It's Me - Hi - I'm the Problem

Join Kaweah in this intimate episode of 'Integrated Healer Science Soul, and Spirit' as she explores the concept of self-accountability in our relationships. By sharing a personal story, she sheds light on how subconscious self-worth wounds can sabotage our connections with others. Kaweah provides actionable steps for identifying toxic patterns, challenging limiting beliefs, and fostering open communication. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility as key to breaking harmful cycles and cultivating healthier, more authentic relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:27 The Episode's Theme: Accountability and Growth
01:05 Personal Story: Recognizing Self-Worth Wounds
02:17 Understanding Self-Worth Wounds
03:17 Taking Responsibility and Breaking Cycles
04:34 Steps to Healing and Growth
05:45 Rewriting Your Narrative
06:54 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript

0:00

Hi everyone. And welcome back to the integrated healer science soul, and spirit. I'm Kaweah, your host and guide on this journey of exploring the intricate web of science, soul and spirit. As we heal, grow, and transform together. Today. I want to dive deep into something that's been on my mind and heart for a while. Something very raw, very vulnerable and incredibly real. This episode is titled. I'm the problem. Now before you roll your eyes or start feeling uncomfortable, I'm not here to wallow in guilt or shame. This is about accountability, growth and unearthing the subconscious cycles. We sometimes. Don't even realize we're trapped in. It's about looking in the mirror with compassion and saying, wow, maybe I've been my own worst enemy in certain areas of my life. Let's talk about the toxic cycles that we bring into relationships. Especially the ones rooted in self-worth wounds. Because if we're being honest, we've all been there. I know I have. So, let me start with a personal story. I've often found myself in relationships where the same issues keep popping up. Mistrust defensiveness or constant need to prove my worth. At first, it was easy to blame the other person. And to be honest, that's what I did often. I would say things like they don't understand me, or they're not meeting my needs or they're too demanding. Even if it was subconscious in the back of my mind. But after enough time and enough heartache, I realized that the common denominator in all of these experiences was ultimately me. And let me tell you that was a bitter pill to swallow. It took a lot of reflection to see how my self worth wounds were driving these behaviors. Subconsciously I was sabotaging relationships because deep down. I didn't feel like I deserve to be loved unconditionally. I would push people away, test their patients or overcompensate by trying to be perfect. It was exhausting for me and for them. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, I want you to know that you are not alone. And there's a way through this. So let's break it down. What is a self-worth wound. For many of us, these wounds start early in life. Maybe you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional. You had to achieve something in order to earn affection or you were criticized more than celebrated. Maybe you experienced neglect or rejection that made you feel not good enough. As children, we internalize these messages and they become the foundation of how we view ourselves. So fast forward to adulthood and these subconscious beliefs can show up in our relationships. We might cling too tightly. Or push people away. We might settle for less than we deserve, because we're afraid of being abandoned or rejected. And that is the story for a lot of us. But here's the kicker. These behaviors are not always conscious. They're survival mechanisms. Your brain is trying to protect you from pain, but in doing so, it often creates more of the very thing that you fear. Now, this is where the tough love comes in. It's not about blaming yourself or beating yourself up, but it is about taking responsibility for your part in that dynamic. So here's a question I'd like for you to consider. How am I contributing to the cycles? I want to break. Well, let me say that again. This one's pretty powerful. How am I contributing to the cycles that I want to break? For me, it started with acknowledging my triggers. When I felt dismissed or criticized, I would lash out or shut down. Instead of communicating my feelings, I would assume the worst about my partner. Because that's what my inner child expected. And to be completely honest, the chaos was more comfortable and familiar. Then the stable, secure love that I was seeking. But here's the thing. That wasn't fair to them. And it wasn't fair to me either. Taking responsibility means pausing to examine your reactions. It means asking yourself, is this really about the present situation? Or is it about an old wound being reopened? When you start to answer that question, honestly, you're taking the first step towards breaking the cycle. Now getting into the healing part, healing does not happen overnight. It is a process. But the first and most crucial step is awareness. So I'm going to give you a couple of steps. The first step, notice your patterns start journaling or meditating on your triggers. What situations tend to bring out your toxic behaviors? Challenge your beliefs. Ask yourself. Is it true that I am unworthy of love. Spoiler alert. It's not. But sometimes we need to dig deep to see that. Communicate openly. Share your struggles with your partner or a trusted friend. Vulnerability can be really scary. That's actually something that a lot of couples struggle with. But it's also incredibly freeing. Seek support. Whether it's therapy, coaching energy work. Having someone guide you through this journey can make a world of difference. Personally, I've found that integrating both science and spiritual practices has been super transformative. And I worked with a coach for almost a year. Now we focus on rewriting our narrative. Words are spells. What you tell yourself comes true is true. How you feel about yourself. So once you've built that awareness, it's time to rewrite your narrative, instead of saying, I'm the problem start saying I'm taking steps to heal. Instead of thinking I'll never be good enough. Remind yourself. I am worthy of love and connection just as I am. And instead of sabotaging your relationships begin to nurture them by showing up authentically. Be willing to apologize when you've hurt someone. Be open to repairing trust and most importantly, be patient with yourself as you learn and grow. So let's circle back. Admitting I'm the problem. Isn't about dwelling in shame. It's about embracing your power to create change. When you take responsibility for your own healing. You set yourself free. And that freedom allows you to show up as your truest, most loving self in all of your relationships. That's all for today. Thank you for listening and being part of this journey with me. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Share your story with me, reach out or leave a review. And if you're ready to dive deeper into your own healing, check out my coaching services at. Coaching with Kaweah on Instagram. Together, we can unravel the layers and rewrite your story. Until next time. Take care of yourself, be kind to your heart. And remember. You are worthy.