A*POP, Top Shortage & Heartstopper

After months of back-to-back guests, we're finally back with a solo episode... and there's a lot to catch up on.

From sneaking into Tyla's exclusive A*POP listening party in London and sharing our first impressions of her new album, to debating Beyoncé, Jay-Z and celebrity culture.

We also dive into one of the biggest debates in the LGBTQ+ community: is there really a "top shortage", or are gay men simply conditioned to associate masculinity with attraction? We unpack why DL men are so desired, the stereotypes surrounding tops and bottoms, masculinity, femininity, Heartstopper, queer identity and the expectations placed on gay men.

Whether you're here for Tyla, LGBTQ+ culture, queer dating, pop culture, masculinity, Heartstopper or simply a chaotic catch-up with us, we hope you enjoy this episode.

Follow us on Social Media:

TikTok: @AMAABF
Instagram: @AMAABF

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi. Hi. We haven't done a solo in so long. I'm so ready. I'm so excited. I feel so much to catch up on. I know. Uncomfortable. Like as in, like it just feels weird because it's like we're not like here to get to know each other. Well, we shouldn't be anyway. Let's do a quick reintroduction, okay? And then we'll get into my awful, awful news that I literally just got today. Yeah. About a medieval disease that I may or may not have. Duty words. Stay tuned to figure out what it is. I'm sure that's what you want to do. Comment what you think it is. No, please don't. Girby. Um basically, I'm going to reintroduce because I feel like we get a lot of questions with our guest episodes. I'm Fariz and this is Josh. So we are a couple. Not everyone knows that. We've had lots of guests that have come on the podcast before, and they're fully like, I didn't realise you guys were together. You should do your research, babes, before you come on. Not to drag anyone. No, I'm dragging. But we are a couple. We've been together for nearly 10 years. We've done lots of traveling together. Um, we have our podcast together, and we do vlogs and we do lots of fun stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

The aim of the podcast is for POC people to talk about their experiences, and we have lots of fun chats, geekies, but also getting into the nitty-gritty of the queer community. So the first thing is Tyler's Listening Party. We went to Tyler's Listening Party, like some VIP bougie. We were invited by Tyler and the South African Unity of Passports. What she said, yeah. What is it called? Like when it's like the the Tourism and Travel Board of South Africa invited us. In the South Africans. So the tourism of South Africa invited us in London. Yeah. Yeah. And Tyler. Tyler. We're basically bestie. They never had a pretty girl from Jailbergs. I mean now, and that's what they prefer. Iconic. Let's get into the story of how it happened. So we're going to see a couple of people. This year is the year of like music stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I feel like we're going to see all the people from say went and fucking release an album. And Jay-Z having her walking up in the world. We should drag that and talk about that. Okay, yeah, go on, go on. Yes. Yes. That is definitely. Yeah, go on. Okay, so I went on to a deep dive and a little stalk. Yeah. So we weren't actually invited by Tyler or the South African Tourism Board of Community LGBT have fans. But if you want to hit us up, we can this is our introduction to us. Yeah. But basically, what happened was on her website at the bottom it said RSVP, London, New York, Atlanta for the 16th of July. Had no idea what was happening, no idea what it was. Put my email in, signed up to this website. Great, loving life. Now it said it was a listening party for APOP, which is her new album, which I'm so excited for. There's a couple of songs already out, which we already love and are obsessed with. Yeah. And I just thought, let's do it. We're all dressed, decide on the outfit. Doors open at six. Where by the way, it gets us uh about an hour and a half to get there from our house, right? Yeah. And we were leaving at about quarter to five-ish, let's say, like something like that. So we're already running a little bit late, C's. Yeah. Standard. Just as we're about to leave the door, I was like, oh, it actually says you need to be here early, and there's a capacity thing, and then it's a one-in, one out, and first come, first serve. So we're like, and I was like, Josh, do we go? Do we go? I have no idea. How did you not know? It's first come, first serve. I was like, so people will be queuing earlier to get in. Yeah. But because it was a limited thing and only like it was only released like two days before, obviously, that would already limit the number. It's already massive amounts of people. So I don't think anyone really knew that it was happening. No. We just ignored all the warning signs. Yeah. But there was something in my head, I was like, this is gonna happen. I feel like it's gonna happen. Something. The universe. Yeah, Tyler. Tyler. She messaged us and was like, You'll make it in, babes. Yeah. Just say my name, say my name. Anyway. Um, so then we get there, don't we? And we park somewhere where I'm like, don't park here. And he's like, it's fine. And I'm like, it's not fine. It's uh permit holder only, we'll get a ticket. Yeah. Because it's fine, I'll pay for it. It's Tyler. I was like, fair, go. For Tyler, she's You were like, it's a free event, so 80 quid is worth it for Tyler tickets. So we park there and we walk, and the venue's not there. And I was like, where's the venue then? Yeah, it's just like these buildings with these restaurants. And I was like, is Tyler in there? Like, where is she? Oh, she must be in that one. Like, yeah. The way you were like so confident, she must be in that one restaurant. Yeah, literally. I can see her. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, oh no, someone actually, a group of girls came here long before, and it's actually a 15-20-minute walk up the street. So we're right. Did you get a bit of doom then? Were you a bit like a little bit? I was like, I don't think it's happening. Yeah. Running through central London. Yeah, it's hot, it's sweaty, we're dying. Like, we get to where the venue is. As we peer around the 15-minute walk. If you say that right in the heat. Yeah. No, I just needed to make sure. 15 minutes. We turn the corner, small little queue. Oh, we've oh yeah. We peek our head round, goes down there round the block. That was the VIP. That was the VIP. So naturally I went up to the VIP and I was like, Do you know here we are?

unknown 5:16

Do you want to be a podcast?

SPEAKER_00 5:17

They were like, No. Do you have a podcast? And they're like, Yeah, sure, come in. Yeah. Um, no, we spoke to the bouncer and we were like, listen, is there any point in us actually queuing up? Because like I would rather just go have dinner if we're not gonna get in. Yeah. Apparently I'm really hungry. And then he was he was so nice, he was like, Oh, if they were already like letting people in, because we were there like oh, we were there at 20 past six, half six, so they still weren't letting people in, so that was all about yeah, um, but then I was like, Oh, okay, so they're not letting people in, so we're gonna probably make it. And then he's like, if they were, like, I'd I'd think you're now, but they're not. And I was like, Well, we'll go and have a look, like let's see how long the queue is. Obviously, Josh in his ADHD mind is hyper-fixated, he's already said he's gonna go, so it's like we're basic, like we're gonna try regardless, even though we're pretending that we're only gonna stay in the queue for an hour and then go home. Like, we both know we're here till midnight now. Exactly. So exactly. So then we go around there and we we park up our bodies and the queue, and then um it's I I then know we're gonna get in, but I don't want to say anything to him. Why though? How did you think because the queue was not that long, like it was long, but it wasn't that long. They said capacity uh 500, 500 was VIP, exactly, and we were trying to like make it. There was definitely no, but I kind of knew, but you know, when a part of me is like, just in case they're being like a bit like that. So anyway, we got in, it was a cute venue. Tyler did keep us waiting a little bit longer than I wanted to, to be fair. She didn't come on until about nine. Yeah, so we were in the hour, was it was such a good atmosphere, and then she came on. Tyler came on, and she looked incredible. When I mean like I knew this girl was pretty, but like seeing her in person, I was like, You're probably one of the prettiest people I think I've ever laid eyes on in my whole life. Like, she's stunning. Don't repeat what you said in that moment though. I don't know if you want that. Don't say what you don't want out there. I don't know if you want the other one. Yeah, you don't want to talk about out there. Do you want to say do you want to say what you said or do you want to keep that back? I'm gonna keep that. Okay, fair. I'm gonna keep that because I'll probably change my mind when I go see the other one. Yeah, fair. Yeah. The other one. Another one. We'll talk about the other one in S. Yeah, we'll bring our. Although that's just brought up. Yeah. She is so I mean, she's obviously a very talented singer, very talented dancer, yeah, very talented songwriter, like whatever it is, like she's obviously talented. I don't want to just bring someone down with their looks. But I think when someone's so exceptionally and just like by sh like so gorgeous, naturally so pretty. And it was, I think we were just shocked because we always saw her on like music videos, like, she's so cute, like she's so pretty. Like, but then when you saw it, it's like, wow, like even the cameras don't do her justice, yeah. And that's so weird because she already looks so good. Yeah, I don't know. But the album like was such a bum. And I've never done a listening party before, so I didn't know what to expect. Like, I just saw it, I was like, let's do it. Yeah, love new. Um, but like she went through her whole album, she kept Chanel to the end. Yeah, love new. Yeah, she started with Is It Love, and that is a banger. I love, love, love, love, love. The music videos Tyler, maybe just a little bit. Think of jump. How you did jump as in South Africa in Joe Berg, yeah, vibe. Don't fall into the trap of like the Rihanna's and like where they like completely just go Hollywood, you know, it's a bit boring, but keep it. The reason why your old stuff did so well is because it was very linked to like your cultural background. So definitely have Oh no shade to Rihanna. Rihanna came at a completely different time. Yeah, I think to do Rihanna. Don't drag us, yeah. We love Rihanna, but like yeah. Anywho, yeah, I like it was it was so good, and there's that one song, and I can't remember what it is. I don't care, I like that one. I don't care, yeah. I think I like all of them. The when people say no skip, I kind of get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was thinking like back in the day as well. Like, it's I said to Josh when I listened to the music, I was like, it's so nice to hear someone make the music that's actually from their culture, yeah, and like not just have like uh Christina Aguilera. I'm dragging so many artists, but I'm just saying back in the time, it's not their fault, it's like back in the yeah, yeah, but like you know, Christina Aguilera doing that kind of music, or like and cosplaying is like different culture, and I think it's quite nice to just see someone do it. Not that you can't appreciate other people's cultures, but it's just nice. But, anyways, we we did do a TikTok afterwards that Tyler did comment on um with a cute little emoji, and I was like, I think we're friends. Yeah, no, I think we're friends, yeah. As in, like, she's she's literally been like, Do you guys want to come over? We're like, Oh, we're actually going on holiday next week. Um, so that's kind of cute. And I spoke to her. Yeah, I tried to push Josh to speak to her, but he's too shy. No, but I was like, Tyler, I just want to say you're still beat up. And she was like, Thank you. Looked me in the eyes. She now remembers me. And Josh said this really cute thing afterwards, which I think is adorable. He was like, you know, when you dream, it's about people that you see in your life. He was like, now, whether she knows it or not, your face is in her psyche. The crazy axe murderer that's trying to break into her house and have your face. I know I love, I protect her, I pick her up like a little button and I lash her. Um, okay, next. Yeah. Do we want to drag Jay-Z? Yeah, I do want to drag Jay-Z. I want to drag Jay Z. I want to drag Jay-Z. Why aren't we getting literally? Why aren't we getting Act 3? Why is it not happening? It's not happening because Jay-Z has her on stage. No? Yes. So annoying. I'm actually angry at her because I'm like, you're so successful. You have the bigger audience, you've done the most work. We like you. No one cares about Jay-Z. Like I'm pretty sure he pays people to attend his concert. Yeah. No one have you ever noticed how anyone you talk to doesn't say Jay-Z's their favourite rapper? No one has said that. No one says they listen to that. Kanye West, they do. There's no one said they listen to it. Alfie, I'm not gonna drag you out there. But yeah, he will no, don't he'll get dragged and cancelled. But like there's other like ones that are on his level that started around the same time that people still listen to. No one gives a fuck about Jay-Z. I know. I'm sorry. And him and those diddy parties, like, no one cares. But the concerts that he has to bring out Rihanna, he has to bring out Beyonce for people to buy tickets, like, learn that no one cares about you. Stop. And Beyonce, stop. I'm so sick of powerful, successful, rich women putting their shit to the side for fucking men. Yeah. So sick. I'm sick of it. Daisy is nothing without Cardi B. I'm looking at you. Yes, I am looking at you. And I'm also looking at I love her so I mean I love Cardi B. And I love her so much. But Hallie Bailey, beautiful, amazing career ahead of her. She fucked it with the stupid boyfriend husband, whatever. Yeah. Imagine at the peak of your career, you're gonna get with that kind of rapper, and then they leave you with a child, and it's like, where are you going from there? Just stop. You don't like okay. Her baby is very, very cute. I know. No, the baby's fine, yeah. It's amazing. But it's like all these people, they just go for dickhead guys, and then these guys, you have to also realise we live in a very misogynistic patriarchal society where they get jealous of their girlfriends and wives. Jay-Z feels a certain way that he's the one that brought Beyonce up and she's overtaken him 50 times over, and now no one can. And the only reason that they're selling tickets is because Beyonce's there. And then he dragged Riri out of retirement. That was definitely some clause they have at Rock Nation or some kind of contract. She did not want to be there. No, she did not want to be there, she was not happy, she was stumbling a little bit. I love bad girl Riri. Yeah, I love it. She looks like this anymore. That felt like a last-minute thing where they were like, right, you're gonna sing these songs, and she had no time to do that. And that Beyonce, I'm sorry, but you're you're crossing the line to pathetic. Just stop, leave him to do what he wants to do, and you focus on what you want to do. Drop are your fans are the ones that are supporting your lifestyle, babes. So you don't want to let them down just because you want to make your husband feel like a man. Piss off. No, not b anyways. Love you be. Love you be. Love you be. Um, there was also one other thing that I wanted to bring up. I saw something on social media the other day, ADHD popping everywhere. Go on, yeah, fine. Um, and it was about uh queer men saying that there's a top shortage in the gay community. Yes, and I've seen this, not that I agree, but I've seen a lot of this kind of stuff, yeah, yeah. And it is like a lot of uh friends that we have and people that you come into contact with, like that. Events, even even to be honest, like I would say like my own like stereotypical bias mind. Even me, like sometimes when I go to events, I I am a bit like, oh, interesting. Like, where where are the belts for this dress? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally, yeah. I saw a TikTok video about it, and the person on there was basically saying, Um, it's not that there's a shortage of tops, it's that queer men idolise masculinity, and you attach being a top with masculinity. So even if you have a top that's feminine, you wouldn't automatically assume that they are a top and you put them in the box of being a bottom. Um, and uh masculinity is so sought out, sought after in the community that it's like anything that fears outside of that, you're like, Oh, you must be a bottom then. Yeah, which I think is quite interesting. That's so true. Because like what yeah, exactly. Like, what do you mean when you say there's an overtaking of bottoms and tops? Are you sleeping with them all to find out? Or do you just mean like by looking what you traditionally think and accept to be a top and bottom by your stereotype? Like, is that what you actually mean? There's so many bottoms here, but actually, like loads of them are yeah, tops or whatever, yeah. And I don't know. Yeah, that's not true. And I I think it does come down to like masculinity, like whatever stereotypes, yeah. And there is like this weird, and I think we all had it, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we like we definitely definitely have like gone through it, have to like unlearn a couple of things where like femininity as a man is seen as such a bad thing, yeah. Uh straight, gay, whatever you identify as, like it's really it's something that we do not like at all. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So masculinity, yeah. You basically want like a straight man. Like, do you know and I think that's where that's the top, yeah, exactly. And I think that's where all these DL experiences and people chasing after these DL guys, because they replicate everything that a straight man has. But we need to undo something in the gay community, yeah. Because I don't know, I don't know. I think we need to be a little bit more fluid. Yeah, so it's the thinking that you want them because we've all been conditioned under the same thing. I think gay men sometimes get conditioned the same way women do when growing up, like you what they find to like, such as makeup, such as the South Africans, such as makeup, such as like the more feminine stuff, you will assume, and then you will uh find attractive that masculine, whatever that masculine is told to you at the time, because let me tell you, masculinity in 2005 is not masculinity now. Like we were looking at freaking boy band Justin Bieber Gareth Gates as like the man, and that is not what the man is now. The man now is like this hulky, hairy blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that also changes, but there's definitely some work that we need to do to be like firstly, is that true? Secondly, is there toxic masculinity within the tops that are masculine presenting that don't want to associate with the gay community and don't want to be in queer spaces because they're like, I'm not like that. So there's those two types of things there that I think within the community we need to work on. But it does bring up like a quick little topic which probably deserves its own episode, but it's fine. Okay. Heartstopper. Because the movie has just come out. I don't know when this is gonna come out, but it's out now. So um the purposeful switch in roles of Charlie and the other one, the other word, what's his name? Nick, yeah. Because obviously everyone expected Charlie to be the bottom, yeah. Which he ended up, but they're just showing versatility, they're showing whatever. But then I think that was quite obviously on purpose and quite a nice way to like show, oh, okay, go daddy Charlie, you know. Literally, and I think it's so good that the first time that they had sex they did have Nick as the bottom. Like it just it does, it undoes so much stigma, do you know what I mean? And it really does flip it on its head. I think it's good that that made it like versatile because I think sometimes queer people have such binary ideas of like what a top is, what a bottom is, what you should like, what you should act like. So I think it's good that like like queer people should be fluid, do you know what I mean? You should experiment with different things, and especially for them. I mean, I know they're all like 22, 23, 24, but they're playing like 16, 17, 18 year olds. Are they still that young? They're like twelve yeah, they're quite young. Oh, okay. Yeah, but I think it was so good that they did that, and it does definitely come into the whole masculinity, femininity thing. Um, and yeah, I loved that movie. Yeah, it was so sad to wrap it up. Yeah, it was very cute. Um, it was rushed and very focused on them. Yeah, I wish so. But the other characters got a bit more. Yeah, I was saying to you actually, like how it's so interesting how in like um love actually like all these like other movies that you get one movie, you manage to get to know all the characters, everyone's but for some reason in this it was like they obviously didn't have time into the two hours to like show us everyone, yeah, which I think they could have, but maybe the people that made the movie are used to making TV shows and didn't quite know how to translate it onto yeah, yeah. It was still good though, it was still good. But I definitely would have wanted a bit more for the last ever Heartstop. Yeah, because some of the other characters were really forgotten. Yeah. Like all the other couples, like you they just felt like background characters in the series. They really had like their own episodes. Yeah, like Tao and um Yasmin, I don't know her name in the actual show. Oh, is that not her name? No, Yasmin Finney. Finley, is that okay. Well, they were like breaking up and like it was like a big deal. Like they spent ages trying to get together and figure it out in the series, and then all of a sudden it's like I'm going to break up. Yeah, and I was like, no, we need more. Yeah. Like, what do you mean? Yeah, anyway. So that was fun. Yeah. But I do think they're all over it. Not all of them, but I do think the main two, and they just seem a little bit over it. Not in a bad way, but in the way that you expect. Yeah. Like, come on. I think they're trying not to get tight casted into particular roles, and I think they're all going on to do their other things at the minute. Like, even Kit um is in this new like war uh movie, a bit like Jar Head vibes, where he's going around in like army costumes and stuff like that, and it's like very masculine men all around him. So I feel that he feels a certain way. He wants to try and like do something. Distance himself, and also they were really young when they first started, so they probably do want to just like do something a bit different. And then Joe Locke with like Agatha Dark or whatever it is. Yeah, I love that. Um I think he played Edward Scissorhands in the Broadway production. Yeah, I think it was he played the main part. Yeah, that they are definitely all ready to be done with Heartstopper, which is fine. I get it. I do get it. I do believe, and I do want to say, like, I am wondering about how Kit's future is gonna go with that kind of stuff because it's interesting that that's the role he went into. I have ideas about feeling like he might have not been pressured, but been um I mean he said he was pressured into coming out, but I think from the other side, potentially, this is just my idea, no like proof of this, it's all allegedly, but I do think like maybe it was at a time where a lot of like people were annoyed at straight people playing gay parts, and a lot of people were kind of whether fairly or unfairly, there was a lot of that, you know, like and for someone so young just starting out was getting some backlash already on such a huge gay show. Yeah, and they didn't recognize pop-up, a queer show, let's say, or say gay. I should start saying queer, actually, that's such a good umbrella term on a queer show. I think he would felt pressure from them to just say something about his sexuality, and I'm not too sure what he actually feels and identifies as, as to how much he felt pressure to just say something, yeah, just to get the heat off it. And I understand both ways. I understand if he genuinely does feel like he's bisexual and he felt pressure to have to say that because he shouldn't. I also understand if he's not necessarily maybe he's just a little bit curious, but had to label it so that people wouldn't attack him. Um, so I'm quite interested to see what his future will look like. Well, you'll know quite quickly in the next couple of years, yeah. But then there's the other thing as well, which I think is very prevalent in the queer community, and this is actually another topic that I did want to talk about. We'll see if we have like a bit of time for it. But um uh being bisexual in the queer community, I think like the different levels between like a woman being uh bisexual and a man being bisexual, I think the reason why it's so stigmatized and people have like a bit of an issue with it when men say that they're bisexual is usually because it's even more taboo to say that you're um gay as a man than it is to a woman, I personally think. Um, so if you're coming out, it's a very easy way to kind of like go into being gay. So a lot of men that we've had like on this podcast and friends and people I've spaced over the years all started off saying that they were bi and then it transitioned in. So the whole queer community already have this preconceived idea that men that say they're bi always end up just being gay, and it's easy to slip its way into becoming that. But with women, yeah, I think women are. lot more expressive and a lot more like fluid able to be fluid with it. Yeah, yeah. So I think what happens with women is that um they say that they're bi, they experiment, but then there are a lot of girls that end up with men. Do you know what I mean? Or they're a bit curious, they'll experiment a bit more, they'll be more vocal about it, then they end up with men. So I feel like there's a lot of feelings towards that because it's like you say you end up with a man or the opposite sex and then you end up living the rest of your life as a straight person, I guess. Or like you don't have to deal with the world thinking you're queer or gay or all that comes with that. Yeah yeah like you like I can I understand both sides. Like I understand like why people in the queer community would have a feeling have some feelings around that. Do you know what I mean? I know a lot of like lesbians that are just straight up like queer lesbians have that issue where they'll have like the straight girl. Again I think there's like slight um parallels there where it's like you know how masculinity and but anyway so they have like and I don't know too much because obviously I'm not a lesbian but like from what I've heard there is that and I feel like there's that trauma for them of like getting the straight girl. Yeah she's experimenting they fall in love she goes back to a man and there's almost like that feeling of like it's it's more of a betrayal. It feels like worse to them than like them going with another woman it'll be like oh so I could never give you what you wanted I could never fully satisfy you actually because you've just ended up dating men afterwards and saying yeah yeah yeah yeah it's sexuality it's hard whise sexuality should be just fluid because I think the this what makes it so complicated is we're trying so hard to like and and you need to now in this in this society we need to know because we we need to know if you're gonna be interested or not but in an ideal world you wouldn't have to stress so much about are you gay are you are you are you just like no you should just be fluid but yeah but I think that's why I think a lot of uh gay men that come out as bi I think they're actually gay and I think the actual bi men are the ones who are straight but DL or the ones that never do it because they're so scared of like femininity so scared of their sexuality but I think a lot of bi people are actually uh so the outwardly bi men the majority of I think a a large percentage of them are actually gay because it's like you might as well you wouldn't risk that like oppression or that way of life like the the the shit you're gonna get for that way of life. So you're like I might as well say I'm bi if not gay. But then the actual by people who could get away and actually can just date women will probably hide that more because it's like why would I fuck up my life? Yeah because I like that guy privately but I'll just stick with the woman because it's easier kind of thing. Exactly that potentially that's an interesting topic we should find someone to talk about more with because that's cool. This is what I was going for a walk the other day and I was just thinking I think this is where I'm could be all wrong. Well yeah but this is what I I think personally and that's why I think like uh women are more like open to experimenting and like even if a woman is straight I feel like they're more they're just more open about it. Like I don't think there's as much there is obviously like homophobia um for queer women 100% but I do think a lot of it they're they're just more open to experimenting with it. Yeah I have an announcement to make this is feels so crazy to say this is so funny isn't it out into the world I don't know why I'm saying it should I just not say it say it we can cut it out if we can so I have had my fair share of health struggles all very minor to be honest but they're just like things that are annoying right so stomach issues and it ends up being something and then psoriasis autoimmune and the blah blah blah blah okay so then I get I do blood tests for my new treatment for psoriasis because it suppresses your immunity so they want to make sure you don't got stuff yeah right so then it's not exactly stuff um from all the boys back in the day all the boys now babes at one point in my head that I can think of could be so anyways um I get this like a letter from the GP like online and I'm like reading it and it was like negative negative and then it says detected and I was like what the fuck is this it didn't say what the traditional medieval name of it is I have a medieval disease and the fact I have that is so not only embarrassing but like crazy because it's like I have health anxiety and not even me not even I can see this yeah although I did when I was a kid because I saw it on TV once anyway I have tuberculosis that's not funny. I have TB like tuberculosis that's at the bottom of the checklist when you're doing anything I know it's not at the top like it's it's a thing that that I thought didn't exist anymore. Like I was just like me and my privilege was like that's an old person disease like not for me not me I'm not gonna be coughing up blood and dying yeah I am no I'm not but it was so funny so when I got it and I was like um mum mummy gonna have some yogurt mummy I was like what is this and she was like oh yeah TP it is TP oh that's so strange and I was like yo very calm about this what do you mean? Anyway it looks like it's I can't remember the word now it's called latent latent which means it's not active and you can't pass it on to people um and you've had uh some kind of resistance anywhere through like injection or tablet or something when you were young yeah something's happened but I've come into contact with someone who's had active tuberculosis such a funny word I can't tell and obviously I've caught it tuberculosis I feel like a posh name yeah I was like diarrhea yeah gonorrhea oh my god diarrhea is such a syphilis name these are all possible syphilis is perfect syphilis will always be perfect Chelsea girl yeah a hundred percent yeah syphilis with her friend hippie hoppy and yeah chilly chilly yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna say too many names we know a few too many of them Phility Philipsity and syphilis yeah exactly they go together really well yeah yeah I think tuberculosis tabs yeah tab tabby we all know a tab yeah what their full name tuberculosis then she got dragged at school and changed it tabs habs tabby cabsillion willy and I should be called fabs fabs yeah why because it's like habs tabs fabs yeah okay okay I'll be fabs you'll be jash jash Josh Jabs hi Josh Hi Josh anyways so I have a medieval disease um but it's latent which means it's not active it means my immunity covered it all up and kept it all safe for me inside my body still um and it can become active at any point so I have to have treatment for it uh obviously the NHS don't see anything as emergency so my appointment's in like three weeks that was so crazy I won't die before then but if I do I've loved you guys and this journey's been amazing. Um but I just yeah I honestly can't it's so dumb but yeah it's not I can't spread it and it's not yeah it's not hope it's just who's sleeping with Farron it was not the thing I was expecting on a Monday morning like I just wasn't anything else yeah anything else anything from the tronic anything from the tronic two pumpkin preses please so dumb I killed him anyways um yeah but I did think I watched something on TV when I was younger and someone was coughing blood on a tissue yeah I can't remember what it was and I was like oh my god what and I was really young and I was like oh my god what is that and mum was like oh it's tuberculosis and I was like oh my god can I get that and she was like no no no like it's an old disease like it doesn't really exist anymore fucking bitch she lied to me didn't she wow yeah well we get treatment dad but the annoying thing is which I get why it's irritating is now that you can't do your psoriasis for like four medication for like four months yeah because the treatment apparently is four one tablet a day for four months which is kind of crazy you're not gonna lie wild and on top of that I think like psoriasis is like an annoying thing for you as well because you first started on psoriasis medication and it made you feel unwell so you had to stop that obviously the NHS takes ages which is obviously an immunity suppressant so that could have actually fucked that could have reactivated my tuberculosis so fuck you NHS yet again yeah carry on and then you had to wait like two three months for this next one you had all the tests you thought you were gonna go on in July I think they said like maybe come back from holiday and now it's like you can't do it. So I feel for you when it comes to medical stuff yeah and it could be doing anything inside like affecting my joints more and I'm just like for fuck's sake I'm so young still I'm too beautiful for cute Tyler help me Tyler right well that's this has been so we have not done a solo in so long and this will certify so long we have so much travel coming up in the next six months I think if I make it yeah we're all making it it's good we have Copenhagen we have a trip around Europe we have Greece uh we have Japan and Korea we have Sierra Leone uh Kenya and Jordan maybe say the next year so we have lots of stuff we want to do solo episodes with our cameras and lights in different countries so imagine Bambi Forest in Japan chats good vibes beach in Sierra Leone Wadi Ram Desert in Jordan we're gonna get really creative with all the podcast episodes that we have coming out and we're gonna be doing lots of vlogs like cinematic vlogs of all of our channels keep an eye out for the vlogs on our other channel which we've just started building out yeah yeah um so we're so excited for all of this stuff to come so excited from literally we go on holiday on Saturday yeah this week yeah um and then from there is that's when all the content's gonna start coming out yeah we also have such a backlog of guests I know we have maybe guests by the way eight to ten guests in the bank ready to go so we're filming this week getting them all done yeah and then you guys are gonna have so many episodes to come and we're gonna take a break for a couple of weeks but we will be back but we deserve it because we work so hard and we do the podcast and we do client work and we do full time work and la la. So we're gonna take a break so we don't burn out okay forgive us yeah but we hope you've enjoyed this episode please like subscribe and share yeah you never say that oh you're ready for your close up okay go make sure that you like comment and share and repost everything can subscribe and the notification bell check out our Instagrams our Farrison Josh Instagram which is more personal fun shit from us and then also our podcast one which we post clips um and our other YouTube channel as well if you want to see more stuff with like us this is very podcast heavy so if you want to have a little mix and a little look on that have a little look we'll probably do a collab so you can see the collab button right now there. Oh really I reckon collab fun yeah but our guest is here our next guest is here so I'm gonna love and leave you thank you so much I've been Farris and this has been Josh take care of here I can feel okay here to get