Reasonably Certain

Yearning for Nature + We All Have Zoochosis

• Ellen Larson • Episode 50

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EP #50: We made it to episode 50!!! Ellen shares her yearning for the sweet embrace of nature and animals. She's been in the city for far too long and craves the peace of a farm, without pigeons. She also discusses how she thinks all humans have zoochosis, and we need to quite literally touch grass.

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>> Ellen:

Hey guys. Welcome back to Reasonably Certain. My name is Ellen. This is episode 50. We've made it to 50 episodes. And today we're going toa be talking about yearning for nature because as you know, I'm currently living in Barcelona and it is a beautiful city. it also is very close to nature. But I, I miss having a house in the yard right now. I'm really missing that this week. I think part of it is because I haven't been home in a year and. Yeah, wow. I haven't been in just like a yard, like a house with a yard. I've just been like seeing like weird mysterious puddles of like liquid on the street and like stinky smells of like dog shit and pee and pigeons everywhere. And like, I just, I don't want to be in the city right now. I don't U. so anyways, before we get into that, let's discuss what I've been up to over the past week. So I had a little wine night with my friends last week in Gracia. Ah, we went to La Graciosa. I've had that on my list for a while. And it's just like a cute little wine bar. Like it's very local and it's got like rustic like brick inside. I don't know. but the only thing is this is what's tough for me with a lot of like more authentic Spanish chapas bars is that the wine selection is great. Can always go for a glass of wine, that's fine. But if I'm hungry and I want to eat, which like that day I just happened to not eat much so I was actually really hungry. The only like gluten free or non seafood items I can eat is usually either like patatas bravas jon or queso or like cheese. Like I can only eat smoked haam cheese and like some square potatoes. So yeah, that's all fine but like I get sick of it after a while because I feel like a lot of times when I go out that's like my go to is I'll be like, okay, I'll get patatas brabas again. I love potatoes guys, but sometimes it's like a little boring. And then of course their menu was only like 10 items, like total. So the menu is just really small. And I will say we did get also like we got a ham and cheese plate because that's easy. And then we got this porchetta which was basically like chichrones but like with some meat still on it. That was Good, I guess. And then what else did we get? Like some sort of like cheese, A different type of cheese. But anyways, I also can't eat the bread because at most of these local places they don't have like special dedicated gluten free bread. So then I'm just watching everybody eat their panko to mate and I'm like, oh. Like I think the pankun tote and the ham and cheese would be like more of a fun meal for me. But just eating ham and cheese alone sometimes is kind of like I just feel like I'm like a little mousy. I'm a little mousy eating my cheese and my meat and I'm a little mousy and I'm just eating a little tiny little bites of things. And it's not like an actual meal, but it, it is also fun to go for a glass of wine and just have something like pika pika, al'go parapika. I don't know, like something to snack on. So anyways, it's still a beautiful place. Like I would 100% go back. I got this wine that was called like Fluffy and it was kind of a sweet, like I wouldn't call it Moscato. It was not as sweetest Moscato because I don't get me wrong, I love sweet drinks. But the Fluffy wine was not that sweet. But it was sweeter than a dry wine. And I like it because dry wine leaves my mouth feeling very dry like, like cottonmouth. O so the Fluffy wine was very good. I had like three glasses, so that was good. And then on Friday morning, I filmed a very comprehensive Barcelona niche fragrance shopping guide. So if you guys are interested in that, please check it out. It's on M my channel. It should be the video that's like right before this podcast video. And I just went to every single store in Barcelona that sells niche fragrance except for two. I didn't go. I think there's like Hotel Arts. Oh, there's another perfume store that's cut like the perfumery or something, but you have to like make an appointment to go there. It's a whole thing. And then the Monegal store is over by Turo Park. I didn't get a chance to go over there, but it's Monag Gol fragrances. You can also find them at All Yours, but and for the m most part, all the other stores are very close to each other. So if you've seen the video, you'll see. But just if you haven't seen it. You can go from Elte Ang Glaise to Zerroff to Byredo to the All Yours store. Penalligans Caror, Barcelona, Joe Malone, Rosando Mateu, Perfum, Maria Julia, Diptych, Sana Ualia, Le Labo and Montal, all within like five blocks of each other, more or less. Like, maybe it's a little longer than that, but basically within like the same five block stretch of like, like Ramba Catalun and Pass de Gracia is all the perfume stores, like Consel des SC and like Ramba Catalun con. What street is it? Like, maybe Valencia. That little section has so many perfume stores and the boutiques, like three of them just opened in the last month. So, because I was like, wait a minute, there's a Birredo store here? Since when? And then I was like, wait, there's a Penalligan store here? Since when? And then the Roseanda Mateo store just opened on like June 16th or something. So it's like super recent that these are popping up. So I'm like, what's going on? Like, these are retail spaces on like some of the most desirable streets in Barcelona. Like, how are they just popping in? Like, popping up all of a sudden? Like, I'm like, am I just like living under a rock? Like, I did not even know that these retail spaces were switching over to a new company. Crazy. But yeah, really, really fun. Had a fun time filming that. I just. I don't know why I never discovered fragrance before this year, but I'm obs_ed and then I made a version for TikTok as well. And I edited that on Saturday. It took me like four hours to edit. One ten minute TIK took. Whoo. It was an editing marathon for sure, but it was actually like, I'm proud of it. It's a very helpful video. I'm hoping it will be like. Although they keep like, I could go on a whole tangent about how I feel about TikTok right now, about like the algorithm and everything. Because I feel like, I don't know, let's say in like May and June, everyone was like, you have to post 20 to 30 times a day on tik took to go viral, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was doing really well at posting like four to five times a day for a good month. And I. I didn't see shit. I didn't see shit. I'm still lucky if I get like 40 likes on a video. I'm just like, girl, you know what I feel like Tik Took has finally hit the point where it's oversaturated. Within one second of posting my video, it will be like, here, Click here to boost your video for more views. And I'm like, okay, so we've officially hit the pay per view, you know, era of TikTok. I feel like it's just kind of over. It's. I'm going on a tangent because it's actually really bothering me. And then now, like, in the US it won't even exist as the same app anymore and they're going to change it over to the freaking M M app. And my account is technically a, US app. So hypothetically, by March of next year, when they're going to sunset the US Tik Took app, my account will hypothetically be deleted. And I don't know that I will have an option to switch it over to Spain. Maybe that would be great. But reels has been popping off. I'm like, you know what, TikTok, you've been really annoying me. I will say TikTok is still good as a search engine. So that's my point I wasnna make is that like the video I spent so much time editing. The reason I'm still happy putting it on TikTok is because I don't think that the organic, reach on the for you page is very good anymore. But I think it still serves a purpose for search functions because I think TikTok is still like the next biggest search engine behind Google. So people will still search for things. And my video should hypothetically come up on search and be helpful for people who need that information. So I'm still happy to make it. It will be helpful and very interesting for the people who do need it, even if the target audience is relatively small. But yeah, I'm just kind of annoyed about Tik Tok. And I've been trying trial reels and they've been doing like pretty well. So I'm like, you know what? Maybe I don't need to hold a grudge against Instagram anymore. Cause I've been holding a grudge against Instagram for like seven years. And I just feel like, okay, maybe I need to give Inagram another chance. Like my trial reels have been doing like pretty well. But don't expect it to pop off like in the first six or seven hours. Like, you probably need to give it a full 24 hours before it starts seeing some traction. But then like, I might get like 5,000 views, 10,000 views. Like it's not bad. It's really not bad. So I've been kind of digging the Instagram reels, vibes, and I'm like, at least on Instagram, I don't feel pressured to post like 50 times a week to somehow maintain visibility. Like, that's just not sustainable. I don't care who you are, that's just not sustainable. I feel like what I'm putting out is crap at that point. Like, I want my content to be more curated. So, like, I tried the whole posting five times a day on TikTok thing, but I'm like, maybe I'm just not one of those people that's gonna, like, prepared to do that for like a year straight to make it work. Like, I don't want to have to do that. I feel like we should be able to work a little bit smarter and not so much harder. And I don't know, maybe, maybe if your brand is just like ripping videos off the cuff, like just talking, and I can do that, but that's not really my brand. So it's like, I don't know, when I look back at some of the videos that I just rip off the cuff, which I can do, it doesn't feel like it's really representing what I want to put out that well either. And then when they also flop, because sometimes I'll be like, eh, it's like a lottery ticket, right? Like, you put it out and hope, like, maybe, who knows, it'll get 5 million views. But then is that 5 million views, like, really representing your brand or is it just 5 million views? Because 5 million views, that doesn't really lead to anything. Just doesn't lead to anything. So, I don't know, I'm feeling a bit burnt out with Tik Tok. But anyway, I also. On Saturday, before I edited my Tik Tok video, I went to brunch with my friend Tally and we went to the Kumo. It's a restaurant called Kumo, like K uumo. And coincidentally, it blew up on TikTok a few weeks ago. So it wasn't that shocking that there was a huge line outside. I was kind of expecting that because to be honest, with most popular brunch places here in Barcelona, they don't accept reservations, which in my opinion is super annoying. But for them it's probably better because they don't give a fuck if people wait. So it blew up on TikTok. There's usually a line. You're usually gonna wait in line for, like, at least 20 to 30 minutes. So if you're going to brunch here, just expect that you'll be waiting in line for a good 20 or 30 minutes before walking in. But this place is very unique because I think it's, like, the only place in Barcelona that does these specific super fluffy, super jiggly. They're basically like egg white pancakes. But, oh, my God, that's, like, right up my alley. Like, I don't really love super cakey pancakes, but these pancakes, you guys, were so good. But the kick is, or the catch is that we had to wait in line for an hour and a half, and we didn't know it was going toa be that long. Like, we were only behind maybe, Like, I think the real problem here is they were having some understaff, understaffed vibes, because if we were only behind, like, maybe 15 people. So that was like, there was a big group of girls and then, like, a few groups of two. It shouldn't have been an hour and a half is what I'm saying. It should not have been anywhere near an hour and a half for waiting behind 15 people, because then a huge line developed behind us. I don't even want to know how long they ended up waiting. So it was an hour and a half. We sat down. I will say the service was not that amazing because they were giving very much. They needed at least two more servers and, like, maybe one more cook. Like, they would have been operating, like, really efficiently if they had, like, sorry, there's. The hallways are being vacuumed right now. But they would have been operating, like, just amazingly well if they moved a little faster. Because the problem is, the reason why we were waiting so long is because, guess what? If our experience, seemingly from what I noticed from everyone, was the same. They're seating people and not bringing you a menu right away, not taking your order right away or seeing if you need, you know, help with the menu right away. They're just, like, letting you sit at a table and, like, wait it out even more. And then I was like, okay, well, we want to actually look at the menu so that by the time they do come to us, we can put in the order right away. Because we don't want to keep waiting. We're freaking hungry. It's been an hour and a half. We had to sit for, like, 20 more minutes, even though it tally went up to get us menus. And we started looking like 20 more minutes before we. Because we kept, like, trying not to be rude, but, like, grab their attention, like, hey, you know, whenever you have a sec, we would love to order. We're finally sitting. We would love to order. So it took 20 minutes for them to even come take our order. And I was like, dude, so this is almost two hours in by now and we haven't even put our order in. Like that's kind of crazy. and then even once we put the order in, like the drinks we got were not difficult. It was like a sparkling water, a tea and I got bubble tea. And it took them like 30 minutes to bring the drinks. They did bring the water right away. But the teas, I'm like, you're just pouring like tea pre made tea concentrate, milk and tapioca pearls. Like this is not rocket science. I don't know. The restaurant's not even that big. It has maybe two, four, six, eight, maybe 10 tables of two people. So maybe 20 people could fit on one side and maybe 10 people could fit on the other side because it was like a bar seating. And then there was like one really tiny table for two that we were at by the door. So at most like 30 people can be seated at the at any given time to eat in there. So I'm just not really understanding why it was so slow. Like normally I'm very understanding ofoidaff, but I'm like, guys, as management of the restaurant, if you know that your business has obviously gone viral on social media, like we've got to make some changes, you know, like, I wasn't that mad. I left a four star review. I was like, I would still come back for sure. The food was absolutely phenomenal. But I will just say like, it was not running like a well oiled machine was running like a very clunky, has barely experienced with business before. Like not running very well. Sorry, Kumo, I'll definitely be back. But like, girl, you've got to get a few more people in there because that was just insane. You could have made so many more orders and so many more sales. I'm like on your side here. Like you could have made so many more sales if you were able to. Because guys, their menu is just pancakes, coffee, bubble tea, water, just pancakes. Cough. They're making the same pancake. There's no variation to the pancake recipe. Making the same pancake over, over, over, over, over, over. And then just putting a little bit of drizzle of like fruit or like syrup. Different syrups. Very simple business plan. Or like business, like it's not a hard business. You've just got pancakes, drinks, pancakes, Drinks. So I'm a little. I understand the pancakes might take a while, but like, to not even bring the drinks. After we were out in the sun for an hour and a half, I was like, bro, I just, I'm so thirsty at this point. I could drink a gallon of water. Like, give me my drinks. And then by the time that I ate my pancakes, I had already finished the pancakes by the time they brought the bubble tea. And I was like, honestly, I don't even want the bubble tea anymore. I mean, I drank it because that would have been kind of silly if I rejected it. But I was like, after all this time, like, I kind of want to leave and now the bubble tea sitting in front of me and I'm just like, I guess I'll drink it. Like, it's been 45 minutes since we sat down and the bubble tea just arrived. Like, okay. Anyway, so sorry to complain, but to be honest, I have a big pet peeve with the service in Barcelona in general because I guess, like, it's a cultural thing. I don't know, I'm not, I don't need my service to be like that amazing. But just like, let's run it like a little bit more of a well oiled machine, I guess. I don't know. Like, are you cheaping out because you want to save revenue by not hiring another person? Just hire another person? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, so I don't. Don't' to clarify, it is not the people's working. Like, the people working there is not their fault. Like, I saw them're, they're running, they'they're busy. So I wasn't like angry at the people actually working. I was just like, whoever's operating this restaurant, just hire like two more people. You would probably be fine. You're making auck ton of money off just pancakes. So, like, I think you can afford to hire two more people. Like, it's okay. Anyways, so that was what I was up to. And then I, went to celebrate my friend Yoli's birthday on Sunday night and we went to Libertine. So that was really nice. We just had like an array of tapas. I got a couple margaritas. I should not be drinking this much, honestly. It's been like a weekend of getting together with friends though. And yeah, it was a nice evening. And then I have just. I went to do my leg day yesterday, smashed it. I feel like I slayed it. And here we are, it's Tuesday morning. So let's get into yearning for nature. I like I said, I've been in the city too long. I need to get out of nature. Even though I'm like, last week I was on a hike. The week before I was on a hike. It's like, I've been on a couple hikes, so it's not like I haven't been in nature. But, it's different because even if I go on a hike, it's like I'm still, like, in the city. You know what I mean? I'm kind of more so craving, like, a country house with a yard, country roads, farms, animals. No pigeons, no loud mopeds ripping down my street at 3am going and waking me up. Peace is what I crave. Like, I will literally watch the sound of Music, so I can imagine what it's like to be walking on, like, a beautiful, magical, green rolling hill. Like, I just need that. But, yeah, I don't know, it's just not the same. The forest has javelinas in there. I'm scared of them. I, feel like they're going toa be really big and they're going toa find me. So I don't really feel that relaxed when I'm in the forest, to be honest. I still feel like I have to be on high alert, and I don't want to be on high alert. That's like, what I'm craving nature for is to not be high on high alert. So I've been like, my friend Tally, when we were at brunch, she showed me some of her family pictures of, like, like, in the UK and like, a country road. There's, like, just random sheep. There's random sheep just, like, on the road. And the area where she lives is, like, beautiful. It looks like the Pacific Northwest. It's like, rolling green, lush hills with, like, a few, like, bluffs and lakes and just green meadows. And I'm like, there's just like, these baby doll sheep, like, walking around, and, like, they're so friendly, and there's farms, and it just looks so magical. So ever since she showed me that, I was like, this is what I've been craving. I need to go outside, so. Oh, it just looks like a magical fairy tale. I don't know. So ever since I saw that, I was like, oh, my God, that's what I need. Like, immediately, it, like, awakened something in me that maybe I was pushing down. But I'm like, I need to go spend time with animals. I haven't seen animals in so Long. Well, that's a lie. I see pigeons every day, but that's not the kind of animal I want to be around. I don't like birds. But since I'm going home soon, and it will be the longest I've ever not been at home, like, it. I went home September of last year, and I haven't been home since. I'm going home this September. So it will be a full year since I've been home last. And it was fine because, like, my parents came to visit in April. So it's not like I've gone a year without seeing my parents, but it's gone. It's been a year since I've been home. So I think, you know, a lot of people go a year or longer without being home. But for me, I'm like, really? Maybe this is me starting to, like, lose it a little bit. Like, I've got a twitch in my eye and I'm like, u. I need to see my dog. I need to be, like, in a yard. I think that's bit. I think that's part of it. so I started looking up farms where I can just. I just, like, maybe more of these need to be a thing or. I don't know. I looked up farms where I can just hang out with animals, but I don't want it to be like a petting zoo or like an orchard that just, like, has a donkey in a paddock. I don't want it to be like a regular zoo either, because obviously you can't really pet animals there. Plus, I just feel bad for them. Like, I just want to go to a hobby m. Like, maybe like a hobby farm. I don't want to go to a dairy farm. Gross. Stinky. I want to go to like, a hobby farm where they have maybe, like, 20 cows, a few horses, a few pigs, a few donkeys, a few goats, a few sheep, maybe a llama, some dogs, some cats. And I just need to, like, sit in their presence. I don't even need to pet them necessarily. I just want to be in the country on a hobby farm. Like, just listening to animals and being in their presence and letting them absorb and dissipate all of my negative energy and stress. U. but yeah, like, I just don't know if that really exists. So I did some research. I may have found something. I don't want to spoil it or anything. I'll tell you guys after I go to Minnesota if it was a success. But, yeah, I think, like, my best bet will probably just be finding A farm while I'm home in Minnesota. Because here I just, I just don't think that they do that. Like, I don't think in Spain they really do that. So I think my best bet is going home. Maybe they do that here. But also the language barrier. Like I don't want to have to think I'm going there for peace. I don't want to have to think with my brain or look things up in Spanish and then also hear you usually need a card to go to places like that. So like, it's just, it's too much. I'll wait till I go home. And I just m. I'm not sure if that exists. The best thing I could find on Reddit is if you look up like bovine or equine therapy. But typically that is like, associated with like, I don't know, some sort of like regimented session. And I don't necessarily need a session per se. I just want to like be in their presence, maybe brush them a little bit, feed them a snack. Like I don't, I don't even need to be like all up on them that much. I just want to like pull up a lawn chair and sit next to them. That's all I want. So I also just miss riding horses and I want to go full horse girl, but I can't. And it's like really bothering me because u, like I just wish the horse world, was a little bit more like the US and, and I. Maybe it is. I will have to admit. Like I have a hard time finding information about it here because I guess similar to the US Maybe it's like a horse world thing. Like all over the world. Like the horse world. Like they either they gatekeep information to like keep it just to those like in the know, which I think they tend to do or because girl, these people are not techn technologically savvy for the most part. The amount of websites that I visit for horse clubs, associations, just a random barn. The website is so bad, outdated, bad links, bad user interface, ugly. And it looks like it was made by like a 10 year old in 2007. Like it's just very bad. So I'm like, maybe even if they're trying to share the information, they're not that good at it. Or they might have a Facebook page, but it is so badly updated. Like maybe they post three times a year. Like they're just, they're not most horse people. They're not like also crossing over with the tech people. It's just It's. There are. Of course there are. I would say that I'm one of them. But I don't think in general, like your average, your average barn owner, your average horse trainer, that's like, I'm not talking people that are going to big regional shows, international shows, that's different. Your average local barn trainer and barn owner, they're not tech savvy. So it's like the information is just not there. And I think that's also the case here as well. Like they're just not sharing the information. And if they are, it's like by word of mouth, just with the people that are already in it. So it's like a lot of locals. I doubt that there's people like me that are actually showing up to any events because first of all, that might be kind of weird, low key. Like, not gonna lie, I can understand how that would be weird. But I just, I don't know. In the US it's not that weird just to just like go to a show. Like, I wish I lived in Texas sometimes because I want to go to a rodeo. To go to go to a rodeo or even just, Like a performance horse show in the south is much more common. But in Minnesota, like, yeah, they have that, I guess. But part of that is. Oh my God, I'm going on such a tangent. Like, is this even relevant? I don't know. You guys can skip forward if you don't care. But the horse world in general, I feel like is just like flop Tropica girl. I wish it wasn't. I wish it wasn't. But with the current economic times we're in, nobody has fucking money for a horse, bitch. Nobody even has barely money or time to go to lessons, let alone lase a horse, let alone own a horse and go to shows on top of that. Like, that's a whole extra expense and lifestyle on top of just taking care of a horse and like keeping it alive and happy. Going to shows on top of that is like another whole thing. So like, I was looking up horse shows that I want to go to when I go home in September because I'm like, I just like, again, I'm craving nature, I'm craving animals. I'm so happy when I go to a horse show, just to be in the presence of horses and not even touch one, just to watch them and be in their presence is like enough for me. So I'm like, I just need a hit of that horse girl energy. Give it to me. I need one hit of it. Just please. I feel like I'm like, just please, someone give me a piece of sugar or something. I need some horses. So I found one horse show that will be like, in my hometown. And my mom and I will go, but it's like, that's the only one that's happening in our hometown, like, the entire year. I remember when I was showing when I was like, 14, 15, that the shows would be at that same arena, like, every weekend. And now it's like, you're lucky if you can get one. Like, there's just. I don't think there's even enough people to scrape together to get a full class. Like, it's not very fun to show if there's only you and one other person or, God forbid, just you. but I watch some of the classes online and it's like, it's just sad. Like, I don't. I'm not, like, cringing at the people going. I think it's great. I would also love to go, but I'm just cringing at the industry in. In general, because, like, no one can afford to go. So there's like, no one there. Oh, my God. It's just sad because also nowadays, like, for example, if I was back in Minnesota and I wanted to show to show at any sort of real capacity, you have to travel, like a good 8 to 10 hours by with your trailer every weekend, and no one has time and money to do that, girl. Because the shows are not so much local, they're more regional. So normally in the Midwest, you would have to travel to Wisconsin. Iowa, South Dakota, I would say are the most common ones. So every weekend, unless you're lucky and it happens to be sort of near the Twin Cities, you have to travel like eight hours over to some random property in Wisconsin, or like 10 hours down to some random property in Iowa, or again, like 10 hours to south Dakota. And it's just kind of like, for what? You lose money doing it. You don't make money hors showing you lo you fully lose money. So it's like just a fun hobby with zero rewards other than, I guess, personal joy that you find from the sport. But zero monetary return. Zero monetary return. In fact, it is a loss. Even if you win money. It's. It's always a loss. It's always a loss because the time and money that you invest to even get to the show will always be more than what you get in monetary winnings, if that is even a thing. Because at most shows, they're not giving monetary winnings. You're just there for the shits and gigs and a ribbon. Like. Anyways, sorry if I. If you guys didn't care about a horse girl rant. But anyways, so I just want to go to a horse event here, but there's like none that I could find. If you guys. If someone listening to this knows of horse girl events here, let me know. But the only ones I'm aware of are of course you can go to polo. You can go to maybe like a random dressage event. And then you can also go to the Longines. Longines. Longines, circuit. I think they come here in November and maybe they're here. There's like maybe one other show in like April, but they're only here like twice a year or so. And it's not like it's just very, commercial because of course it's Longines. It's, it's not like a small event. It's a very big event. It's still super fun to watch, don't get me wrong. But it's not like you can't really be anywhere near the horses. You're very much like a spectator in the stanans. So it's. It's just not the same. It's not the same. And then I wanted to talk about zooosis because I feel like all humans have zoolosis to some degree. And I saw a tik tok the other day that was like, if you leave your dog inside all the time and you only take it out for like one minute to pee and you never play with it or you'never take it on walks, then that is animal abuse. So if you're basically doing the same thing to yourself, then you're basically be abusing yourself. And I think it's kind of nice to look at it that way because, like, we always assume, like, oh, we're humans, like, we're not animals, blah, blah, blah, but we are animals at the end of the day. Like, oh, that's so weird to think about. But yeah, we are animals at the end of the day and we still have like basic needs that if we don't meet, they will affect us. Like, I think we try to think that we're above that or we're like evolved past that. But like, the truth is we're not. You need the basics to like sustain a healthy life. So yeah, imagine like, if you didn't give your dog the enrichment it needs, it would be really fucking depressed and it would start developing neurotic tendencies. Like, I think of Horses as well. I think I've talked about this in a past podcast episode, probably a while ago now. But I think about horses all the time. Like if they are in a stall for a long time and each of them have different personalities, some of them like being in a stall more than others, but some of them that are stalled for excessive periods of time, like think about it, it's like keeping your dog in a crate for like excessive periods of time, they might develop like neurotic habits to soothe themselves'basically just self soothing behaviors. So like some horses weave where they literally weave in their stall like this for hours and it becomes such a habit that they sometimes even while they're eating they weave like do mini weaves like while they're eating because it becomes such a habit. And then some horses crib where they like put their teeth on the stall door or on some sort of hard piece of wood or whatever and then they suck in wind and it like gets them like a little bit high and it's a really bad habit. Like once it starts, it's practically impossible to break. So you have to put a collar on them. It looks really tight and mean but it's not. It just prevents them from like sucking wind. And there's other habits of course. Like some horses that just kick their stalls or they get frustrated or they get irritable dogs like some dogs like pace or they develop ocd. Like these are all behaviors that are like self soothing behaviors or some way subconscious way that their brains are trying to cope with something that is not like aligning. And sometimes it could just be a neurological issue. Like of course that's always a possibility, but I would say in majority of cases it's because of their lacking something to give them like the healthy lifestyle that they need to not have the need to self sooth. And then I think to myself and I'm like, holy crap. I've had bouts of like raging OCD raging. I would say I'm very neurotic, honestly. Sometimes like I think my friends would agree, I can tend to be very neurotic and just paranoid and like anxious and those are all essentially self soothing behaviors because of fears, like fears, something subconsciously not being met, I don't know. But yeah, the root of it all is all fears that I'm trying to like control and like manage, maintain some level of control over things that I genuinely can't control. That's why it turns into ocd. You kind of like drive yourself insane like trying to control something that you can't control and that like I feel like I already deal with zooucosis in that way. And then also like I'm just sitting, I'm sitting here at this desk for probably 10 hours every day or more. It's probably not healthy for me. I think sitting is go going toa be one of the most like dangerous activities that we, I mean we already know that that sitting is also very unhealthy for you. Like sitting for long periods of time is very unhealthy for you. I, I constantly feel like I have to fix my posture because I'm sitting here like a shrimp all day. Like I literally feel like that shrimp from Smiling Friends. Like how do I look yellow man? Like I feel like I'm sitting here all day just like ah, doing just every day. I have my work laptop and then I'll whatever O always something to do. So just, just keep in mind like you might be giving yourself zoolucosis and you don't even realize it. But I did want to pull from some actual articles to give you some more like structured information on zuucosis. Cause I do find it's very interesting and I do think that literally like every human has it. so this is from medium.com by K. Revolts. It's called Humans are suffering from zooosis caused by time and captivity. And it says quote, things like chronic stress, anxiety, depression and an overwhelming feeling of being disconnected from the world around us. Many of us are trapped in cages of our own making, which can be true of course, but it's kind of like I kind of disagree with that a little bit because there's necessities in life and you have to do certain things to live and sometimes you can't really avoid it. So I would say sort of it's of your own making, but to a point. To a point. And then it says we're missing out on the soothing and nourishing effects of nature. I highly agree with that. And then it says nature has been patiently waiting for us to remember the magic it holds so true. It goes on to say we've become disconnected from the very thing that nourishes our mind, body and spirit. Nature. By reconnecting with the great outdoors, we can find our way back to a more vibrant and meaningful life. We must seek the serenity of green spaces and embark on a journey that will not only heal us, but preserve the wonders of nature for generations to come. It's time to rediscover our wild side and let nature reclaim its place in our lives. A meaningful shift would look like a nod to prioritize the great outdoors, incorporate it into our daily routines, and make it a part of our collective consciousness. Okay, whatever that means. But I think the point is make more of an effort to include spending time in nature part of your routine and don't feel. Feel like you have to be a workaholic all the time. I think those are kind of the two things that our society really struggles with is like, people feel like they can't rest because then, you know, in direct conflict with that, if they rest, they're no longer being productive. So a lot of people struggle with like, fully turning their brain off, resting, just existing. And people find out, find it hard, especially if you're living in a city or you're just very busy, to get out in nature. Like, that is kind of hard to do. So you can do it though, but it just takes. It takes effort, of course, like anything. But, yeah, I think. I think that's very important. And then the other video I wanted to pull from or the other article I wanted to pull from is from Unimed Living, and it's by. Actually, it was an anonymous article, but it's called zooosis, a very human condition. so this says, quote, examples such as birds pulling out their feathers until they are raw wolves, and big cats circling and pacing their enclosures, nonop bears swaying back and forth or bobbing their heads up and down, and dogs destroying their home environment are all classic signs of distress. What did I just say? Literally, if animals are struggling, we are as well, but we are just more ev. Involved in our brains. So we try to look past it and cover it up and mask it. But, if we were. If we were the animals, we would probably be doing the same thing, like pacing, gnawing on things, gnawing at the bars of your enclosure. then it says, quote, if young children were to bite themselves. Okay, sorry, it's not funny, but it is. If young children. If young children were to bite themselves, oress or another, excessively pull out their hair, constantly, run a track through the house or hide in a corner, rocking back and forth, then we would know something is disturbing the otherwise loving nature of that child. I mean, of course, like, I think we sometimes normalize some of these things, but like, we should not be like, having such neurotic behaviors. Of course, like neurotypical. And I was like, aren't we essentially, like. My question in the middle of reading this article is like, aren't we essentially Experiencing some of these effects through more neurotic behaviors. So it might be more subtle than you literally rocking back and forth in a closet. Because we are evolved mammals, we have the ability to, I don't know, think logistically have, developed emotions, mask, feel shame, feel embarrassment. So, like, we avoid doing maybe something that might feel more instinctual because we overlook it in favor of whatever humans do. So anyways, it continues. Quote. For example, it is normal for people to not drink just one but two or more coffees a day. It is normal to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. It is considered normal to judge, argue, moan, complain, harass, or vilify someone. It is normal for a woman to make scathing comments about the way her body looks. It is normal for a man to act hard and tough, to hurt himself and carry on while surrounded by his mates. It is normal. Or is it normal? Oh, wait, is it the, oh, this last second or, this last sentence goes, is it, Is it normal for people to feel ill? And so all these sentences go, it is. And then this last one goes, is it, Is it normal? Like, are they asking a question? Girl? Sorry, I'm going to read this and let's figure it out together. Is it normal for people to feel ill and still go to work? Is it? I think they, I think they switched it up. I think they switched it up. It's meant to say it is. Sorry guys, I just had to, edit this article for them. It's supposed to say it's normal for people to feel ill and go into work. People do that all the time. It's normal for someone to make a hurtful comment to another and they remain silent rather than calling out the abusive words or tone or apologizing or whatever. So it's essentially just saying, like, we do a lot of behaviors that we might perceive as like, basically normal. But I would venture to say that they're not. Quote. Sure, we can blame our parents, school teachers and ex lover who broke our hearts, the weather for being rainy, and there's no end to the list of pictures we can point our finger at. But what if everything in life was here to teach us about ourselves? What would happen if each aspect of life reflected to us a part of ourselves that was greater than any limitation? And if we stopped pointing the finger and approached life as a mirroring process? What if life is designed to reflect to us what can be learned on the road to evolution as we introduce changes from our quote, unquote normal to that innate higher calling by taking responsibility for our own hand and creating our own cages. Over time, those behaviors are unpicked, and then they fall away as the barriers are no longer imposing upon us, allowing our innate expression to become the four or to come to the fore. But anyways, I think it's just another example of, like, just take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror, metaphorically or literally, and ask yourself, like, maybe what are some things that you do, maybe without even thinking, that are keeping you in this, like, cycle of feeling, I don't know, distressed? Even if it's in a very subtle way. Like, these ways are not always so overt. But I think needing three coffees a day means you're in distress. You know what I mean? I think needeading at least one alcoholic drink a day means you're in distress. Kning cigarettes every day means you're in distress. Also could mean you're an addiction. Like, these things can also cross over. Like, it's not mutually exclusive. But I think it's helpful to, like, look at that and be like, okay, am I really? And it also goes into just general life planning and goal planning. Like, am I unhappy with my life? What can I realistically do to make a change? How am I going to enact that change? How am I going to realistically implement new habits? I mean, this is the same with most things in life, But I think specifically seeing how you can intentionally rest and hopefully include that in an experience in nature would, like, help a lot of people. Like, people need to just be, like, outside and touch. That's why we say touchgrass. You know, people need to touch grass. That's kind of what I have all my be on. Like, me yearning for nature. I still yearn for nature. I don't know when I'll be in it next. I can just see it from. I can't even see it from my window. I can't even see it from my window. I just see buildings and pigeons and cars and trash. Love the city, though. Love the city, though. Love the city, though. But just sometimes I'm. I've been in the city for too long. Okay, I need a break. I also didn't get my beach time this weekend, so maybe that's affecting me because I didn't get to go to the beach. I haven't been to the beach in a few weeks, so maybe that's why need. I need the sea air. I need the sea breeze. But also, the beach is not that relaxing because you're like, okay, I hope no one's gonna pickpocket me. Or try to steal my bag. There's people everywhere. There's seagulls, there's. I don't know, there's noises. Like it's not really actually that relaxing, besides the fact that you're near the water. But anyway, I also wanted to mention this jewelry that I've had just sitting here this whole episode because I'm very excited to wear it. And I wanted to include a link in the description for you guys if you're curious. Because, if you've been, like, very bored with searching for jewelry, I think you will really like this brand. So it's called Justine Clon and it's a French brand. And I actually found them on the site called Essence for their sunglasses because I was like, dude, they have sick ass sunglasses. Because the sunglasses are like more of that, like, member from my last episode, how I was talking about, like, avant garde or like alt baddie. This is very much in that line. So I'm like obsessed, obsessed, obsessed with these pieces and I can't wait to wear them next week in Copenhagen. And what was I saying? Oh, because I wanted pieces that were like, interesting. I found Justine Clonque. I was obsessed with her sunglasses. Her sunglasses have piercings in them. How sick is that? I would love a pair of her sunglasses, but I don't really need more sunglasses right now. What I do need is a different array of jewelry. I've been wearing the same, like, four bracelets, one necklace, and like 10 rings for the last year. So I was like, okay. I needed to switch up my vibe a little bit. I was putting together my outfits for Copenhagen last week and these arrived very quickly. I think I ordered them on Thursday night. They arrived yesterday, which was Monday. So really fast shipping. And for how freaking. I'll include a video because you can't obviously see it that well and if I hold it up, you won't be able to see it. The jewelry is so unique looking and it's not that expensive. Like, I don't know. For me personally, I haven't found jewelry like this anywhere else, at least not at this price point. I'm sure it exists, but not for this price point. I feel this price point is very fair. And when I got it in the mail, I was like a girl. This shit is sick as fuck. I don't know if you can. If I hold it up on my neck. Oh. Oh. It's just like. It's like kind of heavy. Not like ridiculously heavy, but it like, feels luxe and like, the bracelet just feels like buttery. I don't know how that even makes sense because it's metal, but it just feels like. Oh my asmr. It just feels like smooth and buttery. And I got this sick ass ear cuff. Oh my God. And then these earrings which are like, they're like a little out there, but they're not like crazy out there. It's literally just a silver hoop. One of them has like a piercing through it that hangs from these little chains. And then one of them just has a chain and then a longer chain. So they're like a little bit asymmetrical. I don't know. I'm just obsessed. Like, I really resonate with the Justinlnt. I had to look up how to pronounce it. That's. That's the. That's the brand and I highly recommend it. Like, honestly, iconic, unique pieces. It said that they're made in the north of France. Very cool. I am obsessed with her brand so wanted to shout that out because, like, I don't have an affiliate code with them or anything. But my link will be linked to my shop, myi. I don't know that I actually get any commission through shopmyi though for that specific link because I don't think that Justine is affiliated with Shopy. But it will show the traffic I drive, so then I can use that for future discussions. Anyway, so I'm really excited to use these for my outfits for Copenhagen next week. Speaking of, I will have an episode talking all about Copenhagen Fashion Week this year. I'm going by myself. I'm a little nervous, but it will be in two episodes. So the next episode I'm going to film this week and kind of like pre film a little bit just a couple days in advance. And I will have that posted on Wednesday and then in two Wednesdays from now I will have the Copenhagen episode up. So yeah, I'm really excited. I put all my outfits together. I kind of also on Thursday, last minute, ordered two more pieces just to complete because I had like some outfits in mind. But I needed pieces to complete the outfit. So I got. I think I told you guys back in like May or something. No, it was in June when I went to the Meista sample sale here I got a pair of blue boots. I'm going to cry, but my calves are too fat to fit in them still, so I can't wear them yet. But hopefully when I lose more weight, I will be able to fit into the blue boots. Either way, I'm glad I own them because they are iconic and they are well made, so it's not like they're going to disintegrate and be worthless. Like, I'm. I'm very happy that I own them. I think. I trust. I believe I will fit into them one day, but unfortunately not for this fashion week. But I did get a, like, mesh kind of, like, grungy alt dress, but it's mesh and see through. So I was like, oh, f. I'm not, you know, sorry, but I'm not skinny enough to wear just, like, underwear and a bra under it that you can fully see. Like, I would look at my size, I feel it would look really inappropriate to just have. It's just kind of fucked up, right? Like, if you're skinny, you can just wear bran and underwear under a mesh dress, and people are like, ooh, chic. But then if I did, they'd be like, oh, we can see our bran underwear. It's true, though. It just. It just wouldn't hit the same. So what I decided to do is find like, a. Not, a mesh skirt, but, like, I want to call it, like, viscose. A visco skirt that's, like, similar vibes to go under it. But I'm running. My battery is gonna run out. I'll tell you guys about it when I get back. Thank you for listening, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.