Ditch the Pressure, Choose the Pleasure: How to Shift Your Energy and Make Life Flow

What if life didn’t have to feel so hard? What if we could create more ease, flow, and joy—without forcing or pushing? In this episode of Soul Talk for the Seekers, we’re diving into the idea of shifting from pressure to pleasure, and how making small energetic shifts can transform the way we work, parent, and move through life.

We explore:
✨ How obligation and pressure show up in daily life (and how to shift them)
✨ The power of changing your energy to create ease in work, relationships, and responsibilities
✨ Where we personally struggle most with pressure—and what we’re doing to change it
✨ How to reframe tasks that feel draining into something that feels lighter and more aligned

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by ‘have-to’s’ and expectations, this episode is your permission slip to create a new way of being—one that feels way more fun, aligned, and expansive.

You can find Jaclyn @ www.jaclynkaminskibodyandsoul.com
Follow me on Instagram or Facebook @jaclynkaminskibodyandsoul

You can find Ashlie @ www.ashlieallen.com
Follow me on TikTok @inspiredashlie or Instagram @ashliealleninspired

Transcript

0:04

Welcome to Soul Talk for the Seekers podcast and channel. I'm Ashley Allen. And I'm Jacqueline Kaminsky. We're two intuitive soul sisters joined by synchronicity and spirit here to dig in. We want to invite you along on our journey where anything may come up, but if you consider yourself a seeker, you're in the right place.

Jaclyn: 0:33

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Soul Talk for the Seekers. This week, Ashley and I are gonna be, well, really, honestly, this is gonna be interesting. Who knows where this will end up? But, um, we both are actually taking, uh, Andrea Crowder's Pleasure Overpressure? Is that the name of it, Ash? It's called, it's called the pleasure model. I don't even know the name of it, so let's start there. Anyway.

Ashlie: 1:04

Honestly though, it doesn't matter what the name of it is. Let's talk about what it, like, what we're trying to accomplish right now. Because I think that's the key here. That is the key.

Jaclyn: 1:11

It has nothing to do with the name of it, but we're totally taking it together and it's funny. Um, but the whole gist of it, right, is coming at everything from pleasure and if there's, right, like pressure. So to me, that is, and I've, you, we've definitely talked about this before, is like, energy, right? And is my energy super clear ish, right? Like you can go back to that episode, clear ish, um, around what I'm doing. And it's funny, I do, right? As much as, um, I have brought spirituality into my entire life and my work, I do notice, right, can I do that in my corporate gig? Yeah. And the answer is, fuck no, I can't. So, that's what we're going to be talking about today. Um, and there has to be a way. I'm sure that we can. I just have I was gonna say I was gonna I'll

Ashlie: 2:05

add to that so we cannot but the answer is for now like for now it's a how are we gonna do more of this because I I will say like it's interesting before we and we just started this like yesterday so we're brand new in this whole this whole thing having what's what's not brand new for Jack and I is that The principles of how to create ease, how to, like, where your beingness reflects what your reality is. Like, those are things that we, like, that goes, that runs long and deep within both of us. So what's interesting here is to sort of check yourself against Against those practices. And so I, what we've already noticed is that there's certain things that I know are going to be harder for me and other things that like Jack was saying are going to be harder for her as we do this because there's certain elements that we've already ingrained, like not to say we don't get challenged with it. I think that's part of being a human, but this is very much, um, it, I feel like this is just going to enhance it. That's what we already practice and preach, quite frankly. And with the goal being, and let's also clarify, cause when you say pleasure model, that like, it takes you down a different brainwave. You

Jaclyn: 3:20

know what I mean? Totally does. Right? That's why I say like, it's about energy. It's coming at everything from how does my energy feel around this? Does this feel so good? Or is this draining me? Does this feel like pressure? Does this feel like, ugh, I don't want to do this? Or is there something in there, right? That's not like full open expansion, your energy feels so fucking good and you're like, oh my god, yes, this is it. Which I know you're not going to feel. All the time. All the time. So, also, let me say that! I don't mean, like, oh, you're always living on that, because that's also not true.

Ashlie: 3:59

Well, you know, the thing that I found that I loved, because she uses, um, Andrew uses a lot of, like, of analogies, a lot of, just a lot of analogies in the way she speaks, which is my language, is analogies. And she talked about it in, in, I loved this. That's why I'm repeating it here, is, It's like an RRT

Jaclyn: 4:18

thing.

Ashlie: 4:19

Yeah, well, it's like when you're in, when you're in a new relationship, it's exciting. It's fun. But there's a lot of highs and lows because you're, you're vulnerable. You're questioning. You're like, Oh, do they like me? Are we in? Like, what are they thinking? The same thing. I think. And then when you're in a steady. Long term relationship and and I'm talking generally speaking, right? Like it sort of dials down but there's this like beautiful neutrality to it and like a like an ongoing like trust that comes with it and It doesn't mean that it doesn't negate The depth of it or the meaning or purpose of it, but it is different. And so it's about how, like how to have, we can have those highs and lows, but man, when you have highs like that, the lows are pretty, I think I'm pretty low. So creating like this flow where you're, you're allowed to experience excitement, but it comes from this like baseline of neutrality and of just like, yeah, like I'm. That's a line to what I'm supposed to be doing here.

Jaclyn: 5:25

Yeah. And I am good at this. And most

Ashlie: 5:30

I am, let's go there. Like, let's talk about the things we think are going to be easier and the things that are going to be harder because like, I think that all of us, you know, have, have different. And again, I'm like one episode in, I'm like not even, but I think it's the idea. It's the idea of creating the loosening and the ease wherever you can.

Jaclyn: 5:48

Yeah, um, I'm really, my struggle, honestly, will be my children. Um, I do a lot of things that necessarily I don't want to do. But I, but right, like, so here's the thing. I feel like I have to do as their mother. And do I with 18 year old children? Yeah. No, they're 18, right? The things that I do for them is ridiculous. They should be able, like, I know that they can do them themselves. They just choose not to, and my, right, like, In certain areas, I still try to control their clearly because I still do it, but it's more just because I want them to like eat like it sounds so ridiculous. But like my 18 year old son, will he make himself food? No, if I do not give him food, he will not eat or he'll order food. Like that's it. It drives me batty. So like, Do I want to cook? No. Actually, cooking in general, I cannot stand. I hate it, with every ounce of my being. So that right there, will there ever be any, like, pleasure in that? Absolutely not.

Ashlie: 7:03

Okay, can I say something about that though? Sure! Cause, okay, I'm with you, I hate cooking. Like baking, love baking, actually, do not like cooking. Actually, I do enjoy

Jaclyn: 7:11

baking as well, but cooking is a hard freaking no.

Ashlie: 7:15

Yeah. I just, I don't enjoy it either. And, um, so I was like, well, why am I doing stuff that makes me feel so ick all the time? And I, and I know I've shared this with you, but Drake and my husband and I started ordering meals that are just delivered to our house. We do the factor meals, but I'm not going to lie to you. It's costing the same or less. Then groceries were costing me and, and I'm doing those meals probably for three to four nights a week. Then when I'm out of town, my family just eats those. My husband doesn't have to worry about making anything like he can just pick something, put it in the microwave and it's like healthy. And I'm into high protein, like, you know, it needs to be packed with nutrients, nutritious, but tasty. Most of the time, pasty is a couple of things, but, um, and it's been a, it's been a hit so far. So, and I feel so much less pressure. Regarding cooking and and then it's been interesting. There's been a couple nights I've wanted to make dinner. Can you believe I just said that? So by the time It's like, it's time to, you know, when I know I want to make something, I'm making this stuff. I actually enjoy making, and I was the way it was happening for me before I hated all of it. So even if I enjoyed making, I didn't, couldn't even recognize that I enjoyed it because I hated the rest of it so much. So I don't know, maybe look into

Jaclyn: 8:34

a meal. We've done, we've tried all of them. Um, no one will eat them, but me and I've tried. Probably 10 different feels a little asshole, man. Oh, they, they are. They also don't eat leftovers. They don't, right? Like, so kick them out of the house. They're 18. Get them on out. That's what I'm saying. It is like, and nobody likes the same stuff. At all. So I, what we've been doing, which is not healthy for anyone is we've just been, I mean, actually it's really very healthy for me because I'm eating very healthy. Um, and really probably my daughter too, but well, like we, everybody orders out every night because I'm like, Oh, I don't feel like cooking. I hate cooking. So we do a lot more ordering out than I want to.

Ashlie: 9:21

Um,

Jaclyn: 9:23

but that just does feel better to me, however, it also doesn't feel, but it doesn't feel good in the sense of, right? Like I can't tell you how many times my son orders McDonald's and it drives me freaking batty. So like there's, there's that too, but again, that has nothing to do with me. That's him. That's, or his choices. And he's 18, which is what I keep telling myself. Like at some point he needs to, right. I need to trust his choices. even though it drives me crazy. Um, so that's going to be a real challenge for me is the children. My second one is definitely going to be obviously my corporate job. I do things all the time that I don't want to do. But it is required of me for my job. So that's gonna be, um, an interesting one. And since I have brought it to light, I'm sure there will be a way that will eventually come. And it will be amazing when it's here. But until then, I'm not sure, um, I do, that's obviously going to come up for me because that's something that comes in all the time. You are not talking about the process part.

Ashlie: 10:38

You have to talk about that too.

Jaclyn: 10:40

The process part. Um. Yeah,

Ashlie: 10:42

the planning.

Jaclyn: 10:43

Uh, well, I am a, like, I, I'm a planner. By me, like, plan, planning makes me actually feel so much better. Um, and it really does, which is kind of funny because my human design would tell you differently, it would say I'm not a planner. And I shouldn't plan, but planning absolutely calms my nervous system. It makes me feel so much better. So I'm a planner and I don't care what it says. So how about that? And, um, but like But the planning is okay. The planning is difficult in the sense of like, when you have something planned and then you're like, Oh, this is good. My energy does not feel right. And there's Right, and quite honestly, I already know I would just I need to schedule right like I need to have a lot of free time, so that I can write like, not necessarily say okay it has to be at this time just more of a so I'm kind of answering what I really how I will just handle it is more because I do this a lot. Kind of anyway, but like really just having the list of what I want done, and then just doing it when it gets done, right? Like, this is my plan for the next two days, and it kind of just lands when it lands, and not necessarily tie time to it. Because, if, even if I don't want to do something right now, right? Like, if right now it doesn't feel right to me, I can promise you, because I'm constantly, like, Kind of clearing my energy out and like doing all of the things like I don't I can when something comes up and triggers me or something doesn't feel right to me. I typically move through it pretty quickly. I'm able to just like be with it even like when I'm like sitting in like uncomfortableness or something's like triggered the fuck out of me. I can like sit with it and the energy will move pretty quickly I'm not not even trying to change it just like being with it. Oh, how fascinating, right? Like it moves and it moves quick. So I do think that in this process of my planning is that's exactly how I'll do it. I, I will just have like, these are the things that I want to do today. And you know what I mean? Try to put a time to it because that does help me. But not be rigid about it. If I feel great at that time, great. If I don't, great. Um, but at least then I have some sort of thing and also knowing that my time to thrive. Is in the morning, right? Um, that is when I am at my best. That is when I can do all of the things. Um, although it is interesting I say that. And at night is like when I sit down and I do like my content from the couch. Like super relaxed and chill. And then the next thing you know it's like 2 a. m. And I'm like, oh fuck. But, like that just, and so now I know that. And that's not something I can even plan if I wanted to. It just shows up, um, when I'm just, like, in it. So, yeah. How about you, though? What are you worried that is going to be a little triggering for you?

Ashlie: 14:08

Um, so, I actually know exactly what it is, because so much of this, it's It actually validates how I am natural, like how I am naturally. But here's what I've been doing. I've been guilting myself about it. And when you create guilt and shame surrounding like ways that you operate naturally, it, it kind of ruins, it, it, it actually totally ruins it because then So guilt in what way? So for, I'll give you a perfect, yeah. And you and I have talked about this, but it's a perfect example of like, like when we plan on. Like, and um, Jack and I do our, um, episodes early in the morning, like before either one of us have work. And sometimes I'm like, Hey, look, like I, I, I'm not gonna, I can't do this morning or I'm going to be late and, or it's got to be in this time range, like not at this time because I don't know. And there was a long period of time where I felt so guilty. I'm like, Oh my God, Jack has got to be so effing annoyed with me because I can't just come. commit to a specific time. It's always wobbly and wiggly. And, um, there was a long time where I was like, there was some shame and guilt about why can't you just do exactly what you say you're going to do, Ashley, like what the F is wrong with you. Like, why can't you just create enough control in your life where you can just be there at that exact time? And, and that's just one example. But, um, and, and luckily, fortunately for me, like the way that both of us work. But they, we, we allow for fluidity, so. You never made me feel bad about any of that when I'm like, hey, like, can't or whatever, or I'm going to be 10 minutes late, or I have to go do this for what, whatever kid. Um, but that's an example though. Yeah.

Jaclyn: 15:45

I totally, I totally get what you're saying. But yeah. And

Ashlie: 15:48

I know it doesn't bother you, but I think that's also a great example of like, even in my. In my corporate, like in my, in my day job that I, I do battle with a little bit because I'm big on really being present with people when I'm with them and not looking at the clock, well, that doesn't work well when you have appointments and you need to be on time. And, and so I've had to train myself to set alarms and do all kinds of different things. So I'm not like always late. Oh, like very late for everything. Um, that's tough for me. I, I, and it's, again, it's not because, not because I don't want to be on time, not because I don't value people's time. I think that's a, I think that's a I think that can be the case for some people when they're late all the time, or when they have a tendency for that time, so to just, Oh, yeah, but, but like, I beat myself up about it. I really have. And so that's one thing where, um, I think that I'll be really interested the, when I release the. The shame and guilt surrounding that and I just say, look, no, no, this is, I'm going to work with within flow and if something doesn't feel good to me, we're not going to do it. I mean, I will say, um, for client, um, when I do one on ones for my business, if my energy is bad, I do cancel or if something, if something doesn't feel good, because I never want. I don't want people to be getting a 50 percent part of 50 percent session or a half assed, whatever, because, you know, something I have going on, I really want to be able to focus on them. I just really want to be present. And, um,

Jaclyn: 17:25

I agree with that so much. I do that as well. I will say like in the corporate world I have, so I do want to name this too. And I think you have too, if I'm not okay, right? Like if my If I, if I'm like really ill, like my energy is that jacked and I have a meeting, I will cancel that meeting and go like walk away and clear my energy. So I do do that. I just mean, so I do do that. So I want to name that. And I think you do as well, right? Like you're not going to. I do do that. So when I,

Ashlie: 17:58

I'm not going to show up crappy for somebody because I didn't take care. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Jaclyn: 18:03

So like, even in like when I'm not well, like, but right. And I do, I totally cancel too. If I, my energy is not right. I would never do a one on cause that's not fair to them. Right? Like they want the absolute best of us and allowing us to be that clear channel. So we need to get, get rid of the noise, if you will. Um, so I think

Ashlie: 18:21

that's like, that's one. And I know I want to go through kind of the recipe quickly because I think We'll just find out how it works. But so, so that's one thing that I actually work with and flow very easily. But, um, I work better with process though. I work better with like with parameters and with like, and so then what I'm able to do is to kind of mix them in. So it'll be interesting. Um, the thing that's going to be difficult for me is the obligation piece. Um, if it like not coming to anything from an obligatory energy and I come at a lot of things with an obligatory energy. I'm not going to lie. Like I do like, Oh no, I just have to do this or this just has to happen right now. Um, Yeah. And so what I think is interesting will be interesting is when you remove that, what if the stuff, what if, and I don't know the answer, what if the stuff that feels obligatory If you can infuse it with like the intent and the purpose and the, the, the elements like because of what it results in and that's what I'm going to play with a little bit, um, the things we don't like doing the laundry, like the stuff you have to do as a, as a person and the laundry expenses, um, filing your taxes. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff that we have to do. And some of you, I know might enjoy those things. That's not me. Um, but there's gotta be a way to make it. To make it exciting. I mean, I, I, I, that's never this. This is something that comes to mind for me that I think is a good example, writing a check for something you don't want to pay for, like, uh, some sort of bill, like not a fun check to write. Right. Um, changing energy around writing that check. So. When you ride it, you're like, wow, thank you for being a reason that I like am so comfortable in my house with my heat. Like, thank you. Thank you.

Jaclyn: 20:07

I do do that.

Ashlie: 20:08

Well, I know we both do that. So maybe the answer to enjoying having enjoyment and, um, and feeling less obligation surrounding obligatory things is, is taking that thought process and just taking it a little further and, and I don't know, we'll see what happens, but I know the obligatory energy thing is what. is what gets me. The things you must do because somebody has assigned it to you.

Jaclyn: 20:32

I think it's like changing the, right? And so I, I'm so glad that we're going to call full circle this. It's like changing the perspective. We just need to change the perspective of all of this shit. Like when something comes up, it's like, okay. And how else can I see this? Right.

Ashlie: 20:48

Yeah. Yeah. A thousand, a thousand percent. So we'll see what happens. I think, um, end of, at the end of the day, this is really about How can we just create more ease and flow and just enjoyment and relieve the pressure points that have such a tendency to infuse their way into so many parts of our lives. And if all of us can even alleviate a few pressure points that can create a life with a lot less stress, a lot of anxiety, and just a lot more fulfillment and enjoyment. And that's what I think we're all after. So I, I think a good way to close is for everyone listening that had sort of trailed us on these stories, we've been going up and down about all of this. What is one thing that you're doing today that doesn't sound fun or that you're not looking forward to and where can you maybe look at it differently or even ask for help on it? Maybe it's that you ask for help or there's somebody else that would enjoy doing it that could help with it. Kind of flip the, flip the whole thing on its lid a little bit, off its lid and, uh, and change the way it impacts you from a pressure perspective and see what happens. Trial it out, trial it out. So with that, we look forward to seeing you all next week and let's just go forward with this week and take anything that looks like pressure and, and say, yeah, thanks, but no, thanks. Not, not today. Let's just make it fun. Yeah. Alright, well thanks everyone. Have a wonderful week. Bye everybody. Bye.

22:36

Thanks for hanging out with us. If you want to hang some more, you can follow us at Ashley Allen Inspired and Jacqueline Kaminsky Body and Soul. Until next time, keep seeking.