Why Smart Women Podcast
Welcome to the Why Smart Women Podcast, hosted by Annie McCubbin. We explore why women sometimes make the wrong choices and offer insightful guidance for better, informed decisions. Through engaging discussions, interviews, and real-life stories, we empower women to harness their intelligence, question their instincts, and navigate life's complexities with confidence. Join us each week to uncover the secrets of smarter decision-making and celebrate the brilliance of women everywhere.
Why Smart Women Podcast
Bonus Ep: Is Annie ‘Burnt Out’ or just annoyed?
Ever found yourself seething over a too-small purse or cursing the universe for lost keys? You're not alone. Annie McCubbin's delightful rant about "Things That Annoy Annie" takes an unexpected turn from everyday frustrations to a sharp critique of our burnout culture.
Join Annie and her husband David for a more relaxed, behind-the-scenes chat. It’s the stuff that doesn’t always make it into the main pod — candid convos, sharp takes, a few laughs, and plenty of honest thinking. Think less structured, more real. If you enjoy the main show, you’ll love hearing these two bounce off each other in a more personal, unfiltered way.
🙋♀️ Meet with Annie - go.oncehub.com/AnnieMcCubbin
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Oh my god, you're lecturing me. Oh my god, no, I'm not lecturing you.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to distill your sage piece of advice, your why Smart Woman wisdom.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, and I thought that that's where you were headed. I'm sorry. No, that's okay. Don't apologise. You are listening to the why Smart Women podcast, the podcast that helps smart women work out why we repeatedly make the wrong decisions and how to make better ones. From relationships, career choices, finances, to faux fur, jackets and kale smoothies. Every moment of every day, we're making decisions. Let's make them good ones. I'm your host, annie McCubbin, and, as a woman of a certain age, I've made my own share of really bad decisions. Not my husband. I don't mean him, though, but I did go through some shockers to find him, and I wish this podcast had been around to save me from myself. This podcast will give you insights into the working of your own brain, which will blow your mind. I acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which I'm recording and you are listening on this day Always was, always will be, aboriginal land. Well, hello, smart women, and welcome to this week's bonus episode, where I am here with David, my partner.
Speaker 2:Good morning.
Speaker 1:And this week we're going to discuss things that annoy Annie, and there is a multiplicity of things that annoy me.
Speaker 2:Are we going to be able to fit that into a single podcast?
Speaker 1:No, I think things that annoy Annie. It's going to have to be, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It could be a spin-off it could be an entire series.
Speaker 1:It's been an entire series, so the thing that annoyed me this morning was that I lost my keys.
Speaker 2:That's annoying.
Speaker 1:To our new apartment, the fob which the company Meritan wants to charge me a lot of money to get it replaced. So the fob's gone. The front door key's gone, the key to the office that we do trainings in is gone.
Speaker 2:They're very expensive to make you know those fobs.
Speaker 1:The plastic.
Speaker 2:But it still annoys you.
Speaker 1:Anyway, and I lost it, and the thing that really annoys me is that I'm not a loser in the most literal sense of the word.
Speaker 2:I don't like. You lose things all the time, don't you? What, what Well you do.
Speaker 1:You've got to Well no, you just happen to remember. It's not confirmation bias. Don't go there, you remember every time I lose something?
Speaker 2:How?
Speaker 1:many times a day. Do you go?
Speaker 2:do you know where my Well, yeah, yeah, but that's not lost, it's just it's seeking to relocate it in the environment.
Speaker 1:I'm not the one that loses things. It sort of doesn't fit with my identity, but I don't want to talk about that.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's a really interesting thing to talk about.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:How important that notion of identity is to you, because I do know that it's important to you that in this relationship, I'm the one who loses things.
Speaker 1:And I help you find them. I am the finder. I'm the finder, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are the finder, and you are also the one who never loses things. I did, and so I think that gives you a great sense of comfort when that narrative appears to be supported by reality. But the thing is, I haven't lost the fob or the keys yet no, I know. And I haven't. You know when was the last time I really lost anything major?
Speaker 1:Oh, come on.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, there you go. You've got that assumption that recently I have lost something important.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I would put it to you that you've just got a story in your head that I lose stuff all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do lose stuff all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, what was the last thing I lost?
Speaker 1:Your phone.
Speaker 2:No, I've got my phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's because I helped you find it.
Speaker 2:No, you didn't help me find it. I used the beeping thing on the watch.
Speaker 1:Keys, your keys.
Speaker 2:No, your keys.
Speaker 1:No Keys in the truck. Anyway, I don't want to talk about that. So you're moving on because reality doesn't support your narrative. Anyway, I'm going to God. The weather is horrible today in Sydney, Australia. Anyway, here's the thing that I'm really annoyed.
Speaker 2:That was a safe topic, isn't it?
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what I'm really annoyed about? Oh, apart from the losing of the keys oh, that's what I was really annoyed about, apart from the losing of the keys. Oh, that's what I was telling you. So then I bought this little purse. I went back down to the mall and I got a little purse and I thought I'm going to put it on the lanyard because I've lost the lanyard. I love the lanyard.
Speaker 2:Then I'm going to put the purse I want to commend you for that, because when you do sort of habitually lose track of things, it's good to have a tool like a lanyard or a little chain or an air tag. Did you think?
Speaker 1:about maybe putting an air tag on your lanyard. I'm going to just block you from my vision so I can speak to my nice listeners. Anyway, I went down to the mall and I bought a little purse that I could attach to the lanyard. I could put the card in my Opal card so when I get on the bus I don't have to scrabble around in my wallet and because, as you know, I have very bad, makes me feel very young, but I do have, I'm gorgeous to look at, but I do have arthritis in my fingers. Anyway, and anyways, I bought this purse and I go home. I was really happy about it, that's very good.
Speaker 1:I got the little, the little opal card out today and it doesn't fit in the purse.
Speaker 2:It doesn't fit in the purse.
Speaker 1:And I even tried to bend the card, which is a dumb thing to do, and I'm tried to bend the car, which is a dumb thing to do. Now I've got to take the purse back anyway, you found that annoying. I was so annoyed by that that I was sweating. And it's cold today I'm still sweating from the annoyance.
Speaker 2:Do you sweat when you get annoyed? What?
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure I do, don't you?
Speaker 2:Not that I notice what. Okay, so annoyed it's a physiological thing.
Speaker 1:You've got some arousal I sweat.
Speaker 2:It's been such a long time that I've ever been annoyed. You know, since I've been annoyed with somebody, I can't really remember.
Speaker 1:Or is that because you're like Jesus? Is that because you're just the most calm Buddha-like? Pick any religious icon. You're what Like Jesus in your.
Speaker 2:What Equanimous?
Speaker 1:You're equanimous and compassionate. You're equanimous. You're equanimous and compassionate. You're annoyed and I'm equanimous. Yeah, yeah, like I lose stuff and you never lose stuff. Yeah, yeah. So the equanimous Jesus, like David, never sweats.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tuck my head up now, anyway the thing I really wanted to talk about and I got distracted. That's dangerous ground people claiming that they don't sweat. Oh yeah that's right, that's right that they don't sweat.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's right, that's right, good point.
Speaker 2:I sweat, Andrew. Yeah, we all sweat.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So back to what is actually annoying me, apart from the little thing about the purse that doesn't fit my card is burnout. You're annoyed by burnout. I'm annoyed about burnout now being a thing Really yeah Well, that's Well. Burnout being a thing Really yeah Well, that's Well. Burnout, it's everywhere right. And guess what? Someone has burnout.
Speaker 2:Yes, purportedly.
Speaker 1:Supposedly Right.
Speaker 2:You don't believe in burnout.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't believe in the term burnout, because guess who's going to help people with burnout?
Speaker 2:Who's going to help people with burnout?
Speaker 1:Wellness.
Speaker 2:Wellness Gabby Bernstein.
Speaker 1:Gabby Bernstein.
Speaker 2:You'll have her.
Speaker 1:Gabby Bernstein is. I'll get on to Gabby Bernstein because she's also really annoyed me, but burnout is going okay. So right, it's the new term. Right, it's the new term is burnout. It's like triggered is another term which irritates me, anyway. So now what's happening is people have burnout.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there may be some listeners who have experienced burnout.
Speaker 1:No, they haven't experienced burnout. They have experienced stress. They could be anxious, they could be depressed, they could have a whole lot of really stressful things going on in their life. They could be in the wrong job, they could have a toxic boss. There could be a whole lot of things going on in their life. They could be in the wrong job, they could have a toxic boss.
Speaker 2:There could be a whole lot of things going on, yes, and now it's been put in the burnout bucket. Well, isn't it in the burnout bucket when you've got all of those things going on and it's like when it's extreme, when it's like extreme and those stresses are unrelenting, that the nervous system. Are you looking up burnout on your phone right now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm really irritated by it.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course, all it is is a bucket, and once something goes into the bucket, here we go Right, here we go. Burnout Symptoms risk factors, prevention, treatment burnout syndromes causes.
Speaker 2:So there's got to be something legitimate about burnout. It's not legitimate.
Speaker 1:Occupational burnout is a syndrome that occurs when chronic workplace stress is not managed effectively. It is often described as an inability to cope with psychological stress at work due to insufficient resources. Burnout can manifest in a range of symptoms, including emotional and physical responses. Emotional symptoms feeling depleted, worn out, discouraged or cynical, a negative attitude towards work, decreased satisfaction or feeling isolated. Yes, what's new about that? That's not new, is it? I mean, if you have got, if you're working in a workplace environment that is not supportive and you're under-resourced, like you in the hospital system, right, they're constantly under-resourced right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, many, many workplaces, that's right. When you say the medical system, I mean these young doctors who I'm still sweating from the purse incident.
Speaker 1:Go on Hopefully.
Speaker 2:I shouldn't take it personally. I'm not sweating from the purse incident. Go on. Hopefully I shouldn't take it personally. I'm not annoying you at the moment. You actually were really annoying me at the beginning of this, with your blabbing on about it.
Speaker 1:That actually made me worse, with you blabbing on, it made you sweat more. I'm sorry about that, it's all right, also my eye's watering, anyway, go on, okay, so. I'm not saying people Burnout.
Speaker 2:That's right, those young doctors, those young doctors who do like they work in emergency for 24 hours straight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're having a horrible, horrible time.
Speaker 2:Well, but can't we call that burnout? No?
Speaker 1:we're not going to call it burnout, because burnout is now a thing. Okay, it's a new thing in a new bucket. And then what's going to happen with burnout is alternative medicine and wellness is going to step into the breach and it's going to start offering supplements for burnout. It's going to start offering meditation practices for burnout. It's going to start offering yoga for burnout. It's going to start offering meditation practices for burnout. It's going to start offering yoga for burnout. It's going to start offering mindfulness for burnout. It's going to be. It's annoying, because burnout is just a constellation of symptoms that have been here forever. Right, and now we've decided to focus it and put it into one spot and then we call it something.
Speaker 1:And then wellness is going to step in and start saying are you burnt out? Because what you need is this supplement, because it's going to da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 2:Yeah, burnout, that feels familiar. Yeah, and maybe if someone could help me with that then I'd be okay.
Speaker 1:And what are the five symptoms? Helplessness, cynicism, sense of failure or self-doubt, decreased satisfaction, feeling detached or alone in the world, loss of motivation.
Speaker 2:What does that sound like? That sounds like me. That sounds like me last year, when I was feeling rather burnt out.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, so hang on a second.
Speaker 2:Hang on a second.
Speaker 1:Yes, you were feeling burnt out.
Speaker 2:Come on, let's map this conversation out a little bit. I mean, surely you expect that those symptoms that you've described, there's a spectrum of them.
Speaker 1:Of course there is.
Speaker 2:And there would be some people who would actually need a therapy. They would need a treatment.
Speaker 1:Fine, go to a therapist. Perfect. Go to see a psychologist and deal with the fact Right.
Speaker 2:No, but the thing that you sound to be annoyed about is the people who don't actually have a you know.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying people don't have those symptoms, they do.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You did have that last year.
Speaker 2:But you don't like. Which was a bit annoying but anyway, well, sorry, sorry, sorry. I felt isolated and alone and hopeless. Well, I was here, yeah, I know. Well, you can say sorry for that as well. Oh, you're walking on as I was approaching burnout.
Speaker 1:You just got annoyed with me, I do, I don't like it oh.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to sweat now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go on, go on Okay.
Speaker 2:I think the thing that you're taking aim at at the moment is the tendency for people to put a label on ordinary responses to life, elevate it to something called burnout, which then needs a wellness influencer to give you a Correct that is very, very.
Speaker 1:May I say that is a very, very pithy description of my current annoyance. That's very good. Oh, thank you, that's all right Because of course, people are experiencing a sense of helplessness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course people, and that's terrible.
Speaker 1:It's terrible, but what we need to do as I have frequently said in the past with one of my other pearls of wisdom is that often in these situations at work and this has happened a lot what they do is they roll out wellness programs so that employees can do some yoga at lunchtime or they can learn some breathing techniques. Fine, it's all fine, except that what is often the problem is not to do with the individual right that is going to learn more self-management techniques so they can be more productive. The problem is structural. It is not down to the individual to sort it out for themselves, to go and get a supplement or learn some sort of emotional management technique. No, it's to do with the structure of the business the person is working in and the fact that too much is asked for them. They don't have the power to enact their job correctly and they are under resourced yeah I'm not saying people don't bring their own emotionality to a situation.
Speaker 2:So you're saying that if, say, someone's job description puts them in a position where they're being held accountable for results and they actually don't have the autonomy to be able to decide how those results are created, then that's the problem and a breathing technique is not going to fix that for them.
Speaker 1:That is right, Okay, so let's just say me, Annie, I'm working in a, let's say, a financial organisation and I have been given the job of what?
Speaker 2:What Keeping a particular high maintenance client happy?
Speaker 1:Exactly Okay, exactly so.
Speaker 2:That's my job, that's right, and when the client gets unhappy, you get stressed Yep. When the client gets unhappy, the net promoter score drops. So there's all this pressure on you to keep this person happy.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And you spend late nights doing this person happy Yep. And you spend late nights, you know, doing things for them, Yep.
Speaker 1:You know you change your routine in order to accommodate what it is, and what's happening to me while that's so, while this is happening, while I'm dealing with this client.
Speaker 2:You're probably sweating a lot. That's probably happening to you, I'm probably Prince Andrewing.
Speaker 1:No, he doesn't sweat, does?
Speaker 2:he.
Speaker 1:So I'm sweating, I no, he doesn't sweat, does he so? I'm sweating. I'm tired, I'm very tired. I feel a sense of hopelessness. I'm cynical about my job.
Speaker 2:I'm all the things that are going to put. I'm trapped.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'm starting to have a spike in anxiety. I could even be getting depressed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay.
Speaker 1:And this is the situation I am in. That's a big emotional stew. That's a big emotional stew I'm in and maybe my outputs are dropping. I'm not doing as well as I could.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, performance review time.
Speaker 1:Performance review time comes, and then they say and then I'm not meeting my KPIs.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Or that's not happening. And then someone can say to me you've probably got burnout. And then I could go and they could suggest I go on a retreat, or they could suggest that I take a supplement, or they could suggest that I take up a lunchtime yoga session to manage this stress that I'm under.
Speaker 2:Okay. So what might be the rationale for recommending those kind of courses of action? Because you know there's an intuitive sense about that. Like if you did do yoga or some breathing techniques, then the stress of it wouldn't go undealt with.
Speaker 1:To a certain degree it's going to help. But what's actually happened is perhaps I'm too young to be dealing with that client, perhaps I'm under-resourced, perhaps I've been put onto another matter and I don't have time to devote this. So the issue is structural, not to do with my response, and this notion of we're all just, we have to just endlessly do self-improvement work on ourselves is really annoying me. And can we just take burnout out of the lexicon and stop talking about it?
Speaker 1:It's not going to happen. You watch it peaked, I think, I think. When did burnout come into the lexicon Around COVID? I think it's everywhere now. You burnt out. Take this supplement. So the God my eye's watering a lot. Go on.
Speaker 2:So I think the problem that you're describing is that when people use a sort of a general catch-all like burnout- yes and they take their attention to, as you say, the supplements or the breathing techniques or the corporate retreats or something like that, in order to fix the burnout.
Speaker 2:What it does. It distracts you from actually moving towards the real solution, which would be structural, which is, if I'm accountable for keeping this customer happy, then I actually have autonomy, or I have the capacity to be able to choose, um, to do things that will actually change the customer's expectation. You know, I've got the power to to give the customer what they want, or the power to give the customer to somebody who can give them what they want. I'm not stuck in this helpless position that's right.
Speaker 1:So that's right, so it's set up to fail that's right. So, and maybe what happens is I go to my manager or you know whoever the partner if I'm a lawyer, okay, is this the performance review? No, no, and I say, look, this is happening at the moment. This is what I'm experiencing.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And instead of dealing with it, they'll just say I think that she's burnt out.
Speaker 2:Yes, you're suffering from burnout at the moment. Why don't you go for a walk at lunchtime every day? Do some yoga.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why don't I do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is my, so like I'm not saying that our emotional reactivity isn't significant, because of course it is, but it's not the whole picture, right yes like me this morning.
Speaker 1:Let's take me, for example, with this purse that I bought after losing the keys so that I could have easy access to the pass when I get on the bus. And then I find it doesn't bus, and then I find it doesn't work. That is a minor inconvenience, is it not, in a world that is currently tilting in pretty dangerous directions. But I did not manage my emotional reaction to that at all. Well, I got really annoyed. I couldn't get it off the lanyard. I put it on the lanyard. I couldn't get it off the lanyard. I put it on the lanyard. I couldn't get it off the lanyard. I was sweating, I was annoyed. You know. I spoke to the dog Gruffly and he's got a sore paw.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:I said get off the bed. Are you sitting on my other purse?
Speaker 2:I said that to him to Ryder yes, he's got one of the head. I said get off the bed. Are you sitting on either purse? Yes, it's a necessary way to speak to the dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you know, I mean, sometimes when people are experiencing burnout they do get a bit rough. So I was burnt out by the purse, so I could have managed that much better. I could have actually gone. You could have I could have, but I didn't. It's the purse's fault, it's the guy that sold me the purse.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I said well, this fit a card, and he said yes.
Speaker 2:Annie.
Speaker 1:I'm annoyed at that guy.
Speaker 2:Have you ever tried curcumin?
Speaker 1:Okay, it's anti-inflammatory?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it sounds like your nervous system is inflamed at the moment. Yeah, I'm going to send you an article on burnout.
Speaker 1:See if I can take some turmeric.
Speaker 2:And maybe that'll fix it.
Speaker 1:Okay, we are joking about the curcumin turmeric. This is the catch-all for any inflammatory response. Currently in the alt-med environment is turmeric. Also, let me just say this Anybody that is taking fish oil be very, very, very careful, because the amount of it's slippery if you drop it. The amount of contaminants and lack of oversight in the manufacture and selling of fish oils is extraordinary, and what we'll do is we'll put a link in the show notes from Nick Tiller about the problem with fish oils and there's also very, very little evidence.
Speaker 1:It does anything as per.
Speaker 2:It's unregulated. Okay, so you've scampered off into one of your favourite topics.
Speaker 1:I'm annoyed about it.
Speaker 2:Having a crack at an unregulated supplement.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm really annoyed about it.
Speaker 2:But if we go back to your annoyance with the purse, it's really annoying. The point of this whole conversation is that when you're getting annoyed, don't misappropriate the feeling that you have to just burn out, because that keeps you kind of trapped in an echo chamber of I need to fix my burnout when actually what you needed to do was something very practical and concrete, which is to measure the size of your Opal card.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, You're lecturing me. Oh my God, You're lecturing me. Oh my God, no, I'm not lecturing you.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to distill your sage piece of advice, your why smart woman wisdom. Okay, I guess the thing is, and I thought that that's where you were headed. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No, that's okay. Don't apologize, do apologize.
Speaker 2:Don't apologize, I've done already.
Speaker 1:No, the thing is that sometimes, sometimes, it is our reactivity to a situation that is causing us to what Sweat, to be annoyed, to be outraged, to have the symptoms of burnout.
Speaker 2:You know I'm helpless, I can't fix this. That's not burnout. Anyway, I have the symptoms of burnout you know I'm helpless, I can't fix this.
Speaker 1:That's not burnout. Anyway, I get what you're saying. The thing is that trying to discern when our emotional reaction is actually causing us harm, because, like this morning, you know, I spent 20 minutes in a highly agitated state unnecessarily- About the purse, about the purse, okay, yeah. And I feel bad about saying that to the dog.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Have you fed the dogs?
Speaker 2:Yes, I have. Okay, I've walked the dogs, fed the dogs.
Speaker 1:You're very good with the dogs. The dog hurt his paw, the dog got glass in his paw, he's had to have stitches, he had to have an anesthetic, anyway. So sometimes that's the case. Now, sometimes, as you go through your day, you're going to have a reaction to something and you can look at that reactivity and really analyze is the situation warranting that level of emotional response?
Speaker 2:Yes, right, fine. Is there more drama in this than is necessary? Correct, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Sometimes in a situation, you may be at work and there is an ongoing situation that actually you don't have a lot of control over and it is causing you a large emotional reaction. Part of that is your emotional reaction and part of it is the environment we are in is more important than we give it credit for.
Speaker 2:Right, you're talking about the external environment.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:So this is the water that we're swimming around in.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:So if the water is too hot, if we're swimming around in water that is too hot, then that is obviously going to have an impact on our nervous system. That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And when that's the case, no amount of work on your nervous system Breathing, yoga supplements, retreats Is going to change the fact that the water is really hot. That's right.
Speaker 2:Or to be more, I guess, literal, that the culture is toxic, correct? Or that the team is under-resourced, correct? Or that the team is under-resourced, correct? Or that people are being made responsible for things that they don't have power over, correct, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So that's right. So I think it's an ongoing. You know, self-analysis is an ongoing process for all of us. You know, what can you control and what can't you control is a pretty important question to ask. Can I control another person's response?
Speaker 2:No, no, you can't you control is a pretty important question to ask. Can I control another person's? Response no no you can't, and I guess what I'm asking is that if you find yourself getting annoyed at things that you can control, like the size of the purse that's supposed to contain an Opal card Okay, so I'm getting annoyed about something I can control, then what? What happens next?
Speaker 1:So if I notice that and I guess that's the whole thing is that we get really habitualized about our internal emotional response and the thing about that is it feels right, like it felt right in the middle of that I'm like yeah, well, this is really annoying. Yes, why didn't he, you know, when I said, as if it had occurred, the guy should have gone. No, it doesn't, but he didn't.
Speaker 2:So yeah, right.
Speaker 1:It feels right at the time.
Speaker 2:That's right. So you've got that emotional state and then the dog's on the bed and you go get off the bed, get off the bed, and then I'm there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. But is this something that you can control? What you can do is learn to identify that emotional response and manage it. And how do you do that, david?
Speaker 2:Manage an emotional response.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, the first thing is to just notice that you're having one Right and you can name it and you can decide. You know, does this emotional response serve a purpose? Right, and if you are annoyed about something that you can change, then they say that, you know, anger is God's fire for change. If you're annoyed, you've got energy and it is something that you can impact on, then yeah, do it. You know, go get yourself the right size purse. You know, demand the resources to be able to fulfill that.
Speaker 1:But how do I manage that in the moment? What could I have done differently in the moment so I didn't end up sweating and speaking, you know, inappropriately, to the dog with the sore paw?
Speaker 2:okay, so you notice you're having that response. You, you know you name it. I'm frustrated because of this you accept the fact that it has a purpose. But then you can ask yourself, you know, is the annoyance actually helping me? You know, is being this frustrated working for me? If it is, then be frustrated, then act out of that frustration. If being that frustration is not working for you, then the thing that we can do is, can I say, drop anchor.
Speaker 1:Yeah you can.
Speaker 2:We can accept it. We can actually accept that we're disappointed or we're frustrated or we're annoyed and just kind of sit with that for a little bit.
Speaker 1:How do I do that? I go just accept the sensation in my body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, okay, now we are sort of talking about sort of some disciplines and techniques around psychological flexibility where, yeah, you can actually sit with a sensation and just notice it, and notice it objectively, notice that you've got a. Where does annoyance manifest?
Speaker 1:in you, in your chest, and you notice the sweating I do.
Speaker 2:Okay. So then you just notice the sensation in your chest, yep, and you notice the sweating, but you notice that that is not all of you.
Speaker 1:Ah, there's something else going on. I am not just my sweating, that's right.
Speaker 2:You've got those sensations chest and sweating but you can also move your feet, you can also nod your head, you can roll your shoulders back, and so that's right. You are not the emotion, so the emotion is not your total experience. You're just having this emotion, and having the emotion, you can choose whether you act on it or not.
Speaker 1:Perfect. And on that note, what are we going to call it? David's, not David's drivel, because that's mean David's. I'm trying to think of a word like Annie's pearls of wisdom.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're branding some of my.
Speaker 1:I'm branding it.
Speaker 2:Some of my rambling.
Speaker 1:David's, david's dose, david's dose, david's dose of wisdom Terrible. That's right, we'll workshop that David's dose of wisdom Terrible.
Speaker 2:That's right, we'll workshop that David's disciplines David's disciplines. Yeah, no, we're going to workshop that.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that's enough of that. Anyway, that's my rant for the day on how annoyed I am by burnout not suggesting that anybody isn't experiencing emotional distress, especially with the amount of terrible disruption that's going on in the world at the moment. We do think of the people that are in really terrible, terrible situations. So on that note from David's one of David's disciplines which we're going to workshop, from one of David's disciplines which we're going to workshop, if anybody out there is experiencing emotional distress, please talk to a friend or go and see a psychologist if you can afford it.
Speaker 2:But the first thing is to actually talk about it with someone, someone who has your best interest at heart, Someone who has your best interest at heart.
Speaker 1:We know that life can be very, very tough for a lot of people, so thank you for tuning in listeners wherever you are in the world. In Sydney, Australia, this morning, it is a wild and woolly day. It's very, very windy and Sydney ciders. When it drops below 15 degrees. We all get dressed like we're in the middle of Antarctica, so I'll go out this morning in my puffer jacket and I wish you all well. See you later.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning into why Smart Women with me, annie McCubbin. I hope today's episode has ignited your curiosity and left you feeling inspired by my anti-motivational style. Join me next time as we continue to unravel the fascinating layers of our brains and develop ways to sort out the fact from the fiction and the over 6,000 thoughts we have in the course of every day. Remember. And the over 6,000 thoughts we have in the course of every day. Remember. Intelligence isn't enough. You can be as smart as paint, but it's not just about what you know, it's about how you think. And in all this talk of whether or not you can trust your gut, if you ever feel unsafe, whether it's in the street, at work, in a car park, in a bar or in your own home, please, please, respect that gut feeling. Staying safe needs to be our primary objective. We can build better lives, but we have to stay safe to do that. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and share it with your fellow smart women and allies. Together, we're hopefully reshaping the narrative around women and making better decisions. So until next time, stay sharp, stay savvy and keep your critical thinking hat shiny.
Speaker 1:This is Annie McCubbin signing off from why Smart Women? See you later. This episode was produced by Harrison Hess. It was executive produced and written by me, annie McCubbin.
