Anxiety In Children, Part 2 of 2

In this insightful episode, clinical social workers Kristina and Heather continue their deep-dive into the crucial topic of managing anxiety in children. With 30% of children experiencing an anxiety disorder by age 18—yet only 20% receiving treatment—Kristina and Heather discuss effective strategies to help kids cope. From cognitive behavioral therapy and medications to simple but powerful tools like sensory play and outdoor activities, they offer practical advice for parents. The episode encourages modeling healthy coping techniques, validating children's fears, and seeking professional support when necessary. Learn how setting realistic expectations, desensitizing fears, and using techniques like visualization and role-playing can empower your child to manage anxiety. Plus, discover how outdoor activities and the healing power of nature can boost your child's emotional well-being. Don't miss these expert insights to help us all navigate the challenges of anxiety.

Gear Up! Adventures In Parenthood is recorded and edited by Dave Purnell and produced by Jen Plante Johnson for the ODC Network in Holland, Michigan.

The ODC Network is a non-profit organization that strives to advance outdoor education and conservation in West Michigan. 

Since 2000, The ODC Network has served over a million people through hands-on, outdoor learning experiences and conserved thousands of acres of native habitat through restoration and preservation projects.

The ODC Network’s vision is building a better community by connecting people, land and nature. To learn more and get involved go to: www.odcnetwork.org.

Transcript

Kristina  00:00

In today's episode, we're continuing our conversation about anxiety in children. If you haven't had the chance to listen to the first part of the series, we've covered things like how anxiety doesn't always look like we expect it to. 

Heather  00:14

That's right. Anxiety in children shows up internally through things like trouble sleeping, stomach aches and avoiding certain situations. These signs can be hard to notice, especially since children are still learning how to express their feelings.

Kristina  00:29

We shared some statistics showing that by age 18, about 30% of children will experience an anxiety disorder. But sadly, 80% of them won't get the treatment they need. So it's all the more important for parents and caregivers to recognize the signs and have strategies to support our kiddos.

Heather  00:48

The good news is there are ways to manage anxiety effectively, and you can review what we talked about in our previous episode- things like cognitive behavioral therapy, medications when needed, and also some simple yet powerful strategies like sensory play, outdoor activities and managing anxiety by connecting with nature. These tools can make a huge difference in helping kids feel calm and build resilience.

Kristina  01:14

Today, we'll continue our discussion about how we as parents play such a huge role in the process of supporting children when they feel anxious. By modeling healthy coping strategies ourselves, we can show our children how to handle anxiety in a balanced, calm way. 

Heather  01:32

And sometimes seeking professional support can be just as important too. And we want to emphasize that there's no shame in getting help. We're so glad you're joining us today. Let's keep the conversation going so we can all be better prepared to support children dealing with anxiety. Welcome to Gear Up! Adventures In Parenthood.

Kristina

A podcast where we explore the struggles and challenges we all face as parents. We'll share ideas and offer tips and strategies for raising happy, healthy children. My name's Kristina Boersma

Heather

And I'm Heather Bouwman. Kristina and I are clinical social workers who've been working with families and children for a good long minute. We're Support Service Directors for the Early Childhood Network of ODC Network in Holland, Michigan. And we get to support parents and children as they navigate the tricky terrain of raising children and growing up in today's world.

Kristina

We're here to help unpack the hard stuff and connect with the joy of parenting. 

Heather

Are you ready? 

Kristina and Heather

Let's hit the trails.

Heather  

This project is made possible by the ODC Network, an amazing nonprofit organization based in Holland, Michigan, where we get to work supporting preschool aged students, their teachers and their parents.

Kristina  

The ODC Network is all about nurturing the community and the next generation through a wide variety of innovative nature-based initiatives.

Heather  

Please visit www. ODCNetwork.org to learn more about the ODC Network's mission and impact. The thing that trips us up so frequently as parents is that when we see our child in those moments of great anxiousness, worry, we can get our own hearts tied up in that and just want to clear the path and eliminate all of it. And I will so frequently say to parents, we as parents have to believe in our kids, and they have to believe themselves, in our belief in them, because that's tremendously empowering to them. And if we inadvertently communicate that we don't think that they can do it, that they aren't strong enough to do it, that they won't be able to do it. Once we walk away, I'm thinking about school drop off right where the kids will pull it, and just I don't want to go to school, and we know they can do it, because once that parent's out, the child is fine. And parents can get tied up in that and think, Oh, I'm just so I just don't want them to be sad. I just want them to be happy. And I have had to say to so many parents, that's not real life. Yes, there will always be hard. Yep, there will always be sad in life. One thing is certain, it won't always be happy. Yep, it can't be Yeah.

Kristina  04:50

What you're saying Heather is oh so good. It's setting realistic expectations. You cannot promise them that they're going to. Fun at the skating party. You cannot tell them and promise them that they will not fail the test. We can't promise things are always going to be sunshine roses.

Heather  05:10

You cannot tell them that they will always be accepted into their friend group, and they will never be the one on the outs. Those things come and unfortunately, that's often normal development.

Kristina  05:24

So the important part, which you were saying earlier is we need to let our children know that we believe they can face those fears, and when they do the thing we can promise them is that the level of that anxiety will drop when they face the thing that is causing the anxiety. This gives them confidence, right? Your expectations are realistic, and you're not going to ask them to do something that they aren't able to handle.

Heather  05:56

Absolutely. And we're going to believe in them wholeheartedly and communicate that to them so that they can stand taller, they can keep their chin up, they can have clear eyes and full hearts because they know we believe in them. Do you think Kristina that there are kind of two parenting polls where maybe it's the tough love of just dismissive. You're fine. You're going to be fine. You don't need to be having all that business. You're fine. You're going to be fine. Yes. And then there's the opposite end.

Kristina  06:34

I have a lovely story about this. Actually, do you remember Ronald McDonald like the McDonald's spokesperson with the orange hair. 

Heather  06:41

The clown? 

Kristina  06:42

I think it's a clown. It's so I don't know it's kind of, is he a clown? It's awful, kind of awful. Anyway, Ronald McDonald,it's supposed to be happy. It's supposed to be like coming to hamburger and fries.  But anyways, I need

Heather  06:57

I don't really know it's not happy. I need some ground beef. 

Kristina  06:59

Oh God. There was a child years ago who was really frightened of that Ronald McDonald. And there was a big Ronald McDonald statue with sitting on a bench with, like his arm around, like you could sit next to Ronald McDonald. And this child was super freaked out about it. And the parent was like, That's ridiculous. You can sit by Ronald McDonald. You can go past Ronald McDonald. It's not a big deal. And the child was freaked. So what I recommended that the parent did, instead of just telling the child you're not actually worried about that that's ridiculous, suck it up and walk on by was to spend a little time with the child, with the child getting closer to Ronald McDonald going up, and the parent like poking its leg, and then the child poking its leg and doing those kinds of things to ease the child toward-

Heather  08:01

Desensitizing.

Kristina  08:02

Yes, but doing it together instead of, like you had said, dismissing a child-

Heather  08:08

Well, it's acknowledging there's a fear here, 

Kristina  08:10

Yes. And it doesn't have to make sense to me.

Heather  08:12

No, because they're children. And they'll have all sorts of things that seem quite irrational to us.

Kristina  08:18

Right. And sometimes that's true as adults, right? That little, itty bitty spider, and yet, wow, I can have a big reaction, right? Especially if it's in the car and I'm driving-

Heather  08:29

Depends. Is it hairy? 

Kristina  08:30

Oh my gosh. Don't even go there, girl. So fears don't have to make sense to anybody else, right? It's what you're feeling internally. It's when that fight, flight, freeze or feign part of your brain gets activated. You think I am in mortal danger by this little, tiny, hairy spider in my car. Crazy, but it's true. So that's something that we can work on, joining with our child and moving them toward the thing that is making them anxious.

Heather  09:02

And being mindful that we're not on the dismissive end, right? We're also not on the permissive end,

Kristina  09:08

Oh, right, like he is really big and scary. I don't like him either. Oh, let's avoid this place. Yeah.

Heather  09:15

Right. We gotta be in the middle in it, with acknowledging the feelings, desensitizing, practicing, not pushing in the middle between dismissive and permissive. It's a tricky balance. 

Kristina  09:31

I was gonna say the same thing. So we as parents need to give ourselves tons of permission to not panic, to take it slow and to ask for help, right? 

Heather  09:43

Absolutely.

Kristina  09:44

Because, especially when you know my anxiety gets triggered, my anxiety is triggered, then Grace's anxiety is triggered, or maybe mine gets triggered, because I know that hers is going to be triggered and holding her-

Heather  09:54

Off to the fences-

Kristina  09:55

So we need somebody else to help us. So Heather if you don't mind, kind of talk about how we can respect theirfeelings, but not feed into them, but not dismiss them.

Heather  10:07

 I think that I've really tried to do that through saying you've got this and reminding them of who they are, reminding them of their successes, and being like, Oh, this is no big shakes. You've got this. It feels like a big deal right now, when you're on the other side of it, you're gonna look back at this and be so proud of yourself.

Kristina  10:30

We did this with Grace regarding getting an injection.

Heather  10:33

The doctor is a huge one, right? Yeah, especially for kids like ours who had ear troubles because they were at the doctor, their ears hurt, and then somebody's going to look in it, and then what's that going to mean they're in pain. And the other thing with doctors is vaccinations and shots. Am I going to get a shot? Am I going to get a shot? Am I going to get a poke?

Kristina  10:54

I know, and it's going to hurt so much. So we did this with Grace. At first, she was fine getting injections, and then she went through this period of time where she had a ton of anticipatory anxiety, right, anticipating what it was going to be. 

Heather  11:06

This was my Zack, too. 

Kristina  11:08

So worked up about something, and you knew it's not going to be a big deal. It's not even going to hurt, but her brain and her body weren't telling her that at the time. 

Heather  11:16

Here's the important thing with that. We have to know that as adults, we talk about things to reduce our anxiety, right? We like to have conversation, we reach out to a friend, we maybe talk to a spouse, all of those things help us bring our anxiety down when we talk too much or in advance of an event like you're talking about too early. Oh, fora child with that anticipatory anxiety, it revs that engine, and all of a sudden that worry monster gets real big, cocky. 

Kristina  11:52

So with Grace the family, we'd all gone to have our flu shots together from the time she was really little, Grace would see me get injections. I just wanted her to kind of see what that looked like and watch how I managed it and things like that. But after this particular flu shot, which was more intense than previous, grace is upset about having to get this injection and really kind of having this panic as it was happening as soon as it was done, and she's like, Oh, well, that didn't hurt at all. I got my camera out and I started videotaping. I said, Grace, what just happened? She's like, I got my flu shot? Like, yeah, so Did it hurt? No, were you worried about getting it? I was, was the flu shot really something to be worried about? It wasn't it was fine. So the next time we had to go for an injection, Grace, got to see the little video of herself. Like, Hey, you did it. You handled it. Yes, it was okay.

Heather  12:52

Reminder of their success and our belief in them.

Kristina  12:56

I was like, well, that's a really good parenting moment. That was brilliant Kristina to have that be recorded, because she's not just hearing it from me, she's hearing it from herself.

Heather  13:07

Right? Absolutely Powerful. I remember Zack too, before surgery. Had to have blood draw. He was real little. It was probably a tonsillectomy or something, and he did not like those needles, right? Oh, man, he did not like those needles. And he would tense, tense, tense, tense, sense. And she would say, It's okay, honey, I'm gonna right now. It'sgonna go. And then he would be like, it's in now, right? Did you do it? It's over. And she's like, sweetheart, it's all done. And he would almost like, the tears that had welled right from all that anticipation were coming down his face, but then he would just laugh, because he was so happy. It was over relieved, right? Yes, and so reminding them of you got this, you can do this. It might be hard. I'm right here with you. All of those things are so powerful. I remember Ava. I just remembered this last night, and I called her in to the room where I was and said, Do you remember doing this? I don't think she was quite three. You know how, when they're gonna get their vaccinations, and they'll have two nurses, and it's like one in each leg, so we're gonna do it simultaneously. We're doing the countdown. Oh, man, it seems like a whole lot of business, right? All of a sudden, there's more people in the room. We're doing a countdown. We're restraining the child. They're coming at you two at a time, but it's so you get one poke really, right? And we don't have to redo this. So Ava knew she was getting shots, because every child always wants to know, do I have to get shots today? Yeah, sweetie, it's okay. We're gonna be okay. So I'm up by her head, and the nurses are by the legs and pokes go in. And she didn't weep or wail or anything, but she had these huge crocodile tears streaming down her face and her bottom lip stuck way out, and she said, I'm gonna tell my daddy, you did that to me. I. Uh, like Daddy was gonna, you know, round up and come in there and have a talking to with those nurses, until my daddy, you did that to me. Oh, my word. That's a child who knows you got their back. You got their back 100% you nurses, you be on alert. My daddy is gonna come up in here, from the two year old.

Kristina  15:29

Hey, listeners, we're so grateful to be part of your village. If these conversations and episodes have been impactful to you, we deeply appreciate your support to continue doing the work we love so much for such an amazing nonprofit organization, please visit www.gearup-podcast.com to make a tax deductible contribution. Thank you. Yeah, I think it's important, right, that we can say to our kids, I know you're scared, and it's okay. I'm here. I'm going to help you through it. You can do this.

Heather  16:07

You can do this. And keeping that anticipatory period short, remembering that we don't want to over talk things. I will often say, if a child is having, you know, school refusal and they're having separation anxiety. We have these big breaks at Holiday and so it's two weeks off. They're with family a lot. Don't talk. Just drop it if they bring it up, talk about it, then meet them where they're at. But if we keep bringing it up, they never have the chance to let their central nervous system just calm from it, because it's just kind of like a browser that grinds in their mind, right? So we just don't want to do that. Another thing that we want to be really mindful of is we're supporting our kids, and we know that something's coming up that they might be anxious about. It could be, you know, going overnight to grandma and grandpa's, or it could be being away from parents, or a test that's coming up, we want to be able to talk about it, if they talk about it, but not pepper them with questions. Even us as adults, I think it can be overwhelming if we're managing something and someone isn't just actively listening. If someone kicks too quickly into problem solving or questioning or throwing out ideas, it's too much, and it is for children as well. Just be an active listener, meet them where they're at and avoid really going too far down any road that they don't want to go down, or that they're not leading you down.

Kristina  17:46

It's not asking the leading question, right? So like, Are you anxious about your exam today, honey? Instead, how are you feeling about going back to school? That's what you can ask. Instead, how are you feeling about your exam today? Instead of leading them with, I know you're going to be anxious about it. So are you anxious about your exam today? Don't do that.

Heather  18:04

Well because that makes it you're anxious. It's not pulling out. You can even say, you know, is that anxiety monster cocky today? Is he grabbing hold?

Kristina  18:16

 Yeah, but, but try not to lead them, yeah, down that path. 

Heather  18:20

Like just assume that is all gonna be good and be like, You got this. I think that was something for me that really stood out, that our kids follow our lead on that so much. It goes back, I'm sure, to being the captain of the ship and being able to say to them, you've got this. I know you've got this. You're gonna do your very best.

Kristina  18:39

Yeah, we don't want to unintentionally send a message, right-

Heather  18:43

That we think they can't handle it, yeah? And that this is a situation where you would likely have anxiety. So I'm going to ask you about...

Heather  18:49

Yeah, and that we are hitting the panic button, right? Nothing will shake our kids up more quickly than us SOS-ing or hitting a panic button.

Kristina  18:56

Yes. So encouraging our children to tolerate their anxiety, right? To be with them in it. It's also a really powerful thing for ourselves and for our children to learn that feelings really are like waves and they do pass Yes, and you don't stay in that feeling forever. And so even being with a child who's in their anxiety, that anxiety is big, being with them and breathing and reminding them that this feeling is going to pass.

Heather  19:34

And visualization, I think, can be a really powerful thing for children and adults. Depends how old your child is, but like you said, it comes in waves, right? And you can even take them there and be like, where are we? Where's the waves? Are we in Lake Michigan? Are we in the ocean? Look on the horizon. Can you see it? Do you see land or who's there? Do you see the boat. They're coming for you. Are you gonna get in the boat? Are you gonna swim to shore? Like you've got the support and really helping them visualize their way out of it.

Kristina  20:07

it? I'm so glad you said that, Heather, because role playing can also be really, really helpful. So to be able to say to a child whose anxiety has shown up really big about going on the trip that you had spoken about this previously, about Zack going on that trip with school, and he was feeling really anxious about it. And so part of what you can do is say, Well, what would be the worst thing that would happen? And then what would you do in that case? Would you phone home? Would you talk to your teacher, would you climb a tree? Like, whatever they're kind of, what's the worst thing that could happen, and then role playing that back. That's

Heather  20:48

very powerful, because having a plan is half the battle. The other thing that's really important to remember is kids store information and pictures, so anytime we can visualize and be like, can you see the shore? Can you see the boat? What would you do in that moment? What's the worst thing that could happen? You're a really good problem solver. How would you solve that? They store it in a picture in their head, and then they go back to it when they need to which is really powerful. Another really important thing for us to remember is our children will learn to cope by how we cope.

Kristina  21:26

That's exactly it. When we think about the things that we can do as parents to help our children cope with their anxiety. Number one, we have to get our own anxiety under control. And oh, I love it when we can model for our children how we are managing. So if there's something that's happening in my world that has my anxiety monster, you know, really showing up big, I can verbalize to my daughter what I'm doing. So Whoa, my anxiety monster is here, and it is like making stuff cuckoo cajoo inside.

Heather  22:02

Grabbing hold.

Kristina  22:03

Yep, grabbin'  hold. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to take some big, deep breaths, and I demonstrate those. My child is nearby. She doesn't have to come over and watch me do this, but I'm doing it out loud. I'm going to take some deep breaths, then I start doing some of that internal coaching. Like Kristina, you are capable, you are competent, and you can handle this. Kristina, you are capable, competent, and you can handle this. And do some of that out loud, maybe some big stretching, maybe the, you know, rolling my shoulders and making sure I'm taking them down, drinking a nice big glass of water and modeling how I manage my anxiety so that my daughter can see that. For lots of people, it's turning on music, right? Music, singing, dancing, doing those kinds of things anddoing them in front of your child can really help.

Heather  23:00

Yes, for me, it's exercise always and forever. If I come home and my family at this point knows me well enough they can just look at me and be like, ooh. Maybe a walk. Maybe a run. Maybe lift some weights.

Kristina  23:19

Do something...

Heather  23:21

Burn whatever that is off. And the breaths. Always cue my kids in, because it's just something I've always done, that they've been very intentionally taught. And they will say, What's the matter mom? I'm like, I'm just, I'm just breathing. And they're like, No, you're not. That was a big breath, and that's true. They know that about me because they've seen me cope. They're my people. They know those things about us. So it's really important that we model the appropriate things, and we're gonna talk about what that looks like. They are really, really good ones to help our children cope with anxiety that also will help us. The self talk that you just talked about is a huge one. That inner voice of I've got this, I can do this. I know how to shrink my worry monster. I know how to increase my peaceful spot.

Heather  24:13

Or sometimes it's that we have to say, this feels really big, right now, right? It's not as big as it feels

Kristina  24:13

Well and this is a crazy thing about our brain, is that it believes what you tell it. So when I say out loud, I am capable, I am competent, and I can handle this. My brain's like, Oh, son of a gun, I am capable, competent, and I can handle this. 

Kristina  24:36

Yes, or even the phrase, I am safe. I am safe. Keep breathing. Yes, I can handle this. And your body responds right? Your blood pressure goes down, your heart rate goes down. You're able to be more expansive. Your body releases the intensity of that anxiety.

Heather  25:00

And what happens in those moments is our cortisol spikes, right? That's our stress hormone. And I think the things that I find most effective for me are being outside and being physical, because I'm more physical when I'm outside. And so maybe it's taking my dog for a walk, a really fast one, or a really brisk one. And being in nature like we've talked about before, just regulates that central nervous system. It engages our senses. All of a sudden we have grander perspective. Yes, because nature is so big, it's all consuming with our senses,

Kristina  25:38

and the only thing we needed to do was get in it, yeah, and to feel smaller

Heather  25:42

in the world and to gain perspective on whatever it is that's stressing us out, yep. So that's a huge thing. Here's a really important thing about kids, a child's stress level falls naturally within minutes of being in green spaces, minutes minutes of being in green spaces, that's powerful. Here's the other thing, and this is where I think I'm just a giant kid. Outdoor play protects a child's emotional development, so when they get outside, they're just more physical loss of free time, which so many kids have in today's world, yes, really, in a hurried lifestyle, which we've talked about in mindfulness of schedules, contributes to increased levels of anxiety and depression, right? We know this. Research shows this, so getting physical, expending energy, gets our endorphins going. Outdoor exercise is way better for children than indoor. They just get more physical outside. Way more physical.

Kristina  26:51

And they have the added benefit of all that being outside and in nature naturally brings.

Heather  26:57

Yes and serotonin? Happy chemical. You get those serotonin squirts.You get endorphins, because exercise causes the release of endorphins. Outdoor play leads to more vigorous play. We see it all the time, climbing, running, jumping, sledding, tumbling, rough play, all of that is endorphin release for kids. And the current research shows that moderate to vigorous physical activity in childcare settings increased from 1% indoors to as much as 11% outdoors, and when outdoor play was child led, meaning they have freedom of choice. They're not being instructed. It's not teacher led. It's child led.,the amount of vigorous activity further increased to 17%. Look at what that's doing to the brain and the chemicals in the brain.

Kristina  27:58

Yeah, and these are natural healers. 

Heather  28:01

Cortisol, reduced. Stress, reduced. Endorphins, raised. Happy, happy, happy endorphins. Serotonin raised. Vitamin D, taken in.

Kristina  28:14

Right. Central nervous system regulated. So much good. Oh, powerful. Yeah, that's a prescription. Absolutely,

Heather  28:23

Get outside and get active. That's it. Hugely helpful. Talk to us about sensory play, yeah?

Kristina  28:34

So we're gonna get outside, we're gonna get moving. And we also need to know what to do when we're inside and we are able, for whatever reason, to access the outside and to have that, maybe it's late at night. I discovered years ago that playing with dried lima beans is very regulating. I know that sounds crazy. It

Heather  28:57

It doesn't sound crazy if you've done it. Oh

Kristina  28:59

yeah, you get a few bags of dried lima beans, the big ones, and put them in a bowl and cup them in your hand, they sound like waves. When you cup them and release them, it can sound like waves. I have a huge basket of them in my office, and have for decades. And there's some really nice pressure activity that you can work with. If you dive your hands all the way down to the bottom, you have all that pressure on your arms and on your hands, and it feels so good, even taking a handful and having them go from hand to hand. So it's all the sensory right? Yep, and they don't have a weird smell. And as a therapist, I would prescribe for some of my clients to have that sensory play with the lima beans before they tried to go to sleep, because it just calmed them. For kids who had struggled falling asleep, it's like, yep, spend some time in the lima beans.

Heather  29:57

Talk to us also. I heard breaking news, Grace is back in a slime phase.

Kristina  30:01

Oh, my God. Don't talk to me about it.

Heather  30:05

Slime has its place in the world.

Kristina  30:06

It does. And actually, she's much better at making it now so it's not dripping off the table and stuck in all the carpets right now, she's just able to engage in it. That's another great sensory play. So I think about with sensory play, things that feel good, things that taste good, things that smell good, things that sound good, right? So it may be again, there's some music going on and there's some smell that we particularly like. Maybe you have a candle, or you have some wax, or you have some oils where you can experience that really preferred and comforting smell. It could be something that we're looking at that is beautiful. I really like the little I think they're called fidgets, but it's like water and oil, and oil is colored, and it drops into the water and you can the bubbles. Oh my word. It's very mesmerizing to watch, right? Or even we called it the calm down jar. And it was a jar filled with, I don't remember what was all in there, glue and glitter and water and different things, and depending on the viscosity, big word, but I remembered it, depending on the viscosity of the fluid, that glitter would settle at a different pace. And so you could shake up the bottle and and then watch the glitter as it moved through the water and it again, is mesmerizing. Our breathing flows, right? So those kinds of things can be really helpful in decreasing the intensity of the anxiety. 

Heather  31:37

And why sensory things are so important is because it brings it back to what is, rather than what could be. Because what anxiety always is, what could be? What if? What if? What if? And being sensory in the moment brings it back to what is.

Kristina  31:54

One of my favorite quotes ever, is from Martin Luther King. I'm condensing a quote, but he said, Fear, more often than not, is the misuse of our imagination. And boy, when I really settle on that, I think, yes, I have created a story that is making me anxious about something that hasn't even occurred.

Heather  32:21

Right, letting our mind never all sorts of places, rather than focusing on what is.

Kristina  32:26

So when we notice with our senses, it pulls us out of the reactive part of our brain, and it allows us to, like you had said, be really present with what is.

Heather  32:37

Yep. I think one thing that I often conveyed to my kids was the goal is not to be fearless, right? We don't want to be fearless. You just need to be brave enough in this moment to take the next step. And I'm right here. Yep, I'm with you, but let's take the next step. Yeah, and if your child needs outside help, taking the next step, that is okay. Oh, my word. If you need help, coaching your child along on this, that is normal and okay. And there are professionals that are skilled and educated to help build those coping skills and to help us as parents, see if we have behaviors that are limiting our kids, limiting their growth development, limiting their ability to cope and be resilient.

Kristina  33:29

Right. Are we inadvertently contributing to the problem? 

Heather  33:33

And that's a really important lens to have someone take.

Kristina  33:37

I am so grateful for Grace's therapist. She is wonderful and has been such an integral part in Grace's healing. And I've heard parents say, but my kids won't go to therapy, especially when they get to be like middle school, high school, they're not going to go. I think that's okay. You go right model, model for them and learn as much as you can about what it is to parent a child who wrestles with and struggles with anxiety or depression or whatever it may be. We don't necessarily have to have our child go if they won't, because forcing somebody into therapy is a really lousy way to do therapy. Instead, we should go and learn what we can and normalize

Heather  34:22

Yeah, normalize it for our kids, that this is just what we do.

Kristina  34:27

We look for our helpers and therapists our helpers. Thank you so much for joining us for Gear Up! Adventures In Parenthood. I'm Kristina.

Heather  

And I'm Heather. And we're so grateful to join you on your parenting journey, until next time…

Heather and Kristina

See you on the trails!

Kristina  

The Gear Up! Adventures In Parenthood podcast is brought to you by the ODC Network in Holland, Michigan. It is produced by Jen Plante Johnson, recorded and edited by Dave Purnell, with original theme music by Dave Purnell,

Heather  

The ODC Network is a nonprofit organization that strives to advance outdoor education and conservation in West Michigan.

Kristina  

Since 2000 the ODC network has served over a million people through hands on outdoor learning experiences and conserved thousands of acres of native habitat through restoration and preservation projects.

Heather 

The ODC Network’s vision is building a better community by connecting people, land and nature. To learn more and get involved, go to www.ODCNetwork.org.