few channels to handle it. It overwhelms him and puts pressure on his sanity. His body and temperament cannot bear it, and he begins to fall apart." Samael clasped his hands together. "The magician built a dam in his soul." And with repeated exposure to harmonizing magics, that magical level rises.

With repeated exposures of late, Alexander's mind and body is ready to [00:55:00] burst. Once that happens, there will be no repairing it. Helael believes he will transform in unpredictable ways. Then he will die, and he will go violently insane as he does so. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Oh, boy So that's, that's an extreme case 'cause we're talking- Yeah.

Talking about 

Tava Baird-: somebody who is, you know, a fake thing Talking 

Jennifer Taylor (2): about a, 

Tava Baird-: a character in a fantasy novel. We're talking about somebody who is not entirely human. There's that same idea of the spell that was put in place to make him human essentially cut off 75% of the channels through which na- natural magic flow, or what we would call energetic flow, should go through.

And in his environment, in the streams or currents that he's standing in, those [00:56:00] magical levels, the, the intensity on the dam is getting higher and higher and higher as he's exposed to things that he was never meant to be exposed to in a human realm. And he starts to fall apart because of the blockages.

He can't, process it. He feels depressed. He sees the world as hostile that... Now, in his life, a lot of things have been coming to attack him, so fair game. It has been very hostile. Fair game, right? Um, but there is, you know, a paranoia that starts to set in, and this difficulty in connecting with the divine.

it's not the, you know, um... That character always thinks that God isn't listening to him. Well, 75%, essentially, of the way that divine energy is supposed to flow through him has been strangled. So when he does get something that comes in, [00:57:00] things are about to burst. And so whereas there were isolated incidents all through the series of, "Oh, we have this magical knife.

Oh no, his body and mind are freaking out, it's not that item per se, it's that he's being exposed to a higher current, and the resistance that was built into him to save his life at a young age is still there. Which makes me, of course, look at my own resistances and say, "What was built into me at a young age that needs to be untied, un-...

You know, what expectations do I have? Do I view the world as a hostile place? Is that why I can't let go and trust fall into an angel who has only proven himself? To be kind and loving and trustworthy. How can I [00:58:00] move to that next level of my own development until I find a way to slice those magical cords that are strangling me off of my roots so that what I was designed to do, so that things can flow through, so the little plant doesn't die," right?

So that this can come through. And so just that passage reminded me of what you were saying, you know? 

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. And I think so much of our experience In life is really a result of dams like that, you know, in places where we have, put up blockages or we have built, protective cages around parts of ourselves.

You know, the heart is one of the most common places that people do. The throat, is another huge one. the fear of, or, having learned at some time in their life that, speaking their truth, speaking their mind, [00:59:00] sharing their feelings only caused more damage or more assault or whatever it was, then, we learn, all right, well, we need to bar the doors, shut the windows, you know, to make sure that this can't happen again.

Or, our hearts were... You know, we open them and our hearts just seem like they're broken, and there's that sense of I'm just going to lock it down so that if I don't let anybody in, they can't hurt me. But ultimately, any time we have a place, and that can be, you know, in the sacral chakra from, sexual trauma and things like that, you know, there may be where it's, you know, our joy and our self-expression and our connection to our salt sexuality gets shut down and locked down.

Then wherever that is in our bodies, there's going to be a response because things get backed up. That area can't do what it's designed to do, and so other areas are trying to compensate. we get depleted or we get flooded. Um, [01:00:00] and ultimately through recognizing and releasing those, bonds, that while it's the thing that...

And it's to do that is often really, really frightening because, we may have spent years and years and years being able to use that as our proof of safety. and a lot of this, is subconscious, but on some level if we feel into it, we might recognize that we've done that.

Um, but that fear of how am I going to be if I let go of this? What's gonna happen to me if I let go of that? And a lot of times, and we talked about that actually in the spirit attachments, episode where we were talking about, that the spirit release a lot of times also is releasing these beings that we called in to guard ourselves.

to hold these things and that by being there, they're keeping locked and shut up something that now we really could handle, and we're ready for it. But there is that [01:01:00] moment of resistance and I think- That tends to happen in our lives too. when things need to change, things need to shift, but we're resisting them, oftentimes that's when, we develop an illness.

That's when something happens and, things get really bad and it's like, the universe pushes us to where if we don't make these decisions to unlock it on our own, the universe is going to push us to the point where the dam breaks so that it is released, 

And often those breakings, those rupture times are really, really hard. But from those, often the most growth and the best things come from that on the other side. You know, the times in Keith and our lives when we thought, "This is the worst thing that could ever possibly happen," have always ended up bringing about the best, most positive change.

But in that moment, [01:02:00] you can't tell that. It doesn't feel at all like that, and you can't feel really hardly any of it. And I always talk about, like, the goddess Kali, you know, comes in and if you're working with her consciously and you're saying, "Okay, what-- show me what needs to be released.

Show me what needs to be broken down and destroyed and, or, you know, released so that I can move forward," it's a much more pleasant process. But if you're resisting making those changes and looking at those things, she will eventually come in, or some other being like her will come in and go, "Okay, you weren't willing to do it, so I'm gonna do it for you," and knocks down all the walls, and it's a much more abrupt, disturbing kind of event when she has to come in and go, you know, "That's it."

You know? Uh, you know, "I'm, I'm taking it down." I think any time we come up upon, those things, it's really important to find some kind of [01:03:00] way to move through it, and that's a lot of what we do with reiki or with energy work or, shaman work. You know, there are so many different ways of doing this.

and sometimes it's different kinds of therapy. But, it's really important, and if we start to feel like things are backing up and getting worse, there's probably some deep resistance that needs to get released 

Tava Baird-: So two things as you were speaking. So as of late, I have been having a lot of difficulty holding things in my mind, and I've been going, "Oh, it's perimenopause," right?

That's what it is. Like I'm realizing today at different points on the podcast, I'm like, "I was supposed to check that date when I got home yesterday and let her know about it. Yep, didn't do that. Completely forgot until just now, like an hour in. Oh, wait. Oh my God, Jenn also asked for me to send her that symbol probably like a week ago.

I'm just now realizing I didn't do that either." [01:04:00] I used to be able to hold... I mean, I hold a whole universe in my brain that I'm writing about, but these things are starting to slip, and I was going, "It's perimenopause, uh-huh." And Samael right now is going, "Your mind, your mind, your mind." You guys wanna hear a really good one.

Um, there are two thrift stores near me, one in Berryville and one in Purcellville, and I was restoring a doll for a woman at one of them, and a woman who works at the other one had had a doll brought to them that had, the head was off. And they were about to throw the doll away, and she was like, "Wait, wait, wait."

And so she put it in a bag and got the manager's permission to leave it in the back room, and she contacted me and said, "I'm hoping this doll can be repaired. Can you come take a look at her?" Me a couple of years ago would not have made this mistake. I confused the two messages and wrote to the [01:05:00] woman at one place, "Sure, I'll be by on Thursday at 11:00," but instead drove to the other location, 'cause I had two thrift stores and two dolls.

So two... In theory there, there's rationale for it. But I showed up at the wrong thrift store and was surprised when that woman wasn't working, 'cause I thought I had made an arrangement to meet her and deliver her restored doll, when in fact, across town, there's a different woman waiting for me going, "Where the heck is Tava?"

And it took me like four days. It wasn't until I made a mistake again and wrote to the first... 'Cause I wrote the one woman. It's like, "Oh, you're not here?" And she's like, "It's my day off." And I'm like, "Well, I..." She's like, "Just for bringing them by, just leave them at the counter." I did not realize that I was talking to the wrong person until like four days later when I wrote the wrong woman again and said, [01:06:00] um, something about the picture you sent me of the headless doll, and she's like, "What are you talking about?"

And that's when I realized they were two separate and distinct people in two locations. I mean, they were both Blue Ridge Hospice thrift stores, and they both had conversations with me going about a doll. But things like that and like going, "Yes, I will get home and send this to you," and then it's just gone.

The number of times over the past couple weeks when my husband has said, "Call me at the base of the mountain so I can come out and help you unload." I have not been able to call him at all. I end up in the driveway going, "Oh, I was supposed to call him a couple minutes ago." And he's like, "Why can you not remember this?"

And I'm like, "I don't know." I feel like my memory has gone off a cliff in certain aspects. 

Jennifer Taylor (2): I am 100% with you, and I would love to know what Samael says is the reason. I am totally there. I am constantly going, "Oh [01:07:00] my gosh, I told these people I was gonna send them a link. I was gonna create the class and send them a link," and then it just didn't happen.

Like, there are so many things, even like I get up from the couch and walk over to the counter, and I've completely forgotten why I'm there or what I'm doing. it is so, so much worse than- 

Yeah ... 

it ever was. Like, you... Yeah, to an extreme, and I, yeah, I wonder if... Yeah, I would love to know what Samael says it's about because I am totally there with you on the memory thing.

Like, it's disturbing how bad it is. 

Tava Baird-: Yeah, and, and it, it's so bad. I was teaching a class out at the Inn on Sunday, and there were Lilithian students there talking about how they have arranged to come to Free Spirit Gathering and, help me out, and one of them said, "Yeah, 'cause you know your memory of late."

Like, my students are talking about the fact that my memory ain't good of late, and I'm like, "What is happening [01:08:00] to my mind?" Um- And Samael, just now, your mind, your mind. The other thing that this brought up when you were talking about the blockages was I was teaching a class up in Pennsylvania two weekends ago.

And, um, there's wonderful people that were in that class that have come to a couple other Lilith classes, and they live down near Virginia Beach. Well, I grew up in Virginia Beach, and, you know, I am no contact with my birth family. It's, I think, probably better for everyone. Um, but I, knew that area well and thought of it as home, you know?

And I have not been back there 

Jennifer Taylor (2): in 

Tava Baird-: y- at least, well 14 years at least, probably closer to 15. Because in my brain, I think of that area as belonging to them and where they are, and my [01:09:00] area is here. This is where my life is. Now I have students that live down in that area, and they contacted me and said, "We were so excited about last weekend's class that we came down here and went to the local metaphysical shop where we know the owner, and the owner is wonderful and would love to have you come down here and teach classes."

And my friend Kathy, who drives me lots of places, was like, "I will so go to Virginia Beach with you. Like, when are we going?" And I had this immediate gut reaction of, "I can't go there. Can't..." This, the same fears and things I had about myself from childhood, like all of this stuff just rose up. And I could hear Samael saying, "You can go wherever you wish."

And he started talking about [01:10:00] reclaiming that spaces don't belong 

Jennifer Taylor (2): to people. 

Tava Baird-: Like, I don't need to say I'm not allowed there because of the emotional response I have, right? As a matter of fact, that means my butt should get there so that I can walk in and walk out and say, "Everything's fine. I am fine.

Nothing happened. Samael is still with me." Or if something does happen, I handled it. You know, if I run into people that I used to know, I handled it. I-- That is where I need to go, and the way is open. There's a reason to go. I have enthusiastic transportation to get there. But there are . still things that I am working through that made me say that space is not for me.

And so when you were talking about these, you know, the things we did to safeguard ourselves at one [01:11:00] point, the entities that we called in to watch over us, it might be time to release them. And with Samael talking about the energies of place, what would the magic that I do, how much stronger might a Lilithian magic, which is not just rebellion but reclamation, be if I've performed it in a place I needed to reclaim?

My comfort level would be real bad, right? Not the same as working up here. But that, that struggle to move towards that reclamation I think would be an incredibly powerful and deep transformation. I just have to get up the nerve to do it. The way is open. I have to let myself fall. And Yeah, I don't [01:12:00] know.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. And in my experience, when the way opens, it's like that's the time. You know, it-- there's-- the universe brings to us, the opportunity when we're ready to handle it, we're ready to go there. You know, we don't feel ready, but when it's time to do it, it seems like the way opens.

And when we commit to doing it, it also seems like the preparation starts immediately. the energies come in to start teaching us the things that we need to start building up the strength or the knowledge or the skills or the tools or the techniques or whatever it is, that all of that energy starts to come in to immediately fill that path and support us on the way to it.

And that happens even, like when people sign up for Reiki classes, from the moment they register for the class, the energy starts working with them. And it starts working, it coming in [01:13:00] and starting to be like, "Okay, we're gonna need to shift this a little bit." And for some people, it can be really harrowing getting from that registration point to the class and showing up.

And because of that, there are a lot of people who don't end up showing up to class because they think, "" "Oh, it's a SIGN that I'm not supposed to do this," or, "Things are too rough. It's too difficult of a time for me to do it." But it's really all the stuff that's starting to MOVE and SHIFT And if you do show up things are gonna start to resolve.

it's amazing how showing up then, all of that was preparing for this, this moment and this connection. But then when they don't come to class, they just kind of s- and they are like, "Oh, you know, I'm gonna have to just reschedule it. You know, I'll, I'll g- I'll make the next class, uh, when things aren't quite so busy or aren't so crazy."

It, it's like that just keeps going, and the messages- Yeah ... keep getting stronger of, "No, you need to go." And the [01:14:00] need for it seems to grow while everything seems to still be getting more chaotic. And it's, it's so hard to try to tell somebody in that space, what you really need is to make sure you show up so that this doesn't continue.

You know, and some people do, but a lot of people who feel like they're in that place don't. But, I think, you're probably better off going ahead and committing to it, and starting to have the experiences, and know that it's preparation for that than to resist it. Because otherwise, it's likely to just keep coming up in a whole bunch of way.

You're just kind of prolonging that- 

Tava Baird-: Yeah ... 

Jennifer Taylor (2): that preparation time. 

Tava Baird-: Until I go violently insane. No, uh- Well, I mean, and the thing was, 

Jennifer Taylor (2): so- Thankfully not that character entirely ... 

Tava Baird-: they had the idea of, "You should come down and teach in Pennsylvania." One week later, they were talking to the, owner of that shop [01:15:00] within 48 hours.

Probably closer to 24. And then they came back up when I saw them again this last weekend. So they drove seven hours and took one class, drove four in another, four and a half to come up, and I'm like, "Wow, y'all cover some ground for Lilith classes," right? And they said, "Have you gotten to contact her yet?"

And I went, "N- no, not yet," right? Because I'm a... But here were these wonderful, joyous people offering me a place to be, to introduce me to people. They will, of course, attend. They've gotten the person who's gonna bring me there excited. The way could not be more open. It's just- It's the-- And Samael just said something.

He just said, "Be held. Be held. Be held." [01:16:00] It is my fear that in returning to a location where I did not feel held and seen, that all I have worked for and all of the-- all of this... I think a lot of my view of myself is tied up in how efficient I am and how strong my borders are, and what he's telling me is I need to go to that place and see that it's possible to be held there, and that it isn't the place, it's my memory of what happened there that I need to be able to release.

Um, that I need to go Do it anyway, even if I'm not 100% prepared. Do it anyway, even if I am still afraid. Do it anyway. Let's [01:17:00] fall off the cliff and trust that the wings will open instead of standing on the edge of the cliff when I know I have wings, telling myself that I don't. Um, and just I gotta learn to trust fall, man.

Jennifer Taylor (2): Yeah. And there is so much in that. You know, it's really interesting. I hadn't thought about that in terms of the number of times that I relied on or called out for Archangel Michael and was, was saved in those moments. And a lot of that happened before I got to this level of just trust and, really just blind faith with him at this point.

But I think about, When I was just absolutely terrified, I would call on him, and he would show up, and [01:18:00] he would be there, and he would help whatever it was. And I got so, so used to calling on him that when in dreams, when I was having, you know, nightmares or thi- well, I'd, I'd say they were nightmares.

They really weren't. like, actual beings were coming in, like malefic entities were coming into my dream state and attacking me, and in one case actually stepped into me, and I was battling for my life to get it out. And even in that dream state, I was able to call him in. I couldn't remember the words to the spirit release or anything, but I could get out the words Michael, and he came in and helped me to, fight myself free, to get free.

And so I think I have such a comfort level in, in just- Letting go and knowing that he will be here, and when he is here, if I ask him to help [01:19:00] me, he will. And as long as it's in my highest good. And I also recognize that if for some reason I do fall, it's because he knew that's what needed to happen for my highest good, too.

But I realize, you know, it didn't, it wasn't sort of a matter of him showing up and like, "Oh, I'll channel you, and, you know, I'll bring through your voice," but it was the number of times that I called on him and he showed up, and he, he saved me in those times. He empowered me or he helped me to find my own strength and make sure that things were okay.

So, you know, definitely give yourself a lot of grace, and we need to all give ourselves a lot of grace when we, compare or judge ourselves or, look too harshly at ourselves for not having done things before we're ready or before, uh, now, and when we learn something different and now we're in a new place.

Um, because I mean, I've certainly had [01:20:00] lots and lots of years of developing this relationship, and you've only-- you know, it really hasn't been that long that you've even been aware of Samael. So, I think it's wonderful and amazing that you're ready to start doing that now, and we'll just honor that and be really excited about what this trust fall's gonna bring.

And, speaking of just waiting and being excited for the future, this is going to be the end of this episode, and we will continue this conversation right where we left off next week. but of course, we don't want to leave you without a song and so I decided that the best match for this felt like a song that I channeled, as a collaboration between the Stones of Place from Vermont, Archangel Michael, and Samael. And this is an energetic transmission of divine support creating a [01:21:00] refuge for you in the storms of life. And it's called "Refuge in the Storm," and I have it on the Bandcamp as well.

I hope that you enjoy and you feel the presence and their support. Until next time

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