Why Smart Women Podcast
Welcome to the Why Smart Women Podcast, hosted by Annie McCubbin. We explore why women sometimes make the wrong choices and offer insightful guidance for better, informed decisions. Through engaging discussions, interviews, and real-life stories, we empower women to harness their intelligence, question their instincts, and navigate life's complexities with confidence. Join us each week to uncover the secrets of smarter decision-making and celebrate the brilliance of women everywhere.
Why Smart Women Podcast
Bush turkey taken up residence on your bed? Laugh or cry ?
We explore how humour helps us handle stress, anxiety, and life’s clatter without ignoring pain. A rogue bush turkey sparks a deeper look at the body’s laugh response, thought defusion, and why timing and validation matter when using comedy as a coping tool.
• acknowledging Country and setting the scene in Sydney
• the bush turkey saga as a catalyst for laughter
• why some laugh in crisis and others only later
• what laughter does to the diaphragm, hormones and breath
• using humour to defuse anxious thoughts and gain distance
• paradox of approaching fear instead of pushing it away
• validation needs, boundaries and timing with jokes
• practical tools: mechanical laughter, comic voices, silly imagery
• habit-building for resilience and lighter problem solving
• closing reminders on safety, critical thinking and community
And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and share it with your fellow smart women and allies
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You are listening to the Why Smart Women Podcast, the podcast that helps smart women work out why we repeatedly make the wrong decisions and how to make better ones. From relationships, career choices, finances, to photo jackets and chaos movies. Every moment of every day, we're making decisions. Let's make some good ones. I'm your host, I'm in a cabin, and as a woman of a certain age, I've made my own pair of really bad decisions. Not as I don't think that's a five year. And I wish this podcast had been around to save me from myself. This podcast will give you insight into the working of your own brain, which will blow your mind. I acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which I'm recording, and you are listening on this day. Always was, always will be, Aboriginal land. Well, hello, smart women, and welcome back to the Why Smart Women Podcast. Today I am broadcasting from DY, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. And it is a perfect What are you laughing at?
SPEAKER_01:What are you laughing at? What am I laughing at?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um anything and everything this morning.
SPEAKER_00:Oh shut up. Stop being daggy. Haven't it even started yet? Oh my god. All right, don't confirm what I'm going to be talking about.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please please do go on.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. So um for all of you that are looking into a European autumn and going into a European winter, we are having a perfect sunny, gorgeous spring day here in Sydney. Don't want to brag, but that's the reality of it.
SPEAKER_01:You're so mean.
SPEAKER_00:So this is what happened this week. I was at the gym and I was um doing one of the pre-workout stretches on the floor, and my friend Gabby, he's from Brazil, said to me, um, oh I've had quite a day. I could only, I was going to run 5k and then I couldn't only run four because I was so tired. And um I said, Oh, well that that's okay. You can, you know, work hard in this session or whatever. And then she said, Oh, I had such a bad morning. This um um bush turkey now we have these things in Sydney um called bush turkeys, and they have recently migrated down from Queensland. The bush turkeys.
SPEAKER_01:But they've recently migrated. Well they did you I thought they were always here.
SPEAKER_00:Did what you think about it, d how often when you were growing up did you see, or even when our kids did kids were growing up, did you see bush turkeys?
SPEAKER_01:Uh isn't that the availability by the No I don't think it is.
SPEAKER_00:There's an example that's not maybe we weren't wandering around the locations where bush turkeys exist. It's not that there's been a mass migration of them from Queensland and apparently and they're protected.
SPEAKER_01:Well, let's protest. Anyway, they're really I'm so against mass migration. We must we must resist it. Yeah it's ruining the Australian way of life. This right this bush turkey mass migration.
SPEAKER_00:That's right down from Queensland. Anyway, bush turkeys are um they're really not very attractive. They're large, they're they're sort of the size of a what? What are they the size of?
SPEAKER_01:Well, like a a turkey. A turkey.
SPEAKER_00:They're like they're like a big turkey, and they've they've got unfortunately that they've got heads, they look like vultures. They're really unattractive. Anyway, and they make these terrible big net nests, and they're just sort of awful, and they wander around and they're just not very pleasant. Anyway, she said, so anyway, this bush turkey got into my house. That's the wrong accent.
SPEAKER_01:Is that is that a Brazilian accent?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me think about Gabby. Um, anyway, so this bush turkey, it got into my house and freaked me out. So I'm looking at it and it's wandering around inside my house, which is like a horrible thought um in the first place. The thought that one of these enormous turkeys could actually get into your house. And then she said, then so I went outside and I waited for it to leave. I thought that was pretty funny. She just went outside, she was so scared of it because it's so big. She said, I just went outside and I waited for it to leave, and then it didn't leave. So I went back inside and it was on her bed.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, how awful.
SPEAKER_00:And it had shat itself on her bed anyway.
SPEAKER_01:I thought that was coming.
SPEAKER_00:It was on her bed, and she said, and the worst thing was I had just changed my sheets, everything was clean. I'd changed my sheets, it was all beautiful and clean, and then I look, and there it was on the bed, and it had shut everywhere. Anyway, she started to laugh, and I started to laugh, and we we laughed so hard at the thought of this horrible thing on her bed ruining her morning, and then everyone was like, What are you laughing at? And then she told them, and then it was on my bed, she was yelling Christine, and every it went everywhere, and it shot on my bed, and I had that thing, and I couldn't get it out, and then everyone else was laughing, and um and then she had video of it, so then we all stopped what we were doing and looked at the video. It's so horrible. Anyway, so we we laughed, and and during the session, I every time I looked at her looked at her, we would start laughing again, and it just it just made me think of the different ways that we deal with life's challenges, right? Because you that could happen to you, right? And you may not see the funny side of that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no, you could be quite outraged. Yeah, I think you you'd be quite outraged. No, I'd laugh a lot. You would be later. You would laugh later.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I always laugh later.
SPEAKER_01:You wouldn't laugh at the time, though.
SPEAKER_00:No, I'd be terrified at the time.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:I I don't know what to do with these big flapping things of the brush turkey. I I I I I don't know, I wouldn't know how to get it out, I would be scared of it. Um it would cause me all manner of angst. But as soon as it was over, it would it would go into my um corollary of things that have amusing things that have happened to me.
SPEAKER_01:That's right, your your your your Rollodex of funny stories.
SPEAKER_00:My Rollodex of Funny Stories, it would be added, it would be added that to that, right? For sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_01:I know that Rollodex well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so and she's the same, and we we we are still laughing about it. I said it's just the funniest thing I'd ever heard, the thought of this horrible thing, and her too frightened to go into the house. So then I thought some some people would not see the humour in that.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_00:And and then I thought about you know, us and our very close friends and how very quickly on the back of bad things that have happened, how we pretty much go immediately to black humour and say really inappropriate things.
SPEAKER_01:Um of course we can't give you any examples because they're so inappropriate. But that's our black humour, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Very much so, and you know, like with the dog, you know, like with all that that happened with the dog.
SPEAKER_01:The stupid expensive dog.
SPEAKER_00:The stupid the dog is now the stupid expensive dog, and we're just laughing about and someone said to me today, has he done it before? I said, Oh yeah, weekly. You know, that that dog is a massive consumer of underwear and socks, which is true. So we're laughing about it, and that is our way to laugh about it. So then um I thought I thought to myself, because it is not everybody's way um to laugh, uh, I thought how what are the benefits of it as a coping strategy?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because there's been quite a lot of study done into this. Um I think people have noticed intuitively they feel better when they um when they have a laugh. Um and they're able to cope much better when they're able to to laugh at adversity. What's that phrase, you know? If you don't yeah you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry. Um so so so yeah, there's plenty of anecdotal stuff and and plenty of intuitive stuff. But um so you did a bit of research on the the benefits of humour and indeed just the simple act of laughing on stress and anxiety.
SPEAKER_00:Which I'd never really thought about because we just spend such vast periods of our life doing it. Yes, right? It just never occurred to me um that it is an incredibly um helpful mechanism to combat um depression and anxiety and just to manage life's vagaries, life's up and down, because as we know, shit happens. Yeah, and it's gonna keep happening.
SPEAKER_01:Can I suggest just a a little a little relevance check at this particular point? You know, if you must. Well, I don't know, you can you can always edit this out, I guess. But yeah, just ask ask your your your listeners to um you know to uh to think about um let's see, the the last time that they actually did have to deal with something very, very stressful, you know, be it a a brush turkey on the bed or or perhaps. Bush turkey.
SPEAKER_00:I know that they can be called brush or bush, but I think we're going to call it bush today because it's confusing.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. I mean the I think the the correct term is brush turkey.
SPEAKER_00:I think it is. I think it's bush.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. You're certain about that?
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:But I sound certain.
SPEAKER_01:You prefer it, wouldn't you? I would. Okay, f so from this point forward, if ever we mention a brush turkey.
SPEAKER_00:It's a bush turkey. Well, and and we named it vice versa. I think we named it what do we name it? I think we named it Aloysicious or something like that. Her b the one that was on her bed. Okay, okay. I think it was having a cigarette and a small gin.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so so sometimes it's something, you know, transitory and and uh and trivial.
SPEAKER_00:It was probably watching um it was probably watching Hitchcock's the Birds.
SPEAKER_01:Oh. Yeah, remote control. Um so it can be that kind of thing, or it could be something that is that is terrible and ongoing, like a a chronic illness, either yourself or someone in your family, or a very bad relationship dynamic, you know, there there are things that can tend to to to wear people down. Um and I guess uh I guess I wanted to invite uh people listening to think about, you know, th just picture themselves, you know, when they have been dealing with those things, you know, was their instinct to go to having a laugh about it, or was their instinct to go in another direction? And then I guess the other thing that we could ask is when was the last time you had a really good laugh, like a really good belly laugh? What made you laugh? And what was the uh what was the impact of having that laugh at the time? Did it did it create any short-term or maybe medium or even long-term positive effects? Am I?
SPEAKER_00:A little bit. You're a little bit like I don't know, what do you like the way you've stressed that? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Well, just to just to give people an opportunity to work out whether Yeah, or I'll give you a little bit of a little bit of a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00:That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, right.
SPEAKER_01:Are you dealing with shit and when was the last time you had a good laugh?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So we have quite a lot of belly laughs, and um I think it's good to look at what happens in the body when you are having a belly laugh. So what's actually happening in the in the body, David, when you're having a really good belly laugh?
SPEAKER_01:Well, in order to laugh, um your diaphragm has to move up and down. I mean it's um it's uh they've tracked the um the rise and fall of neurotransmitters in the body when people laugh. What happens when you start laughing? You actually release stress hormones. So at first you start to get a little bit more um a little bit more tense. So you build stress in the body. It heats up. It heats up, and then what happens is the diaphragm starts bouncing and it releases that pressure. So if I were to to just mechanically bounce my um my diaphragm um on an exhalation, huh, ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um that does create a release of tension in in the body, and that was purely mechanical. Um, but we have a laughter instinct that can get activated by doing that mechanically. So I'll do, you know, six mechanical ha ha ha, and then I'll I'll I'll turn it into a laughter. So ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
SPEAKER_00:That's making me laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course, as actors, we are required. I remember um an acting friend of mine, his greatest fear was that he would be required to laugh on Q on stage. That was his greatest fear. Like my greatest fear would be to have to cry on Q on stage, right? That would be that would cause me some um some stress. But for him, he just was terrified that he would have to laugh.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But you can do it, that was really good.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's right. So so so so you can actually get a a laughter going by doing that, you know, the that bouncing of the diaphragm, and then the instinct will kick in and and the laughter will then become organic. And what is really happening, it's like you're it's like you're you're you're shaking the tension out of the very centre of your body. I mean, you know that if your hands are tight or your legs are tight, you know, you give them a bit of a shake and it gets the blood and lymph and and and and other fluids moving through it. Um the same thing is happening in the short term when you laugh. You know, you're stimulating activity in your heart, your lungs, you know, all the muscles of the body.
SPEAKER_00:It's it's it's um it's it's increasing your brain endorphins.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And and and and just the oxygen that goes into your body. Again, um that process of laughter, um, air is moving in and out, and so the oxygen is getting into the bloodstream.
SPEAKER_00:And it aids it aids your muscle relaxation and circulation, right? And often often you'll notice after you've had a really good belly laugh, is what it does is you do get a good relaxed feeling afterwards. Because I think the other thing it does, and this is the the that the problem is, is that the resistance to it is the issue. The triggering thought is not the problem. The problem is your reaction to the triggering thought, and the more you resist that thought, the more it you become fused with it, and then the this reality that you have imagined seems more and more potent and more and more real. Now, if you can actually add some humor into the thinking, then what happens is it activates the bit of your brain where you can actually separate to some degree from the thought, have the thought, let the thought be, but it doesn't actually embed this thought in your brain if you've added some humour into the situation. And the other thing that happens is if you can have an alteration in your perspective of what's going on, right, then you can start looking at it from a different perspective and you can start problem solving.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, okay. So you're so you're saying that if you're faced with a challenge and you can in and you feel it shutting you down.
SPEAKER_00:Like a thought, it's like a really scary thought.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like a thought, you know, like you know, like um we you know don't don't have enough money in the bank in order to cover something.
SPEAKER_00:Or I I don't feel well, it's probably a terrible illness.
SPEAKER_01:Or uh the dog's not looking well, do we have to take him back to the vet on a Sunday night? An anxious thought.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that was a genuine thought.
SPEAKER_01:It was a genuine thought, but it's still an anxious you are you making a distinction between the two? It could be a genuine thought. We've got to take the dog to the vet. Yes, we do have to take the dog to the vet. That causes anxiety. Well That's that's that's that's still part of this, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but I mean sometimes you've got to distinguish, haven't you, that that thought about do we have to take to the dog to the vet. There we don't want to push all the thoughts away because sometimes the thought is accurate.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Well okay, so I think I think the the thing that we're talking about here is that if you want to use humour as a way of managing your anxiety, you know, managing life's challenges, then what you're gonna have to do is something very counterintuitive. In fact, almost something paradoxical.
SPEAKER_00:Tell me about that.
SPEAKER_01:Well, the the anxious feelings are uncomfortable, and the instinctive response is to push them away.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:The paradox is that you can actually free yourself from the negative effect of that thought by moving towards it, uh about inviting it in.
SPEAKER_00:Um Okay, so let's just t take a a real world example. Yeah. So I don't feel I've had this weird nausea for three weeks. I don't feel well.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so, you know, at least once a day I say to myself, Oh, that's probably some terrible disease I've got. Yeah. I'm probably something terribly wrong with me. Why won't it go away? Why is it so intractable? I don't feel well. Yes. What's going on?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes. And probably dying. Okay, you're probably dying. Yeah. Um and so when when when you give that voice, when you give that thought that voice, does it feel like a a particular character, say, in a cartoon or something like that? You know, I'm not feeling well, I'm probably going to die.
SPEAKER_00:Uh no, it feels it feels if I don't apply any techniques, it just feels real and awful. But what you're talking about is actually using a paradoxical technique. So what I would do is turn it into a comedic voice. Yeah. Like, you're probably gonna die. This is terrible. It's intractable, you're gonna die, you've probably only got a week to live.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, and so so so what happens to your anxiety when you when you do your bad New York accent?
SPEAKER_00:What do you mean bad? Well, I g so it wasn't bad, I thought it was really good.
SPEAKER_01:When you use your New York accent. Thank you. Yeah, what is it what does it do to that thought that maybe, you know, not feeling well is it it r it reduces the amount to which I'm fused with it.
SPEAKER_00:So instead of it being very central, the thought and significant, it's just I don't know, like a just a funny thought. I just feel I don't feel as as um hooked by it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean I mean that that that certainly reminds me of a suite of therapeutic interventions that are part of um acceptance commitment therapy that we that we practice with people. Yeah. Um and it is very much around uh changing your relationship with the thoughts that frighten you so that they have less power over you.
SPEAKER_00:And how do you do that with humor?
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so well, you just did it then. That's a great example of of of giving the the fear or the anxiety a voice, but turning it into a comic voice. Um if you can personify um you know the frightening thought. So, you know, let's let let's uh let's imagine um that it's a it's a it's a it's it's a it's a purple bogeyman who emerges out of the shadow um and and is is is scaring you with thoughts of of never getting well again. Um what you do is you if you if you can picture that bogeyman. Oh, so I actively would picture that. Picture the bogeyman. Uh-huh. Um what colour is it? Purple. Is it in good shape or is it fat?
unknown:Fat.
SPEAKER_01:Is it's fat. What what colour are the eyes?
SPEAKER_00:Green.
SPEAKER_01:Does it have horns?
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Are they uh pointing in the same direction? No, one is skew if one is skew if. Um and um and when this um when this bogeyman speaks to you, it's with a bad New York accent.
SPEAKER_00:Just a New York accent. A New York accent. Not a bad New York accent. It's just a New York accent. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um uh it it give it a line. Like uh, you know, it looks it it looks like you're going to die.
SPEAKER_00:Looks like you're gonna die there. Okay. That was better. I want to show that again. Hang on, New York. I might I might go uh I might go Cal uh California. So no, I'll go New York. Okay. Looks like you're gonna die there, honey.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, okay. Uh g give it a give it a yeah, give it a lisp.
SPEAKER_00:Looks like you're gonna die there, honey.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, uh, you know, uh forget about it.
SPEAKER_00:So forget about it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, forget about it. Relax, guys. Yeah, it looks like you're gonna die there, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it looks like you're gonna die there. You've got a lisp. Yeah, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So um even even though we're playing around with this, how how how powerful is that thought, you know, your anxiety about not getting well again? Mm-hmm. What's that done to it?
SPEAKER_00:Well, it I it's diminished it, but of course we don't we can't be chasing the the diminishment, can we, because it's sort of count that's you know what I mean? I don't I can't want it to be different because that gives it power. It just happens to be at the moment it's just sort of hovering about.
SPEAKER_01:That's right. So there we come back to the to the to that paradox of while it would seem natural and helpful to push the thoughts away, yeah, you actually invite it in and you give it a character, you give it a voice, you give it horns that point in different directions, you give it a lisp, um, and then see how much how much power that has over you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So um, and of course, the thing is that anxiety, depression, it thrives on seriousness, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. So the more seriously you approach these things, the more gravity um you you sort of layer into the situation, the less likely you are to be able to see it from another perspective.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's right. I mean, uh a lot of people when they are under pressure, they want their their struggles to be validated, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, see, that's another really interesting point, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:You know, and and and and if we take the the anxiety or the or the struggle or the challenge lightly, then part of us might be quite offended. You know, um we should be we should be treating this, you know, seriously. Um, you know, we shouldn't be laughing at it. But what unfortunately that does is that it it actually gives power to the thought. Um so so so that's one thing, uh the need for validation. I think another thing that stops people from using humour, um laughter as a hedge against anxiety and and life's challenges, um is the slightly daggy nature of moving.
SPEAKER_00:Actually, can I before you get on to the daggy nature of it? Okay, um I do think that's needs a bit more um focus. That notion that if my narrative is I'm having a really rough time, right? Yeah, and I lead with that narrative that life is tough and you need to understand how tough my life is, yeah, then of course I don't it I will be offended. Yeah, I would be offended if you tried to laugh at it. So I think in terms of this can only be something that you can initiate yourself with your own anxieties and life troubles. I think if somebody else tries to um to tell you or tries to put a comic edge on something that you don't think is funny, I think that would really backfire.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So certain certainly in a in a in a in a therapeutic conversation, if you go to send up somebody's s struggles and fears and anxiety. Just in a friendship. Or just in a friendship. If you do it too soon, if you do it too soon, then it yes, it it does invalidate. You probably like to do more more more harm than good. Um so so just for now, let's let's let's let's just swing it around to our own private process. If we notice that we're feeling challenged, anxiety, fear, those sorts of things. Um the invitation is for you to bounce your diaphragm and just start laughing about it and see what happens. There will be resistance because I think internally there will be a voice that says, you know, my pain is not being validated here. Um and so at that point, it really just is your choice.
SPEAKER_00:Um and just remembering that it is well worth actually um trying to move in this direction because there is plenty of evidence that it actually improves your immune system.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And and also because you've gone through like a reframe, it's protective. You're less likely to take it, take the next trial or tribulation as seriously because you become habitualized about trying to look at the lighter side of life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so so so I think what you're describing there is a is a psychological benefit. Um, I do believe that if you get into the habit of laughing at yourself, those positive thoughts actually do um release neurotransmitters. I think they're neuropeptides, and they generally make you feel a little bit more resilient, optimistic, bulletproof.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, which just takes the wind out of anxiety's sails, right? Because you're sort of you're you're puncturing the side of the anxious narrative, aren't you? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But but but but for some people, um, you know, maybe it is just that short to medium term getting through the current challenge. Um, you know, my my my mother, who passed about 12 years ago, um, had pancreatic cancer. Um and pancreatic cancer is, you know, for those who know it, it's a it's a it's a fairly distressing diagnosis. Um there's very little that can be done in order to arrest its decline. Um and my mother, who did have, you know, some experience with the black dog, she knew that she had to watch her mental health quite carefully. Um, she actually decided to do the the laughter therapy on her own.
SPEAKER_00:And it really worked for her. It really worked for her. It really did, honestly. God love her, it really worked for her.
SPEAKER_01:And some people will sign up to, you know, laughter yoga at um at ashrams. I'm I'm sure you may have even seen file footage of Ashrams? Of yeah, ashrams, you know, people standing in circles and uh, you know, they're being led by a laughter guru and Annie's face is um because then they're torting with discomfort. She doesn't like all of this stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Well I don't mind the laughter. I just I I don't like anything that has a whiff of cult about it, that's all.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And as soon as you've got someone in front of you know, a group telling them what to do, you know, there's probably something going on behind that I won't like.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. You know, we we' we we're we're whenever whenever some guru lights upon a particular technique or action that requires repetition, yeah, there is the the potential that it might turn into a cult or it might turn into a centre of excellence, you know, depending on who it is that's running it. But yes, this idea of going to a class and just sitting there and laughing, again, there's probably resistance because we don't think that we're doing, you know, justice to just how hard life is. But but to but to actually, you know, do the laughter and feel better is its own reward.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think that's right. I think that's right.
SPEAKER_01:If we wanted to to give people just a couple of things to try, you know, to test this hypothesis that laughter makes things better, that laughter is indeed the best medicine, um what do you think are some of the the simple, easy things that you could start off with?
SPEAKER_00:I grew up with a very, very irreverent father who and we pretty much laughed at everything. So it's in my DNA, I think.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um and I naturally surround myself with people um and we we laugh all the time because all of us, at least one of us at some point has got something, you know, not great going on, and we laugh about it. So it comes naturally to me. I think what you talked about before about actually applying yourself to moving your diaphragm up and down and then actually laughing, yeah. And I guess I don't know, it do do you asking yourself the question, do you have a need um to have your um your struggles validated. Your struggles validated. And if you do have a need to have your struggles validated, and we're not talking about obviously if somebody's going through something really terrible, of course we should be respectful and we should be able to sit with that person in whatever pain they're in. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about an ongoing the sort of clatter of life when things happen. Are you the sort of person where something happens and what you require is the people around you to validate that quite seriously? Now, if that's the case, and it'd be interesting for you to watch it, does that make you feel any better? Because often people that are in that sort of social situation where they are constantly looking for validation that their situation is difficult, their situation is worse. If we knew what it was like for them, then we wouldn't be laughing. Often what happens is his friends begin to drop off.
SPEAKER_02:Right?
SPEAKER_00:That that's the unfortunate truth. Because everybody is dealing with something. That's my experience. Most people are dealing with something at some time, right?
SPEAKER_01:I mean they say misery love loves company, but um but it's not the kind of company that you want to keep around you.
SPEAKER_00:No, that's right.
SPEAKER_01:Because it keeps you um it keeps you mired. So look, some really simple things that you can do. Um first thing is is right now you could turn the corners of your mouth up, make a smile, and then just give a laugh. Even if it feels forced.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Even if it feels forced. Um After you've had a chuckle, just take stock of how you're feeling. You know, do you do you notice that your muscles are a little less tense or do you feel any more buoyant? Um you could do very direct laughter practice. So if you if you find ways of habitually laughing at difficult situations, and again see if your stress begins to to fade away. You know, here we are again at the emergency vet on Sunday night. You know, it would have to be Sunday night. You know, there's there's there's some humour in there. Um you could try, you know, the laughter yoga if it's being advertised anywhere.
SPEAKER_00:Or just watch, you know, make make a point of watching really, really funny shows. Yeah. Like, I don't know, what's a really funny show?
SPEAKER_01:Well, you know, I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm certainly enjoying um South Park at the moment. South Park's great.
SPEAKER_00:I do um I've been watching Simpsons is really funny.
SPEAKER_01:I've been watching reruns of The Good Place.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, The Good Place is really good.
SPEAKER_01:Which is also funny. And and and look, I I know that that's why sometimes people go to social media, you know, so much of the social media context.
SPEAKER_00:I find hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:I I I I like pictures of of cats swatting people and animals that are much barga much bigger than this.
SPEAKER_00:Just a cat smacking a dog I find really funny.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um there was that other technique that we were talking before, and that is to exaggerate the intrusive thought and give it a give it a ridiculous character. You know, give it give it Mickey Mouse ears. You know, if if you're worried about the um the the um uh the grim reaper, then give the grim reaper Mickey Mouse ears and a Mickey Mouse voice.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. It's the salmon moose. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Or something like that.
SPEAKER_00:Did you say it's the salmon moose? Oh, that's funny. Um so look, I think we started this discussion by by um talking about my friend with the brush turkey pooing on her bed.
SPEAKER_01:Bush turkey. The bush turkey, bush turkey poo on poo poo on the bed.
SPEAKER_00:The bush turkey roaming the house while she was too frightened to go in. It's pretty funny. So um yeah, I think it's just a really good thing to remember that all of us in the course of our life stuff arises, there's going to be difficult, there's going to be difficulties, there's going to be trials, there's going to be tribulations. And developing your capacity to look at these things with a humorous bent is really really helpful in managing your mood, in managing anxiety, in managing depression, in boosting your immune system, and just keeping everything turning over in a better work better working order.
SPEAKER_01:I mean humour is the greatest gift that evolution has given to human beings.
SPEAKER_00:Do dogs laugh?
SPEAKER_01:Do they laugh?
SPEAKER_00:Do you think they see things are funny?
SPEAKER_01:I th well I I don't think that they've got the capacity for the kind of kind of um humour that we enjoy, which is about contrast and narrative and juxtaposition of complex things.
SPEAKER_00:I think I think yo-yo might have laughed at Ryder. Ryder with the socked sock.
SPEAKER_01:Yo-yo are probably fed Ryder the sock.
SPEAKER_00:Yo yo. She's a bad evil dog.
SPEAKER_01:Um but but yeah, humor hu humour is evolution's gift to mankind. You know, unwrap that present and use it every day.
SPEAKER_00:So on that note, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, stay safe, stay well, keep your critical thinking hats on. See you later. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to Why Smart Women with me, Annie McCubbin. I hope today's episode has ignited your curiosity and left you feeling inspired by my anti-motivational style. Join me next time as we continue to unravel the fascinating layers of our brains and develop ways to sort out the fact from the fiction and the over 6,000 thoughts we have in the course of every day. Remember, intelligence isn't enough. You can be as smart as paint, but it's not just about what you know, it's about how you think. And in all this talk of whether or not you can trust your gut. If you ever feel unsafe, whether it's in the street, work, car park, in a bar, or in your own home, please, please respect that gut feeling. Staying safe needs to be our primary objective. We can build better lives, but we have to stay safe to do that. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and share it with your fellow smart women and allies. Together we're hopefully reshaping the narrative around women and making better decisions. So until next time, stay sharp, stay savvy, and keep your critical thinking at shiny. This is Annie McCubbin signing off from White Smart Women. See you later. This episode was produced by Harrison Hest. It was executive produced and written by me, Annie McCubbin.
