Ableism in ACTION!!

In this podcast episode, we dive into real stories of people with disabilities, sharing their experiences and insights on ableism. What is ableism? It's discrimination that favors able-bodied people, often pushing those with disabilities aside. If you've faced ableism or want to learn how others have tackled it head-on, tune in to hear how to push back and fight what's been holding you back. A big thanks to the ECI staff, our Board President, and participants for sharing powerful, real-life examples of Ableism in Action. Don’t miss out—let’s combat this together!

Transcript

(00:09):

This is the What's Bugging You podcast, where people with disabilities share examples of advocacy they have used to deal with issues that made life hard. This episode will keep you buzzing with positive and better opportunities and learn more about how to do life. In this episode, [00:00:30] we'll be exploring ableism and how it impacts people with disabilities.

(00:37):

Thank you for joining the Independent podcast today. The podcast is presented to you by the ECI staff and participant on what's bugging you. The Independent Center is a nonprofit organization. We serve the community with people who have a disability. For more information, you can reach the [00:01:00] Independence Center on our website and our Facebook page at www.endeendnce.org. Org g, or you can go on our Facebook page at Independence.

(01:18):

Well, since the ADA has been out there creating change since 1990, people are more used to us being their coworker, the neighbor they meet at the grocery store or someone they ride with on the bus or the airplane. [00:01:30] Ableism may show up in less obvious ways, but when it does show up in a very direct way, it is startling and awkward for both the person with a disability and for those involved who do not have a disability. Ableism came out for me in a startling way at physical therapy. It started out great. There was an immediate positive rapport with my physical therapist. They were able to adapt the exercises to be sitting in my manual wheelchair. I have significant [00:02:00] physical disability. I don't stand anymore, have it for years, and I have personal assistants who assist me with all activities of daily living. This all works great.

(02:11):

I lead a very active life, but at physical therapy, it all changed When I decided to speak up about the pre and post survey required by the insurance company. This insurance company focuses on seniors and persons with disabilities. I told my physical therapist, Hey, I [00:02:30] know you didn't write this, but look at the questions they're asking. The pre-survey asked questions like How many flights of steps could I carry groceries up before the injury or issue That brought me to physical therapy and also how many miles could I walk? There was no option to choose other or non-applicable, but my physical therapist told me I had to choose an answer for each question or the insurance company would not pay for the physical therapy. These questions have never been [00:03:00] relevant to me in my entire life and that is okay. I don't need to carry groceries up steps.

(03:07):

I have a wheelchair accessible apartment and I have never yet found a need to walk or roll a mile. I missed it to my physical therapist that when I took the survey based on these goal markers that the insurance company wanted, it's going to look like I've made no progress at all when in fact the physical therapy had helped me tremendously and has been very [00:03:30] successful and this was the moment I saw my physical therapist thinking and looking confused. Well, when you're done with physical therapy, they ask, you will be able to do more activities of daily living yourself, right? Like maybe be able to dress or take a bath yourself in shock. I replied, no, I've had my disability my whole life. I was here for strengthening and balancing, which is making a tremendous difference to me and my daily functioning, but I'll always [00:04:00] need personal assistance and that is okay.

(04:03):

My life works out well. The next appointment, instead of being taken back to the large room or everybody's exercising together, I was quickly ushered to a private room. The physical therapist I had had such great rapport with at first told me I had done everything they could help me with in physical therapy. I was not to complain or argue, just fell out the post-survey questionnaire and I was being [00:04:30] discharged in shock. I stated that I had made so much progress. I wanted to continue getting stronger. What were my options? The physical therapist said, well, I could go to the rec center. I asked, do they have any programs for my ability level and they mentioned chair yoga and silver sneakers. These classes have become my next important step in my personal fitness, but I wish they had been told to me in a more positive way.

(05:00):

[00:05:00] Ableism definitely got in the way of my physical therapy being a positive experience for both me and the physical therapist. I was measured by standards I could never meet in this lifetime and they weren't standards important to me. I wish my physical therapist had understood my critique of the survey. I wish they had congratulated me on the progress with the therapy and told me I had graduated to community exercise. I wish she had told me about the adaptive [00:05:30] classes with enthusiasm. I wish the insurance company would've validated my therapy goals instead of telling me that I had basically failed because I did not meet their high standards. This experience that started out so empowering had become embarrassing. It made me feel like I had failed at the therapy when I knew I had succeeded. I have been connected with many other disability advocates and my rights and my quality of life, but I wondered [00:06:00] about the physical therapist trained in a medical model.

(06:04):

Even though I knew better about my life, I still had to shake off this negative experience, but would the physical therapist have the awareness needed to do the same? The experience was so negative and so shocking. It made me pause to reflect the next time ableism shows up unexpectedly and so directly, will I still speak up or will I go along with it to have a nicer experience? Our biggest [00:06:30] moments of advocacy can come with little warning, but society will not continue to change if we don't continue to speak up. I hope I will speak up the next time and the time after that.

(06:43):

When someone hears the word disability, what do you think they hear?

(06:50):

When someone hears the word disabled, what do you think? They hear limitations, unable to do activities.

(07:00):

[00:07:00] I think they hear that people that have disabilities cannot understand, but we can't understand because we know exactly what to do.

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I think people think that I'm not able to do anything without somebody helping me or telling me what to do.

(07:20):

When someone hears the word disabled, I think they hear helplessness and even in some cases hopelessness

(07:30):

[00:07:30] That they're not able to accomplish anything and they can't manage anything.

(07:40):

What is one thing that you want someone to know that is not true that they may think is true about people with disabilities?

(07:52):

We are like they are. It's not just a disability. It's not just the way we look or they think we are. [00:08:00] We are like they have our own goals. We have our own thoughts, we have our own feelings, we have our own dreams.

(08:09):

What is the one thing that you want someone to know that is not true, that they may think is true about people with disabilities? We have feelings. We are capable of learning, working and living a independent

(08:29):

Life. [00:08:30] The thing that they should know about people that have disabilities, that they do have a mindset that they can do anything, that they can put their mind to

(08:45):

That anybody else can do anything and put their mind to and able to do anything they can.

(08:52):

Something that I think people think is true about people with disabilities [00:09:00] that is wrong is they look at us like we're not real people. We are. We're just like you. We love live, work, play just like you and in cases of people with physical disabilities, our disabilities aren't contagious.

(09:30):

[00:09:30] Do you think that sometimes because we access life differently, they think our life isn't real?

(09:39):

Yes. I feel like because we might walk with a white cane or speak with our hands if we can't hear or have to [00:10:00] be mobile with wheelchairs and walkers that we don't have fun, how can we possibly have fun if we can't see the world or hear the world or navigate the world like them?

(10:15):

Can you name a time when you were treated or someone assumed you could not do something?

(10:22):

When I was in school I was treated differently because? Because they're thinking I was too slow to [00:10:30] grab her hand and keep up with others. Did it hurt when they treated you differently? It hurt because my teacher didn't see me differently. He saw the rest of his students. He kind of see me as an outsider. She's too slow for my class. She's too slow to learn or she can't keep it with others because she's just way too slow for my class. Although, although I'm not slow [00:11:00] and I takes a while for being learned quicker than others, I feel like it wasn't right.

(11:07):

I was working one time and the task that I was supposed to do, the people thought that I couldn't do it, but I showed them that I could do it with a tool that helped me to learn how to do it.

(11:24):

Can you name a time when you were treated or someone [00:11:30] ashamed you could not do something? When I was in high school and the teacher would say, could someone help Josh with the coffee?

(11:43):

Since I've gotten older and my disability has changed, I notice people think even more that I should not live on my own. Something could happen. What if I'm not able to cook one night and I won't have anything to eat? Do I know how to handle [00:12:00] my money? There are a lot of things that you can get as supports. Recently I was recovering for something and I was in rehab and some of my friends had power of attorney and they automatically signed me up for different kinds of things like attorneys that help people who are elderly with disabilities and I signed all these papers when I wasn't really [00:12:30] sure what to do and then I saw that they really didn't think I could do anything anymore. I broke my leg.

(12:38):

I remember when I got out of massage therapy school and I went on one of my first interviews. It may not have been my first, but it was probably within the first five or so [00:13:00] and I realized that a lot of these employers that I speak to ask for a job in massage therapy, they don't understand that I can do the job without vision or I could work here and be an efficient employee [00:13:30] even without vision. I can learn my way around the building. I can greet my clients. I could treat my clients with respect and honor just like anyone else, even without sight.

(13:51):

Can you name a time when you felt invisible in the room and people talked about you but not to you? Does this [00:14:00] happen more than you think? People realize?

(14:03):

They ask my mom, what do Josh, like How old Josh do Josh work? My mom will ask Josh,

(14:19):

When am my immediate family saw me differently. They didn't see me differently because of my disability and they just looked at me like, okay, [00:14:30] she's way too slow. Why is she even around? I'm like, really? I's hurtful? Why would you say these kind of words? I'm one of your immediate family members. How would you say that? And it kind of hurt me because I wasn't expecting them to say it, but they just initially did it to hurt me to [00:15:00] see what my reaction was going to be when my intake was going to be about it just said it just to say it. They just said talk.

(15:12):

I think part of the reason why people don't talk to you when you come into a room where everyone doesn't have disability is they say they don't know what to say to you and it is difficult sometimes to say to them because you know that [00:15:30] that's what they're thinking. You would say the same thing to me as if I didn't have a disability at all. If you go into a room and you're kind of nervous, it's kind of like they're nervous too if no one is looking at you and sometimes you can even hear what they're saying. They'll say what happened to her and then different people will give their opinions and sometimes in the mood just to listen to it. I just want to [00:16:00] see what that is. So I've learned over the years that if I want that to change, I have to go up and start talking to them and they may feel very uncomfortable with that, but once I ask them questions about themselves, people like to talk about themselves and then they realize that we can talk.

(16:23):

I remember a time when I was at Walmart shopping and I went to [00:16:30] ask for a customer service agent to assist me in picking up my groceries and the manager went and got the young lady to help me and as soon as the young lady saw me, she turned to her manager in a, I guess what she thought, whisper and said, [00:17:00] how am I supposed to help her? She's blind. I've never helped a blind person. And my manager, her manager who was very familiar with me, told her, well, it's easy. She knows what she wants. You just hold the cart here and guide and she'll hold the cart here. And she was like, well, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I could help her. I've never done [00:17:30] this.

(17:32):

And it took me going over to her and I literally, I grabbed the cart and I was like, Hey girl, it's fine. Come on. I'm not going to bite you because I wanted her to see that I'm just like you. I'm not going to eat you. [00:18:00] I'll tell you what I want. And that's exactly what I told her. I said, I'm not going to bite you, it's fine. I said, we're going to have a good time shopping. I said, what's your name? And I could tell she was really shy. I don't remember what her name is, but I was like, I'm April. I said, this is what you do. I said, you got the cart from the front here and I'm going to hold on [00:18:30] to the handle here. And I said, the first place I need to go is produce. And within 10 minutes me and her were talking like girlfriends because it took her to see that I'm not an alien, I'm just a lady that's blind that wants to make groceries and that's it.

(18:59):

What are [00:19:00] a person's opinions or assumptions of what it means to be a person with a disability that you want to correct?

(19:07):

I am a person with feeling I know what I want.

(19:14):

I think a lot of people's personal opinion of people with disabilities that I would like to correct is that we are not helpless [00:19:30] or hopeless. A lot of us can live very fulfilling lives. A lot of us are not lonely. We're not somewhere in a nursing home getting pampered and spoon fed. A lot of us cook on our own, live on our own. [00:20:00] We date, we fall in love. We have our own children who we pamper and spoon feed. So we're just like you and a lot of us, we live lives that's fulfilling and happy for us. I've met so many people in my life that have broken [00:20:30] down in tears because they'll say, oh, I can see that you're blind. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. The way you must live is, oh my God. And they will break down in tears and I have to tell them, don't cry for me and don't be sorry for me because I'm not

(20:55):

Everyone with an opinion of voice to their own opinions [00:21:00] that matter what your disability is. If you have a disability or don't have disability, they always doing some seeking their own opinion and seeking how they feel.

(21:16):

I think it's very important for people to know that we're not inspirational or motivational just because they're things we can't do that we have tried to figure out how to do or we do it a different way. [00:21:30] I think too, it's important for them to know that that's not all of who we are, that it's okay to ask us a question like, what'd you have for dinner last night? And if I say I had serial, they may have had serial too. I also think it's really important for people to know that people with disabilities are not all alike. Just because somebody else has a disability doesn't mean that we would date [00:22:00] or doesn't mean that we would be best friends because there's more to everyone than they ever realize. They don't realize that there's more to them. So why would they know that there's more? To me, the what's bugging

(22:16):

You podcast would like to thank you for listening and we want you to come on back for another episode. Remember that people with disabilities are people first and we're awesome.