The First Task - Allowing The Too-Good-Mother to Die

Edwina Murphy-Droomer and Inarra Aryane Griffyn explore the concept of the "Too-Good-Mother" in their podcast episode, drawing from Clarissa Pinkola Estés' insights in "Women Who Run With The Wolves." They delve into the nurturing role of the "good mother" in childhood, essential for protection and growth, but also discuss its evolution as individuals mature. Inarra reflects on her personal journey, contrasting her mother's absence due to postnatal depression with the supportive presence of her grandmother, Ida. This upbringing profoundly shaped her ability to trust her intuition from a young age, influencing decisions like leaving home early for safety and independence. Both hosts underscore the significance of cultivating inner resilience and trusting one's intuition amid societal pressures.

Furthermore, Edwina and Inarra emphasise the importance of reconnecting with intuition to overcome societal expectations and internalised voices that hinder personal growth. Edwina shares her experiences, reflecting on how psychological challenges and societal pressures during her adolescence, particularly at boarding school, redirected her focus towards conformity rather than personal exploration.

Inarra discusses her methods for nurturing intuition, including practices like breath work and meditation, which she uses to quiet her mind and access deeper insights. She recounts a pivotal career moment as a photographer when, despite external success, she felt unfulfilled. Trusting her intuition led her to transition into unknown waters in the form of property investment, which unexpectedly blossomed.

Both hosts advocate for trusting one's inner wisdom despite external doubts and fears. They critique societal norms that discourage risk-taking in favour of safety, urging listeners to embrace uncertainty and listen closely to their intuition. They argue that doing so can lead to profound personal and professional transformations.

Summary

In summary, their discussion illuminates the transformative potential of intuition and underscores the importance of breaking free from societal expectations to lead a more fulfilling life guided by inner wisdom.

Takeaways

• The initiation of intuition involves letting go of the too-good mother archetype.
• Our relationship with our mothers in childhood and adolescence influences our intuition.
• Trusting oneself and listening to one's intuition is essential for personal growth.
• Different methods, such as journaling, breath-work, and meditation, can help connect with intuition.
• It is important to let go of the too-good mother voice that holds us back and embrace audacity and calculated risks. Trust your intuition and follow your own truth
• Tune out external influences and listen to your internal wisdom
• Technology can hinder our ability to trust ourselves and make decisions
• Identify where you feel most alive and where you hold yourself back

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Background
• 2:25 Mother-Child Relationships in Childhood and Adolescence
• 6:04 Encouraging Trust in Oneself and Intuition

Transcript

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (00:02.014)
Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back. Edwina here with Inara and tonight we are diving into the very first task, the initiation of intuition. So if this is the first episode that you're tuning into, I do highly encourage you to go back and have a little listen to the story of Basilisa. Hopefully you've heard our introductory episode.

Listen to the reading of Vassalissa because that's gonna set you up to understand what we're talking about tonight. So the first task of the initiation of intuition in the Vassalissa story is talking about the two good mother. Clarissa, the author of Women Who Run With The Wolves talks about allowing the two good mother to die.

And I think the most important thing to understand as you dive into this work, it's really important to continue reminding yourself that this is about, this is internal work. So this is about the psyches, you know, we've got these many different psyches that operate within us. And many people are familiar with

the muse and the goddess and the mother and the warrior and like all these different archetypes. And sometimes you'll hear different archetypes in women who run with the wolves. We're talking about the wild woman. I think of her as the natural woman. And so as you're thinking about these different psyches in this first task, we're talking about the two good mother. And I've got a little bug that's just flown in front of my face.

So I think if we start with understanding and thinking about it, it's very easy to think about the mother and the two good mother in the very early days of childhood. We have the necessary role of the good mother. And perhaps Inara, you can talk about your relationship with your mom in those early...

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (02:25.15)
early phases. I know for myself, my mum was just so excited. She found it very, very difficult to have children. And so she was very excited to have babies and she had three daughters all very close together. And she was amazing at that role of being very vigilant and watching and hovering and being very present, which is the role of the good mother when we're too young.

to do those things for ourselves to watch out. We don't have a sense of danger. We need somebody else to watch out for that for us. But then there is a period of time which we look at in adolescence. So roughly from sort of 10 to 19, where if that good mother doesn't start to back away and allow the growing woman, the growing intuition.

to start to play a role in being a guide for us, then that's where we start to run into problems. So perhaps Inara, what was your first experience and do you have particular reflections of that phase in your life?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (03:44.276)
Well, I have memories that go all the way back to babyhood, which is kind of amazing. And I had a mom who had postnatal depression. So she was capable in terms of she's a doctor, so she could do the things that kept me going. But there was another side which was very absent.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (03:56.574)
Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (04:10.1)
And so I've got a split of mothers. Her mother, Ida, became my mother. And Ida, as I remember her, was the one who often I stayed with as a baby and really as a toddler as well. She was the ultimate feminine, you know, good mother in a way. And my mother was not so the good mother. My mother was a bit of a

problematic mother, you know, and we hear about this all the time, the devastation of postnatal depression and how, well, I was an accident first and she was in medical school. So I interrupted something. Yeah. I was an interruption and not that I feel any of this in a sort of negative way. I've done tons of healing throughout my life around this stuff, but it's just fact that the bond was not

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (04:55.262)
Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (05:08.82)
created so much with my mother. And, you know, I almost feel like guilty talking about this. It's like, I hope she never listens to the podcast, but it's like, you know, it is like that. But her mother took over the role of that. And so I was, in a way, it's a bit like the Africans farmed out to the tribe and brought up by the tribe, you know, and the other mother was, was the one I really emotionally connected with.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (05:16.99)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (05:38.238)
Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, it is always interesting having these conversations and I, in my mind, I come to a place of, it's never from a place of criticism, you know, with our own moms, it's just from a place of, you know, where we're supposed to learn from our life experiences and our mothers learn things from their mothers and grandmothers and

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (05:39.188)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (06:03.838)
So that's how they've made decisions and each generation we're supposed to be learning things and trying out different things. And some of the things, you know, as a mom myself, some of the things I did, I did really well. And some of the things I wish I had the foresight to do things differently. And it's never about blame or it's just, it's the learning the lessons. And I think.

if nothing else, people take away from this podcast. It's that, it's about this ability to look at all our stories and learn the lessons in them, the wisdom in them. And the wisdom comes from the bits that we get wrong, just as much as the bits we get right. I think, you know, when we think about this period of adolescence, I think very much in the Western world through schooling and through the way that

that parents are encouraged to parent. I think teenagers are seen and I, you know, I'll talk just from personal reflection for myself that my teenage years, I don't really see that there was a lot of work done in encouraging me to trust myself. You know, if I think about the questions that I feel we should be asking,

adolescence. So this is where one's just reminding people this is where we're building connection to our intuition.

There's not a lot of work done and there wasn't for me in rather than just answering questions. It's like, what do you think I should do? You know, like my career or do you think I'm pretty enough or do you think I'm good at this sport or what do you think of my artwork or like it's always looking for this external validation rather than well, what do you think? And are you happy with it? And do you like it? Because that's the bit that really matters.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (08:04.926)
And that is how we start to build this connection to our own truth and our own intuition and our own guidance system. And my story is that that was a very, that didn't develop at all until I was in my, you know, mid to late thirties. And I've told that story of when I finally kind of had to stand on my own two feet in a big way. So I think it's really important as

people listen to this story as you start to think about where and when did I start to learn to trust myself? And I think if I think back about decisions that I made in relationships and men that I connected myself with, I think there was a bit of the, I don't think, I know there was quite a lot of rebellion in that. And perhaps if

the questions had have been placed more around, are you kind of picking up any red flags? Even like, what's your gut telling you about this? Does it really feel right for you? I feel like my responses probably would have been different to what are you thinking? You're mad. This is ridiculous. Do you, you're making such a dumb decision because that just made me want to hang on more.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (09:31.252)
Thank you.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (09:33.054)
So, you know, these are all the little ways that we start to connect to our own intuition and our trust for ourselves and our own guidance systems. So perhaps what's coming up for you, Inara, what are you thinking as I say that?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (09:53.844)
Well, I was wild in my teenage years, and I'm not talking the natural woman I'm talking like wild in rebellion to a lot of this previous behavior that went on. I think that I started trusting my intuition very strongly because I didn't trust hers. Right. So it was a very early

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (10:01.982)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (10:08.862)
Mmm.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (10:20.212)
I was moved around quite a lot between my grandparents and also countries back and forth to Canada. And what that led to was very early traveling on my own, very early, I would say adventures, being very adult on a certain level of being able to travel somewhere and just have some guidance. But that was all, you know, the rest of it was me. It was my intuition.

And when I left home, it's a classic example of, I'm not doing this anymore. And so I left home at, in an argument at one in the morning when I was 18, I had nowhere to go. And I ended up staying with my boyfriend at the time without his parents actually knowing that I was living in the house for a month.

while it got sorted out, while my father was saying to me, no, no, no, you have to go back. And I was like, well, you left. So I am definitely leaving. You know, this is, there's no way. And so I ended up having this, the guidance system was to safety. That was the main thing. It was to safety and to a kind of safety that I had with all acceptance that came from IDA. IDA was the, was the morning star for me. Where can I find the acceptance?

And leaving like that and staying, I mean, it was just crazy. We even moved our feet in the same way to walk up the stairs. So we had the creek. So we were one person when I was living with this boyfriend. You know, once his mother came into the room and he just threw a pile of laundry over me. It was that kind of thing for a month. It was crazy. And yet I knew I was doing the right thing. It was like, get out.

And the same thing has come up for me many times because of this honing of intuition. When things become disconnected, tough or whatever, I will have that inner strength to go, you know what? I'm gonna actually leave country. That's what I did when I left Canada and came back to England. I'm gonna put myself into a safer position.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (12:37.684)
And that's been something all through my life. And it means that I can travel on my own. I've traveled a lot to, you know, people will often reflect this, like as a white blonde woman, how can you possibly go to places like Africa and India and all of this? I've had no problem ever traveling to the wilds of the world as this, because inside the inner resilience is so strong, you know, I'm like, and I love.

difference. I love different culture. I think that came from very early days of feeling unsafe at home. Yeah. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (13:14.366)
Yeah, interesting. Yeah, so I think it's just that ability to turn that, like when we think about the two good mother on the inside, it's like, it's the hovering, the voice within that hovers and is ever watching for danger, ever watching for criticism, ever watching for getting things wrong. And...

when we can see that voice for what it is, the too good mother that constantly wants to keep you safe, constantly wants to keep you, you know, don't stick your head up too far. It's that voice. When we can see that for what it is, that's the maturity that says, no, you know, like it's worth taking a risk here. It's worth traveling to that country. It's worth having a conversation. You know, it's like the don't talk to strangers.

it's worth talking to strangers. It's that the audacity to, you know, to trust yourself, because we know within ourselves from life experience, the voice inside that says, yeah, this isn't a good person to be around versus the, this is somebody that's interesting. And you just get to trust that knowing in ourselves. She, Clarissa talks about

she's got a sort of a list of the questions. And once again, I really do encourage everybody listening to this to have a copy of the book, because it makes it so much richer if you can get in and read it before or after we have these conversations, because from your own life stories, you're going to take away so many different things from this than Inara and I will necessarily cover because...

It's so particular to everybody's individual story, how this, the things that will pop into your mind.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (15:12.734)
There was a few things that I highlighted. So the arresting of a woman's intuition process occurs for various reasons, such as when there has been too much psychological hardship early in one's life, especially when there's been no consistent good enough mother in the early years. So from my experience, that was, you know, my adolescence was very much in boarding school.

And so the constant voices in my head were voices that were telling me what to do rather than asking for my own kind of curiosity on things. And this can go to so many different levels, you know, rather than it's, you know, there's sort of the expectation that you will follow a particular religious path or political path or follow.

you know, even even particular sporting teams or whatever it is, there's this expectation from from family or society or community that you're going to follow a certain path and rather than stopping to ask opinion and being really accepting of a different opinion, it can often cause exclusion or

a lack of willingness to really sort of step outside the path that everybody else is on. So this conversation is really about looking at those things with curiosity again.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (16:46.814)
For these as well as other adult women, for the rigors of life itself, chip and distance themselves from their deeply intuitive lives and whose plain is often, I'm so tired of taking care of myself. There is a good and wise remedy. A reaffirming of a retracing or reinitiation will reset the deep intuition, regardless of a woman's age.

And it is a deep intuition that knows what is good for us, knows what we need next and knows it with lightning speed if we will just take down its dictation. So this is, you know, you've, I'm sure got your own methods of tuning into your intuition. And I know it's something that has taken me time and persistence to

start to really connect and trust and listen to that intuition. But for me, it happens most profoundly through journaling. I'm always surprised at what comes out if I just make myself write for like three pages or for half an hour or 20 minutes. What starts to come out is like this, where did that come from? So what are your, what are your favorite methods, Inara?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (18:08.628)
Well, because I've done so much yoga and meditation, excuse me, over the years, breath work is a really big one for me. And stilling the mind because I've got a big mind and communication is firing always. Right. And so for me, we, we just do breath work just before we come on this podcast to speak. And I do that a lot.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (18:17.63)
you

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (18:38.324)
in life before big things like public speaking or whatever. It just settles me into a place where I can really tune in. When I go deeper with it, with meditation, I realized, and this is quite deep, I realized after a certain while, and it's not long, I will get like a floating cloud, like a smoke signal going on right in front of my third eye. When I'm in that mode, that level,

that I go to, I can ask questions that are incredibly deep. And I use a lot of this kind of work in the work that I do with entrepreneurs. But by example, I'll tell you a little story of, you know, a really big one for me was I had been a professional photographer for 15 years at this point. And I had this nagging, continuous conversation that

whenever I was doing it and I was successful, this was the other thing. It wasn't that I wasn't successful. It was actually, I was very successful and I was still having this thing which was like, it's not quite it and I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. So I gave some space to that, I don't know what it is piece and...

It had happened for so long. And whenever I opened up a conversation with other peers or friends or family, they'd be like, you know, forget about it. You're a great photographer. Life is good. You're living in London. You're doing what you want. And they would talk me out of it. So finally, because there was no reason for them to understand the depths of this thing on a Christmas Eve, I was looking over the Thames from a James Bond style flat.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (20:16.318)
you.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (20:31.508)
And if you took a snapshot, click, it looked like success. It was, she's got it. And in that moment, I went, that's it. I'm not going to do this anymore. When I, when I am due to come back in the new year, I won't be coming back. I worked on interiors at that time and I didn't have a clue what I was going to do. I just knew.

that the intuition was saying, that's enough, like stop this cycle. And I work a lot with cycles. So this cycle has ended. So I didn't tell anyone. Then over the Christmas holidays where we were actually off, then I received this email from some entrepreneur group that said it opened, the opening line was, do you want to change your life? And I was like, yes, I do. I had no idea what.

it looked like, but I was just following the leads and the trust of even that inquiry. So I said, yes, I do. I filled in a form online, which was this thing like just, you know, describe a house, a villa or whatever it is in detail. I put in the scent in the kitchen, all the curtains, you know, everything here comes the cat, panther Griffin. And then I sent it off to them.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (21:29.726)
you

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (21:53.972)
The next day I get a phone call from these guys who are in the States, of course. And they said, you are a classic entrepreneur. I'd never thought of myself like that, but it was through the, the answers that I'd given. And they said, we would like to invite you, of course, to enter this program.

And the thing that I felt with all of it, it could have been so cheesy. It could have been such a salesy thing, but I just trusted it. I trusted the guy on the end of the phone. I trusted that they knew what they were doing, that they wouldn't invite a complete idiot into this. And I had four choices and I chose property. I'd never done property before in my life. I entered the...

I entered the course, basically they said, do you have six grand? I was like, nope. He said, do you have a credit card? I was like, yep. And it was like, it was everything my mother would tell me not to do, you know, everything. And I just went, yes, yes, yes. It felt great in my body, which is a real house of intuition for me. And at the three months, Mark, the homework was to go and buy a flat in London. And I was like,

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (22:58.91)
you

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (23:11.828)
kidding me, right? Like who asks you to do that? And yet I did. I knew all the figures. I figured, you know, I understood it. So he said to me at this point, if you can't do this bit, then you're not able to do calculated risks, which is exactly what your profile is calculated risks. And so I did it. And to shorten that next period, really when it was valued after it was a 12 year process, I had a 10 million.

pound portfolio. And that's only one bit of the many times that I've gone, it's time to stop this particular moment. And it's a great example because I give it to some of the entrepreneurs I work with, because it wasn't like I knew that I was going into property at all. I had no history of it, none. But the instinct was so strong. It was like,

something is not right here anymore. And for me, I would say that no is more important than yes sometimes. The no's that you're getting, you know, what are your strong no's? It's like a boundary that starts to come in where it's like no longer, that's it. You know, stop this, phase over, new chapter waiting and voila, you know, off we go. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (24:11.902)
Mm.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (24:34.842)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, and I think that, you know, it's that ability to recognize when the too good mother within us is holding us back. It's the too good mother within us that says, don't, you know, like, wait, wait for the walking. That's one of my favorites, you know, like you, you stand.

across from people at a walkway, crossing the road and there's no cars coming from miles on either side, but everybody will stop and wait for the red man to turn green and start flashing before we can cross the road. It's that kind of thing. It's like, well, you know, everybody says I shouldn't. And even though you can see there's no car for a mile in either direction, we all stand and wait. And so that's the training within us, that to good mother that would rather keep us

small and safe and tucked away in a little cocoon where we can never get hurt or be embarrassed or have a failure or make a mistake. That too good mother voice within us that we need to have the trust in ourselves to go, okay, so I'm not listening to that. What's my intuition telling me? This is, it's time to leap. It's time to take a risk. It's time to be daring. It's time to

grab hold of a bit of audacity and go, what does it, you know, really, what does it matter if I fail at this? What's the worst that can happen? At least I've had a go and my intuition is telling me this is something to go for. I think that's the, you know, like that's the story that you've just shared is an example of that, of that ability to let go of that too good mother voice that says, my gosh, I'm sure they're just, you know.

They're just trying to take your money. You know, it's too good to be true, that voice.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (26:32.756)
Full of it, yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (26:36.062)
The voices that say things like, don't say that, or you can't do that, or well, you're certainly not one of my children friends peers if you do that, or it's dangerous out there, or who knows what will become of you if you insist on leaving this warm nest, or you're just gonna humiliate yourself, you know, or even more insidious still, pretend you are taking risks, but secretly stay here with me.

So that's page 84 of women who run with the wolves. And I feel like if you pull some of those examples out and think of them in your own life, because it is so often the case that we just hold back and just wait and just think, I don't know, what would so and so say or what would so and so think or what if I fail or what if it goes wrong or what if, and then that's

from that place, we just stay in this fairly stuck, mundane existence. So the question gets to become, you know, what is my gut telling me? What is my intuitive knowing? What is my truth? What is right for me? Does this feel right? Yes or no? And just trusting, really trusting that voice, that knowing.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (27:56.084)
And I think even if you, if you can't, you don't know, we can say, just trust. But it's, it's a bit of a hollow statement. I mean, I don't know. Well, I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm in the throes of new decisions or whatever, it will catch me in the middle of the night. I'll go for a pee and I'll have the night crazies, the terror that comes in, which is.

a stream of consciousness, all of which is, well, you know, what happens if, my God, that could happen. You know, it goes on like that. And we, and it's like, just trust doesn't actually work at that point. I have to do some work on that. I have to do some of my own work to be able to go back to just stilling that voice, the crazy voice.

And one of the best ones that I've ever heard, piece of advice, which I pull up every time is, what if it goes right? What if it goes right? What if it works out instead of what if it goes wrong? You know, we're so knee jerk, fearful. And I know that another thing that I heard, and I'm not a mother, I'm not that kind of mother anyway, the birth mother, but I remember reading something about

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (28:56.926)
Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (29:17.332)
the tendency for women to say, watch out, be careful, jump off, you know, like that. If we could replace that with well done, out you go, great, you know, fantastic that you're running into the trees, whatever, that energy with the caution of course being like, don't stick your hand in a candle, but.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:24.958)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:29.15)
Yeah. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:36.414)
that. Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (29:44.884)
the rest of it to be like, hey, explore this that we're on planet Earth. It's safe. Nature is good. You know what different children we would have.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:48.798)
Yeah.

And, yep.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:56.862)
Yeah, yeah. It's, I, you know, I hesitate to tell the story, but I do nonetheless in that I actually encourage my kids to light fires. And I will say that with the preface that we were on a farm and you know, like I have a great passion for children to learn the fundamentals of living. So they all learn to use sharp knives and cut up fruit.

from and veggies with me in the kitchen from an early age and they had proper kitchen knives. And we would, I had a flower farm and I would, was constantly pruning and creating little fires and burning things off so that we didn't have excess litter around the farm all the time. And they all learned to light fires and how to make a little teepee with sticks from an early age and light fires.

So yeah, does it, you know, if people take that little snippet out and just have me saying, I taught my kids to light fires, it probably doesn't sound good. But yeah, it is that learning to trust cells in a age appropriate environment, obviously. But,

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (30:58.964)
It's good.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (31:05.3)
was hiding. Yes.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (31:19.828)
And I would say actually to add in there, my grandmother taught me to light a fire, you know, at a very young age, it was necessary. The first person that there was no central heating where she lived. And so the very first thing that you would do when you got up at six in the morning was to light the fire. So we're so far away from that now. And now, ironically, the thing that I see is kids, especially in London,

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (31:26.398)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (31:43.07)
Hmm.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (31:49.748)
on their phone, texting constantly, and they don't even look up while crossing the road. They've got their earphones in. I've seen cyclists just with earphones in blasting music, can't hear a thing, weaving in amongst, but texting. So is that any worse than lighting a fire? It's really, the madness of that is much worse than the learning fire lighting.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (32:17.95)
Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, I've got a friend from Holland and she talks about, you know, getting on trains and traveling from, you know, across countries in her teenage years. And I think now about the apps that I've had on my kids' phones where I can always see where they are, you know, like we can, we can track them and how we have all these devices now where we monitor. And there is a conversation.

that's easily had in our heads about, well, it allows me to not worry and to keep an eye on them and to make sure they're this and that. But at the end of the day, I wonder how many favors we're doing our kids by this constant surveillance and watching. And it's actually not great. And conversely, I've got another girlfriend who grew up in very, very rural Queensland and they would

the kids would disappear for the day, like literally be gone for eight hours into the bush doing things and come back when they were hungry for dinner. And the life lessons and the need to trust intuition and connecting to your own ability to make decisions about keeping ourselves safe and so on is that's when it's developed at that time is just such a gift.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (33:46.036)
Completely. I mean, I remember in Canada as well, you had a little gang on the street. The weather was great. You played with them all day and you never had a phone. That makes us sound ancient. But, and we're not, but it's like the speed with which this technology is taken over now is, is unbelievable. And I think we had a lot of when

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (33:47.006)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:00.478)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:08.414)
Yeah. Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (34:14.004)
When I say, I'm going to meet you at five o 'clock on Friday. I mean, I'm going to meet you at five o 'clock on Friday. And people who text me going, just checking in, you know, just checking in. Like, where are you now? How's it going? Like how's the journey? Are you still coming? Are we still on? I'm like, what the hell? You know, it's like, of course we're still on. I said, I'm meeting you at Friday. You know, that bit is, is very annoying.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:19.678)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:35.614)
And yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (34:41.268)
actually that we've gotten so uncertain. Like could somebody, you know, not they're on a journey, but they decide suddenly to blow you out. Why would they? So there's an uncertainty with more information that has come in where people don't trust, you know, I said what I said, you know, maybe this is all the, you know, the cancel culture. I don't know.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:51.294)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (34:55.102)
you

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (35:00.734)
Mm. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (35:07.062)
Yeah, well, it comes back to this, you know, the more that we learn to trust ourselves, the more trust we have in other people. So when we don't have trust in ourselves, it's hard to put trust in other people. So if we are being flaky and not trusting ourselves to do what we say we're going to do, it's hard to have that trust in other people. So I imagine that that's that's kind of part of the picture. That's what's going on.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (35:34.324)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (35:36.158)
Yeah, so I just had something really profound in my head that decided to have a menopausal moment and fly away. Clarissa talks about in Women Who Run From the Wolves.

She must just simply dive in and stand not knowing what will happen next. And I think this is, you know, this is the most delicious energy to be in. This is when the life force really comes up. I had a, I do vision boards and I did a vision board a few years ago that had a quote on it. And I wish that I knew whose quote it was because I've used it a hundred times, but I cannot find who wrote it.

and I'll try and paraphrase it, but it said, excellence to me is the state of grace that descends when you tune out the clamor of the world and listen instead to the internal voice that you know is wiser than the one in your head and transcribe without fear. And to me, that is intuition. That is when we've got to just tune out the voices of what we think other people might.

say judgments of other people, that noise in the world that we allow to influence our decisions. Just tune all of that out and turn into that inner, lovely inner wisdom that's like, what is this right for me? What is my next best step? And there is a line in my favorite

favorite movie of all time, which is Chocolat with Juliette Bernouche and Johnny Depp. And Judi Dench's character in that movie says, don't worry so much about should. And it's like, that's, that's, that's the line. That's the line for all women. When you just hear so many words like, well, I really should or I shouldn't eat that or I shouldn't use or I shouldn't use like, don't worry so much about should.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (37:38.516)
It's so great.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (37:52.532)
Yeah, it's brilliant. Absolutely. I think if we are in that state of the not knowing, the place where we don't have the answers, we're stepping into the mysteries and that piece is all about surrender, allowing, receiving, and you cannot get all the information by doing, trying, knowing.

You just cannot get it. It's like when we step back in, I worked with a healer who was quite profound and said, we are entering the era of the seventh sense. They talk about the six senses. And this will be inner knowing. And it's definitely intuition where what he was saying was what you'll see on the outside is you'll see politicians or leaders or people who look.

like they are leaders and they aren't. And people who look like they aren't leaders who are. And the distinction with it will be that a knowing, there'll be this knowing. And I think that sense is to know is off in the head. And it's not that kind of knowing. It's the body in insight, deep resonating.

insight, which is intuition, that is like, I know this person looks like they should be in charge of something. And actually all red flags firing is like, we don't have great leaders on the planet right now. And how they're emerging is we are the leaders. You know, we are the leaders and we don't look like, you know, what you, what you see all sort of bundled up into this, this form.

It's like, that's a leader? Come on. You know, instinct going crazy. No, it's like a no to that.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (39:48.254)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like this knowing is the thing that is so agitated within humanity at the moment because there is a knowing that things aren't right. There's a knowing that the voices that are trying to yell the loudest and not saying what's true and what's right.

And it's that knowing that is so agitated that is really what is this epidemic of anxiety and depression and misery within us. That's my theory. Yeah. So I think if we can just take this, this one bit of knowing that we have an internal guided system that wants nothing more than to be open hearted and loving and

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (40:30.324)
a very good series.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (40:46.558)
trusted and for us to be connected again as a humanity that that intuitive knowing that that is the path forward for all of us then you know it is just it is us learning to to hear that voice and actually follow the direction that it's giving us it's it's going to be it's going to be the thing that will make the difference across the entire planet.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (41:14.388)
And I think for the listener, for you out there, it could be a great moment in this conversation to just shut your eyes and take a few breaths and ask yourself, what is rising up from a very deep place? You know, are you in the right relationship? Are you eating the right food? Are you

in the right job or are you missing out on some level of creation because you think you should? I mean, I hit a lot of that with people who are in the corporate world and they cannot see any other way forward. They know they've got this huge body of work that is bubbling up under the surface that wants to be released.

And they're so fearful of, well, what does it mean about the check at the end of the week, you know, or the end of the month? So you can tap into this very easily by just shutting your eyes, taking some breaths in stillness or in nature, going for a walk and asking yourself those questions. What is bubbling up for you under the surface? Is there something, and I think another way of looking at it, which I love this, if you imagine it's the last day,

on earth for you. And it's been a great life. This is not a sad story, but you're on to another adventure. And when you look back, is there anything that you regret? And from that perspective, you'll know exactly right now where you are limiting yourself, where you're holding back with the good mother. People who are on their last, on their deathbed, really, they don't look at

They look at what they didn't do. That's the thing that comes up. It's like, I wish I had been more, I wish I had had more relationships. I wish I'd been more outgoing. It's all those, it's all those regrets. You don't want to live a life of regret. So you can feel it right now. What is bursting to come out and then make that first step, which is acknowledging it.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (43:34.334)
Yeah. Yes. I always think of, you know, like, am I choosing from love or am I choosing from fear? And we've got these sort of three fundamental fears as we get to the ages that we're at. And it's the fear of dying. It's a real fear. The fear of living, as in if I, you know, if I...

say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, wear the wrong thing, make the wrong decision. There's that fear of living that stops us from making decisions to move forward. And then there's the other one, which is actually the healthiest. And that is the fear of not living, which is that fear that when we get to the end, it's like, but I should have taken that trip or I should have had, you know, like, I let go should, I wish that I had, you know, like all the, I wish that I'd done that. I wish that I'd

kiss somebody passionately at the top of the Eiffel Tower or what are the wishes? And that's that fear of not living. And so then when you actually make the choice to do it, that is choosing from love, from love for your life, love for living life to the fullest. So yeah, I think that's a really great way to look at the decisions that we're making.

Clarissa finishes up this chapter with, there is a wild mother waiting to teach us, but in the meantime, the second task is to hold onto the doll while we learn to use it. So we're gonna be diving into that conversation next. Inara, is there anything that you wanted to add before we wrap up tonight's conversation about the two good mother?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (45:25.716)
I think just it's time to become aware of this. You know, my path as a high priestess, which I haven't talked about in great detail, one of the things is I have to get to know people, not with goal orientation in mind, like you must do this thing or whatever. It's like, where are your deepest alivenesses coming from?

you know, where do you feel most alive? And then I watch, where do you hold yourself back? And that would be a great starting point right now, I think, for people. It's like, for the listeners, where do you feel most alive and where do you hold yourself back? And that in itself is a big body of work. Yeah, so I would.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (46:17.566)
Yeah. And it is so, so fun to do. So fun to do when you start unlocking that and creating that picture. It's a magical journey. So thank you for tuning in with us again for this first task in initiating the intuition. I hope that you not only listen, but take some time to do something with what you've heard tonight. Thinking about not only your experience of your mother,

but also the internal to good mother within you that isn't trusting you, that isn't connected to that intuitive wisdom, the guidance system within you that's telling you to go left or right or whatever, whatever that first next best step is for you. All right, gorgeous souls, that's it from us for this episode. We will see you again for the second task in initiating.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (47:09.012)
Mm -hmm.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (47:16.99)
the intuition.