Building a Life Beyond Performing: Mindset, Boundaries and the Power of Saying No - Ep. 76

Building a Life Beyond Performing: Mindset, Boundaries and the Power of Saying No - Ep. 76.

Welcome to a brand new episode of the Showbiz Side Hustle Podcast, the go-to show for performers who know their journey doesn't stop when the curtain falls. In this episode, Nicole kicks off Season 3 with the first expert deep dive, focusing on the crucial topics of mindset, energy and intuition for performers transitioning into new careers or expanding their creative paths.

Joining the conversation is acclaimed West End actor and spiritual coach Buckso Dhillon-Woolley. With a career that started in her late 30s, embracing everything from TV soaps, film and the West End, to founding a spiritual magazine and coaching fellow creatives, Buckso Dhillon-Woolley brings her undeniable wisdom about pivoting, resilience and reconnecting with your authentic self.

This episode explores what it means to repurpose your performance skills outside the confines of the stage, embrace change, and build powerful new stories in your life and career. You’ll hear inspiring anecdotes, practical tools for self-empowerment, and an honest look at how grief, intuition and transferable skills shape the multi-talented, ever-evolving performerpreneur.

If you’ve ever felt lost in the industry or wondered how your creativity could lead you to new adventures, you’re in the right place. Tune in for permission, practical advice and plenty of food for thought from two women who know what it means to step confidently into the next chapter.

Chapters

00:00 "Performers Pivoting Beyond Stage"

04:38 "Journey from Extra to Actor"

08:21 "Rethinking Drama School Expectations"

09:52 "Changing the Industry Narrative"

16:00 "Spiritual Advisor and Mentor"

18:22 "Finding Self in Industry"

24:08 "Rejecting Fear, Embracing Power"

25:06 "Embracing Your Unique Process"

28:47 "Embrace Change, Release Old Convictions"

32:27 "Reflections on Acting Habits"

36:47 "Empowered Connection and Growth Events"

38:10 "Joy, Growth, and Fulfillment"

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello and welcome to our first expert episode of season three. The Showbiz Side Hustle Podcast is the pod for performers who know their story doesn't end at the stage door. Because here's the truth we're not just performers. We are creators, leaders, teachers, business owners, and everything else in between. Our skills do not disappear when the curtain falls. Today's conversation is all about mindset, energy and intuition, something that plays a huge role in both performing and entrepreneurship. As you know, this season I'm introducing you to the Performapreneur Associates, your pivot support crew, a hand-picked circle of experts all with roots in the performing industry, who know what support and creativity looks like and how to help you build your business, expand your identity, and simply step into your next chapter with ease. You are listening to the Showbiz Side Hustle Podcast, powered by Performapreneur. Here with me today to share her expertise is Buxo, a West End actor and spiritual coach who helps people reconnect with their authentic self, clear blocks, and move forward with clarity and confidence. As performers, we're used to following direction and external expectations, but existing outside of the industry can prove difficult. Pivoting and building a business requires us to trust ourselves and our instincts in a completely new way. So in this episode, we will tap in to Bookso' Superpowers, where she will guide us and shine her light on all the things that can support you in your next spotlight. Please welcome drum roll please to Bookso. Hello, my lovely. Thanks for having me today. Absolute pleasure. I'm so excited to share you with our listeners today. So let's jump straight in because there's so much you and I can talk about and there's so little time. So tell us first and foremost who you are in your performer guise. What does that look like for you? When, where, and how?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Right. So I work as an actor and have done for the last sort of 18 years, went into it quite late at the age of 37. So now at 53, it's almost like, well, I guess a lifetime compared to actors that go in at 18 and 19 who kind of give it a rest in their 30s. I can imagine that that is where I'm probably at right now in my stage of the career.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

So West End, um theatre, sorry, West End and um film as well. So give us and TV. Come on, do some name dropping books. So what can we find you in?

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Well, uh to make it easy, um, I've been in all the soaps. So you know, when I say this to people, they'll like mention one, and it's like, yes, yes, yes. I have been in all the soaps except Holby, that ended before I had a chance to uh step on those uh uh sets. Uh I've done the West End in 2015 for Bendit Light Beckham, and then I've done sort of movies. Uh last year was one called uh Urchin, which is an independent, but directed by an amazing guy. Um who's uh a very, very well known actor, Harris Dickinson. It was his directorial debut, so uh that was quite a privilege to be in that. But yes, Aladdin, people will know Aladdin. I've been in that a cameo role nonetheless, but um, yeah, Guy Ritchie directed that, and I had always wanted to be in a Guy Ritchie film. I just kind of hoped it'd be something along the lines of you know, um, what is his films called? The the gangster ones. I just wanted to be a bad bitch in one of them.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

But instead, you're a bad bitch in life in Aladdin.

unknown 3:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Um so a very diverse, exciting career, and like you say, something that happened later on in your life. Um, so give us a little bit of insight what was happening before the performing career, and then what was happening after that.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

So I had uh I used to work for the railway, so I was about 20, early 20s when I went into the railway. I left school with no qualifications, so for me, starting out at the bottom was always going to be the thing, the bottom of the rung, and work my way up. And I've kind of had that mentality uh throughout the acting as well. And having not had any formal education with the acting either, I always felt that I needed to start at the bottom. But before that, like I say, I was in the railway and then I had twins, got married, and so life kind of took over. I couldn't go back to the railway because I didn't have part-time working 23 years ago. And so I was just went from pillar to post, hall centre, beauty therapy, here, you know, all like a pinball in a machine, just all over the place. And I still wasn't satisfied with what was being presented. So I just thought, you know what, I I quite I still want to be sort of onset and do a bit of uh something related to acting. So I'll go into background work, and so I went into being an extra, and that was in 2007. Because I thought, you know what, that's the best I'll ever get. I haven't got any qualifications. I live in Derbyshire, I've got no chance of getting any sort of acting career now. So I went into background work and did that for a year, and I loved it. I really did love it to the point where, you know, living in Derbyshire, I would travel to Bolton, which is a good two hours, maybe a bit longer at peak time, which what it is what it is what it ended up being when I got up there. And I travelled every day for two weeks, round trip there and back up to Bolton, probably earning£100 a day, but having 20 of it taken in fuel, you know, and leaving home at half six to get on set for half eight, uh, well, to get there for Hob State and probably not be seen or used till one in the afternoon or something. Do you know what I mean? So I kind of felt I did my apprenticeship through background work like for that year, and people massively look down on being uh background artists when they go into the performing arts industry, and you know, for me, I've got the utmost um respect for them because essentially they do get treated a bit like shit, not gonna lie, they really do. And I I I always knew my place on set, and there are some idiots that are extras that didn't know their place and would be and show up in spaces and places and say things that were just totally like, be quiet, you know. So you you saw a lot. I saw a lot from that side of things. So when a year later I had the opportunity and was introduced to an agent by a friend of mine that was on a show being produced, and he was a runner on that, and met this agent who had just set up an agency. Um he got taken on by him and he mentioned my name. He mentioned my name, and I don't know how he sold me to him, but he did, and I went down and auditioned for him, and I did something out of uh Chicago. I played one of Roxy's um monologues, which I didn't know what a monologue was. Yeah, I just wouldn't do uh Roxy. I'd probably do uh Mama, what's the what's the name of the woman? Yeah, I'd have probably done her, and I would still do that today. But at that time I didn't know that you're supposed to go and do a bloody monologue of the the the kind of role that you'd be expected to be cast in. Anyway, I delivered it to him, forgot my lines, and messed up, and but he gave me direction and he said, Go back and do that again, do it like this. Um, you're angry, you're sad, you know, and kept changing my and I responded. So I took direction, which it ultimately may come be maybe one of the things later on that you ask or allude to. But to take being as an actor, performer, whether you are on stage or on the small screen or whatever, you if you can't take direction and give them what they want, you really are. It doesn't matter where you've been or how many years of experience you've had, and the bestest of drama schools and accolades, if you can't get take direction, you ain't uh any use to them. Although there are some directors out there that are pretty shit at giving direction as well.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

Well, they expect you to have all of that and more. But and you do, because you've proved that um in a very different way with that tenacity that we see in all performers and all entrepreneurs, actually, which is why I believe performers make the best entrepreneurs. That kind of just pushing through, doing what you need to do, learning as you go, um taking the knockback, pivoting, using what you've been given and building on it. So you've just in that short amount of time just really, you know, uh encompassed that so well.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think you know, I'm kind of glad I didn't get tainted. And I say tainted because I've come across so many actors uh in in these years that do go for the drama school, and you know, I wouldn't say I would never have done it if I'd been given the chance, just for the experience, like uni. You go, you know, you go to uni never intending to do the thing necessarily that you're studying, but you go for the experience, right? And I think I would have loved to have had the experience, but I do think a lot of the experience that people have in these places massively impacts their reality when they are out there and they have this heightened state of expectation. And the one thing that you're not being taught in drama school, like you wouldn't be, you weren't taught it at school, drama school, uni, you're never taught about the concept of being multifaceted and what to look for, maybe in 15 years' time and start working towards you know, exiting because people are like, leave, I've only started, you know what I mean? And they lose their marbles over it because it's like you think I may as well start failing now before I've even started. And it's given a bad rap, I think, of not being able to think outside of the entertainment box because being told for so many years, probably that if you're not taking it seriously, if you're not focusing 100%, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

And ladies and gents listening, you now understand why Bookso is in my inner circle, why she is the performerpreneur associate and part of the pivot support crew because of that last statement, Bookso. We need to change the narrative, we need to make sure that the the industry and people in and pivoting out of it, or already, you know, a past performer understand their responsibility to themselves to uh explore all of the opportunities inside and outside of the industry because we're not being taught it. In fact, we're being told exactly the opposite, like you've said, that you're failing if you're choosing to do something alongside it or instead of it or in the future, and it's absolutely not, it's being sustainable, it's actually evolving, growing, and you can grow forward into any direction you like, or you can take a few steps back and try again. Like it's really there is no right or wrong way to do it, but we aren't being shown um as much as I believe is necessary, all of the opportunities. So that leads us perfectly on to again the reason why I've brought you into the podcast today and into the associate network to share with us what you have done alongside performing, how you can support others to be and become more. And um, I'll leave that to you to go into detail. What is it you do alongside performing now, books?

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Yeah. And I think it's taken me, unfortunately, a life um incident, which we shouldn't really wait for. But I think as performers, we are very reactionary if we aren't told there's an alternative. I mean, after my dad died six years ago, I was gonna throw the baby out with the bathwater, do you know what I mean? I didn't never want to be married anymore, I didn't ever want to be living in you know Derbyshire anymore, I didn't ever want to be an actor anymore. I don't want to, you know, I was stripping away, everything was just falling away because of the identity I'd put on myself and trying to prove myself to my dad. So when that started to happen, I thought I was falling out of love with it and slipping away from it. And I did, I did because grief will do that to us. And then it's only just started to come back this last sort of year, six months to a year with gusto that you know, no, actually, I'll keep my toe in the water and I will keep having auditions. I'll say no more often because I never said no before, never ever said no to an audition. Because I was programmed to think that if you don't say yes, somebody else will and they'll take it from you. But actually, I have so much more, I feel so much more empowered being able to have that uh ability to say no. So, what happened over the last few years? I mean, before um lockdown, I was trained to be a coach and I wanted to make sure I went through the qualification only because I didn't want to say that I hadn't done one, like I hadn't done an acting course or degree or programme. I didn't want to, because I had such imposter syndrome, having not done that, I didn't want to feel that with coaching. So I did the course and then I did nothing with it for three or four years, and then of course lockdown happened, and then I had the time to go into it a bit more and then explored the my spiritual, uh, my spirituality came to the fore massively after my dad died, even more than I've had for 30 years. And I went into a massive awakening, and from that came this urge to launch a magazine and a spiritual lifestyle well-being magazine, because what was out there was shite, absolute, not helping anybody at all. And I've been reading them for 30 years, getting nowhere. And I thought, well, I want to bring something alternative to this um genre, which is what happened. I built the The House of Wisdom magazine, and it's there because I wanted to create, and that was my creative muscle still being flexed, right? Because I design the pictures and the elements and the stories and the interviews that I do with people, and I share the stories of hope and inspiration of from people that have gone through stuff and have come out the other side with the wisdom piece, not just like, and I'm swiving and I'm, you know, gonna get through. It's like, no, this is what I learned from it. Because, like you said, taking responsibility, radical responsibility is essential for all of us. Never mind us as performers. I think it's even more so for us as performers because of the roles that we have. So with the magazine, I've always been somebody who did events before lockdown. Bringing people together is my thing. And for me, working as a waitress in a barman or whatever, it just wasn't, isn't it? That's not something. I need to use my skills to the maximum, not just go into that space which is lazy. For me, it's lazy. It's just lazy, waiting for a phone to ring, waiting for an email audition, whatever. It's lazy. That's got to stop. You can't continue living your life like that. It's essential that you recognize what your skills are and your abilities and really build on them and make them your side hustle. Instead of it, a lot of performers that I know went into property. Not for me. Not for me. See my sister and what she goes through, not for me. So being, like I say, creative with the magazine, putting on events, giving people a microphone to speak on stage. I've now just gonna launch um uh a uh three-month sort of finding your voice and speaking with confidence uh process. I don't want to call it a course because it's not a course, it's a process that you go through. And that's again me answering something that people keep asking me to do or suggesting. And I used to think it was like, you are, everybody's doing speaker courses, why should I? And it was because you've got to own that part of you. Yes, and I've got years of bloody experience working with directors and on stage and amongst, you know, actors that are massively revered, and I should actually be embracing that and not see it as being, you know, corny. I've got to embrace it.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

100%. And you've just spoken about transferable skills, in and we've all got them in abundance, and it's about identifying them. One part of the performance process is to identify all of your superpowers and all of those that are transferable, and more of them than anyone even dares to believe can move into new identities and realms. Absolutely. So you've taken your stage presence, your voice, your understanding of direction, your creativity, and you've put that into a speaker programme, you've put that into um the magazine, and then you have got your spiritual side that you've touched on as well, and you help people um get through blocks. Talk to us about the spiritual guidance piece.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

So from I'm sort of like so. I'm a kind of like uh as I said to my husband, does spiritual advisor sound naf? And he said, Well, he tried to make it sound like I'm the advisor to the president. It makes you feel like I said, let's no, let's not take it there. Advisor doesn't necessarily mean somebody that's like in the upper echelons of politics. But I am essentially because everything I've done to date has been on my own, fumbling through. And I wouldn't want anybody else to experience that alone. So I would say actually, I am a spiritual advisor and mentor. So I mentor people through their spiritual journeys to help the lost to get found. Because a lot of us that go into industry, when we get older, we realise actually we are feeling that disconnect. And this is what I get people to do. I get folks to connect to the truth of who they are, which is the higher self. That part of us that gives us those intuitive nudges and the gut thing. And when you become disconnected from that, you it shows up through sort of um excessive behavior, whether it be drugs, alcohol, or anything to the excess, that's when you become disconnected. And, you know, it's been made to look very fashionable in the industry, like oh, he likes to drink or she likes to do drugs or whatever. And it doesn't have to be that way. And I think the new generation of performers that are coming through are of the ilk that really need to tap into this because they are so expansive in their consciousness, they don't know that yet. Their parents don't know anything about that, their peers don't know anything about it, but they feel different. And there could be a lot of performers, you know, of my age and your age that are feeling that and have felt that all their lives. It's no, it's no uh accident that um those the those of us that uh work within the light, shall we say, or energy work, go into performing because we are messengers. We are messengers, but we just choose this channel to give a message through expression, creative expression. And actually, when you think about all the greats that have written amazing songs like the Beatles, they've been quoted as saying, you know, I just channeled this shit sound, and they just use that word, and it's been like not even thought of in depth. But actually, when you are really connected, unfortunately they use drugs to connect to that part of themselves, but you don't have to, is what I'm saying. And it's essential that I feel people know that they can get help with that, and there's nothing more fulfilling, liberating, empowering than being connected to self.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

I've got goose pimples because I have spoken about these things with you over the years as well, and have done some of my own work to find myself. I think because, like you say, but for a long time, we are doing all the things that we are told to do in the industry, and we become disconnected to self. And I think that's the bottom line. You have to audition for this, you have to have a side job that's in a bar, you have to be in that line, you have to smile and stand on the back row and kick your leg to 45 or 90 degrees or however high. They're telling you, like it's all very much, like I said in the intro, dictated to us. Um, and that works for a portion of us and and the the direction we want to go. But there's the other few of us that very early on feel very disconnected from that. And if you've read my um handbook listeners, you will read that story in the beginning of that as well. So let's just jump to an ad break there, book so nice little segue there about the the Showbiz Side Hustle Handbook. If you're evolving from performer into entrepreneur, whether your Showbiz Side Hustle is just taking shape or already building momentum, this is the roadmap for you. The Showbiz Side Hustle Handbook is exactly what I wish someone had handed me when I started my business journey 20 years ago. Inside, I guide you through my performapreneur success strategy, including identifying your transferable skills, understanding your ideal client, positioning yourself as an authority in your niche, and building visibility so you can show up confidently and consistently. It's practical, it's honest, and it's written specifically for performers navigating the entertainment industry now and what lies beyond it. If you're ready to increase your income, support your industry career, and secure your future, grab your copy of my best-selling book, The Showbiz Side Hustle Handbook, via the link in the show notes below. Coming back to that point, being disconnected from self, I didn't understand what that maybe was at the point. Um, but on reflection, having done the work, having grown, having met people like yourself who can, you know, speak of it and teach it in such a clear way, um, I know that it was a big disconnect from who I wanted to be and who I could be, my potential, um, even though I was very um talented in the areas that I was performing in. And so then I pivoted and became the the entrepreneur that I am now, multi-passionate and um mentor, coach like yourself, wanting other people to have the exit strategy that they need. And that's not me or you pushing it onto anybody, just opening the door and saying if and when you're ready, you have support because you said something actually earlier, Bookso, that you did everything alone, and that's hard work, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Everything. Everything. Oh my god. I mean, this industry is lonely at the best of times. You know, when you when you walk into like the audition room and you have those feelings of whatever coming up for you when you look at all the people waiting for the same role that you're going for and making all the comparisons and stuff, you know, you I apparently people have said that when they're at drama school, they are told nobody is your friend in that audition room. You're not there to make friends. Do you know what I mean? And drilling that into people yet, it's so sad that that is being forced upon youngsters and but because you are young when you're going through that, right? We're such malleable individuals at that time and so impressionable that actually that's what starts the disconnect. That's what starts the process. Of a person disconnecting from people in the audition room and whatnot. I mean, I get it if you've got a lot of lines that you're going to be delivering soon, or you've got a routine that you really need to think about and you can't be chitty-chatty, and I get that. Some people chat out of nerves, you know, because they can't not. And this is why it was essential, I think. And how nice to have somebody that you could just watch that voice note and before you go into audition and saying, you know, oh God, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling that, and just having them talk you off the ledge. Who's who who knew you could have that? Wow. If I could have just done that with somebody and said, Oh my god, I'm gonna go with this, I'm really shitting myself. There's somebody in this room, and I think she's gonna get it. You know, you're doing all these spiralling thoughts, and all you need in that moment is not somebody to blow hot hair up your ass and say, get you're amazing at this, you're you've got every chance. You know, it's just about taking them out of that spiral and just getting them back into their lane again because you start to go over the lines, don't you? Into the other lanes, and you're like it's your cars going all over the place, and it's like, no, no, no, no, get steering back into your space. This is all you need to be thinking of right now, you know, and even breathing, do breath work and doing a bit of a process or tapping, because that's also something that I know massively helps an individual to move through a process. That's what we need, little things that help us like that in those moments.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

And so then somebody like yourself and the fact that we've got you in our support crew, in the associates, would be able to guide the listener, guide the person that needed that into finding these skills, understanding how to use them and retaining them and being that person. But equally, future-proofing by having the skills and the understanding of what we can do to support ourselves and our nervous systems, right? I mean, there's a lot going on in the world, in the industry, in our lives, um, at each stage of our lives. So to me, this sounds essential for just living. But so why are we not taught this?

SPEAKER_00 23:52

It's the because because it's too empowering. Do you know what I mean? It's too empowering in like with anything, you know. I mean, I'm not using this as the only reason, but from the far-reaching tentacles of what it is to create division through fear, this is what they do. It's and it also permeates into these schools, you know, drama schools and dance schools, whatever, where you permeate the fear basis. Because if you keep people feeling scared about something or fearful, oh, I'm gaining too much weight, oh, I'm not slim enough, oh I'm more controlled, aren't I? I'm more open to that. What do I need to do? Desperate, desperate. And you're putting the power outside of yourself when actually it's something that people need to be really conscious of is happening around them. I'm not here to take on the world, for God's sake, but just having that in a knowing and that knowledge, the self-knowing that I'm not buying into this bullshit that's going on. I know I'm bloody good at what I do because I have spent years training in it and I practice and I do all the work because a lot of the times I'd go into auditions feeling like I wasn't going to make it through, or it was I stood no chance because I haven't done the homework. I hadn't spent as long as I should have done or could have done learning the lines. Granted, I am somebody that given a script three weeks before, I will look at it three days before. Do you know what I mean? It's how I operate, and I used to beat myself up over that. But I think it's essential when you get to know yourself that that's how I operate. I function better under that pressure, right? Well, some people, like my daughter, need to be getting the thing and going over it for hours and hours and hours for days and days before the thing for them to feel that they are prepared. But yeah, that's essentially it. It's taking your power back, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 25:28

It reminds me of that figure skater from the Winter Olympics this year that went on and won. And she basically just was just encompassing joy. That's what she was saying. I'll find the interview and I'll link it below. Um, she took the pressure off it all, exactly what you're saying. She knew she could do it, she knew she could have skills. I think she told her father that he had to not be in the rehearsal rink and things like that. He was too much pressure, he was he was adding too much to it. She was just gonna take what she knew she could do and just enjoy it. And it's such a simple statement, and you think, well, gosh, that should be what we're all doing all of the time. But it's so far from what we do live in a reality, the pressure and the the all of those bits, and just forgetting that actually essentially we're here to do what brings us joy.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Oh, and if we just went into every scenario, whether it's a job interview, an audition, um, a new meeting, you know, you've you're scared, you're turning up on your own, there's a new space that you want to start getting involved, and just going and deciding, because it's always about a decision in that moment. You know what? I have no expectation. I'm just gonna go in. I'm just gonna enjoy this new thing, you know, that I'm going to about to experience. It's just about reminding yourself, why am I doing this? I just want to enjoy myself, actually, more and more and more.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Yeah. And so talking of joy then and the spiritual journey you've been on and the joy you still now have for the industry, you've come back to it and you're excited. And then the the extra things that you've put into your own life with the magazine and the speaking. Um at what point do you think a performer, a performerpreneur, a pivoter, an entrepreneur, even, at what point do you think they really need to be focusing more on what they actually want to be doing and the joy?

SPEAKER_00 27:15

I think for me, it comes when you start to recognize that something's starting to change within you. When you're starting to find like you're annoyed, you're a bit irritated. I've got to do that now. Oh, I've got to learn some lines. Oh, I've got to learn this routine. And it's starting to become a hassle and starting to become an annoyance, an ick. That's when you need to recognize and go within yourself and think, okay, so what's happening here? What's going on? Why am I feeling this? Rather than just blindly going through the motions and getting dragged around by your emotions and feeling the ick and then showing up with that energy in the audition on camera. I know I've done these auditions, feeling the irritation. You know, recently it's like, why are you doing it then, book? So why didn't you just say no? And I'm still gonna get it's still taking me time to get out of that habit to say no. Even though it's been these many years, it's not gonna happen overnight, which is why I implore people to bloody start to think about saying no more often sooner rather than later, because once that starts to happen, you stop, you realize you're not enjoying it anymore, and then it's too late. Then you feel shit, I don't know anything else. What cack, what else can I do? Oh no, I've got to carry on. Oh, I said I was going to, I said I was gonna smash it in this industry, and you start putting yourself up and you're pinning yourself to the wall because you said this five years ago, ten years ago, oh, they'll laugh at me now. But as the great Alan Watts has been known to say, he's no longer with us, he's a great philosopher, and it's always stuck with me. And he's always said, you know, you're not obliged to feel the way you did five minutes ago. Do you know what I mean? And if you are going through a process, like I was massively going through this healing process this last six years, I was so anchored in to the decisions I've made with my whole body during traumatic moments and in trauma years, that I was so invested in that being the thing that I had to do, that it was like I didn't have an option to leave or change my mind. So I really do invite people to consider when you're saying something with conviction, really think about that. And yes, when we're younger, we say it with fire, we say it with brimstone, we say it with all the energy because we've got it, we've got the energy. And as we get older, we don't have that sort of fire uh fuel in our jets. We're not fueled by the same gasoline, shall I say, as the older you get. And I need you to understand that that's okay because your fuel has to change. Because can you imagine if I was full of the same fire that I had at 25, at the 53, the young ones wouldn't stand a chance. So we have to, we have to make sure that we are out of that energetic space for our evolution as well. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 30:00

I absolutely know what you mean. I love it. And I often say every emotion is a clue, and um, you can get some of that fire back once you start identifying what that emotion's actually telling you, what that ick is. And then, like you say, you then diversify your your joy, you diversify your your energy, and then you find more energy for those bits of the things that you want to stick with and do, and then pivot and explore other roles, other identities, other opportunities, which you have gone on to do. Um, I'm just really conscious of the time book, so I'm gonna just do a few quick fire questions. Um best piece of career advice you've ever received.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I didn't necessarily get advice. Do you know why? Because I never asked for it because I didn't think I deserved help. Do you know what I mean? And if I asked for advice or help, it meant I was weak. And I was going through all of this stuff where I needed to be strong, we needed to be strong, and I think a lot of us do this. We don't ask for help or advice. So please do ask for advice and help, but not from a plumber that knows nothing about joinery. Do you know what I mean? Be careful who you're asking the advice from. Make sure the person's done the thing, lives the thing, eats and breathes the thing. Maybe not now, but has done in their time. And know that what they've got to say to you whenever anybody gives you advice is their experience based on how they were showing up, right? That's not your truth. So be wary of whether you need to even need advice. Because sometimes we just get these five, ten people telling us it causes more confusion. So really consider whether it is advice that you need, and are you able to take it on a neutral level?

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Oh, brilliant. And the exact reason why we have the associates, because we have lived and breathed it. But I love that extra end point you made. It is our experience, it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be the same, but it's just certainly a closer experience to, like you say, the plumber or even a parent that hasn't, and you know, they're speaking from a different place of love and protection. Um next quick question. Um, one habit that you wish you'd started sooner.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

One habit. I wish I had, I mean, I say a habit I'd started sooner, not that I've got it now. Uh even now I haven't got it. I wish I had got sort of more in a routine of line learning and it becoming just a thing for me where I didn't leave it till three days before I needed it. I want I would have liked to have had that ingrained in me somewhere that just get into it and shown the how to break down a script. You know, people do things that that breaks a script down. I'd love to have known that habit of what you did with it and how. And then I have an argument with myself because then on the flip side I'll say yes, but then you get too mechanical in how the script is delivered. And you get too I if I read something too much, again, this is when you get to know yourself. I don't do it from a place of natural because one thing I do get commented on a lot is that I'm a natural actor. You're very natural. Every time I'm on set, you say you're you're such a natural, you're natural. Being when people say, Oh, you're such a natural, it doesn't necessarily mean like, oh, it comes to you naturally. It means how your being is natural. It's not fake, it's not acting, you know. It's a really difficult one to explain, but yeah, that's one habit I wish I'd got.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Overanalyzed, I guess, if you read it too many times, so it becomes, yeah, like you say, a bit mechanical, a bit monotonously spoken. Um, something that you think people in our industry should start doing sooner than they do, or just start doing today.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Thinking out of the box. Think out of the box, always think out of the box, but become more critical in your thinking. Don't be so led by your environment. And and also don't hang out with uh performers and entertainers too much. Have that time where you hang out with them and come away and be with Joe blogs more often. Just be normal with normal people more often. That's why I do a lot of networking and events with Joe Buckley. You know, I have nothing to do, I I don't talk about acting, they don't know some of them don't know an actor, because it's essential that you keep that finger on the pulse of reality, which is where a lot of us fall down. And something that people should stop doing. Stop looking outside of yourself for the answers. Um that just comes from a place of insecurity uh because you don't know who you are. So you can you look you can only stop doing that when you start to get more and go more within and ask the questions of yourself and feel into your body. I was so disconnected from my body and I'm not fully connected to my body still, but so disconnected from my body that I wouldn't know when it was making a reaction to something because I'd just so many years ignored it.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yeah, numbed it down. So anybody listening to today's podcast that's thinking, right, I need to know a bit more about Bookso, I'd love to explore working with her. I need some of this understanding, this um permission, because there's a lot of permission that you're saying in here, Bookso. Um, you can reach Bookso through the website performerpreneur.co.uk. You just tap on Bookso's picture on the network, send me an email, I will connect you. Um, and there's a little form to fill out, or Bookso, they can reach out for you directly. That's absolutely fine too. You've got your magazine that they can learn from not just you, but many other influential and incredible people that you are connected to. Um, so please just um we'll put all this in the show notes, but please just tell us a few places we can find you. A couple of links will go into the show notes and the a last kind of thought of who you would encourage to step forward.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

Anybody that's feeling lost, you know you feel lost because you have so much, well you don't have any clarity. You thought you wanted to do this thing, and a few months later it's not the same feeling for you anyway. You're feeling like you're uh a a cork bobbing around in the sea. Uh you're you're lost. And people can get in touch with me, uh mainly through uh Instagram, it's my best one. I um I am bookso dylin. That's B-U-C-K-S-O-D-H-I-L-L-O-N. I am bookso Dylan. Um that's the best way to get hold of me, really.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Yeah, and then come through the website as I say, listen to the podcast, um, and you'll see bookso popping in in and out of my world and me in and out of hers over the next six to eight months as well. You've got a um couple of opportunities for people to come and be in person with you, which I am a massive fan this year of getting in the room. Just um give us a little lowdown on those events as well. So every two months I have, I had it yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Um every two months I have something called uh the empowered connection, where individuals can come together and speak in a space and share stuff that they would never share in their real life with the people that they know, love, and trust because they can't. And the whole point is to connect them to their truth, their real selves. That's why it's called the empowered connection. Normally about 25 people. We meet for three hours on a Monday morning, half nine till half twelve. The next in-person full day is called Be More You, 6th of June. That's here at the Radisson Blue, which I believe you're going to be uh participating in. Nicole on the panel, where invite I've invited people who are, I feel, living their life, being more of who they are, right? I've not arrived at uh at a space, but I live my life being more of who I actually truthfully am. And that's what I encourage other people to do. And inviting other folks to share their journey and how they're doing it is what I feel will help other people to uh be brave enough to do it for themselves. I've also got a well-being expo, March 29th here in Derby, and September the 27th as well, where I've got over 45 exhibitors that will be able to connect you to any spiritual, emotional, mental, physical issues that you have because it's the holistic approach and it's actually all about the wisdom that you now need to know about uh in your journey.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

You've heard it here first, performers. We've got the talent, we've got the tenacity, we now need to connect the dots, find the wisdom, connect to our inner self, be doing all the things, be doing, do all the things that bring us joy, and then expand into those opportunities and circles and friendships and careers that are really going to fulfill us and give us longevity. And Bookso has to rush off, she's a bit very busy lady, but thank you, Bookso, for joining us. You are incredibly inspiring. You've got such a diverse ecosystem of things that you do love and are. And um, I just know that my listeners listening in today will have left this episode inspired. Come and find us, guys, come and ask us any questions. Thank you, Bookso. Big love. Thank you. Bye. Okay, guys, that's it for today. I hope you've enjoyed the show. Thank you for joining me here on the Showbiz Side Hustle Podcast. So, until next time, please do take a little bit of action, that very first step, and make sure that you are doing something for you and your Chaubiz Side Hustle this week to move you forward and get you heading quickly and swiftly and strategically towards success.