The Myth of Unexplained Infertility & Finding Grace in the Foster Care System: Rachel F's Story

When personal drive hits the barrier of unexplained infertility, how do you pivot? 

In this Quiet Connection episode, Chelsea joins Rachel Fulginiti, voice actor and host of From Foster 2 Forever podcast. Rachel discusses the agony of fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and a life-altering heterotopic pregnancy.

Beyond trauma, Rachel details her mindset shift from failed IVF debt to the foster care system. Highlighting "divine timing", from her daughter’s name to a safe-surrender miracle, her story shows that while arrival paths vary, love finds its way home. 

This conversation tackles perinatal shame, offering hope for those still waiting for their family.

Key Takeaways

• The Flaw of the "Hustle" Mindset in Fertility: As a freelance performer, Rachel was conditioned to work harder to get results. She learned that fertility and healing require shifting from an aggressive "doing" state into a soft, receptive "allowing" state.
• The Silence of Reproductive Loss: Rachel and Chelsea highlight the traumatic medical protocols surrounding pregnancy loss—specifically the agonizing silence of an ultrasound technician and the isolating medical aftermath.
• Foster-to-Adopt is About the Child First: A pivotal turning point for Rachel and her husband occurred when they realized fostering wasn't about protecting their own hearts from breaking; it was about providing a safe, temporary, or permanent landing pad for a child who needed security.
• Divine Timing & "The Right Baby": Despite the circuitous and traumatic roadblocks, Rachel’s children arrived with undeniable signs—including an identical match to a secret journal entry name and a safe-surrender birth on her husband's exact birthday.

Transcript

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Chelsea Myers (00:01.384)
Hello! Today I'm here with Rachel. Rachel, how are you?

Rachel Fulginiti (00:02.062)
Hello, today I'm here with Rachel. Rachel, how are you? I'm good. I'm actually good. I just worked out and got a shower in and I'm feeling pretty good. Thank you.

Chelsea Myers (00:12.868)
my God, you are way ahead of me. my goodness. I just got the kids out the door and ready for school and I'm already exhausted. So I'm gonna try to steal some of your energy this morning. Well, I'm really excited to have you. I'm excited to get to know you a little better. And in that vein, I'd love it if you could introduce yourself to my listeners and let us know who you were before you were a parent.

Rachel Fulginiti (00:22.318)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (00:36.866)
This is letter from you.

I love that start. That's really awesome. So my name is Rachel Fulginiti and I am the host and creator of a podcast called From Foster to Forever. It's about fostering to adopt children. I adopted my children through the foster care system and then felt just so passionate about letting people know that there are good experiences out there and that it is a really, really important thing that

We need more foster parents and you can adopt from foster care. I did twice. So that's who I am currently. Before I was a parent and still, but things have changed. So I've been an actor my entire life. Went out to LA about 20 years ago and tried to pursue acting after having been an actor in Manhattan for 10 years.

And it was like starting over again. It was very difficult. But I met my husband 30 days after I was out there and I became a, yeah, I know, like jackpot. I wasn't going out there for a relationship. I was purely focused on my career. And then I met this guy and I was like, my God, we were married like two years later and we were just having the time of our lives. Like I was an actor, he was a drummer.

He was traveling all over the place. was opening for Ricky Martin and like, was getting to do all that and like, you know, do my own things. I was in like a, a horror punk band myself and we did some touring and, cause I had done a lot of performance art. so it was super fun, but we, I wasn't getting anywhere in my acting. wasn't like making money and I had to, at a certain point I was like, I have to figure out what I'm going to do to like make money.

Rachel Fulginiti (02:37.966)
And I thought about, huh, when I was in New York City, people would always ask me to do their phone line or to announce this, you know, something for some show that they were doing or whatever it was. And so I thought maybe I could make money doing voiceover. And so I thought about voiceover and I also thought, what else do I love to do? I love to read. Maybe I could make money reading books.

So I became a voice actor and an audio book narrator. And it was just fantastic. I went from being like broke all the time to feeling like I had become a doctor. Because I was like, oh my God, I could like make money doing what I went to college for and conservatory for and like all this stuff. And so we were just having the time of our lives. We were dinks as they call it, like double income, two kids. And we were having a

Chelsea Myers (03:19.486)
Ha!

Chelsea Myers (03:30.672)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (03:34.51)
fantastic time. But then as I started approaching 40, I was like, think if we're gonna try to have kids, like we probably should start thinking about doing that soon. And that's when everything started to change. And that's when I really entered a completely new phase of our lives. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (03:59.846)
Yeah, yeah, and we're gonna 100 % get into that. Just have to say I am so vibing with that like pre-parent lifestyle. Like my husband's a drummer, like I, my God, like and hearing that you like, you got to like play with Ricky or he got to play with Ricky Martin, who was just in the Super Bowl halftime show yesterday as we're recording.

Rachel Fulginiti (04:07.093)
man.

Rachel Fulginiti (04:11.142)
Yeah.

nice!

Rachel Fulginiti (04:21.622)
Yeah. Yeah, I know. We were like, my god, that's Ricky Martin. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (04:25.598)
It's pretty I know I'm an elder millennial and I'm like, that's that's Ricky Martin. It was like my childhood awakened. But yeah, no, like, yeah, I'm totally vibing right now. This this this is gonna be good. So yeah, so you talked about like you were approaching 40 and there's that there's the whole like cultural thing about like the internal clock. Prior to that, though, like

Rachel Fulginiti (04:31.712)
I don't

Rachel Fulginiti (04:41.649)
Hahaha!

Chelsea Myers (04:54.002)
Were kids something that were always on your agenda?

Rachel Fulginiti (04:57.708)
You know, it's funny. I always thought that I would have kids like I, I never thought that I wouldn't have kids, but I never thought about it like seriously. It was kind of this thing that was like far off and like, yeah, someday I'll have kids. Like, of course I'll have kids. I come from an Italian family. It's, you know, everyone loves kids and it's, it's just a thing. But yeah, like I, I just kind of thought I would, and I didn't think anything of it beyond that, if that makes sense.

Chelsea Myers (05:28.03)
that makes total sense. Just kind of like it was in the picture. It just wasn't necessarily like a written down plan. Right? Like, yeah. Yeah. I also come from an Italian family. This is this is this is yeah, these are some good connections this morning. So I feel that. So talk to me about that a little bit. You met your husband, like you said, you were married within two years, you're approaching 40. What was that discussion like? And and how did that journey unfold for you?

Rachel Fulginiti (05:29.23)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (05:34.102)
Yep, exactly.

Wow.

I know.

Rachel Fulginiti (05:57.582)
Yeah, so I was the one that started driving the ship. He was really kind of like, he could have not had kids and he would have been okay with it. But he didn't necessarily not want kids. just wasn't, he was like, I'm so happy right now. Like we're having so much fun. And I kept saying, well, I know we are, but what's our life gonna look like in like 10 years and 15 years and 20 years if we

don't have a family. I just kept feeling like it would be so lonely. I thought about, as an Italian, thought about holidays. And I thought, I grew up with just the best memories of all our cousins and presents. And every holiday, we all got together. And I really just felt like something would be lacking in the future. That it was OK for us not to have kids right now. But in 10 years, I don't think that I'll feel that way.

Chelsea Myers (06:35.921)
you

Rachel Fulginiti (06:56.158)
And so he heard that and he was cool with it. So he was like, all right, you know, let's start trying. But we really, we were just like so casual about it. We were just like, yeah, let's just stop using protection and like, you know, just see what happens. And well, nothing happened for like a year. Nothing happened. And we were still kind of like, okay, whatever. then

Chelsea Myers (07:16.434)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (07:22.798)
started thinking like, yeah, maybe we should start looking into this because it's been a year. And come to think of it, I've never gotten pregnant in my life. And there are probably times when I maybe thought that I could have gotten pregnant and I didn't. So let's start to look into it. So I think it was at like a year and half that we decided, yeah, let's go see a fertility expert and just find out where we're at. So that's how it went down.

Chelsea Myers (07:49.043)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (07:52.872)
So you started looking into fertility, like what could be maybe causing this. still feels like, correct me if I'm wrong, it was still kind of low pressure. It was still kind of like, well, we'll figure this out. Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (08:06.368)
Yes, it was was low pressure for quite a while. We were both very, very casual about it. And then what happened is we tried an IUI first. don't know if your listeners are familiar with what that is. OK, they are good. So we tried that and it didn't work. And that's when I started getting a little freaked out because I was like, wait a minute.

what's happening. There was nothing. They couldn't tell us it was unexplained infertility is what started to emerge as the diagnosis, which is not a diagnosis and made me so angry. I was like, what do you mean unexplained infertility? Like that doesn't help me at all. Like what does that even mean? Well, it just means that we don't know why you're not getting pregnant. Like, you know, okay, thanks.

Chelsea Myers (08:36.509)
Hmm.

Chelsea Myers (08:41.628)
Nope.

Rachel Fulginiti (08:59.768)
So we, that's when I started, I kind of kicked into hyper drive, which, you know, in my career, for instance, my whole adult life, I had to really work and hustle to make things happen as an actor, as a freelance performer. And I was able to do that. And in fact, pretty much everything that I ever wanted to do, I could somehow.

make it happen. You know what I mean? Not exactly, not exactly like I didn't get everything I ever wanted. But but I was pretty good at like setting my mind to something and making it happen if I could. And so I went into that mode. Come to find out like years later, upon reflection, like that was not the mode that I probably even needed to be in. I needed to be in a more receptive mode. But I was all about this energy of like, let's do this. So I read every book I

You know did everything I did all the research I took my temperature every morning I you know we stopped drinking we stopped you know using cannabis we did everything like right that we were supposed to do and and still nothing and. You know for someone like me that that starts to get I mean I think for anyone.

But particularly for me, it got really, really, really hard because I was like, what is happening? I'm doing everything right. Nothing is working. And I had that biological clock that was ticking and ticking and ticking. I'm getting older and older. I'm now approaching 40, and this is still not happening. I might have even been, I guess, 40 at that point. Yeah, it was scary.

It became, I became a little bit crazy to be honest about it. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (10:50.906)
about Yeah, you you are a goal setter, it sounds like and and it makes perfect sense like you work hard to get the life that you want to have. And so when you're going through this, and it's not, you're doing all the things, I'm curious to like, you're sort of alluding a little bit to how it impacted your view of yourself. Maybe if we can dig into that a little deeper, and I'm also curious, because your husband, like you said, could have

Rachel Fulginiti (11:01.848)
Thank you.

Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (11:13.326)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (11:20.198)
taken it or leave it or left it, know, like the whole dad life. So how was that kind of impacting how you saw yourself and how what was his reaction to the struggle?

Rachel Fulginiti (11:22.86)
I'm here.

Rachel Fulginiti (11:33.546)
Yeah, I think I took it on as a personal failure, which again, like logically, I knew that that wasn't true. But emotionally, it felt like that it felt like I wasn't capable of doing this thing. And it really triggered me a lot like I had trauma in my background. And so

It just triggered all my feelings of like low self-worth, not being able to do this thing that should be the most natural thing in the world. Like what type of woman am I? How is my husband feeling that he married somebody that now is not able to, you know what I mean? Just that whole train of thought, which wasn't helpful at all, but I just couldn't get out of it at that time. It was really hard. then,

for my husband, like he was still okay, still okay, but watching me go through that was really difficult for him. And then I think he had sort of invested at a certain point and that it became really frustrating and sad for him too. So luckily our relationship is so strong still to this day that we really...

Chelsea Myers (12:49.543)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (12:57.568)
were able to come closer together with all of these struggles. I know for a lot of couples that actually pulls them apart. But for us, it really just reminded us like, hey, we have each other. And that's a lot. Some people never get that in their lifetime. And we have each other and we think we consider each other soulmates. So, wow, we already won the lottery. So let's try to be positive about this. But it was was hard.

Chelsea Myers (13:13.459)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (13:25.736)
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm curious too, like I'm so glad that you did lean into each other more. sounds like it, like exactly like you said, it brought you closer together. made you stronger. Did you know anyone else at the time who had gone through fertility struggles? Did you have anyone you could confide in or ask questions?

Rachel Fulginiti (13:27.256)
Yeah.

Hmm

Rachel Fulginiti (13:50.28)
You know, it's funny. I did know people that had gone through fertility struggles, like, all of them had a happy ending or like they all had like, they eventually got pregnant. Like I knew a very good friend of mine had trouble and then ended up getting pregnant naturally. I had a couple of friends who had done IVF and it worked for them.

Chelsea Myers (14:00.968)
Hmm

Rachel Fulginiti (14:18.038)
So I think that's one thing that happens is the narrative out there is very much like you only hear the stories or you mostly only hear the stories that are successful, right? Because nobody else is like itching to like post, just did IVF and it didn't work. You know, like it's more just like, thank God I did IVF. So you know what I mean? So it was very, very difficult.

Chelsea Myers (14:29.693)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (14:34.59)
Yes.

Rachel Fulginiti (14:44.942)
Seeing it on social media, seeing people pregnant, seeing the sonogram or the ultrasounds and the baby showers that I was invited to and always having to be gracious and, you know, and then having people, what about you? What are you guys gonna do? You know, always asking. Like I remember telling some of my good friends like, hey, listen, like, don't ever ask.

a woman, like when is she going to have a child because it's you just don't know the story there. Just don't ask if she doesn't bring it up. Just don't ask. It's not your business. And it could be really painful. You know, yeah.

Chelsea Myers (15:28.402)
Yeah, you hit on so many good points that are not talked about. A, I am a huge, huge supporter of the, please don't ask women or, or any, about anything about their reproductive lives at all. No, no, no, their bodies, their reproductive health, their any, it's just like, when are you going to have kids, especially like at weddings? Okay, when's the baby come? Like, are you kidding me? I'm at a, we just got married.

Rachel Fulginiti (15:43.928)
Yes, their bodies about anything. Just don't, don't ask.

Chelsea Myers (15:58.07)
so I'm right on board with you with that. It's also you, you hit the nail on the head that the stories that we hear about infertility are the ones that have the happy endings. Most of the time. It's like, had unexplained infertility. I tried for years. I did IVF. It failed a couple of times. And then I had my baby and we don't hear the stories of, yeah, no, I didn't. It didn't work for me. And

Rachel Fulginiti (15:59.214)
I'm right on board with you.

Rachel Fulginiti (16:03.502)
Thank you.

Rachel Fulginiti (16:13.016)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (16:19.298)
Yes.

Chelsea Myers (16:27.452)
and it's not uncommon. It is happening and it is deeply personal. I just, I love that you brought that up so honestly and so vulnerably, especially talking about how you felt attending like baby showers and things like that. Like, I'm sure there were so many things you wish you could have said. Like, no, I'm gonna sit this one out, please. yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (16:45.443)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (16:49.486)
Yeah, yeah, it was really hard. I realized like later, you know, I probably could have done that. Like I could have just not gone to the baby shower if it was that painful for me. But you know, I'm a shower upper. I'm a supportive friend. I'm like, you know, so I would always put my own feelings to the side and just go and smile and be the good guest and give the good present and.

all of this stuff because that's what I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chelsea Myers (17:21.928)
just who you are. Yeah, yeah, you're a supporter even when you're struggling with your own things, you just you show up. So so let's, let's go a little further down the path. Things aren't turning out the way that you expected. And you have all of this, this voice, not all of this, but you have this voice in your head saying some pretty mean things to you about yourself.

Rachel Fulginiti (17:29.582)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (17:33.742)
I'm gonna and see what I found.

Rachel Fulginiti (17:46.508)
Yeah. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (17:48.742)
When does the narrative start to shift? When does the plan start to shift?

Rachel Fulginiti (17:54.986)
Great question. first I have to say, because it ends up being like a long and circuitous story. So I don't want to take all day, but we ended up stopping everything, stopping all the treatments, stopping doing everything. We hadn't done IVF yet, but I stopped taking my temperature every day. I stopped doing all the stuff. The only thing I was doing was acupuncture.

Chelsea Myers (18:03.084)
Ha ha!

Rachel Fulginiti (18:21.102)
and I ended up getting pregnant and I couldn't believe it. I could not believe when I peed on that stick and I saw that it was positive and I told my husband and he couldn't believe it. And then we were so happy and just so relieved that what did we do? We went and we called everybody and we just started telling everyone, we're pregnant, yay! You know, like I called my family back in New York, I was still in Los Angeles. And, know, yeah.

Chelsea Myers (18:23.166)
Mmm.

Chelsea Myers (18:39.026)
Yep.

Rachel Fulginiti (18:50.126)
I was so happy. remember feeling, you know, one day after that, it was like, I just felt so happy. I was laying in bed and I never really let myself lay down. And during the day, I was laying down, I was like, wow, it's it's happening. Like, I'm so happy just for that one day. And the next day, we had we had tickets to bring my husband's father to

Chelsea Myers (19:11.5)
Mm.

Rachel Fulginiti (19:20.11)
like a horse race and he's like super into that. So we're like, all right, let's go. And when we went there, I was just feeling extremely exhausted, like so tired that I was like, I can't even deal. But what did I do? I rallied and I hung out and I stayed the entire time because that's what I do, right? That's what I do and he's here and he's visiting and I...

Chelsea Myers (19:44.434)
That's what you do, yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (19:48.43)
I want to make sure that he's having a good time. yeah, so I was quiet about it, but I was not feeling well. After that, for about several weeks, was in, and this is how far my, I don't know if it's denial or what it was, I was in severe pain. Like I would be doing my normal, you know,

Chelsea Myers (20:10.46)
Hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (20:15.47)
two and a half mile hike that I did in Elysian Park, like uphill. And I literally be like, oh my God, I can't even walk, like I can barely walk. But did I go and like check it out? No, I didn't. I didn't. just was like, maybe this is how you're supposed to feel. You know, I've never been pregnant before. I don't know. Yes, I'm tired. Like, yeah, it's really sad. I didn't. I didn't. And I was in a lot of pain. And then

Chelsea Myers (20:35.292)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (20:44.482)
Finally, we got to my first ultrasound. another mistake I made is I went by myself. So Joe, my husband, he had to work. And I was like, don't worry, honey, it's fine. Just I'll go and I'll send you pictures. And it's so cool. Because I just thought, for sure, this is it. And this is going to be amazing. And we're doing this. And sadly, when I went in for the ultrasound,

You know, it was the whole thing where I'm chatting with the nurse, I'm on the table and all of a sudden she stops talking. I'm like, what's happening? And she's going over it and over it and looking at something that I can't see. And then she's like, hang on just a second. I'll be back. And she goes out and then she brings somebody else in and they're both looking at it and looking at it and going over it and over it. And I'm just sitting there silent, like what is going on?

And then eventually they finally told me that there was no heartbeat and yeah, it wasn't a viable pregnancy. And so that was like extremely heartbreaking, heartbreaking. Like I was a wreck, like I lost it. And the facility, the people there really did not know how to handle it or how to handle me. did not, they just didn't even...

Chelsea Myers (22:04.805)
Mmm. Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (22:08.946)
like I just I excuse myself and went to the bathroom or I guess it was over and then they were like you can go the bathroom to get changed and I lost it in the bathroom and then I was just bawling my eyes out and I remember walking out and it was this long hallway and I just remember the and I was sobbing and I just remember the people at the desk like just looking at me and just like and like just letting me go and I mean can you imagine that?

Chelsea Myers (22:33.308)
Ugh.

Well, sadly, yes, because it's this is this isn't the first time I've heard a story like this and I feel like the

Again, I don't like to put my opinions, I don't like to insert my opinions, but to hear so many women and birthing people describe the experience of going to the ultrasound and that silence that you talk about and the like, okay, I'm gonna go get someone else. I understand that an ultrasound.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:05.55)
No, I'm not telling you!

Chelsea Myers (23:07.184)
I understand that an ultrasound tech isn't supposed to like tell you things. I just truly feel like there could be a different protocol in those situations. And, and I think that there are probably places that exist that do have like a quiet room where you can, but I've heard time and time and time again, it got quiet, it got awkward. They told me my baby had no heartbeat and then I had to go.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:16.876)
Yeah. Agree.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:25.678)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:36.93)
Yeah, they didn't even say anything like, do you want to talk about it do you want to, like a quiet room, do you want to take some time? Just go get dressed, okay.

Chelsea Myers (23:49.042)
Right. And so when you say like, can you believe that? Sadly, yeah. And that is so heartbreaking to me, especially, I mean, any situation like that is completely heartbreaking. But especially like in your case, where you had been killing yourself, like doing all of the things to make this happen and it finally happened and for them to just be like, kind of like you just weren't there.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:54.103)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (23:58.702)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (24:09.26)
Yes.

Rachel Fulginiti (24:18.818)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which again was super triggering for me because as a young person, that's what happened with my trauma. I mean, that was just completely repeating a pattern for me of being invisible, like suffering like this horrible trauma and everyone acting like it didn't happen. like it, yeah, just like a real mind F if you know what I mean.

Chelsea Myers (24:20.113)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (24:41.671)
Ugh.

Chelsea Myers (24:47.17)
Yeah. Yeah, sent you back to a really, really uncomfortable place. Yeah. I, ugh. So I would say I'm, I would say, I do say I'm sorry that you experienced that. I'm sorry for every, every person that has to experience that. Like I said, it doesn't seem like it would be that difficult to come up with a different protocol that, that kind of doesn't leave you feeling

Rachel Fulginiti (24:48.266)
Yeah, so that was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was.

Rachel Fulginiti (25:02.414)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (25:11.234)
Right.

Chelsea Myers (25:15.75)
just like a body on the table, you know? Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (25:18.062)
Yes. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I wonder if they could like have a button and press the button for somebody else to come in so that that person doesn't have to leave. And maybe to just inform you like, listen, I just want somebody else to take another look at this. you know, I mean, I don't know how you could do it to make it because it's still going to be painful. But it doesn't have to be like you're saying to make the woman feel like she's invisible. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (25:28.369)
Yeah

Chelsea Myers (25:38.515)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (25:44.422)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I am so thankful that you shared that part of your journey with me. Because I, like I said, I know bits and pieces of your story. But one of my goals when I do these is that I learn as little as I can because I want to learn with you along with my listeners. And that's not that is such a difficult thing to share that experience. And I know that that's going to resonate with so many people.

Rachel Fulginiti (25:54.39)
like it's

Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (26:03.138)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (26:14.59)
As awful as it is to say like you're not alone in that you're not alone in that and maybe there's maybe there's some I Don't comfort in solidarity. I Personally, I have not experienced that but I have talked to so many moms and birthing people who have experienced that so

Rachel Fulginiti (26:21.262)
Thank you.

Rachel Fulginiti (26:27.906)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (26:35.043)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (26:37.436)
Thank you for sharing that part of your journey. for, I love that you took control over that. Like totally took us down a different path than I was intending because we needed to go there. We needed to go there to get to where we're headed. Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (26:48.238)
Yeah.

Yeah, and honestly, Chelsea, without taking too much time, again, it doesn't even, the story doesn't really end there, that part of the story. I ended up needing to have a DNC to remove the pregnancy. I was advised to do that because they said, you you could pass it naturally. It's gonna be very painful, very bloody.

Chelsea Myers (27:06.942)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (27:18.222)
sorry to be graphic, but like it's the doctor is like, I just recommend that you have a DNC, which now would be illegal in some states, just putting that out. So I said, okay, my husband and I decided let's put it behind us. Everyone was like, at least you know, you can get pregnant. know, like that was like the thing everyone said, you know, like everyone said. Okay, so I go, have the DNC. I come back.

Chelsea Myers (27:25.542)
Yep. Yep.

Chelsea Myers (27:35.998)
UGHH! Yes!

Rachel Fulginiti (27:46.638)
home and I am in so much pain I can't even describe the pain I was in. Goes into the night I start vomiting profusely over and over and over again throughout the night in so much pain I can't even deal. We get to the morning and we call the doctor like there's something going on like she is not my husband calls like she's not OK bring her to OK you need to bring her to go get.

Chelsea Myers (27:59.998)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (28:14.688)
another ultrasound, blah, blah. So we go trekking back up to the doctor, get another ultrasound. Nobody can figure out what's happening, but I am in like, like you would just press on my belly and I would just be in super severe pain. They finally admit me to the hospital. They do a five hour exploratory surgery surgery. And I find out later after the fact.

that it was another pregnancy. I had had a heterotopic pregnancy, a pregnancy outside of my ovary. So not even in the fallopian tube. Yeah. And they took my, my fallopian tubes while they were in there. They took one actually, cause he just said it wasn't viable. And so I get this news on the phone of like, it was actually another pregnancy and we had to take a fallopian tube and

Chelsea Myers (28:47.602)
my gosh.

Rachel Fulginiti (29:10.382)
you will likely never get pregnant naturally. you just, that's not gonna happen. So that again was like a super traumatic moment that I went through. Again, I was alone. I happened to receive that call when I was home alone. Perfect. And so, yeah, so then we were reckoning with that. Doesn't end there though. Decided I heal up from that surgery that the doctor advises the only way that you...

Chelsea Myers (29:24.123)
Of course.

Rachel Fulginiti (29:38.292)
might be able to get pregnant is if you take out the other fallopian tube and then you do IVF and that you know you might get it that way. So after healing and all of that and then I get the other fallopian tube removed we try IVF. We went through it twice and it didn't work either time. So again like the

length of time and the amount of trauma and you know, what my body had to go through the whole thing. It was just so, so, so, so dark and exhausting. found out, and we had no money. were at this point in like severe debt, especially over the IVF, which we had done on a credit card. At the time, there was only one company that would do these IVF. was specific for IVF and we didn't know until later.

that they compounded the interest daily. So we were just swimming in debt and we were just, yeah, it was just so bad. We found out right before Thanksgiving that year that the second one didn't work and that was our final thing. And so that was like super dark holidays that year. And, you know, that's when we...

Chelsea Myers (30:38.889)
my god.

Rachel Fulginiti (31:02.496)
started finally thinking about adoption, because it was like that was the end of the road. There was nothing else that we could do in terms of a biological pregnancy.

Chelsea Myers (31:10.278)
Yeah. yeah. So you it's one thing after another that that when it rains it pours and then I cannot believe that you kept getting these hits when you were on your own and and having to deal with that.

Rachel Fulginiti (31:14.88)
It's one thing that... Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (31:27.378)
Were you finding any sort of comfort or support? I know we come from Italian families and they like to surround us and feed us and do all the things. Were you finding any comfort in your village?

Rachel Fulginiti (31:35.438)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (31:41.004)
It's funny because all my entire family is in New York and I was in Los Angeles. So it was, it was really hard. I didn't really have family. did have friends and the friends were very supportive. hadn't necessarily been through what I had been through. hadn't been through what I had been through, but we're supportive nonetheless. And I'm, grateful for that. yeah.

Chelsea Myers (31:45.598)
Hmm

Rachel Fulginiti (32:09.442)
But at that time also, people weren't talking about this. They weren't sharing about it on social media or anything like that. So I really held a lot of it just internally. There was still a certain amount of shame involved, even though that's irrational. it just was. yeah, the idea of like, wow, we can't.

what are we really here for? At the end of the day, everyone says we're here to procreate. And if I can't do that, what are we here for? So that was hard. we took some time and then we started looking into adoption and all the various ways that you can adopt.

Chelsea Myers (32:40.094)
Mmm.

Chelsea Myers (33:00.934)
Yeah, I want to get into that. But I also want to acknowledge too, like hearing you say that those thoughts are irrational. I think they're totally rational. They may not be true. They may not be true things. But I think, especially like you're talking about

Rachel Fulginiti (33:12.696)
Mmm.

Chelsea Myers (33:17.082)
Well, and it's still it's much better than it was. But there is still so much stigma and there is still so much internalized shame. I think those are totally rational thoughts. They just they weren't true. And that's what we're trying to do. Right. That's why we're talking about it so that the next person who hears your story is like, it's not just me. This isn't my fault. Right. And it just

Rachel Fulginiti (33:29.454)
Right.

Rachel Fulginiti (33:33.006)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (33:43.502)
it kills me how many of us were in our situations were all different. None of them, they're all unique, but because we didn't feel like we could talk about them, the internal blame and the internal shame. So I just, kind of want to like hand your power back a little bit to you and be like, no, those are that that makes sense. That makes sense given given what you were what the cultural like standards were and what what the

Rachel Fulginiti (33:49.239)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (34:05.838)
Right.

Chelsea Myers (34:12.87)
what you had access to at the time and what the expectations were but it wasn't true like you said and you took you took some time and you decided you wanted to go the adoption route and you didn't go straight to adoption though

Rachel Fulginiti (34:16.558)
Hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (34:29.78)
Right, well, we, so we took some time. Then we, I had this whole thing where I was like, am I just programmed to think that I have to have kids? So like, I went through a serious time of really being like, do I really need to have kids? Like, maybe we don't need to have kids. Why am I thinking this? And I really struggled with that and I talked about it. I,

Chelsea Myers (34:40.702)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (34:56.384)
I aired it out with friends and wrote about it and all kinds of stuff. And then I, at the end of the day, I realized if it was still in my heart after all this time, it was still there, then we need to pursue this because I knew it was like, I know there's a child that's meant to be in our family. Like I just feel this. went to some healers and all every healer.

not related, they would always be like, yeah, there's a there's a baby circling you. Like, there's maybe circling you. Yes, you're going to have a child like it just was like, I just felt like it was true that that that it was meant to be. we looked into like an open adoption.

Chelsea Myers (35:30.62)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (35:49.422)
I was into that. thought it was really cool the way that you can maintain a relationship with the birth family. I thought that that would be for me coming from my background of having, you know, everything not talked about and lots of secrets and all of that. I that felt really good to me. I was like, yeah, I can get on board with that. Everything is out there. It's all, you know, like, let's do that. But it was still kind of it was still expensive. You have to pay for the birth mothers.

you know how when you get linked up if you're at the beginning of the pregnancy you're paying for the entire pregnancy even if you're just last trimester you're still paying for that and she could still change her mind at the end and yeah we just we didn't want to do that we looked into international adoption and international adoption was like you're too old you know because at this time we're like advanced in age or the wait is like you know seven years or a lot of

Chelsea Myers (36:39.87)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (36:47.074)
We actually went to an adoption agency that sort of dissuaded us from international adoption. They were like, they're not really happening that much anymore. A lot of countries have like closed the doors to it. You could also get extorted. Like there is the possibility of that, like all kinds of stuff. And I know a lot of people who have adopted internationally and they had a okay experience, a good experience even, but yeah, it didn't feel right.

Chelsea Myers (36:59.422)
Hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (37:14.856)
And that's when we finally started looking at the foster care system. And it was like the last thing, honestly, that we really wanted to do. We were like really, we had been through so much. We're so afraid of getting our hearts broken again. But that was like, that was the path. just seemed like that was our, there was no other door that was really available for us.

Chelsea Myers (37:39.9)
Yeah. And this is another reason why I'm so glad we're having this conversation because the, first of all, the foster care system in general is, I think, misunderstood. And also stories of like the path to parenthood through the foster care system.

Rachel Fulginiti (37:46.83)
the

Chelsea Myers (37:59.432)
they're not talked about nearly enough. Because it's so misunderstood, did you feel like you had a good understanding of the foster care system at that time when you pursued it?

Rachel Fulginiti (38:04.238)
Thank

Rachel Fulginiti (38:11.282)
No, no, not really. We didn't really know too much about it. We attended an orientation, so we kind of found out an overview from that. And then we were both freaked out by it and just hands off for months after that. were like, I don't know. But then I kept on just feeling like, I just, I know there's a baby there for us. I know there is someone meant to join our family.

So then we attended the classes, you're required to take a certain amount of hours of classes. And every time we would drive back and forth from the classes, like one of us would be into it and the other one would be like, God, no way, no way. Like we can't do this. This is horrible. Like, and we got through that. It still took us probably nearly a year to complete all the requirements because we were so like,

Chelsea Myers (38:55.198)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (39:09.642)
unsure and afraid. So we finally the the way that I wrapped my head around it and Joe, my husband wrapped his head around it, it finally came down to you know what, we have to do this for the child. This is not about us anymore. We yes, we want we hope that the child that we are placed with

that that can be a forever family for us. hope that so much, but that's not what it's about. It's about providing safety and love and support to this child. And if they're meant to stay in our forever family forever, they will. If they're not, that's their path and their journey. And we have to respect that. And at least we got to do something so important. We got to be there for this other human being. What other thing could be greater in life than to

to do that for someone. that's how we went into it.

Chelsea Myers (40:11.196)
Yeah, yeah, you did it. It's a total shift of mindset. And I think you kind of summed up beautifully why a lot of people do pursue the foster care system. It is you are providing safety and love for a child and whether that's for a few days, a few weeks, a few years forever, you're that safe space. I have very limited experience with the foster care system other than

Rachel Fulginiti (40:16.246)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (40:39.846)
I was an educator for 10 years and I worked with a lot of kids in the foster care system. So I am grateful to families like yours who open your doors and become that safe space because these kids need that. But talk to me about that journey for you when you've got your first placement.

Rachel Fulginiti (40:44.526)
So...

Rachel Fulginiti (40:53.176)
Yeah, thank you.

Rachel Fulginiti (40:58.19)
Yeah, yeah, so we we got our first placement again, it was a it was a long road like we finally got certified and then I had gone to I mentioned I had gone to a healer. I went to this healer recommended by my chiropractor. She was a sound healer. was like, I think you should see Natalie and I was like, okay, I'll go see Natalie went to see Natalie and Natalie.

I said, Natalie, I'm so nervous because I'm the person that is going to take the phone call. If you're a couple, at least where we were in LA, they designate one person as the phone call person when they have a placement. And they say, you have to decide on the spot. You can't check in with your partner. You can't go back and forth because this child, it's an emergency. They need to have a placement.

Chelsea Myers (41:31.518)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (41:52.974)
So we both agreed that I would be that person, but I also felt this tremendous weight of like, my God, like I want to choose well. I just want to choose the right one. How do I know, you We got five calls before we got the call for my daughter. Every time there was something that just wasn't right about it, like the first time I was out of town and I was going to be out of town, I was like, we can't do this right now. Like I'm not going to like.

make my husband go get this child by himself and like start this process. Then I got home. I was really sick and I was like, I can't do this right now. I'm like super sick and like this isn't, know, da da da da da went like that. And the Natalie, the healer had said, when you get that phone call, here's what I want you to do. want you to take a moment, put your hand over your heart and just tune in. And if it's a yes, say yes.

Chelsea Myers (42:27.358)
Mmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (42:49.45)
If it's not a yes, don't say yes. So five times, put my hand on my heart.

I'm not hearing a yes, it's not yes. So I'm gonna say no. They had explained to us too that if you say no, you're not going to go to the end of the line, they just have to move on to the next people. So that happened. Then one day we get a phone call, I get a phone call, I'm driving to an audition and I pull over, I just gotten there and I'm in the side of the road there, parked and they start telling me about it. This baby girl start saying what they knew about her, put my hand over my heart and I was like,

it's a yes. my god, I think it's a yes. Can I call my husband? Please let me call him like really fast. And they were like, okay, call him really fast and call me right back. You have to call within the next like three minutes. I was like, okay, call him. He's at work never usually would answer right away. He answers on the first ring. I start telling him about okay, there's this baby girl blah, blah, blah. And he goes, yes, it's a yes, it's a yes. And I'm like, it is right. It's a yes.

Chelsea Myers (43:44.219)
my gosh.

Chelsea Myers (43:57.478)
You

Rachel Fulginiti (43:59.214)
I call back, it's a yes. Okay, yes, we're gonna do this. Oh my God. So all of a sudden I'm like, go into the audition, who knows what I did in that audition, come out. We have to go to Target, we need a car seat. It's a baby, she's only three and a half weeks old. She's still in the hospital. Get everything into action. Couple hours goes by, we get another phone call. Oh, you know that baby? She's actually not.

Chelsea Myers (44:07.164)
Ha ha ha!

Rachel Fulginiti (44:27.636)
you're she's medically fragile and you're not a medically fragile like certified household so i'm so sorry but like you can't have this baby god okay wow i really thought that that was a yes okay all right all right thanks well at least you're practicing yes and we're like yeah okay so go through the weekend like weird

Chelsea Myers (44:38.426)
Ugh.

Rachel Fulginiti (44:53.356)
go in on Monday. I'm at my agency's office in the lobby and everyone's talking about babies. There's like a pregnant woman. There's a lady with her baby. Everyone's baby, baby, baby, baby. They look at me. What about you, Rachel? Do you have a baby? I was like, I almost did. I start telling the story. As I'm telling the story, I get a phone call from the social worker and I'm like, it's the social worker right now. Excuse me. Remember that?

Chelsea Myers (45:10.515)
Mm.

Rachel Fulginiti (45:22.54)
baby. This is the social worker. Remember that baby that I called you about on Friday? Yes. Well, it turns out they reassessed her and she's not medically fragile. Do you still want her? was like, my god, yes. Like, my god, yeah. Call my husband. We're back. Like, go tell my agent like we're doing this. Like I'm, I have to go like everything. Woo. So this is the best part of the story.

Suddenly we're having this baby again. I really desperately want to go pick her up at the hospital. It's just something I want to do. They're talking about how they're going to the social worker for the county is like, well, I don't know when I'm to get to your house and I don't know how I'm going to drop her off everything. Would it be helpful for you if we picked her up at the hospital? She was like, you would want to do that. And I was like, yes, yes, we would love to do that. OK, so.

my God, I get to pick up this child. I'm so excited. We're so happy. On the phone with my social worker, he's giving us the final details about where to go, what hospital, know, NICU, da da. I forgot to ask, does she come with a name? I say, and he's like, yeah, let me let me see. He's looking through the paperwork. Her name is Isabella. Isabella Rose. I look at my husband and I lose my shit because when I was

pregnant years ago, our number one top name, if it was a girl, was Isabella Rose. And I have the journal entry still that where I was writing a letter to this unborn child and I said, and if you're a girl, we want to call you Isabella Rose.

Chelsea Myers (46:55.698)
No.

Chelsea Myers (47:07.344)
my gosh.

Rachel Fulginiti (47:09.292)
I know, unbelievable.

Chelsea Myers (47:12.196)
my gosh. So I am admittedly very woo woo. And that is just like, that is divine timing. That is divine. every, my gosh.

Rachel Fulginiti (47:13.389)
I know.

Rachel Fulginiti (47:18.956)
Soon.

Rachel Fulginiti (47:25.656)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (47:29.326)
Yeah. I mean, I looked at Joe and once I stopped crying and shouting and screaming, the social worker's like, what's the matter? Are you OK? And I was like, yes. I looked at Joe and I'm like, I start laughing hysterically. He's like, why are you laughing? I'm like, don't you see? This is our baby. Like, there is no way you cannot tell me that this is not our baby. This is our baby. We're going to pick up our baby. I had said over and over to God when we started this process, OK, God, just

let me know if it's the right placement that the child that's supposed to be in our forever family, please don't speak in code. Just be really, really clear, please. And when I got that message, I was just like, yeah, this is couldn't be more clear. I mean, that's nuts.

Chelsea Myers (48:13.232)
I don't know how you could be more clear.

Yeah! so you- did you get to pick her up from the hospital?

Rachel Fulginiti (48:19.725)
Yeah.

So we got to pick her up, we brought her home, and in fact, she never, there were never any visits with the biological parents. They were MIA, and we didn't have to, I shouldn't say we didn't have to, I should say we didn't get to, because it would have been nice for her, but we did not do visits. It just wasn't in the picture.

The whole process still took two and a half years. It was still really, really frightening on a daily basis of not knowing if we were gonna get to stay together. But I kept on holding on to that and just like, no, I just have to believe. I have to just keep believing. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (49:04.678)
Yeah. And there's, there's so many layers to that too. And I'm glad that you had not like, I'm super intentional with my language. And so like, when you made that little, that little like alteration so that you didn't get to it acknowledges like you still had that hope that your daughter would be able to at least know her birth family.

Rachel Fulginiti (49:11.38)
in this.

Rachel Fulginiti (49:17.866)
Well.

Rachel Fulginiti (49:24.672)
Absolutely. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (49:26.59)
And that is something, again, that's stigmatized to talk about. Like when you're talking about fostering and adoption, like, well, what about the birth family and what about what they want? And so it's sad to hear that you didn't get that opportunity. And I can only imagine the fear and anxiety every single day being like, is this forever? This is forever, right? Is this forever? Is this gonna be forever? And then...

Rachel Fulginiti (49:48.044)
Yeah. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (49:53.894)
And again, I'm just steering us because I'm eyeing the time. I don't want you to feel rushed. I don't want you to feel rushed. my gosh. No, we, could, I've got a little bit more time. We're good. We're good. So, how do I even want to word this? So I want to acknowledge, I want to acknowledge.

Rachel Fulginiti (49:57.012)
Yeah, no, know. Not at all. Not at all. We've put a lot of ground.

Rachel Fulginiti (50:14.024)
Hahaha.

Chelsea Myers (50:18.938)
You have two children. You have two children. Yes. So you went through the process again.

Rachel Fulginiti (50:20.514)
children yes we did and there's another magical story there I'll just tell it briefly so we took time off after finally two and a half years later we get to adopt Izzy Isabella who we call Izzy and it's the best day of our life and it's wonderful and we're so exhausted like mentally emotionally so

Chelsea Myers (50:26.834)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (50:45.989)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (50:47.598)
They start asking us right away, do you want to do it again? Do you want to do it again? Like you guys are such a great family. Like, and we were like, no, we can't, there's no way. we take like maybe three years off and then we decide, okay, let's throw our hat in ring. We get recertified. We don't get a phone call. Don't get a phone call. Almost decided like, okay, I'm like approaching 50 now. So I'm like 49. It's the summer. We go up to Sacramento. We're thinking about getting out of LA.

go to Sacramento, driving home, both of us are like, I don't know, I just don't feel like I'm done with LA yet. And my husband's like, yeah, me either. Like, let's just stay. Monday, we get a phone call, a text message, baby boy safe surrender born two days ago, are you in? First of all, safe surrenders don't happen. We were told that right away, like, don't try to get a safe surrender because it barely ever happens. It's like a unicorn, just don't.

Chelsea Myers (51:37.169)
my god.

Rachel Fulginiti (51:47.082)
even put your mind to that. Secondly, I go two days ago, two days ago was my husband's birthday. They were born on the same day. This is our child. Like, yes, the answer is yes, because there is no way again. I said, don't speak in code God. Okay, they have the same birthday. Like, that's pretty, you know, I was like, yeah, this is it. This is our boy.

Chelsea Myers (51:56.239)
my gosh!

Chelsea Myers (52:06.651)
Yeah!

Chelsea Myers (52:14.364)
Yeah, how long did that process take? Yeah, yeah. my goodness. So yeah, we could do literally like an entire season on this story and on like diving into adoption and fostering and all of the complexities and all of it. I think what I'm really curious about right now though is...

Rachel Fulginiti (52:17.196)
And that was still a two year process to go through that. Yeah. Yep.

Rachel Fulginiti (52:28.846)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (52:42.03)
on each of those days, on those days when the adoption finally went through with your daughter and with your son. I don't even want to say like, what was that feeling like? Because that is probably far too complex to answer. But you had gone so long with these, these voices in your head telling you all of these things. You're not meant to do this. This is like, this isn't going to happen for you.

Rachel Fulginiti (52:56.621)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (53:08.078)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (53:11.924)
How did those voices change on those days? Did they change?

Rachel Fulginiti (53:16.864)
Yeah, I mean, they totally changed. The adoptions, both of them, the adoption days were like spontaneous healings for me. Like no lie, like just somehow being in that courtroom both times and after all of the stress and the trauma that we had gone through to then be surrounded by our closest friends and to be in so much joy.

was like a spontaneous healing. And I also came to accept that, you know, this was our path. And these are my child's children and I am meant to be a mother. you know, the acupuncturist told me long, long ago, she, I remember her saying, you know, we don't know, she goes, we don't know how they come, but everyone always seems to get the same baby, the right baby.

Chelsea Myers (54:13.036)
Hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (54:13.714)
And I just really, didn't understand it then and then I understood it now. It's like, these were our children. These were the children meant to be in our forever family. And this is how they had to come in, you know?

Chelsea Myers (54:25.692)
Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't, it definitely doesn't negate all of those years and all of that suffering and all of the, the, but what a beautiful way to, to...

Rachel Fulginiti (54:32.984)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (54:40.44)
sum up that journey. think that's such a that's that's like a in a nutshell way of saying that but like, what a beautiful way to look at that journey to now you have your two children, who I am like I said, I don't like to infuse my opinions. But today, apparently, I'm breaking my rules. I mean, I'm following you like the signs were there. The signs were there. my goodness.

Rachel Fulginiti (54:45.998)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (54:57.037)
Ha ha!

Rachel Fulginiti (55:02.028)
Yeah, I'm through there.

Chelsea Myers (55:05.992)
So I have like two more things I'm curious about before I bring us home. But yeah, like I said, we could talk about this forever. One of the things I'm curious about, because when you initially were talking about adoption, you were interested in open adoption. Have you been open with your kids about your journey to getting them in your forever family?

Rachel Fulginiti (55:32.3)
Absolutely. We I mean, I haven't told all the details. I'll be happy to do that when they're older. I don't think they need all the details right now. But we we absolutely they know that they're adopted. They know how how long and how much we wanted them and wished for them. There's actually a children's book called Wish. That's a really, really beautiful book about just that, about how this couple waited and waited and waited and

Chelsea Myers (55:39.08)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (56:01.952)
you didn't come, you didn't come and then finally you came. And so I've shared that with my kids since they were really little. yeah, it's incredibly important to be, I think, open about it. And I am in touch with my daughter's uncle. So her birth father's brother, we got in touch and I've been able to maintain a relationship with him.

Chelsea Myers (56:20.7)
wow.

Rachel Fulginiti (56:29.162)
Not too much, but sending pictures a couple times a year. They've done a Zoom together. First, I just did the Zooms with him to just make sure everything was cool and he's just the sweetest guy. And now they've met and hopefully someday we'll meet in person and that kind of thing.

Chelsea Myers (56:45.629)
Yeah.

And the only reason I ask is because again, like you are smashing stigma in that sense too, by being open and talking to them about it, there's not shame associated with it. There's no questions associated with it, right? Like they know that they came into your family and how they came into your family and how wanted they were and how loved they are. so it's less a curiosity of like, so did you try to figure out their families or blah, blah, blah. And more about

Rachel Fulginiti (56:58.808)
Right.

Rachel Fulginiti (57:15.352)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (57:16.074)
Like, yeah, you are breaking down those barriers and smashing the stigma and allowing them to know their own origin story, right? Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (57:27.136)
It's so important. It's so important. California actually just passed a law that they'll be able to get their original birth certificates. And I just think that's so important that they that they have that as they get older, because there will still be questions. Of course, there will be questions. And so as much information as I can provide at as early an age as possible, I'm happy to do that. And if they want to seek out their birth parents at some point, I'm

Chelsea Myers (57:43.282)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Fulginiti (57:55.84)
I will be open to helping with that, you know.

Chelsea Myers (57:58.13)
Yeah, yeah. And it's different for every family, but yeah, just, so I typically, I've been ending my episodes with a little exercise, but I'm not gonna do that this time. I'm gonna be very intentional with my wrap up question with you because this is a story that we haven't gotten to explore.

Rachel Fulginiti (58:01.656)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (58:12.632)
Okay.

Rachel Fulginiti (58:19.438)
This is a

Chelsea Myers (58:22.07)
nearly enough on the podcast. So I'm throwing my my original question out the window. And my question for you is based on your experience and everything that you went through and all the evolutions, what would you want a family going through what you went through to know? What would you want them to take away from your story?

Rachel Fulginiti (58:33.198)
Thanks.

Rachel Fulginiti (58:38.69)
What would you say to the family?

Rachel Fulginiti (58:51.246)
I would want them to take away that if it's in your heart to have a family, you can have a family. We don't know how that's gonna happen. There's lots of avenues that can be explored, but I truly, truly believe if you get quiet and you connect with something greater than yourself, you can find that soul that's meant to be in your family. I just believe it.

Chelsea Myers (59:20.242)
Yeah, well, and you're walking talking proof of that. my goodness. is one of those days and one of these connections where I literally I could talk to you for hours. Unfortunately, I can't today, but open invitation to always come back and I want to give you the opportunity for my listeners who want to learn more about you and about your journey.

Rachel Fulginiti (59:24.119)
Yeah.

Rachel Fulginiti (59:28.456)
This is one of those.

Rachel Fulginiti (59:38.488)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (59:48.25)
where's the best place for them to look and these will all be linked in the show notes.

Rachel Fulginiti (59:53.098)
Sure. The best place is to go to my website. It's the website for my podcast. It's called from foster 2 forever dot com. And it's the number two. It's not T. O. So it's from foster the number two forever dot com. And you might have to scroll down. But on the right hand side of the page, there is a place to put in your email address and you can get on the mailing list. I don't spam. I don't, you know, barely send anything. But it's a good way to stay in touch.

You can also go to Apple podcasts, Spotify, and follow the show. And then you'll hear from me all the time. I'm actually going to be starting some support kind of things. So if you get on the mailing list, you'll hear about that. I also have a workbook that's coming out really, really soon that is foster to adopt right for me. So if you sign up for the mailing list, then you'll be on that list and you'll find out about it.

Chelsea Myers (01:00:48.412)
I love it. It's all gonna be in the show notes. I'm encouraging my listeners to check the show notes. That's where all the good information is. But yeah, I just, I thank you so, so, so much. I thank you for sharing your story, for being so open and authentic, and for giving me the opportunity to... I don't even know how to word this. I complete my brain shutdown. I'm honored that I had the opportunity

Rachel Fulginiti (01:01:00.11)
Thank you.

Chelsea Myers (01:01:18.244)
to provide a platform for you to share because I think this is something that really needs to be explored more and talked about more. So thank you so much for doing that.

Rachel Fulginiti (01:01:29.186)
Thank you. Thank you so much, Chelsea. Honestly, it's like a pleasure to talk to you. yeah, I just thank you. I'm really happy to be here.

Chelsea Myers (01:01:38.59)
Okay, I'm gonna push this up.

Rachel Fulginiti (01:01:41.197)
Night.