My Real Story and the Astrology Trick That Changed My Life (Super Vulnerable!)

Content Warning: religion, spiritual abuse. Today I share something I’ve never shared before. I’m actually pretty nervous to put this out there because it’s so very personal. But! This is the story that’s turned me into the astrologer I am today: someone who’s committed to amplifying your inner voice. Learn to turn the volume of your intuition all the way up in my FREE webinar! Turn Your Astrology Chart into a Clarity Machine: How to Unlock Instant Cosmic Insight with Planet Channeling is on September 22, 2025 at 3pm Eastern.

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Transcript

Hi, Astro lover. Welcome back to the Astrology with Claire Podcast. Claire Gallagher here from astrology with claire.com. I am really. Kind of nervous about today's episode. I'm going to share something about myself and my personal history today that I've never shared before, so get ready for story time.

And I am recording this exactly during the Pisces, uh, full moon lunar eclipse. So I don't know. I feel like that's significant. It's occurring in my fourth house of history and home and family and roots. So I think it's totally appropriate with what I'm gonna share today. And I want to make sure I warn you right at the beginning that.

I am gonna talk about a couple difficult topics, and I just wanna give a content warning in case you do not wanna listen to this episode, you can definitely skip it. So I am gonna be talking [00:01:00] about religion. I'm also going to be talking around, I'm not gonna give details, but I am gonna be talking around spiritual and sexual abuse as well.

So. Don't want you to listen if that's going to be upsetting for you. So turn this thing off and I'll see you next week. Otherwise, let's dive in. And the whole point of sharing this story with you is that there is something I am doing now, a practice I'm doing now, an astrology informed ritual that has completely changed my life.

And in order to fully grasp how. Life changing. This is for me. You kind of have to know where I was before this tool entered my life. So I wanna give you that whole backstory. And then I have a very important announcement at the end of the episode where I'm going to share this astrology tool where you.

All right, [00:02:00] so grab a mug of something delicious. Put your feet up or take a walk, whatever, whatever you like to do when you listen to this, and let's get started. Okay, so we need to go back to Little Claire for a minute to childhood, Claire. And it's important to set the context that I come from. A long lineage of Christian leaders, pastors, preachers, and missionaries.

This is the water that I swam in as a child. This is what I grew up knowing and understanding and speaking. I also grew up, and this is a fond memory that I have, and I think it's something that deeply resonated with me and has stuck with me for decades. I also grew, grew up watching my mother have what she called quiet time, which was early in the morning when it was still [00:03:00] dark.

She would grab her coffee, her journal, her devotional book, or Bible at. Whatever she was reading at the time, and she would commune with spirit, commune with God, and that practice was something that imprinted on me as a small child and something that I do to this day, although it looks very different from what my mother's quiet time looked like.

I was a super spiritual kid. I loved the idea of God and spirits generally. I played church and communion in my room. I also though, really loved the occult. I loved ghost stories. I loved the, uh. The kid books, um, by RL Stein. What were they called? I don't remember. But if you were a kid in the nineties and you went to those scholastic book fairs, you know exactly, um, what [00:04:00] books I'm talking about.

They were spooky, scary stories for kids, and I would make up gods and have my brother and sister worship them in the basement. I was just Okay. I was just. A weirdo, still a weirdo, but generally very imaginative and very connected to, to spirit. So that was me as a kid and very free spirited, very creative, very musical, uh, was a dancer, was a singer.

I played all sorts of instruments. I was just very much an artist when I was a kid. It is funny to think about now because I do not identify in that way at all, but it was my life back then. Capital L-I-F-E-I just was all about the creative aspect of, of life and making things. [00:05:00] So anyway, we need to fast forward quite a few years to the meat of the story.

And it started when I was 17. My parents dropped me off at university and then they promptly, I think it was the next day, got on a flight to Japan and were living there. I grew up in a military family, so my dad at the time was still active duty. And they had been stationed in Japan, so they dropped me off at college and then they left and they went overseas.

So I was essentially, there was a few family members within driving distance, but I was essentially alone in what felt like a foreign country after living overseas for much of my childhood. I lived in England multiple times, was the second time my family had moved to Japan, um, at this particular year. So I had already lived there once [00:06:00] before, and the US was just a strange and wild place to me.

I just did not feel at home here. It was shocking, to say the least. I just felt like a fish outta water. I felt very isolated and alone, and then my family was gone. So I was in a really vulnerable place and you know, with my birthday being essentially always the first day of school, I'm always the youngest or was always the youngest in my class.

So I was still only 17 at this time. So I was super vulnerable and super young. Coming from the world that I came from, I thought the best and safest way to make friends and get connected on campus was to go to a freshman girls Bible study. So I went and all was well for a few weeks. And then one night at Bible study, there was an older woman, and by older, I mean at the [00:07:00] time she was probably 10 years older than me, so in her mid twenties.

So essentially still a child, but 'cause I was so young, um, but anyway, to me she was older and wiser and she was a guest speaker. And we're gonna call her Penny from now on. That's not her name, but. Just to be kind and gracious, I'm going to call her a different name. So her name's Penny and I was enamored with Penny right away.

Penny was like no one I had ever met before. She was extremely charismatic and as they say in those circles, on fire for God, and really fascinated me for multiple reasons, and to my surprise. Penny took a special interest in me and wanted to mentor me and take me under her wing, and I [00:08:00] was really flattered and I felt super special that she wanted to spend time with me.

This nobody who was quiet a wallflower, and that's how I am in real life. If you meet me, I'm pretty reserved. So I just felt so called out and so special that she wanted to mentor me. So of course I was like on board with that. So fast forward a few months of being mentored by Penny and what that meant back in that day in a Christian circle was that we would study the Bible together.

We would meet up for coffee and. And that sort of thing. So during those months of mentorship, penny brought me into the fold of her church, which at that time didn't have its own home base. So it met at the YMCA and then later it met in a kind of old theater in the city. It was just kind of a, a [00:09:00] nomadic sort of church group.

And when I arrived there, I didn't feel uncomfortable, but I did feel like, whoa, this is the cool church. This is the vibrant place to be. And it was even pastored by three former male models. So not only was it extremely. Contemporary and modern and like had that, uh, you know, worship music that sounded like it came straight from the radio.

It also had these three beautiful men that were teaching, um, the Bible. And so you can imagine the magnetism and influence that this community had. The leadership in the church. So those three men and you know, other people in power at the church, including Penny, took notice of me before [00:10:00] long and I was as a musician, asked to lead worship in front of hundreds of people every Sunday.

So I was a key part. I became a key part of the group and was put on stage as a very young person who didn't, probably didn't need to be up there, but at the time I was extremely passionate about the work and, um, it's what I wanted to do was to, I was a vocalist and also a guitar player, so. I was plugged in and went deep real fast within this church, and at first, you know, remember my parents, they're in Japan, and so I probably talk to them, I don't know, maybe once every 10 days or so.

And at first there's no alarm from them. They're just grateful that I'm plugged into a church and that someone is looking out for me when they're so far [00:11:00] away.

But then things started to get a little sticky, so we need to fast forward a handful of years. Now, keep in mind, this whole saga probably took about 10 years of my life, maybe a little less, maybe eight. And I have blocked a lot of details. My memory. Um, my brain tries to protect me by blocking a lot of the details.

I can't remember a ton. I have about 70 journals in my storage unit that tell part of the story. Thank goodness for those. They help remind me of what really happened. But even then, I was writing in code and I'll, I'll talk about why I was doing that at the time in a little bit. But anyway, fast forward some years.

Penny had transitioned from being my spiritual mentor to being my best friend, my housemate, and my business partner. So I actually, I got a business degree in college and [00:12:00] entrepreneurship degree. And Penny, it's so hard for me to say Penny. I keep wanting to say their real name. Penny wanted to be. Yeah, basically a community missionary in this town and wanted to work and was already working with low income single mothers and their kids and connecting them with community resources like food and, and schools and transportation and, and all of that.

And I set up a nonprofit for her with my business. Know-how. And so we were in ministry together working with these families, so that was happening professionally, but we were also living in the same house, and this is when all the stuff started to go sour. Penny always wanted to know where I was and who I was with.

[00:13:00] Penny tried to separate me even further from my family by telling me that God told her I was sexually abused by a family member, which I wasn't, was not. Um, but you can imagine how confusing that was for me. I think I was maybe 21 at this time. Okay. And Penny? Inserted herself into all of my dating relationships.

Again, saying that God told her we weren't supposed to be together, we were living in sin in some way. You know, I was doing something wrong, yada, yada, yada. And as a respected church leader and community leader, and someone who I had essentially given leadership over me, I trusted her insight more than my own.

 If you've never been wrapped up in a manipulative, codependent relationship, this may seem odd to you, but if, if you have experience with this, you know how natural [00:14:00] it is to just go along with the person in power. Penny was also at times forcing me to sleep in the same bed with them, um, never letting me be by myself.

Essentially wanting to know where I was at all at all times. And to me, this is the worst part, penny read my journals and not only did she read my journals, which were. How I communicated with Spirit, and they were very tender and private to me, but she would write in them and leave me messages, quote from God.

This was a huge violation of my privacy, not only because of the obvious, but again, because journaling was how I communicated with God, how I connected with my inner voice, and I felt like that path to my inner voice had been destroyed or defiled. So as we became more and more entwined, both professionally and personally, my autonomy, [00:15:00] needless to say, was worn away and my body started to revolt and I began to get very, very sick, both physically and mentally.

I was working multiple jobs at the time. I was helping run the nonprofit, but I was also working at a cafe and working, I think at the YMCA with. Some type of childcare, not a great job for me anyway, I had to quit all those jobs because I was non-functional. I was bedridden. I couldn't get up, and so I became more and more dependent on penny.

To quote, take care of me and all of that stuff. And she essentially took the place of my mother, and my mother got really upset by this. And at this time the alarm bells were on for, for my mom and dad, and they didn't know what to do and they were still so far away. So Penny and the pastors of the church, the three beautiful [00:16:00] men, said.

Uh, essentially that I was sick because of some shortcoming or some sin that I was living in. And if you've ever been in that situation, you know, like how powerless you feel when someone says something like that to you. So Penny would regularly provoke me to, into a state of. Frenzy, I would say. It's hard to explain how she would do it, but she would, and I'm very peace loving and calm and quiet.

So to be provoked into a state of frenzy takes a lot. But Penny would routinely do this, and one night in the middle of the night. I have the exact date and time written in my journal, and it would be really interesting to cast an astrology chart for that moment. But one night [00:17:00] after Penny had provoked me into a frenzy, I had in the middle of the night what I now consider a form of a psychotic break.

But at the time in that religious environment, it was labeled as, uh, speaking in tongues. And or like a demonic possession, speaking in tongues in a demonic possession are not the same thing. So you can see how the, the lines there are blurred, but it didn't feel positive. Okay. It felt really awful. And I was like basically beating my chest, pulling my hair screaming, speaking in guttural syllables for about an hour.

I woke up all of my housemates and they were all just watching me with gaping mouths. And Penny called the pastors. They came and intervened and basically had me quit. The worship team, had me stop [00:18:00] dating, uh, my boyfriend. All of there were all these repercussions for whatever nameless sin I was committing.

And Penny took me to the doctor. And didn't just leave me to go see the doctor alone, but went into the room with me and advocated not on my behalf, but advocated for a bipolar diagnosis for me and I Wow. Um, the medication. For that, um, diagnosis made me very, very sick. I couldn't walk. I was crawling everywhere, and it made me even more dependent on Penny.

There's so much more that happened, um, including a happy ending. I'm okay today, but you know, there was a creative religious cult in another state that we became mixed up in. There was a [00:19:00] music album that I recorded that was never released because of pennies doing There was a broken engagement and more broken up romantic relationships because of Penny's jealousy and desire to keep me all to herself.

Penny improperly used the funds and donations to the nonprofit for herself, and eventually I finally figured out what was going on. Well, I figured out what was going on years before, but I finally had the bravery to leave and one day my parents came up and packed me up and we fled. And I was gone, changed my phone number, didn't tell anyone where I went.

Everything was, I just clean cut. I share this story because stories are powerful and I think we all need to share our stories, but I share this because it informs my mission as an [00:20:00] astrologer today. Which is to amplify the inner voice of my client using the symbolism of astrology.

During this decade, my inner voice was completely silenced. I had zero self-trust and the ritual of journaling and prayer and reading in the morning. My quiet time that I had learned from my mom and built up since childhood had become completely destroyed. Because it was hijacked by my abuser, by Penny, and it reminded me only of my trauma.

So I let that go and I stopped connecting with Spirit. I stopped journaling, I stopped praying. I stopped reading any spiritual texts at all, and I ran away. Basically, I moved to Portland, Oregon, and I started graduate school, not just. Uh, [00:21:00] any degree. I was like, let me get the hardest degree I could possibly imagine.

And so I started in naturopathic medical school and I didn't finish that degree obviously, um, 'cause I would be practicing medicine. But while I was there, astrology found me. And you can imagine when I became an astrologer and I went to astrology school, you can imagine how that went down for my family.

It was not an easy pill for them to swallow. And it was really confusing for me at the time. Even though I had separated myself from the church, I had cut myself off from, um, God, or source, or spirit. It was still confusing for me to be so in love with and intertwined with this system astrology that I was told was so bad and satanic and dark and all of this, um, this stuff, but I loved it.

And it felt like a [00:22:00] map back to my authentic self. And so in that way, it was really necessary at the time because I was so lost and so separated from myself. It also reminded me once I began reading my own chart, that I'm a deeply spiritual and intuitive person, and that it's part of my lifeline and my oxygen to be connected to spirit.

But I also found myself really frustrated with astrology and continue to, in some ways, as a system, um, that tells you who you are or what to do and not do. I can spot manipulation a mile away because of my experiences, and so anything that has the potential to strip me of my autonomy, I tend to instant read.

Instantly rebel against. So I became obsessed as an astrologer with figuring out how to use astrology to amplify my clients and my own inner voice instead of using it as an instruction manual [00:23:00] or like a collection of labels that boxed someone in. So I began experimenting, and this is where the astrology tool comes in.

About five years ago, I organically started talking to the planets in my journal entries, and I know that sounds really out there, but it's actually very grounded and very nurturing. I would take some time to center myself. I would bring a planet, a certain question or topic, and then I would just receive the answers with ease, and I would just write until my hand cramped and I couldn't write anymore.

It felt like during this practice that the authentic part of me that was so drenched in spirit was turned on again. I was. Like that little girl who loved to connect with God receiving insight, again, feeling connected, [00:24:00] and I felt like I had a way to receive guidance that didn't hinge on any external and potentially manipulative or unsafe people.

I was really talking to parts of myself. And calling them planets, if you will, like my inner planets. So I started at first 'cause I was nervous and I felt like I was doing something bad by talking to the planets through the title of like God of Mars, God of Venus.

And I started viewing planets as fingers or faces of God. And that helped bridge the gap for me, for someone who was very religious to, um, more secular, that that was helpful. But now I just call them by their name and I view them as wise parts of myself that I get to bring out of the shadows and, and consult with.

I used [00:25:00] this practice in secret for a really long time because I thought it was really weird. Maybe too woo and too out there to share with other people. Made me feel, um, I mean, I loved it and I did it every day, but it, it felt too tender or vulnerable to share with other people. But in 2022, I shared it publicly with a small group.

Shout out to Stellium, if you remember. And now in 2025, this journaling process has become an undeniable part of who I am as an astrologer. It's actually in my un upcoming book, and I finally named it what it is. It's called Planet Channeling, and it's a spin on automatic writing where you allow a planet, a spirit, a part of you to give you messages through your pen.

I am unsatisfied with astrology as a [00:26:00] purely mental or intellectual pursuit. It requires a lot of knowledge, a lot of skill, and a lot of thinking to use astrology, and I feel like that's a barrier to people and a way that astrology can separate people from their inner knowing or their inner wisdom. What I love about planet channeling is that it takes a.

All of these requirements down to zero, and it brings us all on this level playing field where we don't need any astrological knowledge at all. We just need an open heart and the willingness to be available. So needless to say, this planet channeling practice or this astrology informed journaling practice completely changed my life because it brought me back to my spiritual roots.

It's revived a daily spiritual practice for me, something that was so nourishing that was stolen by, um, a group [00:27:00] of misguided leaders. And it's given my astrology practice a greater mission, which is to help you amplify your inner voice using astrological symbolism. I. Love this technique so much. I believe in it so much.

It's so helpful and so nourishing and so safe that I feel like it is my path at this point to fully embrace this technique and to share it, and to use it in my practice, to use it in all my readings, to use it in all my offerings. And so I want to invite you to learn how to do it. And I have set up a free webinar.

It's called Turn Your Astrology Chart into a Clarity Machine, how to Unlock Instant Cosmic Insight With Planet Channeling. It is gonna be on September 22nd, 2025 at 3:00 PM Eastern, and you are invited. You can register [00:28:00] for free@astrologywithclear.com slash channel.

That's astrology with CAIR e.com/channel. And if you're listening to this episode after the 22nd, just head to my website. I'm sure there'll be an obvious place for you to catch the replay. You are gonna learn in this webinar what to do when astrology feels confusing and overwhelming, but you still want answers.

My now not so secret ritual for getting cosmic clarity on anything at any time. And how to turn the planets into a powerful inner guidance system without needing to know a lot of hardcore astrology. We're also going to do some live planet channeling together. So please bring your journal and an open mind and a willingness to connect to spirit and be open.

And I'm just so excited about this. I really hope you come if you're even the little, a little bit curious. This is such a [00:29:00] life changing tool. And it's so easy and it's so accessible. There are a couple things you need to know about how to do it, which I'm gonna teach you all about in this webinar. I'm gonna lay out the whole system for you, but please come, I, um, think that this is a really healing practice.

And not only that, it can give you a ton of insight on your daily life. I use this practice all the time to make decisions in my business. To create products and services, to price, products and services. I've navigated big life decisions like where to move with this practice, and I also just receive daily encouragement from the planets through planet channeling.

So it's just a really lovely way to buffer my system, to uplift myself and to feel prepared and, and taken care of throughout the day. So again, the webinar is totally [00:30:00] free. It's called Turn Your Astrology Chart into a Clarity Machine, how to Unlock Instant Cosmic Insight with Planet Channeling.

If you wanna register, it's at astrology with claire.com/channel, and it's going to be live on September 22nd, 2025 at 3:00 PM Eastern.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I know it was pretty heavy and intense. It was really quite scary for me to share this story with you. There's so much more to this story that I feel compelled to share. I'm actually feeling led to write a memoir and I don't know. Anything about writing memoir, but I have enough journals and enough Virgo data points that I could probably piece one together.

But anyway, I hope that you don't feel burdened by this, but that you feel seen, that you feel heard, that you feel inspired to explore astrology as an avenue for turning the volume of your own voice. [00:31:00] All the way up because that is the only voice in my opinion that matters. It doesn't matter what some cookie cutter astrology book says about who you are 

what matters is your voice and your connection to source, and that has become my number one mission in my astrology practice. So with that, I'm sending you lots of love, and I hope to see you at the webinar in a couple weeks. Bye.