Reasonably Certain

How to Find Your Personal Style

• Ellen Larson • Episode 49

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EP #49: Ellen takes us on a journey to discover how to find your personal style. She shares how she has personally identified her own style interests, the importance of self-expression, and the role of aesthetics in shaping one's identity. Ellen also rants about crowds during the pride parade in Barcelona. This episode is for you if you want to learn more about your own fashion style and aesthetic!


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>> Ellen:

Hey, guys. Welcome back to Reasonably Certain. My name is Ellen. This is episode 49. And in today's episode, we're going to be talking about how to find your personal style. This is something I am very passionate about, and do I have any formal training in it? No. Do you need formal training in it? No. So let's talk about it. I'm also wearing sunglasses because I got sent to this pair of sunglasses from Sunglass Hut, and I. I haven't gotten a chance to wear them yet, and I need to wear them. And, And they're kind of fitting my new personal style that I've just decided for myself that I have. But these are sick. They have little wires for, like, the earpiece. They are sick. I'm obsessed. Thank you, Sunglass Hut. And I know I'm kind of just, like, starting the podcast off with products, but genuinely, I have, like, my five favorites from the commodity discovery set that they sent me. So I just made a video on commodity fragrance. If you're curious, check it out. It's on YouTube. and I have been loving Juice Bold, Moss Personal, and then also Paper Personal and a book. But book turns a little bit like tobacco Y on me. But I've been really loving combining either Paper Personal and Moss Personal or Moss Personal and Juice Bold. U. Wow. Wow. I'm obsessed. But Moss Personal, I think, is really the standout for me. I just need some more. It's running out. Do you hear that? Mmm. Such a good smell. Oh, my God. I want everything to smell like this. Like my sheets, my hair, my skin. I'm obsessed. So those are my little fragrances that I'm already running out of, and I'm like, crap, do I buy a full size? What do I do? But that's what's going on. So I've gotten some products in the mail this week, and I'm obsessed. And I think it's very fitting to the discussion of finding your personal style. So wanted to bring those up. But before we get into it, I wanted to talk about what I've been up to this past week just to catch you guys up. You know how it is. So this past week, I went to the Soho House here in Barcelona on Friday evening with my friends because unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend the boat party that they went on, which sounds like it was super fun. I'm so sad I missed out, but, oh, well, it was also €50, and I was like, do I really want to spend €50 on a boat party? Well, in hindsight, yes. I do, but I took too long to decide. And then the tickets sold out, and I was like, okay. It took me, like, a few. I was like, just give me a few hours. I've got to sit on this because it feels a bit frivolous to just say, yes immediately. So I was like, I will probably go, but just let me sit on it for a minute. Well, maybe in hindsight, it was best that I kind of lagged, because then the tickets were sold out and I could not go, and I still got to have fun for a fraction of the price because everybody was drunk and they went to Soho after the boat party to continue. Continue the vibes. And I was like, that's perfect timing for me because I'm getting off work, and then I can meet you and continue the vibes. So it was super fun. The Soho Rooftop is super fun in the summer. And, yeah, we just drank, like, I had some tequila, like, a tequila shot with my margarita to catch up with everyone, and then I drank some kava. But to be honest, I didn't eat much on Friday, so. And I also don't know, like, that was my first time drinking on Manjaro, so I was like, wait, something's not feeling good. And when I got home, I was like, I am sweating, and I feel like I'm gonna barf, but I don't have to. So, yeah. I woke up at, like, three in the morning, just drenched in sweat, even though my AC was on. And I was like, I feel like I need, like, 10 ice packs all over my body. Like, this is not okay. And I was just extremely nauseous, but I didn't have to throw up or anything, so I was like, this is terrible. I want to say part of it was because I didn't eat very much food, but I don't know. I've never had the, like, intense drenched in sweat symptoms after drinking, so that was weird. So maybe I'm not really gonna be drinking much on Monarro, which I shouldn't be anyways, guys, if I'm trying to lose weight, like, duh. So maybe it's not such a bad thing. And then on Saturday, I went to theide parade, and that was super fun. I actually, Even though I've gone out for, like, Pride events the past two years, I have never actually gone to the parade for some reason. So that was really fun. Like, such good vibes. I was like, oh, my God, if only the whole world was like this. Like, everyone is just so happy, nice, in a good mood. So, like, lovey dovey, Like, I was like, oh, my God, this is so magical. It was just so fun. Like, every single parade float was, like, iconic. I mean, I was obsessed, so that was so fun. I was dressing up as, like, well, I didn't mean to, but I was like, I'm gonna give kind of like, if I had to give, like, cunty vibes. I feel like, see, this is also personal style because I feel like on the one hand, since I'm more plus size, I have, like, a larger breast bosom, and I have, I don't know, more mature features. I guess I can pull off like a Jennifer Coolidge vibe, but I don't really feel that that is my internal Persona. I do feel it's very fun, but, like, my day to day is not dressing up like Jennifer Coolidge from the White Lotus. Even though when I want to dress up and be Conti, like, well, there's so many different definitions of what I mean as cunty. But, like, for a pride parade, yeah, cosplaying as Jennifer Coolidge from the White Lotus is very on par. Like, very, very, very fitting for the event. And so I wore my pepper mayo dress that I got that fits perfectly. It's so freaking comfortable. I wore my Versace sunglasses that I never take out, but I was like, I've got to get these out on the town and let people know what's up. So I wore my glasses out and I was feeling very Jennifer Coolidge anyways, so that was iconic. But I also wore platform heels, and I knew it was risky because even though platform heels for me are very comfortable because they're platforms, so there's not a huge difference in, like, the height of how high heel is. you know, they're still not sneakers. So. Yeah, we did a lot of walking, and my feet still have, like, three major blisters on them. So that was kind of a fail on my side. But I didn't really expect to be walking as much as we did. I was like, oh, these are good walking heels. And then, you know, walking like, three miles and heels is like, you know, kind of a recipe for disaster, so. Yeah. But either way, that was really fun. But I will say, I. I don't know about you guys, but I am terrified of crowds. And even though it was probably the most sweetest, nicest, funnest crowd that you could find yourself in for a Pride parade or for a Pride concert, like, the crowd was probably great, but it's something like, deep in me that fears people touching me and being in a sea of people, I do not. It's. It's like my literal number one nightmare. So I didn't really know what the plan was for the day. We met up with people. We were done by Arc de Trioiumhe. And then we were meeting up with friends who were already in line to get into the, like, Promenade that leads up to the Arc de Triomph for one of the Pride concerts that evening. And I was like, oh, yeah, we can wait in line with them for a little bit. And then we're getting closer and closer. And I was like, are we going in? Because I don't want to do that. And I was like, okay, maybe I can tough it out and just we can be in the corner and, like, not, like, up near the action and maybe. Maybe I can, like, get over it. So I was like, okay, I can push through. I can do this. Like, I am. I am capable. I can do this. And then, guys, like, we were so close to the entrance. Like, we were finally getting to, like, the last little zigzag that's, like, it wasn't gated until, like, the last, like, little, maybe 30ft of zigzag right before you get in. But they weren't doing, like, ticket checks or TSA checks or anything. It was just basically a funnel to funnel humans in. I was kind of shocked that they weren't doing, like, bag checks or that there wasn't, like, a ticket necessary, because I was like, oh, I didn't even know this was happening. Like, I don't have a ticket or anything. And everyone's just like, oh, no, you just go in. Which is fine. That's also fun. But it was just. It ended up being extremely chaotic because we were rounding the corner by, like, the far end where the Promenade is for the Arcta Triumh. And I was like, guys, we cannot. Like, we've been jumping the line a little bit. Hee haa. That's fine. But, like, as soon as you get to the gated area, like, let's just keep it queue and, like, follow the gated area because, like, crowds can get out of control very quickly. And that's exactly what happened. I was actually so annoyed because I was, like, kind of willing to go in there until it started to just turn into a free for all of people, like, hopping fences. And I was like, bro, this is just. No, I'm. I'm wearing heels. I'm dressed nice. I don't like being in crowds. It's sweaty, people are touching me, People are drunken. On drugs. Like, I'm just. It's getting to the point where I'm turning bitchy, and I don't want to turn bitchy and ruin the vibe. So, like, let's just not. Let's just not. So anyways, literally, like, as we were turning the corner and almost about to get to the gated part, where we would actually enter, and the mo line moves a bit faster. Tell me why. This is. Like, I am. I am very, like, for the rules. I'm like, nope, we can't. We have to maintain the rules. We have to maintain the structure or this will all go to shit. So then I'm in a group of what, like 15 people. And I don't know all of them that well. The only one I know that well is my friend Marley. And so we're in line as we round the corner. Like I said. Sorry, I feel like I keep saying that a million times. We're so close to the gate AP part, we're not there yet. Like, people start cutting the corner and just flooding in and filling in this whole corner space that was open because we were in a line. But there is, like, a bit of open space because you have. There's like just. You have to go in through the funnel. But people were cutting and filling up all of the space and like, mad rushing the corner where you would not even really be able to get into the promenade. But, like, they were all flooding to fill that open space. So it was no longer a line. It was a mob of people just, like, storming and climbing fences. And I was like. Everyone was, like, looking like, should we follow? Should we follow? I was like, guys, no, this is ridiculous. They're gonna yell at them alll and make them come back in line. They didn't. I wish they did. Because then it just turned into, like, the remainder of funneling people in turned into no longer align. Just a mob of people, like, climbing over fences. It was. It was like the walking dead. I was like, this is crazy. Love you guys, but I. No, no, I'm not. First of all, I'm not climbing a fence in a long dress and platform heels. That's crazy. And also, I enjoy structure and order, so why the fuck. And then everybody all. Of course, I didn't know the rest of the group that well. And they're like, oh, no, everyone's getting in that way faster. So they're all cutting the line of the people that were normal and went through the gated part. And then everyone's getting upsetd. And then everyone of course, like, people are sheep. They love to follow a group. They love to follow a line. So then everybody that was around the corner starts seeing the line moving faster because, of course, people are moving up. So then they come and they're like, oh, yeah, let's just follow this group. So then it just turns into a big fat mess. And I was like, you know what? No, I'm not doing this. I was being brave for a second. But this is happening now, and, I've had it up to here. I. It is fascinating how happy I was. And then immediately, as soon as chaos starts to form, it drains my emotional energy, like, so quick because I was like, I'm really not trying to be a downer. I'm genuinely pretty happy. I'm just kind of stressed because I really don't want to go in there, but I don't want to ruin the vibes for anyone. And so I was like, marley, I'm so sorry. I'm probably saving, like, a bit of a bitch right now, but I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really don't want to go in there. So if you want to go in there, be my guest. I literally will not take any offense to it, but I genuinely, like, you could not even pay me to go in there. Like, I really, really don't want to go in. So I was like, please, please, please don't feel bad if you want to go in. Blah, blah, blah. So we hemmed and hot over it for about five minutes, and she ultimately decided she didn't want to go in. So then we met up with my friend Ellie and her Irish friends over at this restaurant, and we had a lot, you know, fun drinking with them and getting some tacos and just hanging out at a restaurant, which was much more my speed because we had a table. There was no chaos, there was no crowds. It was just a table at a simple Mexican restaurant with cocktails and tacos. That's my idea of a good time. So the concert looked fun. I did see u snaps and. Or snaps. Oh, my God, what am I in 2015? I did see videos of our friend group that was there, but I'm so glad I didn't go in because they all wanted to be, like, towards the front, where you're, like, in the mosh pit of people. And I'm like, girl, no. I would have been so overstimulated. Like, I'm sorry, there's just. I'm going on a rant about this, but there's just, like, one thing in life That I will never do. And it's like going to a free for all crowd concert vibe. Like, I just. No, no. If I'm going to a concert, if big, if it has to be an artist that I'm, like, really willing to see. And then even then, I need my seat and I need my little bubble where no one is going to encroach or get their sweaty arms all over my arms or get their stink all over me. Like, ah, no, no. Okay. If I have my seat and my little spot, then we're good. Okay, so. But otherwise, I mean, it was still a very fun day, but there was just that one little blip in the middle where I was like, okay, I'm not going in there. And then it was fine, and we left. and then this morning, I went on a hike with Marley, and we had fabulous time. I got in outfit gifted from Organic Basics. So that was really nice of them. And I was like, I love, again, personal style. I love a sleigh hiking fit. So this is where I'm, like, always in a dilemma, even just with, like, personal branding, because personal style does tie into that very much. But I love so many different aesthetics. So we can kind of jump into the topic now. So how to find your personal style. And I can talk a little bit first about, like, how I have found mine, sort of slash, I'm still on the path to finding mine and, like, what it means to me. And then maybe we can get into how you can find your own personal style. And that's super exciting. And I think I'm just gonna keep these sunglasses on. I don't know. I'm kind of loving it. I feel kind of like a Matrix vibes. I don't know. but yeah, I love so many different aesthetics and, like, there's no rules to life, right? You can do literally whatever you want. You can dress however you want. You, like, you don't have to follow anything I'm saying. This is more for the people that are, like, wanting to polish their look a little more, have something a little bit more, like, known. Or, like, maybe, like, this is such their vibe. Like, so and so is such this vibe. Like, if you want to, I don't know, streamline your look and your branding a little bit, especially if you have an online presence. You don't have to have an online presence to do any of this, but it's very helpful if you want to have an online presence. because you kind of need to know, like, what is you and it's More, it's more like a journey of self discovery than it is like needing to have all this crazy like niche knowledge about fashion. You don't need to know anything about fashion. You just need to know what you like so that when you're going out to buy things in the future, you are buying things with the intention of it fitting a certain vibe that you like. It's not like this isn't about forcing yourself to fit into some sort of box and feeling squished. So that's kind of what I'm struggling with now is like I feel or I love, for example, when I come across someone's profile and they have like a very defined aesthetic and it's just like, oh my God, that is so cute. Like I want to have that. But when you look at my profiles, you don't really see that. Like yes, you can kind of tell, like, oh, she wears some girly dresses. Oh, she likes to dress up, like kinda, you know, classy, not like too much skin revealing. U. but it's not like super clear what my vibe is. You know what I mean? Like, if you took a one second, like swipe, swipe through my profile, what would you get from that as far as like, oh, if you like, if you took a quick swipe, swipe, literally one second, just snapshot. Looking at my Instagram, for example, would you be able to tell me what my aesthetic is as far as like my outfits and everything in my style? I don't think you could. I don't think you could. And that's not a bad thing. But it's just not what I want. Like I would love to have more of a set style on my profiles. So that's kind of what I've been discovering lately is like, what do I want? And a lot of it when I was growing up, like I didn't have a style because I was just wearing whatever fit me. And like I would follow a lot of micro trends and it's not a bad thing to follow them. Like, I just think it kind of leads to overconsumption and like kind of leading people to wear things that they might not necessarily find that they like that much. They're just trying to fit into a trend. but I find myself rotating or like gravitating between like Avant Garde Berlin, which is very much on one scale or one side of the scale, I guess you could say. But I just keep getting drawn to it. I love it so much. But I can't tell at this point in my life since It's a fairly new style to me. I can't tell if it's something that I truly resonate with or if it's something that is maybe a bit more trendy right now that I just like right now, but that I might not like super vibe with in the future. So for me it feels a bit too new to really like fully commit. But what I feel comfortable committing to is like what I have on today. Like these Montclair sunglasses. They're like a little edgier than your average sunglasses. I kind of like that vibe. I'm obsessed with sunglasses. That's like something a lot of people know about me. I love having a fucking sick ass pair of sunglasses and I love making that like a feature of my outfit or like one of the focal points of my outfit. And then this shirt for example, like from far away, it just looks like a black button up shirt and it looks like pretty boring, but it's actually like this almost like bole, like mesh boucle, if that makes sense. Like it's kind of see through and I don't know, that fact alone makes it like kind of edgy. And you can dress it up to be more like classy vibe or like you can wear it and kind of like how I am now with these specific glasses. Like make it a little bit more like alt grunge edgy because of the texture. So I love like simple pieces that have like something a little bit unique about them. So this shirt has been like one of my number one favorite shirts that I've purchased this year and it's from Gina Treottt and I love their website. Like it's very reasonably priced clothing but it's, I feel like gets much more interesting than like just going to like Zara or something. Like I never shot from Zara or H and M, no offense. I feel like it's so overdone and so boring and like so blah. You can do better than that. Find something more interesting. So I've been ping ponging between avant garde, Berlin Core, something like that. You guys can look it up. But I'll also include I made a video. I'll include some clips in the YouTube video just so you can get a vibe. But if you're listening, just, just look it up and you'll see what I mean. also like, I want to call it like witchy Americana, but you could also just call it like western, but not really western wear for women because it's. I don't want to dress like I'm Going to the barn every day, even though that is also slay as fuck. But I don't necessarily want to dress like I'm going to the barn. I kind of want to dress like a 90s Western witch, a 90s Western liberal witch, which could is such a vague description. But I think for those of you who are kind of tuned into those keywords on the Internet, you know what I'm talking about. So I'll put the clips here as well, or the photos here as well of what I was thinking of when I, you know, put that term together. So, like, witchy Americana love. Like, kind of like you're in, like, Palm Springs or, like, in the desert somewhere, and you're maybe having, like, a cigarette and a Coke with your Corvette, and there's like, somebody playing a guitar in the background or something. I don't really like country music that much, and I don't really like people playing guitar. They think they ruin the vibe. Stop playing guitar, people. Nobody wants to hear you play guitar. But I think that I like that vibe. But I'm just like, do I just like it for the aesthetic, or do I like it for me personally? So now that I think about it more, I'm like, well, but sometimes I'm loving that aesthetic because sometimes in certain points of my life, I'm really leaning into, like, the horse girl thing, But I'm not letting into the horse girl thing all the time because it's expensive and I'm not always riding horses. And so sometimes it kind of falls out of my brain because horses are not always, like, the forefront of my mind. And, of course, you don't have to be around horses to dress like that. But for me, it feels more aligned when I'm doing something with horses more often than I feel like, oh, yeah, let me dress more like witchy Americana. But I'm not doing that all the time. So it kind of feels like a little extra to be doing all that because it doesn't really feel like who I am. So then I'm like, well, I don't know that I really dress like. It's kind of like boho, kind of western, kind of like 90s. And, like, you can call it whatever you want. I like these names because that's kind of like, the idea I want you to have if I wear something like that. And then the next one I think I put was, like, streetwear. I've always connected with streetwear so much because I've been very much like, a big part of my identity is like being an athlete. Even though I'm not athletic as fuck right now, I'm fucking non athletic as fuck because I haven't worked out that much in years and I haven't been consistent in years and I haven't even been in a team sport since high school. So it's like, girl, who are you calling yourself an athlete? But that was like literally my core identity my whole life. So I still feel that very much, even though I'm an adult and I'm not in any sort of sport. But I feel at my core or at some part of my personality that I am an athlete. So I really resonate with streetw wear, even though it's not even for athletes. But it is tends to be more athletic and I like that it's a bit more unisex and I like that it's a bit like kind of cool girl, like not trying to be super feminine or whatever. But then I'm like, ah. I don't know though, because think I think that I've done that, like I've been there, done that'the streetwear thing. And I don't think that that's a style that I want to carry into like my 30s, for example. I think it was a great style for me in my 20s. And again, this is my personal opinion. Like I love people wearing whatever they want to wear. I genuinely don't care. It's just for me personally, I feel like it's not fitting the vibe I am having as I go into my 30s, I feel like it's feeling a bit like, okay, I've been there and done that. That was like my 20s era. I did the street weearar thing. I feel like it's not really fitting like what I want to wear all the time. Of course I'll still wear that from time to time. But do I want to be, do I want that to be like my core aesthetic? I don't think so. And then the other one I always come back to is like old money equestrian, which I personally love. M But then I'm again, it's one of those things where I'm like, does it fit me? I don't know because I love the vibe. I love it when I see it on other people. But then when I wear it sometimes I feel a bit like stuffy and like too prim and proper. And I don't feel that that really is matching with who I am. So if anything, I would resonate with what I've discussed with CHATBT to try and figure out what this aesthetic or what this core would even be called. And me and Chechybt came up with the name soft glam grunge or, like, soft glam alt grunge, because I noticed that a lot of influencers have this lately. And again, I'm like, is this a trend that I'm, like, tuning into that will come and go? Like, is this something that I want to align myself to that is just not here to stay? But it's like, you can decide what's here to stay. You can keep a trend going for your whole life if you want. Like, I just think I appreciate people who know themselves so well and have such a defined aesthetic that you're like, oh, my God, that they have such good style. Like, that's so good. And it's not always about following, like, a trend to a T or whatever. Like, it's very much like learning what you like about certain trends and kind of making your own aesthetic to a point. but I find that the people that do the best are, like, people with tattoos and piercings. They will slay it every time. People with tattoos and piercings. Also people who dress, like, super ultra feminine with, like, more like, ruffles and lace. That's definitely never been my vibe, even since I was a little kid. Like, for sure. I've never been into ruffles and lace. Like, the ultra feminine, like, cottage girl. Cottagecore never been my vibe. So I can for sure cross that one off the list. And then, like, the other one I love is, like, gorpor hot hiking aesthetic. But I am going to reserve workout aesthetics as, like, a separate category. And I think you can have different workout aesthetics that kind of, like, link into your main aesthetic. So then I feel like you have, like, your main aesthetic, and then off of that, maybe there's like, a branch, so there's like, a workout aesthetic. this is getting so first world cringe, guys. Like, if you're just, like, rolling your eyes at me, I don't blame you for shutting this off. This is for the people who want to, like, dive in deep to their personal style and, like, really, really figure this shit out. It's kind of silly for the average person. For me, I fucking love it. So I get it. If you're rolling your eyes and being like, what are you even talking about? What the fuck is gorb core? I get it. I love these little niche corner, like, armpits of the Internet. This is my jam. So anyways, you have your core style, whatever that is. It doesn't have to be just one thing. For me personally, for some reason, I feel. I feel that I need to narrow it down a bit because I feel, as with my content, as with the way I make content, that I'm always a bit over the place because I love so many things. How can you box it up? But for my success of having whatever personal brand I want to have online, I do feel that I have to figure out, like, okay, what do I really like and what do I. What vibe do I want to have moving forward? So this is. This is the goal that I'm trying to have. And I'm, mostly talking about me right now. I will get to you guys, but you can learn from my discussion and my thought process. So I'm thinking that inna lean a little bit, just ever so slightly. Like, if I could combine, like, streetwear, goth, avant garde, and then like, influencer aesthetic, if I could, like, combine that into one aesthetic. So that's kind of what I was seeing with Chatt gbt when I was analyzing these certain aesthetics that we, like, discussed that was like soft, glam ut grunge. So it's kind of like a mixture of, like, the ig badattdie model, like IG model and avant garde and like, kind of blending those two together. And you can blend that in a million different ways. Like, nothing is set in stone. But I've noticed a lot of similarities that I seem to be very, like, drawn to. So again, I'mnna say, like, my main aesthetic is going toa be. I think this is kind of my decision. Anything is subject to change. What I feel most drawn to right now is like, this soft, glam grunge. I love, like, gorpcoe hiking outfits, and I also love, like, avant garde high Runway fashion or like editorial fashion maybe is the better descriptor. So it's like I'll have my core everyday style, my going outash, getting really dressed up style, and then my workout style. And those are kind of like the three realms of style that I'm working with. And so then in my daily style, the soft, glam grunge style, I noticed, like, a lot of girls might have, like, they have like full sleeves of tattoos and then tattoos all over their hands. Maybe they have some tattoos up their necks. U, maybe they have some tattoos on their legs. Whatever. They have a lot of tattoos, but it's like not always the traditional tattoos where they're quite thick and obvious. Some girls have sleeves of just fine line tattoos, which I think I vibe with a bit more because I am not somebody who's, like, super, super obsessed with tattoos in the sense that I would research, like, every single traditional tattoo artist in the planet and travel just to get the tattoos done and spend, like, thousands on each tattoo. And, like, I really respect that, but I don't find that I want the aesthetic of, like, a full sleeve of traditionalist tattoos. Like, that doesn't really fit my personal vibe. I love when people have a full sleeve of tattoos, but they're a bit thinner and a bit more, like, I don't know, like a canvas of your life and your experience and, like, your preference in art. So it's, like, very custom and very unique to each person. So I love, like, a random collection of basically, like, scribbled drawings that basically look like cave drawings. Okay, maybe a bit more sophisticated than that, but I don't even mind the look of, like, kind of. I guess some people might consider it a shitty tattoo, but, like, a really fine line basically looks like someone drew on you with pen. I kind of vibe with that. I don't know some people, and I'm not super in the tattoo artist realm of the world. Okay. So maybe some tattoo artists have very strong opinions about that. I kind of like how it looks. So I've been toying around with the idea because for some reason, a sleeve feels like a really huge commitment to me, which it is. And I already have finger tats on the sides of m. My fingers. I have four of them, and I've got. I've had them for 11 years now. I got them when I was 19. I don't regret them. The only thing I do regret is they are not fine line enough for me. And I felt that even since the first day I got them, because I had photos of extremely fine line tattoos. And I understand the artist's point of view because he explained it to me a little bit when he did them, and he was like, yeah, but if I do it that fine. They might disappear. I told them several times, like, girl, I don't give a fuck if it disappears. I'll get it redone. I don't. I don't care. Like, that's cool. And so they were like, okay, I guess we'll do finger tattoos on you. And I was like, yeah, that's what I'm here for, girl. Do it. I don't give a fuck. And they are not fading at all. But he did them too thick, and he was like, I don't want to do them too fine line ll they'll fade away right away. So Maybe. I don't know. I'm not a tattoo artist again, so I can't give any expert opinion on this, but I have always been, a little bit annoyed with them just being, like, a little too thick. And then, like, some of the lines, like this. This one on my finger blew out. It could have easily been because of the way I handled it in the healing process. I don't remember. But the one side of the heart has the most perfect thinness of the line, and the other side is so fucking blown out that I'm like, dude, what the hell were you doing? So that tattoo is my least favorite, simply because one side is a perfect fine line, and the other side is so fat and blurry that I'm like, this does look like, a kindergartner drew on me with Penn, so it is a little annoying. The rest of them are pretty much fine, though. They healed fine. They look fine. And I kind of vibe with the hand tattoos, and I noticed a lot of influencers. You guys probably don't even realize a lot of influencers have hand tattoos on the back of their hand, but there's such fine line tattoos that you don't even really register that they have tattoos because it's not like the traditional thicker tattoos that you might be used to seeing. So they're really fine, and they don't even stand out that much on your hand or, like, make it extremely obvious that you have tattoos. I kind of love that, and I kind of just want to fill up the back of my hands with a bunch of, like, drawings and, like, little. Little drawings that mean something to me. Like, I want to get, like, the Barcelona flower, because I live in Barcelona. I would love to maybe get, like, a pomegranate, because I first lived in Spain when I studied abroad in Granada, and their, like, symbol is a pomegranate. I would love to get, like, a little horse, a little dog paw. Like, these are very unserious drawings. You know what I mean? But I think it's kind of cute to just have them. Very fine line. Way more fine than the ones that are. Sorry, I'm not trying to flick you off, but way more fine than the ones that are on my fingers. You know what I mean? Like, way finer than that. Because I had this thick of a line on the back of my hand, I would be a bit upset. So I am, toying around with that idea. I've been on a journey to get more piercings. But, again, all these things cost money, and tattoos are very permanent. Right. So, like, you'll probably never regret not getting the tattoo. So I'm really, like, I've already had this idea in my head since, like, February. It's July. I don't have money to go get a bunch of tattoos on the back of my hand right now, nor. Nor do I really need to. This is a very vain, you know, decision that I would, like, just for, like, oh, my God, I want toa be so aesthetic and, like, fit into my aesthetic. But I have been really loving the idea of doing that. So I'm waiting, though, making sure I still love the idea, like, even in a year from now, making sure it's not just a phase, because I can always get them later. But I would rather wait and make sure I really like the idea rather than rush and then, like, regret it and then want to get them lasered off later on. So this aesthetic, like, I love, like, the Maximus jewelry aesthetic since I went to Copenhagen last year. Like, I found I just never really dove into all these, like, different kind of more unique style choices and, like, having such maximalist jewelry. I'm a big fan of. And I love girls that have, like, they have, like, 10 piercings on each ear, like, a huge earring cuff in the middle of their ear, and their ear is just, like, blinged out. I love that look. So I'm like, okay, last year I got my second done or my doubles done. Finally. I only ever had my first holes done in my cartilage. So now I have, like, my first, my seconds, my cartilage. And I would love to get even more piercings. And then I. I think with, like, that's, like, stuff that kind of stays on you, right? Like, the tattoos and the piercings are very much, like, a part of you. And then the makeup style also comes into play. But I think for, like, the clothing style, I still want to keep it, like, kind of sexy, sleek chic, but with a little bit of a dark twist. And it doesn't need to be so avant garde that it's, like, straight up like a ghost from the cemetery who's, like, crying with, like, black tears on your makeup. Like, that's fun. I think if you're going to, like, a fashion show. But for my everyday outfits, you know, I'm not trying to be full goth, but something about this, like, soft, glam grunge I'm obsessed with, where it's, like, kind of edgy. Like, I guess you could call it, like, the goth version of an IG model. Like, I don't really know how else to describe it other than so many girls I've seen that I follow, like, do this aesthetic so well. And the number one I can think of is Sophie Floyd. She nails this, like, so well. I mean, she should. She's a tattoo artist, like, period slay queen. And then another girl I follow is Parisa. I think her handle is Bad Kid hq. And I would say she's less goty vibe, but I don't know. You guys tell me if you take a look at their profiles, tell me whatever that aesthetic is where it's, like, slightly edgy. Ever so slightly edgy, but still very aesthetic, still very ig Badattdy. I don't even know what to describe it. So I'm really into whatever that is. And then also a girl I follow called, Eve Kelly. But she does a little bit, like, I would say, like, Parisa and Sophie are in one group and then Eve is in another group where she does a little bit more, like, street style, gorp core, where she's wearing, like, maybe a little bit more like windbreakeers and like, hiking outfits and, like, you know, like the trend with, like, the giant, snow pants for, like, skiers and snowboarders. She's not wearing snow pants, obviously, but it's kind of like that aesthetic where it's like, she's wearing, like, baggier cargo pants and, like, a windbreaker, but it looks like it's not just any baggy cargo pants and any windbreaker, like, they're good as fuck. So I'm leaning into those aesthetics right now. Kind of loving it. Never really thought that I would kind of be into this low key, edgy lifestyle. But I think it all started with me allowing myself to try cool, toned makeup and silver jewelry and then being like, wait, am I being transformed into, like, a goth girl? Like, I'm obviously being a bit ridicul, like, extreme in saying that I'm not being goth, but it just is, like, an aesthetic that I never thought I would be drawn to. But now here I am. I love wearing silver jewelry. I love wearing lots of jewelry. I want piercings, I want tattoos. So I feel that that's kind of like, fitting my aesthetic. I don't know, because I don't feel as comfortable, as comfortable or as cool in other aesthetics, if that makes sense. So if you guys are able to nail down a name for that so I can research it a bit better. Please do. But that's kind of the story of me. I know we spent a lot of time on me But I hope that helps you understand. Kind of, like, that's my thought process. So hopefully that gives you, like, a good idea of kind of how I think about it. But I've been loving Pinterest for the past, like, year or two, but especially lately, like, I've been making Pinterest boards of, like, certain aesthetics so that I can see the aesthetic kind of, like, at a glance and be like, hm, does this resonate with me? And so maybe you can look up on TikTok or Pinterest, like, certain aesthetics, like, even, like, the ones I mentioned today. But there's so many aesthetics, you can look up and see if they resonate with you. Also, just like, journaling, I think, helps a lot because then you can know, like, what do you like? Who do you like to follow? Like, do you like, like, audit the people that you follow? Do you really, really feel drawn to any of their aesthetics? Like, that's how I found a few. Like, of the people that I just mentioned that I was like, wait, I'm kind of obsessed with their style. Like, I knew I followed them for a reason, but when I really think about it, I think it's because I love, like, their entire aesthetic and then their style, and I want to be like them because I think they're so cool. So there's that. You can research Pinterest, TikTok, audit the people you already follow, look in your own closet, pick out the pieces that you're like, wow, I'm, so obsessed with this. I need to wear this more often, and then see if there's any patterns. So it's a lot of just, like, research and then identifying patterns and the stuff that you tend to like and then seeing if there's any, like, common threads there. And again, like I said, you don't have to box yourself into, like, a quote, unquote, s aesthetic or whatever. But it is kind of helpful just to narrow it down a little bit, because otherwise it can feel a bit overwhelming with, like, how much fashion there is, and, like, style there is out there. And so I think just starting a Pinterest board and, like, throwing stuff in that you like and then finding common threads and common patterns is the best way to do it. And then start looking for other things that you like. Like, is it a specific color palette? Is it a silhouette? Is it a fabric? Is it just general vibes? What about it specifically do you like? And then I guess it also helps if it reflects your personality. So, like, what do you do for your job? What do you like to do for your hobbies? Are you someone that's super outgoing and you always want to make a statement or you prefer a bit more like relaxed. Like, you know, relaxed, not super flashy vibe? Are you always traveling? Are you working from home? Like, logistically, does it make sense to buy some. Some of the certain things that you're buying for your aesthetic? Like, how do you want to be perceived in your aesthetic as well? Like, do you want to be perceived as more polished or more like grungy and alternative? Do you want to be perceived as more like fun or more serious? Like, if you've ever looked at a branding deck for like a rebrand, so you can also look that up. I think it's also helpful because for a brand strategy deck and. Well, not brand strategy for like a rebranding deck or a brand guidelines deck for a company's brand, like let's say for like Khalifa Farms, I don't know, Khifa Farms, Milk, they somewhere in their marketing team have a brand strategy deck or a brand guidelines deck. I keep saying strategy. It's really more of a brand guidelines deck. So they will have a brand guidelines deck. In that deck, ah, there will likely be a slide that's like, how do we want to be perceived? And there's usually like a line with like a sliding scale and then you make notes and get more specific about it. But when you're just kind of researching this stuff, like with a brand, you're usually like, hey, okay, you want to do a rebrand? So let's start with the basics. Do you want to be more fun or serious? Do you want to be more like, informative or inspirational? Do you want to be more light colored or dark colored? Like it's kind of these like extremes and you kind of in these comparative extremes, you decide kind of like where you want to land on this like slider. And just from that little temp check alone, you can kind of see what your aesthetic would be just by doing like a little quiz, I guess. So I would also recommend looking up like brand guidelines decks or like how to do a rebrand, how to decide your brand vibe. And you can also apply that to you and your like, personal style. And then also like, the fit of your clothes makes a big difference. So this isn't necessarily in the style so much, but certain styles can have maybe certain types of clothing or shapes of clothing that fit you better. So that's why I feel like I'm not resonating a ton with street Weear, because I Guys, this is very superficial. All of this is very superficial. But I don't like having big boobs. And I feel like big boobs really, for me, ruin the street weear vibe for me because I just feel like having big boobs equals flirty and feminine and lacy, and I don't like that vibe. I like. I also just prefer the look of, like, small boobs in a big butt. That's not everyone's taste. That's my taste. So, like, for myself personally, I feel very out of m my alignment having big boobs. I literally cannot wait to get them cut off. And I say that, like, being so extravagant. I'm never going to have super small boobs, but I just don't want to have big boobs. I really don't. It's ruining my aesthetic. I don't like it. so I feel like, at least in the meantime, like, the kind of more, like, influenced glam fits my aesthetic a bit better because I do really, like super glam makeup, super glam hair, dressing up a lot. And that aesthetic can still work with, like, big boobs, but sometimes I feel a bit like, out of, like, that I'm not matching with, like, street wear aestetic, even though I do enjoy it from time to time. And I also find that for me personally, with the body shape I have, that I actually look better in tighter tops. So I look better. Even though sometimes you might want to hide a little bit because, like, maybe you don't want to show off. Like, if you have a bit of extra fat around your back and your midsection and you don't really want people to be able to see every little curve and roll. But I've found at least that I look much, much better in tighter tops because it actually shows off that I do have a waist instead of just making me look like a box, because, you know, like, the airpod shape, like, if you just have a T shirt and the T shirt hangs over your boobs, it's just a straight line down. So then you get no shape, no curves, no nothing. And it just kind of makes you look like a giant box. So I find that I look much better with, like, a tight top, even if I sometimes feel a little bit insecure. But I. I almost always need to accentuate, like, my rib cage and my waist so that it gives me some shape and actually shows off my body shape and doesn't make me look like a giant, like, box. So that's what fits me best. And I don't mind wearing, like, looser pants. I find that I look best in, like, a tight top and loose pants. Some people might prefer looking like how they look in a loose top and tight pants. I don't know. For me, I find I look best with a tight top and loose pants. And that's kind of been my formula over the years. Like this shirt, even though it's not super tight, I love, like kind of a V neck as well. So I can show off, like a tiny bit of cleavage but not much. And I still get to show some M skin. But maybe I don't always want to show my arms because I get a little bit, you know, sick of that over time. So I like that this has a little bit of cleagege at the top, and then the buttons in the middle at the bottom actually stop a little bit earlier than where you would think. So it gives the shirt kind of like this hourglass effect where the buttons are only really in the middle, where you kind of really need the coverage. And then it actually splits at the top and bottom and gives kind of like an interesting shape. So, like, start figuring out which pieces in your closet, like, you can just look at the closet or the pieces that you already own and figure out which ones you gravitate towards the most. And then again, like, find the similarities between them. Like, why do you like it? Is it the shape? Is it the way it fits you? Is it the size? Is it the color? Is it the cut? There's a lot of reasons why you might like a certain piece of clothing. And then the other thing I did, which I love doing this type of shit in my free time, I did an entire personal styleash color analysis for myself, and I made an entire deck. So what you can do is once you've identified, like, the vibe and the aesthetic that you generally like, and then you've, identified your color palette, there's like, websites online that you can upload photos of yourself and just keep picking different colors of your skin. So like, pick maybe one from your forehead, one from your cheek, one from your chin, one from your nose, one from your chest, and get you, like, a different part of your eye and a different part of your hair. And so you basically just pick the colors of, like, your eyes, hair, and skin. And then it tells you your color season. This isn't like a end all, be all. Of course you can wear whatever colors you want. But I found out that I am like a. I think I'm a cool summer slash something autumn. I've already forgot. But I generally look Better. Like, I can tend to pull off both, but I generally look better in neutral, cool colors. And I tend to look better. And I prefer to wear, like, blues, yellows, obviously, like beige, white, black. Those are easy. I think anyone can wear those. If I'm wearing color, I prefer to wear, like, a blue or a cool toned yellow or a cool toned green. And those are kind of my, like, favorite colors. If I have to wear color, maybe a pink, but I tend to gravitate towards, like, blue and green for my own color palette. And then I made an entire dler. and then I made slides with the colors that I find would be the best to add as, like, a'like, a pop of color in my wardrobe. And I found, like, style icons that, that have, like, the same color season as me. They have a similar vibe and style as me. So that if they're, especially if they're celebrity, they already have a stylist. So if you can find, like, your equivalent celebrity that has your same color season and a similar fashion vibe to you, you can basically just, like, use them as your inspo. Because they probably already have a whole team of people behind their wardrobe. So you can use them on Pinterest and, like, and if you decide to make, like, a color palette slash personal style deck for yourself, then you can use them in your deck and kind of help narrow down, like, how to shop for you and your body and your colors and whatever. So I find that very fun. And I find it fun to have, like, a corner set of neutrals. And what type of neutrals do you gravitate towards? Like, do you gravitate more towards browns? Or do you gravitate more towards grays or a beige or, like, a nude or a tan? Like, what neutrals do you gravitate towards the most? What colors look the best with those neutrals in your color season? And then you can start actually shopping by those colors and those silhouettes and those styles and then online shopping or whatever shopping you do. I guess I prefer online shopping, but then you actually buy pieces that kind of align with this style. M Moving forward. So I think it's like a very fun experiment to just learn a little bit more about yourself. And then if you want to go further, you can learn more about brands and, like, materials that would flatter you the most or, like, brands that you would want to support moving forward, that maybe they also fit your requirements for, like, meeting a certain standard of ethics or, like, sustainability. And then you also find that they sell clothing that you like in a Reasonable price point. Like you see how difficult this can kind of get. Like, this is why people pay for stylists. Because it can get kind of difficult to like meet all this criteria. But anyways, eventually you'll, once you do all this work, you'll kind of land on like an outfit formula, even if it's very general and very vague. But you'll eventually land on like some sort of outfit formula that you feel works best for you. Like for example, I usually wear some sort of like light colored slacks that are very like thin. They're not super thin, but they're pretty lightweight. So I can wear them in the summer and I can wear them in the winter. So I have like a black pair, a tan pair and kind of like a gray pair. Yeah, I guess I have like a beigie pair and a gray pair. So I have black, gray, beige. And I can rotate through all of those with many different topsuse. Those are very basic pants that go with pretty much anything. And then I have a lot of different tank tops that I first of all find flattering. Second of all have the ability to wear a regular bra with. So they have straps thick enough that cover my bra strap because I don't always be, want to be wearing a freaking strapless bra. So those are like, that's like my criteria for like an easy summer outfit. It's like a pair of like linen slacks or just lighter fabric slacks, like a lighter weights, you know what I mean? Like so they're not so thick and hot. And then some sort of tank top and maybe like a button up shirt that I can throw on like, I like to call it like the Chessy fit from Parent Trap. Like a nice pair of pants, a nice tank top and a nice button up. And you can rotate that in a million different ways. So for me that's like one of my go to outfit combos. And I can make it a bit more edgy, I can make it a bit more flirty, feminine. So it can all change just based on like the colors, textures and like the cut of the clothing that you're buying. But the formula stays relatively the same. It changes all the time. Obviously you're not meant to pick it one day and just stick with it forever. But I think it's a very interesting like self discovery activity. And then once you kind of nail down the wardrobe piece, I mean you don't have to do it in any particular order, but then you can discuss more about or then you can figure out more what you like about like Your hair, your makeup and your accessories and kind of find an aesthetic that you are drawn to. So, anyway, I've talked quite a lot, but I could talk even just about hair and makeup and accessories and basically keep going and make it its own episode. But you kind of get the point. Spend a lot of time on Pinterest, on Instagram, on TikTok. Start, like, finding patterns and the stuff that you like. Start finding out why you like certain pieces that you already own. Is there something that you want to change about yourself, or is there something that you already really like about yourself that you want to keep the same? do you want to be, again, like, the brand. Brand guidelines thing? Like, more serious or more fun, educational, or more inspirational? Like, where do you want to land on that scale? So, anyway, I think just, like, checking out people's profile is. And, like, it sounds a bit stalkerish and a bit creepy, but, like, most of us, when we are looking at a photo, we're not, like, picking it apart and, like, studying it and analyzing it. And I'm not saying you should do this to everyone's photos, but if you're drawn to a certain aesthetic of photo or a certain common type of outfit and you're not sure why, I think it's best to literally, like, study the photo. Is it the way they're posed? Is it the way they've done their makeup? Like, sometimes you might like the photo or you might like the outfit and you think it's the outfit, but really it's like, just all the stuff they have going on with the outfit. Like, they probably have tattoos and, like, a nice set of jewelry on their hands and their wrists, and they have a cool haircut or a cool hair color or they're posed in a cool venue or a cool backdrop. Like, it's not always just the outfit. Like, there's always usually a lot of things that add to the overall aesthetic of the photo or the video or whatever you're looking at that make it the way it is? So I love, like, studying certain patterns in, like, pictures that I like and being like, okay, why do I like this? Is there something in this that maybe I need to add into my life to make my life better? I don't know. But let me know what you guys think. Have you guys tried finding your own personal style? Because I, again, I'm feeling a bit conflicted, but I'm really drawn to this. Like, tattoos, piercing, kind of glam, kind of grunge, and I don't really know what to call it. And I don't know if it's just a trend for me, because I don't want to, like, go all in on it and get tattoos and a bunch of piercings and then, like, regret it later on. And I don't think I would, but I'm like. I have to really ask myself, like, am, I the person that would have a lot of tattoos and piercings? I think maybe. I don't know. I think I keep getting drawn back to it. So these are the questions you got to ask yourself. Except you don't have to do any of this, because this is just very superficial. But I think it is very fun. So I hope this was helpful if you listened along and you stayed this far. And let me know if you have, like I said, found your own personal style or if there's, like, any aesthetics that you're really drawn to. Because I'm also just obsessed with researching certain aesthetics. So if you have any aesthetics that you've been loving, let me know. I definitely want to look them up in Pinterest. And other than that, I think that's it. So, thanks for listening, thanks for supporting. Don't forget to like and subscribe, and I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.