SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of If Not Now When by Yar Shulie, Harry Champagne. Hello, hello, hello, lovelies. Hi. I know it's been quite a while since I have recorded an episode. Again, just been behind the scenes trying to figure out what I really want to do. As you guys know, I've been posting way more shorts on YouTube now, right? And again, that's if not not when by Aerie Champagne on YouTube. You can go check my shorts out. So I'm starting to get more active on camera. Like I said before, I just I've always wanted to pivot to this towards this way. But again, I just had to build up the time, the courage, and everything like that. You know, like I said, for me, it's the real deal. Like I'm putting my face, my image on a public platform. I don't take that too lightly. So again, I just have to build up the courage and the time and you know, figure out. But anyway, yeah, like so you guys who, you know, are seeing me or listening to me, excuse me, on Spotify or iHeartRadio or any other platform that I'm behind the wall, you can check out YouTube. These are also recorded on there, but I post more shorts now, um, meaning short for short form content on YouTube. Again, it's under if not now, when by Aerie Champagne or at the Aerie Champagne. So um today, as the title shows, we're gonna be talking about comparison. We're gonna be talking about comparison, envy versus jealousy, and how you know these are all obviously different things, but they're still tied into one. So um my statement is seeing other people ask competition creates growth, yet destroys your individualism. So the reason I uh say this is because you know, uh comparison is not really a bad thing. I've always seen comparison as something that again, you you are then comparing yourself, hopefully, right, to someone better, to someone greater, to someone more established, more beautiful, whatever that case may be, right? So you're usually most people compare themselves upward, right? Um, so meaning, right, most people want that upward mobility in life, most people want to do better, want to be more beautiful, more fit, more whatever, right? Most people want to shift forward or upward. So the reason I say, you know, comparison is not always a bad thing, especially if you are doing it in a uh healthy, respectful manner, right? For instance, I literally uh I believe I personally believe Mia Long is like one of the most beautiful women on the planet, right? Do I necessarily compare myself to her? No. But I see her and her beauty and her phenotype, and I literally think she's just the most beautiful, especially Mia Long in the 90s when I was just when I was just a little young and oh my god. Anyway, so but even then, like even now, like in her what is she, like 50s, 60s, and she literally still looks so beautiful, so youthful. Mia Long is literally one of the most beautiful women ever that have ever seen. Also, uh Tika Sumter, she is also an actress. I believe she's more of like a um a sea list or A-less actress. Um she's she is popular, but just not as popular, obviously, as Mia Long. But Tika Sumter as well. Oh my god, absolutely gorgeous. So for me, I can see myself comparing myself, my beauty rather, right, to those women because again, I believe they are beautiful. We are almost, if not the same skin tone, the same skin tone of these ladies, right? We're kind of all the same um ethnic background, black, African American, you know what I mean? So again, it just makes sense. So this is what I mean when I say compare, you have to compare in an honest and respectful way, right? If I got down here saying, oh, I compare myself to Beyonce or Alicia Keys, then you have every right to be like, okay, so but your phenotype is completely different than those women. Like, what are you comparing exactly? So that's where the envy comes in because again, envy is the state of to desire what someone else possesses. I don't envy Beyoncé, I don't envy Alicia Keys. I'm very much happy of who I am and what I am and my own phenotype and um the things that I have, right? So again, we just need to uh, you know, just just think more about you know what you are exactly comparing yourself to. We live on this day and age of social media where everyone is comparing, whether or not you want to admit it or not, you're comparing yourself day by day by day. Everyone is, we all are, and again, it's not a bad thing, again, for the fellas, right? The men. I know I have men on here. Men, if you if you're also a podcaster, if you're also a content creator, right? You're comparing yourself to let's see, Joe Rogan. Or um, geez, I can't think of any male influencers right now. That's kind of sad. Because I mean, obviously, I'm not in the male, like male sphere. Like, I don't okay, if not maybe the guy who produces soft white underbelly, right? Okay, look at his production. Or um Jesus Christ, I feel so crazy right now, right? But you you understand what I'm saying. Like, it's okay to compare yourself to the greatest people, the up, you know, same the upward, um kind of the upward um thing or upward um anyway, you you are allowed, is what I'm trying to say. You know, I'm saying you are absolutely allowed to compare yourself. Oh, there's also a really great creator, you guys. You y'all know I'm like I'm like a weirdo. I'm like in this whole like I'm I'm a spiritual woman. I see. There's a content creator, his name is Immortal Minds, the conscious nomad. Oh my god, a literally he is so again for the fellas, for the fellas that want to tap into this more spiritual realm, get more to your godhood, get more to your king kind of spirit or essence. Men I suggest you please go follow Immortal Minds. You have not sent you, but again, I'm not subscribed. I don't think I've subscribed to him. I just I I came across this content a few years back, and ever since I was just like, oh, like he's he's dope. But again, immortal minds, right? So comparing yourself is not always a bad thing, and um, in fact, in some degree, maybe you should, right? Obviously, I'm not saying literally compare yourself and try to become somebody, somebody else, and want to trade life to someone else and all these things. That that right there is just unhealthy. It's not, it leaves no place for individuality, and we'll get there. Um, but absolutely comparing yourself to who you want to be or eventually become or be similar to, I think that's fairly healthy. And I think that's honestly fairly uh natural, normal human uh thing to do. Um, so now the reason why I say it destroys individualism because again, you still have to, like I said before, know who you are, who right? The things that you cannot change. I cannot change necessarily my skin tone unless I go get it bleached and do crazy things to it that it just doesn't make sense, right? I can't change my race. I can't, right? You can't change the things that you're dealt with. I can't change that I naturally have curly hair, it's awesome, it's beautiful. I can't change that I have naturally dark brown eyes, right? So the things obviously you can't change, you just can't change it. So this is why I said before when I'm going back to who I compare my beauty to is Miss Tika Sumter and Neil Long, right? Those women have the same things that we cannot change anything about one another. But again, if I was to compare myself to Beyonce or Alicia Keys or somebody else who completely is different, a different phenotype than me, maybe they're still our black one, but they're completely different phenotype, it just wouldn't make any sense. And I then will be losing my individualism. Um, I think a lot of women, I know for a fact that a lot of women struggle with identity and identity, identity politics. Um, it is a huge thing in our community, and for whatever reason, you know, well, I know why, obviously, like I'm saying right now, it is a lot of comparison, it's a lot of jealousy and envy for that matter. Um, but once you become to get comfortable, you know, and who you are, and you you start to embrace right your differences, you start to embrace your own phenotype. You then just realize, like, oh my god, there's literally no one else like me. Oh my god, right? Curly hair people are what, how many percent? Small percent of the population have naturally curly hair, right? Like certain things you just gotta really go down a rabbit hole and dive deeper into and realize, like, oh like I am a monomaly, right? I am one of a kind, right? I'm not saying speaking generally with dark brown eyes for um uh brown and black people, right? That's kind of a genetic thing that we just all possess, but majority possess. Um but more so, right? Whatever who whatever your own individual beauty is, right? Maybe you have a certain nose that is a bloodline generation of your of your of your bloodline, right? What what they used to call the Jackson 5 nose, right? Big old strong noses. Okay, that's that's part of your bloodline, that's part of your um genetics, hereditary, all right. You know, embrace it. So there's certain things um that I know for a fact as women we kind of want to uh overlook. We also want to maybe bypass because again, this metaverse, this online talk, and this online kind of way of comparing, you gotta understand you are still yourself. This is why certain times of my life, I try everything that I can to stand up and still be an individual, you know what I mean? Like I know in my early in my mid-20s, I would uh cut bangs every fall. Like I just no matter what, once when it started to get more cooler out and more fall, I would cut bangs in my hair. I don't know why. That was just my statement piece. Um, and honestly, bangs look freaking awesome on me. So again, right, but I was creating my own thing, my own individual, right, beauty for what I wanted to present as. And again, every year, because they will obviously grow over the years, um, year in and year out. They would my bangs were gross, but I would just continue, I would just cut it. I would cut it. And so I think a lot of women now, we don't want to be, we don't want to see ourselves as individuals. We all kind of want to have the one standard. Um, especially as you guys know, you know, as a black woman, right? In our in the black woman community, there's this whole pressure of wearing, you know, the certain wigs or lace fronts or whatever the case may be. You do what you want to do. But again, if we if if every other woman looks like that, then there's no individuality to it. This is why when certain women, especially black women, embrace their natural curly hair, whatever, it's seen as like, oh, what? Like, huh? Like something's awesome to change. And it shouldn't be that way. Like there should be no visceral um altered reaction. It should just be, oh, okay, she's wearing her natural hair, cool.

unknown 12:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

But unfortunately, we don't live in that world right now, we don't live in that society, right, where we embrace individualism. And I feel like this is this is a huge part of why you know a lot of people are so miserable. Because you're not focused on your own individual power, your own individual glory, right? My short form content and what it is that I'm building right now for you for the ladies who want to eventually book calls with me, uh, because I'm still building up the website. You know, we're gonna speak about your own internal authority, rest restoring that, right? Getting back to who you were as an individual. You don't need to look on the internet and want to compare yourself. You don't need to alter yourself to look like something that you never.