Dear People All Black Women Are Not Angry: The Truth About Leadership

Unpacking Stereotypes: Changing the Narrative for Black Women in Leadership

In this episode of Leadership N-Sight, we dive into the damaging stereotype that labels black women as 'angry,' and how it impacts their leadership roles. Join us as we explore the differences between assertiveness and anger, passion and anger, and the critical importance of diversity and inclusion in the workplace. Learn how to lead with curiosity, challenge biases, and create a fair and inclusive environment where all women can thrive. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments.

00:00 Introduction: Debunking the Angry Black Woman Myth

00:27 Personal Connection and Misconceptions

01:55 Exploring Misconceptions in Leadership

02:44 Confronting Biases and Leading with Curiosity

04:52 Story of Denise: The Impact of Stereotypes

07:19 Assertiveness vs. Anger in Leadership

14:44 Passion vs. Anger: Recognizing the Difference

17:42 Diversity and Inclusion: Embrace, Don't Judge

23:27 Summary and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Hello  everybody, welcome to Leadership N-Sight, where today it's all about, , dear people,  all black women are not angry. The truth about leadership. Come on in everybody. This topic is a near and dear to my heart.

One, being an African American woman, two, being in this field for so long and seeing how some African American women are labeled as angry black women. And a lot of the time, it's just because it's a misconception. Black women sometimes are misunderstood. You may take it. their passion and mistake that for anger.

African American women, are tired of their voice not being heard. 

And at this point, I want to say,  I am sure not just African American women, women,  Feel like this  more times than not and so all of us Will feel this in some form but today we're going to speak about the black woman I am so thrilled to be here.    📍  📍  📍  📍 Do not forget to  like, and subscribe from whatever platform you're watching us on.  We thoroughly appreciate your support. 

And if this is resonating with you, please drop it in the comments. Let us know. Let us know exactly what's resonating. 

 Back to what we're discussing today, we're going to explore the misconception surrounding black women in leadership roles, particularly with the stereotype of being labeled angry. We will Uncover the truth and empower all women to lead with confidence and authenticity. Our three points today is going to be  assertiveness versus anger, passion  versus anger.

and diversity and inclusion embrace, don't judge. Throughout, I am probably going to say things like, please, let's start leading with more curiosity and I'll be doing a Leadership N-Sight about that in the near, dear future, but we need to, not just in our leadership capacity, but we need to lead with curiosity when we're talking to our children, when we're talking to our spouse, family, friends, strangers, I implore  you to lead with curiosity.

We. We all have biases and we do and instead of running from them, I am going to ask you to confront them. I confront mine all the time, whether I want to or not,  because we have them, we have them. And so instead of running from them, I need you, I need you leader. That's right. I need you leader to even confront your own biases.

own biases, because that is how we're going to be able to change. And I want us to all take our little parts. And that's right. Take your part, your part, wherever that is in the world, your part within your home, your part within your organization, whether it's. work, whether you're at church, whether you're coaching little league, or maybe you're on an adult tennis team , or pickleball, should I say pickleball in the house for those who play pickleball, wherever you are, you have the ability, you do.

to change the environment. And so I implore you and especially with today's session, let's get out there and let's start changing the world. Now I'm going to start with this story.  Because this, topic is so important, I want you to think about this African American woman, and we're going to name her Denise.

So think about Denise, this successful black woman who has worked hard, she's been smart, she's been able to move up in her career. However,  despite her success, she She often faces a stereotype, whether she's assertive,  because she can be, you know, with her skin color, sometimes that comes out a little different, or whether she's passionate.

She was deemed angry. And this label hurts.  It doesn't just hurt her personally, it hurts her authority,  it can break down her self esteem, and it can corrode  professional relationships. And so in leadership, we talk a lot about diversity, inclusion, psychological safety, diversity, diverse teams. Come up with more creative ideals.

They are more productive. This is stats people. It's not me saying yes, diverse teams just create more ideals. They do.  Inclusion. Make sure everyone gets to speak and psychological safety. Let's people share their true thoughts with Out fear of negative consequences and Denise's story shows how stereotypes can destroy again, it can really destroy  self esteem.

It destroys psychological safety, which stops diverse leaders from reaching their full potential. Now let's go ahead and break down the key areas where stereotypes impact leadership and how we can address them. Our first point is going to be, let's discuss assertiveness versus anger.

Being assertive is an important leadership skill that helps create this positive, and productive  workplace. It means you're able to stand up for yourself and for others making decisions confidently and being able to communicate them well with your team. But it's also important to know that being assertive is not the same thing as being angry. And I am sure, and please, when you're listening to this, whether you're catching it live or catching it on the replay, please shout it out and let me know if this is how you feel. Because when we're talking about even assertiveness, I could do a whole topic on women leaders being assertive. Forget about being black and assertive but just women being assertive even that sometimes can come across as you're being mean you are not nice  or people will throw so many different words around and yet our male counterparts we can literally say the same exact thing place the same emphasis and people Unfortunately, we'll accept assertiveness coming out of a male counterpart better than it coming out from a female counterpart because, and this is where I need you all to really check your biases, because it's coming from a woman. 

So make sure that you check your biases. Because when we're speaking about the black woman,  whew, even her assertiveness sometimes is seen. 

Unlike  other counterparts, unlike other females, her assertiveness can even seem angry. Even though we're talking about assertiveness versus anger, I need you to even understand when it comes out of a black woman's mouth. There are times because of stereotypes and listen, let's just be honest.

When it comes to movies, you have been, we've been ingrained. We have been ingrained and we are taught that  this is what this means. I need you to unlearn some things. I need you to lead  with curiosity. So when that black woman is saying something to you and you Maybe it's ringing on a different register, maybe not in that moment, but later, I implore you to go back to that woman, to that leader, and ask, what did you mean when you said this, that   That is a simple question that you can ask to be able to get more understanding, to be able to understand where she's coming from.

Everything that you see is not what you think it is. We are taught, yes, to lead with our gut and our intuition. And I'm not telling you to chuck your gut or your intuition, because trust me, if you It is needed. But what I am also telling you as a coach, everything that you think you see does not mean what you think it means.

And that is why you have to become more curious and all settings. So sadly, assertive black women are often unfairly labeled as angry because of societal biases and stereotypes. And I'm telling you, I know that some of you are sitting here looking at me and you're saying, listen, SparkleJoy Coach Miranda.

That is not the society I'm living in today. Well, I am here to tell you that even in 2024, I see it. Even in the workplace, I see it, where I have to explain that this Black young woman is not angry, that this Black woman feels this. When she said this, yes, there are times I feel like I am a Black interpreter. 

I didn't put that on my resume. Maybe I should. Sometimes I feel like I am a woman interpreter. So listen to me. I know some of you think that this isn't happening today and I am telling you, it is check your stereotypes, check your biases and stereotypes, and lead with more curiosity.

This is due to deep rooted prejudices, and I know we don't want to hear it. I know that we think that, oh, we have evolved. My, my, my, one of my  best friends are black, and that could very well be true. Please don't say that statement though, y'all. I'm, I'm just. Just don't say that statement. Even if your best friend is black don't lead with that statement because that throws off black people because we, we automatically think something totally different.

 That was a freebie. That was free. All right.  I know that you think that hey, we've overcome. I'm not prejudice. I love all people and I'm not saying that you are. I am saying that there are times that you still, you who think you are not prejudice, need to check  your biases and check your stereotypes.

I do it all the time. Why are you feeling this way Miranda? Is this actually true?  Think these things through take your emotional stance out. And yes, these are conversations that I have with myself but moving on  Assertiveness is about being clear confident and having a strong presence while 

Anger is that emotional reaction driven by personal feelings. Understanding the difference between assertive and angry is one of those key factors in making sure that we all are building Fair and inclusive. I'm gonna say work environments, but I mean environments. We all have a responsibility to make sure all of our environments are fair and inclusive.

And by recognizing and valuing the leadership qualities of black women without bias can create a culture that It respects those diverse leadership styles and offers  equal opportunities for everyone. Our second point, passion versus anger. Understanding the difference between being assertive and being angry is important for creating a fair and welcoming environment.

But it's also crucial to recognize and realize that passion is often mistaken for anger. Somebody could be watching me right now and you could be thinking, Miranda, you're coming off a little bit angry. And this will be a very prime example of  Stereotypes, biases, and learning the difference between when a woman, I'm talking about black women, but all women can have passion. 

So but when a woman is passionate versus angry, because I am not angry, however,  stereotypes and biases will make you think what you currently may be seeing is anger. When it really isn't. We should celebrate assertive and passionate leadership instead of seeing it as negativity. Passion drives determination and leads to new ideals.

When Black women leaders show passion for their ideal and they support their teams, it's not Anger, but it's a strong commitment. Companies need to appreciate and value this passion, recognizing it as a strength that makes the workplace better and more dynamic. Who wants to come into a workplace that looks perfectly the same each and every day?

 Embrace all of us and yes, I do believe That we are more alike than we are different, but I also recognize that our differences is what adds to the gumbo.

Our differences is what adds to the spice of a life and then learning about all of these  differences just makes you you create within yourself just becoming a better person. And  by recognizing the leadership qualities of black women without this bias will help to create cultures that value different leadership styles and promotes

equal opportunities for everyone. This inclusive approach benefits not only employees, but it also improves the overall organization. Our third point, diversity and inclusion. You all  Embrace. Don't Judge. Lean in with curiosity. And as a matter of fact, if you're curious, ask questions here because guess what?

You are interacting with me. You are interacting with my team. You are in a safe space to questions  now.  Whether you're catching this live or the replay, this is a great space. Be respectful at all times, of course, but this is a great space to ask. When I see this, what do you think it could be?

When I experience this, This is a great and you may not ever get an opportunity where you have someone that's saying Come on, ask me whatever questions that that you're afraid to ask maybe Your co worker or you're afraid to ask someone in the workplace or you're afraid to ask a female Black leader and so I open this for you to be asked able to ask the questions again.

Let's all be respectful in our asking, but let's have the conversation. I do believe that without conversation, change is,  almost How's it going to happen if we don't have the conversation? So let's have that conversation. Diversity is a more than just having different people around. It's also about making sure everyone feels valued and respected.

Stereotypes and biases against black women get in the way of this goal. And so to truly embrace diversity, we need to stop judging based on these antiquated old stereotypes 

listen, all Black people don't get  Aren't the first ones to leave a movie all white people don't trip while they're running. Okay Those are stereotypes But I bet you when you're watching a movie you're looking for a white woman to get tripped or you're looking for that black person to die the first in the movie.

And it's a stereotype. But as you see over the years, what's happening, you see less tripping, you see less black people dying first in the movies. And so you need to challenge what you're seeing challenge it people lead with curiosity. Why Are they dying first? Lead with curiosity. Why are they tripping? Lead with curiosity. Stop accepting everything that people throw at you as fact. Okay? Let's stop. Let's lead with more curiosity. We need to get rid of all of these old biases and welcome.

I want you to welcome all women in leadership. I also want you to welcome black women in leadership roles with open minds. I am speaking about Black women, but guess what I can throw in there? I could throw in  Latino women. I could throw in Native American women. I could throw in the LGBTQIA. 

A women, I could throw in so many different women in this genre where this is going to fit. So yes, I am speaking about black women, but we could throw a whole lot of different types of women in here and it would still stand the same. Let go of all of these old  biases and welcome women in leadership roles with open minds.

Instead of seeing a black woman's passion and assertiveness as anger, we should  See it as a valuable strength. Organizations should work to create cultures where the leadership styles and contributions of all women, but we're talking about black women are recognized and appreciated without bias by embracing their unique viewpoints and methods.

We create an environment that values diversity and promotes equal opportunities for all. All people  this inclusive attitude that only helps grow individuals, but also it's going to make organizations strong. And if you take this through out, if you take this back home, if you take this, to the organizations that you spend your time in, again, doesn't even have to be work organizations.

If you were to take this back into your community and start leading with it, we will all be able to see more change quickly    📍  📍  📍  📍 don't forget to like and subscribe wherever you're watching us from.  Your support means the world, not just to me, but also to my team. In summary, today we focus on breaking down that harmful stereotype that all black women are inherently angry. We know this is not the case. We explored the differences between assertiveness and anger, passion and anger, and the importance of embracing diversity and inclusion. Understanding these distinctions is so crucial for creating an environment for all leaders, an environment where all leaders can thrive without

fear of being misunderstood or  unfairly judged.  I see too many black women  being stereotyped.  No, I'm not one of them, but you don't know what I had to get to, to get to this point.  I don't want people to have to go through what I had to get to, to get to this point.  There are too many black women out here being categorized as Angry black women when they're really just misunderstood and some of you may say, well, they just need to get with society. 

How about society?  Learn to start leading with more curiosity. Stop making people into cookie cutter. We're not made  cookie cutter. We all have flair, life. We all have unique  abilities, unique voices. Don't stifle her voice.  I always like to end with a quote,  You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

This quote underscores the importance of resilience and self empowerment. Because at the end of the day,  We are All must overcome something, some bias, some stereotype, and still lead with confidence and authenticity. Remember, leadership is about influence. Authenticity and creating a space where everyone can contribute their best by challenging stereotypes and promoting inclusivity.

We paved the way for more effective and diverse leadership. Thank you for joining the session today. Let's continue to lead with curiosity. Lead with understanding, compassion, and strength. Join me next week for more incredible insights. You deserve nothing but the best. It's my goal to ensure that you move to your next level.

Let's take your career to new heights together.  📍 Lead with curiosity.