EP. 34 Wedding Drama: The chaotic side of "I do"

Wedding day drama is inevitable, but how you handle it makes all the difference. In this candid conversation, host Marco Buenrostro and wedding planner Chantel dive deep into the chaotic moments that unfold behind the scenes at celebrations.

From demanding parents who throw their financial contributions in everyone's face to photographers having meltdowns over vendor meals, these industry pros have seen it all. They share laugh-out-loud stories about guests trying to bribe bartenders for after-hours service, family members demanding chairs that don't exist, and cultural clashes that create unexpected tension.

The conversation takes a thoughtful turn as they explore how different family dynamics—particularly in Mexican families and situations involving divorced parents—can trigger emotional responses over seemingly small details. Marco recounts a situation at his nephew's wedding where cultural misunderstandings with the wedding planner nearly derailed the celebration.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical advice woven throughout. The professionals recommend having proactive conversations with family and wedding party members about expectations, creating clear boundaries, and most importantly—learning to let small dramas slide on your big day. As Chantel wisely notes, "There's a lot of things that we see behind the scenes, drama-wise, that the bride and groom never know about," highlighting how professionals shield couples from unnecessary stress.

Whether you're planning a wedding or just love hearing about social disasters narrowly averted, this episode delivers both entertainment and practical wisdom. Share your own wedding drama stories or questions with us through email or social media—we're always listening and ready to help make your celebration drama-free!

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to the Tipsy Guest Podcast. I am your host, marco Buenrostro, and every week I'm here with the top industry experts, amazing clients and all my vendor BFFs to bring you the best tips, advice and juicy behind-the-scenes stories to make wedding and event planning a breeze. So grab your favorite drink and let's get this party started. Hey guys, welcome back to the Tipsy Guest. I am Marco, your host, and today we are going to be talking about drama. We love drama here at the Tipsy Guest. So we, speaking of drama, we have Chantel elite event planning. Welcome back, chantelle. So happy to be back with you.

Speaker 1 0:48

Oh my gosh, last time we had so much to talk about that, I felt like we needed more time. Yes, and because we both love drama, all about the tea, uh-huh, uh-huh. So today we're going to be discussing just drama in general. At weddings, you know, most of the time it's either a family member or just. You know, even like the bridal party, there's always some sort of drama. And I'm sure I mean, with all the years that you've been in business, I'm sure you have gone through a lot and I'm sure you have some good stories to share with us.

Speaker 2 1:27

I mean, every wedding is different. You know, every family dynamic is different, so there definitely have been a lot of times that drama has played a part. But I mean, what's a wedding without drama?

Speaker 1 1:39

Let's be real, I mean I love it and I feel like you, as the wedding planner, you get to like you get the scoop, the inside scoop, because you work with the couple you work with, you know, with your clients, for I mean weeks, for months, years, I don't know. So I'm sure you get to hear all the good and the bad, and the exciting and the sad, like everything. So I would say, what is one, one story that you can give us? You know that, that it's always going to be there, that you always remember. It could be something dramatic, it could be something sad. You know something that happened at one of your weddings.

Speaker 2 2:16

You know, thinking about it, trying to think about it off the top of my head, is probably really hard. There's so many and I bet after I get off of this episode I'm like, oh, I should have brought up that story.

Speaker 1 2:26

You can always, you know like, send us a story, we'll come back to it.

Speaker 2 2:31

Of course, we can just chime back in on that one, but I'm like going back and trying to think, oh my gosh. I mean a lot of the times there's drama with family members like family members, thinking that they can put their two cents in when they didn't even pay for anything oh my gosh you know um.

Speaker 1 2:52

So it's just I don't know, sometimes I feel. Sometimes I feel like it's not even like dramatic, but sometimes they make it dramatic they make it very dramatic.

Speaker 1 3:04

For example, like I know that, like when, when you know, in the photo booth, you know there's always drama. We always get to hear the drama in the photo with, honestly, because you know we're in the corner, you know we get to see the entire wedding, as you know, the we have a clear view of the bar, we have a clear view of the dance floor, so I feel like we can see everything from the photo booth. And then we hear about it because you know, when people come to the photo booth, as they're waiting there on, you know, to take their picture, they're chit chatting with each other. So we always get to hear everything. You know we've had people crying in the photo booth, we've had people, like, upset at someone, and one thing that I always notice and this is, you know, I'm not throwing shade at anyone in particular, but one thing that we always get in the photo booth is either the father of the bride or the mother of the bride, or the groom, or just, you know, in general, whoever paid for the photo booth, whoever you know ended up helping with the, with the expenses, uh, or the photo, or the wedding in general, they, I feel like they always. You know, once they're a little drunk or, you know, a little happy, they're always like, hey, we're going to skip the line because I'm the one paying for this thing, I pay for this, I pay for you. And to me I feel like one. That is such a horrible thing to say. You know, like why are you throwing it in people's face that you're the one that paid for the wedding?

Speaker 1 4:21

But to me I feel like they say it expecting for us in the photo booth to say like, oh no, you got to go get in line. But of course I'm not going to do that. You know, I'm not going to get in an altercation with, especially the father or the mother of the couple. So I was like, yeah, sure, go ahead, go right ahead. And then I always tell the next person, hey, can we? Just? You know, we're going to let them go through. And to me they always look amazed when I say that I think that they want to. I don't know. I feel like they're expecting for me to fight and be like oh no, you have to get in line. I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to let you go through. Like, if you pay for it. You're already a little bit you know drunk, so I'm not going to be like the one to start a fight or an argument and then potentially ruin a moment you know for my client Definitely Like why make it dramatic?

Speaker 2 5:13

Yeah, we had a wedding. Now that you bring that up, we had a wedding that a mother of the bride did not want to pay for vendor meals.

Speaker 2 5:22

She didn't mind feeding the vendors but, she didn't want to pay for vendor meals. Um, she didn't mind feeding the vendors, but she didn't want to pay for vendor meals through the catering company because they were expensive, which, okay, we get that. Um, but the photographer was very upset about it. The photographer was like, oh no, like I need a hot meal. And I was like, okay, well, suck it up, eat the sandwich. Like, are you hungry or not? You know?

Speaker 2 5:42

yeah he got so upset that he went and he told the mom like hey, you're not feeding me a hot meal. She's like why are you coming to me, like with this, right now, this is the day of the wedding like I'm about to sit down and eat dinner? And he was like that's unacceptable, like that's so rude. And okay, yes, it is, but like bring that up at a later time. This is not a time to cause drama or bring anything up.

Speaker 2 6:05

But we even have instances where there's family members, say, during a seating chart. There's a seating arrangement, there's a certain number of seats per table. I've had a gentleman, a man, come into my proximity, very close, and say I need you to get me another chair. And I'm like listen, sir, there's no more chairs this venue. We have to rent them, we have to bring them in. Each table has a set amount of chairs. For how many people are supposed to be sitting there? And he started yelling at me, pointing his finger in my face. I don't care what you have to do, you better get me a chair. And I mean I just stayed very cool. And who was this person? Who knows?

Speaker 1 6:43

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 6:45

You know, I just stayed cool, calm and collective and I was like, sir, there's no more chairs, like I don't know what to tell you. I walked away and I never, ever heard of it again. Nobody ever came to me. The mother of the bride never came to me and said like hey, we need to get this person another chair, but was it because he brought an, an extra person that was not accounted for? Apparently, he ended up bringing someone. I guess it was a child.

Speaker 2 7:05

First of all, this wedding had no children that was not accounted for and he needed a seat for his child.

Speaker 1 7:10

I was like, well, he can sit on your lap, yeah, and I feel like that's one of the things that it's also like very like a common thing to be dramatic about, because there is an RSVP for a reason Exactly, you know you, you know, like, like you need to you to respect. You know the couple like, hey, if you did an RSVP and then you decide to show up to the wedding last minute or bring somebody with you, then don't be upset when there's not a seat or not a plate. Exactly.

Speaker 2 7:36

And we have to plan for these things.

Speaker 1 7:38

Oh yeah, and then I guess, going back to the photographer, you know, with the vendor meal as a planner, I guess what is? I guess what I mean. I'm sure also like the photographer, if he really wanted a hot meal, I'm sure he listed that in the contract. How is that dynamic?

Speaker 2 7:58

I don't think it was necessarily listed in the contract as a hot meal, but most of your vendors that are staying there the entire time are going to require a vendor meal and it will say it in their contract, so typically you want to get a meal for those. Now, this was a location that they had catering on site, so of course they're hiking up the price to make it, you know, astronomical.

Speaker 2 8:18

You don't have any other choice. You can't go with anyone else. So at that point she said like listen, it's really just out of my budget to pay the extra for the vendor meals, so I am providing you food.

Speaker 1 8:30

Just not catering.

Speaker 2 8:31

Not necessarily, you know, the chicken which I mean, let's be honest, like chicken at every wedding. I don't want it.

Speaker 1 8:38

We eat it all the time.

Speaker 2 8:39

Yeah, I'd rather have pizza, I'd rather have a sandwich or a salad, but there are some times where I feel like family members can be or, you know, the party in general can be a little bit inconsiderate when it comes to that. We did have a wedding where, um, it was at a hotel. The bride said, hey, like I'm not going to pay for the vendor meals, but I am going to order them pizza amazing love pizza. I love pizza I'll take pizza any day over, you know chicken yeah um, so we, we start the day.

Speaker 2 9:10

You know we go up and check in on them as they're getting hairy makeup and they have pizza there they're eating for lunch. I'm like, oh awesome, she's just gonna reorder later. Um so, fast forward to when reception starts, dinner starting. I asked her. I said I said hey, when, where's the pizza being delivered to? And she's like, oh, it's the pizza that's left over in the bridal suite oh no, I was like got it.

Speaker 2 9:33

Okay, so, and and I get it, you know there's a lot of things going on in their heads, but and they they may have not thought like, hey, this is not right. Um, good thing, we were at a hotel. Myself and my assistant were like, hey, let's go to the restaurant real quick and just get a burger. You know, it wasn't a big deal, but there are some, some vendors that will make a big deal about it.

Speaker 1 9:50

Yeah, I mean because, for example, I I feel like you know, videographer, planners, the photographer, you guys are there all day. You know all day, for example, with me. It doesn't really apply to whenever you know, whenever you guys ask me about vendor meals, I normally say no, thank you, like we're okay, because we're not there for a long time. You know when we show up, you know we do our setups earlier in the day. Then you know, my photo booth attendant will show up later when it's time to open the photo booth. So we're there three, four hours.

Speaker 1 10:17

I don't think that's bad. I mean we can eat before, we can eat right after. So I don't think that really applies for us photo booth vendors. But I mean, when it comes to a photographer or videographer and planners, you guys are there all day. I mean you need to eat, I mean it's, but I guess, like you said, you know, sometimes you know the budget doesn't allow it or whatever. But I do feel like I guess and this is a pro tip, this is a tipsy tip of the day For our listeners out there please be considerate with your vendors. I mean we, we are there, you know, to give you a fabulous experience, but also make it easy for us. We wanna make sure that everybody has a good time, that everybody has a great experience. Vendors, party couple, like everyone, right.

Speaker 2 11:05

Right, yeah, definitely, and if it's something that hey, it's not in the budget, just let your vendors know ahead of time so they can plan, so they can bring an extra meal to have for dinner or bring. You know, I'm only providing the sandwiches. You might want to bring some chips, you might want to bring something to drink. Just let them know in advance so that way they can you can avoid, you know, some someone blowing up and not being happy with it. Of course we're planners like we're just gonna suck it up, like we're there to make the couple happy.

Speaker 2 11:30

It doesn't matter. We'll go get something, we'll send someone. If catering has something left, we'll eat that. You know it's not that big of a deal, but there are a lot of people that will that are very picky, yeah picky, but it's like come on, get over it. You're here for another five hours.

Speaker 2 11:43

It's not a big deal yeah um, but also when it comes to drama, I feel like a lot of families that have, like, step parents or there's different, they've been divorced and they're all kind of remarried. You know, actually this past weekend we had one where the groom's family was. They were divorced and they were remarried and one of the aunts from the mother's side was very upset about the fact that in one of the photos the mother of the groom was placed in the back.

Speaker 1 12:19

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2 12:20

And I can see you know where that would be wrong. Yes, but the way she was saying things like and she said it in Spanish you know like, oh, you know like, okay, calm down.

Speaker 1 12:34

Like making those little Mexican comments that we make all the time. We love drama.

Speaker 2 12:39

The thing is that this was a set list that the wedding you know bride and groom gave to the photographer. Like, hey, this is the list I want to go off of. I want to list a photo with all of my parents, and then they all each still got their individual photos. So I just thought it was kind of, you know, wrong and rude of her to say something like that, and I feel like they don't think of the big picture.

Speaker 1 13:02

You know, like they make the comments, not thinking that, hey, you know, this could potentially go wrong. You know, because what if the other person hears? What if the couple hears Like, what if you know, something like that happens.

Speaker 2 13:13

You know, yeah, and she distinctly said it like under her breath and kind of like in my ear, and I'm like, listen, there's nothing I can do about it. It's based off of the photo list. We're going off of what the bride and groom want.

Speaker 1 13:27

They will each all get their own individual photos.

Speaker 1 13:28

You know, it's so a while, I mean, there's just so much drama. We have a perfect example. So my nephew got married in um what was it, I don't know like maybe a year ago, and the wedding was in georgia. So, you know, I went to the wedding, of course, and I'm there and I mean, you know, my, my whole family is mexican, you know. So they, their wedding planner was um, was not mexican, so I'm not even gonna say, but she was not mexican, yeah, so you know, of course, the wedding, you know, uh, there's all this mexican people there.

Speaker 1 13:59

And then I get, I, all of a sudden I see my sister, all upset, and she's talking to somebody. And then I go up to her and I'm like, what happened? And she's like, oh my god, I want to cry and I'm so upset, and blah, blah. I was like, well, tell me what happened. And she's like, well, oh my God, I want to cry and I'm so upset. And I was like, well, tell me what happened. And she's like, well, somebody just came and told me that the wedding planner was talking to the bartenders and that she made a comment. I can't remember exactly what the comment was. But she made a comment saying something about like, don't worry about it, it's a bunch of Mexicans in this wedding, or something like that. So I was like are you sure? She said that? You know, I want you to tell me who told you, so that I can go talk to that person, so that I can bring it up to the planner's attention, just in case that it's needed, so you know. Then she told me who was the one that overheard them, and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 14:49

So I go up to the wedding planner and I'm like hey, I'm like hey, I just, you know, wanted to bring something up to you. This is what I was told. I was like is there a problem? I'm like you knew this wedding was going to be full of Mexicans. I mean, we're all Mexican, is there a problem? And she was all. I mean she got nervous and then she got got defensive and then she was like no, no, no. Like she was like no, no, no. She was like I was telling the bartenders because one of the signature drinks was a Mexican margarita. So that's when I used the word Mexican, you know, like I didn't say it in a bad way. Or blah, blah, blah, yeah.

Speaker 1 15:22

So I was like okay, I was like, you know, of course I wasn't fighting with her or being dramatic with her, but I just wanted to ask her, you know, because I mean, you never know, there's always two sides to a story, right? Who knows if the other person didn't really hear it, right, maybe she did say it, who knows. But you know, I thought that was really interesting. Yeah, you know, because she, you know, well, I mean, there was drama, who knows if it really happened or not? But that was the drama. So.

Speaker 1 15:44

So after that, she changed her attitude completely. I mean, because we were dealing already with her from the night before for the rehearsal, that she was also being a little too she, I guess she didn't want anybody to do things. She wanted to do everything, which is understandable because she's a planner. But I mean, you know, us mexicans, I mean my mom wanted to help with everything, my sister wanted to help with everything, and I was like no, I was like chill, like relax. We hire a wedding planner for a reason. She's gonna take care of everything. But you hear, my mom and my sister were all upset, like well, she's telling us not to help, and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, because that's her job, I'm like, don't take it the wrong way, it is her job.

Speaker 2 16:19

You know she's getting paid Exactly.

Speaker 1 16:22

But I mean, again, you know, us Mexicans, we and my sister, they wanted to do things. I'm like just this is our day, let's relax, let's just enjoy the wedding. Yeah, so that was my little drama at my wedding, at my nephew's wedding, but I mean, the wedding was incredible, it was so good. But yeah, that was the drama with the wedding planner.

Speaker 2 16:42

Yeah, and I feel like when it comes to, we're both Mexican here, so no hate to our, of course, of course, our family everywhere literally um. But you know, sometimes they they want to party all night long. And there's the venues that have certain restrictions for like a five-hour bar time and once the bar starts to get closed, they're all mad. They're like, well, why are you closing? Like some people will start like throwing money at bartenders, like like saying like here, just open the bar.

Speaker 2 17:11

It doesn't work like that like as if, like oh you know, you're just working for me.

Speaker 1 17:15

Like just do it, don't do that, people please don't.

Speaker 2 17:18

Yeah, it really doesn't. Everything is planned ahead of time for a reason, so when the bar is set to close, it closes.

Speaker 2 17:26

Another thing with our our people is they love shots oh my goodness, and we get it, because in Mexico everyone kind of just like sips tequila or they sip scotch or whatever it might be. But when it comes to bars here in Texas, or wedding bars in specific, because of TABC rules shots are not allowed. Everything has to be mixed, Everything has to be on ice. You know, with a splash of something, and they get very upset. They're like well, what do you mean? We can't do that, what?

Speaker 1 17:51

kind of wedding is this? What kind of wedding?

Speaker 2 17:53

Yeah, like okay, wait, first of all, this is an open bar, why are you complaining? And yeah, they get. They start getting very upset and the bartenders you know have to tell them like hey, listen, it's a venue rule, it's not our rule, and for the whole night they are like rude and I feel like it's always like the closest family right yeah I feel comfortable that they're like hey, this is my sister's wedding, or this is my, whatever, or like you were saying, it could be.

Speaker 2 18:18

Even the father is right. Well, I paid for this how could I not get a shot? You know? And? And they just need to understand like, hey, listen, your daughter or your son, whoever it is, that's getting married. They signed a contract that says no shots, you know, or no non-mixed drinks, like everything has to be mixed. We're doing it for your safety yeah, and that's that's the main thing, but I mean yeah, there's always so much drama.

Speaker 1 18:38

I love it. Have you ever had drama within like the actual, like bridal party, like I don't know, like like just crazy drama?

Speaker 2 18:46

um, yes and no. I feel like sometimes there's some bridesmaids that don't like each other, or like there's a groomsman that kind of will like disappear like a best man or something like that. But we've never actually had like drama, drama with wedding party. I think it's so funny. One of our assistants, one of my assistants, gets hit on by the groomsman all the time of course, and they're always like trying to pick her up and trying to dance with her.

Speaker 2 19:12

That's funny and we just make fun of it all the time because it's like, okay, who's it gonna be this?

Speaker 1 19:16

time it's, it's, it always happens. I, I feel like us you know, with the photo booth as well like when people come to the photo booth, like they always get, so like touchy and feely and like you know, and we're like hey, yeah, like six feet apart, let's pretend it's covid like six feet apart. Let's pretend it's COVID time, six feet apart. Please Keep your distance.

Speaker 2 19:34

I don't know you like that yeah.

Speaker 1 19:36

Yeah, I mean it's all fun, but yes, I mean, things can get a little dramatic sometimes. But I would say, I guess what would be your advice, you know, for our couples? I mean, is it okay for our couples, you know, to have that talk, let's say, for example, with their, their family members, with their bridal party? Just you know, of course, before that we're not on wedding date, of course, but like before is I mean, is that, is that a thing? Is that okay to just give them like hey, rules, like don't do this, don't do that?

Speaker 2 20:03

yeah, you know, and there are some brides that I've had which I love this. They're like a type a bride, they're a teacher and they'll send out like a list like, hey, these are do's and don'ts of the wedding day. Some people will be like do not have more than two beers prior to the ceremony, which is great, because there are some people that will get intoxicated before the wedding, sometimes the bride and the groom but that's another story for another oh my goodness, yes, I've had those, I've had those.

Speaker 2 20:25

So, yeah, it's just have that conversation with your you know, with your wedding party, your family, and say, listen, this is not necessarily what we expect of you, but we just want our wedding to go off without a hitch. We don't want to have any drama, we don't want to have any issues. We've hired professionals. If they say that this is a rule, follow that rule. Send them the timeline in advance. Let them know this is when the bar opens, this is when the bar closes, and that's it. Let them know this is when the bar opens, this is when the bar closes, and that's it. There's no last call, there's nothing. So prepare yourself for those things. And then another thing for the couple on wedding day. You know there's a lot of things that we see behind the scenes, drama wise, that the bride and groom never, ever know about, unless, for some reason, the family ends up telling them, you know, later on down the road. But if, for some reason, there is something that does come up that is drama related that day, don't make it a big deal.

Speaker 1 21:14

Enjoy your day and then just bring it up later.

Speaker 2 21:16

Just fluff it off you know, some people are always like um, you know well, I'm having a no kid wedding and I'm really, really scared that these people are going to bring their kids. And I'm like listen, if they do bring their kids, we will figure something out, but don't, don't make it a big deal.

Speaker 2 21:30

You know, if you see them, don't be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe they brought their kids. Just look over, smile and continue with your day. You know it's, it's nothing to be. You know calling security about, um, so just just enjoy and we will take care of whatever drama we need to. We don't mind being the bad guy if we have to, if we need to kick someone out, we will, but hopefully it doesn't get to that point. But just you know, if there is some unforeseen drama that you might think might might come up, let your planner know ahead of time. Like, hey, these two people really need to be on opposite sides of the room. They can't interact with each other very well. Um, or whatever it might be, just let your planner know ahead of time. So it's something that they look out for, love.

Speaker 1 22:08

Love it, love it, love it. All right, guys. Well, that is it for the drama today. Thank you so much, antel, for being here. I am so like, it's so cool to always like talk to you and we can just keep going and going and going, but we are running out of time. So, just to our listeners out there if you have any questions, if you have any topics you want us to discuss, if you have any favorite vendors that you want us to have here at the Tipsy Guest, just send us an email, send us a DM on social media. We are always listening to you all. We want to make sure that we give you the content you want, right.

Speaker 2 22:43

Yes, give us all the likes so we can come back. We love being here, of course, all right, guys.

Speaker 1 22:47

This is it for today. We'll catch you next week, cheers, bye. Thanks for listening to the Tipsy Guest Podcast. If you know someone who could benefit from these tips, spread the love and share it with them. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. Next round's on us, same time, same place, cheers. This podcast is brought to you by MVP Photobooth. No-transcript.