Reasonably Certain
Welcome to Reasonably Certain with Ellen Larson!
Ellen covers topics she has learned about throughout her 20's such as mental health, body image, makeup, fashion, and living abroad.
Ellen offers insights and tips to promote emotional well-being, encourage self-acceptance and confidence, perfecting your makeup routine, and advice about living abroad. Overall, Reasonably Certain provides a comprehensive approach to self-care, confidence, and empowerment.
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Reasonably Certain
TIKTOK BAN?! Or NOT?! + Healthy Habits I'm Working On This Year
EP #30: Ellen is struggling after waking up and finding out that TikTok is banned on her phone as well even though she lives in Spain. After freaking out and creating a new TikTok account on her old phone, she is coping by working on content strategies for Instagram and YouTube and working on healthy habits like going to sleep earlier and going to the gym.
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La la la la la la la la la la. Guys, what are we doing? What are we doing? Oh, my God. What are we doing? I have my other phone out because of TikTok. What are we doing? What are we doing? Um. Um. Welcome back to Reasonily Certain. My name is Ellen. This is episode 30. I don't know what to do. I'm going crazy. I'm not supposed to be affected by the TikTok band, guys, like, what's going on? I did. Okay, so this, uh, is not gonna be a typical episode because what is going on? I was like, oh. Huh. Haa. Uh, the TikTok ban'gonna happen to the Americans. But it doesn't apply to me because I live in Spain. Well, it did happen to me because first I found out, okay, my Apple account, my Apple ID is, you know, says that I'm in the US because there's a lot of apps that you can't get unless you're in the US and now I have like a bunch of app purchases and subscriptions that are all connected to my US Apple id. And I debated switching it to a Spanish Apple id, which now I'm glad I didn't because it says when you want to switch countries, it will remove all of your ongoing purchases. And I was like, u I don't know if I want to do that. My whole phone is set up as a US Phone, I guess. So I was like, let me just put that down. Allh, right. I have my old iPhone from last year that still works good. You know, it was just the battery life was sucking. That's why I got a new phone. But I keep this just for emergencies. Just like this one. Just like this today when I need to download tik tok on another phone. Um, um. So I booted this little baby up while I was in, uh, bed this morning, and I'm like, this is exactly how I will get around the TikTok band. Nothing can stop me. So I'm like, okay, let me make a new Apple ID with a completely different email and everything. And I will set it up as a Spanish phone. The Apple ID will be in Spain. The phone will never know that it has ever, ever had any relation to being in the U.S. great. So then I download TikTok and I'm like, ha ha. Uh, here we go. I can finally download TikTok on this special other iPhone. And I go to log in and it's like, sorry, not available in your region. And I'm like, what? What do you mean? What do you mean? I am in Spain. This phone knows nothing about the fact that I have been to the US or from the us. This knows nothing. So then I'm like coming to the conclusion that my Tik TOC account itself must have something like in it in my settings that says I'm like a U based account or something. I don't remember ever doing that. But also I never thought to change that. So now I can't even log in on another device in Spain, in another country, to log on to my account to change it to say that I'm in Spain. So I made a new TikTok account just because I don't want to remake the algorithm and everything and tailor it to my needs. Like, you know what? I'll take this as a time, a brief break from scrolling relentlessly. Also because none of the content I normally watch will be on TikTok anyway. Um, because I watch United States TikTok, so if nobody is on and we can't access it from the us the content that I like to watch is not even on there. So there's really no point in me trying to recalibrate a new algorithm and a new FYP because nobody that I normally would watch is even on the app right now. So I selfishly just really wanted the TikTok app and now I have it with a new Tik Tok account and everything. I can't access my existing account, but apparently my friend Valeria. Thank you, Valeria. She opened it on her phone because she has an Italian phone, so it still shows my account like as if it were a normal day. So she's like, well, at least your account's not deleted. And I'm like, okay, shout out. At least my account is existing somewhere in the Internet. I just don't have access to it. So that's really awesome. But I selfishly just want the TikTok camera because if I'm gonna keep making content for Instagram, I hate the Instagram camera. And I don't really like filming with just the native iPhone camera unless I'm using the back camera. And I don't know, it just. I haven't. I don't have a monitor on the back of my camera to like, see myself when I'm filming. And it's too difficult. So the TikTok camera is elite. It is elite. I love filming natively within TikTok and then usually I download it and I edit it in capcut. I think I still have access to Capcut as far as I could tell, but I've Heard a lot of people say Capcut is now down as well. Okay, so here's what I'm doing. I am gonna take this time to get off my phone a little bit. U. Except for what I'm going to create content. I will be using my old phone on my new TikTok account just to use the camera because truly the TikTok camera is amazing. So that's, that's. I'm not totally crashing out because there is. I have the camera still, the algorithm and the FYP for the US Content gone, whatever. We're all on the same boat on that. Um, but here, let's talk, uh, predictions. I might try and get this episode out earlier than I would normally post it because this, this is a. This is a tumultuous time. Things are changing so fast. Um, Trump is getting inaugurated and putting. Getting put into office again. Gross. But President Trump. President. President Trump. And you hear me, Please save us. President Trump. Please us. My prediction, I don't think TikTok is going away. I really did not think it was even go. Going toa get shut down even for a day. I thought it was just goingna be looming over our heads for a week or two. And I thought it wasnna get pushed back. But, you know, here we are. It's locked down, taken away, ripped out of our hands, whatever. Understandable, because I don't think TikTok should sell. I think, you know, meta is the new evil in our lives. But anyway, so I have not gone to Redn Note either. By the way. I did love, you know, the content, you know, this week of people, like, jumping ship to Redn Note, but I don't feel the need to go to Red Note. I feel so many people have already, like, kind of over sensationalized it and like, made it kind of a joke. And like, it feels very kind of invasive. Like, let the Chinese people have their apps. Stop bothering them. Like, it's kind of funny, but it also feels like we just kind of came and, like, took it and we're like, we want to be here now. Like, okay, chill out. It was there at first. Chill out. Um, but it is funny. And I did. I was like, oh, maybe I should start learning Mandarin. And I got so many Mandarin videos on my TikTok feed this week and I was like, loving it. Um, but anyway, my prediction, I feel that Trump is gonna use this to gain some, um, love on his side. Whatever. Some, some support._US he's like, oh, yeah, that app TikTok. I like that app Tik took. We'll have to take a look at that. So guarantee the first day he's out in office, he's gonna try and do something to save Tik Tok and like, get a bunch of people back on his side somehow. Um, because I really, I don't think they're gonna fully take it away for like 170 million Americans or something like that. Like, that's, that's crazy. So I don't think that they're just gonna completely ditch everyone, but. But maybe, maybe. I really don't think so though, because that would just be so insane. But hey, I mean, here we are, it's gone. Uh, also, this is the week that I've been like, I really need to like, get a handle on my content strategy. So right when I'm getting read, like, ready to do, you know, full blown content strategy, TikTok is just gone. Um, and yeah, can I still post and make a new account on my new Spanish phone? I can, I did somehow get the handle at Ellen Larson. That's amazing. So that's awesome. Glad about that. U. Uh, I don't know. I don't know. So my guess, like I said, that's why I'm thinking maybe I'll try and get this episode up a bit earlier than I would normally. Just because I guarantee something will change within the next like 24 to 48 hours. And if I put this out on Wednesday, I bet, like, whatever I'm talking about now is already going to be so different by that time. It's like, we have to move fast in this climate. Things are changing. Every four hours there's a new answer about what's going on with things. Ah. Uh, so anyway, that's not the topic for the full episode, but we can't ignore the elephant in the room. I now have two phones again because one of them has freaking TikTok on it. So that has been my loophole for the week. Well, for the day, it's only been a few hours since I opened this new phone again. Um, but yeah, there's, there's just, there's no way that they're gonna fully ban it. I don't know. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. Cause I really don't know. I don't know. However, I will say even if TikTok is only banned for a few days and it comes back, I do think this is a good revolution, uh, in a sense because I've already seen so many people planning to move their content to YouTube rather than Instagram, because, girl, Facebook is not even in the conversation. Like, nobody's been on Facebook since 2012. Okay? So it's basically Instagram or YouTube. I feel that Instagram will always exist because I can't really fathom another app coming up currently that would replace it and that everyone who's been on Instagram for, like, the past 15 years is gonna just, like, switch to a new app. Like, at this point, Instagram is kind of like the same as LinkedIn in a sense. Like, it's almost like you kind of have to have an Instagram profile, you know? Like, it's like a bit black mirror ish. But it's like, if you don't have an Instagram profile, like, what are you doing? Like, who even are you? Do you have a LinkedIn profile? Like, who are you? Like, it's. It's just that, like, important, I feel, because it kind of is like, your, like, online presence, like, is Instagram, which I hate, but that's just kind of the reality of it. But I love that everyone is like, wait, maybe. Maybe we should go to YouTube. And I'm like, yes, yes, everybody please come to YouTube. Please, please, please. Because I have been going strong for YouTube since everybody ditched after all the M makeup gurus blew up and left. I have been here. I consume YouTube every day. I don't even watch regular TV much at all. Like, really at all. I watch probably 10 hours of YouTube minimum per day. My TV is YouTube. I love YouTube. Actually, we can look at my screen time. I can just tell you my daily average is four hours and two minutes. But my screen time last week, for example, was 28 hours and 15 minutes on YouTube alone. Because I. It's a good way for me to not be scrolling on my phone as well, because all those 28 hours means that I'm not touching, uh, my phone. Like, I'm. It's sitting like this while I'm doing stuff, working, whatever I'm doing. Because I just like to have something on in the background. It's the same as having your TV on in the background so that there's not, like, silence, you know? Uh, uh. So, yeah, 28 hours. Because essentially every hour that I'm not physically on a meeting or talking to my mom on the phone, YouTube is on. Because I can't have one minute of silence or I will go crazy. So, yeah, that's my screen time for YouTube. Um, um. Oh, my God, it has my screen time for Tik. Took on here, but now it's called Com. Do Zillioa app musicallyy, they took away its name. Oh. Oh, that's bad. Oh, that's bad. Daily average, almost four hours, almost the same as YouTube. And then Instagram is like where t. I only spend eight hours a week on Instagram, five hours a week on WhatsApp. But that's because I have phone calls. And, um, those are the apps I use. That's it. YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, WhatsApp. Facebook only gets opened for about five seconds to check my notifications just because sometimes I get mentioned in a. The only reason I have Facebook really is for the groups. So sometimes if I'm like checking in on what people have been posting in groups, like American expats in Spain or like Barcelona expat group or um, um, are we dating same man. Those are T or M. There's a few others. Like, I'm still involved in some Phoenix hiking groups as well, because I'm just noauseyous as if. And I like to know how the trails are looking in Phoenix and how people's adventures have been. But that's only the only reason why I use Facebook. So I'm not really on there anyway. So I love that everyone has been saying they want to go to YouTube because I just feel that YouTube is a really fair platform for creators. They have a great way of monetizing, um, I love it. I freaking love YouTube. I love the content that's on YouTube. I love that there's like anything and everything you can think of. You need. You have a question, Somebody already made a video about it telling you exactly how to answer it. You want to learn how to do makeup, There's a video for that. You want to learn about a trip and get a full itinerary to go on a trip. There's videos about that, um, you want to learn about, I don't know, literally haunted towns in America. There's a video for everything. It's endless, amazing entertainment that is so fine tuned to exactly what you wanna watch. And you don't have to get left on a cliffhanger by like a stupid season and then wait two years for another season to come out like a TV show or like a movie and invest like two hours of your time into a movie just to be left on a cliffhanger or like an unsatisfying ending like YouTube. There's not that much investment into it as in you can just watch a couple minutes, check the comments, get a vibe check, and then leave and find another video in.2 seconds. Because the algorithm Is amazing. So I'm clearly a huge fan of YouTube. Get your friends on YouTube. Get going on your YouTube channel if you have one. We gotta get on our YouTube this year, YouTube 2025. And if Tik Tok comes back, great. But I'm not going toa hold my breath because I have content to make and I'm gonna just suck it up and post it on reels and get just absolutely slaughtered in the comments on reels because reels is mean and weird. Um, um. Do not like the vibes on reels at all. Honestly, when I use Instagram, I do not even scroll on the feed because uh, it's an ad. Every other post it's like super annoying. It's not helpful. And if I'm not seeing an ad, I'm seeing a brand. No offense to brands. Don't really care about your content that much because I want to see my friends stuff first. And I get that you can put all of your friends into like the favorites tab and like just only look in the favorites tab. But I don't even really do that, honestly, because I just prefer watching stories and then I prefer me personally, the way I consume Instagram is I prefer watching everyone's stories. Because at least the stories algorithm is really good at putting my personal friends stories first. Um, so I don't have to go searching for them. It's very good at putting the people that I'm interested in first so that I never miss their updates. And I prefer when somebody just puts like their post or their re and like puts it on their story so that when I'm watching their stories, which I always do, I will see their post and then I just interact with it from their story. That's how I use Instagram. I think it's the most efficient because the story's algorithm, as far as like when it brings people to the front after you refresh is usually people you actually care about. So I only watch stories and then I log off. Cause I don't scroll on reels. You what? Like no, hey, I want you guys to scroll on reels. But me personally, I don't scroll on reels. Cause the experience is like not enjoyable for me. Also like, maybe it's ca because I haven't fine tuned my algorithm because I don't scroll on reels. But like the content is just like so millennial. So cringe, like it gives me the ic. Like get. I like physically cringe when I see it. Like it's bad. So Instagram really has no value to me. Other than checking on my personal friends, I do not like, engage with content that much, honestly. Cause I can't stand the algorithm for every other aspect of Instagram besides stories. So I just like to post on stories, I like to consume stories. And that's it. That's really all I do. Uh, yeah, so YouTube is where it's at. I just wish that YouTube would make, um, their shorts experience better because I would love to post on shorts as well. But like, right now it's limited to one minute. And like, the way that you upload to shorts is very much the same way that you would like upload a YouTube video. And so there's like way too many fields of details that you have to fill out just to like upload it. And yeah, the experience of uploading real or um, um, the experience of uploading a YouTube short is just, it's just not pleasant. And also the experience of scrolling through shorts is also like, not that great. And I wish that it was easier to separate shorts from regular videos because let's be real, I'm not going to YouTube for shorts. Like, I'm just not. I want long form content on YouTube. Maybe if the experience was better, I would also go to shorts. But I just wish when I was searching for things that I could have two separate tabs. Like either I'm searching long form video or I'm searching shorts. If they could make that separate. Where it's like they both live in the same app, but like they're kind of two separate experiences. And you can either choose if you want to have a long form experience at the moment, or you can like switch to a tab just like kind of how TikTok has at the bottom, like your FYP or your friends tab. They could make it exactly the same in YouTube and it would be super easy. So. Wish it was like that. It's not. Whatever. But anyway, I'm very pro YouTube. I love YouTube. I think it's awesome. And yeah, so that's where I'm gonna be spending most of my time in my effort. Uh, and I will be using the TikTok camera so I can film stories and take videos and whatever. Uh, but that's. That's about it. So I whereear that's where we are. But I think it's time to be a little less silly. So I will take off my silly sunglasses for you. But I hope you enjoyed. Um, oh, and I'm getting a bit warm w. And doing my hair today. Oh, like when I don't blow dry it. Um, After I shower, like, I just slept with my hair wet last night caus I was so exhausted I just passed out. And um, then I'mnn air dries by the morning and it's like super wavy. Super annoying to blow dry it and straighten it after that. Cause it's like it just doesn't straighten. But when I like stretch it out with the blow dryer and at least get it like 90% dry after I shower, I can straighten it like 10 minutes. But yeah, if I have to straighten it from wavy. Oo. The experience is not very good. Uh, yeah, but I'm supposed to be going to a cute little dinner tonight, so that's why I wanted my. My hair to be nice. Um, yeah. Anyway, so welcome back to Reasonably Certain. We can get into the normal topic today. Um, and I do think this is very applicable because for the last two weeks I have been really trying to be like, okay, like, I gotta stop fucking around. What do I want on in my life? Like, we like, no more half assing. I got a whole ass one goal. And be like, we're doing this for real. Don't be scared about the outcome. Like, I think that's what's holding me back a bit is being scared of like the outcome of like, oh my God, like, what if it starts going really good and really fast and then that's like a lot of change and it's like kind of overwhelming and like, what if it goes well? Like, oh, oh my God, that's kind of scary. You like, out. Uh, and then I don't have control over it. And I am a control freak. So that's. That's like my inner, you know, boundary that I've been battling the past couple of weeks. But I'm like, okay, I've been wanting to do this content creator thing since. Since I was like 15, honestly. But I've been taking it more seriously since 2017. And it's like, girl, it's been eight years. Get on your zoom. Like, obviously I'm here. I'm making my podcast. Episodes would be great if you like and subscribe and share with a friend. Um, but I, like, I do it, but clearly I need to do something different. I don't think my podcast needs to change that much. Like, I really enjoy the format I'm doing. I think I follow the same vibe as a lot of successful podcasts. So I'm thinking, okay, maybe it will just take time if I grow my other platforms in other ways. Like, maybe it will spill over into the podcast audience. Whatever um, but I do feel very happy and content with my podcast, the way it's going. I think the format I've nailed down is pretty dang good, so I feel good about it. But all my other content, like my Instagram photos, my reels, my TikTok's rip, but obviously something that I'm doing there is not, like, working super well. So I was like, girl, I've got toa change something a bit more radically because making these, like, teeny tiny, inconsistent tweaks along the way is obviously not working, or I would be having way more success by now. So I have been making a lot of, like, changes the past couple of weeks, and to be honest, it's been quite exhausting. But it's been a good exhausting. Like, I'm like, okay, obviously change is going to be a bit exhausting because you're growing and getting out of your comfort zone. Like, that'snna be a bit exhausting, but as long as it's, like, not too much at once and you're, like, burning yourself out and everything like that, then you know, that's okay. So, anyway, the title of this episode is Healthy Habits I'm working on this year, and I think I've already made a really good step forward into accomplishing a lot of these habits because, like, I mentioned in, like, a couple of the previous episodes more recently, like, I have been wanting to lose weight and get down to a lower wait for a long time. I don't need to be super tiny, but it is something that holds me back from feeling like I'm really enjoying my life because I want to be just a little bit skinnier so that I can feel, like, really, really confident in my clothes, feel really confident, like, taking full body photos and not, like, nitpicking myself. So I'm definitely getting there. I feel a lot better. So I'm already making good changes there, but I'm like, hey, we need to push a little bit harder. I've, like, gone this far. I've been at this stage for a while. Like, okay, we gotta, you know, kick it up a notch. So that's kind of what I've been focusing on. And then in order to kick it up a notch in that area of my life, I have to do a bunch of things. So I'll read you kind of, like, some of the habits that I already have written down. And, like, I literally made, like, in my Google calendar, like, on my, uh, phone and my laptop, like, literal time blocks every day, like, a schedule that I have to Follow. Because I mentioned, like, I work from home, I have a really lax schedule, which I think kind of bites me in the ass, honestly, because I can get too relaxed and I thrive a bit better when I'm busier. So if I have, I just have to make myself busier, honestly, because no one's making me. I have to make myself. I have to like, mother myself a little bit. And like, I kind of like the saying. I just. Of course, I just saw a TikTok about it a couple weeks ago that was like, you are given this life to take care of your body and like the person that's in it. You like, uh, it's almost like as if you were assigned this, like, little person and then you grew up and now you're just like, in charge of this person to like, like, give them a good life, make sure that they're happy and well fed and healthy and like, make sure that they're just doing good. Like, you're in charge of this person and their body and like, just make sure that they're happy. And I was like, yeah, I'm in charge of taking care of my body and myself and my mental health. I'm in charge of that. Which, like, duh. Uh, but I think when you kind of think of it like as if you were almost your own child that you're like, assigned to. To like, take care of, like, would you let your own daughter or your own son or your own child go through some of the things that you're allowing yourself to go through? Like whether you're repeating patterns and kind of finding yourself stuck in the same situation all the time? Like, would you, if you noticed that your child was going through that, would you allow them to do that? Then why are you allowing yourself to do it? You know? So I've been trying to unpack a lot of that recently. Um, but yeah, before I get into exactly my. My healthy habits that I've been working on all kind of catch you up over the past week because last episode was with Tali. So if you haven't watched that yet, I highly recommend it. Um, so I didn't catch you up then, but o. Although the past couple weeks I've been good and I've been trying to make a lot of changes in that way. Um, I'm. My personal life. Woo. My work life has been in the dumpster. In the dumpster, almost fully taken out by the trash truck, but I was able to reach in and pull it out. So I was almost taken away by the trash truck. Yeah. So it's been not great, very emotional. I cried for like three days straight, like sobbing, crying, like hyperventilating. I think I had my first real panic attack. I like, maybe I've had them in the past, but not, not really any that I've remembered that stick out to me. But literally on Tuesday I got off a call and was like hyperventilating, like, and like couldn't catch my breath for like 10 minutes. And I was just sitting here staring at the wall, like trying to slow down my breathing. But it was like a physical response that I couldn't. I was just like, for like 10 minutes, not even fully crying yet, but like the panic, the pure panic that set in that I was like, I don't have control over this. My life is crumbling. Something bad is happening. I can't do anything about it. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. So that I think was a real panic attack that I had and then it turned into hyperventilating, sobbing. My eyes were swollen. I was like just down in the dumps. And then that happened. I didn't get a panic attack again. That was just Tuesday, but then like until Friday, basically I was just down in the dumps crying every day. Really not a great week for me. Which on the plus side I'm thankful because I haven't cried in a long time. Ever since living in Spain, I don't really cry unless I see a TikTok that's like very sweet and emotional or sad that I cry at a tik took. But um, I don't cry about things in my personal life much at all. Which is great because when I was living in Arizona, I was crying probably once a week at least. Minimum, minimum. Uh, living in Minnesota at my parents house. Love your parents. But ooh, that was rough as well. So I was crying probably daily. And uh, yeah, ever since movie to Spain, I think I've cried like maybe a handful of times in the year past, year and a half. So just that scale alone, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. So it's very lucky that I don't feel so upset about things living here that I feel the need to cry. I have not cried in a very long time. So this week I was like, whoa. I have not been this upset and nervous and uh, scared and like just feeling crappy for a year, I think because the last time I cried. It's always a job thing, right? Like job or housing. I think we can all agree that those things are very integral to life. So if those things start to crumble or become uneasy, U so yeah, the last time I cried, I think was just trying to get this job that I have now last December. And also I was moving at the same time. Soo that was a tense time in my life, uh, job searching and getting this job. But ever since then I've been, I've been pretty good. But then this week was of another tough week. U um, I'm still employed and everything, but oh my God, not a great week for me. Uh, so yeah, just did not do much else besides cry and try to maintain control over something. Things I could have control over, like, I don't know, putting action steps in place, making spreadsheets, trying to plan my life and like learn things and try to have some selance of control. I guess on the other hand as well, like hitting a sort of rock bottom might, I think, give me the kick in the ass I need to not be in this situation again and not feel so, like uncertain about my future. So I'm like, okay, yeah, this can't happen again. Like this, this feeling that I'm having this week of feeling like so out of control of the future of my life because of something that I really don't have control over. So it's like I need to put more like safety nets in place for myself and be more proactive and be more like, okay, we're not beating around the bush here anymore. Like, we have to like, let's go, come on, you're almost 30. Like, let's, let's go. So that's kind of what I'm feeling like, okay, for everything that happens, even if it's super shitty, like, you can always learn something from it. And, uh, there's always a lesson. There's always something you can take away that's like, hey, well this happened. Like, what are we going toa do about it? You know, you can sit and cry about it for a day or two, like let yourself feel sad. But like, once you've let that feeling pass, like, let's figure out what we're gonna do about it. Cause we can't just sit and sulk about it forever. Or that's not going toa change anything and it's not going toa help. So, you know, I saw another tik took that was actually super. You know, if I had it saved, I would post it for you. But now I don't have, uh, access to it. So it was a woman that was showing. She was actually talking about when you're like, maybe you have binge eating issues or your dieting and you're, you're trying to lose weight or maybe whatever you're trying to work on. But she was specifically talking about it in like, relation to food that, like, when you're trying to lose weight and like, work on your diet, that she was like pouring a glass of milk or something and it was like a visual to show, like, if you spill a little bit of milk or if you eat a little bit too much and you like, binge a little bit one day, it doesn't make sense to just continue pouring the whole jug of milk all over the table and have it spill everywhere and now you have a huge mess to clean up. Like, it makes sense to just set the jug down and like, use a paper towel or something to wipe it up and then just drink the milk and keep going with your life. It doesn't make sense to just like, well, I spilled a little bit, so I guess I'm just gonna dump the whole jug and just, uh. I've done that before. I think we've all done that before, like, metaphorically of speaking, you know what I mean? But I was like, okay, well, that's like a really good example for anything in life, really. Like, just because you effed up a little bit or like, maybe you forgot to do something or maybe something didn't go your way a little bit doesn't mean that you should just, like, fuck the whole thing and, like, just fuck it up some more, you know, like, just pause and like, reevaluate and like, take a step forward in the right direction instead of like taking 50 steps back because you're like, oh, I'm so dumb. I'm so stupid. Life sucks. That's not going to help anyone. So, yeah, this week has been very much like, let's just take lessons that I can learn. Because there's always something you can learn from whatever you go through. Even if it's super, super, super, super shitty, there's always something you can take away. Like, okay, maybe this was a chance for me to stop and review my life or feel more grateful for something or reach out to someone or, like, whatever it is. Maybe this is a chance for me to pause and reevaluate. So that's kind of what I'm doing. But I'm like, yeah, maybe this really is the kick in the ass I need to, like, put these habits in place and be like, okay, no, like, you're almost 30, it's 20, 25. You want your life to be a certain way. Like, you've got to be a little more strict with yourself in order to get there, because clearly what you're doing is still good. But it's not enough to like, really make a change in my life and it's not to take away all the other good things I've done for myself. Like, I've done a lot. I still need to acknowledge all the things I've done done. I've like, overcome a lot of my agoraphobia and OCD and cleanliness fears. I've moved to a new country, I've met new friends. I've like, traveled when I had a fear of traveling for years and years. Like, I've overcome a lot. So I think those steps were also necessary for me to even just get here to this day where I like, went through an emotional week and I was like, hekay, now we've got to like, ramp it up a bit. #us I wouldn't have been able to start from like, feeling super nervous, super unconfident, super not sure in myself back in 2023 to like, hear where I am now. Like, I kind of needed to go through all those steps along the way. I wouldn't have been able to just go like, like to 110% from 2023, you know what I mean? So it kind of needed that time to grow and like, live life again a little bit after Covid especially to like, get to this point even. So I think it all comes with time, right? Like, you can't just like, decide one day that you're going toa change a million things in your life and like, have it be done tomorrow. Like, it took me a year and a half to grow a lot that I've grown even since I moved here. And now, now I'm ready to grow some more. So I'm just, uh. It's like a growing pain that I'm feeling. I'm likekay, I've done a lot. Let's maybe try to do a little bit more. That's. That's kind of what I'm thinking. So yeah, I didn't really do much besides cry. And then on Friday, I went to meet up with a group of content creators with Yoli. And then yesterday, uh, Yoli and I went to a coffee shop to work on content and like, plans for how we can have more sources of income. Because I hate to say it, but these days having one source of income is, I would say, borderline irresponsible because Companies really do not care about you and they will let you go like this. And unless you have like, some investments or savings or another stream of income, u. Uh, it's really scary. Like, you need some safety nets in place because if you don't like, they. It's real easy in this climate to just like, have everything crumble. So in order for me to feel safer and more secure in my life, I'm like, okay, I've got to have more savings. I'm taking this like, investment course with YLI and we're both learning more about investment because I don't know, I've just never learned about it, honestly. And I wish I would have before, but, you know, you can't go back in time. So the best time to start is now and not put it off till tomorrow. So we're doing like an investment course. And then I'm trying to. Well, obviously I'm like, trying to reduce and like, cut back where I'm spending, but honestly, I'm not spending that much. Like it's just living costs. Um, um, but obviously there are always places where you can reduce. So, uh, I'm trying to like, limit my spending to only things where if I do spend money, it's going to benefit the content that I'm making. Um, and not like, just going out to eat for no reason. Like, honestly, I've cut down on my going out to eat and I don't drink alcohol. Like, I barely go out to eat. Like at last year I went out to eat and in 2023 I went out to eat way more. Uh, uh. But yeah, I've really cut down on my going out to eat and stuff. I really only cook at home and I got to eat like, maybe once a week just to have like, some social time with friends because otherwise I'll go crazy. Um, um, that's about it though. So it's like, I really do have to be mindful of that, which. Shout out Rocket Money if you want to be my sponsor. I use Rocket Money and I actually really, really love Rocket Money. Um, um, as far as, like, tracking subscriptions and like, if you have any recurring subscriptions that you forgot about, it will take care of them for you and like, cancel them. And also it's really good for budgeting and like, keeping track of all your different bank accounts and your credit cards and everything and making sure that everything is, uh, a okay. So I love Rocket Money personally and. Hey girl, if you're listening, come over here. I would love to have you sponsor the podcast. Uh, Anyway, so that's what I've been working on. And then, um, we're just trying to also plan, uh, additional streams of income so that we're not so reliant on only, like, one or two u. Uh, like five or six would be awesome because then you have a lot of safety nets and you have a lot of areas of your life that you can push. Kind of like octopus arms. Like, there's a bunch of arms working on a bunch of different things. But, like, you can push one arm and then be like, okay, we're doing good here. Like, let's push that. And then if it starts fading a bit, you have like, a bunch of other arms that you can push. So not everything has to be like, go 100% at all times, but you have maybe some passive streams of income, maybe something that's like, a bit more trendy at the moment that you're focusing on, maybe something that you're trying to really grow and promote. But not everything is 100% all the time. Like, you know, you have these to fall back on, but usually maybe you're picking just two or three that you're really, like, pushing at any one time, and then you have the rest to kind of monitor in the background. Uh, so that's my goal is to have, like, I would. Yeah, like, five or six streams of income would be really awesome. Um, starting to invest more would be cool. Uh, so I'm like, hey, I've really got to get in my zoom. I just keep saying that I don't know. But, yeah, so that's. That's really what I'm focused on. And then Tali, my friend, Ti's going to come over in a few minutes so we can do some more content planning as well. And. Yeah, but let's get into the healthy habits I'm working on this year. Yeah, so I want to go to the gym more because I want to lose weight, but also I want to become stronger because I've just been slacking on my physical health, like I mentioned. But in order to go to the gym, I need to go in the morning because that's when I have the most time in the day due to my work schedule. So in order to wake up early, I have to go to bed early. And that has been my issue for so long, like, just living here. I love staying up late here, and I normally can't stay up that late. Like in the US I'll easily fall asleep by 10pm because I'm just exhausted. But something about the day here I just get like the zoomies at like 11pm and then I'm up till 2 and it just ruins my morning the next day cause I can't wake up that early. So I need to start waking up by like 7 and get my day started because I've been going to bed really late and then I'm likekay. Well if I want to be funct a functioning human being the next day I need like at least seven hours of sleep. So I think I've figured for myself personally. I think I personally need at least eight hours of sleep. So if I want to have good sleep hygiene and if I want to be a productive, healthy, happy human being, I need to go to bed early enough in order to get eight hours of sleep. So if I want to wake up by seven, I need to go to bed by 10 and fall asleep by 11 because I like to have some bedtime where I'm just like chilling in bed before I'm actually sleeping. Uh Don, everyone's different that way but I like love just sitting in my bed and like going on my laptop and like l looking stuff up and like I don't know. So I love having like just chill bedtime before I actually sleep. So it's like okay, I need to get into bed by
like 9:30, 10 so that I can have some like you know, wind down time before I actually go to sleep at like 11. And that just needs to be, I need to be way stricter on that. Like hey, I got and I know that I'm a bit of a slow, I'm a bit sluggish and I'm not very fast when it comes to getting ready for bed. I don't know why. It's not like I'm slacking off or going super slow but just for some reason my routine takes like over an hour. I mean it can be faster depending on the day but it uh, pro probably takes an hour. So then it's like if I want
to be in bed by 9:30, I gotta start getting read for ready for bed by
like 8:30. If I really don't want to feel rushed and want to do all my skincare and like actually use my red light therapy machine or my red light therapy light. So it's like all these things I've bought to like be healthy. It's like cable. You actually have to cut out the time and the day to use them otherwise they just collect dust and you wasted your money basically. So then I had to come to the conclusion that I can't really go out to eat during the week because a lot of the times, well, I don't finish work till 8 and if I want to go out to eat during the week, normally I would go to dinner at like 8 or
8:30 and then I wouldn't get home till 10 or 11. So that would just totally throw off my schedule. Of course I can make exceptions once in a while, but right now, in like the immediate short term, I really do need to prioritize like getting my bedtime schedule fixed and then maybe in like a month or two I can like start experimenting with going out to dinner once a week, like during the week. Um, but for now it's reserved for like Friday, Saturday and that's it. Which kind of sucks because like I moved here to not be on such like a us schedule. But honestly, if I want to hit my goals and stuff, like I really do need to prioritize like my wellness and like sleeping schedule. And if I want to meet with people, like maybe we can go out for a quick breakfast. You know what I meanuse that's where I have more time in my day. Uh, uh, yeah, because I work late because like I have a lot of customers in the U and like that's just uh, I, I also prefer to work that time anyway so like I could move it up earlier if I wanted to, but I prefer to work later in the day anyway, so like I want to go to bed by 10pm, be asleep by 11pm, work on sleep hygiene as well. Like uh, uh, not being on my phone so much right before I go to sleep because of like the blue light and like stimulating your brain and stuff. Um, um, so I want toa like reduce the time on my phone right before I fall asleep and right when I wake up. Uh, because right when I wake up, I think I would prefer if I maybe just had like, maybe I just have a routine where I put on like a meditation video and like I do my meditations in the morning where I just have like 10 minutes of like affirmations and like thinking about how I'm gonna make the day productive. Like, I don't know, maybe something like that. And I want to go to the gym three to four times a week. So I like I said if I want to go in the morning, I need to be like up and going nice and early so that I don't feel rushed to start work right after. Uh, then I want to drink protein shakes for breakfast because I have a hard time getting enough protein in and especially being on Wagovi. Like I really need to prioritize my protein intake, uh, especially if I want to build muscle as well because like right now I have like zero muscle. So I found that honestly a protein shake for me works way better than caffeine. Like if I have a protein shake in the morning, it is equivalent to like two cups of coffee for me. So it's like a no brainer. Like I get my protein intake and it has the same effect as caffeine for me. It's like duh, uh, like just drink the stupid protein shake. It doesn't taste very good, but if you just chug it, it takes like 30 seconds. So just chug the gross protein shake and it will benefit you much more than like a piece of toast with coffee or tea, you know what I mean? Like for me the protein shake is kind of necessary. So I'm like, heay, just go to the gym, drink the disgusting protein shake and then your day will be off to a much better start. So just do it even if you don't really like it that much. Um, um. Because it does, it does help. I hate to admit it, I hate to admit it guys, but the stupid protein shake helps. And then I have another goal of eating at least one raw vegetable per day, which is like a little silly. But like I said, like, I'm taking care of my body and I eat a lot of um, um, cooked vegetables. I love cooked vegetables, but I'm so lazy when it comes to raw vegetables. My chopper from Amazon has helped a lot. But then, um, I threw up one night and I think it was because maybe I ate too many tomatoes and onions in one day and I have kind of a sensitive stomach. So then I got kind of turned off from eating that for a few weeks and now I haven't eaten raw vegetables in a while. So I'm likekay. I need to figure out a new way to eat raw vegetables and maybe it just involves less tomato and onion, you know, But I need, I don't really like lettuce either because I hate preparing it and I feel like it goes bad like in 30 seconds after you bring it home and put it in the fridge. Like it's already brown and soggy by like the next day. So I just feel like it's honestly kind of a waste of money for me. So at least with like, maybe I could do like carrots, cucumbers, more like a Mediterranean like feta, uh, Greek salad kind of vibe. So I think I need to start adding that in more often because I need more fiber and more, like, raw vegetables. I'll eat cooked vegetables all day long. That's totally fine. It's not that I'm not gonna e cooked vegetables, but I think it's also helpful to have, like, one raw vegetable as well. So for me, I think that needs to be a goal. It doesn't have to be, like, a ton of food, but just something that I'm eating that's raw. I, uh, need to walk every day, even if it's just, like, around the block a couple times. Like, because even if I'm going to the gym, I don't know, it's like, then after I sit at my desk all day, like, I should probably just get out in the evening and just, like, take a brief walk. Maybe I take my trash out. I don't know. I need to just get out of the house one more time. Probably just to, like, stretch my legs. Because then after I've sat all day, it feels kind of like I'm, like, stuck in, like, a shrimp position. And then I have back pain and, like, so maybe it would be good to, like, walk and then come home and, like, stretchuse. I have a yoga mat and, like, a muscle, like a foam roller for my muscles. So I need to, like, be better at doing that too, because otherwise they just sit there and collect dust again. So it's like, I, uh, have to, like, plan time to use those. And like I said, I have red light therapy panel nowuse, like, I have a lot of, like, scars on my skin from, like, surgeries and stuff that I've had and, like, from my autoimmune disease. So, uh, if I want to feel more confident in my skin, I really should prioritize, like, scar creams and red light therapy. And I have been good about using it. Like, this week. I found a way that I like using it. It's like a literal, like, panel that's probably, I don't know, this big by, like, it's like the size. It's like 10 inches tall by, like, maybe 24 inches long. And, um, I just lay in my bed and, like, lay it on top because I was, like, putting it against the wall to stand. And then I was, like, 30 minutes of just standing in front of a light is so annoying. So I was like, oh, wait, I'll just. It's not a comfort. It's not like a flexible panel. Like, you can also get those. But I bought a rigid panel. I just, uh, um, put it on, like, laid it on me like a blanket, like a Hard rock blanket and uh, uh, just lay there and then flip over and it's kind of like a tanning bed, like a mobile tanning bed. So that'snna be my new, like, maybe winding down before bed. Like, I. Like when I turn all the lights in my room off and then you just have the red light on becausee it like, creates like, the red light, like ambiance in the room. I don't know. So that's been kind of nice to like, wind down from the day. Maybe I just listen to like, some nature asmr and like, create like a bit of a spa vibe before I go to bed. Instead of like, emotional tiktoks. That's like one video is like you're crying over a dog dying, and then the other ones, like, getting angry about some social injustice and it's just like dragging your emotions, like ding, ding, ding. And like, you can't do anything about it in that immediate moment before you're going to bed. Like, it's not really helping anyone. You can deal with it in the morning. So it's like that kind of thing. Like, I don't need to be like, rest stimulating my brain with like, really emotional things right before I fall asleep. Uh, so I think, like, the meditating spa vibe with a red light panel before I fall asleep is a much better way to end my day. You know, bring the nervous system down a bit and not rest stimulate it and get all freaked out about things like just bring it down, not stress yourself out again. I also need to wear my Garmin watch. But I. I knew this when I bought it. And I go through stints of wearing it consistently, but right now it's collecting dust and it's not u. It doesn't have any battery right now. Um, but it's on my nightstand. So that's a step in the right direction. Um, but I need to charge it. It's just that I hate the feeling of wearing something on my wrist. I hate it and it gets like, sweaty and sticky and like. But it is helpful because it reminds me to get up and it reminds me how many steps I've taken. And I do kind of like the gamify aspect of it that it's like, connected to your phone and you can like, see the stats of, like, how many steps you've taken. And I do need to wear it more often. But I just. The sensory feeling of it on my wrist, like, o. I really don't like it, but I paid for it and it's sitting there. So, uh, Put it on your stupid wrist and just get over it. I, uh, also want to listen to one book a month on Audible. I had that goal last year and just totally didn't even do it. So then I canceled Audible, but then Drew afallw came out with her book, so then I reupped Audible so that I could buy it. And now I've had Audible active again for another like six months and I'm likekay, well, I have like six months worth of credits to use. Maybe I'll cancel it again for a little bit just to save some money. But I have like 10 books already lined up in my library saved that I want to read or listen to. Uh, uh, so like, Instead of watching YouTube, I can replace a few of those hours with listening to an audiobook instead. Or maybe I listen to the audiobook while I'm doing my red light therapy. Like, I'm just trying to think of ways to combine some of these things so that it saves a bit of time, you know, as well, because when you add all these things up, all the things that you want to do in a day, like, oh my God, it just takes so much time. So if I can, like, double some of these things up, like, maybe I can listen to the audiobook while I'm on my walk at night, maybe I can listen to the audiobook at the gym. But honestly, I don't vibe with that because I need, like, really intense music at the gym to, like, get me motivated. So, um, audiobook at the gym is not really my vibe. But, you know, maybe if I just want I have have a chill walk on the treadmill day. Okay, maybe that's an audiobook day. I don't know. Uh, I also really want to continue knitting. I feel sad because I've been so stressed out this week with, like, work and my personal life that I have not had time to knit. Because let's be real, knitting is a luxury, is not a pastime that is necessary for me. It's more of a luxury that I enjoy, but it's not contributing to my life in a way that will help me make money. So I really kind of need to limit my tasks that I'm doing with any free time that I have to things that will contribute monetarily or in a way that will help me produce better content. So knitting, as fun as it is and as much as I enjoy it, I just don't have time for it right now. So it's been a little bit depressing. But I. I will have time for it. It's not forever. I just need to prioritize other things right now. So hopefully in the future, like, uh, as in like the next month, hopefully I'll have more time for it again once I kind of have my new schedule, like down to a te. But I just need to like, kind of put it to the side right nowuse. It's not, it's not really a necessity. You know, it. It's a luxury for me. So I would love to continue knitting. I have a lot of fun ideas of stuff I want to knit and it's been like a really fun activity for me to start learning and it gets me off my phone and it's a bit more meditative. So I really love knitting, but I just don't really have time for it. Uh, at this specific moment, uh, I would also love to start learning French. I've been wanting to learn a new language for a long time and I keep bouncing between like Portuguese, French, German, Norwegian, Swedish. Like, I just have a lot of languages that I would love to learn. But again, it's not really contributing to me earning more money. So, uh, it's the same with knitting. Like, it's a fun activity for me to do. It's something that I enjoy learning and challenging myself with, but it usually falls to the wayside because it's not something that's really directly impacting me, like in a great way. Not that it's not good, obviously it's really good to learn another language, but it's not on the list of priorities. It's still pretty low, so it usually just gets left at the bottom and I never actually get to it. But this year I would actually love to maybe I dedicate like one hour a week just to like self learning, self learning French time. U uh, yeahuse. I really would love to learn French. I want to go to Paris. I want to spend more time in France because I am m very close to France. I'm just like an hour away from the border, so that would be nice. And then, yeah, most of what I've been working on this week is like, I need to figure out a new schedule for actually filming and editing content and posting content and the way that I portray myself online. Because I think and hey, if you guys are listening and you wa wantn give feedback, please do. Cause I'm feeling, I feel like there's always such a big blind spot when it comes to yourself and your own content. And it's always so easy to look at someone else's content in their profile. And be like, oh, yeah, you should just change this, this, and this, and you would be doing way better. But, like, for some reason, when it comes to myself, I just have, like, such a big blind spot. But I think I use Instagram a little bit too much, like, Tik toc. Like, I post pretty spontaneously. There's not, um, a lot of niches that are really clear. So when you come to my page, it's like a bit like a chaotic personal diary that also has some helpful content. But, like, I would say 50% is like, chaotic personal diary, and the other 50% is, like, some helpful, interesting content. So I think I need to just streamline that a bit more. And, like, I can still post some, um, chaotic personal content, but it needs to be a bit more in line with, like, the vibe I want to portray. So, like, when someone comes to my profile, what are they immediately noticing and what value are they getting from it? Those are, like, the questions I need to answer. Because, I don't know, I mean, I kind of give off, like, so many different vibes of, like, all the different interests I have that it's a bit, like, confusing, I think, maybe. And also, visually, there's not really, like, one visual story going on. Whereas, like, some other people, like, they might just only wear black, or, like, their hair is black and they have bangs. And, like, that's kind of like their image that they're known for. And so in every video they're wearing black, or every post they're wearing black. And, like, they pose a certain way or they take a certain format of, like, photo or video. Or, like, they always take, uh, uh, like, fashion photos, but they're always, like, in the street with a different pose, but they're always taking photos of their fashion. Like, that's what they're known for. So I think, like, when you go to my page, it's a bit like, okay, like, cute, but, like, what, uh, are. What are we doing here? You know? So that's what I've been trying to narrow down a bit so that when someone comes to my page, they're very easily able to answer the question, like, who is she? What is she doing? What is, like, two things about her that I can already recognize just from, like, one quick swipe looking at her profile. So that's honestly way harder than I thought it would be to define. Because I think for me personally, I don't want to be restricted to, like, one niche. Otherwise it would be super easy, like, if I just only wanted to do makeup or I just only wanted to do fashion or just only wanted to do like mental health, it would be super easy to just do that. Anyway, so I'm working on creating more of a personal brand that's very recognizable. And then I also need to make a website. Uh, I need to make blog posts like o I just have a lot, which is all great things. Like they're all great opportunities. But it does take a significant amount of time outside of my regular job to learn these things, put them into practice, dedicate the time and energy to creating and coming up with the ideas and posting. But I guess what you can expect from me is probably like a much more predictable type of content. But yeah, I also would love to take myself on one solo date per month and just kind of think about my goals. And I love this like idea I got from Peyton Sartton that she says like just go to like a really nice like swanky hotel bar, bring like a notebook, bring headphones if you want, order yourself like a nice drink and just journal maybe or think about your goals, think about what you want for yourself and maybe make it more bite sized goals like for the next month. But of course you can do it however you want. But I think it is kind of nice also for exposure therapy just to like go out in public by yourself. Like it's okay to take yourself on a solo date. Like you should do that and get comfortable with it. And maybe even you meet someone there. Like you never know. The universe works in weird ways. Maybe you meet someone there that you were meant to meet that will bring you a great opportunity or like knows someone who knows someone. Like you never know who you're going to meet. You never know if you are meeting the right person at the right time who will know the right person for you to do something really awesome that you never even thought could be possible. So that's also something I want to do. And then I also, like I said, I've been working on investing and like learning about investing and building up my savingsuse that's an area of my life that I have very much slacked on. And um, yeah, I just keep having this mindset of like if you spend money, you'll make money, which has been more or less true. But in my life and I've learned a lot being able to learn from the things that I have spent money on. But I wouldn't be feeling so stressed out this week if I had more savings that I could lean on if I really was in a situation that I was like a oh shit situation. So that's something that I also have as a goal for myself this year. And yeah, so those are my habits for now. I mean I could always add more, but it's like, hey, let's just start with some more bite sized goals. Which these are honestly a lot and I'm not going to try and implement them all at 100% completion at the same time because that would just be a bit crazy. But like my most immediate goal is like learning about investing, um, learning about my content and putting out a more cohesive content strategy and posting schedule and also fixing my sleep schedule so that I can go to the gym more regularly. Like those are like my top three goals right now. The rest of these will come with time, but like I need to just focus on those three. Once I get a hang on those, I can add another one in. You know, it's like juggling. You start with three, you add another one and eventually you get up to like 10. You're juggling 10 balls at a time. U uh, yeah. So I think that's it for this week guys. Um, we'll see what happens with TikTok. I wish you all the best to those who are going through withdrawals. Uh, yeah. Well thanks uh, for listening and if you want to support and if you haven't followed me on Instagram yet, you can go ahead and follow me at Larsen Allen is my regular Instagram and then my reasonably certain Instagram is reasonably certain and I would say follow me on Tik Tok, but uh, you probably can't so we'll just forget about that one for now. But anyway, thanks for listening. Let me know what habits you're working on this year. I really stay away from, from calling them New Year's resolutionsuse that kind of gives me the ic and also I've been working on these things just not as intensely for a long time. But now I'm bringing them back up and being likekay. Let's like really put some concerted effort here. If I want to see change, I've got to like focus my energy like a laser beam into these areas and really give them life for them to change and do some good. So I hope that we can all motivate each other to do some good and really reach our goals. And yeah, have a great week and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.